Welcome all and how is everyone? Things are all well here in JTland , but enough about me, I have a whole week of wrestling to to talk about. So without further ado, lets get this show on the road:
1. More releases this week. Last week I forgot to mention the release of WWE referee Scott Armstrong. For those who don’t know, Armstrong was the referee who made The Undertaker “tap out” to CM Punk at Breaking Point. This is a shock because you don’t hear about referee’s being released that often. Also released this week was Charlie Haas which is really no surprise because we barely saw him on TV in the last year, so it was coming.
2.RIP Angelo Poffo, father of The Genius and Randy “Macho Man” Savage.
3. TNA released Awesome Kong, Traci Broooks, and Roxxi. I guess they won’t be focusing hat much on the Knockouts anymore.
4. Sean Morley (aka Val Venis) has left TNA to work in Mexico saying TNA had nothing solid yet. Damn, I figured that TNA would have him under some kind of contract seeming that he just went over TNA founder Jeff Jarrett this past week on iMPACT!
5. So, tomorrow is the “big night” where iMPACT! goes head to head with RAW. While I wish them all the best, unless they air the replays on Thursday, I won’t be tuning in.
6. Rob Van Dam is scheduled to appear on tomorrow night’s iMPACT!
7. What was with the squash match Money In The Bank qualifying matches on RAW this week? Ok, I understand Jack Swagger killing Santino Marella, because Marella is a jobber, but MVP squashing Zack Ryder shouldn’t have happened especially after pushing him to the moon on ECW.
8. Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon in the inductee into the class of 2010 WWE Hall Of Fame.
9. I’m still not really into the NXT program. I just don’t get what everybody likes about it.
10. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch the Goldust/Chris Jericho match from this weeks Superstars. Hell the whole show was goos, but the Jericho/Goldust matchup was awesome. Lets hope WWE does something with Goldust now that he’s on Smackdown.
11. Ok, so WWE now stops matches when someone gets a cut (Chavo was cut during his match with Kofi Kingston). Come on, this is stupid. Even the live fans didn’t like it. It’s one thing to do it during a live show, but to do during a taped show is just stupid.
12. John Morrison and R-Truth are facing Show-Miz for the WWE Unified Tag Team Titles. I think someone said that a couple weeks ago in his Random article. I wonder who that could be?
13. We have a Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang sightings, yet they weren’t jobbing together. In fact Slam Master J didn’t even wrestle.
14. I don’t know why people give Matt Hardy crap for being fat, he really isn’t. He’s in better shape than most of us are.
15. Apparently now you can get your losses removed from you record no in the WWE, even when you lose clean, twice. Who knew.
16. On a final note, for all of those interested, I will be hosting the Wrestlemania 26 Roundtable and I would like to make this a big one, so all are welcome, but please get me your picks by no later than Friday March 26, 8pm eastern so I can have it up Sat morning.
Ok that all for another week, thanks again for reading and see you all next week.
Hey everybody. I’m back with another invigorating review (and by review I mean my rants about how these guys should be used instead of how they are being used) of WWE Superstars. Let’s get this thing started shall we?
Kofi Kingston def. Chavo Guerrero
This match is for two guys who can’t get on TV anymore. Somehow, Kofi got lost in the RAW shuffle and is not even in the Money in the Bank Match at Wrestlemania. How does this kind of oversight happen? One minute the guy is on fire in a very hot feud with Randy Orton and then the next he is delegated to random matches against Chavo Guerrero on Superstars without even a hint he will be on the biggest show of the year. Is it just me or does Kofi seem like another Elijah Burke, destined to be in TNA? Anyways, Kofi wins with the Trouble in Paradise.
Evan Bourne def. William Regal
This is the type of match that should get some time. It’s really hard to explain a comeback from a beatdown in a short period of time. William Regal dominates this match and then out of nowhere, Bourne hits a knee and the Shooting Star Press for the win.
Kane def. Mike Knox
Ok. Kane is in the MITB match at Wrestlemania. Mike Knox is on his way to the unemployment line. Who do you think won this? Kane wins with the Chokeslam.
Chris Jericho vs Goldust
This was a highly entertaining match. Jericho even praised the Bizzare One on his Twitter account after this match was recorded on Tuesday night. With Goldust being in good shape and still being able to perform on a high level, maybe he can hang around for a little while and do for Drew McIntyre what he did for Sheamus on ECW. Jericho wins with the Codebreaker.
RAW is going Up In Smoke tonight as Cheech and Chong host. Randy Orton takes on Ted DiBiase, more qualifying matches for the Money In The Bank match at WrestleMania should be happening, and Bret Hart may give his farewell address to the WWE Universe. Ready? Me too! Let’s go!
Before I get started with the SmackDown review, I want to give an update on the condition of “Mastiff” Will Calrissian, who slipped off of the ropes and landed on his head during the Empire State Wrestling “Overdrive” event last weekend. He’s out of the hospital, and recovering from a fractured skull. We here at BoredWrestlingFan wish Mastiff a speedy recovery!
Anyways, I have no idea what’s on tap for tonight, so let’s just roll with it!
Last week, Matt Hardy cost CM Punk his chance at regaining his World Heavyweight Champion, leading to Punk assaulting Matt’s younger brother, champion Jeff Hardy. Teddy Long agreed to give Punk a rematch at SummerSlam in a TLC match.
Speaking of CM Punk, he’s here! And he’s got an awesome new t-shirt that I want!
Punk says that if Teddy Long thinks that he’s punishing Punk by making the title match at SummerSlam a TLC match, he’s wrong. Punk knows his way around ladder matches – he won Money In The Bank at back to back WrestleManias. Chairs? Did you see what he did to Hardy last week? Punk says he’s speak about the virtues of living clean, but he realizes that anything he says or does will just make people cheer Jeff Hardy more. He’s figured out what he has to do to get through to them though. He figures all he has to do is end Jeff Hardy. He wants to do it the same way he lives his life – the right way. Straight up, one on one, no family on the outside, just Jeff Hardy and CM Punk with the World Heavyweight Championship hanging above the ring, and TLC. Jeff is already going to screw this up like he does everything else, he might not make it to SummerSlam.
You know it’s the Mack Militant…
Teddy Long makes his way out to the ring, interrupting Punk mid-sentence. What Punk did last week was deplorable. He could’ve ended Jeff Hardy’s career. Before he starts making alternative plans for SummerSlam, however, Jeff Hardy is in the building! He’s in no condition to compete, but he’s assured T-Lo that he’ll be ready to go for SummerSlam. But enough about SummerSlam, tonight, Punk is set to go one on one with a man he hasn’t beaten on SmackDown, John Morrison. Punk calls Long a Jeff Hardy suck-up like all the fans. He says tonight he’ll beat John Morrison, and then at SummerSlam, he’ll beat the poster boy…
So you see the writing on the wall…
Punk can’t seem to finish a thought around here tonight. The World Heavyweight Champion hobbles down to the ring, stopping to shake hands with the fans along the way. Hardy is hurt, but he’s here – “IN YO’ FACE!” Hardy says he’ll endure the pain and defend the title at SummerSlam.
Last week, Kane kidnapped Ranjin Singh.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Teddy Long has his theme song as his ring tone. I know this because Mr. McMahon called him on it when he was sitting in his office. The boss wants Jeff Hardy in action tonight. Long protests, but since he’s still on probation, he’ll agree to have Jeff compete – against The Hart Dynasty.
Finlay still has Hornswoggle’s music, and he makes his way to the ring. Last Friday, he was pinned by Dolph Ziggler, who will face Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam for the Intercontinental Championship. Speaking of Ziggler, guess who Finlay’s opponent is tonight. Hey wait a minute – when did Tony Chimel become the ring announcer for SmackDown again? I liked Justin Roberts, dammit!
Dolph Ziggler def. Finlay
Finlay likes to beat people up, and that’s what he does in the early going. Ziggler turns things around and kicks Finlay’s head into the ring post. Mike Knox appears on the ramp and starts walking down to the ring as we head to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Knox is getting a close up view of this match we’re watching from the comfort of our living rooms (or the BWF offices, as the case may be). Ziggler is still in control. Finlay starts to battle back, but Ziggler doesn’t let the comeback last too long. Finlay turns the tide again, taking Ziggler down for a two count. He builds momentum, sending Ziggler over the top rope and to the floor. Finlay hits Knox for good measure, then takes Ziggler down. While the referee was checking on Ziggler, Knox hit Finlay with the shillelagh, allowing Ziggler to hit his finisher for the victory.
After the match, Knox comes after Finlay with the shillelagh, but Finlay knocks hit out of his hand. No matter, Knox uses his brute strength to assault Finlay, and gives him a sidewalk slam onto the steel steps. Knox says that there are 206 bones in the human body, but what fascinates him is that the slightest trauma on the cervical vertebrae leaves one in excruciating discomfort.
Still to come, it’s John Morrison vs. CM Punk, and Jeff Hardy faces The Hart Dynasty by orders of Mr. McMahon.
Ranjin Singh is tied up backstage, and Kane says he’ll let him go if he says what Kane wants him to say. Singh says that his name is Ranjin Singh, and he’s been punished for his association with The Great Khali. He’s been well taken care of. Kane says he wants to hear from Khali. He wants to see him. He wants him to come and have a look at Kane’s handy work.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Video package on R-Truth, for some reason.
Maria’s got a date with Dolph and can’t figure out what to wear. Melina asks what they’re doing SummerSlam weekend. Dolph is taking her to LA a few days early and they’re getting a nice hotel room. Layla comes in and says Dolph will leave when somebody better comes along. Layla tells Melina that Michelle McCool is coming back next week. Melina says she’s got a message for Michelle, and she’ll give it to her in the ring.
John Morrison is out first for his match. Last night he beat David Hart Smith on Superstars, and tonight he’s got a match with the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, and that is NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
CM Punk and his awesome new shirt come down to the ring when we come back, and we relive his attack on Jeff Hardy last week.
CM Punk def. John Morrison
You knew it. I knew it. This is one of those matches. One of those matches you just have to sit back and watch. Back and forth action early on, but Punk suckered Morrison out of the ring, knocking him down with a kick and hitting a guillotine kneedrop of sorts to the back of Morrison’s skull before we proceed to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Punk is in control when we come back. He smiles, and the crowd boos accordingly. Morrison starts battling back. JR calls them “two future world champions.” Nevermind the fact that both men are former ECW Champions, and that Punk is the former two time World Heavyweight Champion. Morrison takes control of the match, scoring two counts on a standing moonsault and a top rope cross body. Punk manages to get control back, and gets Morrison up in GTS position, but instead rams Morrison head first into the turnbuckle a couple of times. Punk lays in the kicks as the fans start to chant for Morrison. JoMo mounts another comeback, but as he goes for Starship Pain, Punk gets up and crotches Morrison on the top turnbuckle. Morrison winds up in the tree of woe, allowing Punk to get in a number of shots before picking him up and hitting the Go 2 Sleep for the victory!
This is why I love SmackDown. Even when there’s not a whole lot of wrestling on the show, there are still some of the best wrestling matches in recent memory. Anyways, Hardy vs. The Hart Dynasty is still to come!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Melina makes her way out to the ring, and… and… I think… Could it possibly be? Oh my god, it is! It’s a one on one Divas match! Layla starts heading down to the ring, and…
Backstage, Kane is asking Ranjin why Khali is such a freak. Singh says that he’s not a freak, he’s his brother. Kane wants to know if he’s jealous of him because he’s been given gifts of which he was deprived. Kane says he’s running out of patience, so if Khali is going to save him, he’d better make it quick.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Hey wait! We’ve still got a Diva’s match!
Melina def. Layla
It’s a one on one Diva’s match! That never happens! And nobody really cares, because JR and Todd Grisham are talking about The Great Khali. Anyways, while I’m happy it’s not another 4, 6, 8, 12 Diva match, I really don’t care because we know who’s going to win this match – despite the fact that Layla is getting some offense in. More evidence that nobody cares about this match. JR and Grisham talk about Gail Kim being the number one contender for the Divas Championship on RAW, and the crowd is chanting “Let’s Go Oilers.” Layla looks to be improving in the ring, but she’s only postponing the inevitable. Melina hits her finisher, and the match is over.
Speaking of things nobody cares about, DX is reuniting, and Cryme Tyme is (are?) making their way to the ring.
Oh no. Somebody gave them a microphone. Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo. Yo. Yooooo. They babble like idiots for five minutes about Jericho and The Big Show. I don’t care. Then they do a modified version of that stupid catch phrase (yeah yeah).
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The Big Show makes his way to the ring, set to eat take on JTG.
Big Show vs. JTG
Chris Jericho joins in on commentary, meaning that this match might actually be watchable. That’s not to say I’m watching it – I’m eating some lasagna instead. Anyways, Show hits the chokeslam and then the camel clutch for the relatively easy victory.
As Show and Jericho go to leave, Shad dumps Big Show over the top rope. He challenges Show to get into the ring, but apparently that’s not going to happen because…
Ranjin Singh is tied upside down backstage when The Great Khali finally finds him. As Khali is getting him down, Kane attacks him with a lead pipe. Kane says he’s never been afraid of Khali, but Khali should be afraid of him.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
VIDEO: Triple H finds Shawn Michaels.
Rundown of the SummerFestSlam card.
Jeff Hardy is forced to wrestle tonight by order of Mr. McMahon, and the World Heavyweight Champion appears to be in pain as he makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The fans are cheering for their Canadian brethren, The Hart Dynasty, as they make their way to the ring.
The Hart Dynasty def. Jeff Hardy
This is one of those handicapped matches where the tag team has to tag each other in and out, which is good for Hardy, but is also essentially a moot point, considering the apparent physical condition of the Charismatic Enigma. The Hart Dynasty dominate this one, and pick up the win with a modified Hart Attack.
CM Punk comes to the ring following the match and assaults Hardy again until John Morrison makes the save. As Morrison is battling the Hart Dynasty, Punk cracked him across the back with a steel chair before resuming his assault on Jeff Hardy. He once again wraps the chair around Jeff’s throat, but Matt Hardy makes the save, attacking Punk from behind. Matt Hardy wails away on the number one contender until the Hart Dynasty breaks it up, but John Morrison helps dispose of them. Matt looks at his fallen brother and walks over to him slowly. Jeff backs into the corner, but Matt helps him to his feet. Jeff flashes the V1 sign to his brother, and as Teddy Long watches on a monitor backstage, he’s joined by Mr. McMahon. McMahon says the show was pretty exciting, but next week? Next week it will be CM Punk and The Hart Dynasty taking on John Morrison and The Hardyz. Mr. McMahon tells him he’s still on probation. Next week’s two main event teams glare up the ramp at one another as we fade to black.
My Thoughts: Matt Hardy, eh? I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens there. Another solid episode of SmackDown. I don’t really have a lot to say, however. I’ll be around in a few for a new edition of ThinkSoJoE’s thoughts.
* NOTE: Due to the f*(#ing Pittsburgh Penguins, I’m watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals tonight, and as such, I’m watching SmackDown early (like, 1PM early) via YouTube and therefore may miss some non-essential stuff. *
CM Punk is the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION and he makes his way out to the ring as JR tells the tale of Punk cashing in Money In The Bank after Jeff Hardy defeated Edge in a hellacious ladder match this past Sunday at Extreme Rules. The new Champion takes the microphone and says that he’s going to cut to the chase. He wanted to clear up a few things. Ever since he cashed in, there have been grumblings that say Punk stole the World Heavyweight Championship from Jeff Hardy. Punk doesn’t see it that way. Last year, when he cashed in on Edge, nobody saw it that way. Punk can’t take back what he did, nor does he want to. He’s proud to stand in the ring as the new World Heavyweight Champion. He earned the right to cash in that briefcase when he put his body on the line at WrestleMania. There was an opportunity to become champion staring him in the face, and he capitalized on it. It doesn’t make him a bad guy, that’s the whole point of the Money In The Bank briefcase. It wasn’t the most popular decision in the world, but Punk’s never done anything just to be popular, he’s always done what’s best for himself. The World Championship is something he’s worked very hard to attain. It’s the entire reason he’s a WWE Superstar to begin with. The title means the world to him, and he stands here and promises to bring respect, honor, and integrity back to the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll represent the WWE as Champion to the best of his ability.
Jeff Hardy comes limping out to the ring, showing the effects of the ladder match from this past Sunday. The fans chant Hardy’s name, and he says that he didn’t come out to complain about what Punk did. That’s not his style. Punk thinks he earned it, Hardy doesn’t agree. Neither do the fans. Punk won Money in the Bank and could cash it in whenever he wanted to, but Punk cashed in on the wrong guy. Punk understands that Hardy is angry, but he wants Jeff to understand where he’s coming from. The fans chant “Hardy” again, and Punk says he didn’t put him in a ladder match at Extreme rules, Jeff put himself in one. The night he picked a ladder match, a lightbulb went off that said “that’s my night.” It didn’t matter who won, that was when Punk was going to cash in, and, well, Jeff won. Hardy doesn’t care about Punk’s reasons, Hardy Senses “shelfishness.” Does Punk care about his fans? The fans chant “Hardy” again. Hardy doesn’t walk the same path as Punk, and never will, but he wants his title back. He wants his rematch TONIGHT!
You think you know me…
Edge comes out to the stage, and says no. Jeff wants his World Title back? He wants his rematch? No, if anybody is getting their rematch, it’s Edge. Hardy wants to know if Edge lost it, Jeff beat Edge. Why is he out here anyway, this is about Hardy and Punk. Punk agrees, he didn’t beat Edge, he beat Jeff Hardy. Edge says Hardy got lucky at Extreme Rules, and both of them combined have not held the title as much as Edge. Hardy had the shortest World Heavyweight Championship reign in the history of the WWE, but at least he has some originality. Edge has been trying to figure out what makes Punk tick ever since he got here. Edge has been watching him and trying to figure out who he looks up to. He wants to be Edge. Punk laughs, and Edge explains that Punk calls his unique lifestlye Straight Edge – hello! Punk named it after him. He cashed in MITB twice, just like Edge. Newsflash. Punk never has been, and never will be Edge. Another newsflash – if Jeff Hardy wants another shot, he needs to get behind Edge. Edge is the only person getting a rematch tonight. Get it? Hardy says that’s not going to happen because Punk and Edge are both full of – and with that he pops Edge in the head with the microphone. He drops Punk with a Twist of Fate and nails the Swanton on the World Heavyweight Champion.
You know it’s the Mack Militant!
Teddy Long wants to sort it out. Punk is the Champion, and his first title defense will be at the Three-For-All this Monday. He’ll face the winner of tonight’s number one contenders match between Edge and Jeff Hardy. Holla holla holla!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
T-Lo is greeted in his office by the new Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, who wants to know why he’s not getting a chance at the World Heavyweight Championship. He sees it as a sign of disrespect. He’s a 5 time World Champion, he unmasked Rey Mysterio at Extreme Rules, and he’s a record 9 time Intercontinental Champion. T-Lo needs to make things right, Jericho’s dressed and ready to compete. What’s Long going to do? Long can’t seem to come up with a good argument against Jericho, but he’s already made the number one contenders match for tonight. He’d like to see if Jericho is worthy of contention, and tonight, he’s going to go one on one with CM Punk. Jericho tells him “nice job.”
Dolph Ziggler makes his way out to the ring for our opening contest on Friday Night SmackDown. His opponent is, for the second straight week, the Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali!
Dolph Ziggler def. The Great Khali
Ziggler starts the match by – well, as Todd Grisham put it “wasting no time in wasting time.” He slides out of the ring, but when he gets back in, he gets clotheslined down to the mat. He slides out again, then tells the referee that Khali pulled his hair. Khali brings Ziggler back in the hard way, and takes him down with hard strikes. Ziggler starts to get some offense in, going after the leg of Khali, then locking in a front face lock. Khali easily battles out of it, picking Ziggler up and tossing him straight back down 7 feet to the canvas. Ziggler exits the ring before any more damage could be done. Ziggler uses Ranjin Singh as a shield on the outside, shoving him into Khali at 8, sliding back in at 9, and Khali gets himself counted out at 10. Ziggler outsmarted Khali for the count out victory!
Still to come, Jeff Hardy takes on Edge in a #1 Contenders match!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk takes on Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho later on tonight – interestingly enough, last week’s SmackDown had the World Heavyweight Champion against the Intercontinental Champion for the very first time – but it was Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Guess that goes to show that a lot can happen in a week.
Michelle McCool and Layla are accompanied to the ring by Alicia Fox. At least, that’s what Justin Roberts said. Todd Grisham says it’s a six Diva match coming up. There was one of those last week, where Layla scored an upset pinfall on Women’s Champion Melina. Melina and Eve make their way out, and we know for sure that this is a tag team match, not a six Diva match. So instead of a six Diva clusterf*(#, it’s a four Diva clusterf^*(#.
Michelle McCool & Layla def. Melina & Eve
I know I say this every week, but I just don’t care about the WWE Divas. It’s not that they’re not as talented as the male Superstars, I think it’s more because they’re always stuck in multi-participant matches. Anyways, Alicia Fox distracts Melina, allowing Michelle to catch her with the Styles Clash Faith Breaker for the victory.
Up next, John Morrison teams with R-Truth to take on the World’s Greatest Tag Team of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Apparently more women watched SmackDown last Friday than any show on Oxygen, CW, or Lifetime Network. Take THAT Oprah Winfrey! (Here’s hoping that last line gets us in the search results for Oprah Winfrey!)
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME NOW!
Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin make their way out to Shelton’s music. Which is weird, because they have music as a team – it’s Charlie Haas’s music. John Morrison, fresh off an impressive match with Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho last night on WWE Superstars, is out first for this match, and you can hear the women scream for him as he poses on the ropes. R-Truth must’ve finally got his employee ID badge, because he’s coming out from the back instead of the crowd for the second week straight. Truth says that The World’s Greatest Tag Team being back together is like Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer teaming up to do a rap song. Nobody wants to hear them, and nobody wants to see the WGTT. That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. What a stupid catch phrase.
R-Truth & John Morrison def. Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin
Charlie Haas attacks Morrison from behind to start the match, allowing Benjamin to take advantage for the team. It doesn’t take long for Morrison to battle back, and just like last week, when it’s JoMo and The Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin in the ring, it’s time to kick back and watch. Morrison tags in R-Truth, who is a talented performer in his own right, but he allows himself to be distracted by Charlie Haas and taken down by Shelton Benjamin.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Benjamin is in control when we come back, and it doesn’t slow down when we come back. Haas gets the tag and the WGTT does one of the tandem maneuvers that earned them the name. Haas is another talented worker, and he shows it off here as he manages to keep R-Truth away from his corner for a while. Truth finally turns the tide and tags in John Morrison, who takes down both members of the World’s Greatest Tag Team. He hits a springboard kick on Haas, but Benjamin breaks up the pin. Charlie Haas takes out R-Truth, and Morrison hits a unique kick on Haas before hitting the Moonlight Drive and the Starship Pain for the victory!
Still to come, Jeff Hardy vs. Edge, but up next, it’s CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The WWE would like to thank everybody who watched Extreme Rules on Pay Per View or on WWE.com. What, no love for those of us who managed to find one of the few streams WWE didn’t kill off?
Chris Jericho heads to the ring, Intercontinental Championship around his waist, and Rey Mysterio’s mask in his hand. He got that mask by ripping it off of Mysterio’s face this past Sunday at Extreme Rules. Come to think of it, that’s how he got the belt too. Jericho says he stands up for what he believes in, and he’s an honest man while 99% of us are liars and cheaters. He’s a success while 99% of us fail at everything. He believes that by unmasking Rey Mysterio he did him a favor. Now Mysterio doesn’t have to live his life in the shadows. He can live life without worrying if anybody recognizes him and knows who he truly is. Instead of thanking Jericho, he’s disappeared like a coward. In time he’ll realize that he’s been redeemed, led to his salvation by his savior, Chris Jericho. He’s exposed Myserio as a fraud, and he’ll let everybody know the same thing about CM Punk tonight. Jericho is better than CM Punk, because he’s the best at what he does. He guarantees a victory tonight, and there’s nothing that any of us can do about it. CM Punk’s music hits and the World Heavyweight Champion makes his way out to the ring.
CM Punk def. Chris Jericho
These guys have had great matches in the past and I don’t have any doubt that this will be another one. Both guys go for – and escape from – one another’s signature moves early in the match, just before the…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
It’s still a very entertaining match when we come back with Punk in control. It doesn’t take too long for Jericho to turn it around in this back and forth contest. Interesting side note. Punk won the World Heavyweight Championship last year after winning Money In The Bank at a WrestleMania yours truly attended. He did the same this year after winning Money In The Bank at this year’s WrestleMania, which was attended by Drowgoddess. BoredWrestlingFan.com has been a good luck charm for Punk, apparently. Anyways, I digress. Jericho tries to keep a slow an methodical pace, and Punk picks up the pace when he goes on offense. Like Morrison and Benjamin, Punk vs. Jericho is really one of those “kick back and watch” matches. Punk goes for a GTS, but Jericho blocks it, grabbing Punk’s leg and locking in the Walls of Jericho. Punk pulls himself to the ropes, breaking the hold. Jericho stalks Punk, trying to clothesline him out of the ring, but Punk ducks. Jericho goes to climb the ropes, but Punk kicks him down, then hits a superplex. Both men exchange blows, but Jericho ducks a Punk punch and hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere – but Punk got his foot on the ropes at two. Jericho starts to kick Punk, but Punk shows him how it’s done, kicking Jericho in the head and dropping him with the Go 2 Sleep for the victory! Another great match!
Who will Punk defend his title against at the Three For All on RAW? We’ll find out, tonight.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Jeff Hardy makes his way out to the ring, still putting on his armbands. Edge is out next, and much like Jeff Hardy, he looks sore on his way to the ring. CM Punk comes to ringside and joins Todd Grisham and Good Ol’ JR on commentary.
Edge def. Jeff Hardy via disqualification
It’s a slow and deliberate pace to start off this match, which shows the effects of the ladder match from Extreme Rules. Punk once again explains why he chose Extreme Rules to cash in, and JR agrees that it was a good idea. Edge goes for a spear early but crashes into the ringpost, straight into our living rooms to enjoy a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Hardy is still in control, and was dominating through the break as he works on Edge’s arm that hit the ringpost earlier. Todd Grisham asks Punk who he’d rather face this Monday. He says he can’t pick one or the other because Hardy takes a lot of chances, but he’s beaten Edge before. Meanwhile, Edge takes control of the match. Hardy tries to mount a comeback, but Edge chop-blocks him and goes to work on the leg. Punk says that if you asked him now, he’d face Hardy because he could take out his knee. Hardy winds up in the Tree of Woe but gets himself down before Edge can take advantage, and we go to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Edge is still working over Hardy’s leg when we get back. Hardy causes some separation, then catches an incoming Edge from the top rope with a kick and a DDT for a two count. The two take each other down with a double clothesline. Hardy starts to take control when the men get back up, getting a high pitched cheer when he takes his shirt off. Jeff goes to the second rope and drops the leg on Edge for a two count. Edge blocks a sitout leg drop by Hardy and locks in a variation on the Sharpshooter. Hardy gets the ropes to break the hold. Edge pushes his way out of a Twist of Fate attempt, but Hardy moves out of the way of Edge’s spear, sending Edge into the post again. Hardy drops Edge with a Twist of Fate, climbing the ropes, but Edge moves out of the way of a Swanton, but catches a flying clothesline on the outside instead. Edge tosses Hardy over the announce table into CM Punk, who dives in the ring and attacks Edge. The referee rings the bell, and Jeff Hardy realizes what just happened – Edge has won by disqualification.
Hardy dives back into the ring and attacks Edge. Edge goes for an Edgecution on Hardy, who reverses it into a Twist of Fate. CM Punk drops Hardy with a Go To Sleep and stands tall over both Edge and Jeff Hardy.
Backstage, Tiffany is sitting around with Teddy Long, who announces that this Monday on RAW, instead of a one on one match, it’s going to be CM Punk defending his World Heavyweight Championship in a triple threat match against Edge and Jeff Hardy.
My Thoughts: I would love to see a match between John Morrison and Rob Van Dam. Hell, make it a triple threat with Evan Bourne as well, and we’re looking at a match of the eternity candidate if you like the high fliers. Hey, speaking of high flying Triple Threat action, that’s what we’ve got coming up this Monday when CM Punk defends against Edge and Jeff Hardy on the Three For All. We’ll also see Christian challenge Tommy Dreamer for the ECW Championship, and a fatal four way between John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, and The Big Show for the vacant WWE Championship.
Anyways, tonight’s SmackDown continued the streak of awesomeness for the blue brand. These shows are exactly what wrestling shows should be all about. Sure, there’s talking, but it’s kept short and to the point. For the majority of two hours, you’re enjoying the finest professional wrestling on the planet, and that’s where RAW and iMPACT! get it wrong. SmackDown is the best wrestling television show there is – and it’s on free TV! You don’t even have to have cable to watch it. After today, though, you’ll need to be able to get digital channels to watch it in the United States. Hope you guys are prepared! See you tomorrow with another edition of ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts!
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Backlash
Backlash has been and gone. Matches were won and lost, and i didnt do any predictions. So, let’s just examine the happenings.
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become new ECW Champion.
Well, well. He finally wins the title. I knew that sooner or later he was gonna win. But the big question remains. Does this count as a major title win? I know that the ECW Championship counts as a major championship, but I, along with several other people, doesnt see the ECW Championship as nothing more than a re badged European Championship. Is this the stepping stone to Main Event level for Christian? My guess is no, as he needs to step up an extra couple of rungs up the ladder before he makes true Main Event status.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky Steamboat
Nice to see Jericho got the win. A loss here would have destroyed the small amount of credibility he has left. Also, I hope this is the end for Steamboat. He may still be able to go a little, but that doesnt mean that he should go a little. The novelty has worn off for Steamboat. As for Jericho, hopefull SmackDown! pushes him back up to Championship status, although seeing him stare down the Intercontinental Champion during the Draft coverage a few weeks back, spells his future.
Kane def. CM Punk
The relevance of this match? Filler. Thats all it was. they made up some thing about Kane being upset about not winning Money in the Bank at WrestleMania, but that did a rather lame job of hiding the fact that this match was only put there to fill up the card. Sadly, this match got in and yet the US Title, the Tag Titles, the IC Title and both Womens Titles didnt get defended. Just goes to show you how much the WWE think people want to see CM Punk. Even if the matches don’t mean anything.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy
This match was an I Quit match. If I am forced to sit down, and watch this Vampiro ripoff anymore, then I will quit. I do not understand how this guy is popular. Do they feel sorry for him because his house burned down? Do they feel sorry for him because he thought the name of this PPV was ‘Cracklash’? But seriously, I have no idea how Jeff Hardy got pushed, whereas Matt, the better of the two Hardys, didnt. Jeff became WWE Champion. He beat Edge for the belt, and was challenging former champion Triple H all the way. Yes, thats right, Triple H. The same Triple H whom Jeff Hardy beat for the Intercontinental Title back in 2001. Whereas Matt Hardy, well he beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. The same ECW Championship that I referred to as a re badged European Championship earlier. I wonder what will happen now that they are on different shows? My guess is, Matt Hardy will do nothing, whilst Jeff challenges for the World Title.
Khali Kiss Cam
Joke. Santina loves JR and Khali beats up Beth Phoenix. What has Beth Phoenix done to piss someone off? She must’ve done something real bad to be invovled in this Santina/Santino, To-may-to/To-ma-to let’s call the whole thing off nonsense. Thats what they should do with Santina Marella. Call the whole thing off. it’s becoming more ridiculous by the second. Nice way to destroy Beth’s career.
Legacy def. Trips, Shane O and PenisHead, meaning Randy Orton is new WWE Champion
Oh my god, the all mighty Triple H got beaten. What ever will we do? I know, send Penishead after him. He’ll save the day! Newsflash. Deacon Dave is inept. The only thing he’s good for is holding collection boxes. On the other hand, having Randy as champ is a big PLUS. Now, why couldnt they have Orton win at ‘Mania? Surely that would’ve been the best time to have him win the belt.
Edge def. John Cena to become World Heavyweight Champion
Edge win the belt, with a very big assist from the Big Show. Let me make this loud and clear. John Cena is NOT Hulk Hogan. John Cena is NOT some sort of being with superhuman powers. John Cena is NOT a member of the X-Men. Is Edge not good enough to beat John Cena on his own? Does the major title on SmackDown!, have to change more than Vickie Guerrero does love interests? However Ladies and Gentlemen and this is where they really grind my gears. John Cena, appeared on RAW. Thats right, just one day after being thrown into a spotlight, John Cena appears the next night. Hulk Hogan sold more in his career, than John Cena ever will. I hope Edge holds the belt for awhile, unless he loses it to Jericho. Anyone else, and it will be a travesty.
TNA
Have I missed anything? Oh yeah, they have a PPV coming up. It’s like they have one every month or something. Anyways, the up-coming PPV is Sacrifice and Mick Foley will defend his belt against … well it could be a list of people. From Bug-Eyed Lashley, to BrokeNeck Angle, to Stung, to Mike Tyson’s lookalike. The list goes on and on. Also, theres a Tag Team Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the gold. The winner also receives a trophy and $100,000. If Beer Money doesnt win the tournament, then their belts back, then once again, it’s a travesty.
The Rest
Just some short little tidbits here. Whomever entered the competition won. You all win jack, and shit. Thank you for entering.
Finally, don’t forget my review of the WWE Vintage Collection will be up at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com inside the next 24 hours, so go check that out. Also, check out the various videos and toilet breaks throughout the review.
I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you to stay away from fat chicks, as you might end up with swine flu.
Hey everybody! Its your favorite Christian enthusiast, tharvey1, here again for another review of WWE Superstars.
Match Numero Uno por la noche pits Rey Rey and Senor Money in the Bank CM Punk against Kane and El Grande Show. For those of you not fluent in Spanglish, it is Rey and CM Punk vs Kane and Big Show in a tag match.
To start the match, it is Kane taking on Rey. Kane and Rey seem to work well together when they square off, so the beginning of the match was quite entertaining. A pretty cool spot with Kane sliding Rey across the ring on his stomach to outside and Rey landing on his feet caught my eye. The middle of the match saw Kane and Show taking it to the much much smaller Rey. Somehow Rey weaseled away from Kane and made the tag to Punk, who came in hot until Show forced him off the top rope and into a chokeslam by Kane. Winner Kane and Big Show. I was suprised to see how little Punk was used in this match. I give this match a 6.5 out of 10.
The next match of the evening is Finlay and the midget against Tyson Kidd and Natalya, who were already in the ring
Kidd and Finlay start the match, with the troll quickly entering. He somehow pulled off a move, pulled out tennis balls and juggled them, threw them at Tyson Kidd, who proceeded to chase him out of the ring. Finlay then layed him out, tossed him back into the ring, and hit him with the shileighly….screw the spelling…you know what I’m talking about. The “little person” nails Kidd with the tadpole splash for the W. I was wildly disappointed with the lack of action for the B E A utiful Natalya, as her appearance was the only thing that made this squash match bearable to watch. I give this match a 2 out of 10. How can they build a guy like Tyson Kidd up if they are just going to job him to Hornswoggle?! On the way to break, Finlay seranades the audience and Hornswoggle with a rendition of When Irish Eyes are Smiling and just like that, Father and Son are split up. God I hope they future endeavor that little monkey soon.
John Cena talks backstage. Blah Blah Blah. He’s a great person, but there’s just so much I can take of him.
And Now for the Main Event of the evening. In the Blue Corner and fighting out of Jamaica…Kofi Kingston. In the Red Corner and fighting out of Toronto Ontario, Canada and hopefully future World Heavyweight Champion…The Rated R Superstar EHHHDDDDGGGE!!!!!!
Why hasn’t this match occurred sooner? Why didn’t Kofi get any revenge on Edge for stealing his Elimination Chamber spot? Whatever…The ultra, super athletic Kofi Kingston is great to watch…especially when he squares off against the magnificent Edge. The beginning of the match has a lot of arm bars by Kofi Kingston to pass the time on what will be a fairly lengthy match to end the show. Right before the final commercial break of the night, Edge knocks Kofi off the top rope. Back from break, Edge assumes control of the match. A little back in forth leads to Kofi showing off his athleticism off the top rope with a high cross body. Kofi uses an unorthodox, kinda belly to belly sweep for a pin attempt, which results in a twooooooo. Edge gets up and face plants Kofi, then misses a spear as Kofi recovers and hits a spinning kick to knock The Rated R Superstar out of the ring. A series of near falls by both men leads into a spear by Edge for the win. This was good back and forth match and by far the best match of the night. I give this match an 8 out of 10. It would have been a 10 out of 10 if Christian had shown up for a “5 Second Pose.” There’s my cheap plug of the night for Christian.
Overall, the show was just OK. The first match was alright, but lacked “it,” as all four of the guys seemed to care less about being there. The second match was a joke. Somebody please kill Hornswoggle already. The main event was very good, but not good enough to offset Hornswoggle being on the show. Now I will leave you with a fact of life as I know it….Firehouse is the greatest band of the “Hairband” era. Thanks for reading everybody and join me next week for another exhilarating WWE Superstars Review by Yours Truly.
