Welcome to another week of this here articlecast here and after 3 years I’m quite amazed to sill be here and doing this since in my younger years I would’ve given this up by now. But I can happily say that I’m glad to be here and going (somewhat) strong. so without further ado lets get this show on the road: (more…)
What? Me again? That’s right folks, it’s the Alpha BoredWrestlingFan, ThinkSoJoE here with you for a third straight week of RAW gimmickry! I don’t mind a gimmick show every now and then, but three weeks in a row? Last week we found out that CM Punk is leaving the company after the Money In The Bank Pay Per View, and he’s got a WWE Championship match that very same night. Also, the voting got screwed up during the Power to the People RAW, and tonight we’ll see Sin Cara take on Evan Bourne because of it. All this, and Shawn Michaels, tonight on RAW!
Last night was Hell in a Cell! Did John Cena join Nexus? Is Randy Orton still the WWE Champion? Was Daniel Bryan brutally mu-… I’ll leave that one to myself. Find out tonight, as Jackass star, Johnny Knoxville guest stars what is sure to be another amazing Monday Night RAW!
Nexus comes out and talks about their victory at Hell in a Cell. Barrett says the two men who helped were Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, which didn’t surprise anyone. Barrett says he doesn’t know them and they aren’t a part of the Nexus. Barrett then scolds Nexus for going down to the ring and potentially causing him his match. Tonight’s about inducting Cena into Nexus. Please welcome, the newest member of Nexus, John Cena.
He comes out with no music, which is just heartbreaking, to be honest. I’m upset. I wanted to make a joke.
Tarver says the joke is on Cena, because he failed. They have a gift for Cena: The Nexus armband. Cena looks at the arm band and puts it on. Slater says they know the transition’s going to be difficult, but they’re all there for him. The public wants to know exactly what his thoughts are. He says that he will read the official statement they made instead of saying what he wants to. Barrett says it’s not negotiable, and he’ll read it and read it now.
It essentially says that he acknowledges that he’s a member of Nexus, and an enemy of Nexus is an enemy of his. Barrett says that Cena has to participate in a tag match with a partner of his choice against Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. Cena picks Tarver.
Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. John Cena and Michael Tarver
Cena starts off the match with an offer to shake Bourne’s hand, and they do. Tarver’s pissed about it, but Cena doesn’t look like he cares. Cena then tags in Tarver and climbs out.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar HEY! Where’s your Nexus Shirt Cena?! There’s a dress code damn it! Put it on!
@seraphalexiel I hope both men don’t suddenly get to join. The end of Season 2 was a failure for a reason, and it begins and ends with McGuillicutty
@Niki_Sushi Awwww. His own wittle armband. Are they slowly going to give him different parts to the ‘uniform’ or what? #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes Geez, Cena sure likes to pick on the black Nexus guys. Wasn’t content with getting rid of your brother, now he’s going for Tarver. LOL #wwe
@CawCawBang Cena got something planned I don’t like it
@TKeep123 I wonder if Cena gave any secret signals while he was forced to read his (confession) speech. (Viet Nam era folks will get it.) #WWE #RAW
We come back to Tarver getting his ass handed to him by Henry. Cena really doesn’t seem interested in helping Tarver at all, to be honest, even mockingly reaching for a tag. Tarver manages to get toward Cena for a tag, but Cena leans away, and Henry seems amused by it, toying with Tarver. Tarver goes to tag Cena again, but Cena jumps down off the ring and begins signing signs in the crowd. Henry picks up Tarver and hits him with the World’s Strongest Slam.
Mark Henry and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.
Cena takes a mic after the match and says that he’s gonna make his own statement. As the newest member of Nexus, he plans on doing one thing and one thing only: destroying it from within. Like no one expected that. Tonight, he proves that you can be Nexus and against us. He hits Tarver in the head with the mic, and then body slams Tarver onto the steel steps. Twice. Then he gets Tarver back in the ring and locks in the STF.
“The terms of the stipulation for your match with Wade Barrett stated that if you lost, you must join the Nexus. Now, Nexus is clearly a group that takes direction from its leader, Wade Barrett. And thus as a member of the group, John, you must also take direction from Wade Barrett. If you don’t, as much as I would hate to do it, as much as it would be bad for business, as much as the WWE Universe would despise it, I would have no alternative but to terminate your WWE contract. Mr. Cena, no one man, despite his popularity, is bigger than WWE. In other words, Mr. Cena, I will fire you.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@FrankWWEClown And who says Cena is boring, and not interesting? Are you watching this?! #WWE #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar Cena’s looking at this all wrong. The Nexus have a great benefits package. Family picnics, BBQs, and other fun Nexus activities.
@HitTheRopes We CLEARLY see Michael Cole reading from a paper and NOT the computer screen. #fail #wwe
@TKeep123 For months we can’t keep #NEXUS away from the ring, and now Tarver gets a beat-down and NO NEXUS to be found? #WWE #RAW
@Niki_Sushi Tarver is in Soul Sucking Position! YOU BETTA HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE! #BWF #RAW
@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay. Say what you want marks but John Cena has the best fans. So devoted. I actually love that they chanted ‘Never Give Up’ #WWE
Alicia Fox vs Natalya
No warning on this one at all, but good to see Natalya in the ring. Natalya hits the sharpshooter pretty quick, and Alicia taps. Great 30 second match.
Natalya wins via submission.
WTF? 30 second match, 30 second reminder of the guest star, Johnny Knoxville, and now five minutes of commercials.
<COMMERCIAL>
@RingsideRants That wasn’t even long enough for a bathroom break!
@CawCawBang wow that was quick
@kickoutblog My thoughts on Natalya vs. Alicia are longer than the actual match
@redsandman99 The good news is, Nattie won. The bad news is, the match was over in five seconds
@JoeyStyles What a match for Nattie…and I thought I finished fast.
Knoxville is talking with Gail and Melina, promoting Jackass 3D. Zack Ryder comes up, and Knox calls him a tool. He offers Ryder a high-five, only for him to get the shit smacked out of him by a giant hand. Knox mocks him a little.
Cena’s backstage with the Nexus armband again, and Josh Matthews comes up, asking what he’s gonna do. Cena says he doesn’t know. Cena suddenly takes off running after Husky and McGuillicutty, and Barrett says that there’s a lot he needs to talk about, concerning his future.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 FIRST time I was ever happy to see Zack Ryder during a Promo! “You know it!”…. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville just wtfpwn’d Zack Ryder without even getting in the ring. I DEMAND WEE-MAN VS HORNSWOGGLE DAMMIT!!!! #BWF #RAW
@legendkiller515 damn zach ryder got his ass kicked and he aint even in a match #wwe #bwf #raw
Daniel Bryan is in the ring with his crazy ass music. God, I wanna punch him.
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head! … Too many limes, too many limes!
United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
Sheamus beat the shit out of Bryan. Not even kidding.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via disqualification.
I think. Sheamus hits the High Cross on Daniel after beating the hell out of him. Sheamus climbs out of the ring and starts back up the ring. Dear, God. Was RAW booking only Nexus and Cena tonight? This is ridiculous.
Anyway, Edge makes his way to the ring to supposedly apologize to the computer.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Oh. Damn. Forgot this fruit existed. Daniel Bryan, go awa-nevermind. GO SHEAMUS GO! #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Oh God, it’s the battle of wrestlers who don’t tan!
@KeepItFiveStar Did Daniel Bryan fail a Wellness test or something? Did he piss the Vegan police off? That was weird.
@Niki_Sushi OMFG! Who put a wrestling match in my commercials?! #BWF #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar “And THAT’s for fulfilling your indy dates while under contract!” – Sheamus after destroying Daniel Bryan
@TKeep123 Diva match… 90 seconds. Sheamus / Bryan 120 seconds… WTH? #WWE #RAW
And a Video Package of what we just saw, like fifteen seconds ago. Jesus Christ, RAW. I get that Cena joining Nexus is a big deal, but there are other Superstars…
Oh, God, Michael Cole’s in the ring. He’s now going to speak for the General Manager. I guess Stephen Hawking got pissed at the WWE for using his voice. Supposedly, it’s because of the events of the last few weeks, and will now communicate via email. So, the GM hates us all, is what I’m getting.
Awesome.
Before Edge comes out, the GM wants us to see the hilarious, I’m sorry, horrific events of last week.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Edge WTFPWNS the GM.>
The destruction of the GM last week was unacceptable. Two things are going to happen: Edge is “going to apologize”, and the GM will make a huge announcement regarding the WWE Championship.
You think you know me…
Edge, of course, says he won’t apologize. He’s on a personal crusade against all things stupid, and around here, there are a lot of things that are stupid. Michael Cole has been the personification of stupid since 1997. He’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole. And if the GM thinks he has attitude, then when Edge becomes WWE Champion, then he’ll see attitude. The GM says that tonight they will decide the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship in a 20-Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royale. Don’t expect me to keep up with that. The winner will face Randy Orton at Bragging Rights. Edge, however, has disrespected the GM one too many times, and won’t be in the battle royal tonight, because the GM has officially traded him to Smackdown.
Edge says it’s the greatest night of his career, because he now doesn’t have to listen to a computer, or this tool say, “And I Quote.” Cole flips out, and everyone boos him. Yeah, good job Cole. Cole says that now that he’s the official voice of the WWE, Edge needs to treat him with respect. Edge asks if he went off RAW after spearing Cole into next week would be respectful.
AWESOME
The Miz and Alex Riley make their way down to the ring. Miz says that Edge will do no such thing. Cole is a visionary, the one person that realized Miz’ awesomeness before anyone else. Cole leaves the ring, tripping. Miz tells him to go back to the announce table. Edge calls Miz an Edge-wannabe. Edge then goes through the checklist of Edge. Miz says that that was an interesting analysis, but they’re nothing alike. Edge says that he’s right, because Edge has been WWE Champion, and has been married, divorced, had a live celebration. He hasn’t even seen Miz talk to a woman, unless you count Alex Riley. Riley says that whether Edge likes it or not, Miz is the future of the WWE. Edge says that Miz is awesome at tapping out to Daniel Bryan.
Miz says that if Edge is trying to agitate Miz, it’s not working. Miz is either going to be competing in a WWE Championship match, or leading RAW into decimating Smackdown. So, why doesn’t Edge go to SyFy and tell all his new Smackdown buddies that he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.
Edge then attacks Miz and Alex Riley, Spearing Alex Riley, only to get a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz.
Cena backstage with Nexus, and Barrett says that Cena did him a favor in attacking Tarver. He wants Cena to help him with tonight’s battle royal. Cena asks what happens if he wins, and Barrett says that he’s ordering Cena to help him win. Otunga sticks his foot in his mouth and gets berated for it, and then tells Cena to either do as he’s told or get fired.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Michael Cole has to stand on a box to be seen? #WWE #RAW #BWF
@seraphalexiel Fool. Hide yo paper, at least.
@TKeep123 “I’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole!” – Edge #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi That’s….. three or four laptops now? I seriously hope that’s included in the budget… I don’t think Nextel makes laptops. #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes Hey Otunga, know your role and shut your mouth. #wwe
@bethsharae I love Edge’s crusade. I shall join him. I now destroy all things stupid. #Raw #WWE
Oh, fuck me running… It’s the Bellas.
Nikki and Brie Bella vs. The Unified Divas Champions LayCool
Jesus Christ, someone put a mic on LayCool. My head hurts bad enough right now… I have no idea what the fuck is going on, okay? I don’t even care anymore. Oh, and there goes the Switcheroo again. Someone kill me. Seriously.
Nikki and Brie Bella win via the same old shit… er, pinfall.
Maryse is backstage, talking to Knox. He says that he doesn’t speak Spanish, and she accuses him of sending the messages. Ted then walks up and accuses him too, and Ted walks right into the huge hand. Maryse throws her shoes at Knox, and then Maryse is hit by the hand and lands right on top of Ted. Knox is apologizing repeatedly, and then runs away from a very pissed looking Ted.
<COMEMRCIAL>
@StrikerSays Are you serious. You just put the BELLAS over your champion. What is this fuckery.
@KeepItFiveStar This match is already longer than Natalya vs Alicia Fox
@ThingsColeSays They have found a way to make LayCool ever more annoying. Well done.
@inkincisions WHAT IS UP WITH DIVAS AND THROWING SHOES ?!?!?!?!?!
@divadirt LMAO! Maryse continues the shoe-throwing trend only to get hit by a giant hand. There’s a very un-PG joke in there somewhere. #WWE
@legendkiller515 that big ass hand is funny #wwe #raw #bwf
<VIDEO PACKAGE: R-Truth and Eve Torres defeat Maryse and Ted DiBiase two weeks ago; the secret admirer messages start.>
Please welcome the guest star of RAW, Johnny Knoxville. Oh, Jackass 3D is in theaters October 15th. Yes, let’s put Knoxville in the ring. Because that went so well last time.
Knoxville’s talking really fast, is obviously freaked out by DiBiase coming after him, and tries to leave before he does. Too bad, because he’s here…
Knox says that he was just trying to make Maryse laugh, like Ted does… And proceeds to make a fool out of himself. Then smacks the taste out of Knox’s mouth. Then, it looks like he’s trying for Dreamstreet, but Knox just lays there like a limp noodle. Another message comes over the tron: You are mine. Goldust attacks DiBiase, and Maryse just stands there.
Goldust then tells DiBiase he doesn’t want him, obviously, and walks over to Maryse, who seems to be trying hard not to laugh. He does, however, say that he doesn’t want Maryse. What he wants, is the Million Dollar Belt. Only Goldust would send love notes to a belt. Seriously.
Next up: The 20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal.
Here are all the guys I think I saw. I’ll fix it as I can:
John Cena, Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz, William Regal, David Otunga, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Zack Ryder. That’s all I managed to catch, but I’ll do the best I can.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes It’s amazing how great Raw started and where we are now. #wwe
@kickoutblog OMG IT IS GOLDUST! HE WANTS THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE!
@ThingsColeSays Hey Johnny, there’s a new joke going around have you heard it? What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAPPPPPPPPPP!
@StrikerSays So happy for the return of BIZARRE Goldie. He had dialed down to just “odd.”
<VIDEO PACKAGE: WWE Superstars and Make A Wish.>
King and Cole remind us that a shitload of stuff has happened… if you’ve been watching, you know. If not, scroll up. I’m tired of repeating the same shit.
And Cena’s backstage, brooding over the arm band. Otunga walks up and says that he knows he’s upset. He wants to tell Cena that Nexus isn’t all bad. Barrett is a bit demanding sometimes, but deep down, they can make it work. Cena may feel like this is the end, but it’s not. If Cena ever needs to talk, Otunga’s there for him. Just let him know.
Cole opens his mouth and reminds us of what we’ve already seen. It’s okay, Cole. I have the memory of a goldfish. Thanks a bunch, man.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho last week.>
Twenty Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal
Fuck keeping up with this, so here’s who in the damn match. I’ll just tell you who wins, because it’s easier.
Participants: John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, David Otunga, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Darren Young, and Primo.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar CENA! WHERE’S YOUR SHIRT! You had time!
@bethsharae …. Truth doesn’t get to sing anymore?! HELL YES!!! #Raw #WWE
@HitTheRopes Otunga, don’t you pay attention!? Darren Young, Michael Tarver. What do they AND you have in common? Stay far from Cena. LOLZ #wwe
@legendkiller515 once again no one understands what the hell r-truth is saying in his damn songs #wwe #raw #bwf
Found all the damn contestants. I don’t know what’s going on… Don’t make me figure it all out. Cena eliminated Otunga, and now Barrett yells at him for it. Nexus just argues in the middle of the ring, and no one is aware of it, apparently. God, idiocy.
<COMEMRCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Why is Mark Henry asking why? Did he not see the first 10 minutes of the show?
@HitTheRopes I always wish for something unexpected like Santino to win something like this. #wwe
@kickoutblog Why the hell is Darren Young in this match?
@Niki_Sushi I look up to see Nexus, and totally went ‘GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!’ #BWF #RAW
@legendkiller515 this is the oddest collection of #raw superstars for a battle royal ive ever seen. most of them dont belong in this match #wwe #bwf
I don’t’ know what I’m supposed to say. The outcome was obvious.
Wade Barrett wins.
But, cutting his victory celebration short is none other than the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, who makes his way right up to the ring and right inside, like Barrett ain’t nothing. Which, he probably isn’t. Insert epic staredown, Randy holding up the title, and thus, RAW ends.
Proud of myself for getting this finished for you all tonight, even with a headache and some weird ass dizziness. Anyway, until next week!
I didn’t post this last night because I really wasn’t that excited about RAW. Anyway, I won’t be posting on next week until Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. I’m not going to be watching RAW. I’m joining my mother and grandmother to go see a show. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s the review!
The Main Event is Cena & Bret Hart vs Jericho & Edge with Nexus as Lumerjacks!
Bret Hart comes out in a Batman shirt and says that he’s upset that Jericho and Edge left and talks about Team WWE. He asks Jericho and Edge to join him in the ring, and says that if Nexus wins at SummerSlam, then everyone loses. Jericho makes his way to the ring, and Bret asks him to rejoin Team WWE, because this is Jericho’s time to make things right. Jericho still refuses, and tells Bret that Bret’s worried about losing tonight, and is frightened. Once again, Bret is screwed. Chris doesn’t want to team with either Cena or Bret, he just wants to dismantle Bret.
You think you know me…
Edge comes out and asks Jericho what’s wrong with him, they grew up idolizing him. Edge says he’s in, goes to attack Hart, Hart goes for Sharpshooter, Jericho pokes him in the eye. Jericho and Edge make their way out of the ring, and Natalya joins Bret in the ring. Nexus is backstage beating up Tyson and David Hart Smith. Wade says it’s not Bret’s day. Bret and Nat leave the rign and run backstage.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar “That’s what you get for not being a Hart, Tyson!” – Nexus
@dasharpshooters Michael Keaton looks like shit. #wwe #raw #bwf
@Niki_Sushi I want Bret to say ‘nut up or shut up’ so Chris can shove the mic in his mouth. #BWF
Medics are backstage with Hart Dynasty, Bret says he’s going to take things under his own hands. Cena stops him and tells him to stay with his family.
AWESOME!!!
United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank The Miz vs Evan Bourne
Miz wins with a Skull Crushing Finale, but Evan had some great offense going, and a pretty sweet looking hurricanrana.
United States Champion The Miz wins via pinfall!
Miz gets mic and says he doesn’t care who has the WWE Championship after SummerSlam, when he’s ready to cash in, he will be the WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s AWESOME. Backstage, Cena is talking to Khali backstage.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Yeah, The Miz just murdered Evan Bourne.
@_MFS_ Bourne does shit like that and yet they still make him job… #WWE #RAW #BWF
@JCenadotcom Cole talking about The Miz requires me to mute the channel…
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Melina’s return.>
Melina vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox
Not a horrible match, but I wasn’t all that impressed.
Melina wins via pinfall.
Khali is backstage with Josh and says that Ranjin Singh’s not here. Josh asks is Khali with WWE or Nexus? Khali says WWE, then jacks the mic and grumbles and mumbles a lot. He then challenges Wade Barrett to a match, said Josh… thankfully
<COMMERCIAL>
@RAWMysteryGM I know what Khali said and he will be punished accordingly for that outburst #WWE #bwf
@ KeepItFiveStar So The Great Khali vs. Glade Berry…?
@ _MFS_ what the fuck was that move supposed to be Alicia cause it looked like absolute shit #WWE #RAW #BWF
@redsandman99 I’m hoping that since Melina won tonight, Alicia wins at Summerslam. I love Melina but there should be proper feud for the title.
@dasharpshooters Dammit Khali you have been in this company for like 4 years and you cant speak english? #wwe #raw #BWF
As a result of Melina’s victory, Alicia will defend against Melina at SummerSlam.
Later tonight, Eve & Gail v Bellas v Maryse and Jillain in some bathing suit match thing, and Sheamus has called out Orton.
Chris Jericho and Edge are backstage complaining about Bret. They say if Nexus loses, it’s because they’re not on Team WWE, and they may have bitten off more than they can chew. Edge says they’ll survive whatever Nexus does, and Jericho says they’re architects and they make things happen. If they take out Cena and Hart, there’s no SummerSlam match, and they’re in the clear.
JoMo and R-Truth talking backstage. They say they got each other’s backs, but they need to find a replacement.
Mark Henry comes up and hears them say they need replacements, they just need him instead of two replacements, and to consider this match his audition. Nexus is watching on a big TV, and Wade nods to them. Everyone but Barrett leaves Nexus locker room.
<COMMERCIAL>
@YourBoyDrew Tweets are being swallowed, it’s like the Bella Twins, are operating twitter for me
@iwcmvp WWEShop.com has an interesting new item. For $35 Michael Tarver will come to your house and make you crap your pants in fear #WWE #RAW #BWF
Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Mark Henry
Henry’s attacked by Nexus before anything can happen.
Sheamus makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Every week, we should place bets to see how long Mark Henry lasts before he gets his ass beat
@JCenadotcom Henry failed the audition then…
@Niki_Sushi Nexus is doin’ drive-by’s now!
@Bruce412 RIP Mark Henry #TeamNexus #WWE #bwf
@dasharpshooters Wait a minute there was a guy walking next to Maryse? I didnt notice. #wwe #Raw #bwf
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Randy Orton def. United States Champion The Miz>
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus to the ring. Mark Henry’s still trying to make it up the ramp, that fatass. Anyway, Sheamus says Randy is talking out his arse, and shows a video package of how he’s not afraid of Randy Orton.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus’ destruction>
Who thinks he’s afraid of Orton? Everyone. Sheamus says he’s afraid of no one (except Nexus… <.<; ) and that he wants to call out Orton. Randy comes out and interrupts him. Orton has something to say first – Sheamus didn’t get in the ring because he was afraid last week. Sheamus blew an opportunity last week, and he’ll do the same at SummerSlam. Sheamus can do whatever he wants, but fact is Sheamus has never beaten Orton. Orton says he’s not Triple H or Cena. Sheamus says he’s not the WWE Champion either, and he won’t be after SummerSlam, and when he beats Orton, Orton will go back to the end of the line, and Orton’ll never get another title chance. Orton says he will beat Sheamus because Sheamus has never beaten Orton, but if Sheamus wants to redeem himself for not attacking last week, Orton says do something about it.
Sheamus, your title matches in the past have been marred with outside interference. Therefore, if anyone interferes in the WWE Champ match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely. Furthermore, I agree with Sheamus. If Randy loses at SummerSlam, there will be no rematch, and he will go back to the end of the line. However, I also agree with Orton. If Sheamus is not scared, then I encourage him to do something about it, right now.
Sheamus goes to walk away, goes to attack Orton, stops, then walks away. Orton attacks instead, Sheamus runs the title into Orton’s face. Sheamus goes for boot, Orton dodges, and delivers a backbreaker to Sheamus. Sheamus is down, Randy backs up, then goes for a punt, but stops short. Sheamus is freaked. Orton rolls out and picks up the Championship
<COMMERCIAL>
@iwcmvp “What the hell, why is that jar of Mayo doing with the WWE title?, MMMMMMM Mayo” – Mark Henry #WWE #BWF
@dasharpshooters Mystery GM should get 2 minutes in the penalty box for instigating. #wwe #raw #bwf
@TheViperRKO951 I think Sheamus just craped himself #RAW
@SinisterAsh What will happen if the GM gets a virus?
@Niki_Sushi One day, the lights will blink and the power won’t come back on.
@KeepItFiveStar “IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!”
@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!
Sheamus is still outside the ring, very pissed off. The Season Two NXT Rookies are in action, and I don’t care.
Three NXT Rookies vs Three NXT Rookies
Uh… The fat one won. O.o Husky Harris.
NXT Rookies win via squishing pinfall.
Sheamus attacks Rookies afterward, hitting the High Cross on Kaval. He then takes a mic and says that it was a message to the GM and Orton, and he promises to still be the WWE Champion next week.
Truth and Morrison make their way to the ring
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Hey you know when this would be a good idea? Tomorrow night on NXT, but I guess we have kegs to carry and fat people to kiss then.
@kickoutblog Sheamus just did to NXT what I wish I could do to whoever is booking this show
@bojeeB Kool Aid man has died, Miracle Whip has lost his cool….
R-Truth and John Morrison vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
I don’t know what happened… I was tweeting.
R-Truth and John Morrison win via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@wnwdotcom: Big win? They squashed two of the most irrelevant workers on the Raw roster!
@ThingsColeSays Since they couldn’t get Will Ferrall, the Bellas walk to the ring with their giant dildos. They will get off one way or another!
@KeepItFiveStar The fans don’t like you R-Truth. They like rap beats and being asked questions.
@iwcmvp Was I the only one who thought that red haired woman in the audience during Truth’s entrance was Heath Slater? #WWE #BWF
@RAWMysteryGM Coming up next The Bikini Contest, featuring surprise entrant Mae Young. Get the lotion ready folks, there will be some tuggin going on #BWF
Nikki and Brie Bella vs Eve Torres and Gail Kim vs Maryse and Jillian Hall
Don’t know, don’t care what happened here. Point is, they were all in bathing suits, and that is the only reason that this was even on. The entrance with the slide was dumb, and Santino and Vladimir couldn’t even save this… Okay, Santino did. I love that guy.
The Bellas win via crap ring work.
Tamina corners, so to speak, Santino, and then let’s him go, but slaps his ass as he walks by. Santion acts kind of embarrassed.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Monty loses to Big Boss Man at SummerSlam>
Khali on his way to ring, but is attacked by Nexus. Everyone saw this coming.
<COMMERCIAL>
@dasharpshooters Whats up with the PG swim wear? Fucking Lame #wwe #raw #bwf
@iwcmvp Santino and Kozlov look like human bottles of ketchup and mustard #WWE #RAW #BWF
@SinisterAsh Bella Twins winning matches make me want to punch a dry wall
@bethsharae Does this mean Khali is out too? I’m crossing my fingers… #Raw
@kickoutblog Weird how those two second backstage assaults are so much more devastating than an actual wrestling match. >_>
@TKeep123 Tamina wants a big old slice of Santino pie! Sweet! Must be the Uni-brow! Beware the Cobra! #WWE #RAW #BWF
Wade says that he was just informed that there will be no Khali vs Barrett match. Nexus will write a new chapter in the WWE after SummerSlam, and after they win at SummerSlam, the balance of power will shift dramatically and permanently. Nexus will beat Team WWE. Skip says they’re going to break Team WWE physically and mentally. Otunga says if anyone in the locker room is considering joining Team WWE, think about what they’ve done tonight, because you’re either Nexus or you’re against us.
Bret and Cena make their way to the ring and Miz comes up. Miz says their team’s in trouble, and they need help. He figures it was just a matter of time before they went looking for him, and he says he wants to hear them ask him to join their team. Bret says fine and asks if he’s in or out. Miz says he wants to hear it from both of them. Cena asks if he’s in or out, and Miz revels in Cena asking him for help before he says he’ll let them know Sunday. Cena says it’s a shame that they may need him.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Something tells me that 3/4 of the Nexus … have no idea what a Nexus is! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@kickoutblog Eat_Souls.MichaelTarver
@kickoutblog Michael Tarver was not given a microphone because if Sacramento heard his true voice, their heads would explode.
@IAmJHPunk Is Bret gonna wrestle in a Batman shirt? #wwe #raw #bwf
Next week Justin Long guest hosts RAW.
John Cena and Bret Hart vs Chris Jericho and Edge with Nexus as Lumberjacks
Cena tossed out, Nexus goes crazy. Jericho tossed out, Nexus doesn’t seem to give a shit, until Jericho hits Barrett by accident, and then Edge tries to help, Bret drags Gabriel in, Barrett drags him out. Nexus takes out Edge and Jericho, Morrison and Truth join Bret and Cena, Nexus gets in the ring. Edge and Jericho back away, then seem to debate whether or not to go back in the ring. Finally, Jericho and Edge rejoin Team WWE. Short brawl between Team WWE and Nexus. Nexus flees best they can, and Team WWE chases then out into the stands
Alright. I’m going to say it. Overall, not a great RAW. The best parts of RAW were the very first match, The Miz vs Evan Bourne, and then Randy Orton and Sheamus’ segment. I admit, the main event got better at the end, building the hype up by making Jericho and Edge return, but the rest of it? Total shit. Just sayin’. See everyone in a week, I hope! If I can’t get to RAW before Tuesday, then it’ll be two weeks! Ciao, darlings!
Hey, Everybody! It’s time for WWE Superstars again.
Match 1: Tiffany vs Co-Women’s Champion Layla (non-title match)
Somehow Tiffany is the number one contender. This is your standard Diva’s match. Michelle McCool interferes behind the referees back. Layla wins with the Lay-Out.
Match 2: Vance Archer and Kurt Hawkins vs The Dudebusters
Wasn’t Kurt Hawkins a Dudebuster in FCW? He gets the win over his former team with the flying elbow off the top rope. After the match, Archer and Hawkins tell the Hart Dynasty to pay attention and they will find them. I guess they are next in line for a tag title shot now.
Main Event: Zack Ryder vs Evan Bourne
Evan Bourne is the most exciting guy to watch in the WWE right now. He’s just spectacular. Bourne gets the win with the Shooting Star Press.
That’s it for this week. Join me again next week.
Hello all and welcome to the Money In the Bank Roundtable, I am you host JT and tonight I am joined by BWF writer G as well as RYTMAN. Welcome guys I hope we have a good discussion for this Sunday’s pay per view. So without further ado, let’s get this show on the road: (more…)
Hooray for me actually participating this week – it gives me the right to comment on everything myself! Here goes!
1. Sheamus (Last week: 1)
On our facebook page earlier this week, I posted that only one of the three World Champions made my list this week – and this is the guy. I voted Sheamus number two after a few great promos on RAW.
2. John Cena (7)
Another guy that wasn’t bad on the mic this week is John Cena. I actually missed the end of RAW, and that could contribute to why Cena didn’t make my personal list this week.
3. Randy Orton (6)
The Viper did make my ballot this week – I actually picked him sixth. An impressive showing in the tag match on RAW and a post match RKO on Evan Bourne helped Orton in this week’s poll.
4. Rey Mysterio (4)
I didn’t pick Mysterio at all – He’s just another victim of…
5. Jack Swagger (NR)
The All American American Jack Swagger. I’ve been so impressed with Swagger the last couple of weeks that I actually picked him number one this week on my ballot. It wasn’t enough to put the former World Heavyweight Champion past number 5 on the Power Poll this week, however.
6. Abyss (5)
I didn’t vote for Abyss, but I did like the way he handled doing the crazy gimmick on iMPACT this week. The board with the nails in it may be good for chasing away aliens on “The Simpsons,” but it couldn’t stop Jeff Hardy.
7. Evan Bourne (NR)
The high flying Evan Bourne somehow managed to slip under my radar this week, as he wasn’t on my ballot. All the credit in the world to this kid, he’s been a thorn in Chris Jericho’s side for the last month or so, and is definitely the guy most people, myself included, are looking forward to watching in RAW’s Money In The Bank ladder match.
8. Kurt Angle (2)
Angle got enough votes to stay on the Power Poll this week? A promo with The Pope didn’t do it for me, but apparently it worked for some of the voters.
9. Jay Lethal (9)
Lethal has impressed lately, getting a push in the Hogan/Bischoff era of TNA. A win, albeit tainted, over Matt Morgan this week had me pick Lethal 5th on my list, and let him hang on to #9 overall.
10. Jeff Hardy (NR)
The victory over Abyss on iMPACT must have garnered Hardy enough attention from my fellow pollsters to get him into the top 10. Hardy was impressive in the win, I must admit, but I didn’t vote for him.
Participating sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Online World of Wrestling, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, WrestleRage.com, Wrestlespective
Well arter a few weeks of doing the podcast thingy, I figured I’d return to the old format and the article thingy this week. Plus the allergies are pretty bad again this week so I’d save you from hearing me sneeze 20 times in 20 minutes. So without further ado, I say we get this ship sailing: (more…)
Hey everybody. I’m back with another invigorating review (and by review I mean my rants about how these guys should be used instead of how they are being used) of WWE Superstars. Let’s get this thing started shall we?
Kofi Kingston def. Chavo Guerrero
This match is for two guys who can’t get on TV anymore. Somehow, Kofi got lost in the RAW shuffle and is not even in the Money in the Bank Match at Wrestlemania. How does this kind of oversight happen? One minute the guy is on fire in a very hot feud with Randy Orton and then the next he is delegated to random matches against Chavo Guerrero on Superstars without even a hint he will be on the biggest show of the year. Is it just me or does Kofi seem like another Elijah Burke, destined to be in TNA? Anyways, Kofi wins with the Trouble in Paradise.
Evan Bourne def. William Regal
This is the type of match that should get some time. It’s really hard to explain a comeback from a beatdown in a short period of time. William Regal dominates this match and then out of nowhere, Bourne hits a knee and the Shooting Star Press for the win.
Kane def. Mike Knox
Ok. Kane is in the MITB match at Wrestlemania. Mike Knox is on his way to the unemployment line. Who do you think won this? Kane wins with the Chokeslam.
Chris Jericho vs Goldust
This was a highly entertaining match. Jericho even praised the Bizzare One on his Twitter account after this match was recorded on Tuesday night. With Goldust being in good shape and still being able to perform on a high level, maybe he can hang around for a little while and do for Drew McIntyre what he did for Sheamus on ECW. Jericho wins with the Codebreaker.
That’s it for this week. Tune in again next week.
Hey, everybody. Sorry I’m late this week, but I’m here now and ready to kick off on Super Bowl weekend.
Match 1: Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres vs Katie Lea Burchill and Alicia Fox
Diva wrestling…BOOOOOOO!!!! Alicia Fox rolls through a Kelly Kelly lateral press for the win. Anybody care about Diva matches??? I don’t and its my review, so no time for the Divas here.
Match 2: Evan Bourne vs Carlito
I really like both of these guys. I find them both extremely entertaining and full of ability. I know, I know. There are a lot of people that say Carlito is lazy and doesn’t work hard, but I don’t agree with that. The guy just makes things look effortless. He’s graceful in the ring. As for Evan Bourne, I really wish they would push him in the US title race. He is absolutely, 100% amazing. RAW has so many talented guys that they refuse to give substantial pushes to. These two are prime examples. This was a fantastic match with a ton of false finishes!!! Bourne wins with the Shooting Star Press after a Sunset Flip Powerbomb off the top rope. This match gets two thumbs way way way up!
Main Event: John Morrison, Matt Hardy and The Great Khali vs The Hart Dynasty and Drew McIntyre
Anytime you get John Morrison, Drew McIntyre, and The Hart Dynasty, you get a good match. Fatt Lardy sucks now and Khali can’t move, but there is always something negative to every positive. It’s just how the world works. The Punjabi Playboy needs to hang it up and Hardy needs to be released…and soon. How are those two supposed to be a credible tag team when they can’t do anything??? Matt Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge on David Hart Smith for the win. Matt Hardy does some type of dance to finish the show. Very weird!
See ya next week, my peeps!