“Impact” Impressions 8/26/10
2 CommentsR.I.P. Luna Vachon. (more…)
R.I.P. Luna Vachon. (more…)
Hello, fellow Bored Wrestling Fans! It’s been a couple of months since I’ve done anything here on the site aside from the weekly Power Polls put on by Jason Mann of WrestlePerspective, so I thought with JT away, I’d jump in this week and ramble on with a rare “ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts” column! And what better week to return than the weekend following TNA’s HardCORE Justice PPV and “Whole F’N Show” free-per-view on Spike?
I actually planned on ordering HardCORE Justice last Sunday, but I woke up around 8:07 and figured it was pointless by then to spend the 30 bucks on the show. I promised myself I wouldn’t read any spoilers before I actually got to watch it, and damn, that would’ve been $30 well spent. Nearly every match had a purpose, settling feuds from back in the original ECW, and the last minute Main Event change to RVD/Sabu was a great move IMO. The only other person on the show that could’ve filled the void left by Jerry Lynn’s absence would have been Rhino, in a storyline sense anyway, but there was so much history between RVD and Sabu that it really was the best choice.
The only BWF stuff I did for RAW was a quick tweet asking folks to use our #BWF hashtag to help AlyKat notice them for her review. I watched the show as a fan, but I knew damn well that it was going to suck in comparison to the PPV I watched the night before. I was right. It’s not that RAW sucked in comparison to other recent RAWs, it’s that it happened to be on during a week where it would have had to outshine some of the best RAWs of all time to even compete with what TNA was putting on. Look, I’m not one of those guys that floods the comment boards on other sites with anti-WWE stuff or pro-TNA stuff. Typically, I’m a WWE supporter no matter what, but TNA just had the better wrestling this week.
I haven’t watched any of NXT Season 2 aside from the one where The Nexus were on. I just don’t care. JT can vote for Kaval all he wants, I’m just bored with the whole NXT deal.
And then there was Thursday. TNA promised us a PPV style show on free TV, and that’s what they delivered. Every match was amazing, and Shannon Moore proved that he can hang with a main eventer in his match with Jeff Hardy, but from a wrestling standpoint you have to give it up for Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns, and from a hardcore standpoint, RVD and Abyss. Initially I missed the Fortune beatdown on EV2.0, but after being told about it Friday night and reading Drow’s statement that it made the initial Nexus attack look like “a junior high play,” I had to go back and watch it. It was absolutely brutal – James Storm was just maiming people left and right with pieces of broken glass! I can’t wait for the aftermath of this, when the EV2.0 guys try for revenge. Extreme Violence? It’s just beginning!
I still haven’t watched SmackDown. I’m not even interested in watching. Initially I considered ordering SummerSlam tonight, but that’s probably out of the question too. There’s nothing that’s captured my attention booked for tonight. The only thing that would possibly make this worth the money is if The Miz cashes in and wins the WWE Championship tonight, and I highly doubt that’s going to happen.
If any of our readers live in Western New York, come on out Friday, August 20th to Chuggers in West Seneca as DTD Entertainment presents the Honoring The Idol 2010 Pre Party featuring my band thinksobrain, whom G so graciously puts over in his SmackDown review every week. Also, don’t forget that Empire State Wrestling returns to the St. Johnsburg Fire Hall in North Tonawanda on Saturday, September 11th. The main event is set to be ESW Tag Team Champions Famous defending against Kevin Grace and Pepper Parks. Also announced for the show is Jonny Puma vs. Ryot, and Ceasar’s Legion members Tommy Mandrake and Superbeast taking on our friends Barry and Brian Hardy. Hope to see you guys around!
This is not a review of this week’s “Impact.” (more…)
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. I’m exhausted, and I feel like crap for some reason. So, I’m going to do the RAW review, include the tweets, but I’m just going to give the basics on the matches, or my opinions. I may do full coverage of the main event, but it depends on how I feel when it gets there, alright?!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Two weeks ago, Team Nexus meets Cena Army, then last week’s Seven-on-Seven Elimination Match, and the cracks in Team Cena/Jericho.>
You think you know me…
Edge comes out. Says stuff. Commercial.
Nah, just kidding.
Edge says he tried, he really did, but last week made him realize he needs to go with his gut, and listen to only himself. Case and point, after the Royal Rumble, he listened to the WWE Universe, and they let him down. Just like the SummerSlam team is letting him down. He doesn’t respect Cena, he doesn’t trust Jericho, he doesn’t have any faith in Khali, he barely knows Truth and Morrison… That’s why he needs to do things his way. He agrees that Nexus needs to get taken down, but he has a proposal: he does things his way. Tonight, he challenges Wade Barrett, one on one. He doesn’t want anyone to interfere.
What’s up?!
Truth makes his way down, not rapping his own theme for once, and Truth says he was gonna ask him the same question: Does Edge actually thing challenging Wade to a match is going to fix anything? It’s bigger than Barrett. Edge gets that, and that’s why he doesn’t want to listen to Cena. Truth says fine, don’t listen to Cena, but he’ll listen to Truth. Edge has been in tons of matches. But how many times has he ever had to fight for everything, everything? Truth, Edge, they’re fighting for their lifestyles, their friends, family, for the WWE Universe. It’s us, we, we gotta do this together and fight this together, or Nexus wins. Simple as that. Edge needs to stop thinking of himself and pull his head out of his ass, and that’s the truth.
Edge says it’s clever, but that’s Truth’s version of the truth. You kill a snake by chopping its head off. Edge takes out Barrett and Nexus crumbles. Is Truth going to get out of the ring, or is Edge going to have to Spear him out?
“If this is what Edge wants, then I will honor his request. Truth, please exit the ring, because he will face Wade Barrett of Nexus, and that match is next.”
Truth says good luck, because Edge is on his own.
<COMMERCIAL>
@IAmJHPunk “YOU GONE SPEAR ME?!” – R-Truth #wwe #raw #bwf
@SadieandCompany And I Quote makes me want to poke my own eardrums with something! #WWE #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar “Izz us! Izz WE!. If NOT. NEXUS WIN.” – Perfect grammar from R-Truth
Edge vs Wade Barrett
I’m seriously addicted to the Nexus theme song… I really am. Anyway, decent match, with Edge getting the advantage early on, and Wade stealing it back at every chance. However, Nexus comes out and Edge takes off into the crowd.
No winner.
Still to come, Mr. Money in the Bank will face the Number One Contender to the WWE Championship tonight in a one-on-one match!
<COMMERCIAL>
@dasharpshooters Maybe Edge should run track for Canada. Boy was moving. #wwe #raw #bwf
@Niki_Sushi Wait, what? Edge was in the ring #SheamusRevisited #RAW #BWF
@JonelleDanger #WWE #RAW #BWF skip sheffield reminds me of a bulldog…an overbuff bulldog.
Backstage, Edge is looking for Cena, and finds him standing there. Edge asks where he was, and Cena shrugs. Cena says that no one wanted to listen to him, so he listened to Edge. No one’s supposed to go down there, so he didn’t. The only way they have a chance against Nexus is seven-on-seven. Edge says good luck, because they’re going to be doing it without Edge. He quits. Jericho is standing next to Cena, smirking. Cena asks if he quits too. Jericho says that Cena doesn’t get it. If anyone needs to quit, it’s Cena. He’s just as much a problem as Nexus. If they have any chance of beating Nexus, it’d be if Cena quit. If Cena doesn’t wanna do it on his own, Jericho will make him do it. Jericho says they should go out tonight and have a match: Loser leaves SummerSlam team for good. Cena says that Nexus is laughing at them and they’re doing the opposite of what they should be doing. Jericho asks yes or no, and Cena says fine, if that’s what he wants.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: SummerSlam 1991 in Madison Square Garden; Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Championship.>
Morrison and Khali are backstage. Morrison says he doesn’t care about last week, but, like in The Magnificent Seven, if the seven don’t stand together, they don’t have a chance. The Great Khali says they were also the seven dwarves. Morrison wishes him luck against DiBiase.
Tarver and Otunga walk up and say they didn’t attack him last week, because they don’t attack people the respect. Otunga says that if he loses to DiBiase tonight, then Cena may replace him, and if he wants to go somewhere he’s respected, then their door is always open.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Ok, got a few chills watching Summerslam rewind: Bret Hart v. Mr. Perfect! Those were the days! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@HitTheRopes @TheRealMorrison: There’s also the 7 evil exes that Scott Pilgrim must face. #wwe
@Niki_Sushi The Great Khali would eat Wade and shit him out to become the new leader of Nexus. Wade better watch out before he’s fish n chips. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog #TheGreatKhaliSays he sees through Nexus’ clever ruse… he’ll only join Nexus if they kick out Heath Slater
Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Natalya vs Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall, and Tamina
Good to see that Natalya finally gets to wrestle, even if it is in this stupid ass match that she’s probably not going to get much action in, but still. Oh, yeah, and I’m amused by how uninterested Tamina looks in her team mates. The Divas all went a little crazy outside the ring, though Natalya preformed very well. Anyway, Alicia attacks from behind for the victory.
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox, Tamina, and Jillian Hall win via pinfall.
Alicia has the mic afterward and says that they’re all witnesses to the greatest reign in Diva’s Champion history. No matter what match, Alicia has beaten all of them. There isn’t a Diva on the whole roster that is comparable to her, because she’s-
And Melina’s theme hits and out she comes!!! Alicia looks like she’s trying to run, but the very Divas she just insulted are blocking her, and Jillian throws her back in the ring. Melina ducks a clothesline with a very Matrix-like move then drops Alicia in the Last Call, screaming ‘I’m back!’
Still to come: John Cena vs Chris Jericho, and the loser will leave the SummerSlam team!
Sheamus is making his way to the ring!!
<COMMERCIAL>
@bethsharae Alicia beat Nattie? Well that was crap. #Raw
@Niki_Sushi Melina can keep doing her splits all around the ring, and we’ll only here the sound of Alicia’s ego splitting in half. #BWF #RAW
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week: Randy Orton defeats Jey Uso, then Jimmy Uso, then Sheamus>
It’s a shame that they lost their head…
WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Goldust
Okay, quick random note: I love Goldust’s tweets. He makes me laugh so damn hard.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus vs. Goldust on ECW last year>
Sheamus wins with his High Cross. Kind of bland match, to be honest, but I do love Gold…
WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall.
Sheamus cuts a promo afterward saying that he’s a two-time WWE Champion who got here all by himself, by hard work, and didn’t have to be a third-generation Superstar like Randy Orton, or win a briefcase like The Miz. Sheamus brings up how he ended Triple H’s career (COUGHdoubtfulCOUGH), and he’s going to do the same to Orton at SummerSlam. These people never give him the credit or respect he deserves, but he doesn’t want or need it. All he needs is the WWE Championship.
<COMMERCIAL>
@dasharpshooters GOLDUST VS SHEAMUS THE FEUD CONTINUES! #wwe #raw #bwf
@dasharpshooters Aw it’s never good when Goldust gets buried, but it had to happen. #wwe #raw #bwf
@TheMizMagnet Never before has the man with the WWE Championship jobbed SO MUCH! #BWF
John Cena vs Chris Jericho: Loser leaves the SummerSlam Team
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AND SHAGGY TOO!!!!!
Kay, couldn’t resist fucking up Cena’s theme again. Personally, a prediction to the match, I think that Nexus will interfere and they’ll both be there. My personal feelings. Anyway, about the match.
Good match between Jericho and Cena, with Jericho getting a good advantage over the Cena for most of the match. Cena starts up when he gets his advantage, going for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, only for Jericho to hit the Codebreaker, but Cena rolled out of the ring. Jericho tried to get him back in, and did, went for a cover, but it took too much time and Cena powered out at two.
<COMMERCIAL>
OMG JERICHO DID THE HOGAN THING AGAIN! I’m okay. After the commercial break, the momentum changed a few times before Jericho steals it, calling Cena a stupid man a few times. Cena seemed to tweak his knee on a move off the top rope, but Cena locks the STF and Jericho taps.
John Cena wins via submission.
Jericho tapped before the STF was locked in, and Cena looks pretty damn confused. Jericho shoves the steps, and Cena has a mic.
Cena asks Chris for just a minute, and Jericho stops. Cena says that the people saw one helluva match against two of the best in the WWE, and says he doesn’t want Jericho to leave. He wants him to stay, because Jericho is the best in the world at what he does. Cena’s not gonna beg though, and says the choice is Jericho’s. Either come back in the ring and they agree to coexist, and they handle Nexus, or Jericho walks out, and he lets everybody down, including himself. Jericho stops, looking around for a minute, but starts toward the ring, stops, shakes his head, and walks back toward the back. He stops at the top of the ramp, then keeps walking toward the back.
Still to come: Randy Orton vs United States Champion The Miz!
<COMMERCIAL>
@TheNexusWWE Ha ha ha … 7-on-5 at SummerSlam … too bad for you @JohnCena! #WWE #SSlam
@IAmJHPunk @IAmJericho (to @JohnCena): “Stay down! You’re a stupid, stupid man! You’re a stupid man!” #wwe #raw #bwf
Edge is backstage, when Jericho comes up to him. Edge says that he doesn’t blame Jericho for what he did. Cena needs them, not the other way around. Edge respects Jericho for what he did. Jericho says he doesn’t need that, and he respects that Edge quit. Cena needs them more than they need him. They were doing just fine before they got involved with Nexus. Edge says they’ve been through a lot together, but together, they could own this place. Maybe the two of them should let bygones be bygones. The two shake hands, give a man-hug, and then…
“After what has transpired tonight, next week Edge and Chris Jericho will team together against their former SummerSlam teammates, John Cena and Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Additionally, all seven members of Nexus will stand at ringside as lumberjacks.”
Josh Matthews is joined by Randy Orton backstage. Josh says that Sheamus was going to do the same thing that he did to Triple H at Wrestlemania. Randy says that he once gave Triple H a six-week vacation due to a kick to the skull. He invites Sheamus to sit ringside for his match against The Miz. The good news for Sheamus is that after the match, Miz will be in no shape to cash in his Money in the Bank contract. The bad news is that in two weeks, it’s Sheamus’ turn.
Up next, the world premiere of Legendary.
<COMMERCIAL>
<VIDEO PACKAGE: World premiere of the Legendary trailer.>
The Great Khali vs. Ted DiBiase
As usual Maryse accompanies Ted to the ring, but he makes her stay out of it. Can’t say I blame him. Anyway, Maryse provided enough of a distraction for Ted to grab the advantage, but Barrett and Sheffield come down to the ring. DiBiase gets distracted, and Khali just squeezes DiBiase’s head.
Khali wins via head squishing?
The United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank makes his way to the ring!
<COMMERCIAL>
@IAmJHPunk Someone take out Khali!!! #wwe #raw #bwf
@IAmJHPunk @TheNexusWWE are wayyyyyyy too good for Khali!!!! #FireKhali #wwe #raw #bwf
@JCenadotcom So… wait… Khali’s winning matches again?
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Bellas hang with the cast of The Other Guys.>
Will Ferrell won some total cool points from me though as he called The Bellas average looking. I officially love him… more than before.
AWESOME!!
The United States Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Miz attempts to cash in Money in the Bank on Sheamus, only to get RKO’d.>
Before Randy comes out, Miz talks. He says that last week, Randy made a mistake. It wasn’t just a lapse in judgment, it was a life-altering moment in the career of Randy Orton. Because now, he doesn’t have a shred of positivity in his future. Tonight, he’ll pay for what he did. At SummerSlam, his best case scenario is that he beats Sheamus for the WWE Championship. But then what? What happens next? Miz’ moment. Do the voices in Randy’s head hear him? Miz’ moment! Randy only delayed the inevitable. Get it straight: Miz will be WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s awesome!
Orton and Miz lock up, and Orton pushes Miz back into the turnbuckle, but neither let go. Miz turns it around and pushes Orton into the turnbuckle, getting a punch in on Orton’s head before beating on Orton for a few minutes. Miz Irish Whips Orton into the opposite turnbuckle, but Orton clotheslines Miz. Orton then stomps on Miz’ chest, and again. Orton then stomps on Miz’ face, and then goes for the knee-drop, but Miz rolls out of the way. Miz gets up and knees Orton in the face. Miz goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Miz gets Orton in the corner, and starts stomping. Miz keeps Orton in the corner for a few minutes before Orton plants a boot in Miz’ face. Orton has Miz’ head under the bottom rope, and then slams his face into it. Orton then tries the knee drop again, hits it, and goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Orton whips Miz across the ring and Miz holds on to the top rope. Orton clotheslines him out, and then Sheamus comes out to stand at the top of the ramp.
<COMMERCIAL>
@ThingsColeSays Will Ferrall buries the Bellas. Good man.
@LadySwagger6 Bellas did way more than “hang out” with Wahlberg & Ferrell
@theerj Hey look it’s da Bella Whores!!! Can’t have an ass kissing Guest host segement without those 2
@dasharpshooters Will Farrell treats his tricks like tricks. #wwe #raw #BOSS #bwf
We come back to Orton owning Miz with Sheamus watching still. Orton has Miz in a headlock, but Miz powers out. Miz then gets revenge with his own boot to the face. Miz stops to catch his breath before stomping on Orton’s stomach and dropping elbows and forearms on Orton’s chest. Miz then drops another boot to Orton’s face, but Orton kicks out. Miz then gets Orton in a headlock and rakes at his face before the ref gets him away. Orton gets to his feet and powers out of the headlock, getting some this in on Miz before Orton drops Miz in a backbreaker. Orton’s knee is still bothering him, apparently. Orton walks over to Miz, but Miz plants him in the turnbuckle. Orton starts to get up, and Miz backs away, preparing to run across the ring. He hits Orton with his swinging corner clothesline, before going for a cover. Orton kicks out at two. Miz then hits Orton in the head and face a few times before the ref gets him off of Orton. Randy then uppercuts Miz out of nowhere. Miz retaliates with a hit to the face that drops Orton. Miz gets Orton by the ears, but Orton starts fighting back with some powerful hits before hitting Miz with some shoulder blocks, followed by a scoop slam. Miz is on the edge of the ring apron, and he pulls Miz in through the top and middle rope. Orton goes to hit his DDT, but Miz flips him over the top rope and onto the floor.
Miz rolls out of the ring and throws Orton into the ring. Miz blocks a clothesline and drops him in a backbreaker onto his knee and then down. Miz goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Sheamus looks unimpressed, and Miz looks stunned that Orton kicked out. Miz goes to clothesline Orton, but Orton comes back with an RKO. He pins Miz and wins.
Randy Orton wins via pinfall.
Sheamus ran down to the ring to attack Randy, but Randy dropped and started pounding the mat, and Sheamus stopped dead in his tracks. The two stare and Randy smirk-snarls at Sheamus.
Overall, not a bad RAW. Seeya next week.
Hot on the heels of Money in the Bank, the main event tonight is a Triple Threat match between Edge, Randy Orton, and Chris Jericho! But will RAW’s Mr. Money in the Bank, The United States Champion, The Miz decide that Sheamus’ WWE Championship is too much for him to ignore? And what about John Cena? How is he going to react after Nexus interfered in his match last night? All these questions will – hopefully – be answered tonight on Monday! Night! RAW! Warning, also, a lot of block paragraphs tonight. Sorry.
@Niki_Sushi So… did anyone see Sheamus last night after the match? No? Me neither. White men can’t jump, but Irish men and RUUUUUUUUUUN. #BWF
Wade is going to fight Mark Henry alone tonight, and Nexus is banned from ringside.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge for a chance to face WWE Champion Sheamus at SummerSlam
Randy started out with a good advantage, hammering both Edge and Jericho away, but then Jericho gets Randy in the corner and hammers away on him, only for Edge to join, and then stand back and watch. Randy fights back into control, however, getting Edge out of the ring before throwing Chris into the turnbuckle. Edge shows his stealthy side by dropping off the apron and slamming Randy’s head into the top rope. Chris beats on Randy for a little bit, then starts yelling at Edge to do the same. Jericho holds Orton while letting Edge hit him, then the two take turns beating on Orton. They both Irish Whip him and then go to double back drop him, but Orton countered with a double DDT. Jericho rolled out of the ring, and Randy went for a cover on Edge. Edge kicked out at two. Afterward, Orton purposefully stomps on Edge and wears him down. Randy goes to hit the RKO on Edge, but Edge counters and Jericho hits the Codebreaker. Jericho went for a cover, but Edge broke it apart. Edge and Jericho roll out to the outside, and we go to commercial as Edge bounces Jericho’s head off the announce table.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KiraSwaggaholic This should be the goddamn MAIN EVENT wtf
We come back to Edge and Jericho still outside the ring, and I don’t actually see Randy. Nevermind, Randy’s inside the ring, and he takes out Chris, throwing him out of the ring and into Edge. Jericho goes to get back in, but Randy goes to pull him through. Edge gets up, but manages to get out as Orton DDT’s Jericho from the rope. Randy goes for a cover, but Edge breaks it and throws Randy out. Edge rushes into the ring to cover Jericho, but Chris kicks out at two. Edge goes back to Randy, throwing him back into the ring and going for a cover. Orton kicks out at two. Edge hits Randy and panders, in Jericho’s words, to the crowd, before proceeding to attack Randy’s face. He goes to run off the ropes, but Jericho pulls him out, and bounces his head off the announce table before attacking Randy. Jericho goes for a pin, using the ropes for leverage, but Randy kicks out at two. Jericho gets Randy in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Randy manages to stand and then powers out, gaining momentum with some clotheslines. A scoop slam into a cover on Jericho, but he kicks out at two. Jericho rolls out the apron, but Randy follows. He goes to set Jericho up for a DDT again, but Edge comes in. Randy gains momentum with a back breaker, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Randy gets Edge up and kicks him out of the ring. Randy sets Jericho up for the DDT off the ropes again, but Jericho counters and sets up the Walls of Jericho, locking them in. Randy pulls to the ropes, only for Jericho to pull him back to the center of the ring. Edge comes in and DDTs Jericho. Edge goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out. Edge goes into the corner, setting up the Spear. Jericho turns, but launches at Edge before he can Spear him, and sets him up into the Walls of Jericho. Edge makes it to the ropes, forcing Jericho to break the hold. Jericho goes to hit it again, but Edge counters into a roll up and Jericho kicks out at two. Orton tries to hit the RKO, but Edge counters and goes for the cover, for Randy to kick out at two. Edge goes to the opposite corner from before, and sets up the Spear. Edge runs for the Spear, but Jericho attacks. Jericho rolls Edge up, Edge kicks out. Edge rolls Randy up, Randy kicks out. Then, all three of them clothesline each other.
Jericho sends Edge out of the ring, and then Randy goes for the RKO, Jericho counters. Jericho goes for Lionsault, Randy moves out of the way. Randy begins pounding on the mat, and then hits the RKO on Jericho, then on Edge. He pins Edge for the victory.
Randy Orton wins via pinfall!
<COMMERCIAL>
Edge has stayed in the ring the entire commercial break, and is demanding that Chris comes back out, saying that ‘this has gone on between us for too long.’ Chris does come back out, asking what Edge’s problem is. Edge asks how many a lot and I missed about three of them. He says that it has to end right here, right now, tonight. Chris grabs a mic, after demanding it. For the first time in eleven years, they agree on something: It’s going to end tonight. Chris is the reason that Nexus has achieved what they have. If Chris just snaps his fingers, Nexus would do whatever he wanted them to. He could call Nexus out here and take years off not only his career, but his life. Edge doesn’t think that Nexus agrees, and they’d take Edge up on his offer first. Looks like Nexus is going to answer, because they’re coming out now.
Wade says they’re both veterans and Nexus would be lucky to call either of them an ally. They’ve had successful, innovative, Hall of Fame careers. But, Jericho was right. Nexus wouldn’t take years off his career, they’d end it. Nexus then attacks Edge, and Jericho’s bouncing around pretty excited. Edge is then Speared by Sheffield. Chris then puts Edge in the Walls of Jericho, with Nexus still surrounding them. Chris seems to realize where he is, because he lets Edge out, staring at Nexus.
Wade says that Edge was also right. They would really like to shut up the guy who’s claiming to be behind Nexus’ success. They surround him, and Chris attacks Barrett, clinging to him as Nexus tries to pull him off. They finally get him off and start wailing away on him. Barrett claims that Jericho didn’t teach him anything. Nexus then lifts Jericho, and Otunga takes him down.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Hey, at least @IAmJericho went down swinging, just like the best in the world should!
Nexus is walking backstage, and they go into the Nexus locker room. Wade is stopped by Josh Matthews, who says that there is no question he has the most powerful group in the WWE. I missed the rest of this part because I was talking to my grandmother. Sorry.
Sheamus comes up to Barrett and says he has a proposal. Wade tells him to step into his office, and Sheamus says he’d rather wait out there. Pansy ass.
John is waiting in the locker room area, and is doing an interview with Michael Cole from ringside. Cena says he didn’t shake Barrett’s hand out of foolish pride and because he thought he could stop Barrett. No one could stop Barrett. Edge and Jericho were decimated, Nexus attacked last night, and Cena can see the writing on the wall. What Cena’s saying is that tonight, he’d like to meet Wade Barrett and Nexus in the ring, because he’s got something to say. King asks why, and Cena says that they’ve cost him everything. They say that you’re either Nexus, or against us. Right now, Cena’s if you can’t beat ‘em… and he walks away.
<COMMERCIAL>
Eve Torres vs. Maryse with Ted DiBiase
Ted returns the favor tonight and accompanies Maryse to the ring. Last night, Maryse actually got in the ring and climbed the ladder. John Morrison pulled her down and put her out of the ring, by the way. Maryse takes off a ring or something and hands it to the ref. Hoshit, Ted is on commentary. Maryse trash talks Eve for a while, but Eve shoves her away. Maryse hits her back with a good slap, and then kicks her into the ropes. Ted says Maryse isn’t a gold digger. Maryse is dominating this match, flinging Eve around however she wants to. However, Eve fights back, getting Maryse down, and going for a pinfall. However, Maryse gets her foot on the rope. The ref never seems to see it. However, and Ted starts yelling at the ref. Eve rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp.
Eve Torres wins via pinfall!
Morrison comes down and attacks Ted, hitting Starship Pain on DiBiase. Sheamus is making his way to… somewhere. I think it’s the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 I’ll admit I enjoy seeing Maryse laying on her back, but…that match could have lasted a few more minutes. Damn, no French kiss! #WWE #RAW
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus comes down to the ring and everyone wonders what it is that he could possibly have to say about or to Nexus?
Sheamus says to let the records show: He’s beaten Cena in tables, fatal four way, and a steel cage match. He beat Cena for the first time and it was called a fluke. A second time? Luck. Now that it’s the third time, and the word is dominance. What now for Cena? He’s in Sheamus’ past. He gets the back of the line and he won’t get another title shot against Sheamus anytime soon. He should have done what Sheamus did earlier tonight. He went and found Barrett, walked up to him, and said he wanted, no, demanded a truce. He explained to Barrett that one year ago, no one had ever heard of Sheamus or Nexus. But now, they’re both the two most powerful entities in the entire WWE. He explained that they don’t have to like each other, they’ll stay out of each other’s business. Barrett agreed, and as of tonight, the truce is in effect. It’s good news for Sheamus, but bad for Orton. The only way Orton can beat Sheamus is Nexus’ interference, but that’s gone now, so Orton doesn’t stand a chance. He’ll suffer the same fate as Cena. He can sit back and watch as Sheamus becomes the longest reigning champion of all time.
AWESOME!
Miz comes down with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Miz congratulates Sheamus on getting rid of the Nexus problem. Now, Sheamus has a bigger problem: A Miz problem. Sheamus doesn’t control the fate of the WWE Championship, Miz does, because he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. He can cash it in anytime he wants for a WWE Championship match. Anytime Sheamus is in that ring, Miz will be watching him. Say Sheamus beats Orton at SummerSlam, but as Sheamus gets his hand raised, Sheamus is hit with an RKO, and Miz will be there. What if Sheamus is interviewed backstage, and Miz beats him and drags him out to the ring, and beats him? Regardless of who’s champion, Miz can wait for the moment that his entire career has been leading to, to Main Event Wrestlemania! Or maybe Miz forgets about all that and cashes it in tonight. Either way, Sheamus can call Miz his celebrity stalker, because every breath he takes, every move he makes, Miz will be watching him, because he’s the Miz, and he’s awesome! Sheamus interrupts, saying he’s the WWE Champion, and Miz is nothing.
You’ve got Mail!
GM: Should The Miz want to cash in the Money in the Bank contract tonight, take a seat at ringside. Sheamus will be in action right now against this man…
You are cleared for takeoff…
WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne
Evan gets early momentum, sending Sheamus right out of the damn ring. And then, commercial.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi ‘Were there any smilie-faces at the end of that e-mail?’ The answer is yes. But Cole’s too stupid to say ‘smiley-face-smiley-face’. #BWF
We come back to Sheamus rolling back out of the ring. Sheamus shoves Evan into the apron, and they both climb back into the ring. Evan gets back with some sharp kicks, and Sheamus Irish Whips Evan, only for Evan to kick him in the face. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus sends Evan into the turnbuckle, and then keeps him in the corner with some kicks and knees. Sheamus wraps Evan around the turnbuckle and pulls on him from the outside, releasing at four. Sheamus climbs back into the ring, keeping Evan down. Sheamus hammers Evan with some forearms before putting him into some weird ass submission move. Evan fights to his feet and then tries to fight back, only to get planted on the mat. Sheamus goes for the cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus pulls Evan up by his hair and shoves him right back down before going back to work on the shoulder of Evan. Evan fights out of it, and hits Sheamus with some hard kicks. Sheamus sends him into the corner and literally slaps him silly, only for Evan to kick the hell out of his head. Sheamus misses a clothesline, and Evan puts his foot in Sheamus’ jaw. Evan goes for a cover on Sheamus, but Sheamus kicks out at two. Sheamus is down, and Evan goes to the top rope. Miz is on the edge of his seat, ready, but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Evan jumps out to the outside, landing right on Sheamus. The ref starts his count. Sheamus gets back in, and Evan’s still being counted on. He gets back up to the apron, and is kicked coming in. Sheamus hits the big boot, and covers Evan for the win.
WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall!
Miz applauds, almost sarcastically, at Sheamus’ victory. Miz then hits Sheamus right in the ribs with the briefcase, followed by a shot to the back. He seems to be considering cashing in, and gets Sheamus up, attempting to go for the Skull Crushing Finale, and hits it, planning Sheamus’ face on the briefcase. Miz cashes it in.
Truth runs out, and Miz climbs out, taking his briefcase back. Truth attacks Miz, as Miz tries to leave. Miz takes the briefcase and leaves. Since the bell never rang, it’s not an official match up, thus he never cashed it in, officially.
<COMMERCIAL>
@BrdWrstlngFn I can only imagine the RAW review if @MikeTheMiz wins the title right here…
–Hey! Don’t mock me!! I’m behaving!! I usually behave!! I keep it… mostly… unbiased… sometimes.
@Niki_Sushi To RAW fans, you are extremely lucky Miz didn’t win the title tonight. There would have been no review, just a Mizfit ranting on Miz. #BWF
–Hey! Nu-uh!!! I… I would have made it a very fair RAW review. DAMN YOU BOTH! … J/K. I love you both.
Miz is backstage, and Josh says that he has to be furious because R-Truth ruined it for him. Miz says that Truth just cost him the WWE Championship. He had Sheamus unconscious. Make no mistake, there will be other opportunities. He has an entire year. So whether it’s tomorrow night, or July 17th, 2011, he will take his rightful place as WWE Champion. Because he’s the Miz, and he’s AWESOME… and pissed.
Sheamus is walking backstage with an icepack over his head, and stops at the Divas, The Bellas, and Gail, who are laughing, demanding to know if they think it’s funny. He continues on, but Randy stops him. He says that it’s too bad what just happened. Having the WWE Championship makes Sheamus a target, and come SummerSlam, whether it’s Sheamus, Miz, or whoever, they will be wearing a giant bull’s eye. Randy won’t hit that bull’s eye with an arrow, spear, or bullet. He’s going to hit the bull’s eye with an RKO.
What’s Cena calling Nexus to the ring for?! We’ll find out later tonight.
<COMMERCIAL>
@IAmJHPunk Fact: Bullets, spears, and arrows hurt more than RKOs. #wwe #raw #bwf
John Morrison is on the cover of Muscle & Fitness!!
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
Honestly, I thought that Santino would be done by now… Seems they’re funny enough to keep around. Sucks that Zack is here instead of… wherever he used to be… Nevermind, he’s fine here. Anyway, Santino and Ryder start off, and I miss Ryder’s one-legged trunks. Santino’s pulling some Diva-esque moves here, and Ryder seems confused. Santino tags in Kozlov, and Ryder tags in Regal. Kozlov gets the advantage over Regal and tags in Santino, who’s almost immediately beaten up by Regal. Regal covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Regal tags in Ryder, who does something and then covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Ryder gets Santino in a headlock. Ryder keeps the advantage, going for something off the turnbuckle, but Santino moved. Santino kicks Ryder away from him and tags in Kozlov, who throws Ryder around the ring like he’s nothing. Kozlov goes for a cover, but Regal comes in, and Kozlov is up. Regal rolls out, Kozlov plants Ryder, and Kozlov tags in Santino, who does something, and then goes for the cover, and wins.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall!
Santino celebrates, and Kozlov actually manages to smile, though he doesn’t seem quite as excited as Santino. Nexus is all together in the back, talking before the Barrett v Henry match up. Remember, Nexus can’t be ringside.
<COMMERCIAL>
Wade Barrett vs. Mark Henry
I’m actually wondering what kind of a match this is gonna be… I think Mark Henry just got lucky for Money in the Bank, to be honest, but we’ll see… Hey!!! Maybe Mark will actually split Wade’s weave! … Oh, right… white Englishman. No weave… my bad.
Henry goes for Wade, but Wade climbs out of the ring. He climbs back in, and then goes to attack, Mark, but Mark head butts him right down, and Wade rolls out. The ref starts the count, and Wade climbs back in. They lock up again, and Wade hits Mark with a knee to the gut. A few good hits seem to be pissing Mark off. Each hit looks like it’s making Mark madder, until Mark just punches Wade in the head, and bounces his head off the turnbuckle. Wade’s down after a big clothesline by Mark Henry. Henry goes for a cover, but Barrett kicks out. Henry gets Barrett up and then head butts him. Wade gets up, head butts him back, and takes the lead. He focuses his attack on Henry’s knee, but is taken down with a scoop slam. Henry goes for the cover, but Barrett kicks out at two. Barrett is dragged over to the corner, and Henry gets up, but is distracted as Nexus comes down on the stage. They’re not ringside, so it doesn’t count. Barrett manages to lift Henry, but literally falls, selling it pretty well, for what it was, and covers Henry for the win.
Wade Barrett wins via pinfall!
After the match, Wade Barrett shoves Henry out of the ring. Lifting him seems to have done its damage to his back, because Barrett’s holding it. Barrett gets a mic, and calls out Cena.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Wade Barret’s gonna regret that when he shits his spine out later tonight.
Nexus is still in the ring, and I swear it looks like Slater has girl legs, and Young’s hair is actually down, instead of straight the hell up. Not bad, actually.
Tarver says that they already made one truce tonight, and they give them his word that they will at least hear him out… If he acknowledges that the Nexus run this show. If he understands that if he continues with this resistance, then they will make his life miserable for the rest of John’s “little” career. This furthers @ThinkSoJoe’s theory of Daniel Bryan running RAW, but whatever. If Cena apologizes for attacking Tarver and Young, then they may consider ending it. But it’s all on Cena.
BRRRRRRRRRRRR YABBA DABBA DOO!!
Nexus is lined up, all nice and neat, and Cena doesn’t even get in the ring yet. He thanks them for meeting him out there. He gets in the ring and says that since Nexus arrived, he’s had two WWE Championship matches. The first, they cost him the Championship, and the second they prevented him from winning it back. Tonight, Sheamus made a truce with them, something he should have done a long time ago. He apologizes, and asks them for a truce as well. Barrett says no. He’s not interested in a truce, or an olive branch. He’s not looking for peace. He wants Cena to join Nexus. Think about it, everything he’s achieved on his own, he can achieve ten times that by joining Nexus. Face facts: Nexus is the present and the future of the WWE, and together they’re gonna be unstoppable. To be perfectly honest, this isn’t really much of a choice. He’s either Nexus, or ‘against us’. Does John wanna make history together by joining?
Cena says he can’t do it. Wade says that’s unfortunate, and it leaves Nexus with a different proposition. Either Cena can leave the ring with his tail between his legs and show the world what a coward he really is, or he can stand in the ring and Nexus will give him the most vicious beating Nexus has ever administered. Cena climbs out of the ring and walks up the ramp. He stops at the stage and says he wants to say one more thing, something he’s said time and time again. Whether he does it himself, or has help, he will take each and every one of them down. He’s walking back toward the ring. Tonight’s little peace offering was a test. They sealed their fate, because Cena has help. Ever since Nexus came and started beating people up, Cena’s been forming a team. A team that will take down Nexus at SummerSlam. They said they wanted him to join the Nexus, to make history. Tonight, Cena wants them to meet his team and realize that at SummerSlam, Nexus is history.
Cena’s Team: Edge. John Morrison. R-Truth. Khali. Chris Jericho. Bret Hart.
Cena’s Army, as Cole called them, stormed the ring, and Nexus ran.
My thoughts: Well, the Cena vs. Nexus thing is going to be interesting at SummerSlam. I like Cena, Edge, Morrison, Truth, and Jericho, but Khali? I don’t remember Khali being intimidating lately, at all. And as for Bret Hart… it could be really interesting, but it could be a complete screw up at the same time. Guess we’ll just have t see how it plays off.
Hey everybody! Sorry about the lack of a RAW review last week. I had some computer troubles. But, I have a new laptop now, and I’m back in business. For more frequent updates as to why I’m not doing what I’m supposed to, make sure you follow me on Twitter: @TheMizMagnet. This week, Rob Zombie hosts!! Not only that, but what are the consequences supposed to be for the NXT Rookies attacking Mr. McMahon? What about this new GM? Who the hell is he… or she?!
Last Monday, the NXT Rookies surrounded Referee!Vince in the ring and then violently/brutally, whatever you wanna call it, attacked him, leaving him motionless in the ring as they all stood over him.
We start off RAW with no theme music. We’re told that we know nothing so far about Vince’s condition, but we’ll be updated if anything new is discovered tonight. Also, the NXT Season One Rookies want to be called Nexus, and Wade Barrett is at WWE HQ to plead his case and what not. The new anonymous General Manager says that the Nexus’ actions would be met with the appropriate consequences.
It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man who could wind up dead...
Sheamus comes out to the ring and says that he watched the footage of Nexus beating Vince several times and he has to say he’s disgusted. He’s disgusted about what went down. So, as the WWE Champion, he felt it was his responsibility to make a statement on behalf of the company: the champ is here. Even though the Nexus lads got involved in his match, eveyone knows he would have beaten Cena regardless, and he would have proved he’s worthy of the Championship. He knows it’s unfortunate when it happens, but one important thing came out of it: Cena’s not the #1 Contender for the belt, and why? because he used his rematch clause. It means that he no longer has to look at the tacky orange t-shrits, no longer does he have to listen to the never-give-up slogans, and no longer does he have to listen to the WWE Universe chant “Cena” every week like parrots. No longer does he have to listen to Cena make fun of his beautiful Irish skin by calling him a human jar of mayo. He hates Cena. Cena can get to the back of the queue, like everyone else, because he’s through and he’s never gonna get a shot at Sheamus’ gold ever again.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHABADOO!!!!
Cena makes his way to the ring and just stands there for a couple minutes, grinning and listening to the crowd. Sheamus asks him what he’s doing there, and says that he’s not going to get another shot at him or his belt again. Cena says that he knows and he didn’t come out there for that. He came out here to ask for help. Everybody here saw how Sheamus won the Championship, everyone saw how he kept it. It’s the group calling themselves Nexus. They made a target out of him because he was the WWE Champion, and they’re coming after the human jar of Mayo, Philly’s own giant block of cream cheese, the WWE Champion, Sheamus. Cena says he’s gonna cut to thee chase: They don’t like each other. Sheamus is tough as nails and can fight. Wanna keep the championship? His career? Then help Cena right now. They are going to start off RAW the way they should, for one night only, they fight, side by side, right now because Cena’s calling out Nexus, and they’re gonna start off RAW with a brawl.
However, an email sound comes on and Michael Cole stands up and says that he has an email. He’s like the new AOL guy: Welcome. I’ve got mail! Anyway, the email says, and Cole quotes (though I don’t, because that was a lot to type at once with Cole’s voice giving me a migraine), “I’ll wait until next week to take action agaisnt Nexus. I will allow spokesman Barrett time to present his case to WWE Officials. However, as far as tonight is concerned, if any membner of that group makes any contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated. However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact, they will be suspended.”
Cena thanks the anonymous General Manager. He says that it’s not a total loss, because they’ve learned something about Sheamus. He’s not just pale skin, and he’s a good dude. Honestly, he’s a pretty good guy. Sheamus was thinking to himself that they should have started RAW with a brawl, but, since they can’t, they’re thinking that they should start of RAW with a WWE Championship match!
The email sound comes again and Cole repeats that he has an email. None of us are, apparently, intelligent enough to know what that sound means. This email says that the WWE Championship, Sheamus will be in action tonight, but it’ll be against Mark Henry.
Cena explodes here (metaphorically speaking. Sorry to disappoint some of you). He claims his life is being ruined by the internet, and he hasn’t freaked out this bad since his mom cancelled his Warcraft subscription. He says that the GM should email him directly… at… candypants264@gmail.org. He goes on, but Cole has to tell us he has an email, so I missed it. The email says that in three weeks, there is a new PayPerView called Money in the Bank, where the winner will receive a contract for a WWE Title match that they can cash in at any time. You know, the same stipulations participants get at Wrestlemania. He says that the eight participants for the RAW match will be revealed later tonight, and he would like to demonstrate. Sheamus says the General Manager can demonstrate all he wants, because Shemaus has wasted enough of his time there and he’s out of there. In the ring, the cage starts to lower. The email goes on and says that since last week’s title match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage match.
<COMMERCIAL>
Six Person Tag Match: The Unified Tag Team Champions David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya vs
As the Hart Dynasty comes out to the ring, the Usos come out and lay the Hart Dynasty out. They start to go back up the ramp, but Tamina runs down and throws Natalya in the ring, hitting her with the Superfly Splash.
Backstage, Josh Matthews asks R-Truth what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Truth says that they’re behaving like wild, untamed animals. He says not to fire them because that’s too easy. He tells Josh to leave them there at the WWE Zoo, where he’s the zookeeper. And that’s the Truth.
<COMMERCIAL>
Vladimir Kozlov vs Santino Marella – If Santino wins, then Vladimir will be Santion’s tag partner
Vladimir is already in the ring, and this match is pretty quick as we move through Santino entering the ring. Santino goes for a lot of moves, Kozlov just brushes him off, blah blah blah, Kozlov ends up pinning Santino.
Vladimir Kozlov Wins!
Kozlov seems to be amused as he keeps helping Santino up only for him to fall back down. He starts to head up the ramp when William Regal comes out, shakes Kozlov’s hand, and then runs into the ring and attacks Santino. Kozlov goes back into the ring and attacks Regal. Then, he carries Santino right out of the ring and up the ramp.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Great Khali, asking him what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Khali says something, but Ranjin Singh just says that Khali says that he’s a big, stupid giant and his manager is really tired of protecting him. If Nexus were to come up right now, Khali would run.
<COMMERCIAL>
Tomorrow night, the second season of NXT gets their first votes!!
Tonight’s guest host is a five-time Grammy nominated musician, a screen writer, a producer, and actor, he’s Rob Zombie! He’s also the anniversary guest host, so to speak, for this is one year to the week of the first Guest Host! Rob Zombie says he’s there because he loves sick and twisted things, like the sick and twisted things that go on in the ring, like Money in the Bank. He’s there to announce the Money in the Bank Ladder Match participants for RAW: Randy Orton, The United States Champion, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bounre, Ted DiBiase, John Morrison and… this guy.
Edge shows up on the TitanTron and says that he hasn’t talked to Rob Zombie since he dumped his entrace theme. Rob Zombie says that he wants to set the record straight. He took his song back because he couldnt’ stand to have Edge destroy it. He starts to leave the ring and Edge asks him if that’s it. Did he scare away the horror director, the astro-creep? All that matters is that he won the first ever MitB, and cashed it in on Cena and won his first WWE Championship. Don’t we remember that? Why doesn’t he remind us?
<Video Package: WrestleMania 21, 2005: Edge wins Money in the Bank. 10 Months Later, Revolution 2006: Edge comes out to cash in Money in the Bank & wins WWE Championship against Cena>
Yeah, Edge did that. He did it and he had so much fun doing it, that he did it years later against the Undertaker. That’s what he was talking about last week when he speared Orton and said now the fun begins because Edge owns Money in the Bank. And he’s gonna show everyone just how twisted he can be ’cause you wanna know what happens when a Viper runs into a guy with a 20 foot ladder? The Viper gets his head crushed before he can strike. And Edge is going to do that to every other participant in that match, and at the end of the match, they will all be staring up at him.
The infamous email sound comes up and Cole says that tonight’s main event will feature all eight Money in the Bank participants in an Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match! Edge, The United States Champion, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, and Randy Orton.
Next: Mark Henry v Sheamus
<COMMERCIAL>
WWE Champion Sheamus vs Mark Henry
Mark Henry comes out with his rookie, Lucky Cannon, who goes backstage right after. The match starts with Sheamus gaining control until Henry shoves him. Sheamus and Henry exchange hits (if you wanna call it that), and Sheamus hits Henry with a DDT. He goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out a two. Sheamus drops his knee on Henry’s face, and then hits his chest a few times before going for another cover. Henry kicks out at two again. Sheamus gets Henry in a headlock, but then gets backed into a corner. As usual, Sheamus goes for Henry’s knee and tries to take him down with clotheslines before Henry hits one. Henry hits a splash a minute later, and goes for a cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Henry gets up, and Sheamus hits him with whatever his boot move is called, and then covers Henry for the win.
Sheamus wins!
Josh Matthews is now backstage with Nexus. He asks for their reactions to the General Manager’s ruling. Tarver says it goes both ways. They can be fired for attacking a Superstar, but the Superstars will be suspended if they attack Nexus. Besides, Nexus can still make an impact. To prove this point, Skip Sheffield seems to think it’ll be sufficient to knock out some tech guy who probably pissed his pants as soon as Sheffield looked at him. Darren Young says that’s what they mean, and Nexus laughs.
Still to come, our Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!
<COMMERCIAL>
“Money” by I Fight Dragons is the official Money in the Bank theme!
Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that tomorrow, a new DVD will be out. Before he says who the DVD is about, he wants to show us something.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Life of Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat”>
Ricky Steamboat comes out, and Jerry says that a few more guys in the back want to say something. Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Mike Rotunda, and Micheal P.S. Hays come out to honor his career. They all say some really graet things about Ricky. When Steamboat goes to speak, the Nexus theme hits and they all come out. They surround the ring and then start to take out the legends in the ring one by one until it’s just them and Steamboat in the ring. Steamboat manages to put up a pretty good fight for about thirty seconds before Nexus overpowers him, and we see the same crap we’ve seen for what seems like forever now.
<COMMERCIAL>
Reminder! Nexus just attacked the legends! Another reminder! The Superstars can’t attack Nexus or they’ll be suspended, which is why no one helped the legends! Realization: With Jerry gone, we now have to listen to Michael Cole scream “VINTAGE” and wet himself all night… Joygasm.
<COMMERCIAL>
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse vs Gail Kim and Eve Torres
Lucky for me, if you wanna put it that way, Michael Cole is joined by Josh Matthews. Anyway, Alicia and Eve start, some hits are exchanged, blah blah blah… I got really distracted by whatever Alicia was wearing, so all I know is that eventually, Gail came in and was doing pretty good, but something happened and Alicia hit an axe kick on Gail and won it for her and Maryse.
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox and Maryse win!
Next up is the Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!
<COMMERCIAL>
Reminder! Last week, Nexus attacked Vince! Reminder!! About fifteen to thirty minutes ago, they attacked WWE Hall of Famers! Next week our slacker GM will determine the fate of Nexus.
Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match
The Rated R Superstar Edge, Chris Jericho, The United States Champion The Miz, and Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and Randy Orton
Just because I’m having a moment and I don’t want this to go straight to the commercial thing, I’m going to have some theme song fun!!
You think you know me…
Break the walls down!!
AWESOME! I came to play!
It’s a new day! It’s a new generation!!
What’s up?… What’s up?
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!
*Airplane noises*
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
<COMMERCIAL>
DiBiase and Morrison start it off. DiBiase gets Morrison into the corner and Irish Whips him, but Morrison counters and throws DiBiase down. He gets DiBiase into a headlock and then moves to his corner, tagging in Truth.
Truth slaps DiBiase, who returns it witha punch. Truth then throws DiBiase over the top rope and tags in Bourne, who jumps off the apron and right into DiBiase before throwing him back into the ring. A few hard kicks get DiBiase off his feet. Bourne goes for a cover, but DiBiase kicks out at two and tags in Miz.
Miz gets flipped by Bourne almost immediately, and Bourne goes for a cover only for Miz to kick out at two. He punches Bourne and hits an Irish Whip, only to get hit by a kick to the face. Bourne slams into Miz and goes for the cover again, only for Miz to kick out at two. Bourne throws Miz across the ring and runs at him, only to get Miz’ shoulder in his face. Jericho distracts the ref as DiBiase hits Bourne. Miz tags in Jericho.
Jericho kicks Bounre and then drops him into the bottom rope, hitting a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring next. Edge drops down and hits Bourne while Jericho distracts the ref, and then Jericho goes out to throw Bourne back in. Jericho mocks Bounre before he pulls Bourne to the heel corner and tags Miz back in.
Miz stomps on Bourne a few times before putting his knee in Bourne’s spine. He then plants his knee in Bourne’s spine, lifting Bourne’s head, before slipping into a headlock. Bourne fights out and Miz goes for a suplex, but is kneed to the head by Bourne, who tags Morrison back in.
Morrison hits Miz with two clothesline, then Irish Whips him to a corner, hits a flying chuck, and sets up Starship Pain only for DiBiase to pull Miz out. Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes both out. He goes to throw Miz back in, but Jericho distracts the ref and Edge attacks Morrison.
<COMMERCIAL>
During the break, Jericho rammed Morrison with a ladder and then feigned injury. Jericho and Morrison are still in the ring, but Morrison falls out of the ring after taking some blows from DiBiase. Jericho brings Morrison into the ring, and Morrison manages to cover Chris, who kicks out at two and in turn, covers Morrison. Morrison kicks out at two, and Jericho tags Edge in.
Edge knees Morrison in the gut, and Morrison fights back, hitting Edge a few times. Edge hits a drop toe-hold on Morrison, and holds onto Morrison’s ankle, pulling him back into the heel corner. Morrison starts to fight back, and Edge tags in DiBiase.
DiBiase hammers away on Morrison as soon as he gets in. When Morrison tries to get some momentum, DiBiase hits him with a scoop slam, locking a headlock on Morrison after. DiBiase then tags in Edge.
Edge flings Morrison into the corner, and Morrison kicks Edge only to get a big boot to the face. He goes into a corner and prepares for the Spear, but Morrison gets out of the way. Edge pulls Morrison back, and Morrison manages to hit an insagiri on the back of Edge’s head. Both are down before Edge tags in Jericho, and Morrison tags in Bourne.
Bourne hits a hurricanrana, then a missile dropkick, countering Jericho’s Irish Whip and hitting Jericho with some high kicks. He goes for a cover on Jericho, but Jericho kicks out at two. Bourne goes to the top rope, and Jericho is right behind him, hitting him. Jericho attempts a suplex, but Bourne gets his knee in Jericho’s face and pushes him down. Bourne goes for Air Bourne and misses it, instead hit with the Codebreaker. Jericho ends up having to tag in DiBiase as Bourne tags in Randy. Orton hits the RKO as soon as DiBiase is close enough.
Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and R-Truth win
After the match, Edge runs back into the ring and attacks Randy from behind. He also brings in a ladder. Truth goes in to help or something, but is hit by a ladder as well. John Morrison and Evan Bourne kick the ladder, sending Edge flying backward. Jericho attempts a Codebreaker or something, but Evan knocks him out of the ring. Morrison helps Bourne onto the top rope, where he flies right into Jericho. Meanwhile, Miz takes out Morrison back in the ring with a Skull Crushing Finale. With the ring cleared, he sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, starting a slow climb up it. Before he can grab the briefcase, Randy comes in and pushes it over, sending Miz right into the ropes. Randy then sets the ladder back up, climbing it and taking the briefcase for himself.
Overall Thoughts: Not too bad a show, though I don’t care what Nexus has planned anymore as long as they stay off my screen with it. Seriously, I’d rather watch Mark Henry try to rap again than anything else they have to do.
Greetings, all!
Your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess is covering this week’s “Smackdown,” as our fearless leader, ThinkSoJoE, was actually in attendance. This review should have gone up yesterday, but due to completely unexpected personal matters of the happy persuasion, you’re getting it now. With a smile. 🙂
Yours truly went out to Empire State Wrestling’s “WrestleBash” event in Lockport, NY earlier tonight with one thing on my mind — I’m going to get Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s autograph. That didn’t happen.
Hey, everybody. This week’s episode of Superstars was fairly entertaining. It at least furthered some storylines.
Match 1: Carlito vs Primo
Throughout the match, Carlito looked really apprehensive about apply any offense to his brother. The end of the match saw Carlito grab a mic and tell Primo to quit wasting his career and rejoin with him. Now the Colon’s are back together as a tag team contender and this match has no ending.
Match 2: Chavo Guerrero vs Chris Masters
This was the typical Superstars match-up that we normally get. Two guys that have no real direction and are thus thrown into a random match. Masters gets the win with the Masterlock after countering the Three Amigos.
Backstage Segment:
Michelle McCool and Layla walk into Kelly Kelly’s locker room and tell her she stinks, then try to hold her down for Vickie Guerrero to spray her with deodorant. Beth Phoenix and Tiffany walk in and break it up.
Main Event: Shad Gaspard vs JTG
This match was a good Superstars main event because it was a rematch from the Extreme Rules PPV. Shad gets the win with the STO after blocking a Shout Out. This fued is dying out now, especially considering they put it on Superstars. We shall have to wait and see where these two go after this.
That’s it for this week. Check back in again next week for another Superstars.
Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I haven’t reviewed a WWE show in weeks. Hell, I didn’t review anything at all for the past couple of weeks. I’ve just been burnt out, guys, and for that I apologize. In any event, I’m here now, parked in front of the TV and ready for SmackDown – so let’s go!