Happy Christokwanzaakkah, everyone! Hopefully your plates were full, your stockings stuffed, and your wishes granted. To balance out all that holiday cheer, I invite you to embark with me upon the exercise in masochism that is reviewing “Impact.” No one wishes it were otherwise more than I, but the self-delusion only goes so far.
Hoist that glass of egg nog and let’s cross the line!
Yes, it has a name now.
It’s that time of the week, so find the nearest line and cross it!
Woo hoo! We open with a wrestling match! Yaay! Oh. It’s Lance Rock versus Rhino. Less yaay.
According to a recent report on prowrestling.net, Kurt Angle says that he would go back to WWE right now if he could. His TNA contract expires next fall, and the Olympic gold medalist is said to be “unhappy with the creative direction of the company” and “does not have much faith in Jeff Jarrett’s lead.” The quote that provoked the strongest reaction, for me, at least, was that “He’s been vocal regarding his frustrations with creative both publicly and during conversations with Dixie Carter, and feelings of observers is that this is all leading toward a power struggle between Angle and Jarrett.”
Find a line, peoples, cuz it’s time to cross it!
We open with bizarre audio technical difficulties that make it sound as if, in addition to heavy static, everyone in the Front Line locker room has the voice of Invader Zim. The problem is corrected before Brother Ray gets too far into his troop-rallying promo, however. He tells the assemblage of Front Liners that they need to now stand up for themselves, and that the Main Event Mafia represents everything that they don’t want to become. The new revolution is starting tonight, and they need to do it for themselves, for the business, and for the people (the fans, one presumes) who pay their checks. Everyone is pumped and leaves the locker room with victory on the brain!
Your Empress of “Impact” is back for another week’s thoughts on TNA. And there was much rejoicing!
We open with the Main Event Mafia and the casket representing Christian Cage and his career. Kurt HHHAngle spews on about how Christian wouldn’t commit to the TNA family, and had been in negotiations with WWE, so he had to be taken out. And Kurt Angle, as well as the rest of the Main Event Mafia, cares so much about TNA as a company since when, precisely? The MEM could actually get over as heels if the faces would seriously call them out on their bovine fertilizer promos, and do so in a way that made sense. Aside from losing matches and constantly being beaten down, the TNA Originals are almost completely muzzled on the mic. At the very least, the one battle the young guys should always win is the battle of words.
TNA “Impact” Review (11/6/08) and “Turning Point” PPV Predictions
Greetings all, and welcome to the first of many TNA “Impact” reviews for boredwrestlingfan.com! Actually, it just looked bad not to have our own reviews posted…. In any case, as my hero Spider Jerusalem put it, “journalism is for the madly passionate,” and no review posted under the category of “Drowgoddess” makes the slightest pretext of being impartial and unbiased. Really, what fun would that be? Now that we’re all clear on that point, away we go!
TNA iMPACT Results – October 30, 2008
SOURCE: Wrestling-Radio.com
Highlights aired from last week’s live broadcast… The new HD opening montage aired… A shot of the Impact Zone showed a cool video screen with the TNA logo and a light show on the stage…
(full results after the jump!) (more…)
TNA iMPACT!
October 23, 2008
Las Vegas, Nevada (Hard Rock Hotel & Casino)
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Don West
Report by: Josh Boutwell of WrestleView.com
Tonight is the biggest show in the history of TNA’s Impact as TNA is on the road for the first time in its history for their weekly Impact show.
(Full results after the jump!) (more…)
Well, after successfully predicting No Mercy earlier this month, I thought I’d give TNA predictions a shot. I don’t expect them to be super accurate, because you never can tell what these TNA bookers are going to do…
TNA Championship: Samoa Joe (C) vs. Sting
Joe is gonna kill you… With the “no rematch” stipulation added this past Thursday on iMPACT, I don’t really expect to see Sting winning this – Joe’s just not ready to be pushed out of the main event.
Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett (Special Enforcer Mick Foley)
I don’t think we’ll see Angle win unless Foley turns on Jarrett. Since he’s new on the scene, I don’t know if I see that happening – but at the same time, I can’t see why Foley would be on the side of the young guys in this whole “respect” thing. Unless something drastic happens though, I’m taking Jarrett in this one.
Monster’s Ball Match for the World Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. (C) vs. LAX vs. Team 3D vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss
Quite frankly, I can see any of the four winning. I expect to see Beer Money get their asses handed to them, but somehow manage to retain their titles.
The Steel Asylum Match
Not sure who’s going to be in this match, but if they found somebody to replace Kaz in the role, I wouldn’t be surprised if Suicide debuts tonight and wins the match. If not, I’m not sure who would be in this match, let alone who might win.
TNA Knockouts Championship: Taylor Wilde (C) vs. Roxxi vs. Awesome Kong
Given recent events, where Taylor Wilde’s been feuding with The Beautiful People, and Roxxi’s been getting over on Kong, I’m going to give the nod, and JohnnyCraze if you’re reading this, remember that this is only a prediction, to Roxxi.
Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles vs. Booker T
I have no idea where they’re headed with this one. Let’s say Cage.
X-Division Championship: Shiek Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed
I can’t stand the Bashir character. That said, he’ll probably retain.
I won’t be around for the PPV tonight, but if you’re watching it, enjoy!
Tonight in the iMPACT Zone, Beer Money Inc and Jaqueline team up against LAX and Hector Guerrero, the losing team loses their manager. Also, TNA World Champion Samoa Joe takes on X-Division Champion Shiek Abdul Bashir, AJ Styles takes on Booker T, and Abyss & Matt Morgan team up to face The Rock N’ Rave Infection. All this, and Awesome Kong in action!
Full results after the jump! (more…)