Chris Jericho Archives - Page 6 of 20

RAW 3.21.11

March 21, 2011 11:22 pm 3 Comments

Sorry about missing last week’s RAW everyone, but I started work Monday, and then spent the rest of the day at Universal Studios, where I mentally spent most of the day mocking TNA and the signs telling me to go watch it, and then forgot all about TNA in favor of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. BUT! I am here tonight!

There’s a rumor going around that Trish Stratus will be back tonight with Snooki and will team with her and John Morrison to go up against Dolph Ziggler and LayCool! But, is it true? I guess we’ll find out. Not only that, but what else is next on WWE Champion The Miz’s schedule on his way to Wrestlemania? I don’t know that either, so we’ll find out… I hope!

Also. Unrelated. Go vote for Chris Jericho for Dancing With the Stars, alright? You should totally do it. I did.

HOLY CRAP!! IT’S JR!?!?!?!

…. Or not. Fucking Cole.

Cole walks out in a fat suit, something on his leg, something in his mouth, a bottle of JR’s BBQ and a cowboy hat. Last week, Swagger put JR in an ankle lock? Is that what I heard? I kind of want to punch Cole in the head. Josh Matthew looks unbelievably bored. And Cole is hiding in “the Cole Mine”? Whatever. Coward.

It’s time to play the game…

Triple H makes his way down to the ramp, all authority and badass-ery, as usual.

I have to take a moment and say, the WWE cameramen are pretty fucking spectacular at getting some pretty badass shots of the Superstars and Divas. Definitely good at their jobs. Shout out to those guys. Alright, back to the facts now.

Triple H says almost twenty years in this business. It’s a long time. He walks out there and looks at everyone and wonders, could this be the last time he’s in that building? In two weeks, there is the defining moment of his entire career. In two weeks, it’s the defining moment of the Undertaker’s career. Everyone’s talking, there are signs. Nineteen and zero, eighteen and one. Time to end the streak. The whole world is talking about this match. Two icons clashing like never before, the Undertaker, Triple H, no holds barred. He has no idea what this match will take out of him, or how much it will take out of the Undertaker. He knows that neither one of them will ever be the same, he can assure us of that. This is the biggest match he’s ever been in in his life. That Streak of eighteen years is bigger than any championship, maybe all of the championships he’s ever held combined. And ending it will be a career defining moment. Before they go to the ring and tear each other apart, put each other through Hell, Triple H wants Taker to do him a favor: Come there next week, stand in the ring, one week before they collide, Triple H wants to look him in the eye, stand face to face, man to man, and Triple H wants to tell him what is going to happen at Wrestlemania. He is going to look Taker in the eye and tell him he will lose. Triple H will end the Streak. The thing is, when it dies, so does the Undertaker. If Triple H can’t do it, he will die trying. But Deadman, Triple H wants that one last opportunity, to stand face to face with you, like your song says: Ain’t no grave can hold this body down, right? When Triple H ends the Streak, that’s it. It’s done. Undertaker, at Wrestlemania, you go 18 and 1. Undertaker, at Wrestlemania, you will Rest. In. Peace.

Ted says one year ago, he was one of the rising Superstars of the WWE. He competed his first Wrestlemania match against Randy Orton. And this year, he’s just an afterthought. Well, he won’t be an afterthought anymore. He’s making his own opportunity. What if Ted takes out the Cerebral Assassin on live television two weeks before Wrestlemania? Then people will have no choice but to take notice of him, Ted DiBiase.

Ted goes to get in the ring, but Triple H throws him out and stays on him, taking a few hits from Ted . Triple H fights back and hurls Ted right into the steel steps. He throws the top steps off and bounces Ted’s head off the other set. Ted is then thrown into, or flipped into, the guard rail before Triple H grabs a chair. He drives it into Ted’s torso before hitting Ted with it once, twice, three, four times. He loses the chair, then stands over Ted for a moment, then eyes the announce table. Triple H clears the table of the monitors, then grabs Ted, gets him on the announce table. Triple H then makes the slashing motion across his throat and Pedigrees Ted through the announce table.

Tonight, John Cena is going to respond to The Miz’s attack last night, via satellite. And, not only that, but The Miz is going to “Rewrite Miz-tory” and change the face of the WWE.

@TKeep123 Teddy, Teddy, Teddy….. Taking on a #WM27 headliner 2 weeks before the match? Thought your daddy raised you better! #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@HitTheRopes Props to Teddy for having more offense against Trips than Sheamus did a few weeks ago. #JobbingIsPriceless

@SuperCoolBerry Oh so Cena “Bringin’ It via Satellite” now……he biting The Rock. Smh

We come back to Monday Night RAW with the new United States Champion, Sheamus in the ring!

United States Champion King Sheamus vs Evan Bourne

Sheamus starts out hard against Bourne and throws him to the ground before stomping away on him, using his knee. Bourne rolls under the bottom rope, but Sheamus grabs him and hits him with some hard forearms, sending Evan between and underneath the ropes again. Sheamus stops on Bourne’s hand, then throws him into the corner, but Bourne ducks a clothesline and kicks Sheamus right in the face. Bourne goes up to the top turnbuckle and misses the Air Bourne. Sheamus gets up and hits a Brogue Kick for the win.

United States Champion King Sheamus wins via pinfall.

Sheamus has a mic and says that he is now our new champion of the United States of America. He is interrupted by my favorite person ohwait.

Daniel Bryan says that one of the great things about this country is everybody gets an opportunity, no matter where they’re from. Bryan says that he wants to invoke his rematch clause at Wrestlemania. Sheamus shrugs, throws the title at Bryan, and then Brogue Kicks him in the face. Right in the face.

Tonight, a Wrestlemania Rewind from Wrestlemania 22, it’s Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio.

@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!! (Exit theme version)

@kickoutblog A kick to the face usually counts as a “yes” when someone makes a challenge.

@Whovian_23 You know I’m sure there was someone else in the Orton/Mysterio match at WrestleMania 22… #WWE #RAW #BWF

Randy’s getting out of his tour bus and Scott Stanford meets him, asking what it’s like for Randy to travel in the gorgeous tour bus. Randy says the bus is great, offers privacy, and lets him bring his family with him on the road. On this very bus is where he witnessed the birth of the New Nexus, and the footage he likes to watch over and over again are the ones where he dismantles the new Nexus one punt at a time. Punk has no one to watch his back, but insists that he’s still sick and twisted. But, Punk has no idea what sick and twisted really is.

Maryse vs Diva’s Champion Eve Torres

Maryse mocks Eve right as they start, and Eve mockingly claps at her, and Maryse says that nobody cares about Eve. Maryse misses a slap, and Eve connects with one. Maryse then tackles Eve and slams her face down on the mat a few times. Maryse then throws Eve into the corner, slapping her before sending her face into the turnbuckle. She digs her knee into Eve’s back , and then misses an attempted hit. Cole interrupts yet again, asking if we can get it over with as Eve hits a cross body on Maryse and misses a cover. Eve then sends Maryse’s face into the turnbuckle and throws Maryse onto the ground, kicking her a few times before hitting a clothesline. Eve then goes to hit the handspring moonsault, but Maryse lifts her knees. Maryse gets Eve up, then Eve counters, hitting something or another, and pins her for the win.

Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.

Cole keeps talking, and Eve is about to go attack Cole, but the bodyguard keeps her out of the way. Eve obviously wants to attack Cole and nearly slaps him. Cole then starts to climb out of the little glass room, he’s in, and then walks away.

Tonight, The Miz is going to change the face of the WWE by rewriting “Miz-tory”.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh My God! After two plus years of just wearing a shirt, Randy Orton is wearing PANTS!

@ThingsColeSays HOLY SHIT….IS HE WEARING PANTS? FIRST TIME IN TWO YEARS!!!!!!!!!

@Whovian_23 Randy Orton wearing clothes on RAW for the first time ever I think. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Again, WWE would never do something like this during a men’s match.

@CMPunkSays Once again, @MichaelCole attempts to bury an entire division in one fell swoop. #WWE

@KeepItFiveStar LMAO Maryse went in! “Nobody cares! NO BODY CARES ABOUT YOU HERE!” Speak the truth Maryse! Take down Juwanna Man!

@Niki_Sushi Oh, go the hell away, Eve. I’m sick of you. Give the title to someone who shows up more than once every few months. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes I totally forgot Eve was champion… Scratch that, I totally forgot there was a Divas Championship.

@Whovian_23 I get that @MichaelCole is meant to be an unlikeable prick, but it not good for business when a commenter shows no interest in matches. #BWF

Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater with The Corre vs Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina

Wrestlemania this year starts at 7 PM!

Santino and Gabriel start, and Santino gets Gabriel down. He sets up for the Cobra, but catches Slater as he goes to get in, only to eat a very pretty spinning kick from Gabriel. Gabriel goes for the cover, but Santino kicks out. Slater gets tagged in and dominates Santino before putting him in a headlock. Santino battles out of it and throws Slater over him. Santino tries to get to Kozlov, but Slater stops him. Santino gets away from Slater and Slater shoves Santino right into Kozlov. Kozlov gets in and immediately dominates, but Barrett distracts Kozlov. Slater hits something or another on Kozlov and tags in Gabriel, who hits the 450 Splash for the win.

Tag Team Champions Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel win via pinfall.

And now, The Corre attacks Santino and Kozlov.

WEEEEEEEEEELL IT’S A BIG SHOW!

The Big Show and Kane, however, seem pretty pissed off after what happened on Friday and both get into the ring, attacking The Corre and saving Santino and Vladimir. Show hits the knockout punch on Slater before focusing on Jackson. Kane’s focus is on Barrett. Santino checks on Kozlov while Kane and Show give Ezekiel a huge choke slam. Tamina comes over to get her boys as Kane sets the ring on fire. Not literally, of course. Santino and Vladimir thank Show and Kane for their help.

Coming up next, John Cena responds to The Miz’ attacks live via satellite.

@FrankWWEClown Somebody has a “One Man Rockband” sign in the front row. Get that girl some help, ASAP. #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi No matter what, no remix will be as amazing as JeriShow. Good try, though. #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Damn! Kane hopped on the ropes n shit. Show and Kane are NOT playin!

@HitTheRopes LOL, Cena is pulling a Rock and doing Bringing It Via Satellite #wwe

@HitTheRopes It’s quite obvious after seeing Cena being via satellite: @JohnCena fears @MikeTheMiz

Next Monday night, The Rock will be LIVE on Monday Night RAW!

Matthews says that next week, there will be no impersonations. What does John Plan to do next week? Cena says that next week will be epic. Next week, John will be face to face with The Rock. And if they do have a problem, then next week, that problem gets settled. Jerry asks if all the attention focuses on the Rock has taken his focus off the Miz and has he underestimated the Miz? John says he has and that’s why Miz has been able to attack him. He says the fact that he’s sitting at home is proof that Miz deserves to be the WWE Champion. It’s also proof that he claims he can change the face of the WWE. Miz dressing like Rock was one helluva stunt. He’s sure this celebration will be equally creative. He won’t be there tonight, but he’ll be watching. He hopes that tonight, The Miz rewrites history. Because at Wrestlemania, Cena plans on making history.

Cole takes the mic and climbs out of his little room, and says that Cena and the Rock have a lot in common. While they’re coming live via satellite, Cole’s there live in person. Coming up next, he has another worldwide exclusive, Mr. Lawler, something that we’re not gonna wanna miss, next.

@kickoutblog The Rock won’t even make it to WrestleMania after The Miz destroys him next week.

@kickoutblog John Cena wears his wrestling attire at home just in case the kid that mows his lawn starts talking shit.

We come back to Swagger and Cole in the ring together. Wow, this is the most screen time Jack’s gotten since… since… He was a member of the RAW Roster.

Swagger stands in front of Lawler as Cole asks for our attention. Cole says that he’d like to introduce us to the man who will train him for the Main Event at Wrestlemania, Jack Swagger. Last week, we had another worldwide exclusive, when he invited Lawler’s son to tell the world what kind of a gutless fraud Lawler really is. Cole was so touched by the emotional and heartwarming reunion, father and son together again, he wants to revisit it.

Cole quotes “ashamed of you”. Brian Christopher was so appreciative last week that Cole let him say what he did last week that he gave Cole a gift. Apparently, Brian Christopher gave him the Lawler Family Photo Album. Cole says that to understand what a person is all about, you have to go back to see the way he was raised. He shows a picture of King’s father. Cole says that he went digging for information and found out that King and his father are nothing but gutless cowards and bullies. People who talk a big game until someone steps up to them and puts them in their place. Cole says he’s going to put Lawler in his place at Wrestlemania. Cole finally realized that King, his mother, his father, and his son have one thing in common: the family is nothing but a bunch of losers. King takes off his headset and Swagger attacks him. However, King attacks back, dodging a kick and then bouncing Swagger’s head off the table. King then chases Cole, who runs right into a clothesline from Swagger. Swagger picks King up and puts him up against Cole’s glass box while Cole continues to insult Lawler’s family. Swagger then puts King in another ankle lock. Then Cole gets him in an ankle lock while Swagger rests his knee on Lawler’s head.

@TKeep123 Swagger smashing King’s face on the glass like he’s trying to use Silly Putty to lift a picture from the Sunday comics! #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@TKeep123 More Michael Cole… amazing how low they are going to help sell the Cole-King match. Is this really needed? #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

TheRealEvilNeo Oh my, @JerryLawler is going to kill @MichaelCole #ThereWillBeBlood #WWE #RAW

@JonHexLives Didn’t Josh Matthews used to wrestle? Why doesn’t he help out? #WWE #RAW #BWF

Cole apologizes, saying that he let his emotions get the best of him, and Lawler kept pushing his buttons and he’s going to try to contain himself for the rest of the night.

Snooki has been all over the internet about how she’s getting in the ring for Wrestlemania!

Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero and LayCool vs John Morrison with Trish Stratus

Morrison and Ziggler lock up, and Morrison starts to fight out, but Ziggler attacks Morrison. Ziggler starts to get Morrison up, but Morrison throws him into the corner. Ziggler kicks at Morrison’s knee and Ziggler goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Ziggler gets right back on Morrison and jumps on him before going for another cover, but kicks out. Ziggler gets Morrison in a side-headlock, but Morrison fights up to his feet and out, only to get a kick to the stomach. Ziggler Whips Morrison, who ducks it, and then hits a clothesline before flipping Ziggler out of the ring. Morrison goes to jump out of the ring at Ziggler, but McCool stands in the way. Trish gets Layla and McCool out of the way, then gets in the ring.

“I am now ordering this match to be a handicapped inter-gender tag team match. John Morrison will team up with Trish Stratus against Dolph Ziggler, LayCool, and Vickie Guerrero.”

Before the announcement is even done, Trish grabs Vickie’s hair, and it takes Dolph, Layla, and Michelle all to get her off.

@ThingsColeSays Hahaha. Cole completely forgot, like all of us, that Dolph was World Champion.

@kickoutblog Good God, that Trish Stratus magazine cover is a Photoshop disaster.

Morrison and Ziggler are still in the ring, and Ziggler with another headlock. Morrison fights out again, but Ziggler keeps a hold of his hair, only to eat another kick to the face. Ziggler rolls to his corner and tags in Layla. Trish gets in the ring too, and ducks Layla’s clothesline. Trish hits some hard hits right into Layla’s face, kicking her in the stomach before Whipping her across the ring. Lay kicks her, and Trish flips her into the ring before slapping her chest twice, three times. Trish then Whips Lay, who turns it and Whips Trish into a kick by McCool. Layla tags in McCool, who hits Trish right in the temple with her knee. McCool attacks Trish, and then drops her knee on Trish repeatedly. McCool goes for a cover, but Trish kicks out at one. Trish counters something with something, I missed it, and McCool drags her back to their corner, tagging in Layla. Layla kicks Trish in the stomach before going for a cover, only for Trish to kick out. Layla throws Trish’s face into the mat and shoves her with her foot. Lay then throws her back into the ring, tagging in Vickie. Vickie almost hits something, but Trish manages to tag in Morrison. Ziggler jumps in and eats a clothesline before a couple of kicks. Morrison then bounces his head off the turnbuckle and hits the flash kick. Layla runs around the ring and hurls Trish off the side of the apron, Morrison misses Starship Pain, and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag. Vickie runs in and goes for the cover on Morrison, with some kind of Cougar movement that made me gag.

Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler, and Lay Cool win via pinfall.

Remind me: Inter-gender rules. Shouldn’t it have been Dolph who pinned him, because he’s a MAN?! Just asking…

Still to come, The Miz is going to rewrite “Miz-tory”.

@TKeep123 Vickie pins JoMo ?? Umm..but in Intergener rules…oh, wait….this is #WWE. Nevermind. #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@kickoutblog Come on @ScottArmstrong_, Vickie wasn’t legally allowed to pin John Morrison. Mixed tag rules! You just screwed Morrison like you did Taker!

@iPrinceRyMoZ: You know your life sucks when you get pinned by Vickie Guererro… #Smh #WWE #RAW

@PricelessRKO JoMo really didnt need that on his record…smh #WWE #RAW #BWF

BRING ME SIN CARA! Please?

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio – Wrestlemania 22 Rewind

@kickoutblog Okay, NOW I’m excited for Triple H vs. Undertaker. WWE’s hype machine strikes again.

@KeepItFiveStar Wow. All these Superstars did this Taker interview in John Cena’s house

@CMPunkSays I want Sin Cara nowwwwwwwwwww #WWE

@JCenadotcom Sin Cara: the most anticipated debut since forever! Can’t wait!

@Niki_Sushi I SERIOUSLY wanna see Sin Cara! C’mon! #BWF #RAW

Orton and Rey go to lock up, but Rey wraps his arms around Randy and ducks it. Rey kicks at Randy, Randy kicks back. Randy throws Rey into a corner, Rey takes advantage with some kicks. Randy seems to be forgetting that Rey is small. Randy ducks a kick and Rey eats an uppercut by Orton. Orton then throws Rey right out of the ring, causing him to bounce on the floor outside. Orton climbs out of the ring and throws Rey back into the ring, going for a cover, but Rey kicks out at two. Orton drops his knee on Rey and goes for another cover, but Rey kicks out again. Orton puts Rey in a headlock and Rey fights to his feet before fighting his way out of it, only to get an elbow on his back. Randy throws him into a corner then puts him on the top turnbuckle. Rey fights Orton as Orton gets up and Rey hits the seated senton on Orton, only to get a scoop slam. Orton grabs Rey and pulls him back into the ring, starting to deliver that DDT, but Rey counters and gets Orton in position, but misses the 619, only to get hit with the DDT. Punk, however, interrupts on the TitanTron.

Punk is outside by Randy’s tour bus and says that he doesn’t know what sick and twisted is, but he does know that Orton has a very nice tour bus, and Punk can’t wait to meet his wife. Randy then takes off backstage and runs outside to his bus, starting to get inside, only to get hit by Punk. A woman begins screaming, and Punk tells her to shut up as Punk holds a wrench. Punk says that the voices are probably telling Orton that he shouldn’t have punted Nexus. Ain’t that a kick in the head? He then blows a kiss at Sam, who gets out of the bus and kneels with Randy when Punk walks away.

Up next, The Miz is going to rewrite Miz-tory.

@kickoutblog What’s the matter, Randy? CM Punk just wanted to introduce himself to your wife. He’s just trying to be courteous and nice.

@KeepItFiveStar That was a plan by the selfish Rey Mysterio. He paid CM Punk to distract Orton and flirt with his wife. What a horrible person

@HitTheRopes CM Punk about to show Orton’s wife his “straight edge” #wwe

@KeepItFiveStar Oh Randy, why did you even bring the bus? Don’t you know what happens in these situations?

@ImAMelFo If this was a real WM22 rematch, Kurt Angle’s music should hit any time now… #wwe #raw

@TKeep123 If this were the OLD Days…that Orton Tour BUS would end up wearing a green DX logo! #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@redsandman99 Orton don’t think that Punk is sick and twisted? Didn’t he see Punk crashing Mystero’s daughter’s birthday celebration? Or the Manson beard?

@seraphalexiel Randy’s just lucky that Punk didn’t go to his bus and introduce his wife to his sneaky penis

@Whovian_23 So if we believe WWE Randy Orton has had about four different wife’s… all named Samantha. #WWE #RAW #BWF

Next week, Triple H and The Undertaker will meet up face to face, and The Rock will be on RAW Live!

Alex Riley is in the ring and tells us his name is Alex Riley. Three weeks ago, he was fired as The Miz’ apprentice. But, lucky for everyone, he was rehired as the “Vice President of Corporate Communication”. Allow him to introduce the most must-see Champion and the best man at his wedding.

AWESOME

This Wednesday, The Miz is going to be on Conan on TBS!

Miz says that in the 1970s, people would travel great distances to say that they saw Muhammad Ali fight in person, and in the 80s, people would pay millions to see Michael Jordan in his prime play basketball. Now, in 2011, we have been blessed with the honor of watching him. When he first started, people didn’t take him seriously. Some people said that he was annoying, but now look how far we’ve come? Now, John Cena, like The Rock, hangs onto every single word Miz says. Last week, he imitated The Rock. He knows, it was good, got everyone. It was ironic, while there has been many wanna-be Rock clones over the years, the one person who imitated him correctly is one-of-a-kind, an original. He has rewritten history. Someone has come who has more charisma than Shawn Michaels, more physically something than Andre the Giant, more intelligent than John Cena and The Rock combined. He is the greatest WWE Champion in history. And, in the process, he has become bigger than the entire WWE Universe and every single one of us that’s in it. He has flipped the WWE since day one, and that is what he’s about to reveal, symbolizes and celebrates this iconic the WWE logo. He has flipped it in the form of an M. And that M stands for Miz. The time has now come. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to rewrite “Miz-tory”.

A drum roll sounds, and a spotlight shines over the covered thing in the ring. The cover is pulled away, and the WWE Championship is exactly the same, except the WWE logo is upside down. Miz lifts it over his head in victory. Alex Riley secures the belt around his waist. Miz says that this is what the WWE Championship will look like moving forward. It will no long spin like a toy, and we will look at it as the most coveted title in the world. Miz doesn’t plan on being a multi-time Champion, because he doesn’t ever plan on losing the title. Because he’s The Miz, and he’s–! Awesome!

John comes on the TitanTron clapping. He says the show was fantastic, moving, epic. He hasn’t seen something that emotional since the season finale of Flip This House. He flipped the WWE logo to an M for his name, because it begins with an M. The WWE Universe knows that Cena isn’t invincible, and knows that you should never make Cena angry. In thirteen days, Cena will make history at Wrestlemania. People come in and remove Cena’s walls. His living room got torn apart! Cena says that he was supposed to be broadcasting from his home, and he is. For the past nine years, the WWE has been his home. Right now, the two of them are in the middle of his living room, and he’s coming to take out the trash.

Cena heads to the ring and Miz and Riley prepare for him. Wisely, they watch every entrance they can see, but Cena comes on down the ramp. Miz is wielding the table as a shield in the ring. Cena runs into the ring and Miz throws the table at him. It’s an instant brawl as Riley and Miz attack Cena together. Cena fights back the best he can, but there’s a flurry of movement in the ring. When Cena starts to get advantage of one, the other jumps in. Cena gets Riley out of the ring and Miz heads out. Riley gets back in the ring and Cena locks in the STF on Riley. The ref climbs into the ring and tries to get Cena to let Riley go, but Cena holds fast. Miz comes back and Cena finally lets Riley go. Miz stands on the stage and watches as Cena locks the STF in again. Miz looks a bit upset and moves closer to the ring. Cena just waits for him, and then Miz walks out as Riley gets put into yet another STF. Two more refs join the first one and try to get Cena off of Riley.

That’s it for this week. Stay tuned for next week’s RAW!

Power Poll: 1/13/11

January 14, 2011 4:26 pm Leave a Comment

Oh how things can change in one weeks time! Once again I return to bring you this week’s power poll. Sadly, I am a little strapped for time and this will not be an animated gif version of the article. However, it will still be a nice look at the IWC’s perception of the top stars amongst the contributing websites.
(more…)

RAW 1.10.11

January 10, 2011 11:27 pm 3 Comments

Hello everyone! Terribly sorry about my absence the last two weeks, but things were crazy. Huge thank you to G for taking over the RAW review when my brother came in, and sorry about no RAW review being up last week. Turns out, the boss man, ThinkSoJoE, is having some computer problems, so no one was able to cover. BUT THAT’S OKAY! We’re here now! Or, at least, I am.

Tonight, Punk takes over as leader of the Nexus, and John Cena’s going to confront him for the first time since Punk showed interest two weeks ago! And I’ve been hearing rumors about a Hall of Fame nomination!

Strangely enough, we start out Monday Night RAW with a tag team title match! … No opening promo?!

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina vs ??? for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Before their opponents can even be announced, Nexus comes out and demolishes the tag team championships. Tamina is nowhere to be seen, and Punk enters the ring rather calmly, watching the chaos. Nexus clears the ring of the champs, thus answering my question about an opening promo. Turns out we’re gonna get one.

Punk says that he’s sorry and I notice he’s wearing black and yellow shoes. He says that the tag team title match is rescheduled for a later date. Ever since Nexus has made its impact on RAW, it’s been the most dominant force the WWE has ever seen. And, as scary as it sounds, they are even stronger now. He tells Nexus that each and every single one of them has the ability and chance to shine brighter than any other Superstar in history. He can give them the chance to succeed, and says that Barrett consistently failed at setting any kind of example. Two weeks ago, Punk single-handedly put Cena out of the equation. That’s right, their hero in all of his broken down hero will appear tonight. Cena will, he’s hoping, deliver a tear-jerking encore farewell speech tonight. Cena’s days of Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect are over, while Punk’s are just beginning. And then, the coup de gras later tonight, in an act of selfless leadership, Punk will make the ultimate sacrifice when he initiates himself the new leader of the new Nexus. But, he’s getting ahead of himself. His won’t be the only initiation tonight. Each one of the Nexus must prove to themselves, the group, to Punk, to these ‘worthless people’ that they have what it takes to belong in the new Nexus. If they all pass, the Nexus will be at the apex of their power, and they will not only take over RAW, but the WWE entirely.

Otunga takes the mic, damn it, and Otunga says that he speaks for all of Nexus and they would be honored to be initiated into the new Nexus tonight. Punk says that the honor will all be his. Punk starts with McGuillicutty, and says that he’s up first. He knows, Punk knows, the people knows, that Nexus is famous for these group attacks. They’ve beaten down Hall of Famers, the Chairman, and John Cena too. McGuillicutty’s initiation is to be on the receiving end of a beat down. Husky’s name is called and he’s told to start it. Husky looks at McG for a minute, Otunga takes the initiative and starts it, dropping him. Slater asks what the hell he just did, and Punk goads Slater into action. Husky looks at him again, and then drops himself onto McGuillicutty. Husky and Otunga move McGuillicutty to the corner, and Punk leads Gabriel up to the corner, where the Axe Murderer of Nexus Gabriel stands up and hits the 450 Splash. Punk kneels in front of McGuillicutty, and Nexus puts him on Punk’s shoulders, and Punk finishes it off with the Go to Sleep. Punk leaves, and Nexus carries the unmoving McGuillicutty off.

@Niki_Sushi ‘It wasn’t your turn! >:O’ ‘YOU TOOK TOO LONG!’ #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes David Otunga speaks for no one. Not even for himself. We all know, J-Hudson speaks for him.

@kickoutblog CM Punk is the only one with the right to wear pants though.

@StrikerSays Is The Nexus going to be CM Punk’s new SES? Are they all going to shave their heads?

@CMPunkSays Screw your tag team titles, it’s NEXUS TIME! #WWE

@Lunna1969 Isn’t that how gangs do their initiations? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@JonHexLives Nexus CM Punk shirts! #WWE #RAW #BWF

DAMN IT! R-TRUTH IS BACK!

R-Truth vs Alberto del Rio

If del Rio honks that horn one more time, I’m bitch slapping his face off.

Truth goes for del Rio, but del Rio moves, and Truth chases him, throwing him into a corner and then yelling WHAT’S UP at the crowd. Del Rio is sick of Truth’s shit and gets the momentum before going for a cover, but Truth kicks out at two. Is it just me, or does the arena look smoky? Anyway, del Rio Whips Truth, then misses a clothesline. Truth counters with a head scissors and then clothesline. Truth runs back at del Rio, and clotheslines him out of the ring, sending them both to the floor. The ref starts a count, and it takes a few minutes before either man moves. Del Rio attacks Truth, who attacks back. But, Ricardo Rodriguez starts yelling at Truth, and Truth gets counted out thanks to that.

Alberto del Rio wins via count out.

Del Rio takes the mic and says that’s another victory for him! But we already know that. We also know that his destiny is to win the Royal Rumble, and headline Wrestlemania. Okay, he knows that’s a different story, because tonight they’re in Nashville! The music city? Oh, you silly, silly, Americans. You don’t know anything about music. You don’t know anything about culture. Oh, del Rio, these people will kill you outside the arena. All they know is about their Justin Biebers, Idols, hip-hop, and that horrible and boring country music. This is a bad place to diss country music… In Mexico, they know about music. They know about culture. He says to allow a man with many attributes to show them real music, mariachi music! He motions to Ricardo and asks him to sing. Ricardo says that he can’t sing, probably thanks to that hit he just took to the face, and del Rio asks nicely. Ricardo takes the mic and sings La Cucaracha. Which I learned in Spanish. He’s really not that great at it, but I can’t blame him.

Two weeks ago, Punk gave Cena a Go to Sleep, and tonight, Cena is going to confront him. Holy crap, Ricardo is jamming. Tonight, we have to watch yet another John Morrison and King Sheamus match. Goodie. Why am I always covering RAW when people who can’t sing try to? Anyone remember Mark Henry rapping?

@KeepItFiveStar “And I haven’t even started yet!” You have started! You’ve been doin this shitty song for like 5 years!

@Niki_Sushi DAMMIT! Just when I thought I escaped it! Truth, how bout you go to TNA too? CAROLINA CONNECTION! :B #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Okay, if Del Rio starts winning every match by count-out, he’s going to become the world’s greatest asshole.

@typicalROHfan CAN DEL RIO RUN OVER R TRUTH WITH HIS CAR?

@JonHexLives I’m hoping Alberto Del Rio does at least one promo where he warms up like Ramses from NACHO LIBRE. #WWE #RAW #BWF

Jerry says that he’d be lying if he said he was fully recovered. Cole says that Randy will be sorely disappointed when he can’t take the WWE Championship from The Miz. Cole tells Jerry to apologize, but we have an email.

“Recently, Michael Cole has been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism. However, I support Michael Cole in every conceivable way. Even though, he’s a conceited, pompous, arrogant, self-centered, pretentious jerk. Okay, just kidding. The reality is that Michael Cole has done a phenomenal job and is the epitome of manhood. I wish we had more people like him, with the guts to stand up against popular opinion. Michael is an award winning journalist, a two-time Slammy award winner. He is witty, highly intelligent, and not to mention, handsome. Ladies and gentlemen, the highest honor one can achieve is to refer to themselves as a Cole Miner!”

Jerry finally interrupts, and my dinner stays in my stomach. Jerry says that he’s just received a message from the entire WWE Universe, and he quotes: “Will you please SHUT UP?” Really, Cole, nobody in their right mind would ever even think, say, or much less type, that Cole is handsome. What he really is is a coward. Cole says that Jerry can’t touch him or he’ll be ordered, but Jerry slams the laptop shut.

Cole says it still works.

“I assure you that Michael Cole is not a coward. And King, neither are you. That’s why I know that even though your body hasn’t fully recovered, you can’t wait to exact revenge. Therefore, tonight, WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley will take on the team of Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Randy Orton.”

Punk is backstage and says that McGuillicutty’s in and passed with flying colors. Husky’s next. His initiation, if he chooses to accept, is in his left hand. He will willingly, without reprisal, take three lashes from everybody, with… a strap? A belt? Something. Husky says he accepts. Punk tells him to take the shirt off. Husky takes the shirt off, and Otunga starts. Justin’s next, and doesn’t seem as anxious as Otunga was. Slater comes up, and seems more discontent with the belt than with Husky. Punk tells them to get Husky up and hold his arms. Then, Punk delivers eight quick snaps with the belt.

@RhymesWithPen CM Punk is treating Nexus like a frat, but lets be serious, no frat would ever allow Heath Slater to be a brother …

@KeepItFiveStar This is payback for the last week’s RAW/Smackdown with all that wrestling

@Niki_Sushi I have officially gotten to the point that until I see Cole, I literally can NOT hear him. I’ve blocked him out. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Just when you thought it couldn’t get creepier than the opening segment, New Nexus turns to S&M

@jaded_prinz Ugh Raw has now turned into mini Bondage bear porn featuring a submissive Husky Harris lol

@dasharpshooters I guess Husky couldn’t remember the safe word. #wwe #raw

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Mark Henry with The Bella Twins vs Ted DiBiase and Tyson Kidd with Maryse

Bryan and DiBiase start out the match with Bryan dominating. However, Bryan gets distracted and goes to take Kidd out of the match, but DiBiase throws him out of the ring. Kidd sneaks in a hit real quick and then DiBiase brings Bryan back in. DiBiase tags in Kidd, who keeps Bryan in the corner. Kidd distracts the ref, and DiBiase chokes Bryan. Kidd tags in DiBiase, and DiBiase gets Bryan in the center of the ring with a headlock. Bryan fights out and bounces off the ropes, hitting a hard clothesline on DiBiase. Bryan tags in Henry, and DiBiase tags in Kidd. Kidd runs face first into a clothesline, and then is head butted to the ground. Twice. Kidd crawls away and Henry runs toward him in the corner, but Kidd dives over and tags DiBiase in. They hit a double dropkick, but Ted is hit by a clothesline and Kidd is hit by Bryan. Then, Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the win.

Mark Henry and the United States Champion win via pinfall.

Later tonight, WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley will take on Jerry “The King” Lawler (again) and Randy Orton. We have The Big Show here tonight and we find out why next.

@kickoutblog No Jackson Andrews with Tyson Kidd, I’m sure that tells you all you need to know about his WWE future.

@TheMizMagnet: GODDAMN IT! JERRY! STOP FIGHTING MIZ! I HATE THESE MATCHES! *storms off* #BWF
@TKeep123 This whole RAW is from a bad parallel world.

@Niki_Sushi I’m not going to be happy with the Diva’s division until A) Bellas are fired for being stupid or B) Awesome Kong comes n eats them #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes A couple years ago Mark Henry would have been ALL over them twins. #wwe

@KeepItFiveStar Mark Henry continues to be a threat for the Royal Rumble

On NXT, that guy with the giant nose was eliminated, and Dolph Ziggler said that he was terrible, and basically sucked. Not like anyone cares about NXT.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, it’s a big show!

Between Alberto del Rio and The Big Show, we have been invaded by Smackdown. Awesome. And Show just wiggled his ass. I’m so sorry to that guy in the front row.

Show says thank you very much, and it’s great to be back on RAWR…er… RAW. He is here to discuss some issues. Number one is Wade Barrett. He finds it funny that last week Barrett is knocked out of Nexus, and this coming up Smackdown, he wants to knock Barrett out! Number two, the Royal Rumble. He’s letting every superstar know that they’re on notice. The Big Show is coming to the Royal Rumble and he’s not playing games, go on and main event Wrestlemania-

We walk alone…

Punk, Gabriel, Slater, and Otunga make their way out to the stage, and Punk looks at Otunga, as do the rest of Nexus. Otunga makes his way down to the ring, and this is apparently his initiation. He looks back at Punk, who merely stares at him, and then makes his way into the ring.

Show holds up a finger, and Otunga pushes it down and smacks Show’s ear. Show looks at him, and Otunga looks like he’s just offering himself up for a smack, but then Show kicks him and then throws him out of the ring. Show follows Otunga and chucks him over the announce table. Punk rips his shirt (DAMN IT!), and then delivers that massive slap on the announce table. Show yells at him, and then drops him right on the floor. Show slams Otunga into the steel steps, and then shoves him into the ring. He then choke slams Otunga. Show then delivers the knockout punch to Otunga. Punk, Slater, and Gabriel don’t move, except to raise their fists up. I guess Otunga passed.

Later, Cena will address Punk, and next up, John Morrison will take on King Sheamus.

@seraphalexiel I think you can get arrested for this type of hazing

@kickoutblog Seriously, if someone told me I could take 25 lashes from a leather belt or a 25% punch from Big Show, I’d ask for 50 lashes.

@KeepItFiveStar And now the WWE, and Jack Link’s present: Messin With Sasquatch

@RobMcNichol If Henry is Sexual Chocolate, Bryan Danielson must be Erotic Marshmallow.

John Morrison vs King Sheamus

Sheamus gets a good start in this match, but Morrison fights back, only to eat Sheamus’ knee with his stomach. Sheamus stomps on Morrison, and then continues to methodically pick Morrison apart before bouncing him off his knee. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus puts his foot in Morrison’s throat and then steps off, dominating Morrison. Morrison tries to fight back, but Sheamus puts a stop to that with his elbow in Morrison’s face. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Sheamus puts Morrison into a vicious looking hold that my brain refuses to give me a name for, but Morrison fights out, climbing up to his feet only to take a hit from Sheamus. Sheamus goes to knee Morrison in the stomach again, but Morrison goes for a cover. Morrison kicks out and picks up speed, getting the momentum. He this a heel kick to the jaw before Sheamus crawls into the corner. Sheamus, however, has none of that, and Morrison ends up on his stomach before kicking him again. Morrison plants his feet in Sheamus’ face, and then pulls himself up with a very on-PG pelvic thrust, but Sheamus shoves him out of the ring instead of facing up against Starship Pain.

Nobody tweeted anything that I could really use here, so here’s a picture for your entertainment.

We come back to Sheamus dominating Morrison again, but Morrison fights out of the headlock. He goes to Whip Sheamus, but Sheamus drops him onto his back and goes for the cover, only for Morrison to kick out at two. Sheamus holds Morrison’s head off the apron, and drops hard elbows onto Morrison before letting him roll back into the ring and going for another cover. Morrison kicks out at two again, and Sheamus puts him in another submission. Morrison fights to his feet, and then out of the hold, fighting back against Sheamus with quick punches and kicks. Morrison pulls Sheamus out of the corner, and then goes for the flash kick, but Sheamus ducks it. Sheamus runs across the ring at Morrison, but Morrison pulls down the top rope and sends Sheamus out. Morrison then jumps out of the ring, attempting a suicide dive, but Sheamus plants his knees into Morrison’s ribs. Sheamus then plants Morrison onto the steel steps, ribs-first, and rolls him into the ring. Sheamus gets ready to use the Brogue kick, but Morrison fell onto his ass, and Sheamus just kicks him in the back. Sheamus then puts Morrison on the top of the turnbuckle and climbs up after him, because this always ends well, , but Morrison drops onto the steps and puts Sheamus’ face into the steel post before hitting something I missed and winning.

John Morrison wins via pinfall.

Now we’re reminded of McGuillicutty’s initiation into Nexus, then Husky’s initiation, and then Otunga’s demise at the hands of The Big Show.

Punk is holding onto two Singapore canes, and says that Otunga did well and is in. Punk says that Slater and Gabriel’s initiations… He’s not going to beat them with the kendo sticks, my bad, and Punk says that they’re going to beat each other with the kendo sticks until he tells them to stop. Punk says he’s serious, and neither one looks like they want to do it, and this is going to be an EPIC LIGHTSABER DUEL! Neither one moves to do anything, and Punk just watches like, “you fucking babies” before he stops them. Punk says that if they’re not in, they’re out. He expects home runs from all his soldiers, so swing for the fences. Slater and Gabriel look at the frustrated Punk, weapons in hand, and Punk asks them if they’re going to hit him, then tells them to do it. They both drop the Kendo sticks, and then walk out of the locker room.

@TKeep123 Please…PLEASE hit Punk with those sticks! Get some balls! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@HitTheRopes It’s a light sabers duel. #StarWarsMeetsWWE

@Niki_Sushi Awwww! I’m so proud of Justin! Punk kinda looked like he was gonna eat their faces, though. #RUNFORTHEHILLS #BWF #RAW

@stephensonmc @JustinG_Nexus twirled his kendo stick like he was Obi-Wan #Raw

@YourBoyDrew So is anyone else convinced CM Punk runs a BDSM dungeon somewhere?

The first inductee into the Hall of Fame class of 2011 is about to be announced!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that the greatest accomplishment of his career was being inducted into the Hall of Fame. So many individuals, even in childhood, dream of competing in the ring, and less that 100 of them have been inducted into the Hall of Fame. Hall of Famers share qualities like skill, drive, determination, charisma, and the respect of the WWE Universe, and the inductee he’s about to name, has earned the respect of the WWE Universe. He deserves, more than any other, to be a first ballot nominee. And it is the Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels.

I think I’m cute… I know I’m sexy…

Holy shit, Shawn is there. I hate them right now. But it’s a personal thing. Just ignore me now.

Shawn takes the mic and motions for silence, but a one more match chant start-

Del Rio walks out, obviously not even caring. HE says his name is Alberto del Rio, and Shawn stares at him. Del Rio says that we already know that, and he, he is Shawn Michaels, the Heart Break Kid, the Legend, the Icon, the Showstopper. These people used to cheer Shawn. An HBK chant starts. Del Rio says but now, they cheer him. Which is greeted by a giant boo. It’s simple, del Rio says, that he’s the present and the future of the WWE. And Shawn is just history. After del Rio wins the Royal Rumble match, he’s going to win the Heavyweight or the WWE title, and after that, he will be known as the New Mr. Wrestlemania. And Shawn says nothing, just gives him a good dose of Sweet Chin Music. He then pockets his microphone like a gun, and makes sure his shoe isn’t scuffed up. Shawn then takes the scarf and dances his way back up the stage.

@FrankWWEClown Congratulations to @ShawnMichaels_ Can’t wait to be there live to see one of my childhood heros get inducted. #HBK #WWE #RAW

@Lunna1969 Omg I’m actually crying cause I’m so happy! Congrats @ShawnMichaels_

@TKeep123 HBK into the #WWE Hall of Fame! Works for me! Well deserved! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@CMPunkSays I am grinning my face off. #HBK #WWE

@Niki_Sushi I just joygasm’d right here. Very few people have done everything Shawn did and incited the same love and adoration he has. #ThankYouShawn

@Niki_Sushi Shawn, keep that scarf. You’ll need it for the weather down there. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Shawn Michaels didn’t plan on going hunting but he just bagged himself a wild Del Rio.

@KeepItFiveStar Alberto Del Rio and his scarf just got Sweet Chin Music! That’s unfair. The scarf had nothing to do with this!

@TKeep123 Is there anyone that doesn’t see Sweet Chin Music in ADR’s future? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Saiyavenger Sweet Chin Music. Still epic in ways even complex flippy-dippy finishers only wish they could be.

@RingsideRants ADR had time to shower and put a suit on after his match, but Otunga couldn’t even change his shirt?

Riley is excited about Lawler and Orton being in the ring at the same time, but Miz doesn’t seem excited, and asks what’s wrong with Miz. Miz says that in two week’s time, he’s attacked a Hall of Famer and defended his title in a match that people should be talking about. But no, people are talking about Randy Orton. People are saying that it’s a fact that Randy will win The Miz’ championship at the Royal Rumble. NO matter what he does, people won’t give him the respect that he has earned. Tonight, in their match, he doesn’t just want to beat them, he wants to demoralize, embarrass, and hurt them, so they can show the world that the only fact is that he’s going to be the WWE Champion for a very, very long time. Alex starts to say his catchphrase, but Miz stops him and says that catchphrases are for closers, and he won’t’ say it until after he finishes Randy Orton tonight

Cole is in the ring and says that they are about to be joined by John Cena. Two weeks ago, John Cena was assaulted by the new Nexus and their soon-to-be new leader, CM Punk. Punk interrupts from on top of the tron, which is pretty badass. Punk says that they are through talking about John Cena, and this is the CM Punk show now. What he wants to talk about is the new Nexus. What tonight has shown is that McGuillicutty, Harris, and Otunga have proven themselves strong enough to be in the new Nexus. They sacrificed themselves through their initiations, and now he is prepared to do the same. His initiation will be the ultimate sacrifice, and it is his hope and dream that through his sacrifice, it will prove that not only was he a member of Nexus, but he was their leader. Should he dive off this tro- Jesus Christ Nashville wants death. Fucking hell. Punk asks if he should break every bone in his body, rupture every muscle, and Matthews says no. So do I. Punk spreads his arms, and pauses. He says there’s one question he needs to ask: How gullible are all of you people? He’s wearing a bright yellow harness. He has two guys spotting him. He’s safer there than anyone in their seats. He then says what kind of an idiot jumps off the tron? Consider themselves initiated, Nashville, they are all the biggest, mindless, group of sheep – JERICHO! – he has ever seen in his entire life. The injured, but members, of Nexus make their way out to the ring, short Gabriel and Slater.

Punk is in the ring now and says that if anyone watching actually thought he was going to jump off the tron, they are stupid. He takes off his shirt, and says that as we can see, he’s wearing a safety harness, and then says that someone who would consider doing such a rash thing, is mentally challenged (still hating on Jeff Hardy! =D), and he is mentally superior. There’s never been a thought in his mind to jump off the tron, he doesn’t need their approval or initiations, and he is the leader of the new Nexus. Punk says that Cena is no longer there. He got rid of Cena.

Cena’s voice comes and Cena says that he’s there, on that big screen you were gonna jump off of. Cena proceeds to insult him and that kind of thing, and says that he is wasting everyone’s time. Why would he bother to give the new Nexus a physical imitation? He’s already given them one. He said he would get his hands on each and every member of the Nexus, and he di-wait. There’s a new member he hasn’t managed to initiate, and that’s CM Sucks. Punk says he’s not afraid of John, and he will not stand in his ring on his show and be intimidated by John. John says prove it. Next week, CM Sucks faces John Cena in a match. Punk says that he accepts. Cena says he was hoping that Punk would. All those things Punk has been saying about Punk, they’re right. If you provoke him, he’s the most animalistic, brutal, violent, physical man on the planet. That means, next week, Punk gets dealt with. As sure as Cena wears purple and the sun rises in the morning, Punk gets dealt with. Next week, it’s not about t-shirts and armbands, it’s about him whooping Punk’s ass.

Up next, the WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley will take on Jerry “The King” Lawler and Randy Orton.

@Niki_Sushi What kind of idiot jumps off the Tron?! Me: Jeff Hardy? #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar “What kind of an idiot jumps off the tron?!” Jeff Hardy

@kickoutblog Punk is gonna Shane-O-Mac it up there.

@CMPunkSays I really wish John Cena wouldn’t bury the best thing in the WWE. That’s just… it’s just wrong.

@ThingsColeSays “CM Sucks” has to stop.

@kickoutblog John Cena’s been watching George Carlin.

@JonHexLives It’s like indie Punk has come back. #WWE #RAW #BWF

AWESOME!

The WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley vs Jerry “The King” Lawler and Randy Orton

Alex Riley and Jerry Lawler start the match, and Lawler goes for Miz, who jumps off the edge of the ring. Riley takes advantage and knocks Lawler down. Riley tags Miz in and Miz knocks Lawler across the ring. Lawler gets Miz down on the mat and begins to pound him. Miz runs out of the ring, but Lawler follows closely. Lawler then bounces Miz’ head off the announce table before sending him into the apron, and then into the steel steps. Miz rolls into the ring off a punch in the face, and then Miz sends his elbow into Lawler’s face and tags in Riley. Lawler sends Riley to the ground and tags in Orton. Riley backs away from Orton who follows, upper cutting him in the corner. The ref has to forcibly remove Orton from Riley, and Orton goes back, Whipping Riley across the ring, only to get a kick to the stomach. Miz is tagged in and hit with a clothesline before Orton stomps on Miz’ face once, then again. Orton then stomps on his stomach and steps on him, tagging in Lawler. Lawler gets Miz to his feet and punches Miz to his knees, twice, three times. King proceeds to unload on Miz in the corner, the referee having to force Lawler off. Miz retaliates with a kick to the face, and then goes over Lawler and punches him repeatedly, having to be forced off by the ref. Miz then sends Lawler to the mat before putting him in a headlock. Lawler fights up to his feet, but gets a knee to the midsection for his troubles. Miz then hits his swinging corner clothesline, sending Lawler face first into the mat.

@KeepItFiveStar C’mon Randy Orton. How you gonna wipe your mouth before coming out to wrestle? Didn’t wash your hands or anything.

We come back to Riley dominating over Lawler, and Riley runs shoulder first into the turnbuckle as Lawler rolls over, and nearly goes to tag in Miz. Riley runs to Lawler, and gets punched in the face for his troubles. Lawler reaches for Orton, but Riley tries to get Miz. Riley manages to tag Miz in, and Lawler technically tags in Orton, but Orton never saw it. Miz sets up the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton gets in and manages to hit the RKO. Lawler goes for the cover as Orton hides behind the apron, and Riley breaks it up. Riley makes Miz tag him in, but Lawler manages to tag in Orton. Orton hits the scoop slam, and then the back breaker on Riley, all the while, keeping an eye on Miz too. Riley rolls under the ropes, but Orton grabs him and hits that DDT. He then hits the mat and sets up for the RKO. Miz tries to sneak in, but Orton sees him, and Miz slips back out. Riley stands up and tries for something, but Orton hits the RKO. Orton keeps his focus on Miz. Orton moves back and tags in Lawler while Orton stares at Miz. Lawler then drops his right hand on Riley for the win.

Randy Orton and Jerry “The King” Lawler win via pinfall.

Next week, CM Punk and John Cena will finally face off!!

Tonight’s RAW was made up for by the fact that del Rio got Sweet Chin Music’d by Shawn Michaels. And… I wasn’t fond of the main event, but I’m starting to get sick of Jerry wrestling. It’s a personal thing, I suppose. Anyway. We’ll see what happens next week! Later!

RAW 12.13.10

December 13, 2010 11:29 pm 6 Comments

Hello everyone! Tonight is that special night once a year where Superstars and Divas – and now Guest Hosts/Stars? – are given that award that they all hope to attain! A championship?! Don’t be silly!! The Slammy for… Whatever Category They’re Nominated In!! And, because someone, somewhere loves me, here are the categories and nominees!

SHOCKER OF THE YEAR!
The Miz cashes in Money in the Bank and becomes the WWE Champion
Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho in the head
The Nexus debuts
Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker
KNUCKLEHEAD MOMENT OF THE YEAR
Big Show unmasks a bald CM Punk
Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov
Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble
Lay-Cool gets beaten by Mae Young
DESPICABLE ME AWARD
CM Punk sings Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
Drew McIntyre faces and humiliates Teddy Long
Kane buries The Undertaker alive
Mr. McMahon makes truce with Bret Hart, then kicks him in the groin
HOLY %&^*%&* MOVE OF THE YEAR
Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with a leg drop off ladder through announce table
John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments
Randy Orton delivers an RKO to a flying Evan Bourne
John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz
GUEST STAR SHINING MOMENT OF THE YEAR
Wayne Brady gets RKO’d by Randy Orton
Pee-Wee Herman vs The Miz
Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho
William Shatner sings WWE Entrance Themes
“OH SNAP” MELTDOWN OF THE YEAR
Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies
Edge destroys the RAW GM’s laptop
Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with a steel chair
Batista quits WWE
WWE MOMENT OF THE YEAR
Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind with a lead pipe
Edge Spears Chris Jericho through the barricade
The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels in Michaels’ final match
John Cena counts 1-2-3 as Orton defeats Barrett and Cena is fired from WWE

As well as these categories, there’s also Diva of the Year and Superstar of the Year! But, alongside the Slammys tonight, we also have to find out what Wade Barrett’s decision is concerning Nexus. Will he rehire John Cena, or will he be outcast from the Nexus?

However, before RAW went on the air, the following Superstars won the following awards:

Best Performance By a Winged Specimen RAW Chicken
Best Use of Exercise Equipment Rosa Mendes – Shake Weight
Most Menacing Haircut Tyler Reks
Best Family Values Kane destroying Swagger Sr. as Jack Swagger looks on
Superstar/Diva Most in Need of Makeup Sheamus
The “Cole in Your Stocking Award” Daniel Bryan attacking Michael Cole on NXT
Outstanding Achievement in Baby Oil Application “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Frequent Tweeter Award Goldust
Best WWE.Com Exclusive Show WWE NXT <-Because this needed a category…
Most Annoying Catchphrase Zack Ryder’s Woo Woo Woo, You Know It

David Arquette is introduced, and says that there’s no one better to kick of the Slammy Awards than him. Arquette says that he beat Eric Bischoff, and then says that he should have won an Oscar for his role in “Ready to Rumble”. The first category of the Slammys is the Shocker of the Year! Is it The Miz cashing in on Orton? The Nexus debuting? Paul Bearer’s turn against the Undertaker? Or, will it be Randy Orton punting Chris Jericho in the skull?

Wade Barrett comes out and says nothing for a few minutes. Then, he speaks and says he accepts it on behalf of the Nexus. Of course, the Nexus wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. If he wouldn’t have won NXT Season One and brought them with him, then they wouldn’t have become the most powerful group in the history of the WWE. And speaking of power, he is the one man with the power to rehire John Cena. Of course, the other members of Nexus have informed him that if he fails to rehire Cena, he’ll be excommunicated from the group. That is, of course, the group he created. He hasn’t made up his mind yet, but he will be making his decision before the night is over. In the mean time, everyone can rest assured that Barrett will be creating many more shocking moments in the WWE.

“Mr. Barrett, I’m going to give you the opportunity to give us yet another shocking moment in a match right now against this man.”

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, it’s a Big Show!

Wade Barrett vs The Big Show

Big Show took Wade’s Slammy, and Barrett looks upset. Punk says that Show thinks there is chocolate under the Slammy, which is why he took it.

Show goes for Barrett, but Barrett ducks under the rope. And then again. Barrett then slides out of the ring and walks around it. The ref starts counting. Barrett gets back in the ring at nine. Show then fakes a hit and kicks Barrett on the stomach, then smacks him hard in the chest. Show then goes to do it again, but Barrett pokes Show in the eye. Barrett takes advantage and attacks the legs. Show misses with a right hand, and Barrett continues to attack his legs. The crowd has a Cena chant going, and Show swats Barrett away from him. Barrett gets show on one knee, but Show gets up and is pissed, throwing Barrett all over the ring, and then out of it. Show climbs out and smacks Barrett again. Barrett is thrown back in the ring, and Show makes his way in as well. Barrett rolls back out and grabs his Slammy. Then, he proceeds to walk out of the match.

Big Show wins by count out.

The Superstar of the Year Nominees are Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Edge, John Cena, World Heavyweight Champion Kane, and WWE Champion The Miz.

@Niki_Sushi ‘It’s not fair! It’s not fair!’ Bitch, this is professional wrestling, not dodgeball. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 did I just see ANGRY MIZ girl in the crowd??? #WWE #RAW #Slammies

Oh God. And again, the Diva of the Year will be determined in a battle royal… again.

Kelly Kelly’s presenting Despicable Me Slammy of the Year with Tyson Kidd and Jackson Andrews, or whatever his name was.

God, it’s been so long since I’ve had to listen to Kelly Kelly talk, and she still sounds disgustingly stupid. And I agree with Tyson as he congratulates her for using more big words right now than ever in her life. I like Tyson now. The nominees are: Drew McIntyre humiliating Teddy Long (I want this one, just for Drew to talk to me), Kane burying the Undertaker alive, Mr. McMahon turning on Bret Hart after seeming to accept him, or CM Punk singing happy birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.

CM PUNK!

The crowd doesn’t seem to know whether to cheer or boo him.

Punk says this just goes to prove that if you work hard and believe in yourself, you’ll make all your dreams come true. People ask him why he did it, and he did what he did because Rey wronged Punk, and when people wrong him, he gets even. Right now, there’s another individual who has wronged him, and he’s going to talk specifically to this person, so he wants them to watch their back, because he will get even. And if you think what he did to Rey and his family was despicable, you haven’t seen anything yet.

Kofi comes out, and Punk says that it’s his moment.

@WWEsAngel_Nef LMAO @ CM Punk #wwe #slammys Punk is fkn gold man!

@kickoutblog Quite convenient that the Despicable Me award is one day before the movie comes out on DVD.

@xescapeartists Did Tyson just make fun of Kelly Kelly? OMG TYSON. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. And Kelly, you suck on the microphone. kthnks.

@redsandman99 And the Bellas STILL think Daniel Bryan is the guest host!

Kofi Kingston and United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler and Ted DiBiase with Maryse

Daniel and Dolph start out, Ziggler with Bryan in a headlock. Bryan fights out with elbows, but Ziggler takes him down, only for Bryan to kick out of the cover. Ziggler tags in DiBiase, who holds Bryan against the ropes, distracting the ref while Ziggler delivers a cheap shot. DiBiase goes for two covers in a row, but Bryan kicked out. DiBiase tags in Ziggler, who runs right in and goes for a cover, only for Bryan to kick off. Ziggler tags in DiBiase again, and kicks Bryan in the stomach. DiBiase goes for another cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. DiBiase gets Bryan in a headlock, and Bryan kicks out, ducking two clotheslines, and then both men running into one another in a cross body. DiBiase rolled right out of the ring, and Bryan tags in Kingston. Ziggler comes in, only to get a bunch of kicks to the face. Kingston Boom Drops Ziggler and then calls for the Trouble in Paradise, which connects. Kingston goes for the cover and DiBiase just barely misses breaking the cover before the ref smacks the mat in three.

Kofi Kingston and the United States Champion Daniel Bryan win via pinfall.

Later to come, Sheamus and John Morrison meet one on one.

@kickoutblog But speaking of Despicable Me… IT’S SO FLUFFY!

@Niki_Sushi Vickie, Bellas, Daniel, Kofi…this could only get worse if Truth came out. #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef I love how everyone has a woman at ringside except Kofi. Maybe he should ask DB if he can borrow a Bella Theres enough 2 go around #bwf #wwe

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov are going to present Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year! Santino says that once again RAW was host to top performers in sports and entertainment. Santino says that Kozlov was humiliated by the cast of MacGruber, and then Kozlov says the time that he destroyed Santino. Santino apologizes, kisses his cheeks, and then steps away from an angry looking Kozlov. The Nominees are Mike Tyson for punching out Chris Jericho, Pee Wee Herman vs The Miz, Wayne Brady getting an RKO, or William Shatner singing Superstar Entrance Themes.

Via satellite, Pee Wee says he just received word that he won. He’s never won anything like that before and he’s overwhelmed, and he’d like to thank The Miz, Big Show (AKA Big Pee Wee), and he’s ready to come back anytime, and it’s incredible, and he’s going to burst, and thank you, and all that good stuff.

Backstage, Barrett puts his Slammy up and is confronted by Nexus. Otunga says they want his decision. If he doesn’t hire Cena back, Nexus will be just fine, but Otunga can’t say the same thing for Barrett. Taking that beating from Show didn’t look too promising for Barrett’s singles career. Barrett thanks Otunga for opening his eyes and says he knows exactly what he has to do.

@JoeyStyles William Shatner was robbed of a Slammy

@WWEsAngel_Nef WILLIAM SHATNER WAS ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #WWE #bwf #Slammys

@RingsideRants That crowd could not care less about Pee Wee Herman.

@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville should win, just for knocking Ted on his ass. I’m just saying. #BWF #RAW

Mark Henry vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes

Rhodes can’t even get his jacket out of the ring before Henry runs after him. Henry goes after Rhodes, and Rhodes ducks under the ropes. Rhodes ducks a clothesline, and then is thrown across the ring, and then is hit with a clothesline. Henry then screws with Rhodes’ face, and Rhodes goes Hulk on him. Rhodes rips Henry and then jumps all over him, literally, and then puts him in a headlock. Henry refuses to submit, and manages to get up to his feet. Rhodes goes to kick him, but Henry pushes him back and then clotheslines him a few times. Rhodes thrown into the corner, and then gets Henry’s giant ass in his stomach. Henry goes to do it again and Rhodes hits Beautiful Disaster, then takes him down. Rhodes then jumps off the top rope and plants his knee in Henry’s spine for the win.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes wins via pinfall.

Next up is the Holy %&^*%&* Move of the Year.

@Niki_Sushi I really… really… want some kool-aid right now. HE’S DANCING MY FACE, DAMMIT! >:O #BWF #RAW

@seraphalexiel At this point, I’m positive that a win over Mark Henry should no longer be considered an upset victory

Jerry “The King” Lawler is presenting us with the next award!… along with Vickie Guerrero. Don’t worry, King, you aren’t the only one upset. King says he’s glad to see Vickie and he’s lucky to be there, because he was up all night with his pet lizard who had reptile dysfunction. I laughed. Vickie says Holy…. Is the exact reaction she had when Cole caused Jerry the WWE Championship. King says that that’s probably the reaction Ziggler has when she models lingerie, or goes into the restaurant and says she’ll take it when given the menu. Vickie says she’s lost weight, and Jerry says to look around, and she’ll find it.

Nominees! Morrison jumps off the set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz, Kingston leg drops Drew off a ladder through the announce table, Cena AA’s Batista through the stage, and Randy RKO’s Evan in midair.

John Cena! King says hold up, because Cena is fired and can’t be there, so they’re going to accept it.

Barrett comes out and says that he’ll take that. If Cena wants it, he can come and get it. The whole world is hanging on Barrett’s every word, because he’s about to decide whether or not to rehire John Cena. Barrett says his decision is… … … … Barrett says that he’s not going to make his decision unless John Cena comes down to the ring and faces him. The crowd starts screaming and Barrett’s eyes dart around to try to find Cena. Cena hugs a bunch of people and high fives people and makes his way to the ring. Barrett tells him to keep his distance, and that if Cena attacks him now, his decision will be obvious. Barrett says that he’s thought long and hard about this decision, and it affects a lot of people: Cena, Barrett, and the Nexus. The Nexus comes out, but John doesn’t seem scared. Nexus surrounds the ring again. All these long pauses of silence are getting on my nerves. Barrett says that Cena is officially rehired… on two conditions: 1) Cena agrees to face Barrett this Sunday at TLC in a chair match, which Cena agrees to. 2) Cena gives the whole world what they’ve been waiting to see: Tonight, he goes one-on-one with David Otunga. Otunga looks shocked, but Cena laughs and agrees to that too. Barrett says he wants to show Cena exactly why he wanted to rehire him. And Nexus climbs up on the apron, and Cena fights, and Nexus gangs up on him. Barrett slides in the ring with a steel chair, and smacks Cena with it when he goes to get up. Then again. Barrett and Nexus leave the ring. Welcome back, Cena.

@Niki_Sushi Slipped that carpet right out from under Mr. Orange Face, now didn’t he? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 “Paging Wade Barrett…paging Wade Barrett….you can claim your testicles at the ticket office. ” #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

Next week is WWE Week on USA! Monday night at 9 is RAW, Tuesday night at 9 is Smackdown, LIVE, and Tribute to the Troops is Wednesday at 8!!

David Arquette is back, with a change of clothes, to say something: he’s opening a theater at the historic Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. They’ll be debuting on Valentine’s Day 2011. He wants to introduce the WWE Universe Fan Reaction of the Year. This encapsulates what makes the WWE Universe so great. Nominees: Weird Kid Reacting to Cena joining Nexus. Loser Crying when Shawn Michaels’ career ended at Wrestlemania, some Kid, and then the Angry Miz Girl.

I officially hate her. She thanks her dad and her sister, and-

AWESOME

I really hate her right now.

Miz kneels in front of her, to a rather unimpressed face, and asks if she remembers him. He says she looks so pretty, and compliments her Slammy. He asks if he can take a look at her Slammy, and the girl looks half dead. He says that he should take it for safe-keeping, and then asks if she can do him a favor: show him the face, and then mocks her for the face. He makes Riley hold it, and says that he deserves a Slammy, not a nine-year-old girl. Nobody’s worked harder than him. He’s held the United States, Unified Tag Team, Money in the Bank, and WWE Championships. That’s called a Grand Slam. He finds it amazing that tonight is the Slammys when there are still three weeks left in the year, because if you want a moment of the year, tune in this Sunday to TLC where he’ll beat Orton so bad, Orton will beg him to put him through a table. He’ll prove why Miz is the reason they’re here tonight-

“I decided that six days before your tables match at TLC, both you and Randy Orton are going to face former champions tonight. And Miz, your match against a former World Champion, begins right now.”

WWE Champion The Miz vs Rey Mysterio

Miz and Rey go to lock up, but Miz kicks Rey, then beats him into the corner. Miz then whips Rey across the ring, but Rey throws him out of the ring, and then sentons him outside the ring.

@Niki_Sushi It’s like taking a Slammy from a very angry 9 year old girl who would love nothing more than to beat you to death with it. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Did Miz just steal Miz Girl’s Slammy?! Hilarious.

@HitTheRopes Where’s Kalee’s dad? Just for realism, dad should have gotten in Miz’s face. #wwe

@TKeep123 ANGRY MIZ GIRL…..LIVE!!! ….and she WINS!! …and she still ain’t happy! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@AngryGirlWWE I WIN! I WIN!!!!! #angrygirlwwe

@RingsideRants Miz Girl is a better actress than Dixie Carter.

We come back to Rey fighting and throwing Miz across the ring. Miz went to counter one of Rey’s moves, but Rey countered that one. Rey shoves Miz into the ropes and gets ready for the 619, but Alberto Del Rio interrupts, and Miz climbs out of the ring. Rey slides out of the ring, but gets face planted into the apron by Miz. Miz throws him back in and goes for a cover, but Rey kicks out at two. Miz dominates Rey, putting him up on the top rope, and climbing up after him. Miz sets up a suplex, but Rey throws him off and hits a seated senton, then flies into a lateral press on Miz. Miz shoves Rey back and then kicks him in the stomach. Rey kicks him in the head and Miz kicks out of the pin. Miz goes to hit him, but Rey gets a drop toe hold on Miz and goes for the 619, but Alberto is on the apron and distracts him. Rey set s up again, but Riley distracts the ref and Alberto takes Rey down. Miz sneaks up a cover.

WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.

Rey chases Alberto Del Rio down the ramp.

“As I said earlier, both The Miz and Randy Orton will face former champions tonight. Miz just faced Rey Mysterio and later tonight, Randy Orton will compete in a handicapped match against Alex Riley and his partner, former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, David Arquette.”

Well, way to give a match to Randy. Because legitimately building up momentum is overrated.

Still to come, the Diva Clusterfuck Battle Royal for the Diva of the Year Slammy. And John Morrison and Sheamus have yet another match next.

@kickoutblog Miz Girl should do a run-in and cost Miz the match.

@TKeep123 Is it wrong I’m looking forward to the Cross-brand DIVA Battle Royal? …Ok, and hoping for wardrobe malfunction? #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

Edge is here to give out the Slammy for the Oh SNAP! Meltdown of the Year, a category he is nominated for. He says that it’s an honor to be out there tonight to present the Slammy and he’s pretty sure Kane was supposed to be his co-presenter tonight because he’s probably having a Meltdown of his own right now. Right now, Edge needs a co-presenter, one he’s comfortable with, one that he knows well and has had chemistry with…

If you close your eyes you’ll find naked truth revealed…

I marked out right here. I really did. Edge asks how his pec is and Christian says it’s fine. Christian says that he hopes Del Rio wins, because he and his Peeps haven’t forgotten what happened. The nominees are: Show destroying Swagger’s trophies, Alberto del Rio freaking out all over Rey Mysterio, Edge destroying the RAW General Manager’s laptop (“You’ve got the crazy eyes!”), or Batista quitting the WWE.

Edge!!

Edge says that he appreciates the Slammy, but for Meltdown of the Year? He doesn’t get it. He’s always been calm and rational, but sure he may have lost his cool a few times because of a RAW General Manager who hides behind a computer, and has no guts and Christian tries to stop Edge. Christian’s phone goes off and he says that he’s just received an email… nah, just kidding. He is the RAW General Manager.

Sunday, Edge will be the World Heavyweight Champion, but after all these years one thing has remained the same: Michael Cole is still a massive tool.

King Sheamus vs John Morrison

Sheamus shoves Morrison right into the corner, then slaps him hard, and then proceeds to just beat the hell out of Morrison. Morrison then beats the crap out of Sheamus. Sheamus goes right through the damn ref to get to Morrison, then Morrison gets the momentum… I don’t even know.

Nobody wins due to double count out.

More refs come out to try to get them apart, but the two of them are vowing death to the other, but still.

“Sheamus, Morrison, it’s obvious this issue of yours isn’t going to be resolved tonight, so I’ve decided to raise the stakes. Not only will the two of you will compete at TLC Sunday, but the winner will become the next Number One Contender to the WWE Championship. The winner will be the man who gets the contract that is suspended above the ring. That’s right, the two of you will compete in a Number One Contender’s Ladder Match.”

Sheamus yells at Cole, then grabs a ladder. He then slams it into Morrison, who walked right the hell into it, and then climbs in the right to further beat the hell out of Morrison, and throws him out of the ring, into the ladder.

Still to come, Randy will face Riley and Arquette, Cena and Otunga will face up.

@Niki_Sushi How do you win an award for beating up a computer? How do you win an award for puking on someone? The same way, akshully. #BWF #RAW

@seraphalexiel Honestly, I would have preferred if Del Rio and Mysterio got the ladder match

@RingsideRants Oh damn…. a potential Morrison-Miz title program in the works??

@kickoutblog Christian > Edge. Always

@WWEsAngel_Nef Why yes. Yes you are a tool Michael Cole. Edge is ftfw! #WWE #bwf #Slammys

@TKeep123 Christian get’s a Anonymous GM message on his iPhone … ok, just kidding! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@HitTheRopes Damn, that sh*t had to hurt! #Sheamus #Morrison #wwe

Presenting the Slammy for Knucklehead Moment of the Year is… JTG and William Regal? SERIOUSLY?! I love Regal, but seriously? With JTG? Regal at least just shakes his head at JTG.

Nominees: Show unmasks a bald CM Punk, Mae Young PWNS Lay-Cool, Beth Phoenix eliminates Khali via… kiss?!, and Santino Marella is out-danced by… Vladimir Kozlov?!

Mae Young beating LayCool… But Lay Cool is totally here. God. Layla says she’d thank Mae Young, but they don’t get basic cable at the nursing home, and the award is Flawless.

@HitTheRopes JTG screws up the announcement. #ReadingReadingYeahYeah

@WWEsAngel_Nef You know JTG needs to fire that gimmick and be more Regal ish. #bwf #WWE #Slammys

@kickoutblog A battle royal to determine Diva of the Year? Doesn’t that just determine the Diva of December 13th?

Diva Clusterfuck Battle Royal to determine Diva of the Year

Layla, Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Maryse, Brie and Nikki Bella, Melina, Eve Torres, Diva’s Champion Natalya, Gail Kim, Kaitlyn, and Tamina? Anyway, Kaitlyn and Rosa are eliminated first, Tamina, Bella Whore 1, Eve Torres, Bella Whore 2, Maryse, Kelly Kelly, Melina (after a Glam Slam into the ropes), Layla, Beth Phoenix, Gail, Alicia Fox, and Diva’s Champion Natalya.

Michelle McCool wins.

“Celebrate all you want tonight, ladies, but this Sunday may be a different story. At TLC, LayCool will meet WWE Diva’s Champion Natalya and her partner, Beth Phoenix, in the first ever Diva’s Table Match.”

Next up, Edge takes on Jack Swagger.

@kickoutblog How long have they been using the “HERE COME ALL THE DIVAS!!” music? It needs to go

@Niki_Sushi …. I think LayCool just got royally fucked. #justsayin #BWF #RAW

@seraphalexiel Wait. Did they say Divas tag team tables match? Did I hear that right? DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?

@TKeep123 Kaitlyn! Welcome to #RAW! Oops, bye. #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

I’m a horrible person for continuing to laugh at Kane pushing Paul Bearer off the edge of the second floor… I really am.

You think you know me…

Edge vs Jack Swagger

Edge and Swagger lock up, but Swagger gets the momentum and slams Edge down to the ground. Swagger keeps momentum over Edge, throwing Edge across the ring and into the opposite corner. Edge, however, takes no shit, and beats Swagger, who manages to come back by dropping Edge stomach-first into his knee. Swagger goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Swagger then puts Edge in… a submission my brain isn’t providing a name for right now, but Edge fights to his feet and then eats the heel of Swagger’s boot. Swagger goes for another cover, but Edge kicks out. Here, Cole points out to us that TLC means Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Thanks Cole! :B Edge fights off of Swagger’s shoulders and drops Swagger straight to the mat. Edge ducks a clothesline and slams into Swagger before dropping him to the mat and going for a cover. Swagger kicks out at two, and Edge goes to Whip him, but gets thrown to the mat, and he kicks out of Swagger’s cover at two. Swagger runs across the ring and goes to drop on Edge, but Edge lifts his legs and Swagger tries to lock in the ankle lock, but Edge rolls over. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench Powerbomb, which we haven’t seen in forever, and Edge counters out of it, dropping Swagger to the ground. He sets up for the Spear and hits it.

Edge wins via pinfall.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage talking about David Arquette. Miz says that he’ll be out there too. Arquette runs up and says that he and Miz have a lot in common: they have Hollywood careers, they’re both awesome. Riley says that Orton is dangerous and Arquette is delusional. Miz says he has one goal in mind: To put Orton through a table.

@kickoutblog Edge vs. Jack Swagger will be preempted for Jack Swagger vs. his t-shirt.

@Niki_Sushi I’ve always wondered what exactly they stare off into the distance at… is there a target saying ‘LOOK HERE’? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Edge v. Swagger …not a bad match tonight! Edge wins! THPEAR! THPEAR! THPEAR! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

Cool Smackdown vs RAW 2011 award thing.

WWE Moment of the Year Slammy will be presented by The Big Show! Show walks over to get a better mic, and says that there are many legendary moments in the WWE, and here are this year’s nominees: Cena rules fairly and is fired from the WWE. Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind during Triple H’s farewell speech. Edge Spears Jericho through the barrier. Shawn Michaels’ final match against The Undertaker.

Shawn Michaels!

Shawn couldn’t be here tonight, but he is on the Tron!!! Shawn says he can’t give away his location for fear the WWE would try to get him to come back, and he thanks everyone for making his life worth living, and Shawn tweeted that this part was taped earlier, so it’s NOT LIVE YOU LIARS! Shawn thanks everyone for the ride, and says that he doesn’t miss it, but misses the fans. Hopefully, we can all see each other very soon, and says good luck!

Later tonight, Cena takes on Otunga. Up next, Randy Orton will get great momentum going into TLC by defeating these two nobodies in Riley and Arquette… I mean… Will have a match.

@FrankWWEClown The moment of the year HAS to be HBK/Taker. I was blessed to see it live, and I will never forget it. Brought tears to my eyes. #WWE

@TKeep123 Birth of AUSTIN 3:16 ….. still sends a chill down my spine.. Thank you Steve Austin! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@seraphalexiel Shawn Michaels, you were like no other. I’m happy that you’re happy. Thank you for everything

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley and David Arquette

Looks like Riley will start out with Orton, because he didn’t learn last week, and the two go to lock up, but Orton is obviously pissed, and he beats the hell out of Riley in the corner. He then Whips Riley, who counters it, and then Riley is smacked to the ground. Orton uppercuts him, then goes for the cover, but Riley kicks out at two. Riley is then hurled around the ring, but Orton runs right into Riley’s feet. Arquette gets tagged in and jumps on Orton, who looks at him like he’s an idiot, and then kicks him in the stomach. Orton starts pounding the mat, and wisely tags in Riley who looks at him like he’s an idiot, but Orton drops him in a back breaker. Orton then smashes his foot into Riley’s face. But, Riley moves when Orton goes to drop his knee in Riley’s face, but Orton still kicks out of the cover. Orton fights back against Riley, and then delivers a knee to Orton’s midsection as Orton goes to him. When the ref isn’t looking, Arquette has Orton in a headlock. Riley then walks into Orton’s fist, but then Riley runs into the clothesline. Orton then scoop slams Riley and jerks around, chucking Riley back to the mat. Riley gets up, Orton hits the RKO, and that’s all she wrote.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

After the match, Miz slams the Money in the Bank briefcase into Orton’s’ head, and Arquette is going to help him this time around. Like a dumbass. Miz gets the table set up, and gets Orton up. Punk pretends that he has no idea what Miz is going to do, and Miz and Arquette go to double suplex Orton into the table, but Orton counters and beats Miz down. He goes to power bomb Miz, but Arquette gets him out of it. Miz rolls out of the ring, and Arquette is left to take the power bomb through the table.

Coming up, John Cena takes on David Otunga.

@TKeep123 David Arquette….rocking Evel Kenevil ninja-style! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@Niki_Sushi Tool of the Year award. Who would win? David Arquette or Michael Cole? #BWF #RAW

Cole comes out and says that 2010 had some great quotes. The Nominees for the And I Quote Line of the Year are from Santino, Cena, Edge… and so many others. My favorite is Cody’s “Don’t breathe on me”.

Seriously? Michael Cole. I think he’s lying. He pulls the ‘I wasn’t expecting this’ thing and pulls out a paper. The thanks the non-existent Cole Miners and The Miz, and the sound guys cut him off. Good. Anyway. Superstar of the Year awards is next.

@kickoutblog “Crack binge with Amy Winehouse” and “Of course you have an email you idiot, just read it.”

@HitTheRopes Wooo!!! @TitusNXT always makes it a win!

@seraphalexiel “Duct tape? Are you serious?”

@FrankWWEClown I’ll be accepting my award for “And I Quote of the Year” for….”I HATE YOU HEATH SLATER, I HATE YOU!!!” Tootin’ my own horn. 🙂 #WWE

Teddy Long is going to present the Superstar of the Year Slammy! The nominees are Edge, WWE Champion The Miz, World Heavyweight Champion Kane, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton.

John Cena.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUFFLES TOO!

Cena comes out and thanks everyone for not giving up on him. He says that this award was our award to give away and he finds it amazing that we gave it to him because up to an hour ago he didn’t have a job. It’s been a crazy year: he was forced to join the Nexus (only good thing being that he could pee in Barrett’s coffee), he was fired (and got to tailgate with the WWE Universe), and there’s magic on Bourbon Street. Cena says that what happened to him was his own fault, but he is now back fulltime on RAW. He will continue to be a man of his word. He has gotten to each and every member of the Nexus except Otunga and Barrett. Tonight, when Otunga steps in the ring, he doesn’t care if he brings Hasky, McG, the dude from something (AXE MURDERER!) or the chick from Wendy’s, Otunga is getting hurt. Sunday at TLC, every ounce of frustration, misery, anger will be unleashed. This Sunday, at TLC, we have his word: Wade Barrett will be destroyed.

John Cena vs. David Otunga

Barrett takes the mic and says that before the match starts, he wants to remind Cena what happened earlier, what’s going to happen tonight, and what will happen on Sunday.

Otunga turns around and high fives Nexus, or forearm bump, or something, except Barrett. Otunga walks down to the ring. Fina-fuckin-lly.

And now, like last week with Barrett, the Nexus slowly walks out on Otunga.

Cena, however, wants to fight, so he forces Otunga into the ring and smacks Otunga Show-style., then again on the back. Cena knees Otunga in the stomach, and chucks Otunga to the mat. Cena Whips Otunga across the ring, then runs his shoulder into Otunga’s face. Cena throws Otunga into the corner, then Whips him back around the ring, and Otunga finally moves. Otunga wails on Cena, bouncing around like a ping pong ball, and then goes back to Cena. Otunga goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out. Otunga goes to lift Cena, but Cena drops him with a drop toe hold and locks in the STF. Otunga taps out.

John Cena wins via submission.

Cena grabs a chair as Barrett walks out with a chair again. Cena then proceeds to use that chair on Otunga. And again. And again. And again. Cena then drags Otunga to the middle of the ring, and then massacres Otunga with it. Barrett seems more amused than scared, Cena.

So, there’s the Slammys! I have an idea in mind for something for those of you who tweet for me every week, but I have to see if it’ll work out. Keep an eye on my Twitter, and on the BWF website, because I may post it there if I don’t wait until next week. Thanks a lot, and I’ll be back for you next week!

RAW 10.4.10

October 4, 2010 11:15 pm 2 Comments

Last night was Hell in a Cell! Did John Cena join Nexus? Is Randy Orton still the WWE Champion? Was Daniel Bryan brutally mu-… I’ll leave that one to myself. Find out tonight, as Jackass star, Johnny Knoxville guest stars what is sure to be another amazing Monday Night RAW!

Nexus comes out and talks about their victory at Hell in a Cell. Barrett says the two men who helped were Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, which didn’t surprise anyone. Barrett says he doesn’t know them and they aren’t a part of the Nexus. Barrett then scolds Nexus for going down to the ring and potentially causing him his match. Tonight’s about inducting Cena into Nexus. Please welcome, the newest member of Nexus, John Cena.

He comes out with no music, which is just heartbreaking, to be honest. I’m upset. I wanted to make a joke.

Tarver says the joke is on Cena, because he failed. They have a gift for Cena: The Nexus armband. Cena looks at the arm band and puts it on. Slater says they know the transition’s going to be difficult, but they’re all there for him. The public wants to know exactly what his thoughts are. He says that he will read the official statement they made instead of saying what he wants to. Barrett says it’s not negotiable, and he’ll read it and read it now.

It essentially says that he acknowledges that he’s a member of Nexus, and an enemy of Nexus is an enemy of his. Barrett says that Cena has to participate in a tag match with a partner of his choice against Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. Cena picks Tarver.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. John Cena and Michael Tarver

Cena starts off the match with an offer to shake Bourne’s hand, and they do. Tarver’s pissed about it, but Cena doesn’t look like he cares. Cena then tags in Tarver and climbs out.

@KeepItFiveStar HEY! Where’s your Nexus Shirt Cena?! There’s a dress code damn it! Put it on!

@seraphalexiel I hope both men don’t suddenly get to join. The end of Season 2 was a failure for a reason, and it begins and ends with McGuillicutty

@Niki_Sushi Awwww. His own wittle armband. Are they slowly going to give him different parts to the ‘uniform’ or what? #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Geez, Cena sure likes to pick on the black Nexus guys. Wasn’t content with getting rid of your brother, now he’s going for Tarver. LOL #wwe

@CawCawBang Cena got something planned I don’t like it

@TKeep123 I wonder if Cena gave any secret signals while he was forced to read his (confession) speech. (Viet Nam era folks will get it.) #WWE #RAW

We come back to Tarver getting his ass handed to him by Henry. Cena really doesn’t seem interested in helping Tarver at all, to be honest, even mockingly reaching for a tag. Tarver manages to get toward Cena for a tag, but Cena leans away, and Henry seems amused by it, toying with Tarver. Tarver goes to tag Cena again, but Cena jumps down off the ring and begins signing signs in the crowd. Henry picks up Tarver and hits him with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.

Cena takes a mic after the match and says that he’s gonna make his own statement. As the newest member of Nexus, he plans on doing one thing and one thing only: destroying it from within. Like no one expected that. Tonight, he proves that you can be Nexus and against us. He hits Tarver in the head with the mic, and then body slams Tarver onto the steel steps. Twice. Then he gets Tarver back in the ring and locks in the STF.

“The terms of the stipulation for your match with Wade Barrett stated that if you lost, you must join the Nexus. Now, Nexus is clearly a group that takes direction from its leader, Wade Barrett. And thus as a member of the group, John, you must also take direction from Wade Barrett. If you don’t, as much as I would hate to do it, as much as it would be bad for business, as much as the WWE Universe would despise it, I would have no alternative but to terminate your WWE contract. Mr. Cena, no one man, despite his popularity, is bigger than WWE. In other words, Mr. Cena, I will fire you.”

@FrankWWEClown And who says Cena is boring, and not interesting? Are you watching this?! #WWE #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Cena’s looking at this all wrong. The Nexus have a great benefits package. Family picnics, BBQs, and other fun Nexus activities.

@HitTheRopes We CLEARLY see Michael Cole reading from a paper and NOT the computer screen. #fail #wwe

@TKeep123 For months we can’t keep #NEXUS away from the ring, and now Tarver gets a beat-down and NO NEXUS to be found? #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi Tarver is in Soul Sucking Position! YOU BETTA HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE! #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay. Say what you want marks but John Cena has the best fans. So devoted. I actually love that they chanted ‘Never Give Up’ #WWE

Alicia Fox vs Natalya

No warning on this one at all, but good to see Natalya in the ring. Natalya hits the sharpshooter pretty quick, and Alicia taps. Great 30 second match.

Natalya wins via submission.

WTF? 30 second match, 30 second reminder of the guest star, Johnny Knoxville, and now five minutes of commercials.

@RingsideRants That wasn’t even long enough for a bathroom break!

@CawCawBang wow that was quick

@kickoutblog My thoughts on Natalya vs. Alicia are longer than the actual match

@redsandman99 The good news is, Nattie won. The bad news is, the match was over in five seconds

@JoeyStyles What a match for Nattie…and I thought I finished fast.

Knoxville is talking with Gail and Melina, promoting Jackass 3D. Zack Ryder comes up, and Knox calls him a tool. He offers Ryder a high-five, only for him to get the shit smacked out of him by a giant hand. Knox mocks him a little.

Cena’s backstage with the Nexus armband again, and Josh Matthews comes up, asking what he’s gonna do. Cena says he doesn’t know. Cena suddenly takes off running after Husky and McGuillicutty, and Barrett says that there’s a lot he needs to talk about, concerning his future.

@TKeep123 FIRST time I was ever happy to see Zack Ryder during a Promo! “You know it!”…. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville just wtfpwn’d Zack Ryder without even getting in the ring. I DEMAND WEE-MAN VS HORNSWOGGLE DAMMIT!!!! #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 damn zach ryder got his ass kicked and he aint even in a match #wwe #bwf #raw

Daniel Bryan is in the ring with his crazy ass music. God, I wanna punch him.

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head! … Too many limes, too many limes!

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Sheamus beat the shit out of Bryan. Not even kidding.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via disqualification.

I think. Sheamus hits the High Cross on Daniel after beating the hell out of him. Sheamus climbs out of the ring and starts back up the ring. Dear, God. Was RAW booking only Nexus and Cena tonight? This is ridiculous.

Anyway, Edge makes his way to the ring to supposedly apologize to the computer.

@Niki_Sushi Oh. Damn. Forgot this fruit existed. Daniel Bryan, go awa-nevermind. GO SHEAMUS GO! #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Oh God, it’s the battle of wrestlers who don’t tan!

@KeepItFiveStar Did Daniel Bryan fail a Wellness test or something? Did he piss the Vegan police off? That was weird.

@Niki_Sushi OMFG! Who put a wrestling match in my commercials?! #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar “And THAT’s for fulfilling your indy dates while under contract!” – Sheamus after destroying Daniel Bryan

@TKeep123 Diva match… 90 seconds. Sheamus / Bryan 120 seconds… WTH? #WWE #RAW

And a Video Package of what we just saw, like fifteen seconds ago. Jesus Christ, RAW. I get that Cena joining Nexus is a big deal, but there are other Superstars…

Oh, God, Michael Cole’s in the ring. He’s now going to speak for the General Manager. I guess Stephen Hawking got pissed at the WWE for using his voice. Supposedly, it’s because of the events of the last few weeks, and will now communicate via email. So, the GM hates us all, is what I’m getting.

Awesome.

Before Edge comes out, the GM wants us to see the hilarious, I’m sorry, horrific events of last week.

The destruction of the GM last week was unacceptable. Two things are going to happen: Edge is “going to apologize”, and the GM will make a huge announcement regarding the WWE Championship.

You think you know me…

Edge, of course, says he won’t apologize. He’s on a personal crusade against all things stupid, and around here, there are a lot of things that are stupid. Michael Cole has been the personification of stupid since 1997. He’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole. And if the GM thinks he has attitude, then when Edge becomes WWE Champion, then he’ll see attitude. The GM says that tonight they will decide the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship in a 20-Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royale. Don’t expect me to keep up with that. The winner will face Randy Orton at Bragging Rights. Edge, however, has disrespected the GM one too many times, and won’t be in the battle royal tonight, because the GM has officially traded him to Smackdown.

Edge says it’s the greatest night of his career, because he now doesn’t have to listen to a computer, or this tool say, “And I Quote.” Cole flips out, and everyone boos him. Yeah, good job Cole. Cole says that now that he’s the official voice of the WWE, Edge needs to treat him with respect. Edge asks if he went off RAW after spearing Cole into next week would be respectful.

AWESOME

The Miz and Alex Riley make their way down to the ring. Miz says that Edge will do no such thing. Cole is a visionary, the one person that realized Miz’ awesomeness before anyone else. Cole leaves the ring, tripping. Miz tells him to go back to the announce table. Edge calls Miz an Edge-wannabe. Edge then goes through the checklist of Edge. Miz says that that was an interesting analysis, but they’re nothing alike. Edge says that he’s right, because Edge has been WWE Champion, and has been married, divorced, had a live celebration. He hasn’t even seen Miz talk to a woman, unless you count Alex Riley. Riley says that whether Edge likes it or not, Miz is the future of the WWE. Edge says that Miz is awesome at tapping out to Daniel Bryan.

Miz says that if Edge is trying to agitate Miz, it’s not working. Miz is either going to be competing in a WWE Championship match, or leading RAW into decimating Smackdown. So, why doesn’t Edge go to SyFy and tell all his new Smackdown buddies that he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.

Edge then attacks Miz and Alex Riley, Spearing Alex Riley, only to get a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz.

Cena backstage with Nexus, and Barrett says that Cena did him a favor in attacking Tarver. He wants Cena to help him with tonight’s battle royal. Cena asks what happens if he wins, and Barrett says that he’s ordering Cena to help him win. Otunga sticks his foot in his mouth and gets berated for it, and then tells Cena to either do as he’s told or get fired.

@TKeep123 Michael Cole has to stand on a box to be seen? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@seraphalexiel Fool. Hide yo paper, at least.

@TKeep123 “I’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole!” – Edge #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi That’s….. three or four laptops now? I seriously hope that’s included in the budget… I don’t think Nextel makes laptops. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Hey Otunga, know your role and shut your mouth. #wwe

@bethsharae I love Edge’s crusade. I shall join him. I now destroy all things stupid. #Raw #WWE

Oh, fuck me running… It’s the Bellas.

Nikki and Brie Bella vs. The Unified Divas Champions LayCool

Jesus Christ, someone put a mic on LayCool. My head hurts bad enough right now… I have no idea what the fuck is going on, okay? I don’t even care anymore. Oh, and there goes the Switcheroo again. Someone kill me. Seriously.

Nikki and Brie Bella win via the same old shit… er, pinfall.

Maryse is backstage, talking to Knox. He says that he doesn’t speak Spanish, and she accuses him of sending the messages. Ted then walks up and accuses him too, and Ted walks right into the huge hand. Maryse throws her shoes at Knox, and then Maryse is hit by the hand and lands right on top of Ted. Knox is apologizing repeatedly, and then runs away from a very pissed looking Ted.

@StrikerSays Are you serious. You just put the BELLAS over your champion. What is this fuckery.

@KeepItFiveStar This match is already longer than Natalya vs Alicia Fox

@ThingsColeSays They have found a way to make LayCool ever more annoying. Well done.

@inkincisions WHAT IS UP WITH DIVAS AND THROWING SHOES ?!?!?!?!?!

@divadirt LMAO! Maryse continues the shoe-throwing trend only to get hit by a giant hand. There’s a very un-PG joke in there somewhere. #WWE

@legendkiller515 that big ass hand is funny #wwe #raw #bwf

Please welcome the guest star of RAW, Johnny Knoxville. Oh, Jackass 3D is in theaters October 15^th. Yes, let’s put Knoxville in the ring. Because that went so well last time.

Knoxville’s talking really fast, is obviously freaked out by DiBiase coming after him, and tries to leave before he does. Too bad, because he’s here…

Knox says that he was just trying to make Maryse laugh, like Ted does… And proceeds to make a fool out of himself. Then smacks the taste out of Knox’s mouth. Then, it looks like he’s trying for Dreamstreet, but Knox just lays there like a limp noodle. Another message comes over the tron: You are mine. Goldust attacks DiBiase, and Maryse just stands there.

Goldust then tells DiBiase he doesn’t want him, obviously, and walks over to Maryse, who seems to be trying hard not to laugh. He does, however, say that he doesn’t want Maryse. What he wants, is the Million Dollar Belt. Only Goldust would send love notes to a belt. Seriously.

Next up: The 20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal.

Here are all the guys I think I saw. I’ll fix it as I can:

John Cena, Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz, William Regal, David Otunga, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Zack Ryder. That’s all I managed to catch, but I’ll do the best I can.

@HitTheRopes It’s amazing how great Raw started and where we are now. #wwe

@kickoutblog OMG IT IS GOLDUST! HE WANTS THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE!

@ThingsColeSays Hey Johnny, there’s a new joke going around have you heard it? What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAPPPPPPPPPP!

@StrikerSays So happy for the return of BIZARRE Goldie. He had dialed down to just “odd.”

King and Cole remind us that a shitload of stuff has happened… if you’ve been watching, you know. If not, scroll up. I’m tired of repeating the same shit.

And Cena’s backstage, brooding over the arm band. Otunga walks up and says that he knows he’s upset. He wants to tell Cena that Nexus isn’t all bad. Barrett is a bit demanding sometimes, but deep down, they can make it work. Cena may feel like this is the end, but it’s not. If Cena ever needs to talk, Otunga’s there for him. Just let him know.

Cole opens his mouth and reminds us of what we’ve already seen. It’s okay, Cole. I have the memory of a goldfish. Thanks a bunch, man.

Twenty Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal

Fuck keeping up with this, so here’s who in the damn match. I’ll just tell you who wins, because it’s easier.

Participants: John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, David Otunga, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Darren Young, and Primo.

@KeepItFiveStar CENA! WHERE’S YOUR SHIRT! You had time!

@bethsharae …. Truth doesn’t get to sing anymore?! HELL YES!!! #Raw #WWE

@HitTheRopes Otunga, don’t you pay attention!? Darren Young, Michael Tarver. What do they AND you have in common? Stay far from Cena. LOLZ #wwe

@legendkiller515 once again no one understands what the hell r-truth is saying in his damn songs #wwe #raw #bwf

Found all the damn contestants. I don’t know what’s going on… Don’t make me figure it all out. Cena eliminated Otunga, and now Barrett yells at him for it. Nexus just argues in the middle of the ring, and no one is aware of it, apparently. God, idiocy.

@KeepItFiveStar Why is Mark Henry asking why? Did he not see the first 10 minutes of the show?

@HitTheRopes I always wish for something unexpected like Santino to win something like this. #wwe

@kickoutblog Why the hell is Darren Young in this match?

@Niki_Sushi I look up to see Nexus, and totally went ‘GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!’ #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 this is the oddest collection of #raw superstars for a battle royal ive ever seen. most of them dont belong in this match #wwe #bwf

I don’t’ know what I’m supposed to say. The outcome was obvious.

Wade Barrett wins.

But, cutting his victory celebration short is none other than the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, who makes his way right up to the ring and right inside, like Barrett ain’t nothing. Which, he probably isn’t. Insert epic staredown, Randy holding up the title, and thus, RAW ends.

Proud of myself for getting this finished for you all tonight, even with a headache and some weird ass dizziness. Anyway, until next week!

Random Randomness

October 3, 2010 9:49 am 3 Comments

Well hello there and welcome back to your weekly edition of things random in this world of wrestlingHope things are all well and as I get closer to death, I look out and see a lot on my plate before that happens so lets talk some wrestling shall we?: (more…)

Power Poll 9/29/10: Well, he urn-ed it!

September 30, 2010 4:56 am Leave a Comment

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Jason Mann of Wrestlespective for using one of my favorite old Bobby Heenan jokes for the title of this week’s Power Poll. Ready? Here we go!

Power Poll 9/29/10: Well, he urn-ed it!

1. Randy Orton (Last week: 1)

The Viper has set a record for most weeks at number one on the Power Poll – which, given the short time frame that the poll has been around, isn’t nearly as impressive as it sounds. Still, the WWE Champion manages to hang on to the top spot this week with his dismantling of Chris Jericho on RAW. (My vote: 2)

2. Kane (3)

The World Heavyweight Champion moves up a spot this week to number two after destroying Chris Masters and calling out his brother The Undertaker on SmackDown. (My vote: 7)

3. Undertaker (NR)

Speaking of The Undertaker, the power of the urn returns to him in the form of Paul Bearer at his side. Finally shifting the balance of power to his half of the dark side, the Phenom jumps from obscurity to the number 3 spot on the Power Poll (My vote: 4)

4. John Cena (5)

Let the instant replay in professional wrestling debate begin! The anonymous General Manager of RAW restarted Cena’s match with Edge after the Rated R Superstar pinned Cena with his foot under the bottom rope, leading to an STF victory for Cena. The GM, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky… (My vote: NR)

5. Daniel Bryan (2)

The United States Champion may have bit off more than he can chew when he inadvertently hit tag team partner John Morrison following their loss on Monday. He now finds himself in a triple threat match with former WWE Tag Team Champions at Hell In A Cell. (My vote: NR)

6. The Miz (4)

He’s The Miz, and he pinned Bryan Daniel clean this past Monday on RAW. The second part of the US Championship triple threat at Hell in a Cell, Mr. Money In The Bank drops two spots this week. (My vote: 9)

7. Sheamus (10)

The former WWE Champion must’ve done something to redeem himself this week, since he’s moved back up three slots to number seven. Destroying The Great Khali, even if it was with chairs, will do that, fella! (My vote: 5)

8. Wade Barrett (8)

The leader of the Nexus coached the team of Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel to victory over Evan Bourne and Mark Henry, then joined in on the post match beatdown of Bourne. He faces John Cena at Hell In A Cell – can he win and prevent Nexus from disbanding? (My vote: NR)

9. CM Punk (NR)

With an out of nowhere victory over former Straight Edge Society running buddy Luke Gallows, CM Punk returns to the Power Poll. (My vote: 3)

10. Edge (NR)

After having a pinfall victory overturned by the anonymous General Manager, the Rated R Superstar finally had enough and destroyed the GM’s computer. Maybe now we’ll finally find out who the GM is. (My vote: 1)

Dropped out: Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, John Morrison

Also voted on by me: Alberto Del Rio (6), The Pope (8), and John Morrison (10)

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wondeful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com,WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at)gmail.com.

RAW 9.27.10

September 27, 2010 11:15 pm 4 Comments

Hello, everyone! Terribly sorry about not getting a review up for last week’s RAW, but things were really hectic. Anyway, I’m back tonight, and you can bet there’s gonna be a review up this week!

If you didn’t know it by now, Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion following Night of Champions! And at Hell in a Cell this Sunday, he’s got his hands full with Sheamus in a one on one rematch for the WWE Champion. But, this week? He’s got his hands full with Chris Jericho as they compete. And if Chris wins? Well, if Chris wins, Randy Orton will give Chris a title opportunity whenever he wants it.

AWESOME

Miz and Alex Riley get to the ring tonight, and Miz says that Daniel Bryan challenged him and Alex Riley to a tag team match. Didn’t Bryan learn his lesson last week? Bryan’s like the guy who wins a hundred million dollars in the lottery and thinks he’s gonna win every time he plays. What happens every Monday night? Bryan gets embarrassed by The Miz. And on tonight’s episode, he’s bringing a tag team partner to join in on the fun. So, come one, come all, and join in on the beatdown!

Daniel Bryan’s music plays, and Miz asks if that’s really his music. Then, he asks who Daniel’s tag team partner is, and if he even has any friends. Miz is interrupted in his catchphrase yet again by John Morrison’s music.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and John Morrison vs Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz and Alex Riley

Bryan and Riley start out, with Bryan getting the momentum early. He goes for an early cover, but Riley kicks out. Bryan tags in Morrison, but Riley attacks back. Morrison gets the advantage, however, and Riley drops him into the top rope. Riley keeps the advantage over Morrison as Miz is in the ring. Miz then drops Morrison right into the bottom rope. Miz gets covered, but kicks out. Miz manhandles Morrison, then backs up to have Riley come up. Riley stomps on Morrison in the corner before the ref pulls him out. Riley then drops Morrison and goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Miz gets tagged in, and hits a swinging corner clothesline on Morrison before going for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out. Morrison goes for a tag, but when he jumps up, Miz catches him. Miz misses a clothesline and dives for Bryan, but Miz grabs his leg and goes to pull him back, only to get a kick in the face. Morrison finally tags Bryan in, and Miz misses a clothesline as Bryan takes out Riley and hits a dropkick on Miz. He goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Bryan goes for the Labelle Lock but Miz counters with Skull Crushing Finale. Miz pins him for the cover.

The Miz and Alex Riley win via pinfall.

Miz attacks Bryan after the match, but Morrison comes to his rescue, and Bryan takes out both Morrison and the Miz. Morrison pulls Bryan off of Miz, but Bryan attacks Morrison. Morrison attacks Bryan, then Miz goes back to attacking Bryan, and then Morrison jumps on them both.

“I’ve decided that this Sunday, at Hell in a Cell, for the first time ever, Daniel Bryan will defend the United States Championship against both John Morrison and The Miz. But it will be defended in a match that I just invented: A Triple Threat Submissions Count Anywhere Match.”

@legendkiller515 since when was hell in the cell an important pay per view #wwe #raw #bwf

@ _MFS_ Can King please read the emails? Cole already talks WAY too much #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Damn Tamina. What’d the O-Zone Layer do to you?

@kickoutblog KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! #danielfudd

@bethsharae Yep, Miz and Riley will win this one. I’m already calling it. Morrison has once like once or twice against Miz since they broke up. #Raw

Divas Battle Royal for the Number One Contender for the Unified Diva’s Championship

I see Melina, the Bellas, Eve, Gail, Jillian, Maryse, Alicia, Tamina, and Natalya. Then LayCool comes on out to sit ringside. I’m not even going to try to keep up with this cluster fuck.

Natalya wins.

Good to finally see Natalya get her chance. Anywho, didn’t pay attention to the match. I hate Divas Battle Royals.

Later tonight, Edge has The General Manager on The Cutting Edge.

@kickoutblog Finally, a talented female athlete challenging for the Divas Title, are my eyes deceiving me?

@_MFS_ Okay, so they surprised me there, a Diva with actual fucking talent actually won, good job for once #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Yeah…. Officially fucking sick of LayCool. Michelle needs to go the hell away so Layla – who has talent – can shine. Skank. #BWF #RAW

Maryse is backstage with Ted, upset that Eve cost her the battle royal. Ted says he doesn’t care about the battle royal, and that she cost them the match last week. Someone knocks on the door and slips an envelope under the door. Maryse opens it and it reads, “Next week, you will be mine.”

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head!! TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

Sheamus says that we may have heard of some kind of Irish tale about two princes who had to race to get the throne of Ireland. The first prince to put his hand on the kingdom became the new king. As it came to a close, the younger of the two princes knew he was about to lose, so he cut off his hand and threw it at the castle. It made him the king of Ireland. Sheamus says he’s willing to cut off his own hand to win back the WWE Title. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Orton has underestimated Sheamus, and Sheamus should talk to Triple H because Sheamus ended Triple H’s career. In that cell, Sheamus is going to have the time of his life. But, right now, he wants to call out any WWE Superstar with a set of tires to face him. But, if they do, not only will they find out why he’s a future three-time WWE Champion, but why he’s also the fiery red hand of the WWE.

@Niki_Sushi I’m waiting for i- there it was. Fella. And I quote: VINTAGE SHEAMUS!

@TKeep123 Mysterious “I WILL HAVE YOU” message….gotta be from GoldDust! #WWE #RAW

@ThingsColeSays Does “fiery red hand of WWE” mean Sheamus has herpes of the hand or something? Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!

@_MFS_ Sheamus, cutting off hands is not PG #WWE #RAW #BWF

We come back, and Sheamus says that it’s not a surprise that no one back there is man enough to take him on. Then, of course, the Great Khali comes out.

Sheamus vs The Great Khali

Khali slaps Sheamus’ chest, and Sheamus proceeds to beat Khali to the ground. Sheamus then kicks Khali in the head and out of the ring. Outside the ring, he proceeds to beat Khali up as the ref counts. He takes the top off the announce table and beats Khali with it, then stealing Jerry’s chair, and then Cole’s chair. The bell has rung at this point, but Sheamus just keeps throwing chairs.

The Great Khali wins via disqualification.

Sheamus then gets Khali up, but Khali pushes him into the turn buckle, but gets a Brogue Kick for his troubles. He goes to get up, but gets another Brogue Kick.

Up next, Edge has the RAW General Manager on the Cutting Edge!

@KeepItFiveStar Every week I hope The Great Khali finally made that trip back to India. And every week I’m disappointed.

@bethsharae Dang Sheamus! One bonus of being so white, any amount of Red just glows. #Raw

@TKeep123 WOW!!! The hand print on Sheamus’ chest is amazing!!! #WWE #RAW

@kickoutblog If I had Khali’s hand tattooed on my chest, I’d be pissed too

You think you know me…

The whole podium is in the ring. If Cole reads the whole thing, I’m going to spaz… Really hard. I kind of wish Cole would get punched in the face. I’d take Josh Matthews over him.

Edge says that tonight is a first. The RAW GM is the guest. Edge does appreciate the GM agreeing to show up on the show. The computer will generate a voice (thank God), to keep this person’s identity a secret. Edge asks why he is such a spineless coward. The GM asks why Edge is such a moron. The GM remains anonymous to protect his identity. If people knew who he was, it’d change everything. Edge says that’s the worst voice ever. He thought he was Stone Cold, the Rock, Shawn Michaels, Bob Barker, or Lindsay Lohan after another bender. The only thing Edge knows is that whoever he is, he is a big fat liar. The GM says seriously, Edge, you hurt his feelings. Why do you have to hate, yo. He tried to make peace with him, but he wants confrontation. Why does Edge despise the GM? Edge asks why the GM despises him, and then asks why he’s arguing with a computer. Edge says that’s it. He’s gonna go ask Chris Jericho exactly who the GM is. The GM says Jericho is bluffing, but the GM knows a lot of things… Like Edge’s opponent. Right now.

Insert Stephen Hawking laughter.

Edge says that he doesn’t have an opponent, and he’s done talking to an overgrown Speak ‘N Spell, and he’s out. The GM says that he does have a match tonight, because the GM has scheduled a match between Edge and this man…

BRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER POO!

@HitTheRopes Edge, when you start arguing with a computer, you know it’s time to leave Raw. Come back to Smackdown, yo

@ThingsColeSays Edge is right. The state of Raw these days.

@KeepItFiveStar Is the GM JTG? JTGM?

@Grotessk The RAW GM is T-Pain.

@_MFS_ It’s okay Edge, I argue with my computer at work all day too #WWE #RAW #BWF

John Cena vs Edge

Nexus is watching backstage. Big surprise.

Anyway, Cena gets the early advantage, but Edge punches that out of him. Cena hits Edge with a drop toe-hold, but Edge kicks him out of the ring. Cena starts to try to get back in the ring, but Edge hits a baseball slide and kicks him right back out. Edge Irish whips Cena into the steel steps, then rolls into the ring to break the count. I missed what happened, but I saw Cena go for an Attitude Adjustment, and Edge counter. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Edge keeps the advantage, punching his face as the ref tries to get him to back up. Cena begins to fight back, ducking a clothesline, hitting a flying shoulder tackle before Edge stops him. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Edge gets Cena in a corner, then Irish whips him across the ring. Edge goes for a suplex, but Cena counters it with one of his own. Cena gets up and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge counters again and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out again. The crowd starts a “Let’s Go Cena, Let’s Go Edge” chant as Cena wakes up and starts fighting back a little more. Cena gets up on the second rope and tries to get an Attitude Adjustment again, but Edge jumps down and hits a spear on Cena by the ropes, covering him. Cena’s leg was under the rope, however, and Edge thinks he just won cleanly. But, the GM hates him, so here’s the email!

Edge wins via pinfall.

“You need to play by the rules. John Cena’s foot was clearly under the bottom rope. See for yourself. Therefore, this match will continue.”

Told ya.

Edge then runs back and starts punching Cena in the head. Edge goes for the Spear again, but Cena counters with the STF. Edge almost gets to the rope, but Cena pulls him back to the center of the ring. Edge taps.

John Cena wins via submission.

Edge climbs out of the ring and starts slowly toward the computer.

“Edge, you lost fair and square. Don’t look at me like that. Just walk away.”

Edge stops, and looks at the computer again, only for the computer to ask him what he’s doing. The computer says that Edge has the crazy eyes and he’s warning him. Then, Edge knocks over the podium, and breaks the laptop in half, then beats it with a chair, then with his head. Obviously, Edge is pissed.

@ThingsColeSays THAT’S WHY YOU HOOK BOTH LEGS, BOYS AND GIRLS. There’s a lesson to be learned here.

@bethsharae ….There is not instant replay in wrestling! Go away General Manager! #WWE #Raw

@HitTheRopes LOL, the Raw GM was injured. The #WWE had to find a way to write him out of the storyline.

@kickoutblog “Edge… you have the crazy eyes” might be my favorite WWE line since “malignant fist.”

@KeepItFiveStar OH NO! CHAIRSHOTS TO THE GM’S HEAD!

@TKeep123 Edge lays the RAW SMACKDOWN on the computer GM laptop. Edge 1 : GM 0 #WWE #RAW

@_MFS_ Yay! Dead computer! Man I wish I could do that to the crappy computers where I work! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@TeamNakedBaby Edge just killed Stephen Hawking 😀

Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater vs Mark Henry and Evan Bourne

Evan and Heath start out, Heath getting a good grip on Bourne pretty early. He already tags in Gabriel, who goes for a cover only for Bourne to kick out. Gabriel tags Slater back in and Slater hits a knee drop on Bourne and goes for a cover. Slater keeps momentum over Bourne, until he misses a clothesline and Bourne hits a high knee to Slater’s face. Slater tags in Gabriel, and Henry comes in off the tag too. Henry proceeds to deliver some hard hits to Gabriel, and downs Slater when he tries to help, then drops Gabriel on his stomach. Henry tags in Bourne, who is then taken out by Gabriel, after Slater takes out Henry. Gabriel climbs to the top rope now, and attempts the 450 Splash on Bourne, who manages to avoid it. Bourne goes to the top, and hits Air Bourne. He goes for the cover and Slater rolls them over so Gabriel pins Bourne.

Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel win via pinfall.

Nexus launches Mark Henry into the steel steps and then climb into the ring to get Evan. Otunga delivers a clothesline to Bourne, Tarver punches him hard, Slater just takes him down with some move (his trunks are sparkly and distracting), and then Barrett lifts him up, hitting Wasteland on Bourne. Tarver and Barrett move Bourne, and Gabriel hits a successful 450 Splash.

Barrett gets a mic and says that Nexus has said from the very beginning that you’re either Nexus, or you’re against us. After Hell in a Cell, Cena will no longer be “against us”, because when Barrett beats him, he will become property of Nexus. It’s not like they need him, but Cena’s going to serve a purpose. Cena’s going to take them to the upper something, and help them demoralize the entire WWE. Just to show Cena that being a part of the Nexus isn’t all bad, they’ve decided that they’re going to take a little trip. Otunga takes the mic and says that they’re invading Smackdown Friday. Unlike RAW, they’re giving all the superstars on Smackdown a fair warning. Tarver takes the mic and says the bad news is that they are the bad news. None of you can stop them.

@kickoutblog Please, please, please let us get some high flying insanity with Bourne and Gabriel.

@TKeep123 Mark Henry becomes the World’s Strongest Yard Dart at the hands of Nexus! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@HitTheRopes Anybody else find Wade Barrett’s face eerily similar to that of a rat?

Next week, Johnny Knoxville is the guest star. Remembering how bad it was last time, this’ll be fun.

The Hart Dynasty with Natalya vs The WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes for the WWE Tag Team Championship

I admit that I like typing Dashing in front of Cody Rhodes’ name. And that’s all I’ll say about that. Promise.

Tyson and Rhodes start out. Rhodes sends Kidd out to the apron, but Kidd jumps right back in and goes for a cover, only for Rhodes to kick out. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, and they hurl Kidd into the turnbuckle. McIntyre gets Kidd up by his head and tags in Rhodes. Rhodes hits Kidd, tags in McIntyre, and then Irish whips him right into McIntyre’s clothesline. McIntyre goes for a move, but Kidd kicks him in the head. McIntyre tags in Rhodes and Smith is tagged in too. Smith hits Rhodes with some hard this, and then knees him in the face. Rhodes is then dominated to the ground, Smith going for a cover only for McIntyre to interfere and then get knocked out of the ring. The Hart Dynasty go for the Hart Attack, but McIntyre pushes Kidd off early. Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the win.

Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

Smith asks why Kidd hit him from behind, and the two argue with Natalya trying to get them to stop. Smith walks away after shoving Kidd.

Up next, Chris Jericho will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton.

@kickoutblog Uh Cole, all wrestlers shave their legs.

@seraphalexiel Everytime they play Cody’s song instead of Drew’s, someone kicks a puppy around. Stop puppy violence

@TKeep123 I wonder if Cody and Drew take turns shaving each other!…. Those boys be smooth! #WWE #RAW

@HitTheRopes Just what #WWE needs to do: break up an ACTUAL tag team. smh

@Niki_Sushi You know you hit hard when Drew McIntyre does a Gollum Crawl to the ropes. #BWF #RAW

Cena and Truth backstage. Truth says no matter what happens on Sunday, truth is, he always has Cena’s back. Cena says he knows what’s at stake, and he’s going to take Nexus out one by one. Truth tells him to be careful, and Cena says that he’s always careful. Truth says he’s one of the most reckless people he knows. Cena says he is, but Nexus, since they’re going to the premiere of Smackdown on Friday, maybe he should be there, and if they run into each other, then Hell in a Cell starts early.

Break the walls down!

Chris says that when he wins this match tonight, he will be the number one contender, and will go on to win the WWE Championship, do you understand what he is saying to you right now? He’ll be the first to admit that Orton is a dangerous man, but he’s not scared. He’s changed from the fresh upstart he was when he first started to a deranged lunatic who has done whatever he could to become champion. He is a viper. He thinks, strikes, and acts like a snake, whenever he wants when he hits the RKO. But, much like Randy used to call himself the Legend Killer, Chris is going to call himself the Viper Killer, and will strike the head of the snake right here, and Orton will join the ranks of Hall of Famers and Legends who have been beaten by him. The list starts and continues, but a commercial interrupts.

@bethsharae Did R-Truth just call Cena “Crunk”? #raw

@KeepItFiveStar “U da moss reckless. Moss gettin crunk person. I KNOW!” – R-Truth (What??)

@kickoutblog I write the most gettin’ crunk Raw reviews. And that’s the truth

@HitTheRopes Every time R-Truth sets foot in front of a #WWE camera I feel the black race is set back decades “Most getting crunk person…” #facepalm

@seraphalexiel DID THEY JUST CUT OFF JERICHO???? SOMEONE NEED TO GET FIRED

@CawCawBang Word of the day is Crunk

@_MFS_ Ummm interrupting someone who can actually cut a promo with commercials? Not cool #WWE, not cool at all #RAW #BWF

We come back to Jericho’s list continuing, still. By the way, gonna plug here. Got Jericho’s DVD in the mail today, and it is amazing. Worth every penny. Trust me. Get it!

I hear voices in my head…

Anyway, the list is interrupted by Randy’s entrance.

Chris Jericho vs WWE Champion Randy Orton

Jericho starts off the match with a strong kick to Orton’s stomach. He gets Orton in the corner and delivers some solid hits before Irish whipping Orton across the ring only to run into a clothesline. Orton hits back at Jericho, however, dropping his knee into Jericho’s face. He hits an uppercut on Jericho, who’s hanging out of the ring on the apron, and then climbs back in. Jericho hits a slap on Orton to get him out of his face, and then kicks Orton right in the shoulder. He taunts Orton, calling him a stupid man, his new favorite insult, before Orton starts hitting back again. Orton Irish whips Jericho, who holds onto the ropes, and then is clotheslined out of the ring. Orton walks out with him and Irish whips Jericho, who reverses, and whips Orton into the barrier.

@HitTheRopes ARMBAR!!!!! #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Wow…. was @IAmJericho seriously listing people off that whole time? Elephant memory he has. #BWF #RAW

@Lagana Has WWE mentioned and promoted more TNA people tonight then TNA usually does?

@WellYoureWrong …MOSS COVERED THREE HANDLED FAMILY GREDUNZA #1004opponents #wwe

@legendkiller515 damn jericho is naming everyone he beat. #classic #wwe #raw #bwf

We come back to Orton stomping on Jericho, and Sheamus walks out from behind the curtain to watch the match. Orton sees him and pauses his methodical beat down of Jericho’s legs to stare at him. Jericho gets to his feet and goes for a clothesline, but Orton ducks and Jericho hits and insagari before hitting Orton’s neck against the bottom rope after a failed cover. Orton gets up and attempts the RKO, but Jericho counters into a backslide, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho goes for another cover after a dropkick, but Orton kicks out. Jericho gets Orton in a headlock. Orton fights out of it, and runs right into a dropkick. Jericho goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two again. Jericho drops his knee in Orton’s face, and then goes for another cover, only for Orton to kick out again. Jericho gets Orton in a submission, but Orton fights out, delivering a back breaker to Jericho. Orton gets up and watches Jericho, taking him down with clotheslines, and a scoop slam. He then backs Jericho into the corner and Irish whips him. Jericho puts his foot in Orton’s face when Orton runs at him, and then misses a Lionsault. Orton hits the backbreaker and goes for the RKO, only for Jericho to drop him. Jericho hits the Lionsault this time and goes for a cover, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho gets up and kicks Orton in the stomach, but Orton goes for the DDT from the second rope. Jericho counters it and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Orton reaches for the bottom rope, however, but Jericho pulls him back to the center of the ring. Orton reverses it and knocks Jericho out of the ring. Jericho goes right back in, and then this the DDT from the second rope.

Block of test is huge, so here’s a break.

Orton drops down to his knees, and Sheamus misses a clothesline on Orton and the ref calls for the bell. Orton then hits the DDT from the second rope on Sheamus. Orton starts to go for a punt, but Jericho hits the Code Breaker on Orton instead. Jericho grabs a chair and climbs back in the ring, telling Orton to get up. Jericho says he’s gonna knock Orton’s head off, but Jericho misses with the chair and Orton hits the RKO on Jericho. Orton then punts Jericho in the head. Sheamus looks terrified that he actually did it, however.

Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. One wild RAW. Decent lead up to Hell in a Cell, I think, so we’ll see what happens! ‘Til next week!

Power Poll 9/15/10: Honorable mention

September 16, 2010 4:40 am Leave a Comment

Power Poll 9/15/10: Honorable mention (or ROH 1, TNA 0)

ROH had its highest placement on the Power Poll yet, while TNA completely falls off the radar with Impact scurrying away from the NFL. But, not surprisingly, WWE dominated with familiar faces at the top.

1. Randy Orton (Last week: 1)
WWE is going full-bore in its attempt to turn Randy Orton into this generation’s Stone Cold Steve Austin, it seems, even giving him a win on TV over John Cena (in a tables match, but still). I feel bad for this generation.

2. Kane (2)
Say this for WWE. The idea of Kane as World champion seemed ridiculous three months ago. Not anymore.

3. John Cena (4)
I have officially run out of things to say about John Cena.

4. Chris Jericho (10)
Taking advantage of some wacky rules and stupidity by the Hart Dynasty, Jericho (in a suit) had a nice match with Tyson Kidd, winning cleanly to earn a spot back in the six-pack match at Night of Champions. Plus, he got to tell off Michael Cole and the mystery GM.

5. Alberto Del Rio (3)
Del Rio continued his strong showing since his debut with a submission win over Twitter legend Matt Hardy. Given that Hardy went insane soon afterward, I guess maybe we

6. The Undertaker (NR)
The creative build for his match with Kane at Night of Champions has refreshed a stale-sounding feud, but will the enthusiasm for it end when they actually have to get in the ring together?

7. Roderick Strong (NR)
I confess I don’t know much about Roderick Strong. I know he’s now the ROH champion, beating Tyler Black on Saturday. I think he likes backbreakers.

8. Sheamus (NR)
The WWE champion returns after a one-week absence, but isn’t kind of sad that he’s been such an afterthought lately that he’s behind the ROH champion?

9. Daniel Bryan (6)
The future unified WWE-World-TNA-ROH-Evolve-Chikara-GAEA-CMLL-CWA-WCCW-ECW-GLOW* champion slipped a little despite a convincing win over Alex Riley and embarrassing The Miz.

10. The Miz (9)
The U.S. champion and Money in the Bank holder has fallen steadily since Summerslam. But I have a feeling he’ll have neither of those things when Night of Champions is finished and will be a lot higher in the Power Poll next week.

Dropped: Kurt Angle, Kaval, Jeff Hardy

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wonderful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com,WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at)gmail.com.

*Inside joke

Random Randomness

September 12, 2010 12:32 pm 2 Comments

With the official start to the NFL regular season starting today, I have to ask: “Are you ready for some football?” Not yet, well before I shout “Go Raiders!” how about to take a few minutes and read about some things that happened this past week in wrestling: (more…)

Tag Archive: Chris Jericho

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