To the tune of ‘Manic Monday’ by the Bangles, you can follow the song by clicking HERE.

It’s that time already
I was just eating some chocolate ice cream
I’ve been thinking all day
About my column and what should be its theme
But it can’t be late
‘Cause then it’s Thursday and it wont be right
These are the days
I wish that Vinnie had a show every night

It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday

I think I need a miracle
‘Cause all I see on my screen is white
I’m running out of time
and I’ve still got nothing to write
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna say
I post a YouTube clip or two
And everything is a-ok

It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday

Why in my mind
Did I choose to make fun of a Bangles song
It’s just too hard
Does it really matter
That it’s hard to change the words
I’ll just write anything down
A giant has a big voice
and Mimes, they don’t make a noise
Time for a ke-bab
and a Hot Cross Bun

It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday

At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day

It’s just a column on a Wednesday

Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.

WWE Judgment Day

I actually made predictions in last week’s column, if thats what you want to call them. Let’s see if my wishes came true.

Umaga def. CM Punk

I got this one wrong. Infact, judging by the length of this match. This wasnt a 30 minute match was it? It wasnt even a 10 minute match. No, it was more like this …

Christian def. Jack Swagger

Who didnt see this coming a mile away huh? Christian won. Personally, I dont see why Jack Swagger cant win, I mean, he’s been in commercials. At least, I think it’s him, it sure sounds like him. Here, judge for yourself.

John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin

This shows you just how much means in the scheme of things, that as of last Wednesday, this match was not announced for the Pay Per View. Which means, that this match had at most exactly four days build up. Four Days People! How can you build a PPV match in four days? It’s just like working out if the contractors building the Death Star knew what they were getting into? I’ll let Dante and Randal explain.

A segment involving the Miz, Chavo and Santino

Thats the Miz, Chavo Guerrero and Santino Marella

Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho

Well it looks like my dreams didnt come true. Rey Mysterio didnt get Swine Flu nor did he get booted back to Mexico. Perhaps I should’ve gotten JBL to do it. Rather than comment on this match, why not show it to you. I present to you, Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho.

Batista def. Randy Orton by DQ (Orton retains WWE Championship)

Randy cheats to win, so Big Dave doesnt win the title. Hooray for Randy, thank you for not letting that useless lug win the title. It’s good to see they might let Randy hold the title for a few months, or at least until this man comes back. However, spoiler note, Randy Orton scheduled to defend the WWE Championship three times during RAW’s tour of Australia and New Zealand in early July. Before you ask, no I’m not going, my birthday is too close to the touring dates (the last day of the tour is the day before my birthday), which means that chances are, Randy isnt losing the title before then.

Wasn’t Batista a Body Builder?

John Cena def. Big Show

First off, did you know John Cena gave driving tips? Secondly, if anyone actually thought that Big Show was going to win at Judgment Day should not be allowed to be a wrestling fan ever again. Thirdly, don’t you pay attention to rhymes? Fourthly and finally, Are we gonna have a shower or what?

Edge def. Jeff Hardy

Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship, which means for the first time in a long while, all major titles have been retained at the one PPV. Which is good, considering I was at a concert the other night and was surprised to see Jeff Hardy reforming his old band. Here’s a clip.

No TNA this week, I went through a fair bit last week and the only thing that has been added is that Jeff Jarrett is now a part of the Title match at Sacrifice. That’s J-E-Double F J-A-Double R-E-Double T. What is he Sacrificing in order to be in the match? Why ownership of TNA of course. Judging by that, my prediction is, either Angle loses or Foley loses. My guess, Angle loses to Foley.

That’s it for another Wednesday, don’t forget to check out my review of the Vintage Collection over at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com and the sister site of BoredWrestlingFan.com, VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com.

I leave you this week, with the softer side of the Doug Anthony All Stars. Here it is!! Tune in next week.

For some reason, I’ve always been facinated with Donald Trump, especially after starting my own business several years ago.  I’d heard that The Donald only sleeps four hours a night, so that while his competition was asleep, he’d be up coming up with new innovations.  Let’s face it, whatever the guy is doing, it works.

I happened to walk in to a discount book store a couple of months ago while my car was in for an oil change, and two books jumped out at me – “Tietam Brown” by Mick Foley, and “How to Get Rich” by Donald Trump.  At the time, I still had a few books to read, but I bought them both.  After finishing Chris Jericho’s “A Lion’s Tale: Around The World In Spandex,” I picked up Trump’s book and started reading.  I’ve thusfar found it difficult to put down.  I came across the following in a section (Trump’s book doesn’t really have chapters in the traditional sense) called “Cover These Eleven Bases (The Art of Public Speaking, Part II)” and immediately thought about the WWE and TNA.

“Notes can sometimes function as a useful reference point, especially if you’re speaking to a large audience.  If you’re prepared, no one can tell that you’re using them.  Ideally, you don’t want to read a speech.  For some reason, no matter how good your delivery is when you read a speech, it’s usually boring.  Everyone sees that you’re reading it and it’s never quite the same as delivering it off the cuff.  Notes offer the best of both worlds:  They keep you focused and moving in the right direction without turning you into a stiff.”

Now obviously, the wrestlers aren’t out there reading their lines off of a piece of paper, but they are essentially reciting them verbatim from the run sheets.  Think about it.  Think about the greatest talkers in wrestling’s illustrious history.  Dusty Rhodes.  Ric Flair.  Hulk Hogan.  Randy Savage.  Steve Austin.  The Rock.  How many of them had their promos written word for word for them?  I’d bet none.

This is a challenge to the WWE and TNA wrestling.  Give your guys bullet points to hit and let them go out and get themselves over.  If they can’t, back to the indies with them.  If they can, championship gold and big money.  Yes, you’re television entities, but that does not mean you have to script everything.

Well after a long week if doing what it is I do during the week, I like nothing more than to tell you all my views on things.  I wont keep you waiting any longer so here we go: (more…)

Greetings, line crossers!

Apologies for the lateness of this report. I started it on time, I swear! The hellish nightmare that is the end of a school year plus an obscenely lengthy commute equals not enough time for writing prior to the weekend. Much like the film career of Kurt Angle, though, it will all be over soon. Tonight’s episode is titled “Nightmare at the Asylum.” The jokes write themselves, don’t they? Onward!

(more…)

The guys over at IGN (best known to wrestling fans for the annual SmackDown Countdown that leads up to the release of the SmackDown vs. RAW video games) have posted what they believe to be the worst wrestling gimmicks of all time.  Though, I’ve got to say, I still miss The Goon!

IGN: IGN’s 25 Worst Wrestling Gimmicks.

Giggity giggity giggity it’s time for this week’s review of WWE Superstars… Let’s go!

Right out of the gate we get the opening match.  Rey Rey against the Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin, with special guest commentating from the Shaman of Sexy, the Guru of Greatness, the Friday Night Delight John Morrison.

This beginning of this match was awesome!!!  Tons of flying and bumping.  Rey jumped off of the apron and connected with a hurricanrana on Shelton on the outside.  Shelton manhandled Rey a little bit during the match, as most people do.  Loads of athleticism were on display during this really good match.  The greatest line of the match was when Morrison called Shelton “Socially awkward.”  Why hasn’t Shelton/Morrison been announced for Judgement Day?!  That would be a fantastic match.  Rey gets the win with the 619 and springboard splash.  This match was great and gets a 9.8 out of 10…it was that good!  After the match, Morrison and Shelton got in each other’s face and Morrison layed Benjamin out.

Match number two is Mizark Hizenry facing the ECW CHAMPION…Captain Charisma…Christian!!!  This review will be full of plugs for Christian.  I can feel it now.

This one starts off with Big Mark displaying his power as well as Christian ability to sell and take bumps.  The quickness and smarts of Christian sends Henry to outside and he hits a baseball slide.  Back from commercial break, Christian continues to exhibit his bumping ability, as he allows Mark Henry to dominate the match offensively.  Christians speed and passion take Mark Henry down, as he hits a dropkick from the top rope.  His agility got him out of several power move attempts by Henry, and he eventually hits a crossbody off the middle rope to pin the World’s Strongest Man.  How can anybody deny that Captain Charisma is World Champion material?!  The guy is gold!!!!!  I give this match a 10 out of 10.  Not really, but it gets that because Christian was in it and got the win (it really was about an 8 out of 10).

Match number 3 is Big Show against Hornswoggle!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

This was billed as an exhibition match for Show.  The Big Show picked up the troll and placed him on the top rope and allowed him to do his tadpole splash, but Show moved out of the way.  HAHAHA!  This was rather humorous.  He placed him up on the top a second time, but Goldust did a run-in to rescue the midget and got a chokeslam and camelclutch for his efforts from the Big Show.  This was funny, but pointless.  Since this was not even a match, it gets no rating. 

The show was one of the better Superstars so far.  At least it didn’t involve any diva wrestling.  The show gets a 8.5 out of 10.  The last segment hurt it a little bit.  Now for a fact of life as I know it…the Houston Rockets are the worst team in the NBA without Yao and T-Mac.  How are the Lakers having so much trouble with them?  This proves they aren’t as great as everybody thinks they are!!! Kobe SUCKS!!!  Thanks for reading and see you next week.

Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.

WWE Judgment Day

Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!

CM Punk vs Umaga

Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.

Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship

Promo Video

Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.

Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship

Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.

John Cena vs the Big Show

Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen  this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …

Shane McMahon John Cena vs Big Show

Edge vs Jeff Hardy – World Heavyweight Championship

Been here. Seen it before. See? StingEdge vs Vampiro

Randy Orton vs Batista – WWE Championship

This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused,  I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.

Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …

and now, here’s Part Two!

TNA

They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.

However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …

If they lose …

If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again

Also on the card, is as follows:

I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles

Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion.
TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong

I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.

MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe

The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.

THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup

THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*

Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.

Happy Mother’s to all the mother’s out there!  Welcome again to another edition of JT’s Random Randomness.  Well without further ado, lets go: (more…)

It’s Thursday night, your Empress of “Impact” is here, and that can only mean one thing. No, not THAT! It’s time to find the nearest line and cross it!

(more…)

What up, Peeps?!  Let’s get this thing crackilackin’…

The show starts with “The Cutting Edge” with the World Heavyweight Champ hosting the number one contender Jeff Hardy

Edge starts off talking about their long and storied pasts and how it needs to end at Judgement Day.  He then calls Jeff a loser and tells him to crawl back into his hole.  Jeff has gotten better on the mic, but he continues to yell everything.  This ends with Hardy hitting the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb.  Whatever…moving on.

The first match of the evening is the Diva tag match with Miss Wrestlemania Santina Marella and Kelly Kelly taking on Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez

Diva wrestling blows!  Santino..errr…Santina is hilarious, but Kelly Kelly sucks.  This match was funny when Santino/a was involved.  Otherwise, it was a big fat stinky turd.  Anyways, Kelly Kelly gets the pin on Rosa.  This match gets a 3 out of 10 just because of the pure comedic gold that is Santino/a.

Woo Woo Woo.  The next match of the night is Finlay and Zack Ryder.  You know it!

Youtube the video entitled “My new haircut” and tell me Ryder doesn’t look like the douchebag in that video.  Woo Woo Woo… Finlay handles Zach Ryder in a pretty short one.  This match gets a 5 out of 10.  You know it!

The Main Event of the evening and a match that should Main Event at a ppv in the near future is The Shaman of Sexy John Morrison against Chris Jericho.

What a main event!  John Morrison in amazing and Chris Jericho is….Chris f’ing Jericho!!!  I want Morrison’s coat…that thing is awesome.  Jericho has gotten a little pudgy lately, but is still great.  Morrison maybe the most athletic guy in the WWE, and that’s saying something…that guy can hit some sick spots!  The end of the match sees Shelton Benjamin’s music hitting and him appearing on screen.  This distracts Morrison and Jericho hits the Code Breaker for the win.  This match gets a 8.5 out of 10. 

My favorite thing Jericho has ever done was the bet he had with Christian over who could hook up with Trish first.  The bet was for…wait for it…wait for it…ONE CANADIAN DOLLAR!  LMAO!!!  There’s my cheap Christian plug of the night.

Overall this show was pretty good.  It had good humor with Santino/a and a great match with Jericho and Morrison.  The show gets a 7.5 out of 10.  And now I shall leave you with a fact of life as I know it…The Office is awesome!!!