BWF Founder and Fearless Leader ThinkSoJoE is live in attendance at tonight’s RAW! He has left your Empress of “iMPACT” in charge. Be afraid! Join your Reina of RAW, and let’s check out the “Bragging Rights” fall-out. (more…)
This is going to be a quick post, since I haven’t actually seen most of the PPV. We’re looking for somebody to cover the WWE Pay-Per-View events starting with Survivor Series next month, so if you’re interested, let us know on Twitter or Facebook or Myspace or wherever.
Anyways…
The Miz def. John Morrison
RAW leads 1-0
Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, and Natalya def. Melina, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly
We’re now tied at 1
The Undertaker def. Batista, Rey Mysterio, & CM Punk to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
After the match, Batista destroyed Rey Mysterio
Team SmackDown def. Team RAW
The Big Show turned on RAW, chokeslamming Kofi Kingston and allowing Jericho to pick up the win.
John Cena def. Randy Orton 6 – 5
This match was far better than I’d expected – at least, what I saw of it. Orton tried everything to keep Cena down, including trying to blow him up in the pyro, but Cena wouldn’t stay down. At one point, the doctors superglued a cut on Cena’s forehead to close up the wound. Somewhere, Sabu is laughing his ass off. In any event, with the score tied at 5, Cena locked in the STF and got the tapout with just five seconds remaining. From what I understand, the clock kept running despite the fact that there should have been a 30 second rest period as there was through the duration of the rest of the match. Ah well. Guess I’ll be seeing Cena in Buffalo tomorrow night after all.
That’s it for tonight, folks. Join us tomorrow as our Empress of Impact, Drowgoddess, becomes our Reina of RAW! I’ll have photos and thoughts from the HSBC Arena sometime after the event, so stay tuned for that as well.
What’s kiddies and non kiddies and welcome to another edition ot the criticially acclaimed and contraversial Abraham Washington Show Random Randomness hosted be none other than well me. Well then without further holdup, lets get this show on the road will ya: (more…)
What’s up, fellow Bored Wrestling Fans! This Monday night, yours truly will be at the HSBC Arena for RAW! Will I be watching the show that proves to be the dominant brand in sports entertainment, or will I be on the loser show? Also, will John Cena be on RAW this Monday? These questions will be answered tomorrow night at WWE Bragging Rights. Here’s what the BWF staff had to say about each match.
WWE Championship Iron Man Match: John Cena vs. Randy Orton (c)
JT: As much as Cen need a change of scenery and him going to Smackdown would be a goog thing, I just don’t see it happening just yet. Cena wins.
Drowgoddess: Cena wins. I would like to be pleasantly surprised with this, as I’m a huge fan of the “60-Minute Iron Man” match, but I just don’t know if these two can go that long without a lot of stalling and padding.
RYTMAN: Orton beats Cena (w/screwjob finish.) Cena to Smackdown.
The Green Teabagger: Cena wins the WWE Title back (yeah, I know).
ThinkSoJoE: I think moving to SmackDown would be beneficial for Cena at this point in his career, though as much as I’d love to attend a Cena-free RAW on Monday, my head tells me it’s not happening. Cena is arguably the biggest star in the company, and will most likely stay on the flagship show. Cena wins.
World Heavyweight Championship Fatal Four Way: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista vs. The Undertaker (c)
JT: Ugh, this shoud Punk’s one on one match, not a fatal four way. Having said that, I’m going with Punk with the surprise win here, forwarding the upcoming Batista heel turn.
Drowgoddess: A Punk win would please me greatly. The odds are so stacked against him that a sneaky, stolen win would be a surprise. That said, I think they’ll have Taker retain.
RYTMAN: Undertaker retains, Batista gets pissed.
The Green Teabagger: Punk wins his belt back.
ThinkSoJoE: Mysterio will somehow cost Batista the win here, but I can’t see Mysterio winning the title either. I think it’s too soon for him to lose it, so I’d say Taker retains.
SmackDown vs. RAW: The Miz vs. John Morrison
JT: A loss by Morrison here won’t hurt him but willdo wonders for The Miz. The Miz Wins
Drowgoddess: The real winner here is the audience. I honestly don’t know that I care who wins this match, I’d be happy with either one. For the sake of a good story, I’ll pick the Miz.
RYTMAN: Morrison beats Miz.
The Green Teabagger: Shawn Michaels beats Marty Jannetty John Morrison beats The Miz
ThinkSoJoE: Because of the chemistry these two have, both as partners and opponents, and because there was no real feud between the two following The Miz dropping Morrison on RAW when he got drafted, The Miz is going to win this one. Morrison will eventually get his rematch – and his revenge. I’m calling it – Miz vs. Morrison at WM26.
14 Man SmackDown vs. RAW tag team match – Chris Jericho, Kane, Matt Hardy, Finlay, R-Truth, and The Hart Dynasty vs. DX, The Big Show, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes, and Mark Henry.
JT: With the changes being made to this match at the last minute leads me more to believe that Team RAW wins here, at least with the original team there was potential for an upset.
Drowgoddess: Despite the changes to the “Smackdown” team, I’m pretty sure that the RAW team is winning here.
RYTMAN: Team Raw buries team Smackdown.
The Green Teabagger: D-X beats Smackdown when Big Show “betrays” Raw and D-X overcomes it. The other five members of the Raw team will be beaten up either way, and no one will remember that they won too.
ThinkSoJoE: Given that all of Team SmackDown, other than captains Jericho and Kane of course, actually lost their qualifying matches to get into this match, and that DX is captaining the other team, yeah, it’s unanimous – all of BWF are picking Team RAW.
6 Diva SmackDown vs. RAW tag team match – Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, & Natalya vs. Melina, Gail Kim, & Kelly Kelly
JT: Since the 14 man match will be the decider matchup and I picked the Miz, I’ll go with the Smackdown Divas here.
Drowgoddess: I can’t stand McCool, but I love Beth Phoenix and Natalya, and want to see them win. That said, I’m thinking Melina, Gail, and Kelly get the actual victory when Beth breaks McCool in half.
RYTMAN: I think Divas match is McCool vs. Melina. I’ll say Melina. (Note: RYTMAN got this to me before the match was officially announced)
The Green Teabagger: I don’t give a damn. If there is any justice, Beth Phoenix will just go apeshit and tear everyone apart. Hell, Smackdown wins this one.
ThinkSoJoE: There is no way in hell that the RAW Divas should be able to win this with Beth Phoenix and Natalya on Team SmackDown. But of course, if The Miz is going to win his match, Team RAW has to win this one to make it seem like RAW is still the dominant brand.
Thanks for visiting us here at BoredWrestlingFan.com today, come back tomorrow for an all new Random Randomness, as well as Bragging Rights coverage!
Tonight, The Undertaker defends his World Heavyweight Championship against CM Punk in a submission match! Will lightning strike twice? We’ll find out tonight on Friday Night SmackDown!
Following a brief promo video for tonight’s main event, the terrible new SmackDown theme plays and we’re live from the University of South Carolina with RAW’s announce team calling the action! Later on tonight, it’s Batista and Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho and Kane. Jim Ross isn’t feeling well. The King says that it won’t be the same without Todd Grisham and Jim Ross – it’ll be better!
Chris Jericho makes his way out first. He’s the captain of Team SmackDown this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and this past Monday on RAW, they tried to ambush Shawn Michaels, but Team RAW arrived to deny them the opportunity. Jericho says that his legendary status will be further cemented when he becomes known as the mastermind who led team SmackDown to a crushing victory over team RAW this Sunday. He wins whenever he wrestles, his greatness is omnipotent. In order to shut up DX, he needs to tweak his team a little. He needs to know that the men on his team are worthy to stand in the same ring as Chris Jericho. They’ll prove their dominance at Bragging Rights, just as he and Kane will prove their dominance against Batista and Mysterio tonight.
Yo yo yo yo yo, it’s Cryme Tyme!
JTG shows up without Shad, and Jericho asks if he’s in jail. JTG says he’s got the flu. Jericho says that being on the same team as JTG makes him sick. Does JTG know what an honor it is to be in the same ring as Chris Jericho?
EXCUSE ME!
Vickie Guerrero, the official consultant for Team SmackDown, would like to welcome the future of SmackDown, her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar. Escobar’s heard a lot of talk from DX saying they don’t know who he is. Neither does the WWE Universe, apparently, because they’re chanting “who are you?” He says that after he leads the team to victory, DX will never forget the name Eric Escobar
I am perfection!
Dolph Ziggler says that if anybody is going to be responsible for this team winning at Bragging Rights, it’s Dolph Ziggler, and he’s not going to let any of them screw it up for him. JTG asks what he knows about winning, when he lost four Intercontinental Title shots in a row, and then lost Maria. Talking about screwing up? His name should be Dolph Loser. Drew McIntyre makes his way out and says that Jericho has an ace up his sleeve with McIntyre on the team. Hand picked and personally signed by Mr. McMahon himself. He says he should’ve been named captain.
KABOOM!
Kane comes to the ring, and he says that none of these guys are worthy to fight alongside Kane. Jericho steps in and says “or me!” Kane advised Jericho that, since they’ll be busy with Batista and Mysterio tonight, the other four of them should be busy too. After all, they want to be on the team, don’t they? Jericho says that since one of them called in sick, they’re stuck in a four on five tag match tonight, and if they lose, they’ll be replaced by the five men who beat them tonight. That way we’ll see if you have what it takes to be in the same ring as Chris Jericho and Kane. By the way, that match is NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Matt Hardy is on his way to the ring when we come back, joining a few other superstars in the ring. R-Truth is out next, rapping and dancing as usual, much to the chagrin of Drew McIntyre. Already in the ring for the team are David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and Finlay.
Matt Hardy, The Hart Dynasty, R-Truth, and Finlay def. Eric Escobar, Drew McIntyre, JTG, and Dolph Ziggler
There’s a new mandate here on BoredWrestlingFan. Anybody who reviews a Matt Hardy match MUST comment on how fat he looks in tights, until he either loses weight or switches back to pants. You know what, I figured it out. It’s not that the tights look bad on him, it’s the fact he wears boots that are the exact same color as his tights and he looks like he’s wearing footy pajamas. It’s distracting – I can’t even really call the match. In the end, it’s Finlay with the shillelagh shot to JTG’s leg and a Twist of Fate from Fatt Hardy for the victory.
So now it’s Chris Jericho, Kane, Matt Hardy, Finlay, R-Truth, and the Hart Dynasty taking on DX, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, The Big Show, and Kofi Kingston.
CM Punk is telling Scott Armstrong that he doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation. He says that Armstrong is being selfish. It’s not about him or his family’s legacy, it’s all about CM Punk. Teddy Long says he’s still on probation and could lose his job over this, and worse, he could lose his life if he’s not careful. Punk wants to know why they understood what was going on in Montreal, but now they’re second guessing themselves. Armstrong says that a man is nothing without his good name. He says that Punk can find someone else to do his dirty work. Mr. McMahon comes in and says “we need to talk.”
John Morrison is backstage, walking. Guess that means he’s in action, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Later on, it’s Jericho & Kane vs. Mysterio & Batista
Intercontinental Champion John Morrison and his cool slo-mo entrance are here for action. Sunday he’ll be facing the United States Champion, The Miz. The Miz beat Marty Jannetty on Monday with the Skull Crushing Finale. Morrison’s opponent tonight is far from Marty Jannetty. He’s Mike Knox, and earlier today, he said that blunt abdominal trauma is the worst pain a human body can experience, and then went on to explain why.
John Morrison def. Mike Knox
You know, Mike Knox doesn’t get enough credit. I’m a huge fan of his, and I love the medical genius gimmick. Morrison is very impressive as well, and in this matchup he uses his finesse and quickness to keep control. Even after a huge boot to Morrison’s face, his quickness allows him to regain control in mere moments, and hit the Starship Pain for the win.
Morrison takes the microphone and says that This Sunday he faces The Miz. While The Miz is busy trying to prove that he’s Shawn Michaels, or that he’s not Marty Jannetty, Morrison knows who he is – the Friday Night Delight, John Morrison.
Still to come, a submission match for the World Heavyweight Championship!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Backstage, the new Team SmackDown are celebrating when Chris Jericho and Kane come to congratulate them. They expect the team to follow their lead. R-Truth says to save the Patton speech. They may not like him, but they respect him. The all agree that they’re on the same page, they’re going to prove that their the superior brand this Sunday. Jericho says he wants them to watch he and Kane destroy Mysterio and Batista the same way they’ll destroy Team RAW on Sunday.
Mickie James is hanging out with Mae Young. Michelle McCool comes in and says it’s nice to see Mae, but not so much Mickie. Michelle says it’s a shame Mickie didn’t make the SmackDown Divas team at Bragging Rights, but Beth Phoenix and Natalya are so much more talented than her (ThinkSoJoE Note: IT’S A SHOOT!). Mickie tells Michelle to keep telling herself that. The fact is that Michelle is scared because she knows Mickie is her biggest threat and that she’ll take that Women’s Championship from her. Beth Phoenix comes in and compliments Mae and tells Michelle that she’s thrilled to be a part of Team SmackDown at Bragging Rights, but reminds her that she shouldn’t plan on holding the title very long. She’ll see her Sunday. Mae says “she told you!” Michelle tells her to shut up, and gets slapped across the face for her trouble.
Last week on SmackDown, Mysterio stole a victory – literally – from Batista. Batista says his shoulder was up. Rey says all he knows is the referee counted three. Anyways, Mysterio and his family checked out the new Batista DVD over the weekend. He says he learned a lot about his friend that he didn’t know before. Batista says he wishes they put him winning the title at Bragging Rights on there. Mysterio says that’s gonna be hard, because he’s going to win the title on Sunday night. They’re in action, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Booyakah Booyakah – whatever that means. Rey Mysterio makes his way out for tag team action. Batista follows soon after. Jericho is out first for his team, followed by Kane, and we’re set for tag team action.
Rey Mysterio & Batista def. Chris Jericho & Kane
The story through this one is Mysterio being cut off from Batista and dominated by Jericho and Kane. When Mysterio finally gets the tag, Batista explodes on Kane. He drops him with a spinebuster and goes for a Batista Bomb when Jericho breaks it up. Kane slams Batista shoulder first into the steel ringpost, but Mysterio stops him from going for the chokeslam – only to take on himself. Batista uses the distraction to hit a spear on Kane and pick up the victory.
Mr. McMahon says he’s excited for tonight’s championship match. He’s proud of Punks accomplishments so far. He says that Long earns a gold star for making this match tonight. He tells Armstrong to be an impartial referee. Mr. McMahon smells change in the air. He says what starts here ends at WrestleMania sometimes. He talks about Fan Axxess and the Hall of Fame. He tells Scott Armstrong that his dad, Bullet Bob is quite a guy, and could be a candidate for the Hall of Fame. McMahon tells him to keep that thought tonight during the championship match.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Mickie James makes her way out for Diva’s action. Her opponent tonight is Layla.
Mickie James vs. Layla
In a less than impressive match, Mickie James picked up the victory with the Mick Kick.
Video Package: Rest In Peace, Captain Lou. We’ll miss you.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Video Package: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
CM Punk, Teddy Long, and Scott Armstrong make their way out to the stage. Punk says that he feels unstoppable knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that he can physically dissect and beat down everybody sitting in it. He can reduce everybody sitting at home to tears in the blink of an eye. But it doesn’t add up to how unstoppable he feels knowing that in a few moments he’s going to make The Undertaker tap out for the second time. He knows it’s hard for us to deal with. Punk says his bragging rights start right here tonight when he once again becomes our Straight Edge World Champion, and there’s not a thing any of us can do about it.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
CM Punk is already in the ring and he’s introduced by Tony Chimel. The bell tolls and The Undertaker makes his entrance, and we’re set for our SmackDown main event!
The Undertaker def. CM Punk
The story of this one is Punk trying to lock in submissions as quickly as possible, but The Undertaker escaping before Punk can lock them in, knowing that if he gets caught in a hold, Armstrong could possibly ring the bell, screwing him again like he did at Breaking Point. Frustrated by the conspiracy, Undertaker chokeslams referee Scott Armstrong. Teddy Long starts to head up the ramp, and Punk catches ‘Taker with a few chairshots. He asks Long to get him another referee and slaps on the Anaconda Vise. Long starts yelling for the bell, but apparently only a referee can do that.. When another referee gets to the ring, Undertaker reverses the Anaconda Vise into the Hell’s Gate for the tapout victory.
The Undertaker glares across the arena at Punk as we’re set for this Sunday Night at Bragging Rights.
That’s it for me, folks. I’ll see you later on as I host the BWF Bragging Rights Roundtable!
Welcome to my first review of ECW. Lately I’ve been typing up a play-by play for the World Wrestling Insanity boards that usually has a few people checking it out, but doesn’t always get any responses.
This is my first time posting a review on a site and I’m not familiar with how BoredWrestlingFan.com normally does things so I’ll be posting at the end and if that’s not okay someone can just inform me and I’ll do it later. Also I’ve got an early work day tomorrow so later weeks may also be more detailed.
I’m a big fan of the current ECW. Everyone on it is booked well and even the unstoppable monsters aren’t so tough the faces have no chance about them. I’d say my only complaints with the current product are The Abraham Washington Show and the William Regal’s role as leader of the Ruthless Roundtable frequently has him adopting an expression that’s just a little to psycho for my tastes.
This week’s main storyline looks to be Zach Ryder’s continuing to turn face. It’s a surprise move to me, but given the strength of Regal’s group there really could be only so many unaffiliated heels and Ryder just doesn’t fit.
Unfortunately I’m missing the beginning because my satelite doesn’t want to cooperate. For some reason Syfy is always one of the first channels I lose when there’s problems with cloud cover and the like.
For some reason SyFy is the only channel I can’t get. And I can watch it in my living room, which is an HDTV. Unfortunately my computer is in a different room. So I’ll just give a less detailed recap at the end.
Another very entertaining episode of ECW. Striker and Matthews are a fun announce team. I always enjoy the nicknames for wrestlers and little tidbits Striker throws out. Today he channeled a bit of Bobby Heenan picking both Team Raw and Team Smackdown to win the Bragging Rights match.
I missed most of the Ryder/Tatsu match. Apparently my instincts on Ryder’s issues with Regal were off, but in the WWE heels don’t have long term issues with each other. I just hope the WWE doesn;t shoot itself in the foot by doing something like turning Tatsu heel now that Christian has his wish and gets to defend against him.
So the Unified tag championship finally make an appearence on ECW. About time. Still I don’t see how ECW ever could have a member on Team Smackdown. Tiffany came off pretty flat though
Shelton looked very good jumping in the ring to take on Sheamus and he got a very good reaction from the crowd. I hope he introduces a new finisher now that he’s a face though. Or at least one of his old ones. Paydirt isn’t that impressive.
The really gave away the fact that the “Hurricane” coming down the ramp wasn’t the Hurricane with him keeping his head down. I’d glad Helms is moving a bit away from the Grim and Gritty superhero look. And just let me say Katie Lea in skin tight pants is one of the nicest sites in wrestling
Christian and Jericho had an extremely good match. Color me shocked that Regal’s group didn’t attack. They could have set things up to get him an eventual shot at the ECW title and Zeke and Kozlov ready for a tag title match.
See you next week, with a hopefully more detailed report.
Hello and welcome to another edition of Random Randomness, I amyour host JT and tonight I’ll be giving my opinions on this week in wrestling, well sort of. Well let’s get this going: (more…)
Episode #530: “SmackDown and Dirty”
This week’s WWE SmackDown is dedicated to the memory of Captain Lou Albano.
We kick off with the terrible new SmackDown theme song that is probably only used as a thinly veiled shot at TNA with the line “Do you really want to Cross The Line.” Todd Grisham welcomes us to the University of Kentucky, where he’s hanging out at ringside with… Michael Cole! Vintage SmackDown! Tonight, it’s Batista vs. Rey Mysterio, and the return of The Dirt Sheet!
You know it’s the Mack Militant…
Teddy Long is in the house, and he’s excited about Bragging Rights next Sunday. In the SmackDown vs. RAW main event at the PPV, he would like to ensure that SmackDown would be the dominant brand. He introduces us to the captain of Team SmackDown, Chris Jericho. Jericho heads down to the ring, and he says that Teddy Long has finally put aside prejudice and politics and made the right decision in naming him the captain of Team SmackDown. As the face of this show, he needs to address the possibility of John Cena returning. When Orton beats Cena, Cena will no longer be allowed to compete for the WWE Championship and will be banished from RAW, which means he’ll want to come back to SmackDown, but things have changed since Cena left, because Jericho is the man around here now. Nobody has been more successful or dominant in the 10 year history of SmackDown, and if Cena wants to return, he’s got to go through Jericho. Jericho is the cornerstone of SmackDown and the best in the world at what he does. He’s the reason all of the parasites in the crowd are there tonight. As the captain of Team SmackDown, it’s his responsibility to put together a team that will allow him to lead them to the promised land. They’ll beat team RAW, who’s captains have written this “piece of Flotsam and Jetsam (referring to DX’s new book),” Degeneration X. You know what Jericho thinks of DX? He begins tearing pages out of the new DX book. He says that’s what he’s going to do to DX at Bragging Rights. He’ll open our eyes and we’ll truly see…
KABOOM!
Kane’s pyro goes off, and the Big Red Monster says that he and Jericho need to talk. He’s been listening to Jericho’s every word, and he’s here to tell him that he’s now the co-captain of the SmackDown Seven. Jericho says of course he is, he was thinking the same thing. He was just going to announce that because the combination of Kane’s strength and Jericho’s intelligence means that the RAW team doesn’t stand a chance. Kane says the book, DX, and all of Team RAW can go up in flames.
Still to come, Batista takes on Rey Mysterio.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The following contest is a Triple-Threat Bragging Rights Qualifying Match scheduled for one fall. Chris Jericho is apparently in charge of all of these qualifying matches. This one pits Finlay vs. Mike Knox vs. Dolph Ziggler.
Dolph Ziggler def. Mike Knox & Finlay in a Triple Threat Match
SmackDown has the best matches on all of television. That’s through all three WWE brands and TNA. In the end here, Finlay and Knox both went for cross-bodies, Finlay with Shillelagh in hand. Finlay goes for a cover, but Ziggler pulls him out and covers Knox to pick up the victory!
So far, the main event for Bragging Rights is DX, The Big Show, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, and Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Jericho, Kane, and Dolph Ziggler.
Still to come, The Dirt Sheet returns!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
In the following tag team match, the winning team will both qualify for Team Smackdown.
Cryme Tyme def. The Hart Dynasty
You know what I don’t get? Why they bothered to bring the Hart Dynasty up to SmackDown. They put on great matches and all, but it seems like they’re stuck wrestling Cryme Tyme every week. At this point, I think they’d be better off being the big fishes in the small pond of ECW. It doesn’t help these guys that the Unified Tag Team Champions are also heels. Speaking of which, why are Jericho and The Big Show never on ECW? That’s a thought for another time though, as JTG picks up the victory by hitting Tyson Kidd with the Thugnificence after the distraction from Shad.
So the match at Bragging Rights is now DX, Big Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston, and Rhodes takin on Jericho, Kane, Ziggler, and Cryme Tyme.
Still to come, Batista takes on Rey Mysterio
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Chris Jericho is talking to Michelle McCool backstage when Teddy Long comes in. Jericho tells her that Bragging Rights is important. If SmackDown wins twice out of the three matches, they’ll prove their the dominant brand. He says he can’t count on Morrison to beat The Miz, but he wants to know if he can count on Michelle. She says she makes history and can beat any diva in any kind of match at any time. Mickie James walks in, excited that she was excited to be chosen to be traded to SmackDown. Mickie says that if Chris is looking for somebody to beat the RAW Divas, he should pick somebody who’s already beaten every Diva on RAW. Michelle excuses herself but runs into Beth Phoenix, who tells her she shouldn’t count on hanging onto her title for long with The Glamazon around.
Mr. McMahon is on his cell phone when CM Punk shows up. Punk isn’t thrilled about the fatal four way. Mr. McMahon isn’t either. Punk says McMahon should do something about it. McMahon says he liked the idea Punk had last week for a Breaking Point rematch. Punk asks if that means the four way is off. McMahon says it’s not. Instead, Punk vs. Undertaker in a submission match with referee Scott Armstrong as the official and Teddy Long at ringside – right here on SmackDown next week!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
WrestleMania tickets go on sale in 22 days!
The following is a Bragging Rights qualifying match, but first, here’s Vickie Guerrero, who is booed like crazy and doing her “Excuse Me” gimmick. She introduces, making his SmackDown debut, her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar. His opponent tonight is from Cameron, North Carolina and wearing the ugliest purple tights this side of Men on a Mission, Matt Hardy!
Eric Escobar def. Matt Hardy
Escobar looked pretty good here, virtually dominating Matt Hardy. In the end, however, it was a distraction of the referee by Vickie Guerrero that allowed Escobar to slam Hardy shoulder first and roll him up – hooking Matt’s Barney the Dinosaur inspired tights – for the pinfall victory.
The Bragging Rights main event is now DX, Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston and Rhodes vs. Kane, Jericho, Cryme Tyme, Ziggler, and Escobar.
Up next, it’s the return of The Dirt Sheet!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
In a world full of winners and losers, two men have risen above to bring you The Dirt Sheet. The United States Champion The Miz is introduced first, followed by SmackDown’s Intercontinental Champion John Morrison. The st is split in two – one half is red (where The Miz is sitting) and one side is blue (where Morrison is sitting). Morrison says he’ll prove why being the Intercontinental Champion is better than – hey wait a minute – The Miz has a championship! Is that real? Or did he get it on WWEShop.com. The Miz is your United States Champion. Not only will we determine which brand is superior, we’ll find out who was the superior member of the greatest tag team of the 21st Century. They say that throughout history, great teams have split up with one member going on to greatness and the other fading into obscurity. Like, Mork and Mindy – you know, Robin Williams and whathername. Bill and Ted – Ted was in The Matrix, Bill was in the unemployment line. Wayne and Garth, Regis and Kathy Lee, and of course, The Rockers. When they broke up, Shawn Michaels went on to become Shawn Michaels! Marty Jannetty went on to be Marty Jannetty (wah wah wah.) At Bragging Rights, Miz says he’ll prove he’s the Shawn Michaels and Morrison will be the Marty Jannetty. Morrison says that Jannetty never had cool merch like he’s got. Miz says there can’t be two Jannetty’s so in default, Morrison is the Jannetty. Jannetty says that there can be two Jannetty’s – Marty Jannetty and Mizzy Jannetty. They then argue about The Miz’s dating life. Morrison says the only thing Miz has done is conformed. He had the courage to dress like a loser. But now he’s some strange mixture of Michael Phelps, Mr. Ed, Pink, and Big Dick Johnson. And when you put all that together, you get The Miz. Miz laughs it off. He says he’s got great hair, the women love his pearly whites, and he looks good in trunks. Morrison says he looks husky. Morrison says Miz isn’t fat, he’s husky. The crowd agrees. Miz says they’re just jealous of his amazing body. At Bragging Rights, there will be no debate – he’ll prove he’s better than Morrison. Morrison says prove it now. Miz says he won’t do that in this second rate city in this second rate state on this second rate show, he’ll do it on the PPV. Morrison asks if Miz really thinks that SmackDown is the second rate show? RAW is nothing more than a cheap imitation of Saturday Night Live. So if you want to tune in to see the amazing star power of Al Sharpton or Nancy O’Dell, go ahead. Who’s hosting next week, Big Bird? If you want action, entertainment, and the Friday Night Delight, you tune in to Friday Night SmackDown. These people are tired of the boring Miz. Miz says he’s the most entertaining and charismatic superstar in the WWE. He’s the reason people watch RAW. He’s the reason people are watching tonight. He carried Morrison for two years, because he’s The Miz, and he’s Awesome! Morrison says he’s the Miz and all he does is run his mouth. Talk is cheap. This is SmackDown, not RAW. He won’t let Miz sit around and talk about what he’s gonna do. He dares Miz to take a shot at him. Miz takes off his jacket. Miz decides that discretion is the better part of valor and leaves. Morrison says “see you at Bragging Rights, Jannetty.” Both men hold up their respective titles.
Still to come, Rey Mysterio takes on Batista.
Video package: The feud between Drew McIntyre and R-Truth.
Truth is walking backstage, and he’ll face Drew McIntyre one on one, NEXT! in a Bragging Rights qualifying match.
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Later tonight, The Undertaker has a message for CM Punk.
It’s time to find out who the final member of Team SmackDown will be! WHAT’S UP! R-Truth raps his way down the aisle. I guess they’re letting him backstage again, since he didn’t come out of the crowd. Drew McIntyre makes his way out to the ring, and we’re ready for action!
Drew McIntyre def. R-Truth
Here’s what I want to know. Why isn’t ECW upset that RAW and SmackDown are having a PPV to determine the dominant brand in the WWE and barely mentioning them? Anyways, McIntyre works over Truth’s back throughout the match, eventually sweeping his leg out from under him while he was standing on the steel steps on the outside. Truth couldn’t make the 10 count, and McIntyre wins by countout!
So the Bragging Rights main event is DX, Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston, and Rhodes vs. Jericho, Kane, Cryme Tyme, Escobar, Ziggler, and now McIntyre.
Rey Mysterio and Batista are backstage, and Batista isn’t thrilled about having to face his brother ReyRey tonight. Mysterio says it’s cool, and come Bragging Rights, it’s all about the title. Mysterio asks Batista to take it easy on him tonight.
We’ll hear from The Undertaker, NEXT!
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Video Package: Randy Orton and John Cena’s rivalry leading to their Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights.
Rundown of the Bragging Rights card
Video Package: The feud between CM Punk and The Undertaker.
Undertaker says that history has a way of repeating itself, but not in his yard. Punk, Armstrong, and Long have decided to tempt fate and wrest the holy grail from death’s grip. Once you enter Hell’s gates, there’s no turning back. At Bragging Rights, he’ll take Punk’s soul, and in one week’s time, he’ll give Punk his last rights.
Rey Mysterio is out first for tonight’s main event. Batista’s music starts, and I start to doze off a little. Then his pyro goes off, and I wake up again. Then the bell rings. Here we go!
Rey Mysterio def. Batista
It starts off as a friendly match – until Mysterio goes for a 619 and seemingly lights a fire under the Animal. Batista takes control and physically dominates – though he’s hesitant to do so. Mysterio starts to use his speed to mount a comeback, and hits a 619, but when he goes for the West Coast Pop, Batista catches him and goes for a Batista Bomb, but Mysterio reverses it into a Hurricanrana pin attempt – which leads to the pinfall victory for Rey Mysterio!
Following the match, Batista complains that his shoulder was up, which Michael Cole agrees with, but Batista still hugs Mysterio and raises his hand. Batista applauds Mysterio’s victory from the top of the ramp, and CM Punk rushes in and drops Mysterio with the GTS before bailing through the crowd. Batista runs him off and helps Mysterio to his feet.
Next week, CM Punk vs. The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship with Scott Armstrong as the referee and Teddy Long at ringside in a submission match.
My thoughts: Another solid episode of SmackDown. Even the Batista/Mysterio match was pretty good. I just wish I was more awake through it. I’m a bit surprised at the team that’s representing SmackDown, but I probably shouldn’t be. That’s it for me guys, stay tuned for Random Randomness from JT this Sunday and Bound For Glory coverage all weekend!
To quote the underrated band Unwritten Law, “I’m sick of my sickness.” I feel like crap right now, so my goal tonight is to do as little as possible to get through this review before I turn it over to whomever tonight’s BWF guest host will be.
Chris Jericho kicks things off, explaining WWE Bragging Rights, explaining that the main event will be a 7 on 7 tag match between RAW and SmackDown. Jericho says he can choose whichever side he wants since he’s a Unified Tag Team Champion, but he’s been named the SmackDown team captain and plans to put together a great team. Guest Host Nancy O’Dell interrupts and tells him that we don’t start RAW with him, we start it with DX.
BREAK IT DOWN!
Shawn Michaels and Triple H make their way out to the ring. Or at least, Triple H does. Mark Eaton, the timekeeper, gets in the ring and does the running around Triple H bit. The Game says we’re doing things differently tonight. Are you ready?
For the thousands in attendance, the millions watching at home, and Shawn Michaels who’s not here. He says he got a call from HBK, with whom he was going to set up the RAW team for Bragging Rights. He could go ahead and make the team, but instead he’s going to be a true friend and call HBK at home and badger him. HBK’s voicemail is a parody of his theme music. HBK picks up. Triple H and the DX Army want to know where he is. He says his daughter got sick and he had to stay home. He just put her to sleep and finished reading her a bedtime story. Triple H asks if it was from the Unauthorized History of DX that’s on sale now, would he? He says he wouldn’t read his daughter that crap… um… he means… he means that of course he read it! Triple H says he reads it to his kids all the time. HBK says goodbye to Indianapolis, and Triple H is then interrupted by Chris Jericho and The Big Show. Jericho puts over SmackDown. Triple H says SmackDown is a good show. A very good show with a spineless GM that does whatever Vince says, it features a grumpy little troll who runs his mouth all the time (that’s Jericho), and it features great, great, wrestling. Y’know, like The Great Khali. Triple H says it’s nowhere near the league of RAW (Editor Note: He’s right. It’s in a much much better league). Jericho says that he’s going to take The Big Show for the SmackDown team despite the fact that he’s a RAW Superstar. Triple H says that Jericho’s the boss, then makes a couple of gay jokes. Show says that he and Jericho are equals, and Big Show carries the team. Jericho asks him what he just said. Show says he’s not the one who got pinned last week. Jericho says he’s not the one who was the laughing stock of Sportscenter after being humiliated by Shaquille O’Neil. Show says that at least he didn’t get punked out by a 200 Year Old fossil named Bob Barker. Jericho says he’d face Barker anywhere in the world. Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does, and he’s made The Big Show a champion. He’s no longer known as the guy who got knocked out at WrlestleMania 24 by Floyd Mayweather. Big Show tells Triple H he’s changed his mind and wants to be on the RAW team at Bragging Rights. Triple H says it’s the greatest news he’s heard, but unfortunately they don’t have any spaces open. He says he’ll do him a favor though. He’s been given the authority to earn his slot on the RAW team. All he’s got to do is win his match tonight. Show says he can do it. His opponent tonight is Chris Jericho. Oh yeah, and that match is now. The Tag Team Champions don’t look happy as Triple H leaves.
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From some of our friends on Twitter:
@fozzyfan: They ruined a perfect opening of Raw by interrupting @IAmJericho for Triple Nose? Thumbs DOWN
@IAmJHPunk: How did HHH already talk to the guest host & get permission 2 make the match when he barely found out that Show wants 2 switch? #wwerawfail
The Big Show def. Chris Jericho
Big Show tries to calm Jericho down, but Jericho keeps slapping him. Show slaps him off the top rope, and Jericho falls to the floor clutching his knee. Show goes to help him up, and Jericho tries to sneak back into the ring before the 10 count. Show prevents that from happening and gets back in the ring himself for the count out victory.
Maria Menudos is standing by with Legacy. She asks how they’re doing and if they should be on team RAW at Bragging Rights. They both think they should be. There will be a triple threat match later tonight, and the winner will be on Team RAW. It’s Rhodes vs. DiBiase vs. Cena.
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From the Twitterverse:
@leomc2: what a waste of 30 minutes that was #wwe #raw
@dasharpshooters: John Cena wants to qualify? dude is in a IRON MAN MATCH. #supercena #wwe #raw
The Indiana Pacers are in the house. And The Diva’s Champion is here – out first for a title defense. Tradition be damned. Apparently, Mickie James’ challenger is Jillian. How the hell did that happen?
Jillian Hall def. Mickie James to become the new WWE Diva’s Champion?!?
Um. What? Jillian just beat Mickie James to become the Diva’s Champion? Mickie had her foot on the ropes, but I guess it counts.
From Twitter: @SanzJohnson: since jill the new champ, hopefully she can get a new theme, outfit, and face! #WWE #RAW
Jillian decides to sing Lady GuyGuy’s song “Paparazzi.” She’s interrupted by the sounds of Lenny Kravitz’ version of “American Woman,” which brings out Nancy O’Dell. She made a major Diva’s trade over the weekend. Jillian is still on RAW. The bad news for her is that she has to defend her Diva’s Championship against RAW’s newest Diva right now. She knows a thing or two about paparazzi… MELINA IS BACK ON RAW! Jillian scrambles to put her belt around her waist before Melina gets to the ring.
Melina def. Jillian Hall to become the new WWE Diva’s Champion
Well, thanks for coming, Jillian. I wonder why Mickie dropped the title?
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From Twitter: @BigD923: Thank you Melina, Jillian as Divas Champions would of sucked!!! #WWE #RAW
@steverechtman: Between Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menunos, this is some of the best mic work that the #WWE had had in a very long time. #Raw
Snoop Dogg is the guest host for next week’s RAW.
Triple H is talking to a cardboard cutout of HBK. Actually, he’s talking to him on speaker phone. Shawn’s music starts playing, and Hornswoggle comes out dressed like HBK! Shawn says he’s not watching and he’s going into the living room to see what’s going on. Triple H says it’s gimmick infringement, and Hornswoggle hits sweet shin music on the HBK cutout. Triple H tries to save him, but Hornswoggle knocks The Game down and gives him a crotch chop.
Full details of the Diva trade will be available on WWE.com after RAW tonight
Santino is with Nancy O’Dell, who is the Sexy Superfan of the Month from WWE Magazine. Santino does his best anchor work when Beth Phoenix comes in and shoves him out of the way. She says that she heard she’s been traded to SmackDown. Phoenix pretty much says she’ll kick O’Dell and Menoudos’ asses. Santino says that Maria isn’t scared, she’d compete against Phoenix in some kind of match tonight. Santino says it’s official while O’Dell tries to tell him it’s a bad idea. Santino says he faked every “organism” with Beth Phoenix in the past.
Last Week: An Iron Man Match was made for Bragging Rights
From Twitter: @DCsPeoplesChamp: Why do they keep Hornswaggle around? #midgetfail
@WellYoureWrong: Okay, how drunk and or high do you have to be to sit through Cena Vs Orton for an Hour? #wwe
@ANDaniloTheRef: Beth to SD!? I can only imagine the Matches she could have against Natalya but, the Matches ain’t gonna happen. Damn Bikini Models! #WWE
WrestleMania 26 Tickets go on sale in 26 days.
Legacy make their way out for their triple threat match. John Cena comes out and we’re ready for action.
John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase
The idea here is that Legacy are going to try and soften up Cena for his Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights, but they still want to win and get onto team RAW for Bragging Rights. Orton came out and distracted Cena while he had DiBiase in an STF, and Rhodes rolled DiBiase up for the pinfall.
DiBiase isn’t thrilled with being pinned, and Orton tries to get them to calm down, and Nancy O’Dell makes a match for later tonight – Legacy vs. John Cena and Randy Orton.
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From Twitter:
@HandsomeGenius: #Raw – The they could team Rhodes with Chavo Geurrero and keep the Legacy gimmick alive. (This tweet is far-fetched.)
@johnnyz4282: So that was our first real match of the evening. Time, 10:13pm #wwe
@WellYoureWrong: I’m not a big Legacy fan but Cena didn’t win so, I approve.
The Indianapolis Colts are here, and we’ve got a Bragging Rights qualifying match set for one fall. First, it’s the All-American American Jack Swagger, who has guaranteed he won’t lose a match for the rest of the year. His opponent tonight is a former United States Champion, MVP!
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
Swagger actually won this one pretty easily. Impressive victory for the All-American American.
So far, team RAW is DX, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, and Jack Swagger.
Legacy are still arguing backstage. Orton says he won’t team with Cena and he won’t let O’Dell tell him what to do. He’s not going to let himself get tagged in, so it’ll be a handicapped match. DiBiase says that Rhodes is thinking what it would mean to pin both DiBiase and Orton in one night. Rhodes says that DiBiase is thinking that he can redeem himself by pinning Orton tonight. Orton says if that’s what they’re thinking, they’d better keep thinking.
Kofi Kingston makes his way out for a Bragging Rights qualifier. His opponent tonight is the high flying Evan Bourne.
Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne
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From the Twitterverse:
@aemckay: Kofi Kingston vs Evan Bourne? Wow. This is going to be awesome.
@NekoEyes: Evan Bourne’s theme music is KA!
@MigotoShiShi: Evan Bourne looks like Cody Rhodes and The Miz’s love child…
Back from break, the match is underway. A hard fought match, but Bourne gets caught with a Trouble In Paradise kick, giving Kofi the victory, and qualifiying him for Bragging Rights.
The RAW team is now Big Show, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, and Kofi Kingston. Mark Henry and Chris Masters will have the final qualifier this Thursday on Superstars.
Triple H is still talking to Shawn Michaels when Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menoudos come in, shill the book, and ask if Maria is ready for her match tonight. Chavo comes in and asks what’s up with Triple H and Hornswoggle. He thinks it’s a conspiracy. Triple H says he doesn’t like the troll anymore than Chavo does. Chavo says he should be the captain of the RAW team. Triple H has Menoudos kick him in the balls. HBK says if you’re not down with that, they’ve got two words for you.
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From twitter:
@SanzJohnson: chavo isnt a stuntman anymore..he’s on crash test dummy level #WWE #RAW
@WellYoureWrong: If you wearing the PPV T-Shirt, You’re not going to be on said PPV. #wwe
@BradMilner: Poor Chavo … he’d give anything to be opening on Nitro again
It’s time for 6 Diva tag team action. Beth Phoenix and her team (Alicia Fox and Roza Mendez) are already in the ring. Their opponents are Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria Menoudos. Before the match we get a sneak peek at Menoudos’ new movie, “Serial Buddies.”
Maria Menoudos, Kelly Kell, and Gail Kim def. Beth Phoenix, Alica Fox, and Rosa Mendez.
I stopped paying attention for a second and I missed the end of the match, but I know the faces won.
Later tonight, it’s Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase against Randy Orton and John Cena!
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As is customary on Monday Nights, I’ve got to take off and won’t be able to watch the RAW main event. I’ll turn it over to this week’s BWF guest host, Drowgoddess. Take it away, Drow!
Hi!
We get a recap of The Miz (and he’s awesome!) winning the US title from Kofi Kingston. Then we actually get The Miz, title and mic in hand. He tells us to show some respect to the new United States Champion. He asks if he’s bragging too much, and says to get used to it. At “Bragging Rights,” The US Champ from RAW faces the Intercontinental Champ from Smackdown, John Morrison. John Morrison was nothing more than a hairdo with abs. The Miz was the talent of their tag team. Morrison is the new Richard Simmons, who will wear bedazzled tank tops and hang out with 400-pound women while the Miz is the face of the biggest company in the world. Any promo by The Miz is, of course, AWESOME!
Cole and Lawler run down the matches from Smackdown that will be on the ppv card, then push the Cena/Orton 60-minute Iron man match.
Randy Orton & John Cena vs. Legacy: Orton enters first. We go to commercial. When we return, Legacy is already in the ring. Orton has the mic, and says that he just got off the phone with Snoop Dogg, next week’s guest host. Snoop agreed that since it may be Cena’s last RAW, Cena will compete in one of the biggest matches of his career next Monday night. Cena enters, and the roof is blown off. Orton jumps down off the apron and stares at Cena. Legacy bicker in their corner before DiBiase and Cena lock up. Actual mat grappling for a bit. DiBiase drives Cena into the corner with kicks and punches, and Rhodes wrenches Cena’s neck. Legacy double-teams Cena. DiBiase and Cena again. Punches fly. Rhodes locks in a variation of the Camel Clutch on Cena. After this match, we will learn who Cena’s opponent next week is. Rhodes works the submission holds, but Cena stands and plants Rhodes. Cena tags Orton in when Orton glances down, and Cena stays far away from Orton. Orton has to wrestle Rhodes, and Rhodes tries to pin Orton! Cena loves it, and Orton is surprised. DiBiase tags in and tries to pin Orton repeatedly. Orton tags Cena in, and they make constipated faces at each other. Cena lays out DiBiase, and prepares for the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton tags in right then. DiBiase tags in, and pins Orton! Orton is livid and stunned. Cena waits for Orton, and hits him with the Attitude Adjustment when he finally turns around.
Winners: Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr. pinned Randy Orton)
The huge announcement of John Cena’s opponent for his possible last match ever on RAW? Triple H. No, really, it is.
Peace out!
(P.S. from ThinkSoJoE – thanks to all of you from the Twitterverse who kept me entertained through this show!)
Well, well, well look at what we have here another wwk gone by and now another week of you all reading my thoughts as we come closer to the 1 year anniversary of this very article. So without further ado, whether you cross the line, get extreme, put up with RAW or layeth the Smackdown, lets get this show on the road: (more…)