The BWF Radio crew have their first LIVE broadcast, as we started airing live on our official Mixlr page! We recap all of the wrestling shows, give our Money In The Bank predictions, and talk wrestling news! Who’s to blame in the DirecTV/Viacom dispute? Does Kharma still have a job? Has WWE really signed Pac? How many matches has John Cena lost this year? Will the BWF Radio crew Tout the WWE? Where’s Charlie Sheen? All this and much, much more, right here on BoredWrestlingFan Radio!
Yes, it’s the “Go Home” show for Money in the Bank this Sunday on PPV. And the whole damn product revolves around one thing… not the laptop, nor the Smackdown GM getting his Christmas Wish granted with the ability to speak (even though he was over in December…. shh! We are supposed to forget that!).
Yes, one character seems to have taken over in a illogical way. No, not Double A (that’s the “good” product). We’re one year out from the “Summer of Punk II” shtick. Wow. This is not your Ten Year Old’s WWE. RIght Mr. Cena?
Oh yeah, remember that Zach Ryder guy? No? Me neither, but it appears he is the GM for Smackdown. Turns out the computer is more popular in the WWE’s opinion. YAWN. Oh well, here’s the magical picture part of the review and the “hopping” reference:
We open w/a recap of last week’s main event, when AJ put the WWE heavyweight champion and his no.1 contender through a table. We get a bonus recap of the double make-out on Smackdown.
Live @ the Pepsi Center in Denver and we open with “the most controversial figure in the WWE today,” AJ in the ring.
CROWD: YES! YES! YES!
AJ is “overwhelmed” and “very emotional” over the realization that her actions as special guest ref @ Money in The Bank in the WWE championship can “greatly affect the outcome.”
SIDE NOTE: DUH
With that in mind, she asks us to welcome WWE champion CM Punk.
We open with a look back at last weeks RAW, when the Big Show left John Cena laying in the ring.
Michale Cole reminds us that this is show#997 and in three weeks we make it to show 1000! Lawler and Cole remind us that Money in The Bank is two weeks away.
Cena makes his entrance and the crowd goes wild (yea.) Cole and Lawler remind us Cena will be in his first ever MiTB ladder match with Show, Kane and Jericho.
Cena COULD come down vowing to turn into some vengful manimal like Dr. Johnathon Chase, but NOOOOO. He wants to THANK Show/Jericho. Jericho said Cena needed to prepare for anything that can happen. Last week was a crash course in Mitb. You have no friends, only enimies. Cena needs to be prepared for everything, from giants, singers, tables, ladders, chairs, monsters, to flying bodyparts. He promises two things will happen after MiTB…
1. Show will go home an empty handed sewage baby.
2. Cena will cash in the MiTB contract to become WWE champion.
Cue Daniel Bryan: YES! YES! YES!
Bryan didn’t even realize Cena was out there. Cena isn’t relevant to him. Wait, that’s not entirely true, because after MiTB, Bryan will be the new WWE champion; and if Cena does get the contract, he will be the first to cash it in and lose. Cena can think of at least one person who disagrees.
Cue CM Punk:
Actually John, Puk can think of a lot more than that.
Does He disagree w/Daniel? Yes!
Does John disagree w/Daniel? Yes!
Does Jerry Lawler disagree w/Daniel? YES!
Does the guy selling popcorn disagree w/Daniel? YES!
So does the crowd, and Punk leads the “YES” chant until Bryan demands someone come up with an original thought. Punk reminds Bryan that AJ will be guest ref for their title match, and will count his shoulders down for three. How’s that for original?
Punk turns to Cena and says if he wins MiTB, it’ll be down to him and Punk again.
Cue JERICHO!
That’s not an original thought Punk, here’s one; you’re still a wannabe. Punk tells Bryan not to worry about people stealing catch-phrases, it happens to him all the time.
“No offense, Mr. Best in the world.” – Jericho
“None taken, Mr. Bon Jovi.” CM Punk
He suggests Bryan try using more than one catch-phrase. Bryan tries to interupt but…
“Will You Please SHUT THE HELL UP!” – Jericho
“And let me welcome you to RAW IS JERICHO!” -Jericho
“And after tonight, none of you in this ring will ever… EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHVAH, be the same agayn.” – Jericho
Since Jericho INVENTED this match, he’s going to win it, and dares anyone to tell him otherwise.
Cue Kane
“Otherwise” – Kane
WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL it’s the Big Show!
Cena gets ready for Show, Bryan gets him from the back, and a huge but quick brawl ends with Big Show standing.
COMMERCIAL
DID YOU KNOW? When MNR made it’s debut in 1993:
KIm Kardashian – 12 yrs old
Rihanna – 4
Miley Cyrus – 2 months
Beiber – NOT BORN YET.
Me – Just waiting to die.
Chrlie Sheen will be special guest celebrity social media ambassador. #SheenGetsRaw.
PRIME TIME PLAYERS/DAVID OTUNGA/CODY RHODES vs. KOFI KINGSTON/R-TRUTH/U.S. CHAMPION SANTINO MORELLA/INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION CHRISTIAN
Basic 8 man tag with a few highspots by Kofi. We have a standoff on the outside as we go to
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Cody in control while AW cheers on his clients with his headset set for all to hear. Kofi tags in Santino who owns Otunga. AW pulls his men out of the match and call it a night. Then CODY bails on Otunga while Brodus Clay makes his way out. Everyone gets a turn tossing Otunga back into the ring, and Santion scores a COBRA! for a three count.
After a killswitch/splash combo on Otunga, we get the obligatory dance party w/kiddies and the girls.
Backstage, ALBERTO DEL RRRRRRRRRRRRRIO tries to score brownie points w/tonights interm GM Teddy Long. He tries to convince Teddy to make him no.1 contender again. Long was “axed” by the Board Of Directors to tell him they already have. Teddy made a decision of his own, to book Del Rio in a match tonight. Against who? It’s a “Teddy Long Surprise.”
COMMERCIAL
Stephanies favorite RAW recollection; her father training for the Royal Rumble during his fued w/Austin.
Cole thanks us for making RAW the longest running show in history, Lawler reminds us that on 07/23, the show goes three hours.
In the ring at this time is Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce ALBERTO DEL RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIO! ADR comes out in an expensive car as the fans chant… something less than nice (I guess) at him.
Teddy’s surprise? SIN CARA! But ADR has a surprise of his own, a running knee to the head in the middle of Cara’s entrance.
Del Rio beats Sin Cara down and gives him the arm breaker on the outside. Del Rio leaves him lying with a smirk on his face as ring personel run to his ade.
Backstage: Bryan tries to make up w/AJ and offers her a single red rose as a peace offering. AJ calls him on his bs and promises to win her match tonight and run off into the arms of who the WWE universe sees as her “soulmate.” The bit ends with AJ BITING THE HEAD OFF THE ROSE and giving Bryan back the stem.
When we come back from commercial, Paul Heyman will be with us via satellite to answer Triple H’s challenge to Brock Lesnar.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, looking at the unfolding drama between Brock Lesnar and Triple H. We see the promos from last month that end with Heyman getting laid out.
Heyman is with us LIVE via Satellite. Cole asks him will Lesnar face Triple H at SummerSlam? Heyman announces Lesnar will personally respond… in three weeks at RAW 1000. Heyman claims Triple H wants to face Lesnar at SummerSlam so he can go out “on his shield” “in a blaze of glory,” and focus on his life outside the ring. Heyman adds if the match happens…
“It’ll be a mercy killing.” – Pail Heyman
Up Next: Sheamus/AJ vs. Dolph Ziggler/Vicki Guerro
COMMERCIAL
Slam of The Week: Last week on Smackdown, Ziggler and Vicki argue, it ends w/Vicki slapping Dolph.
EXCUSE ME! Vicki introduces herself as “the most captivating, irresistable, charismatic diva to ever grace the grand stage of WWE, QUEEN DIVA – Vicki Guerrero!” She then introduces Ziggler and they make their way to the ring.
MIXED TAG MATCH: ZIGGLER/VICKI vs. AJ/SHEAMUS
We get a recap of AJ getting voted by WWE.com into a special guest ref spot at MiTB, in the Punk/Bryan WWE title match.
Sheamus is out and we get the match started. AJ goes after Vicki, but Sheamus puts her out and calms her down.
The match is pretty much what we’ve already seen so far between these two, set on fast foward. Sheamus gets set for the Brouge kick, but Ziggler tags out. Sheamus kicks Dolph out of the picture (litterally,) and AJ wraps it up with a “shining wizard” knee-lift for the three. AJ leads the crowd in a “YES” chant, and heads backstage.
AJ finds Punk on the phone and pesters him until he hangs up. She wants to know what Punk thought of her match, but Punk’s been on the phone for the last 15 minutes, he missed it. AJ leaves, hurt.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Heath Slater in the ring. We get a montage of Slater being humiliated for the past three weeks by returning legends. Slater says that’s not funny. He is not a clown!
Cue…
DOINK THE CLOWN!
Seriously, DOINK THE CLOWN!
It’s a brief, by the numbers match, but it ends with A WIN FOR SLATER!
Cue Diamond Dallas Page:
Page and Slater trade pleasantries and handshakes, until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Slater.
We get a promo for NO HOLDS BARRED, on DVD for the first time ever tomorrow.
Up Next: Kane Vs. Big Show, NO DQ!
COMMERCIAL
We come back with a video package of Cena and Alicia Fox visiting recovering troops at Walter Reed Hospital and talking up the troops.
Promo for MiTB
NO DQ: KANE VS. BIG SHOW
The match is just a slow, dull brawl. Kane and Show hit a few rough looking spots, until Show ends it with a chokeslam on a chair to Kane. Show does sell a shoulder injury, but I can’t tell if it’s legit.
Backstage: Eve is back! She tries to butter up Teddy, but just gets a name-tag for her trouble. She comes across AJ, and recomends she leave head-games to the “grown-ups” and do “what little girls do best,” and go cry in the corner. AJ gets that look in her eyes, and runs down all the options Eve has used up, promising she’ll show her how to get attention.
COMMERCIAL
Alberto Del Rio’s most memorible monday night moment? The night De-generation X “invaded” WCW.
TENSAI (w/Sakamoto) vs. TYSON KIDD
Both men will be in the MiTB match for the World’s championship contract. Tensai beats Kidd into the corner but misses a charge, and Kidd gets a schoolboy FOR A THREE COUNT!
The match is less than a minute, and Tyson gets the win! Tensai takes it out on Sakamoto and leaves him laying.
Backstage: Bryan and Jericho attempts to make nice end in shots at each others jackets and a duel of catchphrases.
Cena and Punk discuss strategy as well. Johny C agrees to listen to Punk and follow his lead. Punk doesn’t look convinced.
COMMERCIAL
Back from the break, Tyson Kidd is talking bout his big win… until Tensai jumps him from behind and beats him wihout mercy.
CHRIS JERICHO/DANIEL BRYAN vs.JOHN CENA/CM PUNK
Jericho walks out wearing the most expensive jacket he has EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHVAH worn, according to Jerry Lawler. Bryan, Punk and Cena each get their entrances, and we’re off.
The match starts out with Punk tossing Bryan around, tag to Cena who muscles Bryan out of the ring. Jericho tags in. He and Cena play it cautious, sizing each other up. Cena shoulder-blocks Jericho off the ring, into the guard rail as we go to commercial.
COMMERCIAL
We come back w/Cena trying to fight out of the enemy corner. Jericho takes over on Cena, wearing him down. Jericho misses a lion-sault, and tags in Bryan, who kicks away at Cena in the corner. Tag to Jericho, Cena (maybe) botches a suplex attempt, and Jericho stays in control, until Cena shoves Jericho chest first into the corner. Both men make a hot tag, and Punk unloads on Bryan. Cena and Jericho take it to the back, while Punk and Bryan trade kicks and jumps. Punk scores a superplex just as AJ comes out. Punk and Bryan are too busy trading shots to notice her, so AJ pulls out a table from under the ring.
AJ sets up the table on the outside, and climbs to the top rope. She looks like she’s having second thoughts. Bryan gets between her and the table to try and stop her. Punk climbs up to talk her down.
AJ plants a big kiss on Punk, AND SHOVES HIM OFF THE ROPES! Punk lands on Bryan, taking them both through the table.
RAW ends with the WWE champion and his top challenger, layed out, while a 98 lbs. girl laughs at them both.
So that’s it for tonight. Laer this week, I will attempt to bring you a recap of each match with move by move detail (no promises.) Till next time, peace and chicken grease.
ARRRGGHHHH! Despite the WWE’s insistence that this is the “25th Anniversary” of WrestleMania, that’s incorrect. It’s the 25th ANNUAL WrestleMania. WrestleMania 1 wasn’t the first ANNIVERSARY of WrestleMania, that would’ve been March 31, 1986. It was the first ANNUAL. Somebody buy the WWE marketing guys a dictionary. Anyways, screw it, let’s roll.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please, could you bring your attention to me? It’s time for day FOUR of WrestleMania week, and the FOURTH of EIGHT WrestleMania reviews going up this week. Today, I bring you the first WrestleMania I watched with my wife, which was the start of a great tradition for us, WrestleMania 23! Let’s roll!
The fun doesn’t stop because RAW is over, no sir! WWE.com awarded even more Slammys – let’s roll!
Note: I’m not sure at this point whether these actually count or not. We’re going to pretend they do.
Outstanding Achievement in Muppet Resemblance: Sheamus and Beaker.
If these count, this is Sheamus’s third Slammy. His previous wins in 2009 for “Breakout Star of the year” and in 2010 for “Superstar/Diva most in need of makeup.”
The Pee-Wee Herman Bow Tie Award: David Otunga.
This is David Otunga’s first solo Slammy. He won as part of Nexus for the 2010 Shocker of the Year for the group’s debut.
Most Predictable Outcome of the Year: Kevin Nash jackknifing Santino
This is Kevin Nash’s first Slammy.
Guess Who’s Back? Or: Return of the Year: The Rock
This would be The Rock’s third, winning the Slammy in 1997 for New Sensation, and earlier tonight for “Game Changer of the Year” with John Cena.
Double Vision Moment of the Year: The Two Sin Caras
This is the first Slammy for both Sin Cara and Hunico.
T-Shirt of the Year: CM Punk’s “Best in the World” t-shirt, of course. Half the BWF crew owns one!
Punk’s 6th Slammy. He won the 2008 OMG Moment for cashing in Money In The Bank, 2009 Shocker of the Year for beating Jeff Hardy and sending him packing, the 2010 Despicable Me award for singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter, and earlier tonight the 2011 Pipe Bomb of the Year and Superstar of the Year awards.
WWE.com Exclusive of the Year: John Laurinaitis congratulating CM Punk.
This is Laurinaitis first actual award.
Most Regrettable Ring Attire of the Year: Michael Cole in Triple H’s clothing.
This is Michael Cole’s third Slammy. His previous wins are the 2009 “Oh My” Moment of the Year for throwing up on Chris Jericho, and the 2010 “And I Quote” line of the year.
Critter Moment of the Year: The mouse that ran by Alberto Del Rio on RAW. Seriously.
Well, Justin Ruff may not be an awards show kind of guy, but I absolutely LOVE the Slammys! Luckily, I happened to have written a half-assed recap of RAW to use as reference for next Sunday’s episode of BWF Radio, so I’ll add to it a little and use it as this week’s RAW review!
We kick things off with the “Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That Moment of the Year” award, presented by Booker T and Hornswoggle. The nominees are:
Jim Ross winning the dance contest portion of the “Michael Cole Challenge.”
Santino Marella nearly winning the Royal Rumble
The Miz disguised as The Rock attacking John Cena
R-Truth getting okie-doked by Little Jimmy
The Slammy goes to: Jim Ross! Michael Cole interrupts JR’s acceptance speech, which leads to a battle rap between the two. JR flubs his lines but still manages to win. Before he leaves, Booker T convinces him to do a “JR-Roonie.”
This is Jim Ross’s first Slammy!
Mick Foley and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase present the “Holy !@#$ Moment of the Year” award. Mick wonders why Ted DiBiase is presenting the award with him. DiBiase says it’s because he’s an ordained minister. So he’s the “Holy” part. The nominees are:
Sheamus puts Sin Cara through a ladder at Money In The Bank
Randy Orton RKO’s Christian out of the air and onto the steps at SummerSlam
Evan Bourne hits “Air Bourne” on all of the other Money In The Bank participants at Money In The Bank
Mark Henry and The Big Show break the ring at Vengeance
And the winner is: The Big Show and Mark Henry. Big Show accepts the award, then heads down to the ring for his match.
This is Big Show’s second Slammy. He won the award for Tag Team of the Year in 2009 as part of Jeri-Show. This is Mark Henry’s first Slammy.
The Big Show def. Wade Barrett via Disqualification – Barrett cut a promo on the way to the ring. He tried to use a chair, but Big Show punched it out of his hand.
The Road Dogg Jesse James (yes, you read that right) presents the award for “Pipe Bomb of the Year.” Instead of actual nominees in the category, various sound clips (mostly bloopers) are played. The winner, of course, is CM Punk, who comes to the podium with a mannequin in a Dynamic Dudes t-shirt and dedicates the win to John Laurinaitis. Punk then plays a video package of Laurinaitis’ career that says “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the end. It was set to “The Touch,” which, if you’re a dork like me, you’ll remember as the theme song from the 1986 animated classic, “Transformers The Movie.”
This is Punk’s fourth Slammy – he’s previously won the 2008 OMG Moment award for cashing in his Money In The Bank contract on Edge, the 2009 Shocker of the Year award for forcing Jeff Hardy to leave WWE, and the 2010 Despicable Me award for singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.
Here to present our next award… it’s LITA! She’s here to present the “Divalicious Moment of the Year” award. The nominees are:
Natalya puts Layla and Eve in the Sharpshooter at the same time
Kelly Kelly wins the Divas Championship
Kharma debuts at Extreme Rules
Beth Phoenix gives Eve a Glam Slam from the top rope at Survivor Series
And the winner is: Kelly Kelly. Beth Phoenix comes out, steals the Slammy, and proclaims herself Diva of the Year, but Kelly slaps her and takes it back.
This is Kelly Kelly’s first Slammy!
Santino Marella and the Bella Twins present the award for “OMG Moment of the Year.” The nominees are:
Triple H tombstones The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXVII
The Rock Rock Bottoms John Cena at WrestleMania XXVII
The WWE Superstars walk out on Triple H
CM Punk wins the WWE Championship and walks out on WWE
And the winner is: Triple H! Hunter heads straight to the ring and cuts a promo on Kevin Nash. He scares Santino away at the top of the ramp.
This is Triple H’s second Slammy. He won the award for “Best Hair” in 1997.
David Otunga and Tony Atlas present the award for “Trending Superstar of the Year.” Otunga explains, while Tony Atlas laughs the whole time, that the four nominees will wrestle in a Fatal Four Way Match. While the match is going on, the first one of the four to trend on Twitter will win the award, which will be presented after the match. The nominees – and participants in the next match – are:
Cody Rhodes
Zack Ryder
Daniel Bryan
Dolph Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler def. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, and Zack Ryder in a Fatal Four Way Match. This match is a must-watch. Hell of a battle between these four, and they gave it a lot of time. In the end it was Ziggler hitting a Zig Zag on Daniel Bryan to pick up the hard fought victory. However…
Jerry “The King” Lawler enters the ring and announces that the winner of “Trending Superstar of the Year” is, of course, Zack Ryder. Ryder gets his Slammy, but Ziggler hits him with a Zig Zag and walked away with the trophy.
This is Zack Ryder’s second Slammy. He won the 2010 “Most Annoying Catchphrase” Slammy for “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.” My how times have changed.
Christian, on crutches and wearing a neck brace, presents the award for “Game Changer of the Year,” but not before calling himself the “Courageous Superstar of the Year” and blaming the WWE Universe for him not being in the running for “Superstar of the Year” later on tonight. The nominees are:
Vince McMahon removed from power
Edge retires
The Rock and John Cena set a date for WrestleMania 28
Kevin Nash returns at SummerSlam
And the winner is: The Rock and John Cena. Cena accepts the award and says it’s a two person award. He introduces The Rock, who doesn’t come out. Cena says that we have him via satellite. We don’t. Cena says he’s saying these things to make the Rock that much more motivated to put boots to asses.
This is John Cena’s 4th Slammy. He’s won the 2009 and 2010 Superstar Of The Year awards, and the 2010 Holy !@#$ Moment for putting Batista through the stage with an Attitude Adjustment.
The Miz & Alberto Del Rio def. CM Punk & Randy Orton – The Miz and Alberto Del Rio won by keeping Punk away from Orton. Orton was eventually pulled off the apron by Wade Barrett, leaving Punk alone, and the numbers game caught up with him. After the match, Orton took off looking for Barrett, while The Miz and Del Rio assaulted Punk with a ladder. Del Rio locked the Cross Armbreaker in on Punk through the rungs of the ladder while Miz stated that no matter what happens, Punk won’t walk out of TLC with the WWE Championship.
We get another “Kane Resurrected” Promo
Vickie Guerrero and Goldust present “WWE A-Lister Of The Year.” The nominees are:
The Muppets
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green
Hugh Jackman
And the winner is: Snooki, who accepts via pre-recorded message. She wishes Zack Ryder luck at TLC and gives a “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.”
I’m sure it goes without saying that this is Snooki’s first, and probably only, Slammy.
Matt Striker interviews Mark Henry backstage, who is looking to induct John Cena into the Hall of Pain tonight.
Sheamus heads to the ring for action. His opponent is scheduled to be Jinder Mahal, but as he’s talking trash when he gets in the ring, Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick and leaves.
Rey Mysterio presents “Superstar of the Year.” The nominees are:
John Cena
Alberto Del Rio
Mark Henry
CM Punk
Randy Orton
The Miz
And the winner is: CM Punk, with his second victory of the night. John Laurinaitis says Punk is in no condition to accept, so he accepts on Punk’s behalf.
This is Punk’s 2nd Slammy tonight and his 5th overall win.
Mark Henry walking backstage is cut off by the newest cryptic video.
John Cena vs. Mark Henry ends in a no contest when Kane returns! Wearing a hard black mask when he gets to the ring, he chokeslams John Cena! He sets off his pyro and removes the black mask, only to reveal that he’s returned to wearing a half mask and having long hair.
My thoughts: Quick thoughts, of course. I need stuff for the podcast, after all. I’m glad to see Kane back, and back to his old look. Maybe we’ll get the Big Red Monster back! And yes folks, all the stats I added in about the Slammys are 100% correct. I did my research!
This week on BWF Radio, the crew discuss the decline of the Knockouts division, Daniel Bryan’s chances of successfully cashing in Money In The Bank, Hornswoggle’s chances of surviving the Battle Royal without Sheamus, Kofi Kingston bullying Michael Cole, subtle booking nuances, and much much more! Right click and “save as” the link below to listen!
