Hey everybody. It’s your favorite WWE Superstars reviewer. I am here this week with actual thoughts this week instead of the generic results. Enjoy!
Match 1: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and Primo Colon
In the opening minutes of the match, Santino pulled off a Primo cartwheel and started power-walking off the ropes as William Regal just watched in confusion. Fear the Cobra! If he wasn’t funny, he would have been released a long time ago. I think this might be a last ditch effort to do something with Kozlov. Everything else has failed, so why not put him in a tag team. Primo has seemingly found a home on Superstars and lucky to still have a job. Regal is being underutilized. He was perfect as the GM on RAW.
As far as the match goes, the end comes when Primo goes for high flying cross body off the top rope and Kozlov catches him and drops him with the Iron Curtain. The winners of the match are Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella.
Match 2: Chris Masters vs Caylen Croft of the Dudebusters
Why haven’t they done more with Chris Masters? He’s the type of guy who should be in the Mark Henry role or chasing the US Title. I can’t stand the Dudebusters. They suck hard! Croft spends the majority of the match getting beat down like the jobber he should be, but he gets the victory after hitting a chop block and a DDT. The world is in complete disaray now as Caylen Croft picks up the victory over Chris Masters.
Main Event: MVP w/Percy “Oh Yeah” Watson vs Chavo Guerrero
Once upon a time there was a heavily hyped new superstar on Smackdown. He was pushed and eventually became a multiple time US Champion. He then was moved to RAW and is now lost on Superstars most weeks. That superstar is MVP.
Once upon a time there was another superstar who was part of a great wrestling family. He was a very good Cruiserweight, but then he became Kerwin White. After tragedy struck, he re-adopted his God given name and became the WWECW Champion. He lost in 8 seconds to a Big Red Monster, became a forgotten member of another family (La Familia), and then became a forgotten member of the WWE roster. He is now a staple of Superstars too. His name is Chavo Guerrero.
MVP picks up the win with the Play of the Day. Let this be a lesson; If you have a heavily hyped debut on Smackdown, you will probably end up on Superstars eventually. This means you, Alberto Del Rio. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon enough on WWE Superstars. And I’m hoping to see all of you again next week for another exhilirating show.
Match 1: Chris Masters and MVP w/Percy Watson vs The Dudebusters
MVP picks up the win for his team after he hit the 305 on Caylen Croft.
Match 2: Chavo Guerrero vs JTG
Chavo gets a rare win with the Frog Splash.
Match 3: Yoshi Tatsu vs Primo Colon
Primo gets the win after he stole his brother’s finisher.
Main Event: The Hart Dynasty vs The Uso’s
The Hart Dynasty gets the win with the Hart Attack. It was kinda cool looking. The Hart Attack was on Jay, but Tyson Kidd saw Jimmy coming and drop kicked him at the same time.
Hot on the heels of Money in the Bank, the main event tonight is a Triple Threat match between Edge, Randy Orton, and Chris Jericho! But will RAW’s Mr. Money in the Bank, The United States Champion, The Miz decide that Sheamus’ WWE Championship is too much for him to ignore? And what about John Cena? How is he going to react after Nexus interfered in his match last night? All these questions will – hopefully – be answered tonight on Monday! Night! RAW! Warning, also, a lot of block paragraphs tonight. Sorry.
@Niki_Sushi So… did anyone see Sheamus last night after the match? No? Me neither. White men can’t jump, but Irish men and RUUUUUUUUUUN. #BWF
Wade is going to fight Mark Henry alone tonight, and Nexus is banned from ringside.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge for a chance to face WWE Champion Sheamus at SummerSlam
Randy started out with a good advantage, hammering both Edge and Jericho away, but then Jericho gets Randy in the corner and hammers away on him, only for Edge to join, and then stand back and watch. Randy fights back into control, however, getting Edge out of the ring before throwing Chris into the turnbuckle. Edge shows his stealthy side by dropping off the apron and slamming Randy’s head into the top rope. Chris beats on Randy for a little bit, then starts yelling at Edge to do the same. Jericho holds Orton while letting Edge hit him, then the two take turns beating on Orton. They both Irish Whip him and then go to double back drop him, but Orton countered with a double DDT. Jericho rolled out of the ring, and Randy went for a cover on Edge. Edge kicked out at two. Afterward, Orton purposefully stomps on Edge and wears him down. Randy goes to hit the RKO on Edge, but Edge counters and Jericho hits the Codebreaker. Jericho went for a cover, but Edge broke it apart. Edge and Jericho roll out to the outside, and we go to commercial as Edge bounces Jericho’s head off the announce table.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KiraSwaggaholic This should be the goddamn MAIN EVENT wtf
We come back to Edge and Jericho still outside the ring, and I don’t actually see Randy. Nevermind, Randy’s inside the ring, and he takes out Chris, throwing him out of the ring and into Edge. Jericho goes to get back in, but Randy goes to pull him through. Edge gets up, but manages to get out as Orton DDT’s Jericho from the rope. Randy goes for a cover, but Edge breaks it and throws Randy out. Edge rushes into the ring to cover Jericho, but Chris kicks out at two. Edge goes back to Randy, throwing him back into the ring and going for a cover. Orton kicks out at two. Edge hits Randy and panders, in Jericho’s words, to the crowd, before proceeding to attack Randy’s face. He goes to run off the ropes, but Jericho pulls him out, and bounces his head off the announce table before attacking Randy. Jericho goes for a pin, using the ropes for leverage, but Randy kicks out at two. Jericho gets Randy in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Randy manages to stand and then powers out, gaining momentum with some clotheslines. A scoop slam into a cover on Jericho, but he kicks out at two. Jericho rolls out the apron, but Randy follows. He goes to set Jericho up for a DDT again, but Edge comes in. Randy gains momentum with a back breaker, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Randy gets Edge up and kicks him out of the ring. Randy sets Jericho up for the DDT off the ropes again, but Jericho counters and sets up the Walls of Jericho, locking them in. Randy pulls to the ropes, only for Jericho to pull him back to the center of the ring. Edge comes in and DDTs Jericho. Edge goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out. Edge goes into the corner, setting up the Spear. Jericho turns, but launches at Edge before he can Spear him, and sets him up into the Walls of Jericho. Edge makes it to the ropes, forcing Jericho to break the hold. Jericho goes to hit it again, but Edge counters into a roll up and Jericho kicks out at two. Orton tries to hit the RKO, but Edge counters and goes for the cover, for Randy to kick out at two. Edge goes to the opposite corner from before, and sets up the Spear. Edge runs for the Spear, but Jericho attacks. Jericho rolls Edge up, Edge kicks out. Edge rolls Randy up, Randy kicks out. Then, all three of them clothesline each other.
Jericho sends Edge out of the ring, and then Randy goes for the RKO, Jericho counters. Jericho goes for Lionsault, Randy moves out of the way. Randy begins pounding on the mat, and then hits the RKO on Jericho, then on Edge. He pins Edge for the victory.
Randy Orton wins via pinfall!
<COMMERCIAL>
Edge has stayed in the ring the entire commercial break, and is demanding that Chris comes back out, saying that ‘this has gone on between us for too long.’ Chris does come back out, asking what Edge’s problem is. Edge asks how many a lot and I missed about three of them. He says that it has to end right here, right now, tonight. Chris grabs a mic, after demanding it. For the first time in eleven years, they agree on something: It’s going to end tonight. Chris is the reason that Nexus has achieved what they have. If Chris just snaps his fingers, Nexus would do whatever he wanted them to. He could call Nexus out here and take years off not only his career, but his life. Edge doesn’t think that Nexus agrees, and they’d take Edge up on his offer first. Looks like Nexus is going to answer, because they’re coming out now.
Wade says they’re both veterans and Nexus would be lucky to call either of them an ally. They’ve had successful, innovative, Hall of Fame careers. But, Jericho was right. Nexus wouldn’t take years off his career, they’d end it. Nexus then attacks Edge, and Jericho’s bouncing around pretty excited. Edge is then Speared by Sheffield. Chris then puts Edge in the Walls of Jericho, with Nexus still surrounding them. Chris seems to realize where he is, because he lets Edge out, staring at Nexus.
Wade says that Edge was also right. They would really like to shut up the guy who’s claiming to be behind Nexus’ success. They surround him, and Chris attacks Barrett, clinging to him as Nexus tries to pull him off. They finally get him off and start wailing away on him. Barrett claims that Jericho didn’t teach him anything. Nexus then lifts Jericho, and Otunga takes him down.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Hey, at least @IAmJericho went down swinging, just like the best in the world should!
Nexus is walking backstage, and they go into the Nexus locker room. Wade is stopped by Josh Matthews, who says that there is no question he has the most powerful group in the WWE. I missed the rest of this part because I was talking to my grandmother. Sorry.
Sheamus comes up to Barrett and says he has a proposal. Wade tells him to step into his office, and Sheamus says he’d rather wait out there. Pansy ass.
John is waiting in the locker room area, and is doing an interview with Michael Cole from ringside. Cena says he didn’t shake Barrett’s hand out of foolish pride and because he thought he could stop Barrett. No one could stop Barrett. Edge and Jericho were decimated, Nexus attacked last night, and Cena can see the writing on the wall. What Cena’s saying is that tonight, he’d like to meet Wade Barrett and Nexus in the ring, because he’s got something to say. King asks why, and Cena says that they’ve cost him everything. They say that you’re either Nexus, or against us. Right now, Cena’s if you can’t beat ‘em… and he walks away.
<COMMERCIAL>
Eve Torres vs. Maryse with Ted DiBiase
Ted returns the favor tonight and accompanies Maryse to the ring. Last night, Maryse actually got in the ring and climbed the ladder. John Morrison pulled her down and put her out of the ring, by the way. Maryse takes off a ring or something and hands it to the ref. Hoshit, Ted is on commentary. Maryse trash talks Eve for a while, but Eve shoves her away. Maryse hits her back with a good slap, and then kicks her into the ropes. Ted says Maryse isn’t a gold digger. Maryse is dominating this match, flinging Eve around however she wants to. However, Eve fights back, getting Maryse down, and going for a pinfall. However, Maryse gets her foot on the rope. The ref never seems to see it. However, and Ted starts yelling at the ref. Eve rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp.
Eve Torres wins via pinfall!
Morrison comes down and attacks Ted, hitting Starship Pain on DiBiase. Sheamus is making his way to… somewhere. I think it’s the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 I’ll admit I enjoy seeing Maryse laying on her back, but…that match could have lasted a few more minutes. Damn, no French kiss! #WWE #RAW
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus comes down to the ring and everyone wonders what it is that he could possibly have to say about or to Nexus?
Sheamus says to let the records show: He’s beaten Cena in tables, fatal four way, and a steel cage match. He beat Cena for the first time and it was called a fluke. A second time? Luck. Now that it’s the third time, and the word is dominance. What now for Cena? He’s in Sheamus’ past. He gets the back of the line and he won’t get another title shot against Sheamus anytime soon. He should have done what Sheamus did earlier tonight. He went and found Barrett, walked up to him, and said he wanted, no, demanded a truce. He explained to Barrett that one year ago, no one had ever heard of Sheamus or Nexus. But now, they’re both the two most powerful entities in the entire WWE. He explained that they don’t have to like each other, they’ll stay out of each other’s business. Barrett agreed, and as of tonight, the truce is in effect. It’s good news for Sheamus, but bad for Orton. The only way Orton can beat Sheamus is Nexus’ interference, but that’s gone now, so Orton doesn’t stand a chance. He’ll suffer the same fate as Cena. He can sit back and watch as Sheamus becomes the longest reigning champion of all time.
AWESOME!
Miz comes down with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Miz congratulates Sheamus on getting rid of the Nexus problem. Now, Sheamus has a bigger problem: A Miz problem. Sheamus doesn’t control the fate of the WWE Championship, Miz does, because he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. He can cash it in anytime he wants for a WWE Championship match. Anytime Sheamus is in that ring, Miz will be watching him. Say Sheamus beats Orton at SummerSlam, but as Sheamus gets his hand raised, Sheamus is hit with an RKO, and Miz will be there. What if Sheamus is interviewed backstage, and Miz beats him and drags him out to the ring, and beats him? Regardless of who’s champion, Miz can wait for the moment that his entire career has been leading to, to Main Event Wrestlemania! Or maybe Miz forgets about all that and cashes it in tonight. Either way, Sheamus can call Miz his celebrity stalker, because every breath he takes, every move he makes, Miz will be watching him, because he’s the Miz, and he’s awesome! Sheamus interrupts, saying he’s the WWE Champion, and Miz is nothing.
You’ve got Mail!
GM: Should The Miz want to cash in the Money in the Bank contract tonight, take a seat at ringside. Sheamus will be in action right now against this man…
You are cleared for takeoff…
WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne
Evan gets early momentum, sending Sheamus right out of the damn ring. And then, commercial.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi ‘Were there any smilie-faces at the end of that e-mail?’ The answer is yes. But Cole’s too stupid to say ‘smiley-face-smiley-face’. #BWF
We come back to Sheamus rolling back out of the ring. Sheamus shoves Evan into the apron, and they both climb back into the ring. Evan gets back with some sharp kicks, and Sheamus Irish Whips Evan, only for Evan to kick him in the face. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus sends Evan into the turnbuckle, and then keeps him in the corner with some kicks and knees. Sheamus wraps Evan around the turnbuckle and pulls on him from the outside, releasing at four. Sheamus climbs back into the ring, keeping Evan down. Sheamus hammers Evan with some forearms before putting him into some weird ass submission move. Evan fights to his feet and then tries to fight back, only to get planted on the mat. Sheamus goes for the cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus pulls Evan up by his hair and shoves him right back down before going back to work on the shoulder of Evan. Evan fights out of it, and hits Sheamus with some hard kicks. Sheamus sends him into the corner and literally slaps him silly, only for Evan to kick the hell out of his head. Sheamus misses a clothesline, and Evan puts his foot in Sheamus’ jaw. Evan goes for a cover on Sheamus, but Sheamus kicks out at two. Sheamus is down, and Evan goes to the top rope. Miz is on the edge of his seat, ready, but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Evan jumps out to the outside, landing right on Sheamus. The ref starts his count. Sheamus gets back in, and Evan’s still being counted on. He gets back up to the apron, and is kicked coming in. Sheamus hits the big boot, and covers Evan for the win.
WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall!
Miz applauds, almost sarcastically, at Sheamus’ victory. Miz then hits Sheamus right in the ribs with the briefcase, followed by a shot to the back. He seems to be considering cashing in, and gets Sheamus up, attempting to go for the Skull Crushing Finale, and hits it, planning Sheamus’ face on the briefcase. Miz cashes it in.
Truth runs out, and Miz climbs out, taking his briefcase back. Truth attacks Miz, as Miz tries to leave. Miz takes the briefcase and leaves. Since the bell never rang, it’s not an official match up, thus he never cashed it in, officially.
<COMMERCIAL>
@BrdWrstlngFn I can only imagine the RAW review if @MikeTheMiz wins the title right here…
–Hey! Don’t mock me!! I’m behaving!! I usually behave!! I keep it… mostly… unbiased… sometimes.
@Niki_Sushi To RAW fans, you are extremely lucky Miz didn’t win the title tonight. There would have been no review, just a Mizfit ranting on Miz. #BWF
–Hey! Nu-uh!!! I… I would have made it a very fair RAW review. DAMN YOU BOTH! … J/K. I love you both.
Miz is backstage, and Josh says that he has to be furious because R-Truth ruined it for him. Miz says that Truth just cost him the WWE Championship. He had Sheamus unconscious. Make no mistake, there will be other opportunities. He has an entire year. So whether it’s tomorrow night, or July 17th, 2011, he will take his rightful place as WWE Champion. Because he’s the Miz, and he’s AWESOME… and pissed.
Sheamus is walking backstage with an icepack over his head, and stops at the Divas, The Bellas, and Gail, who are laughing, demanding to know if they think it’s funny. He continues on, but Randy stops him. He says that it’s too bad what just happened. Having the WWE Championship makes Sheamus a target, and come SummerSlam, whether it’s Sheamus, Miz, or whoever, they will be wearing a giant bull’s eye. Randy won’t hit that bull’s eye with an arrow, spear, or bullet. He’s going to hit the bull’s eye with an RKO.
What’s Cena calling Nexus to the ring for?! We’ll find out later tonight.
<COMMERCIAL>
@IAmJHPunk Fact: Bullets, spears, and arrows hurt more than RKOs. #wwe #raw #bwf
John Morrison is on the cover of Muscle & Fitness!!
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
Honestly, I thought that Santino would be done by now… Seems they’re funny enough to keep around. Sucks that Zack is here instead of… wherever he used to be… Nevermind, he’s fine here. Anyway, Santino and Ryder start off, and I miss Ryder’s one-legged trunks. Santino’s pulling some Diva-esque moves here, and Ryder seems confused. Santino tags in Kozlov, and Ryder tags in Regal. Kozlov gets the advantage over Regal and tags in Santino, who’s almost immediately beaten up by Regal. Regal covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Regal tags in Ryder, who does something and then covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Ryder gets Santino in a headlock. Ryder keeps the advantage, going for something off the turnbuckle, but Santino moved. Santino kicks Ryder away from him and tags in Kozlov, who throws Ryder around the ring like he’s nothing. Kozlov goes for a cover, but Regal comes in, and Kozlov is up. Regal rolls out, Kozlov plants Ryder, and Kozlov tags in Santino, who does something, and then goes for the cover, and wins.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall!
Santino celebrates, and Kozlov actually manages to smile, though he doesn’t seem quite as excited as Santino. Nexus is all together in the back, talking before the Barrett v Henry match up. Remember, Nexus can’t be ringside.
<COMMERCIAL>
Wade Barrett vs. Mark Henry
I’m actually wondering what kind of a match this is gonna be… I think Mark Henry just got lucky for Money in the Bank, to be honest, but we’ll see… Hey!!! Maybe Mark will actually split Wade’s weave! … Oh, right… white Englishman. No weave… my bad.
Henry goes for Wade, but Wade climbs out of the ring. He climbs back in, and then goes to attack, Mark, but Mark head butts him right down, and Wade rolls out. The ref starts the count, and Wade climbs back in. They lock up again, and Wade hits Mark with a knee to the gut. A few good hits seem to be pissing Mark off. Each hit looks like it’s making Mark madder, until Mark just punches Wade in the head, and bounces his head off the turnbuckle. Wade’s down after a big clothesline by Mark Henry. Henry goes for a cover, but Barrett kicks out. Henry gets Barrett up and then head butts him. Wade gets up, head butts him back, and takes the lead. He focuses his attack on Henry’s knee, but is taken down with a scoop slam. Henry goes for the cover, but Barrett kicks out at two. Barrett is dragged over to the corner, and Henry gets up, but is distracted as Nexus comes down on the stage. They’re not ringside, so it doesn’t count. Barrett manages to lift Henry, but literally falls, selling it pretty well, for what it was, and covers Henry for the win.
Wade Barrett wins via pinfall!
After the match, Wade Barrett shoves Henry out of the ring. Lifting him seems to have done its damage to his back, because Barrett’s holding it. Barrett gets a mic, and calls out Cena.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Wade Barret’s gonna regret that when he shits his spine out later tonight.
Nexus is still in the ring, and I swear it looks like Slater has girl legs, and Young’s hair is actually down, instead of straight the hell up. Not bad, actually.
Tarver says that they already made one truce tonight, and they give them his word that they will at least hear him out… If he acknowledges that the Nexus run this show. If he understands that if he continues with this resistance, then they will make his life miserable for the rest of John’s “little” career. This furthers @ThinkSoJoe’s theory of Daniel Bryan running RAW, but whatever. If Cena apologizes for attacking Tarver and Young, then they may consider ending it. But it’s all on Cena.
BRRRRRRRRRRRR YABBA DABBA DOO!!
Nexus is lined up, all nice and neat, and Cena doesn’t even get in the ring yet. He thanks them for meeting him out there. He gets in the ring and says that since Nexus arrived, he’s had two WWE Championship matches. The first, they cost him the Championship, and the second they prevented him from winning it back. Tonight, Sheamus made a truce with them, something he should have done a long time ago. He apologizes, and asks them for a truce as well. Barrett says no. He’s not interested in a truce, or an olive branch. He’s not looking for peace. He wants Cena to join Nexus. Think about it, everything he’s achieved on his own, he can achieve ten times that by joining Nexus. Face facts: Nexus is the present and the future of the WWE, and together they’re gonna be unstoppable. To be perfectly honest, this isn’t really much of a choice. He’s either Nexus, or ‘against us’. Does John wanna make history together by joining?
Cena says he can’t do it. Wade says that’s unfortunate, and it leaves Nexus with a different proposition. Either Cena can leave the ring with his tail between his legs and show the world what a coward he really is, or he can stand in the ring and Nexus will give him the most vicious beating Nexus has ever administered. Cena climbs out of the ring and walks up the ramp. He stops at the stage and says he wants to say one more thing, something he’s said time and time again. Whether he does it himself, or has help, he will take each and every one of them down. He’s walking back toward the ring. Tonight’s little peace offering was a test. They sealed their fate, because Cena has help. Ever since Nexus came and started beating people up, Cena’s been forming a team. A team that will take down Nexus at SummerSlam. They said they wanted him to join the Nexus, to make history. Tonight, Cena wants them to meet his team and realize that at SummerSlam, Nexus is history.
Cena’s Team: Edge. John Morrison. R-Truth. Khali. Chris Jericho. Bret Hart.
Cena’s Army, as Cole called them, stormed the ring, and Nexus ran.
My thoughts: Well, the Cena vs. Nexus thing is going to be interesting at SummerSlam. I like Cena, Edge, Morrison, Truth, and Jericho, but Khali? I don’t remember Khali being intimidating lately, at all. And as for Bret Hart… it could be really interesting, but it could be a complete screw up at the same time. Guess we’ll just have t see how it plays off.
Match 1: Primo Colon and Jillian vs Yoshi Tatsu and Gail Kim (Bella Twins are Special Guest Referees)
Gail Kim rolls up Jillian with a very quick count by one of the Bella’s.
Match 2: Zack Ryder vs Goldust
Zack Ryder doesn’t wear the half pants tonight, but instead just goes with the trunks. Ryder gets the win with the Ruff Ryder.
Masterlock Challenge: The Dudebusters
First, Masters locked it on Croft, then he invited Baretta to take the challenge. As Masters was about to lock it in on Baretta, Croft jumped in and The Dudebusters inflicted a little double team punishment on him.
Main Event: LayCool vs Tiffany and Kelly Kelly
Really??? This is the main event? Absolutely pathetic. Layla gets the pin when Michelle McCool kicked Kelly Kelly in the face with the referee distracted by Tiffany.
Terribly sorry everyone, but I feel like crap. I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m just exhausted and what not. So, thanks to that… I’m going to be shortening the RAW review to the bare minimum. Just the important parts and the matches/who won. So… yeah. Here we go!
According to the commercial that came on about five minutes before RAW did, Eve has invoked her rematch clause for the Diva’s Championship against Alicia Fox, and tonight, we’ll find out what the mystery General Manager has in store for Nexus.
We start of RAW with Nexus (and Wade Barrett this week) standing in a line in the ring. Wade says attacking Vince McMahon was just part of a bigger picture. Sheffield says that they attacked Ricky Steamboat and the Legends just for fun, which wasn’t why they attacked the others. An email from the GM says that he’s decided on a punishment for Nexus for their attack on Vince: None of the Nexus can compete for a WWE Title until further notice. Furthermore, the ruling of Nexus members not being able to touch WWE Superstars and vice-versa has been lifted. Cena comes out, followed by Randy, Truth, Evan, John Morrison, and the Hart Dynasty. the Superstars are attacked by Sheamus, Uso’s, Ted, Jericho, Miz, and Edge. Nexus has disappeared. The faces are left standing in the ring. Sheamus says that the heels don’t want to help him. Randy says that he and Cena will never be friends unless they have to, and says that they should finish what they started with the seven heels. An email from the GM says that if they want action, they’ll get it. All eight members of the Money in the Bank Ladder Match will be against one another in singles competition. Cena will face Barrett tonight, but it won’t be a match. The GM want Cena and Barrett to call a truce. Cena says that instead of calling a truce, how about he knocks Barrett’s teeth out. GM says he needs Cena to be the bigger man and he trusts Cena to do the right thing, or else his actions will be met with the appropriate consequences, and… that’s the bottom line, because the GM said so.
<COMMERCIAL>
John Morrison vs Ted DiBiase with Maryse
Maryse sits ringside and calls Cole out for calling her a gold digger. I’m actually a little amused by her, especially that she answered the phone during the match, and just insults Cole. It makes me laugh. Anyway, she jacks Morrison’s jacket and distracts him so that Ted can get a cheap shot… or four? DiBiase hits Dream Street for the win.
Ted DiBiase wins by pinfall.
Santino and Vladimir Kozlov make their way to the ring (“Italia and Russia together again! Like World War 2! Except this time, no Nazis.” – Santino Marealla), and later, John Cena and Wade Barrett are supposed to call a truce… yeah right.
<COMMERCIAL>
Slam of the Week: Vladimir Kozlov defeats Santino Marella and then beats up William Regal after Regal attacks Santino.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and The Great Khali
Regal calls them oxygen thieves before the match even starts and makes me laugh. Regal calls Khali a monster, which makes me roll my eyes… At any rate, Kozlov demolishes Regal, then tags Santino in, almost getting in trouble, Santino gets demolished by Regal, and Kozlov pins Regal.
Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella win via pinfall.
After the match, Khali climbs in the ring, and tells Santino and Vladimir to stand Regal up, and just knocks him in the head. Khali and Santino, and Ranjin, dance, and Vladimir wonders where his days of glory went off to.
Later on tonight, Edge brings Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne to The Cutting Edge, as well as information on Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and the other Legends after last week’s assault.
<COMMERCIAL>
Arn Anderson says that Ricky’s attack was serious. Sheamus shows up and mocks Anderson, essentially, calling him a pathetic old man. Anderson says that they have to get out of the way of their egos and work on Nexus, or the company, and their careers, are going to go up in flames.
<COMMERCIAL>
United States Champion The Miz vs R-Truth
Miz come sout to Truth’s theme and is rapping, which made me die… It was hilarious. Before the match even starts, he starts beating on Truth, while I’m still laughing my ass off… Anyway, Miz just goes off on Truth’s arm. The bell never officially rang, but for my ego’s sake…
The United States Champion The Miz wins… by ass-kicking.
<COMMERCIAL>
The Cutting Edge: Money In the Bank Pay-Per-View Edition
Edge makes his way to the ring, set up with ladders, and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He says that he’s smarter than Randy and everyone else there. Why make seven enemies, when he can make seven powerful allies? They just need leadership, which he can provide. He goes to call out Evan Bourne, but Jericho comes out instead.
Jericho says he doesn’t take a back seat to anyone, and that Edge is shamelessly pandering to Nexus. He was Wade Barrett’s pro, and that helped him win the season. Chris told Barrett to make an impact, do something never done before. Edge rubs the loss to Evan Bourne in, and Jericho rubs Edge’s loss at Wrestlemania in. Edge starts to give Jericho a history lesson, but Edge just wants to be Jericho, according to Jericho. Edge gets sick of Jericho and attacks him. Jericho attacks back and puts Edge in the walls of Jericho, but Evan comes out and hits Jericho. Then, he jumps over a Spear, ducks under both of them, and flips right out of hte ring. Then the GM sends an email.
The GM says if the audience want to see some action, give him a HELL YEAH. So, they’re clearing the ring of The Cutting Edge stuff, and the following is going to take place.
<COMMERCIAL>
Edge and Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne and Randy Orton
Starts off with Orton and Bourne getting some really good momentum, and then Jericho turns it around right before the commercial break. When we come back, Edge still has the momentum over Bourne, mostly thanks to Jericho beating Bourne during the break. Randy almost had Jericho set up for the RKO, but Edge interfered and Jericho manage to hit the insigari. Bourne gets tagged in, and Jericho starts to yell and berate Edge, so Edge spears him. Bourne hits the Air Bourne for the win.
Randy Orton and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.
Afterward, Randy hits an RKO on Evan, and smirks toward the ramp.
<COMMERCIAL>
Randy walks backstage, and Nexus stops him. Otunga says that nothing was against Randy, but the WWE Championship match at Fatal 4Way was just to make a statement. They’re trying to apologize, and they won’t interfere in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, but they can’t promise anything for the steel cage match. Otunga says he wants Randy to think about hit next time Cena tries to recruit him. Randy says he’s heard what they have to say, now get out of his face.
During the previous commercial break, the GM emailed and said that the Hart Dynasty would defend their Unified Tag Team Championships against The Uso’s. The Uso’s and Tamina tell Josh Matthews that this is the opportunity of the lifetime. They say they’ll be the new Tag Team Champions, and next week, everyone will know what the Uso’s and Tamina are all about. Alicia seems upset that she hasn’t been interviewed once since she became the Diva’s Champion. She asks if it’s because she’s not important, or because he doesn’t care what she has to say, and the WWE Universe says that, yeah, she’s pretty much right. Anyway, next is the Diva’s Championship match.
<COMMERCIAL>
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres for the Diva’s Championship
Pretty standard Diva’s match, with Alicia faking an ankle injury to get Eve off guard to retain.
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox retains via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
The GM says that next week, Edge and Randy Orton will go one on one.
Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring as we get back from the commercial break. Wade says that he wants Cena to come out so they can shake hands like men.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER FOOD!!!!
Cena comes out and starts checking for Nexus. He gets in the ring, still looking for Nexus. Wade says that Cena is not in Nexus’ future plans, regardless of what they’ve done. Barrett wants to put everything in the past behind them so that they can move on. The simple fact is that the Nexus Seven are going to be there for a long time and can make his life easy, or a lot harder than it has been. The choice is Cena’s.
Cena asks, if they shake hands, it stops? No more looking over his shoulder? Cena says that the anonymous GM wanted to do this truce, but Cena needs to know if Barrett does, and he needs Barrett’s word. If they shake hands, this stops. Cena holds his hand out, and Barrett goes to shake it, but Cena pulls his hand away and asks why stop when they’re having so much fun?! Cena says take your truces, handshakes, future plans, blah blah blah, crumple them, and stuff them up your Nexus. The future is that Cena takes down Nexus, whether he does it himself, has help, he gets to every single one of them.
Barrett says that the fact that Cena is even capable of standing in the ring is a testament to, basically, how it isn’t about him. Barrett is warning Cena: Shake his hand, or Cena will face some very, very severe consequences. Cena grabs his hand, then starts to get him in an Attitude Adjustment. The Nexus Seven come out, but then dso does Evan Bourne, John Morrison, Mark Henry, Khali, Goldust, Kozlov, Santino, the Hart Dynasty, Yoshi Tatsu… and I think that was all… it got hard to tell. Sorry. Basically, Nexus is then shoved out of the ring, except Darren Young, who got bitch slapped by Mark Henry.
The GM sends an email: I wanted peace, so if things don’t stop now, there will be consequences. Cena puts Young in the STF. The GM sends another email: Cena, because of your actions, you will now face all members of the Nexus next week in a seven-on-one handicapped match. Cena then begins hammering away on Darren Young again. Cena then throws the “steel” ring steps at Darren Young’s head, throws Young over the announce table, and then shoves the announce table over on Young.
Next week, I guess we’ll see more of the Nexus. Until then, seeya around.
Oh crap, it’s Friday night… and you know what that means. Yep, I work my night job and then come home and suffer through Smackdown so you don’t have to. It’s been a weird Friday already, especially in South Africa as Brazil got upset, and Ghana threw away a certain victory in the World Cup. While no one in North America really cares about that stuff, other than Kofi Kingston who hails from Ghana (for now), let’s just jump into the legitimate sport known as professional wrestling… (more…)
Hey everybody! Sorry about the lack of a RAW review last week. I had some computer troubles. But, I have a new laptop now, and I’m back in business. For more frequent updates as to why I’m not doing what I’m supposed to, make sure you follow me on Twitter: @TheMizMagnet. This week, Rob Zombie hosts!! Not only that, but what are the consequences supposed to be for the NXT Rookies attacking Mr. McMahon? What about this new GM? Who the hell is he… or she?!
Last Monday, the NXT Rookies surrounded Referee!Vince in the ring and then violently/brutally, whatever you wanna call it, attacked him, leaving him motionless in the ring as they all stood over him.
We start off RAW with no theme music. We’re told that we know nothing so far about Vince’s condition, but we’ll be updated if anything new is discovered tonight. Also, the NXT Season One Rookies want to be called Nexus, and Wade Barrett is at WWE HQ to plead his case and what not. The new anonymous General Manager says that the Nexus’ actions would be met with the appropriate consequences.
It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man who could wind up dead...
Sheamus comes out to the ring and says that he watched the footage of Nexus beating Vince several times and he has to say he’s disgusted. He’s disgusted about what went down. So, as the WWE Champion, he felt it was his responsibility to make a statement on behalf of the company: the champ is here. Even though the Nexus lads got involved in his match, eveyone knows he would have beaten Cena regardless, and he would have proved he’s worthy of the Championship. He knows it’s unfortunate when it happens, but one important thing came out of it: Cena’s not the #1 Contender for the belt, and why? because he used his rematch clause. It means that he no longer has to look at the tacky orange t-shrits, no longer does he have to listen to the never-give-up slogans, and no longer does he have to listen to the WWE Universe chant “Cena” every week like parrots. No longer does he have to listen to Cena make fun of his beautiful Irish skin by calling him a human jar of mayo. He hates Cena. Cena can get to the back of the queue, like everyone else, because he’s through and he’s never gonna get a shot at Sheamus’ gold ever again.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHABADOO!!!!
Cena makes his way to the ring and just stands there for a couple minutes, grinning and listening to the crowd. Sheamus asks him what he’s doing there, and says that he’s not going to get another shot at him or his belt again. Cena says that he knows and he didn’t come out there for that. He came out here to ask for help. Everybody here saw how Sheamus won the Championship, everyone saw how he kept it. It’s the group calling themselves Nexus. They made a target out of him because he was the WWE Champion, and they’re coming after the human jar of Mayo, Philly’s own giant block of cream cheese, the WWE Champion, Sheamus. Cena says he’s gonna cut to thee chase: They don’t like each other. Sheamus is tough as nails and can fight. Wanna keep the championship? His career? Then help Cena right now. They are going to start off RAW the way they should, for one night only, they fight, side by side, right now because Cena’s calling out Nexus, and they’re gonna start off RAW with a brawl.
However, an email sound comes on and Michael Cole stands up and says that he has an email. He’s like the new AOL guy: Welcome. I’ve got mail! Anyway, the email says, and Cole quotes (though I don’t, because that was a lot to type at once with Cole’s voice giving me a migraine), “I’ll wait until next week to take action agaisnt Nexus. I will allow spokesman Barrett time to present his case to WWE Officials. However, as far as tonight is concerned, if any membner of that group makes any contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated. However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact, they will be suspended.”
Cena thanks the anonymous General Manager. He says that it’s not a total loss, because they’ve learned something about Sheamus. He’s not just pale skin, and he’s a good dude. Honestly, he’s a pretty good guy. Sheamus was thinking to himself that they should have started RAW with a brawl, but, since they can’t, they’re thinking that they should start of RAW with a WWE Championship match!
The email sound comes again and Cole repeats that he has an email. None of us are, apparently, intelligent enough to know what that sound means. This email says that the WWE Championship, Sheamus will be in action tonight, but it’ll be against Mark Henry.
Cena explodes here (metaphorically speaking. Sorry to disappoint some of you). He claims his life is being ruined by the internet, and he hasn’t freaked out this bad since his mom cancelled his Warcraft subscription. He says that the GM should email him directly… at… candypants264@gmail.org. He goes on, but Cole has to tell us he has an email, so I missed it. The email says that in three weeks, there is a new PayPerView called Money in the Bank, where the winner will receive a contract for a WWE Title match that they can cash in at any time. You know, the same stipulations participants get at Wrestlemania. He says that the eight participants for the RAW match will be revealed later tonight, and he would like to demonstrate. Sheamus says the General Manager can demonstrate all he wants, because Shemaus has wasted enough of his time there and he’s out of there. In the ring, the cage starts to lower. The email goes on and says that since last week’s title match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage match.
<COMMERCIAL>
Six Person Tag Match: The Unified Tag Team Champions David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya vs
As the Hart Dynasty comes out to the ring, the Usos come out and lay the Hart Dynasty out. They start to go back up the ramp, but Tamina runs down and throws Natalya in the ring, hitting her with the Superfly Splash.
Backstage, Josh Matthews asks R-Truth what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Truth says that they’re behaving like wild, untamed animals. He says not to fire them because that’s too easy. He tells Josh to leave them there at the WWE Zoo, where he’s the zookeeper. And that’s the Truth.
<COMMERCIAL>
Vladimir Kozlov vs Santino Marella – If Santino wins, then Vladimir will be Santion’s tag partner
Vladimir is already in the ring, and this match is pretty quick as we move through Santino entering the ring. Santino goes for a lot of moves, Kozlov just brushes him off, blah blah blah, Kozlov ends up pinning Santino.
Vladimir Kozlov Wins!
Kozlov seems to be amused as he keeps helping Santino up only for him to fall back down. He starts to head up the ramp when William Regal comes out, shakes Kozlov’s hand, and then runs into the ring and attacks Santino. Kozlov goes back into the ring and attacks Regal. Then, he carries Santino right out of the ring and up the ramp.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Great Khali, asking him what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Khali says something, but Ranjin Singh just says that Khali says that he’s a big, stupid giant and his manager is really tired of protecting him. If Nexus were to come up right now, Khali would run.
<COMMERCIAL>
Tomorrow night, the second season of NXT gets their first votes!!
Tonight’s guest host is a five-time Grammy nominated musician, a screen writer, a producer, and actor, he’s Rob Zombie! He’s also the anniversary guest host, so to speak, for this is one year to the week of the first Guest Host! Rob Zombie says he’s there because he loves sick and twisted things, like the sick and twisted things that go on in the ring, like Money in the Bank. He’s there to announce the Money in the Bank Ladder Match participants for RAW: Randy Orton, The United States Champion, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bounre, Ted DiBiase, John Morrison and… this guy.
Edge shows up on the TitanTron and says that he hasn’t talked to Rob Zombie since he dumped his entrace theme. Rob Zombie says that he wants to set the record straight. He took his song back because he couldnt’ stand to have Edge destroy it. He starts to leave the ring and Edge asks him if that’s it. Did he scare away the horror director, the astro-creep? All that matters is that he won the first ever MitB, and cashed it in on Cena and won his first WWE Championship. Don’t we remember that? Why doesn’t he remind us?
<Video Package: WrestleMania 21, 2005: Edge wins Money in the Bank. 10 Months Later, Revolution 2006: Edge comes out to cash in Money in the Bank & wins WWE Championship against Cena>
Yeah, Edge did that. He did it and he had so much fun doing it, that he did it years later against the Undertaker. That’s what he was talking about last week when he speared Orton and said now the fun begins because Edge owns Money in the Bank. And he’s gonna show everyone just how twisted he can be ’cause you wanna know what happens when a Viper runs into a guy with a 20 foot ladder? The Viper gets his head crushed before he can strike. And Edge is going to do that to every other participant in that match, and at the end of the match, they will all be staring up at him.
The infamous email sound comes up and Cole says that tonight’s main event will feature all eight Money in the Bank participants in an Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match! Edge, The United States Champion, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, and Randy Orton.
Next: Mark Henry v Sheamus
<COMMERCIAL>
WWE Champion Sheamus vs Mark Henry
Mark Henry comes out with his rookie, Lucky Cannon, who goes backstage right after. The match starts with Sheamus gaining control until Henry shoves him. Sheamus and Henry exchange hits (if you wanna call it that), and Sheamus hits Henry with a DDT. He goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out a two. Sheamus drops his knee on Henry’s face, and then hits his chest a few times before going for another cover. Henry kicks out at two again. Sheamus gets Henry in a headlock, but then gets backed into a corner. As usual, Sheamus goes for Henry’s knee and tries to take him down with clotheslines before Henry hits one. Henry hits a splash a minute later, and goes for a cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Henry gets up, and Sheamus hits him with whatever his boot move is called, and then covers Henry for the win.
Sheamus wins!
Josh Matthews is now backstage with Nexus. He asks for their reactions to the General Manager’s ruling. Tarver says it goes both ways. They can be fired for attacking a Superstar, but the Superstars will be suspended if they attack Nexus. Besides, Nexus can still make an impact. To prove this point, Skip Sheffield seems to think it’ll be sufficient to knock out some tech guy who probably pissed his pants as soon as Sheffield looked at him. Darren Young says that’s what they mean, and Nexus laughs.
Still to come, our Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!
<COMMERCIAL>
“Money” by I Fight Dragons is the official Money in the Bank theme!
Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that tomorrow, a new DVD will be out. Before he says who the DVD is about, he wants to show us something.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Life of Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat”>
Ricky Steamboat comes out, and Jerry says that a few more guys in the back want to say something. Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Mike Rotunda, and Micheal P.S. Hays come out to honor his career. They all say some really graet things about Ricky. When Steamboat goes to speak, the Nexus theme hits and they all come out. They surround the ring and then start to take out the legends in the ring one by one until it’s just them and Steamboat in the ring. Steamboat manages to put up a pretty good fight for about thirty seconds before Nexus overpowers him, and we see the same crap we’ve seen for what seems like forever now.
<COMMERCIAL>
Reminder! Nexus just attacked the legends! Another reminder! The Superstars can’t attack Nexus or they’ll be suspended, which is why no one helped the legends! Realization: With Jerry gone, we now have to listen to Michael Cole scream “VINTAGE” and wet himself all night… Joygasm.
<COMMERCIAL>
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse vs Gail Kim and Eve Torres
Lucky for me, if you wanna put it that way, Michael Cole is joined by Josh Matthews. Anyway, Alicia and Eve start, some hits are exchanged, blah blah blah… I got really distracted by whatever Alicia was wearing, so all I know is that eventually, Gail came in and was doing pretty good, but something happened and Alicia hit an axe kick on Gail and won it for her and Maryse.
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox and Maryse win!
Next up is the Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!
<COMMERCIAL>
Reminder! Last week, Nexus attacked Vince! Reminder!! About fifteen to thirty minutes ago, they attacked WWE Hall of Famers! Next week our slacker GM will determine the fate of Nexus.
Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match
The Rated R Superstar Edge, Chris Jericho, The United States Champion The Miz, and Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and Randy Orton
Just because I’m having a moment and I don’t want this to go straight to the commercial thing, I’m going to have some theme song fun!!
You think you know me…
Break the walls down!!
AWESOME! I came to play!
It’s a new day! It’s a new generation!!
What’s up?… What’s up?
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!
*Airplane noises*
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
<COMMERCIAL>
DiBiase and Morrison start it off. DiBiase gets Morrison into the corner and Irish Whips him, but Morrison counters and throws DiBiase down. He gets DiBiase into a headlock and then moves to his corner, tagging in Truth.
Truth slaps DiBiase, who returns it witha punch. Truth then throws DiBiase over the top rope and tags in Bourne, who jumps off the apron and right into DiBiase before throwing him back into the ring. A few hard kicks get DiBiase off his feet. Bourne goes for a cover, but DiBiase kicks out at two and tags in Miz.
Miz gets flipped by Bourne almost immediately, and Bourne goes for a cover only for Miz to kick out at two. He punches Bourne and hits an Irish Whip, only to get hit by a kick to the face. Bourne slams into Miz and goes for the cover again, only for Miz to kick out at two. Bourne throws Miz across the ring and runs at him, only to get Miz’ shoulder in his face. Jericho distracts the ref as DiBiase hits Bourne. Miz tags in Jericho.
Jericho kicks Bounre and then drops him into the bottom rope, hitting a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring next. Edge drops down and hits Bourne while Jericho distracts the ref, and then Jericho goes out to throw Bourne back in. Jericho mocks Bounre before he pulls Bourne to the heel corner and tags Miz back in.
Miz stomps on Bourne a few times before putting his knee in Bourne’s spine. He then plants his knee in Bourne’s spine, lifting Bourne’s head, before slipping into a headlock. Bourne fights out and Miz goes for a suplex, but is kneed to the head by Bourne, who tags Morrison back in.
Morrison hits Miz with two clothesline, then Irish Whips him to a corner, hits a flying chuck, and sets up Starship Pain only for DiBiase to pull Miz out. Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes both out. He goes to throw Miz back in, but Jericho distracts the ref and Edge attacks Morrison.
<COMMERCIAL>
During the break, Jericho rammed Morrison with a ladder and then feigned injury. Jericho and Morrison are still in the ring, but Morrison falls out of the ring after taking some blows from DiBiase. Jericho brings Morrison into the ring, and Morrison manages to cover Chris, who kicks out at two and in turn, covers Morrison. Morrison kicks out at two, and Jericho tags Edge in.
Edge knees Morrison in the gut, and Morrison fights back, hitting Edge a few times. Edge hits a drop toe-hold on Morrison, and holds onto Morrison’s ankle, pulling him back into the heel corner. Morrison starts to fight back, and Edge tags in DiBiase.
DiBiase hammers away on Morrison as soon as he gets in. When Morrison tries to get some momentum, DiBiase hits him with a scoop slam, locking a headlock on Morrison after. DiBiase then tags in Edge.
Edge flings Morrison into the corner, and Morrison kicks Edge only to get a big boot to the face. He goes into a corner and prepares for the Spear, but Morrison gets out of the way. Edge pulls Morrison back, and Morrison manages to hit an insagiri on the back of Edge’s head. Both are down before Edge tags in Jericho, and Morrison tags in Bourne.
Bourne hits a hurricanrana, then a missile dropkick, countering Jericho’s Irish Whip and hitting Jericho with some high kicks. He goes for a cover on Jericho, but Jericho kicks out at two. Bourne goes to the top rope, and Jericho is right behind him, hitting him. Jericho attempts a suplex, but Bourne gets his knee in Jericho’s face and pushes him down. Bourne goes for Air Bourne and misses it, instead hit with the Codebreaker. Jericho ends up having to tag in DiBiase as Bourne tags in Randy. Orton hits the RKO as soon as DiBiase is close enough.
Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and R-Truth win
After the match, Edge runs back into the ring and attacks Randy from behind. He also brings in a ladder. Truth goes in to help or something, but is hit by a ladder as well. John Morrison and Evan Bourne kick the ladder, sending Edge flying backward. Jericho attempts a Codebreaker or something, but Evan knocks him out of the ring. Morrison helps Bourne onto the top rope, where he flies right into Jericho. Meanwhile, Miz takes out Morrison back in the ring with a Skull Crushing Finale. With the ring cleared, he sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, starting a slow climb up it. Before he can grab the briefcase, Randy comes in and pushes it over, sending Miz right into the ropes. Randy then sets the ladder back up, climbing it and taking the briefcase for himself.
Overall Thoughts: Not too bad a show, though I don’t care what Nexus has planned anymore as long as they stay off my screen with it. Seriously, I’d rather watch Mark Henry try to rap again than anything else they have to do.
Hola! Como estas? That’s the extent of my Spanish. Let’s delve into this thing.
Match 1: JTG vs Caylen Croft of Dudebuster fame w/Trent Baretta
I hate JTG’s straight hair. It’s time for him to go back to the braids. Speaking of JTG, has anyone seen Shad Gaspard lately? The Dudebusters suck…plain and simple. They won’t last long. Speaking of not lasting long, has anyone seen Shad Gaspard lately? JTG hits the Shout Out for the victory. He grabs some kiddies and celebrates in the ring with them.
Match 2: Luke Gallows w/ Serena vs Chris Masters
I like Masters, but he will never rise above being a lower mid-card performer. It’s rather unfortunate, because he is better than what most people think. Gallows should be further along than he is. Wrestling at house shows and every so often on Superstars is not indicative of progress. It’s almost time to break up the S.E.S if the only one getting over is CM Punk. He can do what he’s doing on his own. I digress. Luke Gallows gets the win with the Gallows Pole.
Match 3: Jillian vs Brie Bella
I HATE Diva’s wrestling! I will say that the Bella’s are smoking hot though. Nikki and Brie switch places at the end of the match when the referee was distracted. Nikki rolls up Jillian for the win. The official winner of the match is Brie Bella.
Main Event: R-Truth vs William Regal
The WWE really dropped the ball with R-Truth. He held the US Title for about 3 weeks and then drops it and is sent directly to Superstars duty. The guy is super over and super talented, but he just can’t catch a break. Regal should find a tag team partner (Kozlov doesn’t count) and go after the Unified Tag Titles. RTruth gets the win with the Lie Detector.
Alright, I’m up for commenting on the rankings this week. I haven’t done so the last couple of weeks because I’d been posting these without a lot of time to get in depth. Here we go!
1. Rey Mysterio (Last week: 4)
I ranked Mysterio 9th in my vote. Yeah, he won the World Heavyweight Championship at Fatal Four Way, but Kane got involved in the match, so I didn’t really find him winning the title to be an impressive feat. Win a match without outside interference, then we’ll talk.
2. Rob Van Dam (2)
RVD was my number one pick, and he wasn’t on TV this week. The fact that he’s number two overall on this list despite that fact says something about the push he’s gotten in TNA.
3. Sheamus (NR)
For the same reason that I ranked Mysterio number 9, I ranked Sheamus number 10. The NXT rookies destroying all of your opponents and you lucking out to avoid that fate before pinning John Cena, that’s not an impressive victory to me. Add in that you didn’t do anything impressive the next night in RAW, and I’m not sure how you managed third place this week in the Power Poll.
4. Kurt Angle (3)
Without even a mention on iMPACT this week, his win over Kazarian at Slammiversary must have impressed voters enough to allow Angle to stay strong in this week’s poll.
5. John Cena (1)
The former WWE Champion drops four spots this week – and he didn’t even make my personal list. I know John Cena is a big name with a lot of fans, but he didn’t impress me during the voting period. Maybe next week, Cenation.
6. The Miz (NR)
Winning the United States Championship on RAW last week wasn’t enough to put the Miz on the Power Poll, but retaining the title at Fatal Four Way sure did. Add in the fact that he assaulted Randy Orton on RAW, and The Miz made number four on my personal list. He definitely impressed the right people, and hopefully we’re seeing the start of a main event push for The Miz.
7. Abyss (NR)
Abyss turned on Hulk Hogan this week on iMPACT, after destroying Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam. This impressed me enough to place him number two on my personal list, and it sends him into the Power Poll this week.
8. Evan Bourne (NR)
Number 5 on my personal list, a win over Chris Jericho at Fatal Four Way and an impressive showing the following night on RAW sends Bourne flying into the top ten, hitting number 8. (My personal rank: 5)
9. Randy Orton (5)
Orton impressed despite not winning at Fatal Four Way, and his threat to the NXT rookies (before being speared by Edge) seems to have the Power Poll voters still clinging to Orton in their top ten lists. (My personal rank: 8)
10. Kofi Kingston (NR)
He may have been left lying by Drew McIntyre on SmackDown, but he retained his Intercontinental Championship at Fatal Four Way, which is enough to put Kofi Kingston back into the Power Poll. (My personal rank: 7)
Dropped out: Big Show, Jack Swagger, Bryan Danielson, C.M. Punk, Kane
Also receiving votes: Edge, Jack Swagger, C.M. Punk, Big Show, Bryan Danielson, Chris Jericho, Tyler Black, Samoa Joe, Ken Anderson, Jay Lethal, Kane
Participating sites:BoredWrestlingFan.com, Online World of Wrestling, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, WrestleRage.com, Wrestlespective
The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 list ranking men’s singles wrestlers in WWE and TNA voted by wrestling writers. If you are interested becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective(at)gmail.com and include a link to your site.
You know, I don’t think I caught an entire wrestling show at all in the past week, not counting last Monday’s RAW. I had to work Tuesday so I left way before the end of NXT. My band got our new t-shirts in on Thursday, so I missed a chunk of TNA. I was dead tired on Friday, so I slept through most of SmackDown. As for the PPV last night? Same thing.
I probably wouldn’t have ordered Fatal Four Way even if I was awake, but I’ve read the results over a few times and I do know one thing – unless Sheamus makes a huge impact on RAW tonight, neither he or Rey Mysterio will be getting much higher than 9th or 10th when I submit my rankings for this week’s Power Poll. I realize the storylines going on in the main event picture on both shows, but how can you have two World Title matches end in a title change via outside interference in one night? That’s my opinion, anyway, and we’ll find out if other wrestling writers (including our own G) agree with me on that one or not.
CZW wrestler Michael “Trent Acid” Verdi was found dead in his Philadelphia home a few days ago. It’s a very rare occasion that we talk about CZW here, and there’s probably a very good reason for that, but now is not the time for CZW bashing. I’d seen Trent Acid perform several years ago as part of the Backseat Boys tag team along with Johnny Kashmere, and the kid was very talented. It’s always sad to lose a member of our wrestling family, and this is no exception.
Reports are that Batista is set to debut for Strikeforce in the near future. At age 41, we’ll have to wait and see how well his body can withstand the abuse of being an MMA fighter.
Lastly, I want to take the time to thank the hard working staff here at BoredWrestlingFan once again for the time and effort they put in to keeping this place running. From our long running staff members Drowgoddess, JT, Legend Killer, and tharvey1, to our newest members AlyKat and G, we have the best writing team on all of the internet, and I truly believe that. I’ll see you guys in a day or two with this weeks Power Poll rankings, but for now, stay tuned for AlyKat’s RAW review!
