Tag Archive: Contenders

  1. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/22/12

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    SIN CARA/REY MYSTERIO VS RHODES SCHOLARS – Right off the bat, we get into the action. As Rey makes his way out, we’re told by Michael Cole that RAW GM AJ Lee has been called to an emergency meeting at WWE HQ. Sandow and Rhodes win when Sandow blocks the ref from a three count. Sandow and Cara spill outside while Cody hits the crossroads for the three.
    It could just be me, but Cara looked like he was having an off night. The double teams from the masked men seemed awkward, and not as quick or crisp as you’d expect.
    After the match, Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) cut a promo on their new no. 1 contenders and Kane pulled Bryan behind him, grabbing him by the face, followed up by a pyro spot

    We come back from break with a “Tout” by Zack Ryder about working the first ever WWE Egyptian tour. We get a look at pics and videos.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON VS MICHAEL MIGILLICUTTY – The Miz joins the commentary team to scout Kofi; however Cole and J.R. put the focus on his match later tonight with Ryback, and the Egyptian tour. Kofi wins it with “Trouble in Paradise.”

    We go to a recap of last Monday’s contract signing when Cena gave Ryback the title-shot at Hell in the Cell, and Ryback gave Punk the “shell-shock.”

    Back from break and we get a shot of Super Bowl Champions the New York Giants before Cena comes out to “really NOT pro-Cena,” crowd. Cole reminds us to go to WWE.com and help the Susan G. Komen foundation fight breast cancer by buying special John Cena merchandise. (100 % goes to the charity.) He cuts a promo about Ryback and Punk at HitC, putting over Ryback as a no-nonsense ass-kicker, promising a Ryback win.
    C.M. Punk comes out w/Paul Heyman. Punk calls Cena on his predictable pandering to the Giants, saying he prefers the San Francisco brand. Punk says he’s the best in the world and promises he will win at HitC. He compliments Cena on his new role as “cheerleader” for Ryback and credits Cena for realizing he can’t beat him. Cena responds by saying he’s clear to wrestle and challenges Punk to step up/in the ring. Punk walks all the way to the edge of the apron, Heyman begging him not to do it every step, and backs out with the belt.

    We go to break with another mention of AJ Lee tweeting about her emergency meeting with WWE HQ.

    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cole mentions how Cesaro said no American can beat him, and how last week he disrespected the Sun Records building, Elvis, and Jerry Lee Lewis. End of the match is Gabriel and Cesaro on the top rope, trading hits until Cesaro falls, and Gabriel hits the 450 splash FOR THE WIN! Cole and J.R. sell this as a huge upset and suggest Gabriel might be getting a shot at the U.S. title.

    Backstage; a limo rolls in and Vince McMahon himself gets out w/RAW GM A.J. Lee in tow. (It looks like a kidnapping.)
    Back from break, Vince has AJ in the ring. Vince tells us about AJ being called in by the Board of Directors, and gives the mike to AJ.  AJ officially resigns as GM based on false allegations of “fraternizing” with a WWE superstar. AJ gives an awesome speech about how grateful she is to the WWE for giving a poor girl who grew up with nothing a chance, and how she went from having nothing to being the boss. Vince gives her a hug.
    Out comes Paul Heyman, ragging on AJ for being a “Jersey Girl,” and complimenting her back-handedly for overcoming he faults. He nominates himself as new GM and gets shot down by Vince. We are introduced to new WWE “managing supervisor,” Vicki Guerro.

    What the hell is a “managing supervisor?”

    After Vicki thanks the WWE for the opportunity, Heyman tries to work his charm on her, and tries to get Punk out of his match with Ryback. Vicki shoots him down and makes tonight’s Main Event a champion vs. champion, lumberjack match with Sheamus against C.M. Punk. Heyman walks off having a conniption while Vicki cuts a promo on AJ, calling her too “immature,” for a position of authority. Vicki tells the crowd she was accused of having an “affair” with a WWE superstar. Vicki tries to dismiss her, but after a few steps, AJ decides to go after her. After a quick cat-fight, Vicki bails, and we go to break.

    So for the record, dating WWE talent is a no-no.
    Marriage, that’s a whole different thing.

    Back from break; with Ryback in the ring, followed by The Miz.

    RYBACK VS THE MIZ – Do you expect me to end this in ANY OTHER WAY than clothesline, followed by Shellshock, Ryback gets the pin?

    After the match, we get a promo of the WWE talking to kids about bullying as part of the “Be a Star” campaign AND I’M THE ONLY ONE WHOS GOING TO POINT OUT THE IRONY OF EVE TORRESS DOING THIS AIN’T I?

    We come back from break with Eve backstage dogging AJ on her phone, implying AJ hooked up with Zack Ryder and Primo. Kaitlyn confronts her with a picture taken off her I-pad, and it breaks down into a brawl with Layla getting into it.

    If I knew how, I’d post video of Peter Griffin going “WHO THE HELL CARES?” on constant loop.

    After that, we go to a interview backstage with Josh Mathews and Sheamus, playing with a WWE brawling buddy. Big Show comes in, knocks it away, and warns Sheamus to get serious.

    Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring as we go to break.

    When we come back, we get a pop for WWE.com and a story about Cena getting a special award from the “Make a Wish,” foundation.

    DOLPH ZIGGLER VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – J.R. and Cole speculate about Vicki dropping Dolph and the future of RAW management while Ziggler and Bryan wrestle one of the best matches I’ve seen this year. There’s a LOT of high-spots and big-impact maneuvers, and a scary spot with Ziggler hitting the ring-post head first. Match ends with Kane (Bryan’s partner) distracting Bryan with a “YES!” chant and Ziggler hitting the Zig-Zag.

    Side Note: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET TO THE PART WHERE THEY LOSE THE TITLES AND FUED FOR A MONTH ALREADY?

    After the match, Team Hell No argues until Matt Stryker comes out to announce that Kane and Bryan have been ordered by Vicki Guerro to compete in a “therapeutic game show,” against Rhodes Scholars.

    They ain’t thrilled about it either.

    After the break, we get a recap of AJ resigning, Vicki being made “managing supervisor,” and AJ going off on her ass.

    Bryan and Kane are seated for “the Newly Tag” game, and act like they plan to play along. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes come out, crap all over the segment, and walk. Stryker declares them the winners by forfeit as Bryan has a win-gasim. Bryan and Kane look at Stryker with murderous intent. Stryker bails and from the safety of the stage, smiles villainously and makes it clear he can’t wish them luck in their match on Sunday. Big Show walks up behind him and tosses him across the stage like a bowling ball.

    So anybody gonna explain to me what Stryker did to deserve this bitch-booking? Or whatever happened to that whole “no touching announcers,” rule?

    Back from break, Kane and Big Show have a match in progress.

    BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE – Slow back and forth brawl; with lots of punching and choking with a few high spots. Show wins with the big right hand after Rhodes Scholars comes out with the distraction and double team Bryan into unconsciousness.

    Backstage; Santino tries to comfort AJ. Cena enters the picture and Santino walks. Cena tries to get AJ fight this, AJ reveals Cena was the one they accused her of “fraternizing” with, and she took the hit to protect him. Cena hugs AJ and promises to take care of this.

    Back from break, Miz is Touting about Cairo Egypt, being awesome as part of the world tour.

    Backstage: Cena confronts Vince about the decision to replace AJ with Vick – sort of. Apparently Vince has no say in how his own company is run.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO VS ZACK RYDER – Okay, what is J.R.’s problem tonight? First he and Cole gripe about Roberto Rodriguez introducing Del Rio, then he says something about hearing people complaining about losing their “spot” for years, then he dumps on Ryder’s “internet champion” gimmick. Del Rio wins with the Arm-breaker, and then cuts a promo on Ryder as if he were Randy Orton while continuing to brutalize him. Del Rio mocks Orton’s posing.

    Backstage; Vicki Guerro is cleaning out AJ’s office when Cena gets all up in her face, Vicki points out Cena asked her out on TV, and they were seen having dinner together. He claims it was a business dinner as friends. Vicki says it doesn’t matter; Cena is still the one who cost her, her job.

    Back from break, we have an interview with Dolph Ziggler. He blames John Cena for the whole mess, and implies AJ should’ve had “better taste.”

    We get a Ryback Video Package showing him destroy people and how much the crowd loves him.

    Someone WILL have to explain this to me.

    Backstage; Heyman tries to comfort C.M. Punk who’s upset about the lumberjack match with Sheamus. Heyman tries to keep his spirits up; reassuring him he will be Champion after this Sunday.

    Back from break; we have a TON of WWE superstars around the ring and C.M. Punk in the ring. Sheamus is out next, and you can hear a faint C.M. Punk chant.

    WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK VS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS – As Sheamus makes his way to the ring, Cole quotes a tweet from “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, wishing him luck. Early in the match, Sheamus is tossed out and the lumberjacks give him a huge berth. When Punk is tossed out a minute later, the “jacks” swarm him. We get a solid, if basic match that builds its pace slowly but gets the crowd into it. Two of the lumberjacks run into the ring and each eats a big boot from Sheamus. Sheamus goes for Punk but takes a chokeslam from Big Show allowing Punk to get the pin.

    And no; I don’t know why Punk wasn’t DQ’d when the two guys ran in.

    After the match, Ryback comes out to get a piece of Punk. Whenever Punk tries to run, the face lumberjacks toss him back to Ryback. Ryback tosses punk like a pizza and drops him on a bunch of heels. Punk whimpers in pain as Ryback stands tall.

     

  2. PNTNR TNA Impact – …The Razzie goes to….Or what you goin’ to do Brother when the GM goes wild on you?

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    He's running wild on something

    He's running wild on something

    Impact is Hogan Country. After only being gone since October, Hogan is now a face official. And out to introduce him is Dixie Carter doing her best Price’s Right impersonation introduces the man in black in blue GM Hulk Hogan.

    This time the entire locker room is out there instead of the last weeks 5 or 6 faces. Hogan starts booking matches, Crimson and Morgan will settle their feud at Lockdown and also having Angle vs Hardy right after his speech.

    Angle and Hardy ends in a count out after Kurt decides enough is enough. Hogan congratulates him and sets up a Lockdown match between them. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t Kurt legit hurt with a pulled groin so shouldn’t he be taking it easy for those Olympic trials instead of in a cage? But I guess priorities.

    Flair is in the back on his cell phone talking to Vince ..er I mean Eric Bischoff about out of control Hogan.

    The Bully Ray comes out talk about his name and how he’s taken craps bigger than Austin Aries. Which of course prompts Aries to come out and fling his microphone at him and beat on him in the corner before Ray gets the upper hand and powerbombs Aries. Bully Ray like a kid who forgets that he’s already introduced himself asks “Do you know who I am?”

    Then we have Joseph Park still looking for his brother Abyss. This time he hopes that the caterers know where he’s at but to no avail but he leaves his card anyway. At this point he should just go straight to Dixie Carter ask to see the tapes from Genesis, find out the Bully Ray may have something to do with and attack/litigate him to death. Just sayin.

    Then we have the knockouts number one contenders match with everyone but Brooke Tessmacher, Sarita and Rosita because you know they don’t exist in the realm of possiblity of getting the title. That right is reserved for Velvet Sky who not only was given a whole new backstory but hot shoted to the title picture because she exudes sexuality! Who needs talented knockouts when one can get first Madison Rayne who is the longest reigning former champion and a women who causes men to “Let the Pigeons Loose”. Glow, Shimmer and Chickfight keep me strong. Velvet wins after apologizing to Mickie and hitting her with “In Yo Face” for her Lockdown rematch.

    Wrong Pic but I like it better than a champion Sky

    Wrong Pic but I like it better than a champion Sky

    EY has a bachelor party with a bunch of nerds…Our word so I am allowed to say it. Well Jock nerds who play Fantasy Baseball when Dungeons and Dragons is too complicated. Then ODB comes in an places Eric’s face in her boobs. And I died a little inside. KO Tag Titles going to good use.

    Aj Styles and James storm was nice and a good flashback to when Roode took on Styles to prepare for Angle. After a moonsault, Storm kicks Styles teeth down in his throat. In a good little short match. Here is something I can get behind now if only AJ could stop being used as enhancement talent which seems to be the case 99% of time.

    Montgomery Gentry is in the back and is confronted by Roode and his bodyguards as he spits water into the rednecks eyes. OH SH–t  I smell a Canadian lynching! but no that is what security is for.

    In one of the oddest turn of events what was once a one on one match between Gunner and Garett is now turned into a Lethal Lockdown match were if Bischoff senior loses he right to the Bischoff name along with being kicked off Impact. Hmm I wonder who is going to win you know with Eric getting work on a project that could and will take him off television for a while but like a cockroach he’ll be back.

    Always getting his good side

    Always getting his good side

    MCMG have a tag match against Mexican America who I thought had disbanded after the Repo game guy took thier girls but there back too along with Helium Chavo. You know when I can’t have Sarita and to a lesser extent Rosita in the Knockout title picture but they can hang with LAX lite to be fed to the MachineGuns I know what I’m in for in the foreseeable future. Crap. MCMG win and then call out the Joe Daddies. So yeah here comes the tag division and I mean all the meaningful tag teams in a cage for the titles. 4 guys make up a once great division. TNA should look at the total roster and make more and not only that but with them renewing there deal with Spike put on Xplosion on Saturdays with focus on Tag team, Television and X Division story arcs. Internal booking mode off. I’m happy that Sabin is back though.

     

    And the main event is a “dream” match between Mr. Anderson and Roode who in typical heel fashion smacks a beer bottle over his head. And wins only to have Storm then Hogan out to reverse the decision to close out the show.

    Thoughts: I find the introduction to be really Razzie bad by Dixie but after that the show really took off and we got some good matches and some good progression what with the Motor City Machine Guns back and kicking ass and maybe we will have an official who watches the matches and intervenes when something goes wrong unlike Sting for the last few months. Here is to a better Go Home show then last PPV what with it being Lockdown.

    See you next Week

    See you next Week

    And no visible pics. yeah this is awesome. Hope to get that fixed for next time.  (ThinkSoJoE note:  Fixed!)

  3. TNA iMPACT: Pntnr review- Brawl and the mysterious trainer (Please not Hogan..Please not Hogan..)

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    As the snow falls in the midwest. I look upon my computer screen (seeing as how the television decided to crap out on me)and watch an opening of surprise we have a match! The three way between Velvet Sky, Mickie James and Tara is underway as Christie Hemme announces the number 1 contenders. At first as I watched this it looked pretty sloppy, miscommunication and confused looks on faces made me almost facepalm. But eventually it picked up this of course lead to the shocking winner Tara after she spider webs Velvet on top of Mickie and cover James for the win.

    Seriously this is the only pic I could find. Not kidding.

    We have Mike Tenay go over a brawl that took place earlier that night. Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray start kicking the hell out of each other leading to Roode pulling up in his truck double teaming Hardy, which doesn’t sound as bad as you think. Soon just as Roode/Ray throw Jeff into the back of the truck James Storm runs in to eventually get double teamed that is until the bat of justice from Steve Borden saves the day. Back into the Impact Zone as Sting, Hardy and Storm head down to call out Roode and Ray. Well lets just say another fight ensues where Steve attempts to separate everyone leading to Storm suggesting a tables match. So for your main event we have Storm/Hardy vs Roode/Ray in a tag team tables match.
    We have a promo with the returning Alex Shelley, who discusses his match with Zema Ion and his subsequent match should he win against Austin Aries for the X Division title. (Just happy to see a feud with history dating back to pre-Hogan being remembered)
    This is when I shake my head as Eric Young mistakes a disfigured black crew member for Sammy Davis Jr. Only for the guy to leave him at the mercy of Winter Love who attempt to seduce him into a crotch shot only for him to be prepared with a cup. More pointless filler to further a feud which can’t really be fought because Spike TV doesn’t allow female on male violence. EY scares the Vampire Lesbians away with his cup sniffing.
    X division match is underway with Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley, and lets just say this is what TNA is all about or was. Fast paced action followed by near falls and amazing finishes. Zema Ion attempts a 450 splash only to miss and get sliced bread #2 for a three count. Shelley will advance toward Aries for Against All Odds.
    AJ Styles has a promo describing how the business changes people. And he is also getting to the bottom of the Kaz/Daniels pairing. Which of course means nothing will be disclosed.
    Eric Bischoff shows up at the gym of his son’s. Brings a camera crew to see what his trainer looks like. After some smug exchanges Garett points off camera to the shock of Eric B. Camera man is ushered out. Here’s hoping it was Eric B’s wife because who allows a man to put her son in the hospital?
    Awesome! A mixxed tag match with no actual wrestling!
    Lets give a run down
    1. EY comes into the ring and proceeds to lock up with Earl Hebner
    2. He then instructs Hebner out to the apron to be tagged in
    3. Earl is tagged in and EY gets out.
    4. EY locks up some more with Earl, Winter attacks, EY strips
    5. EY chases Winter and Love around like a pervert
    6. ODB tags in, decimates the heels
    7. EY’s Hebner baffoonery distracts ref allowing Winter/Love to take control
    8. After the heels have some fun,ODB is given liquid courage, popeye stle. EY and ODB do some double airplane spins (RIP Gorilla Monsoon)
    9. EY and Winter dizzily exit the ring, as ODB slams Love for the three count.
    10.Face Palming insues.

    EY and ODB's next business

    THen we have a Roode and Ray promo where some foreshadowing is being done. Ray makes some off color comment about Bobby Roode not being the champ for long showing distrust. Both men can’t turn their backs on each other.
    We have an overview of the non feud of Magnus/JOE and Crimson/Morgan, I say non feud due to the ass kicking JOE and Magnus have taken in actual matches. They replay the 1 minute match between Crimson and Magnus from last week. Next we JOE vs Morgan.
    Well look it here it is a good match with some hard hitting action that actually last longer than a minute. Of course Morgan wins with a running Discus Punch (shades of the Texas Tornado,Kerry Von Erich) for the win.
    Afterwards the heels beat down the champs. I have a feeling that JOE/Magnus will win next month and take on the returning MCMG in the future.
    AJ is looking for answers and he isn’t getting them. Daniels instead does some more taunting about Styles being a whiner leading to an altercation in which Daniels gets owned. When Kazarian won’t shake Styles hand because you know Daniels has something on him we get a match set up at AAO, Kazarian vs Styles, for all the answers! 
    I have a theory. Lets go back some months when Daniels turned heel and Kaz went to see him. They agreed to meet. Months go by and all of a sudden Kaz is his slave. Kaz wife Traci months earlier slept with Eric B. for the Knockouts VP position but was denied anyway with Kaz not getting angry. Even in his aborted feud with Jeff Jarrett/Karen where Jarrett called Traci names. I think Traci is Kaz’s beard as it were and he is secretly hiding his sexuality which Daniels must have found out on his trip to Kaz’s ranch.

    Just A theory

    Anyway. Tag team tables match was a third brawl through most of it leading into some almost table drops on both sides. Eventually James Storm gets Roode in a corner, letting Jeff hit the twist of fate, rolling roode on the table STorm hits an elbow drop for the win. Then after the heels return and beat down the faces putting Hardy through a table.
    Here’s to next week when Impact is in England. PNTNR OUT.

    Not the Impact Zone!!

  4. Pintnoir’s TNA Impact Review- The Road where Hardy, Storm, Bischoff and Mickie Travel to AAO…..

    2 Comments

    Presumably.  I could be wrong. Oh well. Lets dig in.

    What we get is a refresher in repetition. The show opens with the Genesis title match recap, we watch (for what would be the second week in a row) Roode getting himself disqualified after kicking the ref in the ball sack. (Sorry for so much detail but I’m using spell check and I could use ebonics.) We then get the added treat of a repeat of that debacle where Ray yanks out Roode costing a no contest. Retaining the title. We now official start the show with Storm coming down to the ring announcing how he beat Angle for the #1 contendership and can’t wait to face down Roode at Against All Odds. But wait, just as he’s about to spout his catchphrase out comes Hardy. I have a feeling we will not get out one on one rematch between Roode and Storm? Hardy tells Storm that “no one is getting a title shot until he gets his final encounter.” Because now we live in Out World. Storm and Hardy have a mini face off talking of screwing and someone paying child support when out from the back comes Roode. The Charitable Champion has extended his limits with Hardy and tells James Storm that since the title match was a no contest his #1 contenders match is null in void. That is until Sting ” The Insane Icon”  Or as I call him Steve Borden, H.L.I.C tells the three men that tonight it will be The Cowboy James Storm vs The Charismatic Enigma Jeff Hardy, in a new #1 contenders match which doesn’t sit well with Roode.

    We cut to Angelina Love, who does her best valley girl impression talking about how Eric Young touched her which is disgusting seeing as how he looks like ROH’s answer to Grizzly Redwood. Or because she is in love with Winter making her disgusted by men period. She decides to delay the answer to that and give EY a shot at touching her in a match. She tells EY not to bring her boyfriend to the ring. Sorry I would take ODB over Angelina Love any day, even if she wore a Klanshood.

    Ric Flair, Manager extraordinaire leads Gunner out for his match against AJ Styles. What starts as a good match leads to repetition where Gunner gets mad and leaves the ring only to have Flair pep talk him back making for a stronger offense on his part. But the tide turns toward AJ that is until repetiton looms its head again. Chris Daniels along with his indentured servant Kaz march down to the ring. Like clockwork Flair distracts the referee leading for Kazarian to clothesline from the apron before sorrowfully walking back to his master. Gunner finishes off AJ with a spiked DDT for the win. But wait more repetition when Gunner goes outside the ring to finish off Styles. Daniels forces Kaz to watch but AJ gets away through the crowd.

    In the back Bully Ray confronts Steve for a title shot. Why? Because he’s a moron. Borden reminds Ray about all the interferences he’s caused for Roode. Flat out tells him no. Ray gets in his face only to be stared down like a bully should. Magnus and Samoa Joe go on to what i suspect to be wonder years that tonight Magnus is going to kick the (bleep) out of Crimson or some such I could tell. Especially when Crimson shown his face during the interview and my computer screen went all (bleep) for about 10 to 15 seconds. That match follows.

    And like a Early Mike Tyson fight it is over in three minutes. Crimson gets some early offense a couple of heel pins and is suddenly taken down with the Sky HIgh or Crimson Sky which it is now called. Joe comes out and jumps Crimson from behind hence the beatdown can commence. Heels make their point with Magnus sporting the belt for a milisecond.

    For the second week in a row we have a advertisement for a product on Impact. I shouldn’t take because WWE has done worse. Subway anyone. Any who Eric is standing outside a Bellator truck confronting one of the cooks about being an undercover fighter, but she nothing but annoyed by the accusation and flees as fast as possible. ODB arrives and tells EY to take on Angelina with the promise of “booty bam?” At this point even ODB doesn’t know what she is saying other than code for let me out so I can try out for the WWE. But a job is a job.

    We get another clip of The Rise of Nepotism which is Garett Bischoff. We get a recap (repetition) of Garett and his stand off with his dad Eric B last week along with added footage of him training with what I presume is the Black Dynamite fight instruction team meets Rocky. That is until he looks into the camera to tell his dad wait till you meet my trainer. I sense the return of Hulkamania brewing and it will more than likely be revealed during the England tapings. Yippee!!

    Its time for a steel cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne Part II, hopefully this one won’t be 2 minutes long and result in the most quietest moment in a TNA Knockout match. It goes longer but its no Tara vs Mickie. Mickie wins with a jumping spiked DDT for the win before shooting one of the fakest backstage scene where her “girlfriends” Tara and Velvet Sky welcome her and Wonder Years starts asking subpar questions which lead to a brain dead moment. A win over Madison Rayne is like beating a homeless man for a quarter, its more shameful than anything.

    The intergender match is happening which still doesn’t make any kind of sense. Spike TV doesn’t allow male on female violence. So what we get instead is a quick promo of ODB in the back living out her darkest fantasy on Angelina involving Love’s saline filled breast being ripped off. This is all before Winter pops out and beats then whips ODB which would be slightly erotic if not for the upcoming visual of Love talking on Grizzly Young.  The match commences in what could be described as a blatant waste of time. EY locks up with the ref not once but twice he even locks up with a fan. This all before he gets into the ring to wrestle Angelina who simply kicks Young in the junk ending the match in a disqualification. Winter enters and helps Love beat down on EY. Because male on female violence is bad but female on male violence is kosher? Okay. ODB joins the fray and is beat down also. That is until Eric throws them both out of the ring? Isn’t that male on female violence?

    One bright spot exists. Alex Shelley returns! To reignite his feud with his long time rival Austin Aries. Double Yeah! He also tells the fans what we’ve all been thinking, We need the MCMG back pronto so we can actually have some good tag matches. I have love for The Best of Five series.

    The Main Event: I will keep this short. Bully Ray interferes beats down both opponents and the referee. This while Sting is doing nothing but twiddling his thumbs in the back. But wait Sting comes out with a bat to chase off the Bully. This of course leaves Roode positioned to come in and nail Storm with the belt. Declaring a No contest standing smug in the ring. Lets just drag this three way through the tapings.

     

     

     

  6. Pintnoir’s Impact Review 9-29

    6 Comments

    Here I am to take over the Impact Wrestling review. Boy do I have my work cut out for me. No Barkley or Daffney to assist.

    Sorry Daff, but the drunk tank you will stay

    We open on Impact and the continuing story of Bobby Roode’s rise to the top. Kurt Angle and Roode exchange words. Is it me or do I see a swerve coming with this whole Roode as champion pursuit?

    I know. I know I will regret this later.

    We now have the 5-man ladder match for the number one contenders match against Austin Aries for the X division gold. After a somewhat cluttered affair, where Aladdin (Kendrick) in all his Disney glory and steals a victory out from under Kid Kash.

    Go Make the street rat proud, Kendrick

    Kaz and Tracy get called out to the ring by The Jarretts, where JJ badmouths Kaz about leaving the company multiple times and how Jarrett kept taking him back despite his flip flopping. He then targets his venom on Ms Brooks for being disrespectful to his wife.  Calling her a “10 cent whore” which causes Kaz to punch Jeff. Soon security or the retired wrestlers brigade come out to separate them. It all comes to a head when Gunner comes out and F5’s Kaz. (Where’s Fourtune?)

    She slept with the owner of the company,

    Ink Inc comes out and gets jumped by Mexican America before a singles match between Hernandez and Jesse Neal could take place. After a swift beating and two big splashes by SuperMex, The Sitas spray paint NWO style on there backs the groups initials.

    Promo Flair argues with Hogan about his announcement and tells him not to do it. (Why again, would Flair care?) Next Promo is the pre match hype for Tara vs Madison for the Queen’s Qualifier’s Match. The winner taking on Velvet, Mickie and Knockout Champion Winter for the title.  Crimson returns.

    Knockouts Queen’s Qualifier Match, Madison Rayne comes out in camo wrestling gear and Tara follows with one half of the now pointless tag belts. “Accessories anyone?” What starts out to be a very promising match….sorry I couldn’t keep a straight face. Soon turns to farce when Earl Hebner gets involve and starts choosing sides. Madison uses her charms to get Earl to make calls on her behalf which leads to an eventual reveal and her luck turns for the worse only for her to win with

    She "slept" with a higher up for her old position, So tell me who is the better hoe?

    her feet on the ropes sealing Tara’s fate as her bitch.

    Even though she won't win they still show that she is an asset, and not a hinderance

    Christopher Daniels brags about his victory over Styles.

    Crimson comes out and calls out Joe. After some back in forth in which Joe calls Crimson his “bitch” a fight ensues which leads to Crimson to be put in the figure four leglock while still suffering from a fractured ankle. But don’t worry Morgan shows to save the day. After a quick clearing of the ring we have the two big men stare each other down until Morgan gives Crimson a friendly man pat on the chest.

    Next we have two underrated superstars Dinero versus Anderson. Let us make it quick. Devon’s kids interfere which causes Devon to come out. While that whole mess is going on we have Anderson in the ring at which point Ray hits him with the Singapore cane which Pope slyly picks up the victory.

    Sappy Roode promo in which I get early vibes of a wrestler’s version of Rocky. Roode makes the usual promises of training and going into BFG and winning the world title.

    Will he have what it takes to beat Apollo Angle for the World Title?

    Main Event: AJ Styles versus Bobby Roode. A really good match leading to Roode winning with a cross-face.

    Hogan comes out to announce his retirement. Or more correctly tease it for next week. Good way to try to boost ratings with a fake RETIREMENT promo. Sting listens back stage calling Hogan a academy award winning actor, Sting closes the show promising to be in Knoxville, Tennessee for the announcement.

    You know your announcement is on thin ice when even the Joker calls you on it.

    So that is all for Impact for this week. See you next week when we witness a Knoxville audience.

  7. Destination X- Return of six sided ring- a critique

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    The six sided ring has returned, along with Tenay and Borash on the announce team.  Instead of doing a match by match review I would like to point out what worked (for me) what was okay and what didn’t.

    First what did work.

    The match of the night. Bar none. The contract signing 4 way. Watching these men rip each other apart for a chance at a iMPACT wrestling contract was amazing, it went so fast and so furiously with all the near falls and counters that I felt that my brain melted from all the excitement. And you know its good when the crowd is hyped. The feeling was a warm one to say the least. Even the interviews leading up to the match throughout the show got me hyped. Seeing snippets of their personalities against the interviewer So Cal Val was just icing on the cake. When it was all over and the winner was announced I know along with the audience that Impact should of signed all four competitors.

    Winner Austin Aries.

    The Ultimate X: Number #1 contenders match.

     

    With the Motor city Machine Guns and Ink Inc on the shelves for the time being, we have both Shannon Moore and Alex Shelley going solo for a chance at the X division championship. The other two contenders Amazing Red and (sigh) Robbie E also came in to make an almost well rounded match. Innovative on the part of Shannon Moore toward the end on finding a way to reach the X. Amazing Red pulled a sick spot where he was tossed out the ring, corkscrewing onto Moore and Shelley on the outside. Even though I will mention him in the bad category, Robbie E pulled some decent maneuvers to keep the others away from the prize. Nothing fancy but it was better than his match against Kaz and Gen Me. But in the end Alex Shelley fulfilled his dream and won. This of course lead to Chris Sabin walking out to congratulate him to applause from the crowd.

    winner Alex Shelley

    *The return of Shark Boy

    *Brian Kendrick winning the X championship

    *Cameos by Curry Man and Suicide

    Now time for the okay.

    AJ Styles vs Daniels/ Jerry Lynn vs RVD

    I know some fans may argue but sorry these matches reminded me of Jarrett vs Angle at Slammiversary, their earlier matches were ten times better and it just seemed to planned out ring wise. Everything seemed to paint by numbers I’m trying to say. Especially when you look at RVD vs Lynn, its as if they watched videos of their earlier ECW bouts and paste and copied it into their match. All that was missing was Bill Alphonso and a Philadelphia arena. As for the Daniels/Styles match it just seemed to plodding and not innovative enough to best their earlier encounters, specifically the Iron man match. For Nostalgia purposes and to help the buy rate of the PPV this just seemed forced and lackluster.

    winner Styles/RVD

    Kazarian vs Samoa Joe

    This match seemed good on paper with the hopes of seeing past moves/finishers I was cheated out of the Reverse Flux Compassitor?! Joe put on some good spots with the suicide dive but everything was on his end was expected. Kaz who should of brought it for me to be convinced just seemed to do average work which resulted in a lame roll up pin after reversing the Samoan chokeout. Even the fans were chanting B.S. It was short and felt rushed.

    winner Kaz

    Now comes the bad. And boy was it bad.

    Douglas Williams vs Matt Haskins (who?)

    This was so out of place it was sickening watching Williams trying to hype up Haskins as a fellow Brit to which the crowd chanted (Who are You) was hysterically bad. The kid was nervous albeit he had some good spots but it didn’t excuse his slip up on the turnbuckle delaying the finish. This was essentially a dark match inserted into the PPV. No one cared to see it and the finish which came after the Kaz vs Joe match was an insult. Another roll up pin following a botched finisher?

    winner Douglas Williams

    Generation Me vs Shark boy/Eric Young

    Shark Boy’s return aside everyone could tell that due to the sidelining of MCMG this was just thrown together to give Gen Me an opponent. Failed opportunities all around. EY was still EY even though he did put his talented all in the ring. Gen Me shown brightly even though every time I watched the match (excitement of Shark Boy withstanding) I really wanted to see a rematch with the Guns. In the end EY and Shark Boy win with a double chummer/wheelbarrow.

    winner EY and Shark boy

    Oh wait I forgot, why is Eric Young looking like a rip off of Ring of Honor gimmick wrestler Grizzly Redwood? Championship beard my ass. I just thought about it why not just have the television title defended where Eric Young took on Douglas Williams saving us sans Shark Boy of two unnecessary matches?

    The over booking of the Kendrick vs Abyss Championship match.

    I knew something was up when this match preempted the Styles/Daniels. Again like Slammiversary when the championship match is before a non title match you know overbooking is looming. That aside the match was the definition of ignominious, Kendrick bounced around off Abyss like a bird hitting a sliding glass door. And when the match finally went from degrading to interesting what happens, a ref bump! And who should come out but Eric Bischoff. The man who the spotlight can never dodge, even Hogan missed it. One dress down later, Kendrick blasts Bischoff only to be attacked by Immortal, who are then attacked by the X division roster, Immortal after clearing the ring go to finish Kendrick only to be met with more X division wrestlers making them clear the ring. Then I’m treated to a repeat of the notoriously horrid Knockouts tag match finish from Victory Road where Rosita some how sat on Winter and held her down for 3 count. We see again this time with Kendrick playing the part of Rosita with Abyss as Winter just lying there while a little man pins him. This chimerical display of booking took me completely out of the match. Follow that with carnations? roses? falling from the rafters was the movie equivalent of a sappy teen romance ending.

    winner Brian Kendrick

    *Robbie E needs to stop selling like he’s having an epileptic seizure. It was distracting and you could even tell Amazing Red was bothered by it when he looked at him with a “are you serious” look after dropping him with a kick.

    There is no scintilla of a doubt that the X division will continue, with the additions of Haskins,Aries and Shelley now the number one contender we should see where this botched opportunity leads iMPACT Wrestling. Hopefully this is the sign that Dixie and Co have plans to furnish the Division with well rounded competitors who will wow us with their personalities and dare I say mic skills non gimmicky talk withstanding-looking at you, Kendrick-But we will have to wait. Until then I have to say Destination X was a “C” effort at best and C- at worst. Just average. Considering all the misused talent we could of seen better.

    *And the commentary was average, we needed Don West. West and Tenay would have elevated this to a B. Just saying.

     

     

  8. iMPACT Wrestling new era, will it include the X division? + rant

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    So we finally know the final four going into Destination X, Austin Aries vs Zima Ion vs Lowki vs Jack Evans. Liking the pedigree of this match and what could be had. Also we have the following matches to look forward to..

    Douglas Williams open challenge

    Ultimate X number one contenders match Shelley vs Moore vs Robbie E vs Red

    Jerry Lynn vs RVD

    Samoa Joe vs Kazarian

    Styles vs Daniels and

    Abyss (c) vs Kendrick

    From looking at this the pay per view looks good not great but good. The 35 dollar price tag considering that there isn’t any build up and it seems that this event was thrown together from the last month with really no build up (outside of the nostalgia matches and the contract four way) and that includes the Abyss championship reign against Kendrick considering he’s dominated Brian time and time again. But we have what we have.  For all purposes this seems more like a specialty PPV booking on nostalgia and just moving the belt onto (maybe) another person and to feud with whoever wins the Ultimate X match (here’s hoping for Shelley, who is long over due).

    I want to believe that the recent interview with Brian Kendrick is a work and him not shooting on the situation over in Dixieland. Where the buy rates of this PPV will determine whether or not the division is retired and the belt is merged ROH style with the World title, we really need this to work as fans of the product. We really don’t want to see a company who takes everything that made it different and unique, from the ring to the more beefed up divisions (Knockouts,X and Tag teams) and watch it become a mirror of Vince’s wrestling philosophy.

    What philosophy? you may ask?

    McMahon teaches that cruiser-weights are too dangerous and costly to have. So simply merge them in with the heavyweights in the hopes that like Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho and Benoit they persevere and eventually win the title.

    Women do not make good wrestlers. Their job during the Attitude Era where to entice, and shock with their sexuality not there wrestling moves. And in a friendlier environment they are there to give fans a chance for a bathroom break.

    And finally the TAG TEAM Division is dead. Essentially the only purpose of a tag team is to find the marketable wrestler of the two and jettison the other when the time is right. Making the belts set pieces to be worn at random.

    That also brings to mind the Ultimate X match for the number one contender ship, we have a deserving man Shelley taking on Shannon Moore, Amazing Red and the so out of place Robbie E. Why is Robbie E and not Max or Jeremy Buck part of the match? to me if TNA wants to use Robbie put him against Eric Young. Those two fighting over the television belt only makes sense, they have talent but are mired in comedy jobber ville.  Let me take you folks back to a time when WCW had their Television title champion the Disco Inferno defending his belt against Alex Wright, the German dancer, both men were humor material at best when first brought in but bonded with fans and put on some good matches even when the booking required dance offs and forced tag matches, we still saw them go one on one with each other over the belt and the fans were behind it. Put Robbie against Young, so we could finally have the belt defended without watching Young bounce from one humorless situation after another (besides the Wayne Arnold confrontation). Give us the Bucks, or even OKada, Kiyoshi someone who can actually wrestle that style to build to a feud worth watching.

    If the X division falls we know the knockouts and tag team is not far behind. It usually works like dominoes one falling after the other. So here is to Sunday (day before my birth) and the return of the X division in all its splendor and its hopeful place in iMPACT for years to come. Where it deserves to be.

     

  10. Impact Wrestling or how I see TNA in theory Pt. 2

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    Earlier when the prospect of TNA revamping its product and becoming iMPACT Wrestling arose I had an epiphany. What could be more awesome than what was going through my mind in terms of the available talent. I’ve touched on Orlando Jordan, Eric Young and the X division. I admit I only glazed over the division  but a more in depth plan will be done later along with the world X cup.
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