Tag Archive: Chris Jericho

  1. WWE RAW results 11/9/09

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    @robbyfischer @BrdWrstlngFn I got a beer ready. 🙂 Oh how I miss Austin.

    While I may not be able to drink tonight, the beer will likely be flowing tomorrow night when yours truly and BWF’s Random Redhead JT get an early start on our birthday celebrations tomorrow night.  For tonight though, it’s time for RAW in Sheffield, England!

    @BigBBrown Adolf Hitler will be guest hosting Monday Night Nitro tonight live from Hell.

    @RDLee This tweet better make it in the review!!!!!! #BWF – just because we like you.

    Last week: Chris Jericho and The Big Show destroyed John Cena and DX.

    RAW still wants to be loved – at least, until next week.  We’re live from Sheffield, England, and @ClubWWI’s @aaron24wood is in the house!

    Ricky Hatton kicks things off as tonight’s guest host.  He brags about winning a world title in the same building a few years ago, and then he’s interrupted by the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, JeriShow, both of whom tower over him.

    @IVHORSEMEN Damn Ricky been eating good #wwe #bwf

    @_MFS_ good thing I’ve got an energy drink, it’ll keep me awake through the obligatory ‘interrupt the guest host to demand stuff’ start 2 #RAW #BWF

    @cmpg Is Jericho and Big Show the unofficial welcoming committee for each new guest host? #WWE #RAW #BWF

    Show makes fun of Hatton for being short, and Hatton says he loved it when Show got beaten by a boxer.  Show offers Hatton a free shot.  Hatton says he needs to get a ladder first.  Show kneels down and is still almost as tall as Hatton.  Hatton goes for the free shot, but Jericho stops him.  Jericho says that Show has enough to worry about with Undertaker and Jericho as his opponents at Survivor Series.  Show questions him and Jericho brags about the roll he’s been on.  Show says he’s the only one walking out as World Heavyweight Champion at Survivor Series.  Hatton makes a match for tonight – JeriShow vs. DX.  Jericho says he’s just as bad as all the fans, as only Jericho can.  Hatton tells him to speak English.  Jericho says he is speaking perfect English.  Hatton says he’s just a guy with a bad haircut.

    BREAK IT DOWN!

    DX arrive on the scene.  They tell JeriShow that they’re lucky DX came to save them from getting knocked out by Hatton.  Triple H tells Hatton that they’ll take care of the Honey Monster and Mr. Bean tonight.  HBK says to forget about tonight, how about right now?  He knocks Jericho out of the ring, and Show rolls up his sleeves as though he were going to take on all three of them, but he bails.  DX and Hatton do the “two words” shtick and set off the pyro.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @spicypeanut HHH is speaking about humiliation while wearing spandex underwear while speaking to two men in nice suits. Hey Trips? Are you ok?

    Last week: Alicia Fox won a Diva’s Boring Royal.

    Kelly Kelly heads to the ring, and she’s got Gail Kim with her for some reason.  Alicia Fox is her opponent, and has Jillian with her for some reason.  Fox will be getting her Diva’s Championship match next week from Madison Square Garden, which will be attended by @steverechtman.

    Alicia Fox def. Kelly Kelly

    If you want a review of this match, I’ve got two words for ya.  “Who Cares?”  Fox wins with the scissor kick.

    @fozzyfan RT @WellYoureWrong: I’m convinced Kelly Kelly has no soul. #wwe <– Or brain, or talent, or…

    Ricky Hatton introduces his kid to John Cena, who says Hatton is doing an awesome job, but complains that he’s not booked.  Hatton says somethingorother that I couldn’t be arsed to pay attention to.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @AndrewJanus god in heaven…he let his son out of the house dressed like that? #WWE #RAW (Hatton’s kid was wearing a bunch of John Cena and DX merch)

    @x_tialicia yuck, Cena is on my tv screen. back to reading Cosmo. #WWE

    Last Monday: Sheamus damn near killed Jamie Noble.

    Speaking of Sheamus, he’s here!  He’s also a part of Team Miz at Survivor Series.  It’s Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, and Drew McIntyre vs. John Morrison, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Evan Bourne, and Matt Hardy.  Sheamus says that last week he said he’d end Jamie Noble’s career, and he did.  Right now, he’ll do what the Irish have always done – walk through this Englishman and make him look like a fool

    Sheamus vs. some English dude

    Poor English dude, he doesn’t even get a name.  Sheamus destroys him with ease.

    Still to come, Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton, and DX vs. Jeri-Show.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @NiKiharu How to beat Sheamus: Wrestle during the day. He won’t show up.

    The Bella Twins are sucking up to Ricky Hatton backstage.  I still can’t understand a word this guy is saying.  They challenge him to a game of darts, when Santino shos up dressed like a fat boxer.  Santino says his name today is Ricky Fatton.  Chavo Guerrero shows up and accuses Santino of sucking up.  Chavo says he can beat Hatton at anything.  He throws a dart and nearly misses the board, while Hatton gets a bullseye.  Chavo says he’s not here to play darts, he’s here to challenge Santino.  Hatton says we’ll do boxer vs. wrestler, Chavo vs. Ricky.  Not Ricky Fatton, Ricky Hatton.

    Look at this tool.

    Look at this tool.

    The tool, Josh Matthews, is standing by with The Miz, and wondering how he thinks he’ll be successful at Survivor Series?  Miz reminds us that he’s the only person from RAW to win his Bragging Rights match last month, beating captain John Morrison.  Jack Swagger interrupts.  He says Miz is in awe of Jack Swagger, and brags about being undefeated.  Miz should watch what he does to Evan Bourne.  They do a babbling argument promo and I lose track of it.  Really.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @DCsPeoplesChamp I wonder how many takes it took for Hatton to get a bullseye…Santino still owns! #bwf

    @xsmoothx #RAW You’re watching Monday Night REALLLLLLLY!!!!

    @legendkiller515 raw is getting real stale real fast

    I agree with @legendkiller515 (no, that’s not BWF’s Legend Killer, if you’re wondering), this show is getting real stale real fast.  Maybe this guy can make it better – Evan Bourne hits the ring, and he’s set to job to The All American American, Jack Swagger.

    Evan Bourne def. Jack Swagger

    As Swagger is dominating this match, The Miz makes his way to the ring.  Swagger tries to show off, but he gets kneed in the skull by Bourne, who hits the Shooting Star Press for the win!?!

    After the match, Miz says he’s the team captain at Survivor Series, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!

    Mark Henry is up next!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @jswrestling It’s still hard for me to believe that Mike from The Real World Season 10 is our US Champion. He’s come a long way.

    @_MFS_ So Mark Henry was either doing push ups while standing up or trying to push over a brick way, either way… FAIL #WWE #RAW #BWF

    Two weeks ago: Yours truly was subjected to the terrible guest hosting of Kyle Busch and Joey Lagano.  Busch, in the RAW car, won at Texas.  Whatever that means.

    I thought we were going to have a match.  but apparently it’s the VIP Lounge with MVP and Mark Henry.  They’re in yet another traditional Survivor Series match – Kofi Kingston captains Christian, MVP, Mark Henry, and R-Truth against Randy Orton’s team featuring Legacy, William Regal, and CM Punk.  MVP does the usual VIP Lounge spiel.  Mark Henry introduces their guest, Kofi Kingston.  JAMAFRICAN ME CRAZY, KOFI!  They take turns putting each other over.  Randy Orton and Legacy crash the VIP Lounge after intimidating the bouncer.  Orton calls them a bunch of low class street thugs.  Mark Henry stole a victory, MVP is the definition of the common criminal, and Kofi Kingston should be in jail for what he did to Orton’s car.  The only reason Orton hasn’t done anything is because he wants to embarrass Kofi and his team at Survivor Series.  Legacy mock the VIP Lounge, and Orton says that they were born into this business and belong here.  The only place Henry, MVP, and Kingston belong is the hood where they came from.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @MissieBird Oh no he didn’t! (at least he didn’t say the only place you belong is in the back of the bus… )

    Randy Orton def. Mark Henry

    This match is already going on when we come back, and the two combatants’ respective allies are ringside.  In the end, Orton drops an RKO out of nowhere for the victory.

    After the match, Kofi comes in to check on Henry.  Orton slaps him, but Kingston slaps him right back.

    Up next, Ricky Hatton faces Chavo Guerrero.  Joy.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @_MFS_ I honestly fell asleep during that last match, woke up when my upstairs neighbor dropped something #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @AlyKat_730 … *sighs* I don’t want to watch the main event… and I don’t really wanna watch the boxer v wrestler match.

    @chjpacheco #BWF raw has lost it’s step its always boring

    The new RAW theme that we told you about two weeks ago is debuting next week.  When did Nickelback become the number one band in America?  First of all, they suck.  Second of all, they’re Canadian.

    OOOH, JOBBO!

    Chavo’s here, and at least he’s not singing.  Ricky Hatton is here dressed like a Mexican.  Seriously.  Cole even calls him “The Manchester Mexican.”  I don’t know if that’s a real thing or not, but it’s ridiculous.  Hatton can only win by knockout, Guerrero only by pinfall or submission.

    Ricky Hatton def. Chavo Guerrero

    Guess what happened?  Hatton punched Guerrero and won the match by knockout.  Cole says it’s 33 knockouts now for Hatton, as if it actually counts.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    @swimbabe5409 Wtf? Wwe really needs to give @mexwarrior the push he deserves!

    @TheGiorgis I’m watching Ricky Hatton vs Chavo Guerrero on RAW. WHY???????

    John Cena tries to convince Hornswoggle to stop wearing DX gear.  DX shows up, and give Cena the third degree.  Cena tells them they should focus on their tag match tonight.  They turn “Tweeting” into some kind of gay joke.  Thanks Trips.  I’m sure all of these folks that were mentioned in this post so far appreciate that.  Anyways, DX ask where Hornswoggle is, and Cena calls for him.  Hornswoggle comes out from hiding dressed like Cena and does the “Can’t see me” thing.  DX leaves and Hornswoggle takes the cena gear off and has his DX gear still on under it.

    The Big Show and Chris Jericho take on DX, NEXT!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Well folks, each and every week, I have to work Monday Nights and it makes me miss the end of the show, and we, like the WWE, have a guest host for Monday Night RAW.  Well, tonight is a historic night for BoredWrestlingFan – it’s the first time since we started doing the guest host thing that we’ve got somebody who isn’t a writer for the site taking over.  Volunteering for the guest hosting spot this week is one of our Twitter followers, @aemckay!

    Cena is with Cole and The King and they discuss Hornswoggle as DX enter the ring.

    Michaels and Jericho start the match with some back and forth running strikes. HBK tags in Hunter, who Whips Jericho into the corner. Jericho fights back and backs HHH into the opposite turnbuckle. Jericho hits an Irish Whip and on his way back HHH strikes him with a high knee. Jericho tries again and gets thrown out of the ring as we go to a break.

    We come back to find Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels in the ring. Jericho slaps Michaels, then tags in Big Show. Show chokes him and then launches him into the ropes. Michaels counters, goes to pin, and gets thrown off. Big Show gets up, headbutts HBK, walks over him and then tags Jericho back in. Jericho grinds HBK down with some grapples and then tags Show back in. Show brings HBK into the middle of the ring and he jumps in to take HHH.

    Show throws HHH to the ropes, goes to anticipate a clothesline and gets a jumping knee for his troubles. HHH then attempts a Pedigree and is thrown over Shows back. Show then takes him to the corner and tags Jericho back in. Jericho kicks HHH, showboats, and then locks in a sleeper hold.

    HHH slowly gets up and breaks it, but Jericho knocks him back down. He mocks Micheals then pins Hunter for a 2 count. Jericho tags Show back in and they use HHH’s legs like he was a wishbone. While he’s still on the ground Show walks over then stands on HHH.

    Show takes HHH into a turnbuckle, then another, before Hunter tries to fight back. Show knocks him down again and then splashes him, getting a 2 count. Show then grips HHH’s mid section as Jericho talks smack, and Cena quotes him as calling Show “a giant destroyer”.

    Show brings HHH up, chops him then tags Jericho in. HHH and Jericho have some back and forth punching until Jericho backs him into the corner and beats on him. Jericho takes HHH to the other corner, goes to Irish Whip him, but HHH gets in a spinebuster. HHH crawls to HBK for a tag, who gets in some vintage running stikes and a kip up, before knocking Show off the apron. Michaels then goes to the top rope for a flying elbow drop, tries to hit a Sweet Chin Music, Jericho counters into a Walls Of Jericho attempt, but HBK fights it off.

    Show then comes in as they go into a corner, squashing them both. HBK turns round as Show tries to KO punch him, but HBK ducks and hits Jericho. HHH then takes Show out of the ring and Michaels gets the win.

    Justin Roberts then cuts the DX music off to announce that hes just been informed that next week’s main event on RAW will be a triple threat tag team match. It will be D-Generation X vs Chris Jericho & Big Show vs John Cena and his partner…

    Cena is standing on top of the announcers table with a smile on his face as we hear a gong sound and the lights go out. We then see flames and smoke at the top of the ramp and The Undertaker appears. DX and Jeri-Show look puzzled as Cena looks confident and ‘Taker stares them all down.

    Michael Cole then hypes up the fact it will be at Madison Square Garden next week. He fails to mention the good news of Roddy Piper being the guest host and the bad news of Nickleback’s song being the new RAW theme. That’s Monday Night Raw for another week. It was a decent back and forth tag match but it seemed a little short. I’m sure next week will make up for that though.

    Thanks to @aemckay and all the rest of the twitterverse who made it into this week’s RAW review!

  2. SmackDown results/thoughts for 11/6/09

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    I was sick yesterday and I’m just now sitting down to watch SmackDown. So we’re gonna do things a little differently this week – I’m going to watch the show, and I’ll post my thoughts and the match results afterwards. Ready? Here we go.

    WWE SmackDown Episode 533: “I Walk Alone”

    (more…)

  3. WWE SmackDown results 10/30/09

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    I just saw a mouse run by.  Seriously.  That’s my intro for tonight’s SmackDown review.  “I just saw a mouse run by.”  Actually, I wanted to try and catch it and put it outside (I’m a humanitarian, I guess.  Or I just have a soft spot for rodents, since I used to have pet rats.  Hey, just like Bad News Brown when he was feuding with Jake Roberts!), but I couldn’t find him by time I bothered to get up to look.  Anyways, if you guys like Michael Jackson, “This Is It” is not only a great movie, but it’s the reason I’m doing this review after SmackDown airs here in the United States instead of before like I usually do.

    Ok, enough stalling.  SmackDown episode number 232:  “I’ll give you something to brag about.”

    (more…)

  4. More RAW bonus content!

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    Alright, I’ll admit, I still haven’t had a chance to fire up the DVR.  I did actually take a moment to read Drowgoddess’s excellent review from last night, and I can give a little more detail of what didn’t make TV.  There wasn’t much that I didn’t mention last night, but here’s a few things – and something a little special, a BWF exclusive…

    Before his match with Kofi Johns– er… Kingston, rather, Chris Jericho insulted the Buffalo fans and sports teams.  The fans chanted “YOU SUCK” at him, but Jericho says “I couldn’t possibly suck, because I’m not from Buffalo.”

    Speaking of Buffalo’s sports teams, during the break after Kofi destroyed Orton’s car, while Orton was pouting about it in the ring, one of the Buffalo Bills offered him a tissue from the front row.

    Jamie Noble got a little mic time, he said he’s just like the Buffalo Bills, and that when people tell him he’s too small, he points out how Doug Flutie had some NFL success.  I guess that was supposed to be an insult, but nobody in Buffalo has given a crap about Doug Flutie since he left.

    The opening segment must have been boring.  A whole section of the video wall entrance thing fell asleep.

    There’s always the joke to be made that Bob Holly should have came back as “Sparky Plugg” for the night with Kyle Busch and Joey Logano hosting, but fear not – Holly was indeed there, as evidenced by this photo:

    Those DX glow sticks are $15 at the merch tables.  Despite the fact you can buy a package of glow sticks at the Dollar Tree for 1/15 of that cost.  Doesn’t stop people from buying them though.

    And here’s something very special for you guys.  This is EXCLUSIVE to BoredWrestlingFan.com (though, I suppose that it’s property of World Wrestling Entertainment, and it will certainly be removed if I get a letter like the one Hornswoggle got last night).  This is the very end of the dark main event of last night’s show!

    Get the Flash Player to see this video.


  5. CM Punk’s Birthday RAW! 10/26/09

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    BWF Founder and Fearless Leader ThinkSoJoE is live in attendance at tonight’s RAW! He has left your Empress of “iMPACT” in charge. Be afraid! Join your Reina of RAW, and let’s check out the “Bragging Rights” fall-out. (more…)

  6. Random Randomness

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    What’s kiddies and non kiddies and welcome to another edition ot the criticially acclaimed and contraversial Abraham Washington Show Random Randomness hosted be none other than well me.  Well then without further holdup, lets get this show on the road will ya: (more…)

  7. SmackDown review 10/23/09

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    Tonight, The Undertaker defends his World Heavyweight Championship against CM Punk in a submission match!  Will lightning strike twice?  We’ll find out tonight on Friday Night SmackDown!

    Following a brief promo video for tonight’s main event, the terrible new SmackDown theme plays and we’re live from the University of South Carolina with RAW’s announce team calling the action!  Later on tonight, it’s Batista and Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho and Kane.  Jim Ross isn’t feeling well.  The King says that it won’t be the same without Todd Grisham and Jim Ross – it’ll be better!

    Chris Jericho makes his way out first.  He’s the captain of Team SmackDown this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and this past Monday on RAW, they tried to ambush Shawn Michaels, but Team RAW arrived to deny them the opportunity.  Jericho says that his legendary status will be further cemented when he becomes known as the mastermind who led team SmackDown to a crushing victory over team RAW this Sunday.  He wins whenever he wrestles, his greatness is omnipotent.  In order to shut up DX, he needs to tweak his team a little.  He needs to know that the men on his team are worthy to stand in the same ring as Chris Jericho.  They’ll prove their dominance at Bragging Rights, just as he and Kane will prove their dominance against Batista and Mysterio tonight.

    Yo yo yo yo yo, it’s Cryme Tyme!

    JTG shows up without Shad, and Jericho asks if he’s in jail.  JTG says he’s got the flu.  Jericho says that being on the same team as JTG makes him sick.  Does JTG know what an honor it is to be in the same ring as Chris Jericho?

    EXCUSE ME!

    Vickie Guerrero, the official consultant for Team SmackDown, would like to welcome the future of SmackDown, her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar.  Escobar’s heard a lot of talk from DX saying they don’t know who he is.  Neither does the WWE  Universe, apparently, because they’re chanting “who are you?”  He says that after he leads the team to victory, DX will never forget the name Eric Escobar

    I am perfection!

    Dolph Ziggler says that if anybody is going to be responsible for this team winning at Bragging Rights, it’s Dolph Ziggler, and he’s not going to let any of them screw it up for him.  JTG asks what he knows about winning, when he lost four Intercontinental Title shots in a row, and then lost Maria.  Talking about screwing up?  His name should be Dolph Loser.   Drew McIntyre makes his way out and says that Jericho has an ace up his sleeve with McIntyre on the team.  Hand picked and personally signed by Mr. McMahon himself.  He says he should’ve been named captain.

    KABOOM!

    Kane comes to the ring, and he says that none of these guys are worthy to fight alongside Kane.  Jericho steps in and says “or me!”  Kane advised Jericho that, since they’ll be busy with Batista and Mysterio tonight, the other four of them should be busy too.  After all, they want to be on the team, don’t they?  Jericho says that since one of them called in sick, they’re stuck in a four on five tag match tonight, and if they lose, they’ll be replaced by the five men who beat them tonight.  That way we’ll see if you have what it takes to be in the same ring as Chris Jericho and Kane.  By the way, that match is NEXT!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Matt Hardy is on his way to the ring when we come back, joining a few other superstars in the ring.  R-Truth is out next, rapping and dancing as usual, much to the chagrin of Drew McIntyre.  Already in the ring for the team are David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and Finlay.

    Matt Hardy, The Hart Dynasty, R-Truth, and Finlay def. Eric Escobar, Drew McIntyre, JTG, and Dolph Ziggler

    There’s a new mandate here on BoredWrestlingFan.  Anybody who reviews a Matt Hardy match MUST comment on how fat he looks in tights, until he either loses weight or switches back to pants.  You know what, I figured it out.  It’s not that the tights look bad on him, it’s the fact he wears boots that are the exact same color as his tights and he looks like he’s wearing footy pajamas.  It’s distracting – I can’t even really call the match.  In the end, it’s Finlay with the shillelagh shot to JTG’s leg and a Twist of Fate from Fatt Hardy for the victory.

    So now it’s Chris Jericho, Kane, Matt Hardy, Finlay, R-Truth, and the Hart Dynasty taking on DX, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, The Big Show, and Kofi Kingston.

    CM Punk is telling Scott Armstrong that he doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation.  He says that Armstrong is being selfish.  It’s not about him or his family’s legacy, it’s all about CM Punk.  Teddy Long says he’s still on probation and could lose his job over this, and worse, he could lose his life if he’s not careful.  Punk wants to know why they understood what was going on in Montreal, but now they’re second guessing themselves.  Armstrong says that a man is nothing without his good name.  He says that Punk can find someone else to do his dirty work.  Mr. McMahon comes in and says “we need to talk.”

    John Morrison is backstage, walking.  Guess that means he’s in action, NEXT!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Later on, it’s Jericho & Kane vs. Mysterio & Batista

    Intercontinental Champion John Morrison and his cool slo-mo entrance are here for action.  Sunday he’ll be facing the United States Champion, The Miz.  The Miz beat Marty Jannetty on Monday with the Skull Crushing Finale.  Morrison’s opponent tonight is far from Marty Jannetty.  He’s Mike Knox, and earlier today, he said that blunt abdominal trauma is the worst pain a human body can experience, and then went on to explain why.

    John Morrison def. Mike Knox

    You know, Mike Knox doesn’t get enough credit.  I’m a huge fan of his, and I love the medical genius gimmick.  Morrison is very impressive as well, and in this matchup he uses his finesse and quickness to keep control.  Even after a huge boot to Morrison’s face, his quickness allows him to regain control in mere moments, and hit the Starship Pain for the win.

    Morrison takes the microphone and says that This Sunday he faces The Miz.  While The Miz is busy trying to prove that he’s Shawn Michaels, or that he’s not Marty Jannetty, Morrison knows who he is – the Friday Night Delight, John Morrison.

    Still to come, a submission match for the World Heavyweight Championship!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Backstage, the new Team SmackDown are celebrating when Chris Jericho and Kane come to congratulate them.  They expect the team to follow their lead.  R-Truth says to save the Patton speech.  They may not like him, but they respect him.  The all agree that they’re on the same page, they’re going to prove that their the superior brand this Sunday.  Jericho says he wants them to watch he and Kane destroy Mysterio and Batista the same way they’ll destroy Team RAW on Sunday.

    Mickie James is hanging out with Mae Young.  Michelle McCool comes in and says it’s nice to see Mae, but not so much Mickie.  Michelle says it’s a shame Mickie didn’t make the SmackDown Divas team at Bragging Rights, but Beth Phoenix and Natalya are so much more talented than her (ThinkSoJoE Note:  IT’S A SHOOT!).  Mickie tells Michelle to keep telling herself that.  The fact is that Michelle is scared because she knows Mickie is her biggest threat and that she’ll take that Women’s Championship from her.  Beth Phoenix comes in and compliments Mae and tells Michelle that she’s thrilled to be a part of Team SmackDown at Bragging Rights, but reminds her that she shouldn’t plan on holding the title very long.  She’ll see her Sunday.  Mae says “she told you!”  Michelle tells her to shut up, and gets slapped across the face for her trouble.

    Last week on SmackDown, Mysterio stole a victory – literally – from Batista.  Batista says his shoulder was up.  Rey says all he knows is the referee counted three.  Anyways, Mysterio and his family checked out the new Batista DVD over the weekend.  He says he learned a lot about his friend that he didn’t know before.  Batista says he wishes they put him winning the title at Bragging Rights on there.  Mysterio says that’s gonna be hard, because he’s going to win the title on Sunday night.  They’re in action, NEXT!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Booyakah Booyakah – whatever that means.  Rey Mysterio makes his way out for tag team action.  Batista follows soon after.  Jericho is out first for his team, followed by Kane, and we’re set for tag team action.

    Rey Mysterio & Batista def. Chris Jericho & Kane

    The story through this one is Mysterio being cut off from Batista and dominated by Jericho and Kane.  When Mysterio finally gets the tag, Batista explodes on Kane.  He drops him with a spinebuster and goes for a Batista Bomb when Jericho breaks it up.  Kane slams Batista shoulder first into the steel ringpost, but Mysterio stops him from going for the chokeslam – only to take on himself.  Batista uses the distraction to hit a spear on Kane and pick up the victory.

    Mr. McMahon says he’s excited for tonight’s championship match.  He’s proud of Punks accomplishments so far.  He says that Long earns a gold star for making this match tonight.  He tells Armstrong to be an impartial referee.  Mr. McMahon smells change in the air.  He says what starts here ends at WrestleMania sometimes.  He talks about Fan Axxess and the Hall of Fame.  He tells Scott Armstrong that his dad, Bullet Bob is quite a guy, and could be a candidate for the Hall of Fame.  McMahon tells him to keep that thought tonight during the championship match.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Mickie James makes her way out for Diva’s action.  Her opponent tonight is Layla.

    Mickie James vs. Layla

    In a less than impressive match, Mickie James picked up the victory with the Mick Kick.

    Video Package: Rest In Peace, Captain Lou.  We’ll miss you.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Video Package: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

    CM Punk, Teddy Long, and Scott Armstrong make their way out to the stage.  Punk says that he feels unstoppable knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that he can physically dissect and beat down everybody sitting in it.   He can reduce everybody sitting at home to tears in the blink of an eye.  But it doesn’t add up to how unstoppable he feels knowing that in a few moments he’s going to make The Undertaker tap out for the second time.  He knows it’s hard for us to deal with.  Punk says his bragging rights start right here tonight when he once again becomes our Straight Edge World Champion, and there’s not a thing any of us can do about it.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    CM Punk is already in the ring and he’s introduced by Tony Chimel.  The bell tolls and The Undertaker makes his entrance, and we’re set for our SmackDown main event!

    The Undertaker def. CM Punk

    The story of this one is Punk trying to lock in submissions as quickly as possible, but The Undertaker escaping before Punk can lock them in, knowing that if he gets caught in a hold, Armstrong could possibly ring the bell, screwing him again like he did at Breaking Point.  Frustrated by the conspiracy, Undertaker chokeslams referee Scott Armstrong.  Teddy Long starts to head up the ramp, and Punk catches ‘Taker with a few chairshots.  He asks Long to get him another referee and slaps on the Anaconda Vise.  Long starts yelling for the bell, but apparently only a referee can do that..  When another referee gets to the ring, Undertaker reverses the Anaconda Vise into the Hell’s Gate for the tapout victory.

    The Undertaker glares across the arena at Punk as we’re set for this Sunday Night at Bragging Rights.

    That’s it for me, folks.  I’ll see you later on as I host the BWF Bragging Rights Roundtable!

  8. RAW review 10/19/09

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    What’s up!  It’s Rizzle fo’ shizzle dizzle!  Whatever that means.  Snoop Doggy Dogg is your host (does he still call himself that, or is it just Snoop Dogg now?  In which case, does that mean he can’t perform the song “What’s My Name?” anymore, since it says his name is Snoop Doggy Dogg?), and word on the street is, there’s a former WWE Intercontinental Champion in the hizzle looking to shut up the United States Champion, the Miz.  All this and commentary from the Twitterverse, tonight!

    (more…)

  10. SmackDown review 10/16/09

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    Episode #530:  “SmackDown and Dirty”

    This week’s WWE SmackDown is dedicated to the memory of Captain Lou Albano.

    We kick off with the terrible new SmackDown theme song that is probably only used as a thinly veiled shot at TNA with the line “Do you really want to Cross The Line.”  Todd Grisham welcomes us to the University of Kentucky, where he’s hanging out at ringside with… Michael Cole!  Vintage SmackDown!  Tonight, it’s Batista vs. Rey Mysterio, and the return of The Dirt Sheet!

    You know it’s the Mack Militant…

    Teddy Long is in the house, and he’s excited about Bragging Rights next Sunday.  In the SmackDown vs. RAW main event at the PPV, he would like to ensure that SmackDown would be the dominant brand.  He introduces us to the captain of Team SmackDown, Chris Jericho.  Jericho heads down to the ring, and he says that Teddy Long has finally put aside prejudice and politics and made the right decision in naming him the captain of Team SmackDown.  As the face of this show, he needs to address the possibility of John Cena returning.  When Orton beats Cena, Cena will no longer be allowed to compete for the WWE Championship and will be banished from RAW, which means he’ll want to come back to SmackDown, but things have changed since Cena left, because Jericho is the man around here now.  Nobody has been more successful or dominant in the 10 year history of SmackDown, and if Cena wants to return, he’s got to go through Jericho.  Jericho is the cornerstone of SmackDown and the best in the world at what he does.  He’s the reason all of the parasites in the crowd are there tonight.  As the captain of Team SmackDown, it’s his responsibility to put together a team that will allow him to lead them to the promised land.  They’ll beat team RAW, who’s captains have written this “piece of Flotsam and Jetsam (referring to DX’s new book),” Degeneration X.  You know what Jericho thinks of DX?  He begins tearing pages out of the new DX book.  He says that’s what he’s going to do to DX at Bragging Rights.  He’ll open our eyes and we’ll truly see…

    KABOOM!

    Kane’s pyro goes off, and the Big Red Monster says that he and Jericho need to talk.  He’s been listening to Jericho’s every word, and he’s here to tell him that he’s now the co-captain of the SmackDown Seven.  Jericho says of course he is, he was thinking the same thing.  He was just going to announce that because the combination of Kane’s strength and Jericho’s intelligence means that the RAW team doesn’t stand a chance.  Kane says the book, DX, and all of Team RAW can go up in flames.

    Still to come, Batista takes on Rey Mysterio.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    The following contest is a Triple-Threat Bragging Rights Qualifying Match scheduled for one fall.  Chris Jericho is apparently in charge of all of these qualifying matches.  This one pits Finlay vs. Mike Knox vs. Dolph Ziggler.

    Dolph Ziggler def. Mike Knox & Finlay in a Triple Threat Match

    SmackDown has the best matches on all of television.  That’s through all three WWE brands and TNA.  In the end here, Finlay and Knox both went for cross-bodies, Finlay with Shillelagh in hand.  Finlay goes for a cover, but Ziggler pulls him out and covers Knox to pick up the victory!

    So far, the main event for Bragging Rights is DX, The Big Show, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, and Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Jericho, Kane, and Dolph Ziggler.

    Still to come, The Dirt Sheet returns!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    In the following tag team match, the winning team will both qualify for Team Smackdown.

    Cryme Tyme def. The Hart Dynasty

    You know what I don’t get?  Why they bothered to bring the Hart Dynasty up to SmackDown.  They put on great matches and all, but it seems like they’re stuck wrestling Cryme Tyme every week.  At this point, I think they’d be better off being the big fishes in the small pond of ECW.  It doesn’t help these guys that the Unified Tag Team Champions are also heels.  Speaking of which, why are Jericho and The Big Show never on ECW?  That’s a thought for another time though, as JTG picks up the victory by hitting Tyson Kidd with the Thugnificence after the distraction from Shad.

    So the match at Bragging Rights is now DX, Big Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston, and Rhodes takin on Jericho, Kane, Ziggler, and Cryme Tyme.

    Still to come, Batista takes on Rey Mysterio

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Chris Jericho is talking to Michelle McCool backstage when Teddy Long comes in.  Jericho tells her that Bragging Rights is important.  If SmackDown wins twice out of the three matches, they’ll prove their the dominant brand.  He says he can’t count on Morrison to beat The Miz, but he wants to know if he can count on Michelle.  She says she makes history and can beat any diva in any kind of match at any time.  Mickie James walks in, excited that she was excited to be chosen to be traded to SmackDown.  Mickie says that if Chris is looking for somebody to beat the RAW Divas, he should pick somebody who’s already beaten every Diva on RAW.  Michelle excuses herself but runs into Beth Phoenix, who tells her she shouldn’t count on hanging onto her title for long with The Glamazon around.

    Mr. McMahon is on his cell phone when CM Punk shows up.  Punk isn’t thrilled about the fatal four way.  Mr. McMahon isn’t either.  Punk says McMahon should do something about it.  McMahon says he liked the idea Punk had last week for a Breaking Point rematch.  Punk asks if that means the four way is off.  McMahon says it’s not.  Instead, Punk vs. Undertaker in a submission match with referee Scott Armstrong as the official and Teddy Long at ringside – right here on SmackDown next week!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    WrestleMania tickets go on sale in 22 days!

    The following is a Bragging Rights qualifying match, but first, here’s Vickie Guerrero, who is booed like crazy and doing her “Excuse Me” gimmick.  She introduces, making his SmackDown debut, her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar.  His opponent tonight is from Cameron, North Carolina and wearing the ugliest purple tights this side of Men on a Mission, Matt Hardy!

    Eric Escobar def. Matt Hardy

    Escobar looked pretty good here, virtually dominating Matt Hardy.  In the end, however, it was a distraction of the referee by Vickie Guerrero that allowed Escobar to slam Hardy shoulder first and roll him up – hooking Matt’s Barney the Dinosaur inspired tights – for the pinfall victory.

    The Bragging Rights main event is now DX, Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston and Rhodes vs. Kane, Jericho, Cryme Tyme, Ziggler, and Escobar.

    Up next, it’s the return of The Dirt Sheet!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    In a world full of winners and losers, two men have risen above to bring you The Dirt Sheet.  The United States Champion The Miz is introduced first, followed by SmackDown’s Intercontinental Champion John Morrison.  The st is split in two – one half is red (where The Miz is sitting) and one side is blue (where Morrison is sitting).  Morrison says he’ll prove why being the Intercontinental Champion is better than – hey wait a minute – The Miz has a championship!  Is that real?  Or did he get it on WWEShop.com.  The Miz is your United States Champion.  Not only will we determine which brand is superior, we’ll find out who was the superior member of the greatest tag team of the 21st Century.   They say that throughout history, great teams have split up with one member going on to greatness and the other fading into obscurity.  Like, Mork and Mindy – you know, Robin Williams and whathername.  Bill and Ted – Ted was in The Matrix, Bill was in the unemployment line.  Wayne and Garth, Regis and Kathy Lee, and of course, The Rockers.  When they broke up, Shawn Michaels went on to become Shawn Michaels!  Marty Jannetty went on to be Marty Jannetty (wah wah wah.)  At Bragging Rights, Miz says he’ll prove he’s the Shawn Michaels and Morrison will be the Marty Jannetty.  Morrison says that Jannetty never had cool merch like he’s got.  Miz says there can’t be two Jannetty’s so in default, Morrison is the Jannetty.  Jannetty says that there can be two Jannetty’s – Marty Jannetty and Mizzy Jannetty.  They then argue about The Miz’s dating life.  Morrison says the only thing Miz has done is conformed.  He had the courage to dress like a loser.  But now he’s some strange mixture of Michael Phelps, Mr. Ed, Pink, and Big Dick Johnson.  And when you put all that together, you get The Miz.  Miz laughs it off.  He says he’s got great hair, the women love his pearly whites, and he looks good in trunks.  Morrison says he looks husky.  Morrison says Miz isn’t fat, he’s husky.  The crowd agrees.  Miz says they’re just jealous of his amazing body.  At Bragging Rights, there will be no debate – he’ll prove he’s better than Morrison.  Morrison says prove it now.  Miz says he won’t do that in this second rate city in this second rate state on this second rate show, he’ll do it on the PPV.  Morrison asks if Miz really thinks that SmackDown is the second rate show?  RAW is nothing more than a cheap imitation of Saturday Night Live.  So if you want to tune in to see the amazing star power of Al Sharpton or Nancy O’Dell, go ahead.  Who’s hosting next week, Big Bird?  If you want action, entertainment, and the Friday Night Delight, you tune in to Friday Night SmackDown.  These people are tired of the boring Miz.  Miz says he’s the most entertaining and charismatic superstar in the WWE.  He’s the reason people watch RAW.  He’s the reason people are watching tonight.  He carried Morrison for two years, because he’s The Miz, and he’s Awesome!  Morrison says he’s the Miz and all he does is run his mouth.  Talk is cheap.  This is SmackDown, not RAW.  He won’t let Miz sit around and talk about what he’s gonna do.  He dares Miz to take a shot at him.  Miz takes off his jacket.  Miz decides that discretion is the better part of valor and leaves.  Morrison says “see you at Bragging Rights, Jannetty.”  Both men hold up their respective titles.

    Still to come, Rey Mysterio takes on Batista.

    Video package: The feud between Drew McIntyre and R-Truth.

    Truth is walking backstage, and he’ll face Drew McIntyre one on one, NEXT! in a Bragging Rights qualifying match.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Later tonight, The Undertaker has a message for CM Punk.

    It’s time to find out who the final member of Team SmackDown will be!  WHAT’S UP!  R-Truth raps his way down the aisle.  I guess they’re letting him backstage again, since he didn’t come out of the crowd.  Drew McIntyre makes his way out to the ring, and we’re ready for action!

    Drew McIntyre def. R-Truth

    Here’s what I want to know.  Why isn’t ECW upset that RAW and SmackDown are having a PPV to determine the dominant brand in the WWE and barely mentioning them?  Anyways, McIntyre works over Truth’s back throughout the match, eventually sweeping his leg out from under him while he was standing on the steel steps on the outside.  Truth couldn’t make the 10 count, and McIntyre wins by countout!

    So the Bragging Rights main event is DX, Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston, and Rhodes vs. Jericho, Kane, Cryme Tyme, Escobar, Ziggler, and now McIntyre.

    Rey Mysterio and Batista are backstage, and Batista isn’t thrilled about having to face his brother ReyRey tonight.  Mysterio says it’s cool, and come Bragging Rights, it’s all about the title.  Mysterio asks Batista to take it easy on him tonight.

    We’ll hear from The Undertaker, NEXT!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Video Package: Randy Orton and John Cena’s rivalry leading to their Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights.

    Rundown of the Bragging Rights card

    Video Package: The feud between CM Punk and The Undertaker.

    Undertaker says that history has a way of repeating itself, but not in his yard.  Punk, Armstrong, and Long have decided to tempt fate and wrest the holy grail from death’s grip.  Once you enter Hell’s gates, there’s no turning back.  At Bragging Rights, he’ll take Punk’s soul, and in one week’s time, he’ll give Punk his last rights.

    Rey Mysterio is out first for tonight’s main event.  Batista’s music starts, and I start to doze off a little.  Then his pyro goes off, and I wake up again.  Then the bell rings.  Here we go!

    Rey Mysterio def. Batista

    It starts off as a friendly match – until Mysterio goes for a 619 and seemingly lights a fire under the Animal.  Batista takes control and physically dominates – though he’s hesitant to do so.  Mysterio starts to use his speed to mount a comeback, and hits a 619, but when he goes for the West Coast Pop, Batista catches him and goes for a Batista Bomb, but Mysterio reverses it into a Hurricanrana pin attempt – which leads to the pinfall victory for Rey Mysterio!

    Following the match, Batista complains that his shoulder was up, which Michael Cole agrees with, but Batista still hugs Mysterio and raises his hand.  Batista applauds Mysterio’s victory from the top of the ramp, and CM Punk rushes in and drops Mysterio with the GTS before bailing through the crowd.  Batista runs him off and helps Mysterio to his feet.

    Next week, CM Punk vs. The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship with Scott Armstrong as the referee and Teddy Long at ringside in a submission match.

    My thoughts: Another solid episode of SmackDown.  Even the Batista/Mysterio match was pretty good.  I just wish I was more awake through it.  I’m a bit surprised at the team that’s representing SmackDown, but I probably shouldn’t be.  That’s it for me guys, stay tuned for Random Randomness from JT this Sunday and Bound For Glory coverage all weekend!