Hey, BoredWrestlingFans! Last week I said I’d next see you all on Christmas (or thereabouts), but that was before ‘WWE Week on USA’ was announced, including a live SmackDown! being broadcast on Tuesday night. The greatest thing about this live SmackDown! will be the lack of that canned cheering sound which the guys in the production truck love piping in to the taped shows to try and enhance crowd reactions. D’you know the sound I mean? It’s hard to describe… Anyway, I’m babbling.
So, without further ado, let’s get down to business! (more…)
Hello everyone! Sorry this is up late, but I had a headache last night, and my throat hurt… Not that I need to tell you wall that. Anyway! Make sure to check out this link: http://boredwrestlingfan.com/2010/12/14/raw-tweeter-year-contest/ and vote for who you think deserves to be RAW Tweeter of the Year!! You have until December 31st to cast your votes. Now, if your name isn’t there, don’t be upset. These are just the people who I mentioned repeatedly in the review because of their tweets. Use the #BWF hash tag (just like that) on Twitter and maybe you can get mentioned! We’ll see what happens for next year, but let’s finish up this year first.
Anyway, last night was Tables, Ladders, and Chairs! Who walked out victorious with the WWE Championship? Did John Cena defeat Nexus leader Wade Barrett? Did I eat those cookies…? I didn’t eat the cookies. I remember now.
AWESOME!
We start out with WWE Champion The Miz coming out all by his lonesome! Where’s Alex Riley?! And no Michael Cole?! Thank God!! RAW’s starting out amazing!!
Miz says that he is STILL the WWE Champion. We better get used to hearing ‘and still WWE Champion, The Miz’. Doesn’t it have a nice ring to it? He knows it’s tough for everyone to digest. They were all expecting an announcement of “the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton”, but that didn’t happen, now did it? The Miz beat Randy Orton, put him through a table and now… Miz is interrupted by some ghostly music and Alex Riley comes out.
Riley says that he is the Ghost of Christmas Past. He’s here to show Miz the error of his ways before it is too late. Behold, his first ever WWE Title Defense, which was, of course, against Jerry “The King” Lawler, three weeks ago. Miz says the error of his ways? He’s actually proud of what he did. He beat a WWE Hall of Famer and made sure that he will never be WWE Champion. He doesn’t regret that moment, and he doesn’t regret any actions he’s ever done in the past. He starts to go on, but is interrupted again by Cole, dressed up as the Ghost of Christmas Present.
Cole says “And I Quote…” Miz needs to change. His actions from last night, in the tables match vs. Randy Orton were, although vintage, unacceptable. He retained his championship through nefarious means, and he should be ashamed. Miz says no, that’s where Cole’s wrong. The actions of a true champion are defined by one sentence and one sentence only: Are they still WWE Champion after the match? And yes, he was. That is all that matters. Randy Orton underestimated Miz, and Miz beat him. So, here’s an image to put on your Christmas cards: Happy Holidays from The Miz!
Miz is interrupted again, but this time by a still image of Angry Miz girl, who tells Miz that she is the Ghost of Christmas Future, and she is very angry.
Miz needs to see the light and change his ways, or the new Number One Contender, John Morrison, will beat him. Miz says that he is the future. He is the face of this company, the most must-see champion in WWE history. Charles Dickens himself couldn’t write a better story, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…
John Morrison makes his way out, and ruins CM Punk’s night. He says he’s surprised. That was really stupid, even for Miz. But, Morrison’s actually happy for his success, because last night, he beat Sheamus. He climbed a ladder, grabbed a contract, and he’s the new Number One Contender. That means that sometime soon, they will fight for that title. And Morrison has news for Miz: He’s beat him in the past, in the present, and he knows he can beat him in the future. And when he does, he will become the new WWE Champion. Miz asks really? And has kind of a really-off with the audience. Miz says he’s always been better than Morrison, and Morrison couldn’t… Before Miz can continue, Riley jumps in front of him, between Miz and Morrison, and shoves Morrison. Miz exits the ring and Morrison goes after Riley. While he’s pummeling away on Riley, King Sheamus runs down the ramp and decides he’s going to join in the fun! He attacks Morrison, but misses, and Morrison unloads on Sheamus. Riley gets out of the ring as Sheamus attacks Morrison’s injured leg. Riley moved over to King, for some reason, and King punches him right in the face. Miz walks up the ramp.
And I Quote: “Miz, tonight, you will collide with your ghosts from the past, present, and future, in a six-man tag team match. You, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus vs. John Morrison, Jerry Lawler, and Randy Orton.”
Miz is up on the stage now, holding up his championship and yelling about how he’s the champion, when he turns to go backstage, and Randy comes out. Orton clotheslines Miz to the ground,
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last night, John Cena pulls, as we now know, 23 chairs down on top of Wade Barrett.>
Coming up later, John Cena will address the WWE Universe.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Miz, you need to change and fall in love with me so we can get married and have butt-babies. #WhatColeIsSaying #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog When was the last time John Morrison showered?
@kellylynndobson Backwards Bizarro set!!! This is not good. #RAW #BWF
@FrankWWEClown Did someone put drugs into my dinner tonight? Or am I really witnessing what I am watching on #RAW right now? #WWE
@Lunna1969 My 8 year old Niece just groaned and said that she wished CM Punk would read the GM messages! #RAW #WWE #BWF
Later on tonight, the WWE Champion The Miz, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus will face off against the team of John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Jerry “The King” Lawler. The Diva’s Champion, Natalya joins Punk, King, and Cole ringside.
Melina vs Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres to determine the Number One Contender for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Natalya says that she’s feeling quite dreamy sitting next to King, and then ends up telling him to settle his tea kettle.
The match starts out, and Alicia Fox goes to town on both Eve Torres and Melina. She switches back and forth between Eve and Melina for a while, throwing Eve out of the ring and concentrating on Melina. Melina starts to fight back against Alicia, and then fends off Eve too. All of them go for quick pins on one another, but none of them get further than two. Then Melina gets Eve on the top turnbuckle. Alicia grabs Melina onto her shoulders and holds her there, and then Eve goes to hit a flying cross body on the both of them, but Melina ducks under it, bringing Alicia with her, for a quick pin.
Melina wins via pinfall.
Natalya says it was impressive, and goes to congratulate her. Punk tells her to waffle Melina upside the head, and Natalya ignores him. She gets in the ring and goes to shake Melina’s hand, but Melina slaps the taste out of Natalya’s mouth and then walks out, her serious face on.
Nikki and Brie are arguing over Daniel Bryan, over which one is going to win his affections or something. I have no idea, but it’s nasty. Anyway, up next, Daniel Bryan has a match!
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog “These Divas are so hot.” CM Punk channeling Jerry Lawler circa 1999?
@HitTheRopes Why isn’t Gail Kim involved in this match?
@JonHexLives CM Punk: Small package. There’s a joke in there somewhere. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Oh shit! Melina heel turn! Follow her lead Heel Nikki! Follow her lead!
@Niki_Sushi As sick as I am of Melina being the only one getting title shots, it’s better than the Bellas getting a shot. #BWF #RAW
@kellylynndobson What did the five fingers say to the face……. SLAP! #BWF
It’s WWE week on USA! Tonight, technically, Smackdown will be live on USA at 9/8 Central, and WWE Tribute to the Troops is on Wednesday night! Also, Nexus probably won’t be here tonight. Crying shame, that.
United States Daniel Bryan with the Bella Twins vs. William Regal
I marked out when I saw that his opponent was Regal. I adore Regal.
Regal and Bryan lock up as Punk, King, and Cole try to figure out why Regal’s smiling. Regal automatically throws Bryan to the ground, but Bryan jumps back on his feet and throws Regal down instead. Regal bounces back up to his feet, and then shakes his finger at Bryan, which makes me laugh. Regal drops Bryan to the ground, holding onto his arm, and then when Bryan gets up, Regal’s not letting go. Bryan rolls over to get his arm untwisted, and then goes into this bridge thing for no reason, and then hits a dropkick on Regal. They lock up again, and Bryan twists Regal’s arm this time. Regal gets loose and proceeds to kick Bryan’s spine with the toe of his boot. It apparently pisses Bryan off, because he shoots to his feet and punches Regal, then kicks him hard in the back repeatedly. Bryan gets Regal in the corner and continues to kick him. Bryan goes to whip Regal across the ring, but Regal counters and whips Bryan across. Bryan runs up the ropes and flips over Regal, and then bounces off the ropes and right into Regal’s clothesline. Regal goes for a quick pin, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal holds Bryan in a rather vicious looking headlock, but Bryan fights to his feet. He lifts Regal out of the air and goes to drop him, but Regal takes him down with him. Regal keeps the headlock applied, and Bryan fights to his feet, but Regal drops him back on the mat. Regal finally lets go and punches Bryan in the head a few times, then goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal puts his knees in Bryan’s face, then hurls him across the ring. Bryan bounces off the turnbuckle and then slams right into another clothesline from Regal. Regal goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal then puts Bryan in a full nelson, holding him there as Bryan tries to fight out. Bryan fights to his feet and then slams his ass against Regal, or at least that’s what it looks like. Regal and Bryan exchange uppercuts for a while, and then Bryan gets the momentum, only to get punched in the stomach by Regal. Regal goes for another uppercut, but Bryan catches him, going for a backslide. Regal fights out of it, and then hits Bryan in the back of the head. Regal now sets up for the Regal Stretch, but Bryan fights out of it and locks in the LaBell Lock, which Regal fights hard, for the win.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via submission.
Regal applauds Bryan, and then the Bellas get in the ring and kiss Bryan. Bryan looks confused, and I would be too.
Still to come, the WWE Champion The Miz teams up with Alex Riley and King Sheamus to take on John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Jerry “The King” Lawler!
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Ugh. Fucking Daniel. All we need is ‘What’s up?’ and… shit, I dunno. OMGREGAL! Guess I’ll watch the match now. xD #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes Please give this match time #WWE
@KeepItFiveStar Please WWE, don’t make this 3 minutes long
@TKeep123 William Regal is making a Daniel Bryon match almost watchable! Alas, the Labell lock wins out. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF Hide your kids, hide your wife, and call your friends because William Regal and Daniel Bryan is going on. IWC just creamed.
We come back to John Morrison preparing for this match backstage. Randy Orton joins him and says that it looks like Morrison’s the new Number One Contender. Morrison says that the match last night was bogus. Orton says that if Morrison wins the Championship match against Miz, he’s going after Morrison. Morrison says if that happens, he’ll be ready. He trusts Randy will be ready. Randy says that’s his first mistake: Do not trust him.
We flash to Santino laying on a towel, and Tamina standing on his back, apparently trying to work out some kink or something. He asks if she knows what she’s doing, and she says not really. Maryse walks up and says that it’s cute, ugly takes care of ugly. It’s good to know after she and Ted beat them tonight, Tamina has a plan B. Tamina calls her cupcake, and Maryse stands on Santino’s back too. The two get in each other’s faces, but security carries them off, leaving Santino face down on the floor.
Mark Henry and Gail Kim are backstage talking about how the air is much fresher because for the first time in six months, the Nexus isn’t on RAW. They continue to talk, but then are interrupted by Vickie Guerrero, who barks out an ‘excuse me!’ with Dolph Ziggler in tow. Henry says he takes that back: The air is not as fresh as he thought it was.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar They finally found Tamina some shoes.
@Niki_Sushi Dude. It’s Christmas, not fucking Valentine’s Day. Stop humping each other and WRESTLE!!! #BWF #RAW
@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF What a terrible response from Morrison. “Well uh, alright…..I’ll be ready.”
@HitTheRopes Creative meeting note: “How about we put Gail Kim in a match for #1 Contender for Diva Title…nah, a segment with Mark Henry is better.”
Santino Marella and Tamina vs Ted DiBiase and Maryse
Santino walks out, all bent over. When they get to the ring, Tamina lifts Santino, cracking his back or something, and making it all better. Santino looks like he’s going to hug her, but seems to remember that he has a match to participate in. Santino and DiBiase start out, locking up. Santino makes the Cobra with his hand, and then drops DiBiase to the ground. DiBiase retaliates by punching Santino in the face. DiBiase controls the match for a while, hitting a standing dropkick right to Santino’s chin. DiBiase gets Santino in a headlock and holds him there, Santino reaching and grabbing for the ropes. Santino fights to his feet and manages to duck the clothesline from DiBiase, and then hits a hip toss on DiBiase. DiBiase rolls over to the corner, tagging Maryse in as Santino sets up for the Cobra. Maryse stands behind Santino until he turns around, and Santino forcibly stops himself from hitting the Cobra on her, saying ‘It’s a girl’. While he fights it, Maryse turns it around on him and he hits himself with the Cobra. Tamina then comes in and super kicks Maryse right in the face. She drags her to a corner, pulls her pigtails out, and then climbs up to the top rope. She’s about to jump off, when Ted goes to get her, but Santino goes to hit the Cobra, only for Ted to send him to the mat. Tamina hits the Superfly Splash for the win.
Tamina and Santino Marella win via pinfall.
Tamina glomps Santino, for that was exactly what that was, and Santino seems to have back problems again. Then again, after taking that chair from Barrett last night and the beat down from Nexus, I’d have back problems too. Tamina then carries a celebrating Santino up the ramp.
Backstage, John Cena makes his way to the ring, regifting some flowers and then drinking someone else’s coffee, I think.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Tamina used health. Santino restored to 100 HP
@Niki_Sushi …. Did Tamina just Sweet Chin Music Maryse?! THAT’S COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes Tamina is wondering: How the heck did @TheBethPhoenix carry Santino around? Dude is NOT light.
@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF WHY IS JOHN CENA STEALING FLOWERS AND DRINKING OTHER PEOPLE’S COFFEE? #HideYourFlowersHideYourCoffee #IhatePG
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MISTLETOE!!!
Cena says that they’re extra fired up tonight, and he knows why. Because tonight is epic, monumental. He feels good about tonight, he’s gonna do something he should have done a long time ago. He hugs the guy in the We Hate Cena guy, who looks ashamed. Cena says that tonight, for the first time in six months, Monday Night RAW is Nexus-free!! It makes him wanna dance, so he does the dougie. He even says that they hit rock bottom. He says it makes him wanna sing. So, he sings to make Texas happy, of course. He says that he’s so happy to be there that he has a treat. He’s commandeered some footage from last night’s TLC. It Is the footage describing the demise of Wade Barrett.
<VIDEO PACKGE: Cena puts a panel over Barrett, then pulls chairs on top of him.>
Cena plays it again, from another camera angle. Then again, from another camera angle, and yet again in slow motion. Punk is still aghast over this, by the way, and continues to call Cena a monster. Cena says that he feels good when he gets a bargain, especially close to the holiday season. Six months ago, he promised he would get to each and every member of the Nexus, and it took some time, but last night at TLC, he got to each and every member of the Nexus. That means the winds have finally changed for Barrett and his group of turd burglars, and he can now focus on the more important things, like winning the Royal Rumble and going to Wrestlemania.
Then, it’s all ruined by Vickie’s screeching. I MEAN, asking them to excuse her.
She and Intercontinental champion Dolph Ziggler come out. Vickie says pardon the interruption, but no one hears her over the crowd. Pardon the interruption, but John wasn’t the only one who won a match last night. Cena says that there’s so much hatred in the air, he can’t hear her. Every time she goes to talk now, the crowd won’t let her speak. John’s dying as they completely swallow whatever she’s trying to say. She continues to screech, and he continues to laugh. Cena tells them to give her the floor, but they won’t do it. Cena finally has to stand right in front of her to hear her, and finally tells everyone that she said he wasn’t the only one who won last night. Vickie continues, and says that despite competing in a Triple Threat match, Dolph is still Intercontinental Champion. And since Cena can show footage, Vickie can show her own footage.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week at the Slammys, Jerry “The King” Lawler insults Vickie Guerrero.>
Vickie says that she has come to demand an apology, and if King doesn’t give her one, her boyfriend is going to beat him up. Jerry asks if it was about her weight. HE can’t help it if she’s the only Diva in the WWE whose bathtub has stretch marks. Cena says that Vickie is so fat she wakes up in sections. Jerry responds with when God said ‘let there be light’, he had to ask Vickie to step out of the way first. John responds with ‘Vickie’s so fat, her baby pictures had to be taken via satellite.” Dolph defends Vickie, and Cena stops Dolph, and says that Dolph called Vickie a double bagger, meaning Dolph has to put a bag over his head in case the one over her head breaks. Dolph used to be afraid of the dark, but then he saw Vickie naked, and was afraid of the light. It’s about here that Vickie slaps Cena.
And I Quote: “Since Vickie Guerrero is threatening that her boyfriend, Dolph Ziggler, will beat people up, let’s try it in a match tonight. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena. And that match will take place right now.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar “If You Can’t See Me, GivE Me A Hell Yeah” If they can’t see you, how are they gonna know to give the hell yeah? Worst sign ever
@kickoutblog JOHN CENA IS BACK… from not leaving!
@HitTheRopes I’m wondering if Cena handled getting dumped the same way he handled being fired. #wwe
@Niki_Sushi All I want for Christmas is my Hunter back… is that too much to ask for?! Enough! GIMME A KILLER! #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Vickie, give it up, it’s only a 2 hour show! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Boy Jerry Lawler’s all over this RAW tonight
@kickoutblog Ziggler vs. Cena = good. Vickie fat jokes when she’s no longer fat = lame.
@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF King is all “Why u mad tho!?” and Punk is facepalming at the table.
Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs John Cena
Ziggler and Cena circle one another before locking up, and Ziggler wraps his arms around Cena and takes Cena down. Ziggler goes for an early pin, but Cena gets out before Ziggler can even keep his shoulders down. Cena and Ziggler lock up again, and Cena gets Ziggler in a headlock, but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Cena backs off and watches Ziggler. Ziggler holds his hand up and Cena goes to grab it, but Ziggler kicks him in the stomach and then attacks Cena in the corner. Ziggler keeps his momentum, whipping Cena across the ring, but Cena counters and then hits the running bulldog on Ziggler, who rolls under the ropes. Cena catches Ziggler’s foot that time, kicking Ziggler before hitting a fisherman suplex and going for the cover. Ziggler kicks out, but Cena flings him across the ring, only to run right into the turnbuckle himself. Ziggler gets up and attacks Cena. Ziggler whips Cena across the ring, and Cena bounces off the turnbuckle. Ziggler goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Ziggler then this some hard kicks out Cena before punching him right in the face. He does it again, knocking Cena down, and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Ziggler kicks Cena hard, but Cena drops Ziggler. Cena goes for a cover, but Ziggler kicks out at two. Cena whips Ziggler, who bounces off the ropes and kicks Cena before going for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler locks in a hold of some kind, but Cena fights to his feet. Cena then worms his way up and puts Ziggler up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ziggler counters by dropping Cena face-first to the mat and then going for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh boy Dolph Ziggler is gonna job out like the guards did to Austin Power’s Dad in Goldmember.
@CMPunkSays If the #WWE ran Twitter, the Fail Whale would be replaced by the Failure Turtle.
@Niki_Sushi WWE made a bad move by having their money-maker act like a 10 year old bully. The guys may love it, but Mom’s gonna be pissed. #BWF #RAW
We come back to Cena gaining momentum, side slamming Ziggler to the mat. Ziggler and Cena then take each other out with clotheslines. The ref begins the count, and both men reach their feet, Ziggler first. Ziggler then drops Cena back to the ground, going for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler hits a dropkick to the jaw and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler went for another dropkick, but Cena avoids it. Cena then comes back with a couple shoulder take downs and sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, which he hits. Ziggler gets to his feet, and Cena gets Ziggler on his shoulders. Ziggler fights out and then tries for the sleeper, but Cena counters and locks in the STF. Vickie stands on the edge, distracting the ref, as Ziggler taps out. Cena starts to celebrate when he realizes that the ref never saw it. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, but Cena kicks out of the following cover at two. Ziggler then undoes the cover on the turnbuckle, and the ref gets him away from it. Ziggler grabs the Intercontinental Championship and goes to hit Cena with it, but Cena ducks it and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the win.
John Cena wins via pinfall.
Cena gets his arm raised in victory, and then CM Punk gets in the ring and beats Cena with a chair. Punk then calmly walks away as Cena stands up and glares after Punk.
Coming up, the six man tag team match.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar C’mon Ziggler! First you do the Fame-asser, then you do a cocky pin?
@TKeep123 Poor Dolph…having to defend Vickie’s honor! Could be a long night! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi On the off-chance Nexus IS gone, I hope people realize the members still have contracts… #BWF #RAW
@FrankWWEClown I’M MARKING OUT. I’M MARKING OUT. I’m a Cena fan, but I can’t stop marking out!!! My hometown boy @CMPunk just made a statement! #WWE
@dasharpshooters Never mess with a man and his Diet Soda Cena. CM PUNK IS BACK IN ACTION! #wwe #raw
@StrikerSays I’m expecting him to turn green and lose all his clothes except for his purple shorts.
@HitTheRopes CM Punk has just made a bunch of folks happy and even more pissed off. #WIN
@ThingsColeSays The Feud That Diet Soda Built: CM Punk vs. John Cena
@kickoutblog Kick my cat, I kill your dog. Spill my diet soda, I hit you with a steel chair. #PhilosophyofPunk
Moments ago, Josh Matthews asked CM Punk why he attacked Cena. Punk responded with the only thing Cena understands is aggression. Last night, he brutalized Barrett with a steel chair, and tonight, Punk just gave him a dose of his own medicine.
Backstage, King’s getting ready for his match and is met by Sheamus. Sheamus says that he sees King still carries around his old crown. Unlike King, Sheamus earned his crown. As far as Sheamus is concerned, there’s only room for one king around here. They’ve been calling King King since 1974. Sheamus says to spare him the history lesson, because as far as tonight is concerned, the King is dead. Long live the King.
Vickie says that she went out there looking for an apology, and Dolph didn’t get her one. Dolph responds that he’s challenging Cena to a rematch tomorrow night. Vickie says that it’s going to be a handicapped match: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler and her.
AWESOME!
Alex Riley and the WWE Champion The Miz make their way to the ring for their tag team match.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi For all that talk about keeping yourself healthy… why isn’t CM Punk wearing a seat belt? #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Vickie is gonna kick Cena’s ass.
@KeepItFiveStar Dolph, last time you did this, Daniel Bryan beat you three times.
@TKeep123 “FELLA” in Lawler’s face…. “…I actually eRRRRNed this crown!” King vs King tonight! Hey, wheres the King of Kings? #WWE #RAW #BWF
WWE Champion The Miz, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus vs John Morrison, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Randy Orton
The match starts out with Alex Riley and Randy Orton. Orton doesn’t seem happy that Miz tagged in Riley right away, and he takes his rage out on Riley. Orton drags Riley into the middle of the ring and jumps on him, his knees hitting his face. Orton tags in Morrison, who hits Riley and sends him into the corner. Morrison whips him into the other corner and then slams into him. Riley is in Morrison’s corner, but tries to fight out. Lawler is tagged in and fights against Riley before hitting a dropkick on Riley. Riley fights back, slamming Lawler into his corner. Riley tags Miz in and Lawler knocks Miz right off his feet. Lawler tags in Orton, and Miz flees the ring, running in and tagging Sheamus in. Sheamus looks like he’s not completely sure what the hell just happened, but climbs in the ring anyway.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Miz should be using The Roots version of his theme.
@Niki_Sushi Yes, Miz is awesome. Just because you’re screaming it into the mic doesn’t mean he’s going to be waiting in your hotel room, Cole. #BWF #RAW
@CMPunkSays You know what’s sad? Alex Riley has gained more notoriety than the guy who actually WON Season 2 of NXT.
@TKeep123 One last time to see Jerry “drop the strap”……. I”m hopeful! #RAW #WWE #BWF
We come back to Lawler being the one in the ring against Sheamus. Sheamus distracts the ref and Riley gets in a cheap shot. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Lawler kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Lawler in an armbar, I believe, and holds him there. Lawler fights to his feet and is met with a knee to this midsection by Sheamus. Sheamus runs at Lawler, who moves last second and sends Sheamus shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Morrison comes in off the tag, and starts to get a good momentum, but seems to hurt his already-injured leg and Sheamus tries to take advantage. Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to set up Starship Pain, but Riley distracts him. He gets up to do it again, but Sheamus knocks him down, bouncing his head off the mat. Miz comes in off the tag from Sheamus and immediately attacks the injured leg of Morrison. He slams Morrison down on his knee, tagging Sheamus back in. Sheamus locks himself around Morrison’s leg, applying pressure, before planting his knees into Morrison’s. Morrison manages to swing Sheamus around, and Sheamus tags in Riley, who prevents Morrison from reaching his teammates. Riley continues to go after the injured leg, slamming it against the mat. Riley gets Morrison in the corner and delivers some hard hits. Riley tries to get Morrison into his corner and finally gets him off the rope to do so. Riley tags in Miz, who continues on the injured leg. Miz goes to jump on Morrison’s leg again, but Morrison kicks Miz out of the ring. Miz runs back in and stops Morrison before he can tag in a teammate. Miz tags in Sheamus, who goes right back to the injured leg. Sheamus delivers hard forearms to Morrison’s chest before going to the cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Morrison in a hold using his leg, but Morrison uses his good leg to get out of it. Sheamus is having none of it, however, and drops his elbow onto Morrison’s spine. Sheamus mocks Morrison as he reaches for his teammates before dropping Morrison to the mat.
Breaking up that huge wall of text, Sheamus gets Morrison in a half Boston crab, and Morrison tries to drag Sheamus to his corner. Lawler distracts the ref, and Orton runs in, hitting Sheamus to get him to let go of Morrison. Sheamus recovers quickly, however, and attacks Morrison. Sheamus tags in Miz, and Miz misses at stopping Morrison, and Morrison tags in Orton. Orton this a quick flurry of attacks before hitting the scoop slam. Then, he pulls Miz into the ring and this the DDT. He goes for a cover, but Sheamus comes in and breaks up the pin. Morrison takes Sheamus out over the top rope, and Orton drops to his knees. Miz has his back to Orton, but Riley comes in, taking the RKO meant for Miz. Miz puts his boot in Orton’s face, and Orton is tagged by Lawler. Lawler takes down the strap, and Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton comes in and hits the RKO, leaving Lawler to pin The Miz.
Randy Orton, John Morrison, and Jerry “The King” Lawler win via pinfall.
And I Quote: “The television show, Smackdown, will be live tomorrow night at 9/8 central here on the USA Network from San Antonio, Texas. In addition to all the Smackdown superstars, RAW’s contribution will be a handicapped match. As we heard earlier tonight, it’ll be Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero vs John Cena. Also, just added to tomorrow night’s event, the WWE Champion, The Miz, will take on Randy Orton, live on Smackdown.”
Miz comes in and attacks Lawler from behind. Orton goes to set Miz up for the powerbomb, but Riley interferes and Miz flees again. Randy flat out calls Miz a son of a bitch, by the way. I heard it clear just now.
Anywho. Next Monday, I may not be watching RAW. My brother, who has been in the Army for the past few months, is going to be here for Christmas, so I may be spending time with him. I should be able to let you know by Monday.
Don’t forget to vote for the RAW Tweeter of the Year!!! I’ll see you all later!!
It’s been a couple weeks since I last made a review, and I’d like to thank the boss man himself, ThinkSoJoE for covering the past two weeks for me! Now, next week is a special three-hour RAW (Jeez, these things are popping up everywhere! Old School, then King of the Ring, and now this!) that is dedicated to the Slammy Awards! But, we’re not there yet!
Tonight on Monday Night RAW, Randy Orton returns to the ring, Michael Cole must answer for his actions last week during the TLC match between Jerry “The King” Lawler and WWE Champion The Miz, and there’s supposed to be a Fatal Four Way match for the WWE Tag Team Championships?! Only way this can get better is if Jerry Lawler knocks Michael Cole out again!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: WWE Champion The Miz gets challenged for a title match against Jerry “The King” Lawler. The two face off in a TLC match, where Michael Cole interferes to assist The Miz in retaining the WWE Championship.>
Jerry Lawler and CM Punk are sitting together without Michael Cole!! The crowd chants for him, and Punk says that he thinks Lawler would have done it if it hadn’t been for Michael Cole.
Cole interrupts and comes out from the stage with a mic. He says that it is with the deepest remorse that he comes out tonight to try to explain his actions last week. He’s been wrestling with it all week long, and he doesn’t know why he did what he did. These people don’t understand how traumatic last week was for him. The hate mail that he received, how could everyone write those hurtful things about him? But, the one thing he won’t’ do is apologize for the way he feels about the Miz, because when The Miz started in this company, Cole was the only one who supported him. And when The Miz won the WWE Championship, it was like his own son had won the championship. So, Jerry, last week, when all this was going on in the ring, and Miz was down, and Jerry was climbing… Cole got caught up in the emotion of the moment. Jerry, because of that, that’s what he deeply regrets.
King picks up a mic and says that he really expected Cole to apologize, because Cole cost him the WWE Championship. Cole says he regrets his actions last week and asks if King has ever made a mistake, and says he made a mistake. King says that it may be a mistake, but he may have to go up there and finish what he started last week. He stands up, but Cole tells him to wait. Punk says he’s not going to stop King. Cole says they should talk about this like adults. The way he just acted, it rang a bell in Cole’s head. Cole believes the way that King just acted, King is as much to blame for last week as Cole is. Cole and King are supposed to report on the news, not make it. Last week, King made the news, King was the headline. King had to be Jerry “The King” Lawler one more time. He had to steal the spotlight, he couldn’t let The Miz have his one moment. King had to steal it from him. So, the more Cole thinks about this, he doesn’t think he owes King an apology. He thinks King owes him an apology. King says he’s going to come and give Cole what he thinks he owes Cole.
<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>
Punk says that he’ll handle it, since Cole’s scared to get out of the ring. Punk steps up to the podium and tells everyone hello. He says he’s always wanted to do it, then mocks Cole, much to everyone’s amusement.
“I am ordering a cease and desist on any physicality between Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. Violation of this order will result in termination. What I would like right now is for Jerry to get in the ring and shake hands with Michael.”
Jerry starts toward the ring, and Punk says this isn’t worth King’s job. King gets in the ring, and shakes Cole’s hand. Cole walks away, but Jerry didn’t let go. King says no physicality. But, he thinks there’s someone in the back who may want to say something to him.
I hear voices in my head…
Randy walks out, Cole tries to leave again, but Lawler holds him there. Lawler finally lets Cole’s hand go, but keeps him in the ring anyway. Randy stands there, and Cole goes to leave, but Lawler makes him stay.
Orton says that he wants Cole to send a message to The Miz: Randy doesn’t blame him for cashing in when he did, because if the roles were reversed, he would have done the exact same thing. As a matter of fact, Randy and The Miz are a lot alike. The only difference is that Randy has proven that he has the ability to back up what he says in the ring. So, Cole, keep rooting for the Miz, Randy doesn’t care, because injured knee or not, he’s going to take back the WWE Championship from The Miz tonight.
AWESOME!
The Miz and Alex Riley walk out, with Lawler still keeping Cole in the ring, and Miz says that Randy used to be so original, so willing to stand on his own, but now he sounds like everyone else who is underestimating Miz. This past summer, they were both in the same Money in the Bank match. The only difference is Miz won and Randy lost. Now, Randy’s left standing there in the middle of that ring with nothing more than tough talk and an injured knee. Well, Miz stands on that stage, the new WWE Champion, and as far as Randy winning back his title tonight, yeeeah, that’s not gonna happen. Because, the RAW Gm already informed him that he successfully defended his title last week, he doesn’t have to defend it again until TLC in two weeks, against Randy. T he good news is that Randy’s knee is going to be all better, but it doesn’t make a difference, because Randy’s going to lose again. Randy says that it’s a great plan, but where are the seven guys who are going to beat him down before he faces him. Randy tells him not to look at Alex, because Riley doesn’t count as one. Riley says that that’s pretty funny coming from a guy on one leg. And even though The Miz doesn’t have to lower himself by facing Randy, Alex has five minutes to kill, and he’d like to challenge Randy Orton to a match. Randy says he doesn’t know what it is Alex just said, but he accepts. Miz says there’s one more thing Miz has to tell Randy, and that’s the stipulation for TLC. So, he’s going to think long and hard, because his decision is going to be just like him: Awesome. Randy says he’s looking forward to Miz’s decision, and for anyone out there who thinks he may be too injured to compete, there is one thing, injured knee or not, that he can still do very well. He then RKOs Michael Cole.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Is CM Punk wearing a Charles Manson shirt? Brilliant. Take any concerns over last week’s wardrobe and crank it up to 11.
@JCenadotcom The announce table without Michael Cole? My God! You can tell Christmas is near. 🙂
@RingsideRants I will mark out so hard if Jim Ross comes out to announce tonight. #Raw
@WWEUniverse COLE SLAW, courtesy of @RandyOrton! #WWE
@Niki_Sushi Ah, Jerry. You’re a sneaky one, arentcha? RKO to the FACE! x3 #BWF #RAW
@Lunna1969 OMG!!! STFU COLE!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@TKeep123 Probably the biggest “YOU SUCK!” chant I’ve heard in many years…and all well deserved for… Michael Cole! #RAW #WWE #BWF
They play the video replay back, and Punk says that Cole tripped on his clown shoes right into an RKO. During the commercial, referees and staff had to help Michael Cole out of the ring. Josh Matthews joins Jerry Lawler and CM Punk ringside for commentary.
Ted DiBiase and Maryse vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Brie or Nikki Bella
Before the match one of the Bellas is already on Daniel’s arm, and the other one isn’t happy about it. But no one cares, because Maryse is in the ring.
DiBiase and Bryan start up, locking up for DiBiase to push him away. The other Bella heads down to the ring, and DiBiase keeps control of Daniel. Punk hopes another Maryse comes down, and so do I. Bryan gets control over DiBiase now, and Matthews calls Punk Miz. In the ring, the Divas are in, and Brie, I guess, gets advantage over Maryse, who goes for a cover, but Maryse kicks out. Maryse fights back, dropping Brie hard. Maryse seems to have hurt herself, and yells at DiBiase, then at Brie. She goes for a clothesline, but misses, only for Brie to go for a cover. DiBiase breaks it up, and Nikki switches while Maryse yells at Bryan, who is distracting the ref. Nikki goes for a small package and gets it for the win. Shit match, gonna be honest.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella win via pinfall.
Brie and Nikki seem to be working together again, and in the ring, Maryse and DiBiase fight, but Maryse puts her hand in his face, and walks away. He glares after her.
Coming up, Gabriel and Slater take on the Usos, Kozlov and Marella, and Henry and Tatsu for the WWE Tag Team Championships, and an exclusive interview with Wade Barrett.
Next week is a special three-hour RAW for the Slammy Awards!
<COMMERCIAL>
@MattWRoberts I didn’t know Daniel Bryan was the guest host of Raw tonight!!! So cool!!
@RingsideRants Where is the anonymous GM for this Bella switch bullshit that happens every week? #LogicIsOverrated
@kickoutblog Good news: Daniel Bryan match without Michael Cole commentating. Bad news: it’s also a Bella match.
@seraphalexiel This is why Ted should’ve stuck with Virgil.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: R-Truth calls out a member of Nexus, but John Cena takes out McGuillicutty, Slater, and Gabriel.>
Now, the Wade Barrett interview, via satellite. Otunga, however, tells us that Barrett’s on his way to the arena for Slater and Gabriel’s title match. Matthews asks what they’re strategy is for taking out Cena, but Otunga says he’s not going to tell him that. They do have a plan, and Cena’s going to pick them off one by one, but the Nexus is going to stay united. Someone knocks, and Otunga says that the interview is over. He jerks the door open, and Otunga gets onto him for taking forever, and then says that he’s not paying for cold food. Someone knocks on the door again, and Otunga answers, only for it to be Cena. Harris, I believe, attacks Cena, but Otunga gets away. Cena proceeds to rip Harris apart, and then chases after Otunga.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh David Otunga, didn’t you learn anything from Edge and Lita?
@Niki_Sushi My poor Justin. :< I’ll play nurse for you. :3 #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Thanks, David, you stay in the hotel room….Room Service for you! Bet You Can’t SEE Housekeeping! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@HitTheRopes Yo, Nexus gets a new shirt like every other week now. #wwe
@kickoutblog Dear WWE Superstars: never invite a camera crew to your home or hotel room… it’s a guaranteed ass kicking.
We get back, and David Hart Smith is in the ring! Josh Matthews says he’s been waiting for this match for quite some time, but… they just fought on Superstars!
David Hart Smith vs Tyson Kidd
Tyson walks down to the ring with some tall ass- OMG! This is the guy that beat Goldust in the pre-RAW match when I was in Orlando! He’s a good wrestler, guys, very strong. Did beat Goldust… Don’t remember his name. EDIT: Apparently, it’s Jackson Andrews
ANYWAY!
Kidd and Smith start out, and Smith keeps a quick advantage until Kidd kicks him in the jaw, but it doesn’t last and Smith throws him back in the ring. Kidd gets a great advantage using his speed and attacks with hard kicks before throwing him into the middle of the ring. He puts his knee in smith’s back and pulls his arms back, but Smith fights to his feet, only for Kidd to kick him. Smith hits a clothesline, then a flying shoulder, then a belly to belly throw across the ring. Kidd gets to his feet, but Smith runs into an elbow. Kidd goes up top, but Smith hits him hard. Smith climbs up too, and hits a superplex, going for the cover. Kidd kicks out at two, and then counters an Irish Whip into the clothesline. Kidd counters to a roll through and pins him.
Tyson Kidd wins via pinfall.
Smith runs out and attacks Kidd, but the big guy slams Smith into the barrier, then throws him into the ring and joins him. The new guy then clotheslines Smith to hell. Kidd climbs in, looking like friggin Hornswoggle next to this guy.
Axe Murderer Gabriel is backstage with Slater and Barrett, and says that they aren’t safe anywhere. Gabriel says that he’s not sure how well he can defend the title, but Barrett says not to be afraid, and in the long run, everything is going to work itself off. Otunga apparently ran all the way to the arena and says that Barrett’s plan didn’t work. Barrett says it was Otunga’s execution of the plan. Slater and Gabriel need to focus on defending the titles. Barrett looks at Otunga and says that he’s going to go to the ring and call out Cena, and tells him to watch, because then he’ll learn something about taking care of business. Otunga says that Barrett better, because if he doesn’t, he may have a mutiny on his hands.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar LMAO. Otunga with his Kenyan 600 like speed.
@Niki_Sushi ‘It’d be hard to kidnap this guy!’ Naw…. you think? #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Damn, that hotel must be close by! Looks like Otunga ran the whole way! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@Lunna1969 Dude looks like he has roid rage! #WWE #RAW #BWF
Fatal Four Way Tag Team Elimination Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso with Tamina vs. Yoshi Tatsu and Mark Henry vs. The WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater
Wonder how Tamina will affect Santino’s chances… But, at least with this, we all know who will win.
Justin and Tatsu start out, locking up with Gabriel getting an advantage. Tatsu puts him in a headlock, no doubt causing a problem for Gabriel’s sore neck, but Tatsu ducks every move Gabriel throws at him. Tatsu hits a spinning heel kick and goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out. Gabriel fights back with a kick to the gut and tags in Slater, who is thrown to the ground. Tatsu then puts him in a submission (arm bar? I missed it), and Mark Henry is tagged in. Heath quickly tags in one of the Usos, who won’t get in, until Henry drags him in by his hair. Henry then punches Jey, apparently, in the head and drops him to the ground. Henry tags Tatsu back in and holds Jey as Tatsu plants his feet in Jey’s chest. Jey runs Tatsu into the corner and tags in Jimmy. Tatsu is being abused in the corner, and Jey is tagged in, and they hit their team finisher thing, and take Henry off the apron with a double baseball slide. Heath tags himself in through whichever Uso is in, and then goes for a cover on Tatsu, who cannot kick out.
Mark Henry and Yoshi Tatsu are eliminated.
The Usos come back in and really give it to Slater, who kicks out of the cover. Slater fights back, however, and the other Uso tags himself in, both of them dropping Slater. Gabriel breaks up the cover with a kick to the head. Uso then drops Slater to the mat, but Slater gets up, fighting back. Vladimir tags himself in using Heath to do so and proceeds to man handle everyone, knocking Slater and Gabriel and the other Uso off the apron, and then pinning him.
Jimmy and Jey Uso are eliminated.
So, it’s now Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater. Tamina stays with Santino, interestingly enough, and Gabriel works on weakening Kozlov’s leg. Gabriel goes for the cover, but Kozlov kicks out at two. Gabriel tags in Slater, who goes to town on Kozlov. The ref pushes him away, and Gabriel works on Kozlov. Kozlov whips Slater away and then head butts him. Santino comes in and suplexes Slater, who doesn’t like it much and lays Santino down. Gabriel is tagged in, and kicks Santino right in the face. Gabriel goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Tamina is still in the corner of Santino and Kozlov. Slater yells at the crowd to shut up, but in the ring, Santino’s fighting his way out of Gabriel’s headlock thing, and then flips Gabriel over him. Gabriel kicks him in the head, but Santino kicks out of the following cover at two. Nexus continues to tag in and out, keeping Santino in his corner, . Once again, Slater distracts the ref and Gabriel takes the time to attack Santino.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes LOL, my brother is enamored by Tamina. Is contemplating how it must be to be with a woman that muscular
@Lunna1969: I like Yoshi but seeing him with Mark Henry is making me miss @findevan (Evan Bourne) a lot! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar What kind of “Dogpile on the rabbit” move was that, Heath Slater?!
@kickoutblog If the ring blew up right now, WWE would no longer have a tag team division.
@Niki_Sushi I would rather hear Santino sing to his theme song than R Truth…. rap? his. #BWF #RAW
We come back to Gabriel trying to keep Kozlov out of his own corner. It doesn’t work, however, and Santino gets in to fight Gabriel. I see @FrankWWEClown’s wing. Santino gets Gabriel on his back with a hip toss, and then a head butt. Santino then punches Gabriel in the stomach and when he goes for a cover, Slater comes in to break it, and Kozlov goes out of the ring to get Slater away. Cena distracts Gabriel, who is hit with the Cobra for the win.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall and are the new WWE Tag Team Champions.
Tamina gives Santino a congratulatory kiss, and the three of them do the trumpet thing in the middle of the ring.
Still to come, Randy Orton is going to decimate Alex Riley, but up next is King Sheamus’ Coronation Ceremony!
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 I told ya!!!!!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! New Tag Champs! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@LadySwagger6 John Cena, you wore that outfit to RAW last week.
@KeepItFiveStar Tamina is definitely Snuka’s daughter. She hates shoes.
@kickoutblog DID SANTINO JUST THROW A STUNNER?!
By the way, everyone, in two weeks is WWE’s Tribute to the Troops featuring Diddy’s Dirty Money, Trace Adkins, Sherri Shepard, and whoever Miss USA was from last week. Because I didn’t care enough to pay attention to her name…
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head… Too many limes, too many limes…
Sheamus comes out with a wicked looking crown. I want it.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus defeats John Morrison to become the 2010 King of the Ring.>
Sheamus says it’s good to be king. He says when he won King of the Ring least week, he didn’t just win the tournament, he restored credibility to the crown. He’s far superior to all of the peasants in the arena, and he’s a better fighter than anyone across the universe, he’s the man who ended Triple H’s career, the King of Kings. He kicked him off this throne, and became the new high king. The last high king of Ireland was a guy named Bryan something, and he fought for Ireland. He was feared and respected all across the land, but in the end, at the battle of some place, he fell and was defeated, and that will never happen to him, because his reign will live forever. He’s better than the best, and will not be remembered as Ronald McDonald or Conon O’Brien, but as the greatest high king in history.
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…
Morrison says that if Sheamus was going to go this route, why not go all the way? Get some goblins, elves, gnomes, a satyr, even (the half-man, half-goat thing). Morrison says it could escort him to the ring and afterward, they could hang out. Sheamus says that he knows why Morrison is out there, Morrison is jealous. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus is a two-time WWE Champion, and that he’s the King of the Ring, and Morrison isn’t and never will be. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus has achieved more in the past two years than in his whole career, and that Sheamus is simply the better man. Morrison says that Sheamus is right: he’s achieved more and has more accolades. He’s a former WWE Champion, the King of the Ring, and last time Morrison checked, Morrison won at Survivor Series, and Sheamus beat him last week, but the score is tied and Morrison is the better man. Sheamus laughs and says that Morrison is a funny man. If Morrison’s sense of humor matched his in ring ability, he’d be wearing the crown, but he isn’t and he isn’t. And, from now on, Sheamus wants Morrison to refer to him either as ‘Your Highness’ or the High King of the WWE. But, what Sheamus wants most, is to send an example to his loyal subjects across the WWE Universe. He wants Morrison to get down on his hands and knees and bow to his king. Morrison says that he’s not going to do that, and that in this business there are no guarantees, but Morrison has one for him: Morrison will never bow down to King Sheamus.
Sheamus attacks Morrison and demands he get down, and Morrison punches him and attacks. Morrison just keeps going after Sheamus, and Morrison uses Sheamus’ own scepter and throne against Sheamus.
Tonight, Wade Barrett is going to call out John Cena and end things once and for all.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog King Sheamus will have the last laugh when he orders John Morrison to be beheaded
@TrueKofi what in the hell is sheamus wearing?!
@HitTheRopes Cut the jokes? Was that what Morrison was attempting to make there?
@Niki_Sushi Oh god. He called himself Ronald McDonald. My life is complete. #BWF #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar Story time with King Lobster Head
@JonHexLives: Is he a king or a wizard? #WWE #RAW #Sheamus
@TKeep123 Sheamus looks like Adam Savage on sterioids! ( #MythBusters ) #WWE #RAW #BWF
Diva’s Champion Natalya vs. Melina
Lay-Cool are ringside, invited by Michael Cole. Lawler sums up my thoughts: Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?
Natalya starts dominating Melina, lifting Melina up and holding her up, and Punk tells everyone to shut up. Natalya goes for a cover, but Melina gets out and attacks Natalya back, slamming Natalya down onto her knees. Melina wraps her legs around Natalya’s middle, but Natalya gets Melina’s shoulder’s down. Natalya hits the spinning clothesline thing on Melina and gets her in a corner, attacking her, only to run into both of Melina’s feet. Natalya drops Melina into a split, and then locks in the Sharpshooter. Melina fights not to tap, but she finally does.
Natalya wins via submission.
LayCool get up and head into the ring, attacking Natalya. Melina, however, keeps walking away.
Still to come, Randy Orton is going to destroy Alex Riley, and Wade Barrett calls out John Cena!
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Nattie just clotheslined Melina’s Vocal Chords out! She will never shriek again.
@TKeep123 hmm..Melina vs. Natalya. I’m torn here…how about just lots of close wrestling, lots of pin attempts, then kiss & make up. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@RingsideRants Screaming before you do every move is a dead giveaway, Melina.
@kickoutblog LayCool vs. Natalya won’t end until LayCool get the belt back. It’s not like there are any other heel Divas for Natalya to work with.
@ThingsColeSays Is CM Punk gonna have to choke a bitch?
Don’t forget! Next Monday, RAW starts at 8/7 Central for the Slammy Awards!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Cole gets RKO’d with a little assistance from Jerry “The King” Lawler.>
Alex Riley and The Miz are backstage, and Alex Riley says that he won’t let Miz down. Miz says that Riley is representing The Miz and everyone’s talking about how he won. Not to mention, they’re treating it as the turning point of this company, and Riley needs to beat Randy Orton. Riley says that the only way Orton will leave Louisville on his hands and knees. The Miz says after that, he won’t tell Randy what match they’ll have at the pay-per-view, he’ll show him.
I hear voices in my head…
Randy Orton vs Alex Riley is up next.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Mm-mm-mm. I love me some sexy man, and the sexiest just came on out. I’z happeh. Now I want him to slaughter an idiot… OH WAIT! #BWF #RAW
@ThingsColeSays Did Miz just quote HBK? “Look in my eye!” bwhahahahahahaahahhahha
@kickoutblog This week’s Miz suit < last week’s Miz suit.
@kickoutblog At least Dennis Miller won’t be anywhere near this year’s Slammy Awards.
@Lunna1969 I so volunteer to be the person that oils Randy up!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@TKeep123 Amazing how entertaining this night has been WITHOUT Michael Cole on commentary! #WWE please take note! #RAW #BWF
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Two weeks ago, The Miz cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Nexus takes out Randy Orton’s knee, and I was there.>
AWESOME!
Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley with WWE Champion The Miz
The Miz is standing in Riley’s corner as this match begins, and Orton gets distracted by him right away, allowing Riley to focus on the knee again. Orton fights back, however, and throws Riley in the corner, getting forcibly moved away from the corner by the ref. Orton’s down, and Riley goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out. Riley stays focused on the injured knee. Randy gets back up and hits a suplex on Riley. Orton gets up again and hits Riley a few times, getting his momentum back. He hits an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline, and then his scoop slam. Riley rolls around the ring in pain for a minute, and manages to roll under the bottom rope, like an idiot. Orton hits that second rope DDT that we all love and then glares at Miz before flipping around and slamming onto the mat, pounding down. He gets up to hit it, but The Miz comes in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale.
Randy Orton wins via disqualification.
The Miz demands a microphone and says that he is going to show Orton what stipulation they are going to have at the pay per view. He goes under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up, scares the ref away (earning a laugh from me), and then lifts Randy up by his ears. Randy fights back, however, and goes to throw Miz into the table, but Miz gets out of it and flees the ring, leaving his rookie in the ring. Orton realizes this and turns his gaze to Riley. He picks Riley up, and then Batista Bombs power bombs Riley right through the table.
Barrett makes his way to the ring, and tells Otunga to make sure the rest of the guys are ready.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar That might be the first time I’ve seen Randy Orton do a powerbomb…EVER!
@TKeep123 MIZ declares, It’s a BEVERAGE MATCH! OOPS, wrong side of the ring…. It’s a Tables Match! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi I love how there’s a refreshment box under the ring. #BWF #RAW
@Fullmetal_Ninja: #WWE #RAW A-Ri is gonna get his A-Hole ripped.
Another reminder of the Slammy’s. Seriously, just scroll up.
Barrett makes his way to the ring, hopefully with Otunga already having prepped Nexus to come out. Barrett says that he’s about to admit to something he’s never admitted to in his life: he got it wrong. He assumed that Cena was a man of his word, but we all know the stipulation from Survivor Series: it was free or fired, not free or turn up at RAW and attack the Nexus at will. It was free or fired and Cena was fired. If Cena had one ounce of integrity in his body, he’d never show his face here again. Barrett says that Cena can attack the rest of Nexus as much as he wants, but Nexus can’t get him hired, only Barrett can. With that being said, Barrett wants to invite Cena out to the ring now, from wherever it is he’s hiding, because there’s something he wants to get off his chest. Barrett tells Cena not to be shy, and Cena appears in the audience, high fiving people and making his way to the ring. Punk tells security they have a jumper, and I laugh.
Nexus comes out when Cena gets to the ring, with an apparently much better Harris. Barrett says that he’s allowed Cena out to the ring, but if Cena puts a foot out of line, or threatens him, Nexus will beat Cena within an inch of his life. Cena says okay. Barrett tells Cena that the WWE Universe can cheer as much as they want, but it doesn’t help. He knows that Cena has problems understanding him, so he’s going to say it slowly, and Cena can read his lips: This is not going to work. Barrett will never rehire him. Cena laughs before talking. He tells Barrett that he’s stupid, then mocks him. Cena says that being fired actually isn’t that bad. Technically, he’s not a WWE Superstar, but he’s part of the WWE Universe, and he still has a lot of friends, and he can tailgate with the WWE Universe, and they’re crazy. And best of all is that he has so much time on his hands that he can think of making the Nexus’ lives hell. Cena says at least Heat and Justin didn’t lose to Santino and the Cobra (oh wait), and then asks how the beatdowns last week were. And he asks how David and ‘Hasky’s’ room service was. Cena says that he’s perfectly content with staying fired, buying a ticket to ever RAW, and making the lives of every Nexus member miserable. So, Mr. Barrett, he doesn’t want to rehire Cena? Cena could care less. Cena asks fi they’re done, because he has to go party. Barrett says that he may be out to intimidate the rest of the Nexus, but he can’t intimidate Barrett. Barrett asks what insurances that the attacks are going to stop. Cena sys that if he was rehired, he’d have so much room for activities, compete in matches, have his own talk show, or he could compete for the WWE Championship. Cena says the reason he never thought of it is because he doesn’t have the WWE Championship. If Barrett keeps him fired, and all he has to do is buy a ticket and ruin his life. Cena says that if Barrett has the guts to hire him back, the attacks on Nexus may stop, but his attacks on Barrett will not. He deserves payback, and payback is what he will get. If Barrett was a man of honor and integrity, he’d rehire Cena on the spot, and they’d end it tonight. And if Barrett doesn’t, Cena’s going to get him, but Barrett will never know when or where, but it will happen. And it’s not just going to be once, he won’t stop. Every single day that Barrett is in the WWE, Cena makes it his promise that his life will be a nightmare. Barrett says that that sounded like a threat and tells Nexus to extinguish this man.
Nexus doesn’t move.
Barrett continues to tell them to come down to the ring, but Harris walks backstage, followed by Slater, Gabriel, and finally, Otunga, who all ignore repeated orders to return to the ring. Cena then tackles Barrett and chases him, hurling him into the steel steps. Cena pulls them away from the ring, and Punk tries to protect his diet soda. Punk says flat out that he’s moving. Cena gives Punk his soda this time, but Punk doesn’t seem to care. Barrett is lifted onto Cena’s shoulders, and climbs the steps, but Barrett takes off running, managing to make it out of the ring and up the ramp. The sound guys didn’t get the memo, and play Cena’s music. Cena offers Punk one of his wristbands, but Punk throws it away.
Barrett moves backstage and sees Nexus, and yells at all of them. Otunga stands there and says that Barrett may not be giving them orders anymore. Next week, Barrett either hires Cena back, or he’s kicked out of Nexus. Barrett says they have to be kidding, but the other members of Nexus gang up on him.
I’m sorry everyone, but the only image the website would let me post was the Blinded by Nexus one. xP I’ll try to get more of them up next week!!
This Cena angle is so much better than the Juan Cena angle and I’m happy I did not have to see that. So, next week, RAW starts at 8/7 Central and is the Slammy Awards!! Maybe I can talk ThinkSoJoE into helping me with our very own awards (that may come a few weeks later). Who knows? Stay tuned!
And I’m ending with a random thought: If Alex Riley can be called A-Ri, can I be called A-Kat?? Ahaha. Ignore that.
It is I, the King of the BoredWrestlingFan crew, and I have returned for a second straight week with a review of wWE RAW! I took over writing duties for tonight after the show ended, so I won’t be using tweets in tonight’s review (sorry, @TKeep123, @WWEsAngel_Nef, among others). AlyKat should be back next week. She would have been back this week, but she’s spent the last week popping open bottles of champagne due to The Miz’s WWE Championship victory and her wrists hurt too badly to type. Are you ready? Because tonight’s show is simply this: RAWWWWWESOME!
Hello everyone, I’m here with a RAW Review Insert (because I don’t know what else to call it) to fill you in on what happened last night at the Amway Center, where I was in attendance!
First off, funny story, since I saw that ThinkSoJoE mentioned this last night: We thought it was the Amway Arena too. Turns out, the Amway Arena is closed. So we got to Orlando a ridiculous three hours before the tickets said to show up, and walked around the Amway Arena (and got a picture of a production truck), only to see that it was closed. We had two different sets of directions to go off of, so at least we knew where we were supposed to go. We got there and stood in line for an eternity. I saw someone dressed up as Hogan (who ended up up front, that bastard), and then someone dressed up as The Miz with his old ring gear, flame-decorated fedora and all. I couldn’t get a picture of him because he walked away too fast, but it did make standing in that damn line tolerable.
Minor Superstar Spoilers coming now.
Justin Roberts told us that we were starting out with a match. It was Goldust vs some guy whose name I can’t remember. Orlando LOVES Goldust, just to let you know. Cheered him on loud. It was pretty damn cool. He lost, unfortunately, but he’s… electric in person, to make a bad pun.
King and the new guy for Superstars came out. We all clapped and cheered a little for the new guy, but King got a standing ovation, and after he sat down, some Jerry chants. He laughed and waved. Pretty neat.
Next up was Santino (who got a HUMONGOUS pop) and Vladimir Kozlov (who also got a humongous pop, but Santino’s was bigger). I saw a couple Santino signs floating around, so that was cool. They were up against Ryder and Primo, who were the hated enemies. Pretty good match, and Santino is… crazier in person. Something I learned: Zack Ryder can’t seem to keep his trunks over the very bottom portion of his ass. I’m not sure you needed – or wanted – to know that, but there it is. Santino and Kozlov won after a Cobra, which we continuously called for. Made the night that much better.
Here is where Michael Cole came out, to a series of boos and cheers, and he pointed at one Cole-hating sign and laughed, then pointed at mine, mouthed the words, and laughed too. Apparently, he likes the whole heel-Cole thing. He’s good at it, and seemed to be a pretty decent guy. Justin Roberts told us here that they were going to do the pre-RAW sweep over of the crowd to get signs and what not, so that’s why Cole was there. Then, Cole moved for the new guy.
Usos and Henry were at it again for Superstars. Tamina joined the Usos, but we all seemed to hate them (I like the Usos, but I really wanted to cheer, so I just stuck with what was going on. Minor shame, but I had fun). Mark Henry won that one, painfully, by stacking the Usos on top of one another and then just slamming his whole body weight down on top of the both of them, and then hitting the one who had been on bottom with the World’s Strongest Slam. Night night.
Superstar spoilers over.
Then it was time for RAW!!! We did NOT want Barrett talking. Every time he started, we kept shutting him up. I had to stop at one point from booing him to laugh. I have no idea what he said, except he insulted us once, I think, and continued to look REALLY pissed off as we booed him. The SHUT UP COLE sign you saw behind Cole when he stood up to read the email was mine. J The same one he laughed at. It made me happy.
During this first commercial break, we were shown WWE commercials: Knucklehead, Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania Reading Challenge, Smackdown vs RAW 2011, a Legendary, and the History of the WWE Championship were all the commercials we saw. There was a Kiss Cam, and Josh Matthews did come out to show everyone signs. Those were the only unique things that happened during commercials. Otherwise, I just got to see more of the matches.
CM Punk came out to a HUGE pop here, which is a little surprising. We don’t care that he was a villain on Smackdown, because he provides witty commentary. Sheamus came out to a surprisingly huge pop, and there was a green sign behind Cole that had “IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING LOBSTER HEAD” on top, a white stick figure thing of Sheamus below that, and then “TOO MANY LIMES TOO MANY LIMES” on the bottom. If you saw it, that was me. If not, well… fine then. R-Truth came out to a huge pop too, and I was all confused by the What’s Up song, but I didn’t say anything. R-Truth has run his course with me. Got a bunch of good pictures of Sheamus, btw. His hair’s not as red in person, but he’s just as white. Pretty decent match, crowd was divided on who they were behind though. Oh, and when Sheamus hit the High Cross on Truth, he bounced really, really high. I was stuck giggling and missed the pin, but Sheamus won.
Since the announcers plugged it here, I bought the John Cena experience. Yeah. I did.
We all laughed at the backstage segments. LayCool was booed until Natalya came on, and she was cheered so loud that I missed what she said, but that’s alright. Randy was cheered so I missed his question, but that’s also alright. The crowd seemed excited for the Ezekiel Jackson vs The Miz match, but I was more.
When Alex Riley came out by himself, I wanted to punch him. I admit I laughed at Miz having an anxiety attack (and even harder this morning when I found out that @TKeep123 anticipated I may have kidnapped him… Not this time, Fred!!), but I cheered for Alex. Ezekiel is HUGE in person. I think the guy’s muscles have muscles have muscles. Good match though.
Random note now that I’m thinking about it: To whoever kept screaming at me to put my sign down, screw you honey. I don’t care that you can’t see. That’s what that GIANT screen at the top of the ramp is for. Dumbass.
HUGE pop for Cena. We continued to cheer for him throughout the entire time he was out there, and when he wanted us to do the “Let’s Go Cena” “Cena Sucks” thing, it was even louder in person. I think it echoed even after he stopped it. And @Niki_Sushi texted me practically jumping down my throat to find out what he said here, and he said that it may be bending the censors, but he was already fired, and told Barrett that karma was a bitch. We all cheered for possibly breaking the PG barrier. Cena chants followed him up the ring the entire time. He also mentioned that someone may be having a heart attack that he was going over his allotted time, but we still didn’t care. That actually made us cheer again.
Ted and Maryse came out during the commercial to a huge pop (at least from me). Maryse is SOO pretty in person, and Ted is gorgeous. Gonna say that now. Maryse walked around as Ted paced back and forth, we got another commercial (which screwed me up), and then Daniel Bryan came down with Bella Hoe #1, and got a huge pop from everyone (but me). Pretty good match, and Ted is brutal in person. The Bellas are almost pretty in person (I can’t stand them and they aren’t that pretty to me), and are kind of idiotic. They went to hold the ropes apart for Bryan, but held the bottom ropes, then started for the middle one, then went back to the bottom one. He kind of laughed at them and then went through the middle and top. Boy, they must’ve felt like morons.
Natalya came out to a huge pop, and I only got pictures of the back of her head. The woman is in constant motion. Alicia even got a bit of a pop, and her strut is… it made my hips hurt. Never done that on TV, but did in person. Someone, get her a doctor, please! We all made that, “Oooh, now you gonna get it” noise when she ripped out Natalya’s hair, and I would have died had Natalya retaliated by ripping Ailcia’s off. Good match though. Natalya’s a strong woman.
I have no idea what Melina and Morrison were talking about either. But GOD, Morrison is pretty in person. I think we were more excited about his pyrotechnics than him though, gonna be honest. Tyson got a pretty huge pop too. The Flying Chuck looked hella painful, and Morrison almost missed the ropes, when he jumped the corner there to hit it. Either way, good match.
Randy came out to a huge pop, and we were pissed when Nexus came out to jump him. I actually think that the whole Amway Center collectively gasped and tried to warn him at the same time. He limped backstage, then Barrett came back out and we booed. Then, of course, Randy came back out and we cheered. Great match, and only half of us were sitting. Cena came out and we lost our minds, then Randy hit the RKO and we did again. When Miz’s music hit, I was the only one who cheered, and everyone else booed. Half the arena joined me as Miz picked up momentum, but when he hit the Skull Crushing Finale, we all cheered, though I was louder. I was going to go home pissed if I didn’t see him (haha, no one thought that, I’m sure), but I did! And he won! And he looked like he was going to cry, and I felt so happy I thought I was gonna puke, and it was fantastic.
Look, here’s what I’m saying: If you ever have the chance to go, DO IT! Doesn’t matter where your seats are, just go. It was my first Live RAW, and I’m going to make it to whatever live show I can afford from now on. It was amazing. There was no dark main event match, but they sent me home more than happy.
Oh, and to the upset little girl whose face was shown after, Haha sweetie. Haha.
And a huge thank you to ThinkSoJoE for covering last night for me. You did a great job!! And steal all the images you want. 🙂 That’s what they’re there for.
Barrett’s assertive leadership over The Nexus has gained him more power amongst the Power Poll voters. (My vote: 2)
2. Edge (2)
On the face side of the proverbial fence again, Edge has once again started to run roughshod over the Blue Brand. Pinning David Otunga to give Team SmackDown the victory over The Nexus helps The Rated R Superstar maintain his position at number two. (My vote: 6)
3. Randy Orton (3)
The voices in his head may not be enough come Survivor Series with the odds stacked firmly against him. Despite finding himself on the losing end of a Wade Barrett pinfall victory for Nexus, The Viper stands strong at number 3. (My vote: 5)
4. The Miz (7)
How do you bounce back up the ranks of the Power Poll? Dropping the WWE Champion skull first into the canvas when you’re supposed to be his partner certainly helps. (My vote: 4)
5. Kane (1)
The World Heavyweight Champion drops way down this week, finding himself on the winning end of a tag team match that was dominated by another member of his team, who happens to be his Survivor Series opponent. (My vote: 9)
6. John Cena (6)
Hilarious promos and wins over future endeavor fodder are fun sometimes, but not when you’re John Cena, apparently, as Mr. Invisible once again charts at number 6. (My vote: 3)
7. Alberto Del Rio (10)
Del Rio continues to impress the Power Poll voters every week, and has found his way back up to number 7. (My vote: N/A)
8. Jeff Hardy (9)
Despite having to face Matt Morgan instead of his scheduled opponent Mr. Anderson, Jeff Hardy shined in the main event at Turning Point, retaining his gold in the process. (My vote: 7)
9. Daniel Bryan (4)
With yet another strong showing in a big match setting, Daniel Bryan continues to show the world that he is the absolute best at what he does. (My vote: N/A)
10. Santino Marella (NR)
Living proof that non-wrestling segments can be just as – if not more – entertaining as the matches on a wrestling show, Santino’s tea party with “Shay-moose” was hilarious enough to boost the Milan Miracle – for the first time, I’m willing to bet – onto the Power Poll (My vote: 1)
Dropped out: Matt Morgan
I also voted for: Rob Van Dam (8) and Vladimir Kozlov (10)
Hello ladies and gentlemen! The RAW Review is back this week, just as it was last week, and I’m frazzled. I decided to take on the challenge that is National Novel Writing Month, but I’ll suck that up quietly in peace and not bring it to RAW. Anyway, I’ve tucked away all the stuff for that for now, and I am focused on RAW! Just a side note, however, I am going to be missing the November 22nd edition of RAW, for I will be there LIVE when they come to Orlando!! So I may get a late review up on the 23rd or something like that depending on how tired I am. We’ll see how that goes, but why am I jumping ahead!? I have to get through tonight!!
However, before we begin, our very own ThinkSoJoE and Random Redhead’s birthdays are on the same day as Wrestlemania 27 tickets… Just an idea… 😉 There’s your plug, sweetie.
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
We start out RAW first thing with Randy Orton making his way onto the stage and into the ring. He says that he doesn’t think there’s a man alive who could take the title from him, but if someone did, he would accept it, but he couldn’t accept it if he lost it because of a crooked referee. Especially if that crooked ref just so happened to be John Cena. So, he’d like to ask Cena to come out to the ring because if he’s gonna screw Orton over at Survivor Series, the least he could do is be man enough to say it to his face.
BRRRRRRRRRR SLAM THAT DOOR!
Cena walks out and says that he will say something to Orton’s face: cut him some slack. He knows Randy is the WWE Champion, he’s been there before, they both have. Orton’s smart enough to know that championships are won and lost, they come they go, and he has a decision to make at Survivor Series. If Barrett beats Cena at Survivor Series, he’s finally out of Nexus, but if Orton wins, Cena’s fired. And he has to be the guest referee. Cena says that if there’s a situation, if something happens, he doesn’t … He asks if he sees all that chaos on unrest, but he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He’s either free or fired. Orton says that he sees that, and it’s Cena’s bleeding heart way of saying that he is gonna screw Orton over at Survivor Series. Cena denies it, but Orton says that if he does screw Orton over, then he keeps his job, but he’ll be the biggest phony in the WWE. And don’t bother coming out talking about Hustle, Loyalty, Respect, especially respect, because he’s obeying Barrett and disrespecting every champion, including himself. Then, Orton tells him to get out of his ring, because Cena doesn’t deserve to be in it. Orton then apologizes and says that Cena can’t get out of the ring without asking his master for permission. Cena says that they both worked hard to get there, and that Nexus runs the show while Cena gets coffee. Cena says that Barrett may have enough skill to compete for the WWE Championship, but he’s classless, and Barrett’s the one who doesn’t know about respect.
We walk alone, through the unknown…
Nexus – now with their new members McGuillicutty and Harris, make their way onto the stage. Barrett thanks Cena for his kind words, and he gives Cena permission to say whatever he wants about Barrett because actions will speak louder than words, and when push comes to shove, Cena will do exactly what he’s told. And at Survivor Series, Cena will raise his hand as the new WWE Champion. Cena says that all he knows that in three weeks, it’s over. He’s either out of Nexus or, and Barrett says or he’s fired. Cena asks Orton if he can have a second with his boss. Cena says that in three weeks, this thing is coming to a head, and whether he leaves Nexus or leaves the WWE, he’ll leave Barrett a parting gift: when this is all over, Cena will beat the hell out of Barrett. Orton then says that he doesn’t have to wait until Survivor Series, and as far as Orton is concerned, Barrett’s a scared little child who needs to hide behind seven other guys, and he’ll beat on him until the only thing left for Cena to do is count to ten and declare Orton the victor. Barrett starts toward the ring.
“Randy Orton, as the WWE Champion, I feel for the position you’re in. You want to know what Cena is going to do, we all wanna know, so I think we should find out tonight. Later this evening, there will be a main event with Wade Barrett and a partner of his choice vs you, Randy, and a partner of your choosing. And the special guest referee is going to be John Cena.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@CawCawBang Someone’s going to get their head punted in
@thinksojoe No, Michael Cole, you may NOT have my attention. #BWF #RAW
@Niki_Sushi So… was Cole reading the ‘e-mail’ off of Microsoft Word?
@Lunna1969 And I quote, shut the hell up Michael Cole!
We return to WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater in the ring.
WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater vs David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya
So, are these two actually going to split, or is this going to be teased the entire time? Curious… And I may be wrong. I don’t see Natalya.
Kidd and Slater start out, getting good momentum, but Kidd tags – see, punches – Smith in, and Smith dominates Slater. Smith hits the suplex on Slater, going for a cover, but Slater kicks out at two. Smith continues to dominate in the center of the ring, until Slater manages to get behind Smith and Gabriel tags himself in, getting a quick hit on Smith and taking advantage. Slater and Gabriel tag in and out, dominating Smith in their corner. Gabriel gets Smith in the middle of the ring in a headlock, and I see now that Natalya was not out here. Smith hits a scoop slam on Gabriel. Smith manages to get Kidd in, and Kidd gets a good advantage, hitting a neckbreaker before going for a cover, only for Slater to break it. Smith sends Slater flying outside of the ring, and Kidd takes advantage, dropkicking Gabriel out of the ring. Slater shoves Smith into Gabriel, sending Kidd flying into Smith. Slater then distracts Kidd, and Gabriel goes to the top rope and hits the 450 for the win.
WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater win via pinfall.
Smith yells at Kidd for a while, once again teasing the breakup.
Backstage, Cena’s standing there and Truth comes up. Truth says Cena got buck, confusing all of us, and then explains that Cena just stood up for himself. Truth then says when the moment of truth arrives, what is Cena gonna do? He says that he’s Cena’s friend, and Cena walks away.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh Hart Dynasty…ya dun goofed…again
@Niki_Sushi I was all pumped up to see Justin and Heath, but then a couple Harts came out and ruined it for me. Ah, dammit. #BWF #RAW
@seraphalexiel I wanna know when Truth and Cena got so chummy. Did anyone know they were friends before Cena became a slave?
@HitTheRopes Umm, that’s not what “getting bucked” means, R-Truth. #wwe
@kickoutblog I’d really like to see Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel lock up in the future.
The guest star tonight is PeeWee Herman. And just this song is driving me crazy.
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head, too many limes, too many limes!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: John Morrison assists Santino Marella defeat Sheamus.>
Sheamus says that everyone expected him to come out and throw a tantrum over Santino’s loss last week, but Santino didn’t beat him, he beat himself. Santino, he’s given you a week to bask in the glory of his fluke victory, but now he’s gonna pay. So, fella, come out here and try that one more time. And come out Santino does, in street clothes. Santino says that first of all, he would just like to say that he respects Sheamus as a human being. In fact, he is a little bit of a fan of his. Actually, he went trick-or-treating dressed as Sheamus. The only problem is that everyone thought he was a ghost. Sheamus smirks a little. Santino says that it was quite irritating and no wonder Sheamus is so angry. Sheamus isn’t grinning anymore. Santino says last night he consumed too much candy, and bad things happen. So, unfortunately, the doctor said that if he wrestles against Sheamus, he’s going to accidentally throw up in Sheamus’ face. He doesn’t think that anyone wants to see that, but the crowd disagrees. Santino says that he did find Sheamus a suitable replacement.
Yeah, you’re a stoopid boy…
Vladimir comes out and says that Sheamus talks funny. Now, Vladimir crush him. HULK SMASH!
Sheamus vs Vladimir Kozlov
Vladimir gets a good start against Sheamus, getting an early advantage, but Sheamus fights back. Vladimir wastes no time in getting it back, and Santino plays cheerleader for Kozlov. Sheamus gets Kozlov in the corner and gets Kozlov in the middle of the ring, hitting a back breaker and going for a cover. Kozlov kicks out at two, and Sheamus uses some rather Orton-like knee drops to the skull. Kozlov then grabs Sheamus and head butts his chest, going for the cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Sheamus fights back and hits the Brogue kick for the win.
Sheamus wins via pinfall.
Sheamus then gets Santino’s hand under his boot and steps back, only for Santino to scurry out of the ring. Sheamus follows him, and Santino offers Sheamus candy in exchange for safety, then offers to give him money. Sheamus drops the money and continues to stalk Santino. Santino then offers him the credit card, and Sheamus chucks that too. Santino then offers to write Sheamus a check, but Sheamus shoves him backward, and then kicks his stomach. Sheamus lifts Santino, and gets ready to hit the Irish curse, only for Morrison to come to his rescue, kicking Sheamus in the stomach and head. Santino trumpets the fact that he’s okay, and Morrison watches him.
Truth walks up to Orton backstage and Truth says that he’s cool with Orton, but he and Cena are friends. Truth says that he doesn’t like what he saw, and he thinks that Cena’s already made up his mind. Truth says that Cena’s not going to let himself get fired, and he has a funny feeling that Cena’s gonna count Barrett victorious. Orton says that tonight, he’s going to make Truth his tag-team partner. Cena and Orton have never gotten along, but Orton wants to see how he treats his friends. Orton says that tonight, they’re going to find out that Cena doesn’t have any friends.
<COMMERCIAL>
@seraphalexiel Obviously, Truth’s new gimmick is Danny Glover. More hood, less awards
@Niki_Sushi Its a shameful thing, lost my shorts! Too much sun, too much sun! #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes When the Hell did R-Truth become Dr. Phil of the Raw locker room? Stop being an instigator, Truth. #wwe
@ThingsColeSays Hey Truth, who is Wade Barriet?
@FrankWWEClown “Odds are I will eventually throw up…….IN YOUR FACE.” –Santino #WWE #RAW
@bethsharae I’m not entirely positive that R-Truth speaks the English language.
Mark Henry is on the phone with PeeWee and says that things aren’t the same since Evan got hurt, because he’s not just his tag partner, but his friend too. PeeWee says that he felt the same thing with a splinter, and I don’t know what he’s talking about. Henry turns around and says it’s a great story, but he still has to find a tag partner, which is why he’s there to see him. Herman says he’d be glad to be his tag partner. Henry says that Herman is just the man to give him a big hug, and Henry crushes him. Herman says that he knows what may cheer him up, and that’s Diva Twister. The Bellas, Melina, an Eve. Dear, God.
PeeWee says he’s taking some time off from his Broadway show – the PeeWee Herman show – for plenty of surprises, and Lita shows up!, joining them for Twister.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes Thank gawd they introduced the Divas because this segment had *PAUSE* written all over it. #wwe
@kickoutblog Ya know, as much as I love Pee-Wee, it’s probably a really bad idea to play Twister with him. Just sayin.
OH, RADIO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!
Well, Joe, you got part of a Ryder entrance!! That counts, right?
Zack Ryder vs Ezekiel Jackson
Ryder gets a small advantage, and Jackson takes that away without even blinking. Big Zeke wins.
Ezekiel Jackson wins via pinfall.
The main event is going to be Orton and Truth against Barrett and Otunga with Cena as special guest ref!
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Zack Ryder, meet your new pimp. Be sure to shave your legs and wax your bikini line; clients don’t like that shit.
@kickoutblog Ow, Ow, Ow… you know it! #BigZekeWillBreakYou
… PeeWee came out… but now I’m terrified.
Tonight’s secret word is ring. Apparently, we’re supposed to do something. And King is too excited about this. Scream, of course. I must have erased that from my memory. And I totally did just put arrested… Freudian slip.
AWESOME!
Cole welcome us to Miz-ville, and I want to punch him. PeeWee’s making some kind of noise in the mic as Miz climbs into the ring.
Miz says he thought RAW losing at Bragging Rights was the lowest point of the show, but he was wrong. Miz doesn’t like PeeWee – though Riley does – and he always liked He-Man. PeeWee asks why he doesn’t marry He-Man. Miz tells him to get out of the ring, and everyone screams. Riley tells him not to say the secret word, and Miz says that he doesn’t care about the secret word, and he wants PeeWee out of his ring – cue screaming. Miz says that he’s not a cultural icon, just a pathetic excuse for a man. Miz and PeeWee proceed to fight like kindergartners, and Riley says he’ll handle it, but Riley gets in PeeWee’s face and Miz has to stop him. Miz asks if PeeWee is stupid, and says that he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Miz doesn’t care who PeeWee is, and asks if PeeWee wants him to beat him into a pulp, and PeeWee says that he’s shaking, and that PeeWee is starting to get angry. He’s a loner and a rebel. PeeWee says that they should not anger the P. He got his cousin backstage, and Miz mocks him a little bit. Miz says that’s so funny he forgot to laugh, and to bring his cousin and the whole Herman family, because he will destroy them all. PeeWee says that he’ll be out there to wipe the smirk off his face.
WELL, It’s a Big Show!
Show comes out in a PeeWee imitation suit, and I die a little inside. Show double clotheslines Miz and Riley out of the ring and picks PeeWee up. Pee Wee asks if they had a nice trip out of the ring.
“Miz, you’re not getting out of this so easy. You said you’d beat anyone in PeeWee’s family, well, tonight’s secret word is pain. Because you’re going to face PeeWee Herman’s cousin, the big PeeWee, next.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog If Big Show does the Pee-wee Tequila dance, I might have to stop watching wrestling since nothing will ever top that.
@HitTheRopes Okay, who came in and changed the channel. I could have sworn I was tuning in to watch WRESTLING. #wwe
@Niki_Sushi Oh fuck me. This is…. this is horrifying. Even Miz looks embarrassed for Show.
@RingsideRants Jesus, I miss wrestling. #WWE #RIPWrestling
@KKonvictionCom Oh it’s Pee-Wee. Hide yo kids, hide you wives, hide your husbands…cuz he’s rapin errbody up in hurr.
The Miz vs The Big Pee Wee Show
Show dominates Miz, which just hurts my heart even more than- no, less than that last segment. Show Irish Whips Miz, who ducks out of the ring for a moment, climbing back in the ring. Show then returns to dominating Miz, which we all know is because of his movie (alright, alright, I’ll stop being a fangirl. xP), and steps down on Miz’s throat, though Miz comes back, ducking under a clothesline and getting some hits to Show’s knee. Show comes back with a hard hit to Miz, then flips him onto the ground and hits a hard elbow drop. Show goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz looks a little dizzy, but continues to kick at Show’s knee, alternating between his head and knee. Miz hits a dropkick on Show’s knee, finally getting him down to his knees. Miz then gets Show in a headlock, holding it there tight. Show stands up, but Miz holds on, paying for it as Show falls backwards. Miz and Show both make their way to their feet, Show regaining momentum. Show climbs up to the second rope, watching Riley, and then dropping backward, only for Miz to roll out of the way. Miz then goes for the cover, but Show throws him into the ref. Miz attacks Show while he’s down, kicking him in the face before hitting some hard hits and going up to the top rope, aiming to knock Show down again. Miz goes up again, dropping his knuckles on Show’s head, once, and then doing it again for a third time. He goes for the cover, but Show throws him off again. Miz gets Show in a headlock, holding on tight once again. Show struggles to get up to his feet, flipping Miz off him and then clotheslining Miz once, twice, and Irish Whipping Miz and then throwing him over his back. Show makes a train noise and then runs across the ring, getting Miz set up for the choke slam, but Riley distracts Show, who uses the briefcase and gets disqualified.
The Big Show wins via disqualification.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Stand up for WWE, Celebrity Edition.>
Backstage, Cena is talking to Barrett. Barrett says after Cena raises his hand in victory, he wants Cena to clean his locker room: Sweep, mop, and then scrub Barrett’s back. Cena looks over and sees Otunga. Otunga says that Cena won’t be scrubbing Barrett’s back, because he’ll be raising Otunga’s hand. Otunga has more talent than anyone in Nexus, and more than Cena. Yeah, okay, Otunga.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar John Cena’s also gonna shave Wade Barrett’s back and Barrett will purr like a Walrus
@kickoutblog Pee-wee + Big Show + The Miz = wrestling gold
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Goldust and Aksana get married tomorrow night on NXT.>
That may have been a commercial, but it made me grin. Remember, DiBiase has a personal vendetta against Goldust for stealing Daddy’s belt. Which means daddy’s more pissed off.
Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Daniel Bryan
DiBiase starts to get an advantage, but Daniel eats his advantage with his feet. … I don’t know what that meant either. Anyway, Maryse walks over to Cole and says something, and Cole says that he’ll let us know. DiBiase tries to get the advantage away from Bryan, and does so after a hard fight. He gets Bryan in the middle of the ring, holding Bryan in a headlock. Maryse looks like she’s got something in mind, so keep an eye on her Bryan, and not a creepy one. Bryan attempts a LaBell lock in mid-air, but turns it into a cover, twice, and DiBiase kicks out both times. Alright, that staircase flip thing off the ropes was impressive. Bryan pounds the mat as he avoids DiBiase, getting pumped up, and then kicks DiBiase in the chest once, twice, three, four, five, six times. DiBiase counters a jump into a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. DiBiase gets behind Bryan and tries for Dream Street, but Bryan gets him in the LaBell Lock, and DiBiase taps.
Daniel Bryan wins via submission.
DiBiase freaks out on Maryse and says that he can’t concentrate and he needs his title back.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! #LeBellLock
@TheWWETweeter AHAHAH!! David Otunga just said he’s the most talented guy in @TheNexusWWE!! That was hilarious!! ..Oh wait.. He wasn’t kidding..? #WWE #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar #umad Ted. Its Daniel Bryan, there’s nothing you can do
Damn it. LayCool is here. I mean… No, that’s what I meant.
McCool says that she feels that LayCool got off on the wrong foot with everyone and she doesn’t care. They apologize for hurting the WWE Universe. They just need a fresh start, and the more they give, the more people take it the wrong way. Natalya, for example, is what they call special. She’s Canadian, and they’re going to be nice. They say that they’re going to give Natalya another chance at Survivor Series if she beats McCool tonight, but she won’t do that because they’re the best there was, is, and ever will be.
Diva’s Champion Michelle McCool vs Natalya
I really thought Cole was going to say it was time for the most exciting sixty seconds of RAW. I was going to cry a little as I laughed myself to death. Anyway, Natalya gets a pretty good start, but McCool yanks it away from her and beats the shit out of her for a while. Just when it looks like Natalya can’t get back in it, Natalya steals an advantage back and throws McCool into Layla, then moves out of the way so that McCool kicks Layla, and then sneaks a pin in there for the victory.
Natalya wins via pinfall.
We see a heart monitor beeping, and then Freddie Prinze Jr comes up, and says that the someone’s still in a coma, and he’s going to miss the election. Then, we see it’s Vince McMahon?!
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Michelle’s weave met some chlorine, apparently. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Look out, women are actually wrestling on WWE TV. #SignsofApocalypse
@CawCawBang THERE’S NO TIME OUT IN WRESTLING!!!!!
@BrdWrstlngFn As much as I can’t stand these two – I love the gimmick. It works.
@ThingsColeSays Oh God. That can’t be good.
@FrankWWEClown Aw, Layla is crying. How dare you Natalya. #WWE #RAW
@YourBoyDrew Vince..I just saw you at the appreciation show, what happened within that one day? Haha
Freddie talks to Vince and says that at least Linda comes over to visit, and she’s dedicated, even though she spent $50 million on a campaign. I was right. This is the obligatory Linda for Senate segment!! Now Freddie has to break the news that Taker was buried, Nexus is stronger than ever, Cena’s in Nexus, Paul Bearer’s back, Goldust is getting married, and RAW’s being taken over by PeeWee Herman. Vince says next, Freddie’s going to tell him Bryan is US Champion. Right on the money, Vince. Vince pulls off all the stuff keeping him hooked p and says that he has to go to the bathroom. Then again, if his wife can run for Senate, he can run to be the President. Oh, dear God. There’s a Blumenthal sign on Vince’s butt.
Stephanie suddenly shoots up in bed and says that she had the weirdest dream. She asks Triple H to make sure her dad’s still in a coma, and he says yes, and Thank God.
BRRRRRRRRRRRR What the hell is Creative on tonight?
Wade Barrett and David Otunga vs Randy Orton and R-Truth with Special Guest Referee John Cena
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes With the Blumenthal poster on his keister, WWE gave both candidates time in that segment. LOL
@RingsideRants Stay classy, Vince.
@kickoutblog Okay, Vince waking up after hearing his wife spent $50 million was pretty funny. Not digging the free Linda ads though.
@seraphalexiel D: I hate politics too. Go away
@CawCawBang Mr. Mcmahon is Mr. Krabs
@FrankWWEClown Cena would make a great ref if he wasn’t a Superstar, he just pulled out the tag ropes for this match. So vital. Eat that, Chioda. #WWE
@Lunna1969 Super Cena don’t look right in black and white stripes…
@KeepItFiveStar If John Cena destroys R-Truth I will love him for life
@ThingsColeSays Vince McMahon has lost his damn mind.
Otunga and Orton start out, locking up in the middle of the ring. Otunga backs Orton into a corner and beats on Orton for a while. Orton gets out, and hits a shoulder block on Otunga, getting him to his knees before kicking him in the stomach. He then Irish Whips Otunga and runs into an elbow. Otunga tags in Barrett, who gets a clothesline from Orton as he gets in. Cena gets Orton off of Barrett and Barrett takes advantage and rolls Orton up, only for Orton to kick out at two. It happens again, but Barrett tags in Otunga, who eats a scoop slam. Orton and Barrett lock eyes, and Orton drops his knee in Otunga’s face, then follows him out of the ring. Cena tells them to get back in the ring, and Orton goes to throw Otunga into the steps, only for Otunga to reverse it and throw Orton in. Cena tells Otunga to get Orton back in, and he does. Otunga goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Otunga tags in Barrett, who immediately begins stomping on Orton. Barrett gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton gets to his feet and gives Barrett a very hard throw to the mat. Both men are down and work toward their corners, Otunga and Truth tagged in. Truth hits a hard, two hard elbows on Otunga, then throws Otunga down. Otunga Irish Whips Truth, who jumps off the corner and does his fancy dance moves, and goes for a cover, only for Otunga to kick out at two. Truth throws Otunga into the ropes, and Barrett is tagged in. Barrett goes for the cover, but Truth kicks out at two. Barrett Whips Truth into the corner, and Barrett hits a back breaker. Barrett lifts Truth and punches him in the face, then going up to the second rope and missing an elbow drop as Truth moves out of the way. Both men are down, again. Truth tags Orton, but Cena never saw the tag due to Otunga climbing into the ring and distracting Cena. Barrett drags Truth over to their corner and the Barrett tags Otunga in. Otunga slams Truth onto the mat and hits an elbow drop, going for a cover only for Truth to kick out at two. Otunga tags in Barrett, Cena kicks Otunga to the apron, and Barrett beats Truth up a little. Otunga goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out at two, then puts Truth in a headlock. Truth fights back, and the two of them are down in the center of the ring after a double cross body. Otunga tags in Barrett, but Cena misses it because Orton distracts him. As Cena yells at Barrett, Orton hits the RKO on Otunga and takes Barrett out of the ring. Truth then gets the pin on Otunga.
R-Truth and WWE Champion Randy Orton win via pinfall.
For some reason, Truth’s music changes to Randy’s. The sound guys probably realized that playing Orton’s music made more sense since Orton really got them the victory. Either way, we end RAW with an epic staredown between Orton, Barrett, and Cena.
Overall, not a bad RAW, if you take away the scary ass PeeWee segments. See ya next week, ladies and gentlemen.
Originally, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to catch this RAW, due to homework, but I managed to just miss about 18 minutes of it. I’m sure RAW will more than make up. Anyway, basically all that happened during that block I missed was that Cena and Otunga lost the WWE Tag Team Championships to Gabriel and Slater. Awesome.
We come back from the first commercial for a WWE Rewind.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week: United States Daniel Bryan challenges Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler to a Champion vs. Champion match at Bragging Rights.>
Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlin make their way out to the ring. Vickie says that there was a blemish in Smackdown’s perfect night at Bragging Rights, and that Ziggler was cheated by shoddy officiating, and that there was a bias for RAW by the WWE referees. Ziggler is going to embarrass Bryan tonight.
Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan
Before the match even begins, CM Punk comes out.
In the ring, Ziggler gets an advantage over Bryan, and Punk joins them for commentary. Bryan takes the advantage back and gets Ziggler in the ‘surfboard’, and Ziggler manages to get out or Bryan lets him out. Ziggler goes for a cover on Bryan, but Bryan kicks out on two. Ziggler tries to keep advantage, but Bryan takes that away with a dropkick to the face, and Ziggler kicks out of the cover. Ziggler hits a low gut-kick on Bryan and Bryan flips him right out of the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes I love that @CMPunk is about to school King and Cole on announcing. #wwe
@ThingsColeSays CM Punk burying King is AWESOME!!!
@TKeep123 Here come Chuck Norris…err..I mean….Bryan Daniel. #WWE #RAW
We’re back to Bryan and Ziggler back in the ring, and Bryan takes Ziggler out with a hard clothesline. Bryan goes for the cover, but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler looks like he’s begging for mercy, and Bryan ignores him, hitting hard kicks on his abdomen. Bryan misses his first kick, but hits the second one, only for Ziggler to kick out at two. Bryan goes for the LaBell lock, but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Bryan puts Ziggler on the top rope, and hits a hurricanrana off the top, only for Ziggler to flip it into a pin, though Bryan kicks out. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Bryan gets out, and Ziggler hits what could have almost been Sweet Chin Music on Bryan. Bryan kicks out of that cover though, and Vickie screeches about the ref cheating or something. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, misses, Bryan goes for a cover, reverses into Ziggler covering Bryan, and then Bryan kicks out at two. Vickie is still screeching. Ziggler and Bryan trade moves, and then Ziggler throws Bryan, but Bryan kicks out of the cover. Ziggler goes for the sleeper again, but Bryan wonders absently around the ring, but Bryan counters into the LaBell lock, and Vickie pulls Ziggler’s foot outside the bottom rope. The ref takes his submission, Vickie freaks out, and the ref basically says that that’s too bad and keeps his decision the same.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via submission.
Bryan’s enjoying his victory, and Ziggler slips back into the ring, but then flees when Bryan turns around.
Last night, Smackdown beat RAW again. Boo.
Later tonight, John Cena will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton, and the winner decides the special guest referee for their next match (or… Barrett and Orton decide).
<COMMERCIAL>
@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay, Bravo #WWE Good match w/ Punk as a God on commentary
@CawCawBang LMAO! I love CM Punk’s brutal honesty
@TKeep123 Ziggler’s gonna get callouses from tapping so much! #WWE #RAW
The guest star tonight is country megastar, Toby Keith.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: WWE In Your Corner: WWE Wrestlemania Reading Challenge.>
Toby Keith gives a copy of his albums to the Bellas, and they give him a Championship belt. Santino comes up, dressed like a cowboy. He said that when he came to America, it was all pop, and now it’s country and western. He then sings a song of sorts that he wrote. I’ll try to find these lyrics later, alright? It is funny. Toby tells him to keep his night job, and then Sheamus comes up.
Sheamus mocks Santino, of course, and says that Santino embarrassed his team last night, but Sheamus is going to give him an opportunity to prove he’s not worthless. He challenges him TONIGHT! Santino says he’s on. Sheamus then tells Santino he’d better show up. Santino then asks Toby if he thinks Sheamus was ‘for really’.
Cena walks up and yells at Barrett, who calls him out for finding a loophole last night. The only reason Cena’s still employed, is because Barrett is allowing it. If he tells Cena to make a cup of coffee, be silent, or lay down to give up a championship, then he’s gonna do it. Cena says that for the last few weeks he’s been trying to hold onto something he loves, but he can’t do it anymore. Fired, quit, it’s the same damn thing, and it beats working for Barrett. Barrett tells him to hold on, and that he may have a solution. If Cena beats Orton tonight, Barrett will make him an offer that will benefit both of them.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Santino still looks less ridiculous than Toby Keith usually does.
@inkincisions Please. Someone, anyone, get in that ring, and wrestle!
@thinksojoe Best. Country. Song. Ever! #BWF
@TKeep123 Cowboy crooner Santino Morella! Fear The Cobra! #WWE #RAW
@HitTheRopes The Bellas doing what they do best, standing next to the guest star….. Wait, wasn’t there some kinda dysfunction between them? #wwe
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Slam of the Week: LayCool mocks The Harts on Smackdown.>
LayCool vs Melina and Gail Kim
Melina goes straight for McCool, then dominates Layla. Melina goes for a cover on Layla, who kicks out. The two switch each other around, and then Layla knocks Gail off the apron, and they hit each other mid-ring with a cross body. Layla tags in Michelle, but Melina didn’t see it and takes a boot to the face and a cover for the win.
LayCool win via pinfall.
Short ass Diva’s match? Check!
Lawler tells us not to wear a WWE T-shirt when you go to vote next Tuesday.
Miz and Riley make their way to the ring, and Cole says Miz is going to read the Riot Act to the rest of the team.
<COMMERCIAL>
@divadirt Michelle pins Melina after a big boot and it’s all over in 1 minute. Yay(!) [/sarcasm] #WWE
@CawCawBang Does this mean we get to see psycho Miz again?
AWESOME!
Wheeeeeeee, Miz~! I haven’t done it in a while. Just… let me have a moment.
Okay, moment over.
Miz says he’s accomplished more in his career than everyone in this arena can dream of achieving in their entire lives. No matter how superior he is to everyone in the arena or the locker room, he is not a miracle worker. Last night, he endured adversity, overcame hardship, he lasted longer than any Superstar on RAW, but they still failed against Smackdown. If the WWE Superstars had a fraction of the talent that he possessed, the Bragging Rights trophy would be on Monday Night RAW. But his talent doesn’t just speak volumes. It screams ‘AWESOME’. That’s why he’s a leader. That’s why he’s the captain, and that’s why tomorrow, the poster child of THQ’s Smackdown vs RAW 2011 is none other than him. The Miz joins Cena and the Big Show on the cover of the game. Miz says that if they really wanted to make some money, then the cover should have just consisted of him. The RAW team should have just consisted of seven Miz’, instead of one Miz and six losers. If those people understand anything, understand this: he blames his team, he blames Smackdown, he blames Rey Mysterio, and if Rey wants to come over there, he’s putting out the challenge. Step right up over to RAW, next week, he doesn’t care. The reason people watch RAW is because of him. Because he’s the Miz and he’s the only person on the RAW roster that can honestly say that I’M AWESOME!
Eve comes out after his speech and makes her way into the ring, and Miz even holds the ropes apart for her. Miz says that Eve is there to apologize on behalf of all the Divas, but she doesn’t have to. She should, instead, be apologizing for her horrific taste in men, music, and hair extensions that don’t match. She says she didn’t come out to apologize. He needs to be worried about the fact that everyone in the locker room, arena, WWE Universe thinks he’s a… bunch of words here, loser. Miz asks if they all really think he’s a frog-faced loser, and I disagree. :3 Anyway… Miz says that the Packers aren’t going to the SuperBowl, so they’re all losers as well. As for Eve, Miz finds it amusing that the Superstars sent out a Diva to insult him. Eve says that she knows what he’s going to say and he’s quite possibly the furthest thing from awesome she’s ever seen, and he’s ugly. Riley says for her to shut the front door. Riley says that he doesn’t speak Gucci, but the reason the rest of the RAW team isn’t out there is because they’re all tip-toeing their way toward unemployment, and the Miz could have beat any of those slackers by himself. So, why doesn’t Eve take that little switch in her walk back to the back and find out if anyone in the team wants to take a piece out of the captain.
Truth comes out, thus ruining a few nights on Twitter. I wish he’d stop rapping though, I really would… God, I almost miss him screaming ‘What’s Up?’ at me… and yes, Cole, Santino’s singing was better.
Truth says slackers was a bit harsh. Anybody wanna piece of Miz? Truth would like to have a piece of Mr. Kermit. Don’t get mad because what Eve said is the truth, and they all know the truth hurts. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t have a problem showing Miz that the truth hurts. God, this is corny.
“Ding ding ding.”
The Miz vs R-Truth
Miz misses a clothesline, and Truth takes advantage, knocking Miz out of the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@WWEsAngel_Nef Is it just m or is Eve channeling some serious Dixie Carter right now? #WWE
@dasharpshooters: The Miz should Choke that bitch. STFU EVE! #wwe #raw
@StrikerSays For a minute, though, I was REALLY hoping for an intergender match.
@kickoutblog All those pansies in the Raw locker room had to send a woman to trash talk Captain Awesome.
@inkincisions LMFAO. Alex Riley. OMG. This segment has made my night. “OH YOU FANCY HUH!?”
@CawCawBang get back in the kitchen woman
@divadirt Miz says Eve should be sorry for her ‘extensions that don’t quite match’. You got served! #WWE
@TKeep123 I love Eve and she’s a trained dancer, model, cheerleader, etc, but when she dances to Truth’s rap…it’s just sooo bad. #WWE #RAW
Miz has Truth in a headlock as we return, getting momentum back with a big boot to the head. Truth goes for a roll-up, but Miz kicks out at two, and then pummels Truth’s head. Miz goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out. Miz gets advantage again, but Truth fights back, countering in mid-air and going for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz gets Truth in the corner and beats on him until the ref pulls him away. Miz then hits the swinging corner clothesline and goes for a cover again, only for Truth to kick out again. Miz gets him to his feet and then puts him on the top turnbuckle. Miz tries for a suplex, but Truth holds steady and knocks Miz off. Miz runs into Truth’s foot, and Truth jumps over him, hitting some hard hits on Miz before Miz counters with a kick to the gut. Truth then hits a vicious clothesline and keeps his momentum going. Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth slams his elbow into Miz and ducks under a clothesline, hitting some weird move on Miz, and going for a cover. Miz kicks out at two, and Miz is outside on the apron. Truth knocks him right into the announce table. Truth then shoves Miz into the ring, and Riley shoves Truth into the apron. Eve walks over and slaps Riley. In the ring, Miz goes to suplex Truth, but Truth manages to get on his face. Truth then takes Riley out outside the ring, and goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth tries to hit Lie Detector, but Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale.
The Miz wins via pinfall.
Miz blows Eve a kiss after the match, getting some attitude back, of course.
Still to come, Cena takes on Orton.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar That’s R-Truth’s signature move, looking up a the lights, flatback.
Tonight’s guest star is Toby Keith, and he happens to be the special guest referee for the next match. The Bellas need to learn how to dance to country music. Seriously… and get off him, you whores. He’s too important to get herpes from you two.
Honestly… I’m a fan of Toby Keith (born and raised listening to him), but I don’t know what he’s saying, to be honest.
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head…
Sheamus vs Santino Marella
I love Santino. He just poked his head out from behind the lights there. Santino seems reluctant, but Toby Keith works on getting him in the ring. Santino managed to get one quick shot in before Sheamus decided to massacre him for his mistake. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick, and Santino literally just flops onto his butt. John Morrison runs out and tells the ref something, falling on his butt again when Sheamus goes for another Brogue Kick. Sheamus went for another Brogue Kick, but ended up getting his feet all caught up in the ropes, and Santino capitalizes with a pin. He and John Morrison flee up the ring.
Santino Marella wins via miracle pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Toby Keith told Santino that Sheamus is no longer Triple H’s gym buddy.
@TKeep123 Toby Keith can’t keep his eyes open? OH, that’s right, protecting them from the Sheamus glow! #WWE #RAW
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Stand Up For WWE.>
More video packages, less wrestling. Totally makes sense.
Gabriel and Slater take pride in their title win. Otunga, on the other hand, wants to talk to Barrett and looks pretty pissed. Otunga asks why he had to go through that. Barrett says that he’s sorry he feels that way. Otunga says that since he couldn’t win last night, Barrett made him lay down. Otunga says that he may be a little pissed and may decide to tell everyone why they really attacked Taker last night. McGuillicutty and Harris come in wearing Nexus shirts, and Barrett says that they’re members, and while he understands Otunga’s frustrations, Otunga is either Nexus or against us, and he needs to make that choice right now. Otunga glares at them all, and then says he’s Nexus. Barrett says he’s pleased about that and for Otunga to keep up the excellent work. I wonder where they found enough fab- okay, no fat jokes. I’m sorry.
Next up, Cena vs Orton.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar “I was in prison watching the WWE because the inmates used to watch the show to get ideas on how to-” – MVP
@HitTheRopes Hey, Stand Up for WWE ad, I visited China…town! Chinatown, dammit! #wwe
@kickoutblog Okay, Stand Up for WWE is lame, but this promo is pretty damn cool.
@ThingsColeSays OK, I actually like this video package. I know it’s got ulterior motives, but it’s different.
Oh, dear God… Next week, Pee Wee Herman is the guest host… I may avoid RAW next week… He makes me twitchy.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, EVE!
John Cena vs WWE Champion Randy Orton
Cena and Orton part seven million and forty-five starts now! … I love all their matches though, I’ll be honest.
Orton and Cena lock up, Cena getting Orton in a headlock, but Orton fights out of it and takes Cena down with a hard shoulder. Cena ducks a blow from Orton and gets him in another head lock. Cena gets out, but Cena hits a hard shoulder knockdown on Orton. They lock up yet again, but Cena backs Orton into a corner, then they run across the ring, and Orton counters Cena’s usual bulldog, hurling Cena across the ring. Orton gets the momentum and holds onto it, sparing Barrett a glance before focusing back on Cena. Cena launches himself at Orton, but Orton drops onto the mat and ducks under it, sending Cena right out of the ring. Barrett sneaks up on Orton from behind, but Orton catches him, and hits him, sending him scampering backward.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi @RandyOrton , why do you look like you were sculpted to make the Greek’s jealous?
@KeepItFiveStar Wade Barrett is doing the Smackdown vs RAW Manager bit. Just walk out while the person does their entrance.
We come back to Orton holding the momentum still, Cena fighting out of his headlock. Cena pulls Orton onto his shoulders, but Orton plants Cena face-first onto the mat first. Orton goes for a cover, but Cena powers out at two. Orton hits Cena with some hard hits to the face. Orton flings Cena into the corner, and Cena lifts his boot. Cena then hits a series of shoulder blocks on Orton and then drops him to the ground, calling for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, giving the You Can’t See Me to Barrett, before hitting it on Orton. Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, Orton attempts RKO, Cena attempts STF, and Orton hits a scoop slam. There was stuff in between, but it was moving fast. Orton glances at Barrett, and Orton pulls Cena into the ring, but Cena avoids the DDT and plants Orton outside the ring. Barrett goes to help, but Cena shoves him head over heels away from Orton. Orton and Cena exchange blows outside the ring, and then Cena throws Orton into the ring. Cena climbs onto the top turnbuckle and hits a leg drop on Orton. Cena goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Orton gets up, Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, and Orton wiggles free. Orton gets back into the ring and Cena locks in the STF. Orton is inching toward the ropes, but Barrett pulls the rope back, and Cena gets up in his face. They argue whether Cena should listen to Barrett or win the match. Cena gets back in the ring, and Orton hits a drop kick on him. Orton then hits his DDT on Cena, dropping to the mat and pounding in preparation for the RKO. Cena inches up to his feet, Orton watches him closely, and misses the RKO. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment instead and Orton manages to kick out at two. Cena gets Orton back up, but Orton hits an RKO on Cena, who rolled out of the ring. Orton rolls out of the ring to Cena and pulls him up and shoves him back into the ring, rolling back in himself. Orton gets to his feet and backs into a corner, but Barrett pulls Cena out and clotheslines Cena.
Jon Cena wins via disqualification.
Randy attacks Barrett from behind after the disqualification. Nexus runs to the ring and starts to take Orton out. Cena, on the other hand, fights Nexus back, and Barrett yells at them all to stop, and tells Nexus to get out of the ring. Barrett tells Cena well done, and that he gets to choose the special guest referee for his match with Orton at Survivor Series. His ref will be Cena. Barrett says that Cena will be an impartial referee, but if Barrett doesn’t win the championship at Survivor Series, he’ll fire Cena on the spot. When Barrett wins the WWE Championship, Cena will be relieved of any and all responsibilities to the Nexus. Cena looks like he can’t believe it, Orton looks pissed, and Cole poetically says that Orton is screwed. Way to take the words out of my mouth, Cole. Way to go.
What will Cena do? What will Orton do? WHAT WILL I DO?! There’s RAW. Til next week.
I haven’t been voting the last couple of weeks, for whatever reason, and I apologize for not getting the poll up here on BWF last week, but here we go with this week’s!
1. Wade Barrett (Last week: 1)
Abusing his power over John Cena and The Nexus and utterly destroying the WWE Champion leaves Wade Barrett number one on the Power Poll for the second straight week.
2. Big Show (NR)
The Big Show led the entire SmackDown roster into RAW and led them to victory (along with Edge) over the RAW roster in a battle royal. Huge momentum for the World’s Largest Athlete heading into Bragging Rights on Sunday.
3. Randy Orton (3)
The Viper teamed with John Cena to defeat Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, but his failure to fight off The Nexus after the match leaves Randy Orton at number 3.
4. Edge (9)
So much for Smurfette – Edge saved The Big Show from certain elimination and helped win the battle royal for Team SmackDown Monday night.
5. The Miz (2)
Having the testicular fortitude to face The Big Show in a one on one matchup and then lasting as long as he did in the battle royal probably didn’t do as much for The Miz’s standing on the Poll as his Smurfy promo against Team SmackDown.
6. Kane (4)
The Big Red Monster was nowhere to be found Monday Night when SmackDown invaded RAW, but neither was his brother The Undertaker, so I suppose that’s not that surprising. As long as he is the World Champion, it seems Kane has a spot in the top 10. Will that continue after the buried alive match?
7. John Cena (6)
Cena’s subservience to Wade Barrett continues to push him further down the Power Poll. What I don’t get is why Cena looked upset Monday Night while the rest of Nexus destroyed his long time rival Randy Orton. Oh well.
8. Jeff Hardy (5)
It goes to show that as long as you’re a World Champion, you’re likely to be on the Power Poll. Of course, Hardy, despite slipping this week, is still riding that wave of momentum that winning a title will get you in this voting process. We’ll see what he does on iMPACT this week and see where he winds up on next week’s poll.
9. Undertaker (NR)
All the Undertaker has to do is make an appearance, and it seems that he’ll make the Power Poll. That’s the power of the Phenom.
10. Daniel Bryan (NR)
The WWE United States Champion made the WWE Intercontinental Champion tap out Monday on RAW, and then busted a move with the smart, sexy, and powerful WWE Divas. Bragging rights are on the line this Sunday!
