“Bound for Glory” 2009
2 Comments“Bound for Glory” is TNA’s “Wrestlemania.” We’ve heard about the matches. We’ve made our predictions. Come with your Empress of “iMPACT” and cross the line!
“Bound for Glory” is TNA’s “Wrestlemania.” We’ve heard about the matches. We’ve made our predictions. Come with your Empress of “iMPACT” and cross the line!
Here I am, once again, doubling up on his dose of iMPACT for the week. With Spike TV’s airing of Global iMPACT 2, from Japan.
We begin with a promo for the event, involving Angle, Nash, Shelley and Team 3D.
Global Impact 2, is footage from Wrestle Kingdom III, January 4, 2009.
The results were as follows:
Dark Match: Milano Collection AT, Minoru and Taichi Ishikari def. Mitsuhide Hirazawa, Kazuchika Okada and Nobuo Yoshihashi
Mistico, Ryusuke Taguchi and Prince Devitt def. Averno, Jado and Gedo
Jushin Liger and Takuma Sano def. Wataru Inoue and Koji Kanemoto
GLOBAL IMPACT 2 FEATURED MATCH#1:
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
MotorCity Machine Guns (Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin) def. No Limit (Yujiro/Tetsuya Naito)
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Tiger Mask IV retains against Low Ki
GLOBAL IMPACT FEATURED MATCH#2:
Riki Choshu, Masahiro Chono, Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash def. Giant Bernard, Takashi Iizuka, Tomohiro Ishii and Karl Anderson
ZERO1 WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Yuji Nagata (c) def. Masato Tanaka
Jun Akiyama def. Manabu Nakanishi
GLOBAL IMPACT 2 FEATURED MATCH#3:
IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
HARDCORE MATCH
Team 3D (Brother Ray/Brother Devon) def. Most Violent Players (Togi Makabe/Toru Yano)
Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima didnt start, due to an eye injury to Tenzan.
Shinsuke Nakamura and Hirooki Goto def. Mitsuharu Misawa and Takashi Sugiura
IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Hiroshi Tanahashi def. Keiji Mutoh
This concludes the double-header of iMPACT. I have been the one they call ‘Your Legend Killer’.
Let’s cross the line, peeps!
“Last Chance to Surrender”
Really? To whom? Do I get to choose?
We open with a match! Excellent!
Match #1: Rhino vs. Sting: This match is part of the tournament to determine who joins Matt Morgan and Kurt Angle in the 4-way main event title match at “No Surrender.” Rhino assaults Sting with a barrage of punches and power. Sting gets Rhino in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Sting can’t even sit down into it anymore. Rhino gets Sting in a body scissors, but Sting refuses to tap out. Rhino lands some stiff chops on Sting. Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex. Rhino goes for a Gore, but Sting dodges it, and plants Rhino with the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting gets the pin and the three count. Sting advances in the tournament. Rhino lays Sting flat with another Gore post-match. The crowd chants “You suck!” Rhino flips off the crowd.
A recap of Rhino’s poat-match assault on Sting. AJ Styles and the TNA trainer see to Sting, and Sting may have cracked ribs.
To the Main Event Mafia locker room. Booker T babbles incoherently. Something about Matt Morgan. Kurt Angle talks about having to fight Morgan. Kip James is trying to put in phone lines. Booker babbles more. He needs to stop. Booker insults Kip, and Kip leaves. Scott Steiner tries to talk down Booker. They continue playing putt-putt golf.
Match #2: Chris Sabin (w/ Alex Shelley) vs. AJ Styles: Some matches, you just have to sit back and enjoy. This is one such match. Just listing the moves doesn’t do it justice anyway. It was counter after counter after counter. AJ wins with the Styles Clash. Alex Shelley was gold on commentary with Tenay and Taz. It’s AJ who advances in the tournament to join the main event at the ppv. Sabin looked awesome in th ematch though. Not that I’m biased or anything….
To the back! Lauren talks to Hernandez about fighting Homicide in the tournament. Eric Young interrupts them. He tells Hernandez that his dreams were crushed, that people like them don’t get a fair shake. Young is going to open Hernandez’s eyes, that he is his brother.
Daniels, the Number One Contender to the X-Division title, hits the ring, and he has a mike. He calls out X-Division Champion Samoa Joe. I love Joe’s new music, even though it isn’t really new. Daniels remembers a time when TNA revolved around the X-Division and three men: Samoa Joe, Daniels, and AJ Styles. We remember that too, Daniels! The three of them became like family. “Unbreakable,” 2005. The first and only time that the X-Division title was defended in the main event of a TNA ppv. The match involved those three, and that night set everything for TNA at the highest level. Joe is bored and tries to leave, but Daniels stops him. Daniels says that the MEM is afraid of Joe. Joe took the money from the MEM and threw away his friendships and his integrity. Daniels asks how Joe’s wife and son can respect him. Joe snaps and throws Daniels over in a brutal suplex.
To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan says that he and Kurt Angle have each other’s backs, and all is great with them.
Match #3: Suicide vs. Doug Williams: This is the third tournament match to determine who gets in the main event title match at the ppv. Doug Williams goes for power and technical mat work. Suicide counters with a more high-flying style. Poor Williams didn’t even get an entrance. Lots of “USA!” chants at Williams. Williams overpowers Suicide, chokes him in the ropes, and otherwise tries to ground the masked man. A snap suplex gets Williams a two-count. Suicide fights back with punches, and lands a dropkick on Williams. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes down and Suicide hits a flying cross body on him. Dinero’s distraction allows Williams to land the Chaos Theory suplex on Suicide and get the pin and win. Doug Williams advances.
To the back! Jeremy Borash talks to Sting about his injured ribs, and Sting not being in his prime. Sting knows that this is his last chance, and he’s going to take it.
The Beautiful People sit on their thrones backstage.
To the back! Lauren interviews The Beautiful People, who don’t care who Madison Rayne’s tag team partner is next week. They’re going to beat Madison Rayne with the ugly stick.
Match #4: Sojourner Bolt and Hamada vs. Christy Hemme and Tara: Tara and Hamada start. The action between Hamada and Tara is great! Hamada tags in Bolt, and Tara throws her around a bit before tagging in Hemme. Hemme gets a two-count on Bolt, and Hamada tags in. We cut to a commercial break. When we return, Bolt and Hemme are in. Tara tags in, and flattens Bolt with a clothesline. Tara gets the win with the Widow’s Peak. Post-match, Hamada plants Bolt with the Hamada Driver and leaves. Tara and Christy Hemme win.
To the back! JB asks Kurt Angle about Matt Morgan and mind games. Morgan comes up and claims that at the ppv, the world title match will come down to Morgan and Angle, and there will be no questions asked.
A video package detailing the history of LAX airs. This is the end of LAX. That makes me sad. We never got the big LAX vs MCMG tag team title feud that we should have gotten.
Match #5: Homicide vs. Hernandez: This is the last qualifying match for the World title match at the ppv. They shake hands and hug at the start. Hernandez powers down Homicide. Hernandez dominates the match, but Homicide counters with high-flying and scores a two-count. Hernandez recovers and dominates again. Hernandez gets the win after a hugely impressive slam. Homicide looks unhappy.
To the back! Lauren talks to the British Invasion. Doug Williams says that he will take on AJ alone, and talks him up with respect.
To the back! JB talks with AJ Styles about his upcoming match. AJ is rising from the ashes.
Kurt Angle comes out to commentary.
Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams: This match determines one of the two competitors in the ppv main event match. This was another really good match that I just had to sit back and enjoy. Very technically sound. AJ wins after his reverse DDT from the top rope. Really good work.
To the back! Team 3D has Jesse Neal’s back.
Match #7: Hernandez vs. Sting: Not much here, as Homicide ran in and assaulted Sting in the ribs with a bat. Hernandez is disqualified, and Sting gets the win. Homicide is unmasked as Eric Young. Hernandez is very unhappy.
Hernandez is in the ring with the mic, and gets jumped by The British Invasion, followed shortly by the entirety of World Elite. AJ Styles rushes the ring, followed by Beer Money and Team 3D. Major brawling ensues. Team 3D and the audience yell about tables. JT is not here to get them. Bashir is about to go through a table when Booker T and Scott Steiner run down and help the heels turn the tide in their favor. The faces get demolished, and the MEM music plays.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow. Two great wrestling matches, one really good wrestling match, and a blistering Daniels promo. Chris Sabin looked awesome, even in defeat, and should call me at once. Alex Shelley was tremendous on commentary. Tara and Hamada can really go, and would have a great series of matches if allowed. Christy Hemme still can’t wrestle, and Sojourner Bolt is just there. AJ Styles lived up to his moniker again, and by all rights, should win at the ppv. He probably won’t, but he should. Doug Williams reminded everyone just how good he really is. Joe and Daniels built beautifully to their ppv match. Matt Morgan’s interaction with Kurt Angle was great. This was a very solid “Impact,” and I’m stoked about ordering the ppv, as well as next week’s show.
Check back with us at BWF for all your wrestling goodness!
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
It’s chaotic! It’s crazy! It’s RAW!
JB and Lauren sound completely hoarse and strained vocally.
Lauren interviews Beer Money. Robert Roode talks at length in a sympathetic and reverent manner about Team 3D and their IWGP Tag Team title defense in Japan just before the TNA ppv. Beer Money bursts into hysterical laughter and talk about not caring at all that Team 3D would do something like that, and that they will still win.
Pre-show: Eric Young & Rhino vs. The British Invasion
Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams enter, accompanied by Rob Terry. Eric Young enters, looking disdainful of the whole thing. Rhino enters last, accompanied by two “special managers” who had won some kind of TNA promotion. Rhino was hugely over, and loud “Rhino!” chants kickstarted the match. Rhino extends the hand to make a tag, and EY pulls away. He drops down to the floor and refuses to make the tag. EY walks up the ramp to the back, where he is confronted by Jesse Neal. EY shoves Neal and exits. Neal moves to ringside, while the British Invasion works over Rhino. Magnus and Williams shake hands while double-teaming Rhino. Referee Rudy Charles yells at Neal for his presence, and Neal says that EY left. Charles appears to be ok with Neal filling in as Rhino’s partner. Rhino eventually tags in Neal, who cleans house at first. The British Invasion hits him with their double-team finishing move, and get the pin and victory. Rhino looks incredibly angry about the entire situation.
Lauren interviews Sting. Sting is confident, not overconfident like Matt Morgan. He says “Matt” many times. He’s confident because of his twenty-something years in the business, and his mission is what it always was: to return respect to TNA.
The song used with the opening video package is by the Goldy Locks Band. Yes, as in she who was once a manager in the early days of TNA.
X-Division title match (King of the Mountain)
Suicide vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin
Is this match first because it could be the match of the night, and having it first might pull some last-minute buys? Lance Storm says that putting your third-biggest match as the opener is the way to go, so that would certainly make sense here. KOTM rules are clearly explained by Mike Tenay. Curtis Granderson of the Detroit Tigers gets his own entrance, and comes out first. Jay Lethal enters first, Alex Shelley second (to a huge reaction), Consequences Creed third, Chris Sabin fourth (to another huge reaction), and lastly, the champion Suicide. “Can’t he just come in the regular way?” Don West, you funny, funny man! Suicide appears on the top of the KOTM penalty cage. All four guys rush Suicide and beat him down. Huge chants of “Motor City!” Suicide takes out all four guys with a ladder to big cheers. Suicide Solution onto the ladder on Lethal for a pin. Suicide is eligible, Lethal goes to the penalty box. Suicide pins Shelley, and Shelley goes to the penalty box. Suicide and Lethal go, Sabin throws a chair at Suicide’s head. Sabin invites Lethal to use the chair, then sits down in it. Lethal hits the Lethal Combination on Suicide onto the chair, causing Sabin to jump up at the last second. Lethal pins Suicide, with Sabin and Creed piled on top of him. Lethal is now eligible, and Suicide goes into the penalty box. Lethal Consequences and the MCMG jump around in a circle, doing the luche libre celebratory arm pump. Creed pins Shelley, making Creed eligible and sending Shelley to the penalty box again. Suicide monkeyflips Sabin onto the ladder. Sabin climbs the ladder to the top of the penalty box and makes a spectacular leap to the floor, taking out Suicide and Lethal Consequences. Shelley tries to climb the ladder without the belt, and is told no. Shelley and Sabin look at each other, and Sabin drops to the mat for Shelley to pin. Sabin fights the pin just a little, and claims that Shelley pulled his tights. Shelley gets the belt and climbs the ladder while Sabin goes to the penalty box. When he gets out, Sabin hits a huge tornado DDT on Lethal. Now all five guys are eligible to win, and Lethal goes to the penalty box. Sabin hits the Cradleshock on Suicide, sets up the ladder, and climbs the ladder, but Suicide stops him. Sabin hits a hesitation dropkick on Suicide after putting him in the tree of woe, but as he climbs the ladder, Lethal comes back in. Shelley hits Lethal with a frog splash. Creed hits Shelley with an enziguri. Sabin hits the ladder set up by Shelley back-first. Lethal drops a elbow on Sabin as he lays on the ladder. Shelley and Suicide hit the floor by the announce table. Creed and Shelley slug it out on the ring apron. Shelley superkicks Creed, then follows up with a Sliced Bread on the ring apron. Suicide goes after Shelley, who attempts a Sliced Bread on Suicide off the side of the penalty box. Huge booing when Suicide goes to put up the title belt. Lethal pushes over the ladder. Suicide ends up on top of the penalty box with the ladder. Suicide and Creed fight on the top of the penalty box with the ladder planted on Lethal’s back. Shelley sets up another ladder and climbs it, but Suicide leaps off the top of the penalty box and knocks Shelley to the floor. Suicide climbs the ladder and hangs the belt, retaining the X-Division title to smattered applause and lots of boos.
Winner and still X-Division Champion: Suicide
Daniels vs. Shane Douglas (Second Chance match)
Douglas opens by yelling to cut his music and insults Detroit for treating a legend from Pittsburgh so poorly. Daniels enters next. Daniels dominates the opening. Douglas works over Daniels’s arm rather viciously, but Daniels hits the Best Moonsault Ever and scores the pin.
Winner and still on the TNA roster: Daniels
JB interviews Mick Foley in the back. JB doesn’t like Foley’s mathematical chances. Foley says that Jarrett won’t be against him after the bash that he threw him, and in terms of business, the two of them need to be on the same side and keep him champion for as long as possible. Foley will prepare for his next title defense at “Bound for Glory.” That’s “Bound for Glory” 2010, eighteen months from now.
Angelina Love vs. Tara (Knockouts title match)
Tara enters sporting a more MMA-style look. Her new shirt says, “Tara is Rising.” Coolness. Angelina Love enters with Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne, who stay at ringside. Don West’s commentary here is gold! A face-to-face standoff starts things. Tara dominates Love at first. Tara kicks Love through the ropes, and while the referee is checking on Love, Sky and Rayne jump Tara and throw her back in the ring. Love gets a two-count, hits a spinning heel kick, and gets a second two-count. Love distracts the referee again while Rayne and Sky throw Tara into the stairs. Tara is thrown back into the ring, but kicks out at two and a half. Tara’s punches look really stiff. Tara plants Love with a sidewalk slam, but doesn’t go for the cover. She goes to the floor and punches Sky in the face four times. Rayne runs up and gets several blows to the face for her trouble. Tara returns to the ring, only to get sprayed in the eyes with perfume or hair spray. Love pins her for the three-count.
Winner and still Knockouts Champion: Angelina Love
Lauren interviews Dr. Stevie, Raven, and Daffney backstage. Raven cuts a brilliant promo on Lauren and then on Abyss. Trust me, you have to see and hear it for yourself. The group hug with psychotic laughter that ends in what sounds like near-tears is the greatest ending ever.
Abyss & Taylor Wilde vs. Raven & Daffney (mixed tag team “Monster’s Ball” match)
Dr. Stevie, Raven, and Daffney enter first. Don West’s commentary here has to be heard to be believed. He talks about the faction reminding him of his own family and his crazy Uncle Clarence. Taylor and Abyss throw Raven and Daffney into each other. Abyss tosses Taylor over his head and she smashes into Raven and Daffney in the corner. Abyss charges into the corner, but Raven dodges and Abyss squashes Daffney. Taylor goes after Daffney and Abyss hits Raven with a trashcan. Abyss lifts Daffney up in a press slam and launches her over the ropes into Dr. Stevie and Raven. Taylor follows with a flying body press onto the group. Abyss and Raven brawl into the crowd. Daffney jumps on Abyss’s back, but Taylor slams a pair of trash can lids into the sides of Daffney’s head. Taylor and Daffney go at it on the floor, and Raven and Abyss continue brawling into the crowd. Taylor climbs up on top of some speakers and sound equipment and leaps off to splash Daffney through a table. Raven gets a kendo stick and hits Abyss with it. Abyss gets busted open after he pulls out a bag of thumbtacks. Taylor hits Raven with a trashcan lid while he chokes Abyss on the ropes. Daffney takes out Taylor in return. Abyss hits Raven with the kendo stick. Dr. Stevie distracts the referee, but gets knocked down from ringside. Abyss launches Taylor onto Raven, but Dr. Stevie grabs the referee’s leg and stops the count. Abyss pours a bag of tacks out onto the mat. Daffney sneaks up behind Abyss and hits him. Daffney gets caught between Abyss and the tacks, and begs off. Taylor throws Daffney onto the tacks! Taylor goes for the pin, but Dr. Stevie breaks it up. Abyss goes to chokeslam Dr. Stevie onto the tacks, but Raven stops it. Abyss plants Raven with a Black Hole Slam onto the tacks and gets the win.
Winners: Abyss and Taylor Wilde
JB interviews Jeff Jarrett in the locker room. Jarrett has said that he has no desire to be champion again, but he has also said that tonight, he takes his company back. Isn’t that contradictory? Jarrett says no. He doesn’t want the responsibility of being champion because he has enough to do running the company. He will win back the title to stop Mick Foley’s reign of terror and get his company back on track. He will figure out what to do with the World title after he wins it tonight.
Matt Morgan vs. Sting (winner gets spot in the Main Event Mafia)
Morgan overpowers Sting. The reaction for Sting coming out was HUUUGE! Morgan throws Sting into the rail, and they fight on the floor. Morgan throws Sting back into the ring. Sting cuts Morgan off as he tries to get back in the ring. They fight on the floor again, and Sting kicks Morgan in the back of the leg. They get back in the ring, and Sting continues to work over the leg of Morgan. Morgan gets the upper hand and dominates Sting again, slamming himto the mat. Tenay and West talk a great deal about the match between Morgan and Kurt Angle, and the respect that Angle seemed to show Morgan then. Morgan squashes Sting in the corner, hits him with a sidewalk slam, and gets a two-count. Morgan chokes Sting on the ropes, then moves to choke holds on the mat. Sting throws some punches, but they lack power. Sting hits a high-risk jump, but walks into a Carbon Footprint and gets a two-count. Morgan attempts the Hellavator, but Sting gets out of it. Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop on Morgan, but Morgan kicks out at two. Sting applies the Scorpion Death Lock, but Morgan powers out quickly. Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop from the second rope and gets the three-count.
Winner (and still in the Main Event Mafia): Sting
Lauren interviews Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. AJ says that they’re taking the company back and putting it in the hands of the guys who built it. Joe is targeting Angle tonight, and he has already taken out the rest of the Main Event Mafia, one by one. He is hunting, and tonight, he and AJ will become the most powerful force in the history of professional wrestling.
Beer Money vs. Team 3D (Tag Team Championship title match)
Tenay accuses West of spending the previous night in the hotel bar with James Storm doing 12-ounce curls. West says that it was his birthday, and where the hell was Tenay? Awesomeness! Devon and Storm start. Loud chants of “We want tables!” Storm kicks out at two, and Roode tags in. Roode gets a two-count on Devon, and Ray tags in. Ray and Roode exchange punches. Roode goes for two clotheslines that have no effect, ducks one from Ray, and hits a flying forearm on Ray. Ray delivers several stiff open-hand slaps to Roode’s chest. Storm and Devon tag in. Roode crotches Devon on the ring post. Storm punches Devon on the mat. Roode and Storm fake a tag, and Roode and Devon go. Storm legitimately tags in.Team 3D hit the “Wazzup” on Roode. Ray directs the crowd in a huge chant of “Get the tables!” Storm cut off Devon on the floor. Roode and Ray go in the ring. The “Beer Money” salute was pretty loud too. The British Invasion comes down to ringside, to chants of “USA! USA!” The British Invasion sits at the announce table and comments, being quite friendly with Don West and antagonistic to Mike Tenay. Commentary from the British Invasion is great! Rob Terry climbs up on the apron to distract the referee, resulting in Ray climbing to the top rope and landing a flying body press on Terry to the floor! Storm tries to spit beer in the eyes of Team 3D, but misses and blinds Roode by mistake. Team 3D tries to capitalize and hits the 3D on Roode, but Rob Terry has distracted the referee again. Beer Money hits the Drinking While Investing (DWI) and gets the win! Huzzah!
Winners and NEW TNA Tag Team Champions: Beer Money
JB interviews Kurt Angle in an empty locker room. Angle says he’s winning the belt. The Main Event Mafia will resume their position and they will all be celebrating.
World Heavyweight Championship match (King of the Mountain)
Mick Foley vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe
Each competitor got a short video package prior to his entrance. Nice touch. Joe comes out wearing a Detroit Red Wings jersey. Angle comes out wearing a Pittsburgh Pengiuns jersey. Joe attacks Angle before the bell rings to start the match. The two referees announce that because of Joe’s actions, he starts the match in the penalty box, and Angle is eligible to hang the belt. Foley stands on the ladder outside of the ring while Jarrett and AJ work over Angle. Foley pulls Jarrett down on top of himself for a pin. Jarrett is now eligible, and Foley goes to the penalty box. Joe chokes out Foley with the Kokina Clutch, making Joe eligible and sending Foley to the penalty box again. Foley leaves the penalty box and shoves over the ladder that Joe stands on, and Joe lands on the legs of the ladder. Ouch! The entire ladder is bent and twisted. Joe hiptosses Foley into the ladder as Foley charges him. Jarrett tries to stand the ladder up, but it’s useless. Jarrett throws the ladder at Angle on the floor instead. Jarrett gets a new ladder. Jarrett, Angle, and Joe are eligible at this point. Jarrett sets up a ladder and climbs it, but Angle and Foley stop him. AJ stomps Angle and moves the ladder. AJ attempts a tornado DDT, but Angle blocks it and suplexes AJ into the ladder. JArrett tries to hit Angle with his guitar, but Angle blocks it. Angle gets Jarrett in the Angle Lock, but Jarrett uses his free leg to roll out and smashes Angle in the head with the guitar. Jarrett sets up a ladder and climbs it, with Foley coming up the other side. Foley tells Jarrett to give him the belt. Jarrett refuses, and the two exchange punches. AJ flies in, kicking over the ladder and knocking everyone to the mat. It’s Styles and Foley, Joe and Jarrett. Angle is out. Foley climbs up on top of the penalty box. AJ follows him. Foley teases a DDT off the box. Styles teases throwing Foley through the announce table. Foley throws AJ off the box and into the ring. Foley jumps off the box to hit an elbow on Angle. Foley gets a three-count, and Angle goes to the penalty box. Foley is now eligible. AJ is the only one who isn’t. AJ takes his Legends title belt off the announce table, hits Foley in the back with it, and kicks Foley off the ladder. Joe and AJ take turns working over Foley. Joe elevates AJ over the top rope to take out Foley. Jarrett runs into Joe with a ladder. AJ pins Foley on the floor outside. All five guys are now eligible, and Foley is back to the penalty box. AJ and Jarrett climb the ladder. The title belt falls to the mat as Jarrett and AJ exchange punches. Angle attacks Jarrett, who jumps off the ladder to DTT Angle. Joe and AJ fight. Joe climbs the ladder, but AJ grabs his foot and pulls him down. AJ tries to climb the ladder, but Joe stops him. Joe flies through the ropes to take out Jarrett and Foley. AJ tries to hang the belt, but Joe pulls him off and powerbombs him. Joe climbs one side of the belt as Angle climbs the other. Joe hands Angle the belt and Angle hangs it up. Angle wins, through help from Joe! The entirety of the Main Event Mafia comes out on the ramp, cheering as Joe and Angle hug at the top of the ladder.
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
FINAL THOUGHTS: The Joe/Angle thing threw me completely. Peole who think that the opening X-Division title match had no psychology and no story and was a train wreck spotfest are completely wrong. Tenay and West should NOT be talking about how Raven and Abyss “aren’t afraid of dying in the ring” period, and certainly not just after Misawa’s death in the ring. Daffney took the thumbtacks bump! Is there anything NOT amazingly awesome about her? Sting botched his reversal of Morgan’s Hellavator into the Scorpion Death Drop, and while he did get it back shortly, this should be kept in mind while he talks (yet again) about retiring this year. It’s understood that veterans often say that to gain concessions from the company in contract negotiations. One botched move at a ppv doesn’t mean that a person should be fired, but would that be acceptable for, say, Alex Shelley? Look, if Sting can’t go anymore, he can’t go anymore. Why the hell can’t Team 3D just lose? Honestly, do there have to be so many reasons set up as to why they lost the belts? Title defense in Japan, jet lag, just got to the building with no rest, cheating tactics of Beer Money, involvement of the British Invasion, enough! If anyone can win on a given night, just have a clean loss, already!
This was a very solid ppv, and if the usual TNA bashing occurs tomorrow, it certainly won’t be because the show was awful. I paid for this show, and the opening match alone was well worth the money. Of four championship title matches, the first two saw the champions retain and the second two saw new champions crowned. There will certainly be a great deal of fall-out from all seven matches that could go in a number of interesting directions. Next week’s “Impact” should be something good. Check back with us next Thursday night/Friday for all your TNA “Impact” needs!
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
TNA’s decision not to renew the contracts of Petey Williams, Jimmy Rave, and Lance Hoyt is just the beginning. More talent cuts are said to be forthcoming, and the supposed logic behind TNA’s non-renewals really brings to mind the saying, “There are none so blind as those who cannot see.” It isn’t releasing talent, we’re told, it’s just not renewing their contracts when they expire. This is semantics. Isn’t the end result the same? TNA wants to pump some new life into the undercard of their roster, and bring in new people. With a finite number of spaces and limited resources, someone has to go in order for this to be possible. Okay.
—————————X—————————–
And we’re off!
In the words of my esteemed colleague,
_________________X___________________ !!!
Yes, it’s late. Don’t pretend you’re disappointed.
Find a line and cross it, peoples!
Match #1: Alex Shelley defeats Eric Young: Be still, my heart! We actually open with a match, and a match that was the best of the night on paper, at that! This means it’s Alex Shelley versus Chris Sabin for the X-Division title at “Genesis,” which is proof that God exists, and wants us to be happy (thanks, Ben Franklin!). However, note the use of the words “on paper.” Why? This was the semi-finals match of the tournament to crown a new X-Division champion. After the Main Event Mafia/Front Line story, this should be the most important thing going. The announce team should be making this out to be a tremendously important thing. Video packages of past X-Division glory should air, along with each of the competitors talking about why the title is so important and how much they want to win it. None of this happened. A match of this magnitude went less than five minutes, and was nowhere near as good as it should have been. Shelley and Young did what they could, but there was no reason to rush this match. Back when this sort of thing mattered, and TNA had something going for it, there was a match between Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin to determine the third man in a three-way Ultimate X match for the X-Division title at the pay-per-view that weekend. That match was given a full fifteen minutes, and the announcers made it sound like this one qualifying match was the most important thing in the company. I have yet to think of a good reason that the same treatment was not given to ANY of the X-Division tournament matches this time. Not one of the tournament matches went much over five minutes, and for what? The two-hour program featured what else, exactly? All the same, just watch TNA blame the X-Division and the guys in it for not getting over, not getting rating and buy rates, and so on. Grrrrrrrrrr!
After the match ended, referee Shane Sewell was again attacked by Sheik Abdul Bashir, prompting an in-ring confrontation. Jim Cornette came out and fired Sewell as a referee, much to the dismay of the audience. Cornette then turned on the gloating Bashir, announcing that Sewell was fired for three days, and would be hired as a wrestler beginning Sunday at “Genesis,” where he would have a grudge match against Bashir.
To the ring! Main Event Mafia promo time. They all talk. Why?
To the back! Borash asks Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley how they intend to survive the Main Event Mafia onslaught. Brother Devon and AJ Styles come in, and inform them that they have their backs. Nice moment when Devon gives Foley Brother Ray’s red flannel shirt and says that “he would want you to have this.”
To the farm! No, really. Today’s embarrassingly untimely Sarah Palin skit has been brought to you by “The Simple Life.” Has anyone told the writers how long that show has been around?
Match #2: Awesome Kong defeats Madison Rayne: The latest hottie debut and squash. As much as I like the term “Kongtourage,” it cheapens Kong by having a big group around her. She’s been so dominant that she’s proven that she doesn’t need them. If she has to have Raisha Saeed, so be it, but the others need to go, and find their own thing.
To the back! Lauren interviews Abyss. It’s bad. It’s really bad. Please stop the pain. Abyss is upset because his best friend Matt Morgan is still mad at him. He thinks that Lauren is his girlfriend, and hopes that she isn’t mad at him too, because he just couldn’t take it. You know what, Abyss, neither can I.
Tenay and West run down the card for “Genesis.”
To the back! JB asks the Motor City Machine Guns whether they are concerned that the X-Division title match between them will cause problems in their friendship and their tag team. Chris Sabin went into sarcastic mode, informing JB that it was “an interesting, intriguing, insightful question.” Alex Shelley pointed out that the best things come in pairs, not the least of which was Mick Foley and poor hygiene. Shelley gets bonus points for referring to Foley as Duke “the Dumpster” Droese. Shelley goes on to say that the bond they share is unbreakable, and is bigger than JB, the X-Division title, or TNA. Foley steps in, and tells the Guns that he knows that they have the ability to steal the show, but they also have the ability to completely stink up the pay-per-view and ruin his show, which he literally cannot afford. If they blow off the match and try to lay down for one another, or anything else of that nature, Foley will give them one-way bus tickets back to Detroit, and they will never get another X-Division title shot again. Whoa, time out! Two things. Thing the first. While it’s totally true that having the Guns put over the X-Division title as something important that they both really want would have been helpful, TNA hasn’t made it look like it’s really worth having already. Thing the second. Why is Foley so mad? What has Alex Shelley or Chris Sabin ever said or done that would imply that they weren’t going to have an awesome match, or that they would deliberately pull something? All they ever said was that the two of them would be in the finals. If anything, two guys with the egos that they have been portrayed to have would go out of their way to show up the rest of the roster and prove how much better they are in the ring than everyone else. The point has been made for the past several weeks in these reviews that without promo or segment time being given to these subplots, things that happen like this seem random and disjointed. There’s really no excuse for it.
“Rough Cuts” time! We get another endearing and babyface-ish segment for Beer Money. Honestly, if you’re turning them face, you have to do it on the actual show and in the ring, not just with these segments. It’s confusing to see this stuff, then watch the same guys wrestle a completely heel match immediately afterward.
Match #3: Matt Morgan (with Abyss) defeats Robert Roode (with James Storm and Jacqueline): This match actually ended with ref stoppage. Morgan doesn’t seem to want Abyss around, and if he turns on Abyss, it may be hard to boo him. The match was stopped by the referee because of Robert Roode’s knee injury. Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal (still in full “Macho Man” mode) come out and watch, then announce that they will be cashing in their Feast or Fired tag team title shot right now. Did it ever get explained that cashing the title shots in at any time was allowed? I don’t recall ever hearing that part. I know that it worked for CM Punk, but cashing in a title shot when one of your opponents is practically incapacitated is a pretty heelish thing to do. Creed and Lethal don’t have much of a reason to do it.
Match #4: Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal defeat Beer Money, Inc. for the Tag Team titles: The match itself wasn’t bad, but it was essentially a handicap match. It took Creed, Lethal, and hitting Storm with the briefcase for the new babyface champs to get the win. They really looked weak.
To the back! The Front Line celebrates the tag team title win in the locker room. I wanted to be excited about it, but it was not clicking for me.
Tenay and West run down the “Genesis” card again, announcing that the tag team title match is now a 3-way match due to the title change.
To the back! BG James is an emotional mess as he tells Jeff Jarrett why he has to get in the ring with Kurt Angle. Some people thought it was ridiculously over the top, but I think it worked rather well.
To the farm! More fake Palin. Damn my eyes!
Match #5: Kurt Angle defeats BG James: The match wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. Afterwards, the Main Event Mafia hits the ring and destroys BG James in a similar fashion as they did to Samoa Joe. Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett run down, and the MEM bails. We go to commercial.
When we return, Jarrett loses control and shouts about what he’s going to do to Angle on Sunday. Foley calms him down and speaks about being ashamed of his inaction in regard to the doings of the MEM. HE admits that he is older and slower and isn’t the man he used to be, but that he is the Hardcore Legend, and he’ll be drawing strength from Brother Devon and AJ Styles in their match. “I may not be as good as I once was, but for one night I will be as good as I ever was!” Great line. A video package running down the “Genesis” card closes the show. I have promoted high school plays that I directed better than TNA promotes their pay-per-views.
“Genesis” Predictions
Rhino vs. Sting (World Heavyweight Championship): Sting retains. Is there really any doubt?
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle: This could go either way, but if Angle wins, the story is over. I don’t think they’re done yet, so I pick Jarrett to win.
Mick Foley, AJ Styles & Brother Devon vs. Booker T, Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner: If Angle loses, the MEM wins here. Foley will probably be taking the pin, or possibly even turning on his team here and costing them the match. After all, we wouldn’t be expecting it after his strong ending promo on “Impact,” now, would we?
Beer Money vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan vs. Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed (Tag Team Championship): Lethal and Creed retain. I don’t want it to happen, but it probably will. The new champs have to retain, or the entire Feast or Fired deal is wasted. Granted, most people hate it anyway, but if TNA is going to keep doing it, they have to make it matter. There’s also the built-in tag team title feud between Lethal and the Guns stemming from the Feast or Fired match, if we can ever get to that point.
Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley (X-Division Championship finals): Alex Shelley wins. As much as I would love for the future Mr. Drowgoddess to have a title belt, Shelley has been the one at the forefront, and his having the belt will allow the Shelley/Foley friction to escalate. Also, the Guns were not booked to go on the European tour that’s coming up, and Alex Shelley by himself was added to be on it just recently. I think that means that the X-Division champion has to be included on the tour. It should easily be the match of the night, and I just pray to every form of divinity ever devised by the minds of men that this match doesn’t signal the break-up of the tag team. If it does, the whole universe is going to die. (Anyone seen that video?)
? vs. Awesome Kong (Knockout Championship – Lumberjack Match): If it’s true that Christy Hemme won’t be in the match due to a neck injury, and won’t be showing up during the match to get involved, interesting possibilities are raised. If Gail Kim hadn’t signed with WWE, this would be the best surprise ever for her to return unannounced and face Kong for the title. I hope they didn’t introduce Madison Rayne on “Impact” just to put her in the title match at the pay-per-view with no build-up. Roxxi or ODB would be good, but they’ve been beaten by Kong to many times. Angelina Love would be good, but she’s a heel and otherwise occupied with stupid skits. Please don’t let it be Taylor Wilde. In any case, Kong retains unless it’s someone truly exceptional.
Shane Sewell vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir (Grudge Match): Sewell to win. He’s endured to much from Bashir with too little payback, and if he does win, Bashir can whine and threaten and make excuses.
Check back on Monday or Tuesday for a review of “Genesis.” Yes, I’m getting it. Like you had to ask.
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
Yes, it has a name now.
It’s that time of the week, so find the nearest line and cross it!
Woo hoo! We open with a wrestling match! Yaay! Oh. It’s Lance Rock versus Rhino. Less yaay.