Well, Justin Ruff may not be an awards show kind of guy, but I absolutely LOVE the Slammys! Luckily, I happened to have written a half-assed recap of RAW to use as reference for next Sunday’s episode of BWF Radio, so I’ll add to it a little and use it as this week’s RAW review!
We kick things off with the “Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That Moment of the Year” award, presented by Booker T and Hornswoggle. The nominees are:
Jim Ross winning the dance contest portion of the “Michael Cole Challenge.”
Santino Marella nearly winning the Royal Rumble
The Miz disguised as The Rock attacking John Cena
R-Truth getting okie-doked by Little Jimmy
The Slammy goes to: Jim Ross! Michael Cole interrupts JR’s acceptance speech, which leads to a battle rap between the two. JR flubs his lines but still manages to win. Before he leaves, Booker T convinces him to do a “JR-Roonie.”
This is Jim Ross’s first Slammy!
Mick Foley and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase present the “Holy !@#$ Moment of the Year” award. Mick wonders why Ted DiBiase is presenting the award with him. DiBiase says it’s because he’s an ordained minister. So he’s the “Holy” part. The nominees are:
Sheamus puts Sin Cara through a ladder at Money In The Bank
Randy Orton RKO’s Christian out of the air and onto the steps at SummerSlam
Evan Bourne hits “Air Bourne” on all of the other Money In The Bank participants at Money In The Bank
Mark Henry and The Big Show break the ring at Vengeance
And the winner is: The Big Show and Mark Henry. Big Show accepts the award, then heads down to the ring for his match.
This is Big Show’s second Slammy. He won the award for Tag Team of the Year in 2009 as part of Jeri-Show. This is Mark Henry’s first Slammy.
The Big Show def. Wade Barrett via Disqualification – Barrett cut a promo on the way to the ring. He tried to use a chair, but Big Show punched it out of his hand.
The Road Dogg Jesse James (yes, you read that right) presents the award for “Pipe Bomb of the Year.” Instead of actual nominees in the category, various sound clips (mostly bloopers) are played. The winner, of course, is CM Punk, who comes to the podium with a mannequin in a Dynamic Dudes t-shirt and dedicates the win to John Laurinaitis. Punk then plays a video package of Laurinaitis’ career that says “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the end. It was set to “The Touch,” which, if you’re a dork like me, you’ll remember as the theme song from the 1986 animated classic, “Transformers The Movie.”
This is Punk’s fourth Slammy – he’s previously won the 2008 OMG Moment award for cashing in his Money In The Bank contract on Edge, the 2009 Shocker of the Year award for forcing Jeff Hardy to leave WWE, and the 2010 Despicable Me award for singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.
Here to present our next award… it’s LITA! She’s here to present the “Divalicious Moment of the Year” award. The nominees are:
Natalya puts Layla and Eve in the Sharpshooter at the same time
Kelly Kelly wins the Divas Championship
Kharma debuts at Extreme Rules
Beth Phoenix gives Eve a Glam Slam from the top rope at Survivor Series
And the winner is: Kelly Kelly. Beth Phoenix comes out, steals the Slammy, and proclaims herself Diva of the Year, but Kelly slaps her and takes it back.
This is Kelly Kelly’s first Slammy!
Santino Marella and the Bella Twins present the award for “OMG Moment of the Year.” The nominees are:
Triple H tombstones The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXVII
The Rock Rock Bottoms John Cena at WrestleMania XXVII
The WWE Superstars walk out on Triple H
CM Punk wins the WWE Championship and walks out on WWE
And the winner is: Triple H! Hunter heads straight to the ring and cuts a promo on Kevin Nash. He scares Santino away at the top of the ramp.
This is Triple H’s second Slammy. He won the award for “Best Hair” in 1997.
David Otunga and Tony Atlas present the award for “Trending Superstar of the Year.” Otunga explains, while Tony Atlas laughs the whole time, that the four nominees will wrestle in a Fatal Four Way Match. While the match is going on, the first one of the four to trend on Twitter will win the award, which will be presented after the match. The nominees – and participants in the next match – are:
Cody Rhodes
Zack Ryder
Daniel Bryan
Dolph Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler def. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, and Zack Ryder in a Fatal Four Way Match. This match is a must-watch. Hell of a battle between these four, and they gave it a lot of time. In the end it was Ziggler hitting a Zig Zag on Daniel Bryan to pick up the hard fought victory. However…
Jerry “The King” Lawler enters the ring and announces that the winner of “Trending Superstar of the Year” is, of course, Zack Ryder. Ryder gets his Slammy, but Ziggler hits him with a Zig Zag and walked away with the trophy.
This is Zack Ryder’s second Slammy. He won the 2010 “Most Annoying Catchphrase” Slammy for “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.” My how times have changed.
Christian, on crutches and wearing a neck brace, presents the award for “Game Changer of the Year,” but not before calling himself the “Courageous Superstar of the Year” and blaming the WWE Universe for him not being in the running for “Superstar of the Year” later on tonight. The nominees are:
Vince McMahon removed from power
Edge retires
The Rock and John Cena set a date for WrestleMania 28
Kevin Nash returns at SummerSlam
And the winner is: The Rock and John Cena. Cena accepts the award and says it’s a two person award. He introduces The Rock, who doesn’t come out. Cena says that we have him via satellite. We don’t. Cena says he’s saying these things to make the Rock that much more motivated to put boots to asses.
This is John Cena’s 4th Slammy. He’s won the 2009 and 2010 Superstar Of The Year awards, and the 2010 Holy !@#$ Moment for putting Batista through the stage with an Attitude Adjustment.
The Miz & Alberto Del Rio def. CM Punk & Randy Orton – The Miz and Alberto Del Rio won by keeping Punk away from Orton. Orton was eventually pulled off the apron by Wade Barrett, leaving Punk alone, and the numbers game caught up with him. After the match, Orton took off looking for Barrett, while The Miz and Del Rio assaulted Punk with a ladder. Del Rio locked the Cross Armbreaker in on Punk through the rungs of the ladder while Miz stated that no matter what happens, Punk won’t walk out of TLC with the WWE Championship.
We get another “Kane Resurrected” Promo
Vickie Guerrero and Goldust present “WWE A-Lister Of The Year.” The nominees are:
The Muppets
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green
Hugh Jackman
And the winner is: Snooki, who accepts via pre-recorded message. She wishes Zack Ryder luck at TLC and gives a “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.”
I’m sure it goes without saying that this is Snooki’s first, and probably only, Slammy.
Matt Striker interviews Mark Henry backstage, who is looking to induct John Cena into the Hall of Pain tonight.
Sheamus heads to the ring for action. His opponent is scheduled to be Jinder Mahal, but as he’s talking trash when he gets in the ring, Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick and leaves.
Rey Mysterio presents “Superstar of the Year.” The nominees are:
John Cena
Alberto Del Rio
Mark Henry
CM Punk
Randy Orton
The Miz
And the winner is: CM Punk, with his second victory of the night. John Laurinaitis says Punk is in no condition to accept, so he accepts on Punk’s behalf.
This is Punk’s 2nd Slammy tonight and his 5th overall win.
Mark Henry walking backstage is cut off by the newest cryptic video.
John Cena vs. Mark Henry ends in a no contest when Kane returns! Wearing a hard black mask when he gets to the ring, he chokeslams John Cena! He sets off his pyro and removes the black mask, only to reveal that he’s returned to wearing a half mask and having long hair.
My thoughts: Quick thoughts, of course. I need stuff for the podcast, after all. I’m glad to see Kane back, and back to his old look. Maybe we’ll get the Big Red Monster back! And yes folks, all the stats I added in about the Slammys are 100% correct. I did my research!
The TNA World Heavyweight Champion dropped off the Power Poll last week, but is back with a vengeance after a victory over Samoa Joe on iMPACT and retaining his title in the four way at Victory Road. (My vote: 2)
2. Randy Orton (3)
The Viper holds strong this week, climbing to number two despite a loss to Edge. The reason? How about the Holy Shit moment of the night from RAW where Orton RKO’d Evan Bourne right out of Air Bourne? That twitter Trending Topic worthy move definitely boosted Orton’s ranking in the eyes of the voters. (My vote: 1)
3. Jack Swagger (5)
The World Heavyweight Champion and his ruthless aggression continue to shine on Friday Night Smackdown, where this week he dragged Rey Mysterio all across the backstage area in an Ankle Lock, then tried to pull the same on The Big Show before being interrogated by Kane. (My vote: 3)
4. Sheamus (1)
The WWE Champion drops three spots after running from The Nexus on RAW before saving his Money In The Bank challenger John Cena from the group later in the night. (My vote: 9)
5. John Cena (2)
Meanwhile, a decent promo to kick off RAW and a strong showing against the aforementioned Nexus in a 6-on-1 handicap match can’t keep John Cena from also falling three spots. (My vote: NR)
6. The Miz (NR)
The United States Champion continues RAW’s dominance of this week’s Power Poll after his decimation and humiliation of Mark Henry on Monday Night. (My vote: 6)
7. Edge (NR)
The Rated R Superstar, yet another RAW wrestler, breaks into the Power Poll top 10 with a victory over Randy Orton and a killer promo later in the night. (My vote: 7)
8. Kurt Angle (8)
Kurt Angle may be staying put on the Power Poll rankings, but a victory over The Pope at Victory Road will almost certainly move him up the rankings in TNA. (My vote: NR)
9. Wade Barrett (NR)
The leader of The Nexus made a huge splash in the first week of the Power Poll, but has just now found his way back. A great promo to kick off RAW, the Nexus’ subsequent beatdown of several Superstars backstage, and leading the group to victory over John Cena will do that. (My vote: NR)
10. Rey Mysterio (4)
The World Heavyweight Champion manages to stay on the list, despite his only appearance on SmackDown having been dragged down a hallway by Jack Swagger. Apparently, being a World Champion is heavily considered by several members of the Power Poll Panel.
Dropped out: Abyss, Evan Bourne, Jay Lethal, Jeff Hardy
Also receiving votes: Jay Lethal, Evan Bourne, Jeff Hardy, Abyss, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Abyss, Justin Gabriel, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho, Pope D’Angelo Dinero, Doink the Clown, The Nexus, Samoa Joe, Kazarian, A.J. Styles, Percy Watson, Alicia Fox, Maryse, Kaval
Wrestlers that I voted for who did not make the list include: A.J. Styles (4), Kazarian (5), Samoa Joe (8), and Doink The Clown (10).
The Power Poll is expanding. If you write for a wrestling website or podcast and are interested in being a voter, e-mail wrestlespective(at)gmail.com and include a link to your site.
This week’s RAW review is written by frequent contributor @TheMizMagnet, who used to be @AlyKat_730. Aly liked doing the guest host thing in my RAW reviews so much that she was the first person to volunteer when I asked if anybody wants to take over for me here on BWF on Monday Nights. Let us know what you think of Aly’s work via facebook, twitter, or MySpace!
Tonight’s RAW is hosted by actor and Twitter sensation (I read that somewhere… I think it was WWE Universe’s Twitter), Ashton Kutcher! The main event is a tag-team match between Randy Orton and WWE Champion John Cena, taking on Sheamus and Edge!!
We start in the middle of some action already up. Edge was beating on Evan for some reason, and told Evan that it was his ring. According to Michael, Edge came out before RAW and said it was his ring, and Evan Bourne came out to say that he wasn’t going to wait for a chance. Holy crap, is the RAW set backwards?
Anyway, Edge and Evan Bourne are fighting in the ring, and as Edge Irish Whips Evan into the ropes, Evan gets the upperhand. Here, Jerry Lawler would like to point out to us that this is not an official match, which I think all of us knew based on the fact that Edge was still in his jeans… Anyway, Evan gets Edge down, and goes for Air Bourne, but Edge rolls out of the way and hits Evan with the Spear. We find out that before we joined RAW, Evan asked for a match, stating that if he beat Edge, he wanted Edge’s spot in the Fatal Four-Way for the WWE Championship.
Edge calls for a mic and says that what happened to Evan Bourne is exactly what is going to happen to his opponents at Fatal 4Way: Randy Orton, Sheamus, and WWE Champion, John Cena. He continues on, saying no matter what he does, or how many times he proves his dominance, people like Evan Bourne and the WWE Universe continue to disrespect him. At Fatal 4Way, that all changes, because he’s nothing like his opponents. He’s not like John Cena, who’s the WWE Universe’s superhero, and quite possibly the strongest man in the industry. He’s not like Sheamus, who doesn’t care who gets in his way and will bulldoze his way through anyone to take what he wants. And he’s definitely not like Randy Orton, that snake in the grass who lies in wait to pounce and sink his fangs into you. He goes on to say that the WWE Universe are a bunch of sheep (Chris Jericho anyone?) who just fall in line. At Fatal 4Way, Edge says he’s going to prove everyone who disrespects him wrong when he becomes a ten-time WWE Champion. Gonna be honest here… I was hoping he’d go on another ‘WRONG!’ tirade, but he didn’t.
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
Randy comes out, and Jerry or Michael Cole tell us that there are 13,124 members of the WWE Universe in attendance tonight. Whatever. Randy gets in the ring, and Edge seems to be backing away, staying cautious. Edge says that Randy thinks he’s just gonna come out there and do something to Edge, but it won’t happen because Randy’s not at 100% due to what Edge did to him at Over the Limit (a dislocated shoulder, for those of you who don’t know). Edge starts to present Randy with an option concerning Fatal 4Way, but Randy RKO’s Edge. Reminder: These two men will be on opposite sides of the ring tonight as they go to tag team action. Randy Orton and WWE Champion, John Cena vs Edge and Sheamus. Up next, we hear from Ashton Kutcher!
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to Monday Night RAW to see Ashton Kutcher on his laptop, talking about Zack Ryder talking smack to him on Twitter. Eve Torres comes up and they hug, and Eve asks what’s going on. Ashton tells her that Zack Ryder was talking smack about him on Twitter. Does Zack know that Ashton is guest host and that he has five million Twitter followers?! Eve asks what Ashton’s going to do about it, and Ashton says he’s going to put a hit on Zack Ryder, and it could be anyone: A referee, a wrestler, a Diva, Eve herself, Ashton, an announcer…
About that time, Miz shoes up and says that Ashton wanted to see him. This was confirmed by my friend, @Niki_Sushi that Ashton really did tweet Miz to see him during RAW (@aplusk: hey @mikethemiz I need to see you tonight. #RAW). Miz goes on with theories about why Ashton may want to see him, and even mentions that Ashton may want him to star in The Killers 2. Ashton laughs and says that he and Bret Hart have set up a match for The Miz tonight against a Superstar they have acquired a one-night contract for: Daniel Bryan. Ashton says that Daniel Bryan is going to make the Miz tap out, and Miz retorts that Ashton needs to grab his camera and take pictures of what The Miz is going to do to Daniel Bryan tonight. Ashton responds, saying that Miz wouldn’t be able to see it because it’d be so far up his- He is about to continue, but Eve stops him and reminds both men that this is PG television.
New United States Champion R-Truth vs Chris Jericho
Truth is called out to the ring, his new United States Championship around his waist. RAW shows a replay of last week,where R-Truth faced The Miz to pick up the championship. Chris Jericho gets into the ring after his entrance plays, and this is where I realize they’re coming out from the other side of the entrance thing this time. It messed me up.
The match starts, and Chris gets Truth in a headlock. Truth pushes him into the ropes, only to run into a clothesline from Jericho. Truth retaliates with a hip toss on Chris, and Chris goes for a Codebreaker, but Truth catches his feet and tosses him out onto the ring floor before jumping over the top rope and landing on him.
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to see Chris in control. Apparently, he dropped Truth, stomach-first, into the top rope and then used a baseball slide to get Truth out of the ring. Now, Chris has him in a headlock, but it’s not too long before Truth starts to fight out, successfully breaking the hold. Truth takes Chris down for a pin, but Chris kicks out at two. Chris uses the insigari on Truth, and goes for a pin, but Truth kicks out a two. Truth has Truth between the top and middle rope and holds on, breaking at three before going back and breaking at four. Truth gets up only to be thrown into the turnbuckle and beats on him, pulling Truth out at the ref’s three count. Chris gets Truth down, and Chris pantomimes wiping his hands before he brings Truth to his feet. He slaps Truth, then Irish Whips him. Truth retaliates with a flying shoulder.
Truth then takes control, hitting Chris before he dances and slaps Chris to the ground. Truth Irish Whips Chris, who manages a counter, only to get hit with a hurricanrana. Truth kicks Chris in the face and goes for the pin, but Chris kicks out at two. Truth runs at Chris, but Chris kicks him in the face and the bulldogs Truth. He goes for the Lionsault, but Truth rolls out of the way. Truth gets Chris on his knees, then goes for the bicycle kick before Chris gets out of the way and goes for the Walls of Jericho. He can’t lock it in, however, and ends up sending Chris away. Truth hits Chris with a kick to the stomach and seemed to attempt a suplex, only to drop Chris with a facebuster. He goes for a cover, but Chris kicks out at two.
Truth grabs Chris to pull him away from the ropes, but Chris holds on. The ref comes up to pull Truth off, and Chris takes advantage, poking Truth in the eyes. He then knocks Truth down, goes for a cover, and Truth kicks out at two. Chris kicks Truth in the head, while mocking him, yelling “What’s up!?”. Chris Irish Whips Truth, and bends down, probably for some move or another, but Truth kicks him in the stomach. Truth misses a spin kick, and Chris capitalizes by locking in the Walls of Jericho. Truth, however, counters it with a small package, and pins Chris for the win.
United States Champion R-Truth Wins!
Reminder! Our Main Event tonight is Edge and Sheamus vs Randy Orton and John Cena!
<COMMERCIAL>
The Fatal 4Way theme is Showstopper, by Toby Mac, I think it said. Anyway, a replay of last week is now shown. Batista is in the ring, bandaged and bruised in a wheelchair. He says that Cena is going to give him a rematch, he deserves a rematch. RAW Ring Announcer Justin Roberts interrupts him and says that he has just been asked to announce RAW’s new General Manager, Bret “The Hitman” Hart! flsajf;sdlkfjasldkfj… Sorry, I can’t stand Bret. Bret then tells Batista that he has a match tonight to get his rematch. He’ll face Randy Orton for a chance to qualify at Fatal 4Way. Batista says he can’t possibly fight tonight, and Bret can’t make him. Bret then says that if he doesn’t fight, he forfeits. Batista says if that happens, he’ll quit. Bret says that Randy qualifies by forfeit, Batista flips and says that WWE is nothing without him, and quits.
Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox are together backstage, and they’re talking to someone, who we find out in just a second is Bret Hart, about Ashton Kutcher putting a hit on him. Bret says he has more important things to deal with than Zack. Zack claims that he’s watching Bret, and then walks away. The Hart Dynasty show up next and wonder what Bret wanted to see them about. Bret says he signed the three people that attacked them last week, and he’s not going to punish them for it either. He says that even though he’s General Manager of RAW now, he can’t cut the Hart Dynasty any favors. He then says that the question the Hart Dynasty needs to ask is what they’re going to do about it.
Eve’s music hits and she is accompanied to the ring by Santino Marella. This should be entertaining…
<COMMERCIAL>
Mixed Tag Team Match: WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres and Santino Marella vs. Maryse and William Regal with Vladimir Kozlov
We come back to see Santino teaching Eve how to do his weird cobra thing. Eve’s music fades and Maryse’s plays. She stops about halfway down the ramp, and William Regal’s music hits, and he’s joined by Vlaidimir Kozlov. Santino takes the mic when Willaim and Vladimir get to the ring, saying that, for the love of George Lucas, Willaim Regal should get rid of the Darth Vader wannabe music. He then asks Vladimir why he comes out to the ring with Regal when the two of them could be a great tag team. He continues on to say that if Kozlov joins him, then Eve will make love to him. Kozlov looks interested for a minute before Eve says that’s not true, and Santino clarifies that Eve would love for Kozlov to join with Santino, not the other thing.
The match starts with Eve and Maryse. Or, it would, if one of them would attack the other. They stand there for about a minute, just laughing at one another. Eve finally goes at Maryse, who knees her and then Irish Whips Eve, who rolls over Maryse. Maryse then drop kicks Maryse, who moves to the corner to take Regal in. Santino is tagged in, and seems to be luring Regal in. The crowd chants for Santino, who acts a little embarrassed. Santino looks like he’s trying to do a leg sweep to Regal, who finally gets sick of him and throws Santino around, calling him a ‘bloody idiot’. He goes for the Regal Stretch, but Eve kicks him, breaking it up, and Maryse goes after her. The ref and Regal are both watching the Divas, and Kozlov comes in, chokeslamming Regal before rolling out of the ring and walking up the ramp with Maryse. Santino’s arm covers Regal, and Eve and Santino win.
Diva’s Champion Eve Torres & Santino Marella win.
Bret Hart is on his way to the ring for an important announcement concerning next week’s show!
<COMMERCIAL>
The WWE shows their annual Memorial Day package, which is dedicated to the fallen soldiers in the United States Military who died to protect the freedoms we hold dear today. Happy Memorial Day, everyone!
Justin Roberts then introduces the new General Manager of RAW, Bret “The Hitman” Hart! Bret comes to the ring and says that even though he’s only been General Manager of RAW for about a week, he’s having loads of fun. He got together with Smackdown General Manager, Theodor Long, and decided to do something special for next week! All of the Superstars from RAW and Smackdown are going to come together under one roof live next week, and it’s going to be a three hour special RAW! But, not just any special three hour RAW! The fans are going to be apart of the action. The fans can tell their ideas to Bret, and the WWE Superstars can even bring their ideas to Bret
It’s a new day… it’s a new generation…
Ted DiBiase comes out to the ring, joined by Virgil, and says that if Bret and Teddy Long are accepting suggestions, he’s got one: Make him General Manager for the night. Not guest host, but General Manager, with complete power. He says that he’s willing to pay Bret and Teddy Long whatever it takes, because, even though Bret may stand there an dlook like he’s too good to be bought, everybody has a price. Ted goes on to say that Teddy Long will be bought off easily, and the reason Bret came back to the WWE and became RAW’s General Manager was because he needed money. He says that the only thing Bret has to do to make all his problems go away is name is price.
Ashton Kutcher comes over the TitanTron with one of his pre-taped clips and tells them to wait. Before Bret gives that power to Ted DiBiase, why don’t they give that power to the fans? The only thing they have to do is make it a Viewer’s Choice, let the fans pick the matches and stipulations all across the board. Bret agrees, so next week’s RAW is not only three hours long, but is a Viewer’s Choice RAW!
No Chance… that’s what you’ve got…
Look Busy! The boss is comin’!
Vince seems rather happy tonight as he makes his way down the ramp, and Jerry Lawler points out that this is the first time we’ve seen him since Wrestlemania 26. Vince talks to Bret, asking if he got all of the violence on his heart out. Bret says mostly, and a ‘You Tapped Out’ chant starts. Vince claims he didn’t really, and tells Bret that he has to treat the WWE Universe as children, and he means that in the most complimentary way. But, what he means by that is that they can’t make the right decisions, and sometimes, you have to make the decisions for them. Bret says that he’s ready for whatever the WWE Unvierse is going to throw at him, and tells Bret that he hopes Bret’s story as General Manager has a happy ending.
Turns out Zack is still trying to figure out who his hitman is, and he’s confronted Randy Orton about it. Randy tells Zack that if he wanted to take him out, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. Alicia Fox grabs Zack’s hand and leads him away, claiming that she knows how to figure out who it is. Randy watches them go, and then the door opens slightly and then slams shut on Randy’s shoulder. Edge stands there as Randy holds his shoulder, and then steps over him and heads out like nothing happened.
<COMMERCIAL>
The Miz vs Daniel Bryan
AWESOME!! I came to play!
Miz comes to the ring first, followed by Daniel Bryan, who is still coming down to the NXT theme. There is a replay here of what happened on NXT last time, where Michael Cole confronted Daniel Bryan (who looked like his fashion sense was very Miz-inspired). Bryan says that Michael Cole isn’t a man because he can’t escape from a simple handshake. Security rushes in, and Cole slaps Bryan. Bryan chased Cole around the ring and security finally pushes him off. The pros watch as Bryan comes up, and Miz tells Bryan he should just leave, only for Bryan to get mad and punch Miz. The two go at each other, only for security to end up escorting Bryan backstage.
In the ring, Daniel quickly gains the upperhand, putting Miz in an armbar. The ref is trying to pull Daniel off. When he finally gets off, Daniel runs into the turnbuckle, and Miz gets him with a take down before he just begins wailing on Bryan, ending it with a kick to the face before going for a cover. Bryan kicks out at two. He then slaps Miz, and Miz starts wailing on him. Miz then throws Bryan into the corner before hitting him with a swinging corner clothesline. From there, Miz climbs up the turnbuckle and jumps off, driving his fists into Bryan’s shoulders and Michael Cole won’t shut up about how outraged he is by Daniel Bryan’s actions on NXT and blah blah blah. No one likes you, Cole, go find your real family. Miz keeps wailing on Bryan, who finally gains the upper hand and gets Miz in some arm bar/headlock move. Miz rolls back to cover, but Bryan moves and manages to cover Miz for the win.
Daniel Bryan wins.
After the match, Miz attacks Brian, throwing him out of the ring. Miz climbs out and kicks Bryan’s head before picking him up and taking him to the announce table, telling him to apologize to Cole. Bryan then elbows Miz’ gut before sending him flying over the announce table and into Michael Cole. Is there going to be a match with Michael Cole and Daniel Bryan next week?!
<COMMERCIAL>
Cole claims to be assaulted for the second time in less than a week, but no one besides Jerry Lawler seems to care… Actually, Jerry doesn’t even seem to care that much. A replay to last week is played where the new tag team attacks the Hart Dynasty.
We come back to RAW to see the new tag team standing the ring, saying that the whole world is tripping over them. They are Jay and Jimmy Uso, Rikishi’s twin sons, with Tamina Snuka, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka’s daughter. They claim that the Hart Dynasty aren’t the only ones with family that run deep in the business. The Harts were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. They claim they were born and created for one purpose: Dominate!
The Hart Dynasty comes out, and Tamina and Natalya roll out of the ring. The Hart Dynasty goes for the Hart Attack, but Tamina grabs Tyson’s ankles, and turns just in time to deliver a vicious clothesline to Natalya. Tamina takes Natalya back in the ring, and the three of them perform a frog splash on all three members of the Hart Dynasty.
Still to come, the Main Event! Will Randy Orton be able to compete, or will Cena have to find a new partner?!
<COMMERCIAL>
Oh, radio, tell me everything you know…
We come back in time for Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox to come down to the ring. Zack says that he knows Ashton Kutcher put a hit out on him, and Alicia had a great idea: Come down to the ring and demand to know who it was. Because that’s not common sense or anything. Ashton comes on the TitanTron and asks if Zack wants to know who it is. Zack says yes, and Jerry Lawler starts into the ring with a chair.
Zack Ryder with Alicia Fox vs Jerry “The King” Lawler with Steel Chair
Zack seems amused that it would be Jerry, but Jerry merely sits on the chair. Ashton gets Zack’s attention again and says that it’s not Jerry. Jerry climbs out of the ring, and different music hits.
Zack Ryder with Alicia Fox vs The Great Khali
Zack and Alicia immediately climb out of the ring as Khali makes his way to the ring, alone. He climbs in, looks at them, and then raises his arms. The crowd cheers, but Ashton comes back on and says that it’s not The Great Khali either.
Zack Ryder with Alicia Fox vs Goldust
Goldust starts down the ramp and takes a breath, but Ashton says it’s not him either. Zack claims that he’s getting really paranoid, and he just wants to know who it is. Ashton says that he’ll never see it coming. Alicia grabs the mic and says something unimportant. She goes to hand it back, but they both drop it. Zack bends over to grab it, and Alicia hits him with a scissor kick. Ashton claps, confirms it was Alicia, and then we’re reminded that the first Fatal 4Way match announced will be Randy Orton vs Edge vs Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena for the WWE Championship. Gonna be honest, I kind of like the theme for Fatal 4Way.
Edge is back in the back, getting ready, when Sheamus shows up. Sheamus says that he saw what Edge did to Orton and he liked it. He heard what Edge said earlier, and Edge was right: He’s nothing like Sheamus, and they don’t trust one another. Edge says if they’re smart, they can weaken Cena like he weakened Randy. Sheamus says that if Edge takes advantage of something at Sheamus’ expense, it’ll be the last mistake Edge ever makes.
<COMMERCIAL>
WWE Classics honors The Junkyard Dog this week, who died in 1998 in a car accident. Next week, RAW will be hosted by the cast of The A-Team!! Don’t forget, next week also starts at 8/7 PM Eastern/Central and is a Viewer’s Choice! During RAW, go to WWE.com to cast your opinion!
Edge and Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena and …??
You think you know me…
Edge makes his way to the ring followed by Sheamus, though neither of which looks like they actually trust one another.
Brrrrrrrr… SHABADOOOO!!!!
John Cena comes out with the WWE Championship and a mic. He says that he has unfortunate news: Since Edge decided to take out Randy Orton’s shoulder, Randy will be unable to compete. He says that Edge had a good plan to try to leave him short-handed, but Edge didn’t count on one thing: Every Superstar backstage hates Sheamus and Edge, so Cena could have anyone he wanted as a partner. He says that the partner he picked was a human wrecking ball, and had a particular beef with Edge.
Edge and Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena and Evan Bourne
I was really excited to see that Evan was getting his chance tonight, and he did prove to me, at least, that he can pull of main events. Anyway, Cena and Edge start. They lock up, and Edge knees Cena in the gut before punching him in the head. The then bounces John off the turnbuckle and punches him in the head again as Cena falls. Edge Irish Whips Cena, who gives Edge a bulldog, and then tags in Evan. Evan gives Edge some pretty solid kicks, and then takes Edge down. Edge shoves Evan to the mat, then Irish Whips him, only for Edge to counter with a hurricanrana. Evan then hits a standing dropkick, followed by a twisting drop kick which knocks Edge out of the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
When we come back, Cena is beating Sheamus down. Cena Irish Whips Sheamus across the ring and then tags in Evan. Evan launches himself across the ring at Sheamus and then covers, but Sheamus kicks out at two. Evan continues hitting Sheamus with a series of kicks aimed at his thighs before Sheamus knocks him down. Sheamus then picks Evan up and runs him into the turnbuckle, hitting his back before tagging in Edge. Edge elbows Evan down, stomping on him before laying him partially out of the ring. He kicks his head and then elbows him out onto the floor. He gets Evan back in before tagging in Sheamus, who lifts Evan up for a suplex. Evan brings his knees down, hitting Sheamus in the head. As soon as Evan’s feet hit the mat, he’s kicking Sheamus’ thighs again. He tries to jump to Cena, but Sheamus catches him and throws him away from his corner, where he clotheslines Evan, and ten goes for a cover. Evan kicks out at two.
Sheamus drops a knee on Evan’s face before stepping on Evan and tagging Edge in. Edge kicks Evan’s side, then hurls Evan across the ring into the turnbuckle. He goes for a cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Evan manages to gain a little momentum here, but Edge then kicks him in the face and goes for another cover. Again, Evan kicks out at two. Edge puts Evan in a headlock, but Evan manages to fight out and hit an insigari on Edge, leaving both of them motionless for a moment in the ring, tagging their partners in before the ref can hit six on the count.
Sheamus gets hit with a few shoulder blocks before Cena drops him and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He lifts Sheamus for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus manages to counter and slam Cena to the ground. Sheamus goes for his kick, but Cena moves. Evan jumps up, managing to kick Sheamus in the head. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and then Edge goes for a Spear, instead hitting the turnbuckle. Cena tags Evan in, and Evan hits Air Bourne before covering Sheamus for the win.
WWE Champion John Cena & Evan Bourne win!
Overall Thoughts: Overall, it was a pretty good RAW. Once again, the guest host segment was retarded, and I was a little disappointed that Ashton Kutcher’s segments were all pre-filmed instead of it all being live. But, the main event had some good action, and I’m glad that Evan got a push to the main event. Next week, I’ll be in class for about the first… half hour of RAW or so, but I’ll see if I can’t get a summary from a friend or something for ya. Also, next week is the return of the BWF Tweets!! Use the hashtag #BWF on Twitter to get your tweets in the review!! Seeya next week!
Twitter’s @DCsPeoplesChamp is in the Verizon Center as I type this, and tweeting from the show. I’m not watching, actually, but that’s because The Simpsons are on. Why can’t these companies have their PPVs on a night when nothing else is on, like a Saturday? Anyways, I digress…
Hey people! Let’s get this review of WWE Superstars going.
First Match is a Diva’s Tag Match pairing Gail Kim and the very delicious Maria against Alicia Fox and Michelle McCool
The match starts off with Gail Kim against Alicia Fox. Kim starts on the offense then tags Maria in, who continues the attack. Alicia Fox throws Maria into the ropes and McCool kicks her in the back o’ the head. A couple of quick tags in the Fox/McCool corner take place and Michelle McCool starts to wear Maria down. Gail Kim distracts McCool and Maria kicks her in the head and makes her way over to Kim for the tag. Kim hits a neckbreaker off the top rope. Kim goes up for another top rope manuever, but McCool executes a kick to Kim and makes the cover for the 3-count. Winner : Michelle McCool and Alicia Fox. I give this match a 4 out of 10. I’m not the biggest fan of Diva wrestling, and this was a very average match.
Next up is Pirate Paul….oh wait its just Paul Burchill w/ Katie Lea now against Evan Bourne
Paul Burchill starts off with the offense, but Bourne turns the tables with his quickness. Burchill’s strength puts him back in control for a bit. The quickness of Air Bourne gives him some offense, but he seemingly hurts his knee. Burchill focuses in on that knee with the help of his sister Katie Lea at ringside. Bourne battles back and takes Burchill down with a series of kicks. Bourne goes for the Shooting Star Press, but Burchill climbs the ropes to prevent it. Bourne then punches him of the ropes and Burchill lands on his back, and Shooting Star Press for Bourne for the win. I love that move. It is the prettiest move I have ever seen. I give this match a 7.5 out of 10. I wish Bourne had gotten more high flying spots, but both men worked well.
Backstage interview with Cody Whodth and Ted DiBiase. Does anybody else like Legacy as much as me?
Oh yeah…Christian is the new ECW champion! There it is….my Cheap Christian plug of the week. I hope the PEEPulation is growing!
Anywho…the main event of the evening is Ted Dibiase 2.0 against one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Carlito
The lock up has TD2 sending Carlito into the corner and beating him down. Carlito then switches it and beats on Dibiase. Good back and forth matchup to start the match. Pretty cool spot with both men going over the top to the outside happens, as Superstars goes to break. Back from break, DiBiase is on the attack and stomps Carlito into the mat. TD2 is very Randy Ortonesque in the ring. Dibiase hits his Million Dollar Dream Slam when Carlito tries a springboard elbow. Winner of the match is Ted Dibiase. I give this match a 8.5 out of 10. Both men are legit in the ring, and it blows my mind how Carlito has never gotten a main event shot.
The show was pretty good, with the exception of the Diva Tag match. I like them giving airtime to Ted Dibiase on here. He is definitely a future main eventer and needs the exposure. I guess its time to leave you with a fact of life as I know it. Most Diva wrestling sucks!!! Peace out peoples.
Due to circumstances beyond our control, I wasn’t able to write up an ECW review for last night. Here are the results, courtesy of WWE.com:
WWE Universe: Don’t forget, in two weeks, ECW on Sci Fi will begin airing at 9/8 CT on Sept. 30!
NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Both ECW Champion Matt Hardy and Mark Henry were victorious on ECW on Sci Fi on Tuesday night, as the rivals are just weeks away from their ECW Title match at No Mercy.
Henry sought retribution after last week’s ECW when Hornswoggle caused a distraction, leading Finlay to hit Henry with a shillelagh. With WWE Hall of Famer Tony Atlas in his corner, Henry got his revenge, causing Finlay’s luck to run out. Henry manhandled the Belfast Brawler throughout the match, but once The World Strongest Man cornered Hornswoggle, Finlay attacked Henry with the shillelagh for the second week in a row, an act unseen by the referee. While suffering through the pain inflicted on his arm by the shillelagh, Henry still dominated, pinning Finlay after a World’s Strongest Slam. Despite the win on ECW, The World’s Strongest Man has one thing on his mind – winning back the ECW Title he lost, without being pinned, during the ECW Championship Scramble Match at Unforgiven just nine days ago.
Also on ECW, Matt Hardy proved once again why he’s the ECW Champion when he pinned Mike Knox for the second week in a row. Hardy delivered another Twist of Fate to the devious Knox, who wore the battle wounds on his face from last week’s tag team defeat by the ECW Champ. Hardy, who has proclaimed he wants to be the greatest ECW Champion of all time, is looking stronger than ever with another victory under his ECW Title.
The rivalry between Evan “Air” Bourne and John Morrison & The Miz escalated to a new level this week when Bourne was accompanied to the ring by a fellow member of ECW General Manager Theodore Long’s New Superstar Initiative, Ricky Ortiz. Unlike last week, when The Miz distracted Bourne allowing Morrison to get the win, Bourne was victorious over The Miz this week in singles action. Morrison interfered by grabbing Bourne, prompting Ortiz to attack the Shaman of Sexy, distracting The Miz long enough for Bourne to roll up the self-proclaimed “Chick Magnet” for the victory.
Finally, “The All-American American” Jack Swagger was successful once again, this time defeating Chase Stevens. After winning his second match on ECW with a Red, White and Blue Thunder Bomb, smiling Swagger is looking like another fine Extreme competitor to come out of the ECW New Superstar Initiative.
ECW is getting back on track. The WWE knows what works and what doesn’t, and they’re straying away from the boring stuff that they had done for a couple of weeks post-draft.
Last night’s episode featured a live edition of The Dirt Sheet, a tag match featuring Ricky Ortiz and Evan Bourne taking on Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely, and Armando Estrada getting his last chance to earn an ECW contract, taking on Tommy Dreamer.
