And here we are… the fallout from the Survivor Series PPV on Sunday… yeah. A new Heavyweight Champion is crowned tonight? Really? Let’s hop to it, shall we?
Big props to Al Creed for sending this one my way, and what a better sentiment to represent the WWE’s current fetish?
The Road to WrestleMania trundles on! We’re less than 3 weeks away from The Grandest Stage Of Them All!
Special thanks to the First Lady of BWF, Drowgoddess, for taking care of SmackDown! duties last week!
It’s substitution week here at BoredWrestlingFan.com! Drowgoddess covered SmackDown for Rich Flynn, and now it’s the Vince McMahon of BoredWrestlingFan, ThinkSoJoE covering RAW for AlyKat – and don’t worry, those of you who used your #BWF hashtag on Twitter will be recognized!
The Rock is in his office, making fun of John Cena’s terrible promo from last week. Cena’s music hits, and The Rock looks confused. Apparently, John Cena is in The Rock’s house. Rock asks if he wants to say something face to face. A little kid dressed like Cena comes in and tells Rock, “You Can’t See Me.” Rock stands up, and The Rock tells him to not even think about it. No “yo,” no gang signs. He’s not gangsta, he’s not from the hood. Rock wants him to talk to The Rock like an adult. The kid busts a rhyme – “Yo, my name’s John Cena, I’m puttin’ on the hurt/I’m the big tough guy with the bright purple shirt.” And he’s better than Cena. He tells The Rock that if he wants some, come get some. Rock sits back down and says it’s time for Cena to have a talk with the People’s Champion. Rock knows that when The Rock left, Cena took the ball and ran with it. He didn’t run far, but he was trying. Cena became The Man in the WWE. He didn’t just try, he succeeded! Think of the cultural impact Cena’s made on the world! Think about it. Kermit the Frog (ribbit, ribbit), Barney the Dinosaur (“bingo!”) and now you! And think about the demographic that Cena’s dominated – he owns the 2-5 year olds! Does he know why he’ll never be as good as The Rock? “John Cena” answers “Because I’m not that talented?” The Rock confirms. It took a big man for Cena to admit that. Now that that’s out of the way, how does that make him feel? IT DOESN’T MATTER, HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL! The kid starts crying, and The Rock says that The Rock doesn’t see The Rock and the millions crying, and we had to sit through Cena’s movies. Rock doesn’t have any toilet paper, but Rock does have the next best thing – a John Cena t-shirt. The kid blows his nose on the shirt, then The Rock spits on it. Rock is proud of Cena, because he admitted he wasn’t that talented. Rock has a gift for “Cena.” Abracadabra, Yabba Dabba! Rock produces a box of Fruity Pebbles.
“Hustle. Loyalty. Respect. AND Fruity Pebbles?!? YES!”
The Rock knows that’s John Cena’s favorite! Fred Flintstone is Cena’s hero. Rock tells “Cena” that he’ll never has muscles as big as The Rock’s, but he can go take his Fruity Pebbles and enjoy them! Rock says “Hello, Miz.” The Rock says that The Miz is the WWE Champion. The Rock is the most electrifying man in all of entertainment, the People’s Champion. Miz knocked Cena out cold last week. He had the gall to hit the People’s elbow and trash talk Rock’s family. The other statement The Miz made was that he wants The Rock to deliver the single biggest ass whipping of a lifetime. The Rock says that before WrestleMania, he’ll bring it live on Monday Night RAW. The only thing Cena and Miz should be concerned with is how badly The Rock layeth the smacketh down on both of their candy asses, if ya smelllllllalalalalallao! What the Rock is cookin!
Backstage, Snookie is with Trish Stratus. In the arena, Michael Cole is in a glass box that he calls “The Cole Mine.”
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWESOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME!
The WWE Champion, The Miz makes his way to the ring. We relive The Miz costing John Cena the WWE Tag Team Championships, The Miz dropping Cena after his cage match with A-Ry, and The Miz laying out Cena with a Skull-Crushing Finale and a People’s Elbow last week.
The Miz does his “really” shtick. He says that The Rock’s t-shirt says “I Bring It.” The Rock does bring it – The Rock brings out of date catch phrases, bad tattoos, horrific movies, empty promises, and pointless diatribes that only a has-been can bring. The Rock has a problem with The Miz insulting his family. Rock’s father and grandfather were both good, but they’ve never been the WWE Champion. That makes Miz better than both of them, and he can say whatever he wants. Rock likes to make six year olds cry – The Miz will make The Rock cry, and scream like a little girl. Unlike The Rock, instead of talking about beating up John Cena, The Miz has actually done it. Three weeks in a row, to be exact. So no, The Rock doesn’t own John Cena, The Miz does. Week after week, via television screen, The Rock says he’s going to bring it. Miz says who knows, he might bring it here to St. Louis. If he does bring it, he’ll be overshadowed by the most must-see WWE Champion in the history of this company, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWWWEEEEESSSOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEE!
Cole asks for our attention, and says he’s recieved an e-mail from the anonymous RAW GM. He exists the “Cole Mine,” but Jerry Lawler steps in front of him and reads the e-mail, despite Cole’s protests. The GM says that there are two first time ever matches for The Miz and John Cena. Later tonight, John Cena will face a man he’s never been in the ring with before, the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, Alberto Del Rio. The Miz claims that he’s beaten everybody, so who could it possibly be he’s facing? Lawler says that The Miz has never faced this man – The Great Khali!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@JonHexLives I was about to sit this #RAW out, then @TheRock cuts a promo and John Cena to shreds. #WWE #BWF
@TKeep123 Michael-Cole-In-A-Box! Now, if we can just get that glass booth sound-proofed! (and air tight!) #WWE #RAW #mnbw #BWF
The Great Khali def. The Miz via disqualification
The Miz goes after Khali early, but the advantage doesn’t last long. Meanwhile, King and Cole argue on commentary. Khali locks in the Vice Grip. Miz manages to get to the ropes, when Alex Riley comes in to attack Khali. Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge on a-Ry, but The Miz dissects Khali with a steel chair. He breaks it across the giant’s back. Miz DDTs Khali on the chair, which now has pieces hanging off of it. Khali’s back is bleeding from being destroyed by the chair.
Michael Cole has a very special guest tonight. He’ll expose Jerry “The King” Lawler for who he really is.
Also, Randy Orton takes on Mason Ryan in a match with WrestleMania implications!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@TKeep123 “You’re Fired” must be some secret “wrestling insider” term for “…See you on next weeks episode!” #WWE #RAW #mnbw #BWF
@N_er_d The Miz made Khali bleed. I am not complaining, but is blood now allowed on #WWE shows? #RAW #mnbw #bwf
Congratulations are in order for John Cena, who now has over 5,000,000 followers on Facebook. Hey, speaking of followers, we’re only 21 away from 1,000 on our twitter account, @BrdWrstlngFn. And you can find us on Facebook as well!
Josh Matthews and Jerry Lawler discuss Triple H vs. The Undertaker. Which can only mean one thing. We’re going to see clips from last week! They throw it to the video package that Triple H showed on SmackDown, which is good, because I slept through SmackDown and haven’t yet seen it.
John Morrison is backstage yapping with Snooki, who invites him to be a cast member on Jersey Shore. Vickie Guerrero tells Snookie she’s got a problem with her. Vickie was offered the cover of Playboy. Snooki says that it’s gotta be a centerfold, since you can’t fit all of Vickie on one page. Vickie gets the taste slapped out of her mouth.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@WWE_Creative Yeah, @Sn00ki calling @ExcuseMeWWE heavy is the pot calling the kettle fat. #RAWTonight
@iWoinsider Did Snooki just make a fat joke? To a woman who weighs at least 35 lbs. less than her?
“This bout, set for one fall, is for the United States Championship!”
Sheamus is on the cover of the new issue of “Muscle and Fitness” magazine. And if he loses, he’ll quit. Daniel Bryan is led to the ring by Gail Kim, and we’re set for US Title action!
Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan to become the United States Champion!
Josh Matthews ponders if there’s a curse associated with the King of the Ring. Nevermind that several Kings of the Ring have won World Championships over the years. Bryan dominates the early going, nailing a missile dropkick for a two count, sending Sheamus reeling out of the ring to regroup.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@WWE_Creative Sheamus appearing on the cover of Muscle and Fitness is all part of his Triple H Fantasy Camp package. #RAWTonight
@JonHexLives Daniel Bryan may lose the US title just so he has something to do at #Wrestlemania. #WWE #RAW #BWF
Sheamus has finally taken over during the commercial break with a Tilt-a-whirl slam. Bryan starts to battle back but Sheamus takes him down. Sheamus goes for another Tilt-a-whirl slam, but Bryan reverses it. Sheamus winds up back on the outside, clutching his ankle in a bit of deja vu, but Sheamus gets back in the ring. He misses a brogue kick, allowing Bryan to lock in the Lebell Lock, but Sheamus gets to the bottom rope. Sheamus runs Bryan into the turnbuckle and goes for the Celtic Cross, but Bryan reverses that as well. Bryan kicks Sheamus down to his knees, then a kick to the head results in a two count for the defending champion. Bryan goes to the top rope, but Sheamus nails a brogue kick out of midair and pins Bryan to become the new United States Champion!
Michel Cole stands up in his Cole Mine. He says he’s going to participate in Regicide – the death of a king. He has somebody who is going to expose Jerry Lawler for who he really is – and that person will be out here NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@Whovian_23 Why are people so miffed at an Irish Person as the U.S Champion. Most of the European Champions where American. #WWE #RAW #BWF
Apparently, I missed the video recapping last week’s Stone Cold hijacking of the referee spot for the Cole/Lawler match. Cole knows how King gets when anybody talks about his family. Cole isn’t going to talk about King’s family – King’s family is going to talk about him. Cole’s guest at this time is Jerry Lawler’s biological son, Brian Christopher Lawler. Grandmaster Sexay comes out to the old Too Cool music, dancing up the aisle, with Cole dancing in the ring. Cole points out that he never went by the name Brian Lawler in WWE. Christopher says that he never felt like he had a father, because Jerry Lawler was too busy being the king to pay attention to his son. Lawler never wanted a child. Christopher gets out of the ring and sounds winded from doing so. Jerry Lawler never wanted anybody to take away from his spotlight. That’s why when Brian Christopher made it on his own to the WWE, Lawler wouldn’t even admit that he was his son. Lawler grabs a mic and says that he doesn’t know what to say other than he’s not the only one who’s glad he didn’t use the Lawler name. He’s a bigger screwup than Charlie Sheen. Just the fact that he’d associate with Michael Cole tells everybody what kind of person he is. Brian asks Jerry how it feels to know that he competed at WrestleMania before he did, as part of Too Cool. He was one of the biggest superstars in WWE in that dream he had that one time. How does that make you feel, Daddy? Christopher shoves Lawler and asks for an answer. He slaps Lawler and taunts him. The reason Christopher never used Lawler’s name is because he’s ashamed of his father. Cole says Lawler doesn’t care about his family. He’s a coward, a loser, and at WrestleMania, he’ll put The King in his place…
The sounds of “Boomer Sooner” fill the arena and Jim Ross makes his way to the ring! Cole was wondering when JR was going to show up to steal the spotlight. Must be a slow day in the Barbecue business or on Twitter. JR says this has gone far enough. Cole tells him to go away. It’s over, he’s done. This is Cole’s show now. He’s the voice of the WWE, not Jim Ross. JR says he’s been meaning to talk to him about that. About the voice of WWE. For many years, JR had the privilege and honor to sit next to Jerry Lawler on RAW, and was lucky enough to be inducted to the Hall of Fame. But neither he, nor Cole, nor anybody else sitting there will be the voice of the WWE – the fans are the voice of the WWE. Lawler’s been carrying Cole for a long time. Like a mother kangaroo. But Cole isn’t a lovable furry little animal like a kangaroo – he’s a varmint. A rat bastard. Cole says he always envisioned it like this. Cole being the bigger man while JR walked out into the sunset with his tail tucked between his legs. JR gets back into the ring, takes off his hat, his jacket, and his tie, and makes a “bring it” motion. Cole takes off his jacket and tie as a “JR” chant breaks out. Meanwhile, Jack Swagger attacks Jerry Lawler at the broadcast table. Cole sends Swagger after JR, telling him to teach him some respect. Swagger beats down JR and locks in the Ankle Lock. Lawler finally gets in the ring and knocks Swagger off JR, but winds up finding himself in the Ankle Lock for his trouble. Swagger points at JR, and Cole locks JR in the Ankle Lock.
Still to come, John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio, but up next, Mason Ryan tries to earn the right to be in CM Punk’s corner at WrestleMania as he takes on Randy Orton.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@JamesGuttmanWWI Brian Christopher is one of the only people I’ve ever seen run out of breath in the ring…during a promo.
@justinruff At least it wasn’t Dr. Heinie. #RAW
Randy Orton gets the obligatory hometown pop, and then Mason Ryan makes his way to the ring.
Randy Orton def. Mason Ryan
It’s all Orton in the early going, and I really don’t feel like reviewing this match. I’m going to go make my dinner. I put my food in the microwave, and Orton drops an overconfident Ryan with an RKO when I get back to pick up the victory. It’s CM Punk vs. Randy Orton with no Nexus involved at WrestleMania!
Orton goes to leave, but he looks up the ramp at CM Punk and stops. He looks back toward the ring. He punts Ryan in the skull, and turns to meet up with a charging CM Punk. The two glare at each other on all fours, and Punk decides that the better part of valor really is discretion, and slithers back out of the ring.
Earlier tonight, Snooki made a fat joke at Vickie Guerrero’s expense.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@TKeep123 Orton with the punt to Ryan….damn, its getting crowded down in FCW! #WWE #RAW #mnbw#BWF
@WWE_Creative We’re thinking of calling @RandyOrton ‘s finishing kick the Tam-punt. #RAWTonight
2011 WWE Hall of Fame – Celebrity Wing inductee: Drew Carey! Yet nobody points out that Carey eliminated BOTH Hardyz from the Royal Rumble. Well, ok, they eliminated each other – but he was in the ring, dammit!
Micheal Cole asks for our attention once again. He tells us that he’s going to use the Ankle Lock to beat Jerry Lawler, and says that his attack on JR earlier was a Slobberknocker.
Still to come it’s John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio!
Trish Stratus and Snooki walk backstage, where Zack Ryder asks Snooki how she likes his situation. She says WooWooWoo, it’s pretty solid, as she pokes his abs.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@WWE_Creative Gonna go out on a limb and assume that’s not the only poking that’ll happen between @Sn00ki and @ZackRyder tonight. #RAWTonight
@onecountkickout Dunno why people are bothered by Carey being in the HOF. Its been apparent for years this isn’t a REAL Hall of Fame. #WWE
Justin Roberts introduces Snooki, and now the star of the only show that beats Monday Night RAW in the ratings is on Monday Night RAW. And her head barely clears the top rope. She’s about as tall as Ariel Winter. Anyways. She’s excited. She’s been looking forward to this all week long. She’s really excited for Trish Stratus to shut Vickie Guerrero up. Snooki sits next to the broadcast booth, when Vickie Guerrero comes out for her match.
Vickie says she’ll not only beat Trish, she’ll be hired to RAW. Before she does that, she has words for Snooki. Never lay her hands on Vickie again, and how dare she steal her spotlight? Vickie says the Rolling Stone cover was hers. She shows what the original cover was supposed to look like – a badly Photoshopped picture of Vickie on a rocket. Trish Stratus makes her way to the ring, a seven time WWE Women’s Champion!
Vickie Guerrero def. Trish Stratus
Vickie stretches to start the match, and Trish tries for a quick roll-up, to no avail. Trish chases Vickie around after tearing off her shoe, which Vickie tries to use as a weapon. Needless to say, that backfired. Trish spanks Vickie with the shoe, until Dolph Ziggler interrupts the proceedings. John Morrison attacks Ziggler, taking him out with a corkscrew plancha. LayCool attack Trish (this is apparently a no-dq match), and they, along with Vickie, cover Trish, allowing Vickie to get the victory, and a job on RAW.
After the match, LayCool mock Snooki. Michelle goes out to where Snooki is sitting, and Snooki, who is dwarfed by Michelle McRibs, gets shoved back down into her seat. Snooki drops Michelle face first on the apron, then attacks Layla. Trish comes back to take out Michelle, and LayCool, along with Vickie and Dolph, retreat as JoMo celebrates with Trish and Snooki. Vickie says Snooki is in way over her head. She challenges Snooki, JoMo, and Trish to a match against LayCool and Dolph Ziggler, at WrestleMania! Snooki says she’ll see her there!
Up next, it’s John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@WWEsAngel_Nef Dear @TNADixie Sn00kie is doing Wrestlemania. Can you say you guys got mirked? xD lololol #WWE #BWF
A Sin Cara promo airs.
Then a Shawn Michaels promo airs where he talks about The Undertaker’s streak.
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio, as per usual. After Alberto gets halfway down the ramp, Brodus Clay walks out from the back to meet him. Guess Alberto didn’t want Clay stinking up his brand new Bentley. Del Rio is all smiles until John Cena’s music hits. Cena points at each word of the “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect” symbol on his sleeve before he runs down to the ring.
John Cena def. Alberto Del Rio via Disqualification
This is the first ever match between these two. Michael Cole says that The Rock has arrived to the arena in St. Louis as John Cena sends Del Rio reeling to the outside.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@WWE_Creative Our Sin Cara promos last longer than @TNAwrestling ‘s PPV main events. #RAWTonight
Back from break and it’s Alberto Del Rio in charge. Josh Matthews questions Cole about The Rock, but all Cole says is “you’ll see.” “What an amazing night it has been here on Monday Night RAW” is the new “This is the greatest night in the history of our sport.” After the two men trade rights, Cena gets fired up and builds momentum. He hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but before Cena could hit an AA, Brodus Clay attacks, causing the disqualification.
As Del Rio and Clay are beating down Cena…
If ya smellllllllll… What The Rock… Is Cookin’!
The Rock’s music hits, and – wait – That’s not The Rock! It’s The Miz in a skull cap and a Rock t-shirt! Cena tries to fight Del Rio and Brodus Clay, to no avail, and The MizRock nails the Rock Bottom on Cena! Del Rio hits a running enziguri, then leaves Cena for Clay, who nails a fireman’s carry. The Miz does The Rock’s gestures, including his pose on the ropes. Miz tears off the skull cap, then rams Cena’s back into the steel ring post. Miz asks Cena how his road to WrestleMania is, then clobbers him with the microphone. Miz reminds Cena he’s owned him the last three weeks, and he’ll own him every week until WrestleMania – then clobbers Cena again. Miz suplexes Cena onto the steel ramp as little kids look on in disappointment. Cena starts to fight back. He goes for an AA at the top of the ramp, but Miz reverses and drops Cena with a DDT. Miz tosses Cena into the big WWE sign, waits for Cena to get back up, then nails the Skull Crushing Finale right into the base of the sign. Miz’s music hits, and for the fourth consecutive week, he’s gotten the better of John Cena.
Not a bad show. Not bad at all. Now to watch The True Story of WrestleMania on Netflix!
Tonight, the odds have rarely been stacked higher for Edge, as the World Heavyweight Championship is up for grabs – and Vickie Guerrero is the special guest referee. Yikes!
After the worst week in recent iMPACT history (0.5) last Monday, how will the Orlando crew address this on a live to air episode. One thing we can be sure of is that tonight’s episode will be Bubba the Love Sponge free since he got his ass turfed on the weekend for basically… being himself (i.e. total waste of flesh piece of trash). Which “band” member will no show/show up drunk… tonight?
– We kickstart the show with a brief teaser of Hogan and Bischoff in a limo discussing another person coming in and defecting implied from WWE. Tenay and Taz announce that due to feedback, iMPACT will be moving back to Thursday nights. Also, they are adding a new show called TNA Reaction (not sure when this will air, but it sounds like Thursday as well). Hence, admitted failure!
– Nature Boy, Ric Flair’s music hits but it’s Black Machismo, Jay Lethal who comes out. He is not dressed like Randy Savage, rather in a suit and is wearing Flair’s HOF ring. Superstar Billy Graham somewhere feels confirmed in his fairly recent allegations against the fraud the WWE calls a Hall of Fame. And he does a pretty convincing impression (including attacking his jacket).
WOO!
– This is turn brings out Flair and he’s pissed. Lethal apologizes, gives back the ring, and tells Flair that this was something all he’s want to do his whole life… even if for 2 minutes. It’s a pretty endearing little rant, but Flair will have NONE of it. “I’m Ric Flair, I AM WRESTLING!” and slaps him across the face… Lethal slaps back and they go back a forth a bit until Lethal slaps on the figure four. Heels pour out of the back to back up Flair… Abyss and Team 3D clears the ring. Chaos! RVD comes down with a chair and the heels bail. The only bad part about this segment was Flair having his shirt off for most of it…
Yep
– An ad for Deadliest Warrior featuring Jesse James versus Al Capone is tomorrow. And it’s going to be awesome.
-RVD (w/ 3D, Abyss and Lethal) call out Desmond Wolfe, Beer Money!, and AJ Styles to continue the brawl. They do, and I can’t find many non-porn clusterfuck images… so you’ll have to get the idea. This continues for a bit until Hogan makes his way out… Hogan somehow takes out all of the heels with absolutely no moves. Pretty odd.
This ^ is odder…
– We come back, and Hogan more or less books everyone into matches for the night… and since I’ll to those as we suffer through tonight’s episode. Then cut to Sting up in the rafters pacing… more commercials.
– The Beautiful People are in their dressing room applying the pancake and having a bull bitch session about having to defend their titles tonight… eye candy? Yes. Relevant promo? No.
– Doug Williams was stripped of his X Division title (the volcano from last month prevented him to make the last PPV). That was pretty lame on TNA. He lets us know he is still the title holder in his own mind and will face Kazarian at the next PPV event. Him and Kendrick (stoned from the bong rips with RVD earlier) will tag against Shannon Moore and Jesse Neil and their retarded Mohawks… we used to call these types of guys “Punks for a day” in Calgary when going in indie shows back in the early-mid nineties. Punk rock is a mentality, not the way you look. Matt Morgan continues his pluralized reference to himself on commentary.
– In all fairness, this is a fun high spotfest of a match. If you’re like me, this was a highlight of the night. Team Mohawk picks up the win in a far too short match. Samoa Joe comes out post match and takes out both Kendrick and Williams.
Punk for a day!
– Flair and his heel crew meet backstage as Flair tries to “coach” them. Then cut to a Hogan interview about building up the new TNA and whining about Sting going awry. I call this filler. Tenay/Taz + Sting explanation = blah, blah, blah… meh.
– Desmond Wolfe won the fan voting poll for the number one contender shot, which seems about right. Last time I checked, Wolfe and Hardy were both tied for 27% with no one else even close to contending. I guess those internet indie darlings do well when the internet actually gets the opportunity to vote, eh Daniel Bryan? We then cut to Mr. Anderson beating the crap out of your Pope, my Pope… the Pope backstage. Anderson is wearing some fucked up choir boy outfit and takes Dinero’s Pope Glasses and walks off.
I never tire of this picture.
– Anderson makes his way down to address the congregation. As per usual, I will just take in the over-the-top antics that are Ken Anderson. After delivering the gospel in the fashion of a Jim Baker style southern evangelist, the crowd is clearly divided, but loud “We want Pope” chants prevail. This is turn, logically of course, calls for Jeff Hardy whose first retort is “The Congregation and the Creatures of the Night are one and the same.” … … Anderson puts on his WTF epic logic fail face to my own pleasure. This is getting too gothic and emo for my comprehension. Hardy’s challenge to face Anderson is turned down… so Hardy KO’s him and uses his hands to make Anderson’s mouth move like a puppet and accept the challenge at Sacrifice.
AWESOME!
– By the way, after Hardy rips the choir boy outfit off of Anderson, Ken’s trunks say the following on the reverse: “Talk into…” and on the front “…the mic.” I wouldn’t wear these with Orlando Jordan around unless you are REALLY comfortable with your sexuality.
– Like the PatMan, known amongst the inner circles as PatMan of all that is Horny, the Beautiful People are out to defend their Tag and World titles against Sarita, Taylor Wilde, and Tara in an “I Don’t Understand the Stipulations Either” match. “What’s Lacey doing… it’s like the Elaine dance from Seinfeld…”
Good call Taz! AWKWARD…
– The match dissolves fast shortly thereafter allowing for the Beautiful People to retain all of their titles while Tara’s antics take out Sarita and piss off Taylor Wilde. So far, not a lot of action tonight. Hemme addresses the issue with Tara post match… Tara will put her career on the line against Rayne for the title….
– Three way tag match. Team 3D versus Beer Money! versus the Motor City Machine Guns. If there is any justice, the MCMG’s (best tag team out there) will prevail. God hates wrestling fans so…
Charles Barkley@ G: “I’ve got a public speaking function tonight, so I have to skip out on the TNA stuff…
G@ Charles Barkley: “Ok, just let me know when I have to bail you out of jail again…” Click here for stats on celebrities and how many times they’ve been bailed out.
– In what starts out to have potential is ruined quickly… dammit. The “Band” interferes and a DQ is issued. In a turn, Eric Young runs down and appears to have joined the Band by making the Wolfpack gang signs. The MCMG’s pull some awesome double teaming to take out the Band briefly until Beer Money! takes them out. I didn’t see Waltman anywhere out there… so Waltman must be the guy to not show up or show up drunk as I referred to at the start of this retarded review.
– Welcome to the “O Zone” with your sexually ambiguous host Orlando Jordan. Honestly I will try to give this a chance… He brings out Rob Terry as promised last week, in the form of a cardboard cutout. Meh. The real Terry comes out, attacks Jordan, turns his back, Orlando takes him out. Tumbleweeds blow through as nobody is shocked nor cares.
– Monster’s Ball Match (i.e. garbage weapons match) between Styles and Abyss. I’m doing my best to stay awake…. it’s 1 AM here and I worked from 8:30 AM through 11:00 PM today (and did I mention I’ve been drinking?). It’s a pretty decent bout, but for some reason Chelsea comes out to distract? Umm… who? The ruse is used to allow Flair to toss brass knuckles in and allow Styles to use them for a win. And Abyss of course ends up in a pile of tacks as Styles picks up the win. What the point of that was, is beyond me. WEAPONS ARE LEGAL. BRASS KNUCKLES ARE LEGAL. STUPID.
WTF?!?! Weapons are legal!
– Finally, we get RVD versus Desmond Wolfe in what HAS to be our main event. It sure starts off good with some excellent ring action… I’m focusing my typing hands on watching this… ahh crap, another 2 minute match in what could have been epic. Retarded. After RVD picks up the win with the 5 Star Frog Splash, he is attacked by Styles…
– Hogan finds Jarrett beat up backstage… due to Sting. Right, I could give a shit about his heel turn forgot about that.
– Hogan calls out Sting, who comes down to retort… Basically Sting says it’s about Hogan having a “veil of protection” throughout the years and that he loves TNA, blah blah blah. Hogan uses the word “brother” a bunch and pretty much says nothing. Sting cackles, “I’ve always said you’re one of the best chess players of all time […] it’s your move Hulkster.” Hogan throws down the challenge to take his best shot. Jarrett comes down first and attacks Sting with his own bat. Hogan and Jeff argue as Sting gets to his feet…
– The TNA logo comes up, and I’m out.
Charles Barkley@ G: “Ok, I need that bailout G. Hook a brother up honkey!”
G@ Charles Barkley: “Good. I’ve got no time for final thoughts this week anyways…”
sorry guys i had family issues heres the show sorry its so late….
The show starts out with highlights of last week’s show focusing on the sagas going on with Bischoff and Foley and the Orlando Screwjob last week.
After the Impact intro Taz reveals that there will be an 8-Card Stud Tournament at Against All Odds for someone to earn a shot at the TNA World Title and the qualifying matches stat tonight. Hulk Hogan’s music hits and the Hulkster makes his way out to the ring accompanied by Eric Bischoff. Hogan calls Foley out the ring, I thought he was fired? Foley makes his way out with Bischoff looking none too happy. Hogan says things are going good in TNA right now but he wants to nip a lot of things in the bud. He says they are going to work things out between Foley and Bischoff right here and now, but Bischoff butts in and says that he fired Foley last week after he attacked him. Hogan says that a lot of buttons have been pushed so far while they’ve been in TNA and he’s never had a chance to work with Foley, but he sees a lot of good things for TNA in Foley. He sees that they can turn Foley into asset but Bischoff says he laid his hands on him last week. Foley says that last week he wanted to put his hands on Bischoff and he WISHES that he did, but with that tiny little laceration on his head that it’s obvious to everyone that Foley didn’t touch Bischoff. Bischoff says everyone saw him covered in blood last week and asks Foley if he expects anyone to believe him. Foley says they’ll believe it because if he had attacked Bischoff they would have carried him out. Hogan says he’s not saying he doesn’t believe Bischoff but they need to make sense of this situation. He tells Foley to either work it out or walk out.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
In the back Bubba the Love Sponge and Jeff Jarrett arrive backstage and Bubba tells Jarrett not to do him wrong because he “cashed in” his “friendship card” to setup this meeting with Jeff and Hogan tonight.
We cut to Christy Hemme and Mr. Anderson in the back. Before she can really say anything Anderson cuts her off after she introduces him as Ken Anderson. He says she needs to get it right, it’s Mr. Anderson. Anderson takes the microphone from her and says he has to do everything for himself. He says he doesn’t have a match tonight so it looks like he’ll have to book himself. Anderson issues an open challenge to anyone in the back and he doesn’t care if it’s Sting, Beer Money, the Guns, Samoa Joe, the cameraman, or Christy herself. Anderson says he’s praying that it’s Abyss and pleads to Abyss to accept his challenge. He says it doesn’t matter who accepts the challenge because the only name that will matter is….MR. ANDERSON! He started to walk off and when Christy said something he came back and screamed his last name in her face again, priceless.
At ringside Taz and Tenay discuss the 8-Card Stud Tournament. Tonight the qualifying matches begin and the matches are as follows: Wolfe vs. Morley and Daniels vs. Hernandez. They say that the results of this tournament will lead to a ranking (Top 10) system for the Heavyweight Championship going forward.
8-Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match
Desmond Wolfe w/Chelsea vs. Sean Morley
Taz reveals that Desmond Wolfe told him that his valet’s name is Chelsea. You know I just remembered that Morley promised a few months ago that he would be coming back to CMLL soon (after he canceled his planned tour) and it doesn’t look like that will be happening anytime soon. That can’t do TNA and CMLL’s relationship any favors. Wolfe and Morley lockup and Morley locks in a wristlock right off the bat. Morley wrenches in on the arm with a hammerlock but Wolfe reverses the hold and Morley immediately grabs the ropes. Wolfe releases the hold but then he kicks the top rope (the arm was draped over the rope) and immediately hits a cross chop on Morley in the corner. Wolfe chokes Morley with his boot and then argues with the referee as he tries to get Wolfe to stop choking him. This allows Morley to recover and hit a series of clotheslines. Morley follows up with a chop and then he whips Wolfe into the ropes and nails him with a knee to the gut. Morley attempts to whip Wolfe into the ropes again but Wolfe counters into the Hammerlock DDT. Wolfe locks in a knuckle lock and then he places Morley’s hand inside of Wolfe’s own knee and drops back wrenching down on the hand and arm. Morley’s shoulders are down on the mat and it earns Wolfe a nearfall. Wolfe then grabs the leg of Morley and rolls him forward onto his stomach and puts Morley’s other arm (the first arm is still trapped in Wolfe’s leg) around Wolfe’s body and bridges back. He’s pretty much turning Morley inside out (I’m having trouble describing this obviously). Morley is able to free himself and roll backwards to escape the hold. He then grabs Wolfe by the feet but Wolfe kicks him off. Morley comes back with a body shot and then a big right hand. Morley goes for a DDT but Wolfe counters with an arm wringer! Wolfe charges at Morley in the corner now but Morley gets his foot up and then Wolfe goes for a Lariat. Morley ducks it and then hits a big back elbow followed by a clothesline. Morley hits a Neckbreaker but only gets a one count on that one. Morley throws Wolfe into the corner and shoots in for a clothesline, but Wolfe kicks that already weakened arm. Wolfe goes for the Jawbreaker Lariat but Morley counters it into a Half Nelson Slam! Morley climbs to the top for Money Shot but Wolfe crotches him and then hits the Tower of London! 1…2…3 and Wolfe advances to the tournament.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe via pinfall (Tower of London)
In the back Jeff Jarrett walks into Bischoff & Hogan’s office. Bischoff asks Jarrett where his attorney is and Jarrett apologies about all that. He says that Bubba got him to see things different and that he has done certain things in the past few years to break some people’s trust, but he wants to repair everything. Hogan says if this is the ‘old’ Jeff Jarrett that he knew when he first worked with the Jarrett family then he is all for it. Jarrett says if he has to start at the very bottom of the ladder he’ll work his way up. Hogan says they need help right now and Jarrett says he’s ready. Bischoff says he has an idea and says that Anderson just made an open challenge. He says Jarrett wants to get back in the ring and tonight Jeff Jarrett will make his TNA return against Mr. Anderson in the Main Event! Jarrett complains that h hasn’t wrestled in 7 months but Hogan says this is best for TNA. Jarrett says he’ll go get ready and Bischoff tells him good luck. He starts laughing as Jarrett leaves and Hogan says “damn, you’re stiff” and tells him to take it down a notch.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
After the break footage is shown from last week’s Orlando Screwjob. As if I really needed to see that again. Tenay says that Angle has been in TNA offices all week but cameras were denied access.
In AJ Styles lockerroom he and Flair are looking at a bunch of custom suits that Flair has gotten AJ. A beautiful woman is standing there with them as AJ says they’re going to be on a 30 day vacation. Styles is flirting with the girl and she tells she has a friend for Ric. Flair says he’s the ‘oldest ride, longest line’ (oh my god that is hilarious) and AJ says some things never change.
8-Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match
“Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels vs. “Super Mex” Hernandez
Daniels attacks Hernandez as he gets in the ring and puts the boots to the big man. Daniels lights him up with chops and forearms and then he slams Hernandez’s head into the top turnbuckle. Daniels attempts to whip Hernandez into the ropes but he blocks it and puts that massive knee of his into the gut of Daniels. Hernandez grabs Daniels and hits the Delayed Vertical Suplex. Hernandez goes for a clothesline but Daniels ducks it and then goes for a Sunset Flip, but Hernandez blocks it and then picks Daniels up by his throat and hits the Crackerjack! Daniels comes back by raking the eyes of Hernandez and then nailing an Enziguri. 1…2…NO Hernandez kicks out. Daniels puts the boots to Hernandez and then puts a nerve hold on him. Hernandez fights it off with back elbows but Daniels nails a jawbreaker and then an S.T.O. followed by an Asai Moonsault! 1…2…NO Hernandez kicks out! Daniels grabs Hernandez and goes for the Angels Wings but Hernandez counters it with a backdrop. Daniels comes right back with a Running Knee Strike to the back of Hernandez sending him through the ropes and crashing to the floor. Hernandez starts to get back in the ring and Daniels meets him but Hernandez nails him with a shoulder block through the ropes followed by the Slingshot Shoulder Block! Hernandez follows up with a clothesline and then he whips Daniels into the ropes and hits a big Backdrop. Hernandez hits the Corner Splash and then he takes his shirt off and wraps it around Daniels neck. He uses the shirt to Biel Throw Daniels clear across the ring. Hernandez goes for another Corner Splash but Daniels moves out of the way and hits a big Forearm Smash. Hernandez is down in the corner and Daniels charges but Hernandez gets his foot up and kicks Daniels in the gut. Hernandez then grabs the top rope and pulls himself all the way to the top. Daniels destroys him with a huge Uppercut and then he climbs up with Hernandez but he shoves Daniels off the top! Hernandez goes for a Big Splash but Daniels moves and rolls Hernandez up! 1…2…NO Daniels kicks out! He even used the ropes for leverage on that one. Daniels follows up with a series of Open-hand Palm Thrusts to the chest and ribs of Hernandez. Daniels comes off the ropes but Hernandez kills him with a huge Shoulder Block followed by an Overhead Gutwrench Slam! 1…2…3 and Hernandez advances to the tournament!
Winner: Hernandez via pinfall (Overhead Gutwrench Slam)
In the back we see the Nasty Boys and Team 3D walking towards the entrance ramp.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Mike Tenay is standing in the ring and he announces that at Against All Odds the Nasty Boys will face Team 3D for the very first time. He introduces the Nasty Boys & 3D for an in-ring interview. Brian Knobbs says “we are here to stay in TNA” to the camera and I just died a little inside. Security stops 3D from actually getting in the ring. Ray says the Nasty’s waited until 3D was gone to Japan before they came to TNA and trashed their locker-room and then they attacked 3D from behind the next week. He calls them a couple of punks and the Nasty’s like that. He says last week 3D wrapped steel chairs around their heads and the Nasty’s DON’T like that. Ray says everyone wants to know where the hell they’ve been for the last 10 years and then one of them spits at 3D. 3D try t get to them but security holds them back and Saggs spits at them again. Saggs says they’ve always been nasty and they’ll die nasty. Devon says that’s real cute but while they’ve been sitting on their ‘fat a**es’ for the last 10 years 3D has been winning World Tag Team Championships in every company they’ve been in including ECW, WWE, TNA, All Japan, and New Japan. Devon says no other tag team has ever accomplished what they have in the business. Knobbs calls off the names of teams they have beaten: Road Warriors, Steiner Brothers (speaking of Steiner’s where the hell is Scotty?), Hart Foundation, The Outsiders, Harlem Heat, and the list goes on. He says all those legendary teams have felt their wrath and now 3D is on their chopping block and come Valentine’s Day they’ll be knocking their teeth down their throats. Ray says they can take jabs at each other all day but the bottom line is everybody wants to see them go at it. He says Against All Odds it’s on and the fans start chanting for 3D.
In the back Christy is with the Beautiful People and she asks them how they feel about Angelina being back. Velvet says she’s sick of hearing about Angelina and she’s just wallowing in their shadow right now. Madison says she is ‘so 2009’ and BP have moved onto bigger and better (and dumber) things with Lacey. Madison says tonight they will show the world where the Knockouts gold belongs and they do the motion of it going around their waists which causes Lacey to say, “in our bellies?”
In the back Jarrett is getting prepared for his match tonight and looks nervous.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
In the back Lashley is in Bischoff’s office discussing his future with TNA. Bischoff says he talked to Hogan and he agrees with him that it took Lashley a lot of guts for coming in there last week and saying what he said but “you’re fired.” Security rushes in as Lashley looks like he’s about to jump across the desk at Bischoff and they drag him out of the office as Bischoff keeps screaming “you’re fired” at him. That’s the most emotion I’ve seen Lashley put it into anything he’s done in TNA. Bischoff says “taking out the trash” and laughs as they escort Lashley out.
6-Knockouts Tag Team Match
The Beautiful People vs. Awesome Kong, Hamada, & Tara
Taz says that he wishes he died and was reincarnated as the second rope and boy, I’ve never agreed with Taz more. I’d chew off my own arm to…let’s move on. Hamada and Madison will start the match off. Madison and Hamada look like they’re going to lockup but Madison backs off and taunts Hamada and the rest of her team which results in her eating a leg kick from Hamada. Hamada follows up with headbutts and chops and then she locks in an arm wringer and drops her elbow down on that arm. Hamada then puts a knucklelock on and climbs to the top and walks the ropes and springboards off the top with an arm drag! Hamada then locks in a wristlock again but Madison breaks it up with a kick to the gut and then she tags in Velvet. Velvet locks in a wristlock of her own and twists her arm while screaming at her before tagging in the uncoordinated one. Lacey wrenches in on the wristlock and immediately and thankfully tags in Madison. Madison continues to twist on the arm of Hamada with Hamada rolling through to break the hold and finally she hits a drop toe hold and then tags in Tara. Tara hits a series of big right hands on Madison followed by a Scoop Slam and then the Standing Moonsault! 1…2…NO Velvet kicks out! Tara lights Madison up with a chop and then attempts to whip her into the ropes but Madison reverses it and Velvet kicks her in the back as she hits the ropes. Madison hits a big Clothesline and gets a nearfall. Madison throws Tara into the corner and tags in Velvet. Velvet hits a series of shoulder blocks on Tara in the corner and then Velvet chokes Tara as Madison distracts the referee. Velvet whips Tara into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Tara ducks and they grab each other by the hair and slam each other to the mat at the same time. Velvet tags out to Madison and Tara tags in Kong! Lacey comes in with Madison to help out but they both eat clotheslines. Kong tags in Hamada and she delivers a dropkick to Madison. Hamada attempts to whip Madison into the corner but she reverses it and charges at Hamada. Hamada eats Madison up with a Front Kick as she came rushing in and Lacey comes into help but eats a sick roundhouse kick for her troubles! Hamada then hits an Enziguri on Velvet! Tara comes in and hits a Scoop Slam on Lacey and Hamada hits a Moonsault off the top! Tara throws Velvet out of the ring but Lacey hits Hamada in the back with the ugly stick as the referee was dealing with Tara and Velvet. Kong chases Velvet all the way to the back and Madison gets the pin on Hamada!
Winners: Beautiful People via pinfall
After the match BP takes Tara out with the ugly stick and put the beat down on her until Angelina Love runs out to make the save! Angelina takes out both Lacey and Madison and she chunks Lacey out of the ring violently.
In the back Hogan is talking with Hebner. Hogan asks Hebner why he rang the bell last week and Hebner tries to say that Angle hit the mat and he thought he tapped out. Hogan says something is wrong with this and there is a pattern with Hebner. He mentions Montreal and he wants to know the truth. Hebner tells him the truth is Bret didn’t screw Bret, Vince didn’t screw Bret, HBK didn’t screw Bret, he screwed Bret and that’s the same thing he did to Angle! Hogan asks him why and Hebner says it was for the money. He says he got a great big check from Flair and it was well worth it. Hogan says that’s unacceptable and he suspends Hebner indefinitely.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
In the back Flair, holding AJ’s belt, and AJ are talking when 4 gorgeous women walk in. Flair looks like he is in a trance at the girls and Flair starts spitting game to one of the girls. AJ says the other 3 are for him!
We cut to Bubba the Love Sponge approaching Foley. Foley says he thinks it’s likely he and Bischoff will come to an understanding and if not he isn’t hurting for money so it is what it is.
Kurt Angle makes his way out to the ring with a serious look on his face. Taz says that Hogan has placed Angle into a Tournament Qualifying Match. Angle says he’ll never forget he and AJ’s match at Genesis and says it was the greatest match of his life and that’s why he’s confused, disappointed, and most of all pissed off. He said they made an agreement that the match would determine to best in the world and it’s a match that would’ve been talked about for decades to come and one that he could’ve told his grandkids about. Angle says AJ disappointed him, the boys in the back, and the fans. He says AJ went from a hero to “punk a** b*tch” in one night (ouch). Angle refers to last week as the “Earl Hebner Screwjob” and he asks AJ if he really thinks Flair cares about him. He says Flair is using AJ and he’s trying to strip him of his innocence. He refers to Flair’s “dirtiest player in the game” moniker and asks if that’s how AJ wants to be seen. Angle says he has a Qualifying Match for the 8-Card Stud Tournament which means when he wins the tournament it will be Kurt Angle-AJ Styles one more time, but this time he won’t get past him. Hogan’s music hits and Hulk walks out to the ring. Hogan says that Angle accused him of being behind something that he wasn’t and he told Angle that he would get to the bottom of it and he did. Hogan says if it would’ve been 20-30 years ago things would’ve been a lot different and as the leader as TNA he functions on a total business level. He says after what happened last week with Angle spitting in his face that’s unacceptable and if it ever happens again he can consider himself unemployed. He asks Angle if they have an understanding and Angle says 1st off he apologizes for spitting on him. He admits he was wrong but he has to understand that he is leading to TNA and everything that happens in the ring Hogan is accountable for. He apologizes again for spitting on him and shakes his hand.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
As Angle was watching Hogan walk back up the ramp Syxx-Pac came out of nowhere and attacked him from behind! Pac lays kicks in to Angle and then Hall comes in as well and they trade shots on Angle! Pac hits the Snap Leg Drop on Angle and then Hall continues to put the boots to him!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
A replay of what just went down with Hall & Syxx-Pac jumping Angle is shown. In the back Pac and Hall are celebrating beating Angle up as security is escorting them out of the building and Hall says “see ya next week” while Pac says “damn right you’ll see us next week.” Tenay questions if you could take a worse path than what Pac and Hall have taken to try and get TNA contracts.
6-Man X-Division Tag Match
Motor City Machine Guns & Brian Kendrick vs. Generation Me & Amazing Red
This is Kendrick’s Impact debut and the first time we’ve seen him since his debut at Genesis. This is Generation Me’s first match since their upset win over the Guns a few weeks ago. Kendrick violently attacks Red as he gets in the ring throwing forearms and knees at Red. Kendrick charges Red in the corner Red moves out of the way! Kendrick rushes him again but again Red ducks it and Kendrick eats the turnbuckles. Red follows up with the Double-tap Dropkick in the corner and the Guns want a tag but Kendrick refuses and eats another dropkick from Red! Both Guns tag Kendrick’s back and they jump in the ring and whip Red into the corner. Sabin whips Shelley into Red but he gets his boot up and then hits the Rolling Enziguri over the back of Shelley onto Sabin! Red rolls over tags in Generation Me (I could tell which one actually got the tag). GM whip Shelley into the ropes and hit a Double Back Kick and then Jeremy lifts Max up into an Elevated Dropkick on Shelley! Sabin flies in with a Springboard attempt but Max catches him in midair and hits a Gutbuster and holds him over his knee and Jeremy hits the Corkscrew Neckbreaker over the knee of Max! Max covers Sabin and gets a nearfall. Max hits a series of forearms and hits the ropes but Sabin was right behind him with a Knee to the gut as he turned around. Sabin whips Max into the corner and hits a Flying Forearm and then kneels down as Shelley charges in and leaps off the back of Sabin, but Max ducks and then quickly rolls up Sabin with a side roll! 1…2…NO Sabin kicks out and Jeremy tags in now. Jeremy springboards off the top but Shelley catches him in midair with an Atomic Drop! Sabin hits a sliding dropkick to Jeremy’s legs and then Shelley grabs the head of Jeremy and rolls forward holding Jeremy’s head up for Sabin to dropkick the hell out of his face! Sabin covers Jeremy and gets a nearfall! The fans are way into this match. Jeremy connects with a forearm on Sabin as he played to the crowd and then tags in Red. Red ducks a clothesline and then hits a hurricanrana followed by a spinning heel kick. Red hits a back kick and then goes for Code Red but Sabin blocks it and Shelley knocks his head off with a Superkick as Red was still on the back of Sabin! Shelley kneels down and Sabin leaps off his back with a dropkick knocking Max off the apron! Sabin places Red up on the shoulders of Shelley overhead gutwrench style and the Guns hit the Thunder Express on Red but Kendrick blind tagged Sabin as he came off the ropes! Kendrick kicks Red in the head and then rolls him up in a cradle, 1…2…3 and the Guns & Kendrick get the win!
Winners: Machine Guns & Kendrick via pinfall (punt kick)
The British Invasion’s music hits after the match and all 3 of the Brits walk out to the ring Rob Terry case in hand! The Brits put the boots to Red and then Terry Chokeslams him! Terry grabs the briefcase but Magnus stops him and tells him to let Williams cash it in. They scream at him but Terry is resisting.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Williams and Red are wrestling!
TNA X-Division Championship
Amazing Red (c) vs. Doug Williams
Red hits the Red Eye off the top on Williams! 1…2…NO Williams kicks out! They show that Terry finally gave into Magnus in giving Williams the shot. Back to live action Red climbs to the top but Williams grabs him from behind and hits the Chaos Theory! 1…2…3 and Williams wins the belt!
Winner & NEW X-Division Champ: Doug Williams via pinfall (Chaos Theory)
Rob Terry does not look happy as Brutus & Williams celebrate the win.
In the back Jarrett is stretching for his match tonight.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Bischoff is having his man-to-man with Mick Foley. Foley asks who opened him up and if he paid somebody to do it or if he did it himself. Bischoff tells Foley to let it go but then Foley talks about something that happened at one of his kids birthday parties a few years ago. He says his son took a crap in a tunnel and everyone scattered except one guy that had to clean it up. Bischoff asks him what his point is and Foley says that he would rather be that guy cleaning up crap then working in a company for Bischoff. Bischoff says he understands that given their history and he respects it. He says two people close to him do want Foley here and that’s Abyss and JB. He says he has their careers in the palm of his hand and he might want to rethink his actions for their sake.
Bischoff leaves the office and tells the cameraman to follow him and he walks in AJ’s locker room with AJ and Flair partying with the girls. AJ does the Flair strut and asks which one of the girls wants a ‘shot at the title tonight.’ Flair talks about him being off for thirty days and AJ says after the girls he’ll need it. Bischoff congratulates Flair because they are stuck with him because Flair signed his contract before they took over and Flair ‘has some great attorneys.’ Bischoff says they may have thought they had 30 days off but he has news for them and at Against All Odds is coming up and everybody and that means everybody has to be ready to wrestle. AJ doesn’t pay it any mind and starts flirting with the girls again but Flair took it a little more serious.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Main Event
Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett came out to no music and no pyro, damn. Anderson taunts Jarrett with fake applause and then they play to the crowd with Anderson heeling it up. Anderson and Jarrett lockup and then brawl into the corner before Slick Johnson breaks them up. Anderson goes for a right but Jarrett ducks and connects with one of his own. Jarrett hits another big right and then Slick pulls him off again. They lockup again and this time Anderson locks in a side headlock but Jarrett reverses it until Anderson shoves Jarrett into the ropes. Jarrett answers back with a shoulder block and then another one. Jarrett hits a third shoulder block and then teased a big right hand which causes Anderson to fall backwards and beg off. Jarrett shoots in for another lockup but he eats the knee of Anderson and then Anderson follows up with right hands and clubbing blows to the back. Anderson taunts the “Jarrett” taunts from the fans and then slams Jarrett into the top turnbuckle. Anderson attempts to whip Jarrett into the ropes but Jarrett reverses it and hits a hiptoss followed by another one! Jarrett whips Anderson into the ropes and connects with a dropkick followed by a clothesline that sends Anderson over the top to the floor!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Anderson kicks Jarrett and then throws him off the apron into the ring post! Anderson taunts Jarrett again and then nails him in the head with repeated right hands. Anderson grabs Jarrett by the arm and slams it into the ring steps and then rolls in and out of the ring to break the 10-count. He rolls Jarrett back into the ring and then locks in a hammerlock and follows it up with a Hammerlock Slam for a nearfall. Anderson grabs that arm and locks in an armlock really working that arm over since he slammed it into the ring post. Jarrett is able to fight to his feet with back elbows and then whip Anderson into the corner. He charges at him but Anderson gets his boot up and connects with that same arm and then follows it up by grabbing that arm and slamming it into the mat with all of his body weight. 1…2…NO Jarrett kicks out! Anderson throws a forearm at Jarrett and then whips him into the ropes an goes for a clothesline but Jarrett ducks. Anderson goes for another one and Jarrett ducks again but when he comes back around Anderson locks in a Sleeper on him! Jarrett counts out of the Sleeper with a wristlock but Anderson reverses it back into a Top Wristlock. Jarrett fights it off again and comes off the ropes only to eat a shoulder block for a nearfall from Anderson. Anderson goes to the top rope and goes for the Kenton Bomb but Jarrett moves out of the way! Jarrett blocks a right hand from Anderson and connects with a series of big right hands and then he comes off the ropes for a clothesline, but Anderson counters it into a Mic Check attempt! Jarrett blocks it with back elbows and goes for the Stroke, but Anderson blocks it and hits a low blow as the referee was out of position and couldn’t see it! Anderson grabs Jarrett and rolls him up with a small package! 1…2…3 and Anderson gets the pin!
Winner: Mr. Anderson via pinfall (small package)
In the back we see Bischoff laughing at the monitor and saying “this is great” and then Anderson announces him as the winner. Anderson attacks Jarrett on the outside again and then rolls him back into the ring and hit’s the Mic Check! Another shot of Bischoff in the back is shown and Bischoff says “Jeff, it’s going to be a long, hard climb back to the top.”
The show kicks off with highlights from Genesis including the big heel turn of AJ Styles. For those that didn’t see the PPV we have a new look Impact Zone now. There is only one tunnel and it’s in the middle of the stage now with the big screen behind it and a smaller long screen to the side of it. The ramp now extends straight from the stage to the ring like WCW used back in the early 90’s and late 2000’s as well as what CMLL (in Mexico) uses a lot now. Also, there is no longer a 6-sided ring, TNA has switched back to the traditionally 4-sided ring.
We see the door to a limo open up and a slew of females get out followed by Ric Flair and AJ Styles. Styles is even rocking a Ric Flair-like suit. Following that the Impact intro hits.
Ric Flair’s music hits and the Nature Boy makes his way out to the ring with 2 of the beautiful women accompanying him to the ring. Taz on commentary puts over AJ’s decision to join forces with Flair as good for his career. Flair says that some things in life never change and he’s one of them. He says there are 3 reasons he came to TNA and he’ll explain all of them. He says #1 is that he hates Hulk Hogan! He says their lifelong feud will never be resolved until they settle it in TNA. He says #2 is for the past 20 years, people have asked him who the next Nature Boy. He says the answer was always nobody until 6 months ago when he started watching TNA and he saw the great Kurt Angle (who he puts over as the greatest wrestling technician of all time) and Sting (he says Sting is great but he’s not Ric Flair!) in the ring with a young man named AJ Styles. He says he’ll be working him until he leaves the business and says he’ll be the next AJ Styles. Flair says #3 is the story he’s about to tell. He was at the Hard Rock Café in Orlando when a beautiful ‘southern bell’ walked in and in no time they were up in his hotel room. He says all you could hear at midnight that night was this woman hollering “WHOOO!” all night long! He says Dixie Carter jumped up and said “You’re my man!” and asked him to sign a contract to TNA and he responded with a “Whoooo!” Flair welcomes out the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, AJ Styles, accompanied by another beautiful woman. The rest of the women kiss AJ as he gets in the ring and Flair hands him the microphone. AJ screams that he is the World Champion and the fans boo. AJ asks the fans if they have a problem with what they see in the ring right now and he says that doesn’t matter because what he sees is 3 beautiful women. AJ says he’s been in TNA for 8 long years and no matter the level greatness he’s achieved, TNA has never been known as the house that AJ Styles built. AJ says he has done it all in TNA and he is a TNA original. He talks about being one of the first wrestlers to actually sign with TNA and that he’s the only Grand Slam Champion in TNA’s history, but no one gives him the credit for putting TNA on the map. He says they give the credit to guys like Jarrett, Joe, Sting, Foley, etc. and he isn’t taking that from anyone anymore. He says now he’s a jet flying, limousine riding, kiss stealing, wheeling & dealing, son of a gun! Kurt Angle’s music hits and he walks out to the ramp staring a hole through Flair & AJ. Hogan is right behind Angle as well. Hogan says it looks like one big happy family in the ring right now and he said that Genesis would be Angle’s final shot at the TNA Title in 2010, but because of Flair sticking his nose in World Title business he has decided to change his mind because he can! Flair and AJ go nuts in the ring and Hogan tells Flair that he doesn’t run the show in TNA. Hogan says because of Flair’s interference at Genesis he’s going to give Angle another shot at the title and if Flair sticks his nose in the match he will strip AJ of the title and give it to Angle! Hogan says tonight AJ needs to get his game face on because he’s defending the belt against Angle! Hogan says it’s damn real! Angle never looked away from AJ or Flair the whole time they were out there. Huge Main Event tonight!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Mick Foley arrives in the Impact Zone and promptly starts trashing the place! He starts screaming for Bischoff as he walks off. At ringside Tenay & Taz run down the card for tonight which will feature the Nasty Boys official return facing Kevin Nash & Eric Young (teaming for the first time in over a month), Mr. Anderson’s Impact debut, and of course AJ and Angle in the Main Event!
TNA World Tag Team Championships
“Super Mex” Hernandez & “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan (c) vs. British Invasion
This is a rematch from Genesis which saw Morgan & Hernandez take the Brits titles. Morgan and Williams will start the match off. Morgan attacks Williams and Magnus runs behind him and shoves Hernandez off the apron and then jumps Morgan from behind. That allows Williams to gain the advantage with a series of knees and forearms on Morgan taking him to the ground. Williams hits a European Uppercut and then comes off the ropes but eats a back elbow from Morgan. Morgan tosses Williams into the corner and hits his series of back elbows in the corner followed by a Corner Splash! Morgan then lifts Williams up and drops him to the mat. Morgan drapes Williams over the top rope and hits the Leapfrog Body Guillotine. Brutus tries to kick Morgan from the apron but Morgan catches his foot only to eat both boots of Williams as he hits a Sliding Dropkick through the ropes sending Morgan into the guardrail. Brutus drops down to the floor and stomps away at Morgan and then tosses him back into the ring. Williams hits a series of Knee Drops and then tags in Brutus who hits a Slingshot Elbow Drop from the apron for a one count. Brutus puts Morgan in a Sleeper as the Brits continue to beat on Morgan in their corner. Morgan starts to fight to his feet but Brutus flings him to the mat to stop that comeback. Brutus then comes off the ropes but Morgan catches him by the throat. Brutus rakes his eyes and then comes off the ropes again but Morgan hits a Discuss Clothesline out of nowhere! Both men are down now! Brutus is able to tag in Williams and Morgan tags in Hernandez. Williams tried to run over and stop the tag but he was too late and Hernandez nails him with the Slingshot Flying Shoulder Block! Hernandez hits a clothesline on Brutus and then a Corner Splash on Williams. Hernandez then absolutely kills Brutus with a Shoulder Block followed by Over the Shoulder Powerslam for a nearfall. Hernandez whips Williams into the corner but Williams attempts to float up and over Hernandez as he charged in. Hernandez catches him on his shoulder but Williams fights out of it and hooks Hernandez in a waistlock. Magnus runs in and hits a Running Front Kick to Hernandez and Williams nails him with a German Suplex into a bridge! 1…2…NO Morgan breaks it up! Rob Terry walked down to the ring with his Feast or Fired briefcase as all of this was going on. As the referee tries to make Morgan get out of the ring Terry tosses Magnus the briefcase! Magnus swings at Hernandez but he ducks and Magnus nails Williams! Hernandez covers Williams, 1…2…3 and they retain the belts!
Winners & STIILL Tag Champs: Morgan & Hernandez via pinfall
After the match Brutus and Terry argue at ringside and then Terry gets into the ring and tries to explain to Williams what happened. All of a sudden Mick Foley runs in with a steel chair and takes out the Brits! He Double Underhook DDT’s Williams! Not a good night for Doug Williams. Foley screams into the camera that Bischoff needs to schedule an appointment for him because he’s coming to see him TONIGHT!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials footage from Jarrett’s appearance on Bubba the Love Sponge’s radio show this week is shown. When Bubba called him Jeff hung up and then the second time Jarrett told him that TNA was doing fine without Hulk and his crew and then hangs up again.
In Hogan’s office he and Bischoff discuss Foley going crazy and Bischoff says he’ll handle Foley. Hogan says he’ll take care of ‘the other thing’ when Kevin Nash walks in. Hogan says Pac & Hall are out of control and Nash says Pac & Hall are his brothers. He asks for a little slack for them but Hogan says they only have one shot in TNA and Hall & Pac are out there clowning around. He tells Nash to just go out there and win his match with Young as his partner and forget about them.
Before the next match Christy Hemme talks with The Pope. He says he’s studied video after video of “Whoopie” (Jordan) including such hits as “Sister Act” and “Ghost”. He says he’ll expose Jordan tonight and he sees two pimp slaps in the future of Orlando Jordan.
Orlando Jordan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero
This is Jordan’s debut in TNA and his first time on TV in quite some time since his departure from WWE several years ago. Jordan has competed all over the place since leaving WWE including Japan, Europe, and Puerto Rico. Back on the January 4th show Jordan interrupted The Pope’s interview. Dinero is wearing medical tape around his knee putting over the way Wolfe worked over his knee at their great PPV match this past Sunday. Pope and Jordan lockup but stalemate until Jordan hits an arm drag. They lockup again and this time Pope gets a waistlock on Jordan and then transitions into a Full Nelson. Pop then takes a page out of Desmond Wolfe’s book locking in a Cravate (three-quarter headlock) on Jordan. Jordan grabs Pope’s leg and then hits a Back Heel Trip to take Dinero down. Dinero is able to reverse Jordan’s mount and lock in another waistlock. Jordan gets to the corner and Pope taunts Jordan and then breaks his hold. Jordan slaps the hell out of Pope and then Pope takes Jordan down hard and throws a series of big rights at him! Pope then hits two Pimp Slaps and then hits the running Body Guillotine as Jordan was draped over the middle rope! Pope starts to get back in the ring and Jordan charges at him but Pope gets his knee up and Jordan hits it. Dinero sells the knee like he injured it again as he climbs back into the ring. Jordan immediately grabs the leg and hits a Dragonscrew Legwhip! Jordan then hits the Blackout (Reverse STO) for the pin! Dinero continues to sell the knee after the match.
Winner: Jordan via pinfall (Blackout)
In the back Hemme is with Angle. Angle says we shouldn’t even be seeing AJ-Styles again but this isn’t the same AJ either. He says it makes him sick to see what Flair is doing to AJ but AJ is a big boy and he makes his own choices. Angle says tonight just was served when Hogan made this match and he’ll serve up his own justice when he takes the Title back from AJ.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Part 2 of Bubba calling Jarrett. Jarrett tells Bubba to stay out of it and he says maybe it was actually Hogan and Bischoff put WCW out of business.
In the back Eric Young approaches Kevin Nash and says he needs some answers from Nash. He asks Nash if he’s with them or is he with Hall and Pac. Nash says EY is his friend and he chose to be his partner because he saw something in him but he’s been with Pac & Hall for 15 years. EY says this isn’t about reliving history, it’s about making history. Nash says EY will fit right in with them and tonight they just need to take care of business.
A video package is shown of BP talking about Angelina Love leaving TNA and Lacey joining them and then Angelina’s return last week. Madison will be facing Angelina next!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
More stupid footage of Bubba and Jarrett bickering on the radio is shown. Bubba suggests that he and Hogan have a conversation behind closed doors and Jarrett wants Bischoff out of the meeting.
Bobby Lashley is in Bischoff’s office finally getting his meeting. Lashley says he thinks things have gotten way out of hand and he’s had enough of the craziness. He says he just wants to wrestle and he wants to stay in TNA. Bischoff says it takes a hell of a man to admit that he made a mistake. Bischoff says it was smart to not let Kristal run his business anymore and he finds it impressive that Lashley is coming to tell this to his face. Bischoff says he needs to talk to Hogan and they’ll have an answer for Lashley next week.
Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne
Angelina has new entrance music and everything. Angelina eats a forearm from Madison as the match starts and Madison throws several rights at her on the mat. Madison then hits another forearm as Angelina gets to her feet and whips Angelina into the ropes. Madison goes for a backdrop but Angelina stops and slams Madison to the mat by her hair. Angelina then throws rights and lefts at Madison on the mat and continues to stomp on her. Angelina throws Madison headfirst into the top turnbuckle. Angelina attempts to whip Madison into the ropes but she reverses it and goes for a clothesline. Angelina ducks and hits the Botox Injection (Bicycle Kick) for the pin!
Winner: Love via pinfall (Botox Injection)
After the match Angelina strips Madison’s top off of her and then chokes her with it until Lacey and Velvet run down. Angelina kicks Lacey as she gets in the ring and nails Madison with a forearm as she gets back up. Velvet finally gets in the ring and was about to hit Angelina with the ugly stick until Angelina saw her and Velvet stopped before hitting her. Madison then grabbed Angelina by the leg and Lacey took the Ugly Stick and nails Angelina with it! All three then put the beatdown on Angelina and choke her with the Ugly Stick. Velvet slaps Angelina as Madison & Lacey hold her. BP then celebrate over the fallen former leader.
Bubba the Love Sponge is in the back with Syxx-Pac and Scott Hall. Bubba says he googled the term “screw ups” and their pictures were there. He asks them what they were thinking at Genesis. Pac says Bischoff and them know that that kind of stuff happens when they’re around and stuff happens. Hall tells Pac to “take another hit, Cheech” and then says Bischoff & Hogan said they want them to prove themselves and they did that at Genesis. He says at the end of the night he and Pac will be leaving with official contracts.
Hogan and Bischoff are walking towards the entrance.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Hogan’s music hits and he and Bischoff make their way out to the ring. Hogan says there is a lot of business that they have to take care of tonight. Hogan says he’s tired of Hall and Pac and them clowning around. He talks about them doing rock, paper, scissors to see who would team with Nash at the PPV and he wants to seem them wrestle, not the other junk. The Band’s music hits and Hall, Nash, and Pac walk out. Hogan says he just said he’s tired of their crap and the party is over. He tells Hall and Nash to hit the road. Hall and Pac are pissed and they try to get to the ring but security cuts them off and Nash tries to calm them down. Hogan tells them to get out of the building as the fans chant the “good bye” song at them. Now Mick Foley is walking out! Foley tries to get in the ring but security holds him back too and Bischoff screams to them that they’ll talk to in his office.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials security is still trying to drag them out. Finally Nash screams at them to stop and he tells them that he’ll fix it. Hall says Nash never let him down before so they leave peacefully.
The Nasty Boys vs. “Big Sexy” Kevin Nash & “Showtime” Eric Young
I wonder how many fans even remember the Nasty Boys, let alone give a crap about them? Why do I get the feeling that Young is the one that’s about to get buried here? Saggs and Young will start the match off. They lockup and brawl into the corner where Young gets the advantage with some clubbing forearms. Young attempts to whip Saggs into the opposite corner but he reverses it and the momentum flips Young up and over the top rope. Young lands on the apron and hits a shoulder block through the ropes on Saggs and then slides underneath his legs. He goes for a German Suplex but Saggs nails him with a back elbow. Saggs hits a series of nasty rights and lefts on Young in the corner and then whips him into the opposite corner and follows up with a running Clothesline. Saggs is being pretty stiff with Young. I don’t know if it’s him just being himself or what. Knobbs tags in and the Nasty Boys whip Young into the ropes and hit a Double Shoulder Block. Knobbs goes for an Elbow Drop but Young moves and tags in Nash. Nash slings Knobbs into the corner and throws forearms and knees at Knobbs. Nash then throws a series of back elbows and whips him into the opposite corner and connects with a Running Clohtesline. Nash goes for another one but this time Knobbs hits a back elbow and tags in Saggs who hits a clothesline on Nash for a nearfall. Saggs attempts to whip Nash into the ropes but he reverses it and hits a Big Boot followed by a tag to Young. Young hits a Diving Elbow Drop off the top, 1…2…NO Saggs kicks out! Knobbs pulls Nash off the apron on the outside and they start brawling around ringside. In the ring Young continues to throw right hands at Saggs as Knobbs throws Nash into the ring post. Knobbs gets back in the ring and attacks Young from behind. The Nasty Boys jump on Young in the corner and Knobbs rubs his arm pit in the face of Young. Saggs then whips Young into the corner and then whips Knobbs into a Splash on Young. Saggs grabs Young and hits the Pump Handle Slam for the pin!
Winners: The Nasty Boys via pinfall (Pump Handle Slam)
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
During the break 3D attacked the Nasty Boys with chair shots in the back! Bubba says “welcome back to Pro Wrestling!”
Footage of Mr. Anderson (formerly Mr. Kennedy in the WWE) making his debut at Genesis is shown. Mr. Anderson’s music hits and the Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia star makes his way to the ring. Anderson mocks the fans begging him to come to TNA and he says he is NOT in TNA because of the fans wanting him, he’s in TNA because Hulk Hogan called him and said he would get opportunity that he wasn’t given elsewhere (yeah, don’t mention that you were injured every 3 months). Anderson says he could come out and run his mouth about how great he is like everyone who debuts in TNA does but his father told him something when he was a young boy and that is that actions speak louder than words. Anderson talks about hitting Abyss with the brass knucks and how loud his actions were there. Abyss climbs in the ring behind Anderson as he’s talking about how he beat Abyss! Abyss stands behind Anderson laughing and telling the fans to be quiet as Anderson continues to run his mouth about Abyss. Anderson says he didn’t realize how big Abyss was but he also didn’t realize how stupid and clumsy he was too so he took advantage of it. He claims he beat Abyss clean. Anderson starts to do his little intro but Abyss taps him on the shoulder and then blasts him with a right hand! Abyss is on fire and he hits a Corner Splash on Anderson followed by an attempt at the Black Hole Slam but Anderson grabs the ropes and bails out of the ring. Anderson decides to fight another day .
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
In the back Abyss is appologzing to an irate Eric Bischoff. Bischoff says Hogan likes Abyss which is the only reason he still has a job. Bischoff says this is the 2nd time in a week he’s screwed up his show. Abyss asks Bischoff if he thinks he’ll be okay in TNA and Bischoff says that depends on Foley. He walks into his office where security is standing with Foley. Bischoff asks Foley if he’s alright and Foley says he has a few things to say to Bischoff. Foley says he has things to say for his ears only and Bischoff tells the security guys to leave and Foley can’t believe he’s willing to be there alone with him in this state of mind. Foley says Bischoff is a slick little hustler but he sees through him and he won’t let him destroy what he loves. He says he’ll stop Bischoff by any means and Bischoff asks if that’s a threat. Bischoff tells the cameraman to leave so they can talk alone and he closes the door.
Main Event
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
“The Phenomenal” AJ Styles (c) vs. “Olympic Hero” Kurt Angle
AJ’s new entrance has the lights go out and him appear on the ramp with the pyro going off. Taz says he likes the new AJ Styles and I have to agree. AJ jumps Angle at the bell and throws right after right at Angle but when he turns around to taunt the crowd Angle levels him with a clothesline! Angle follows up with a European Uppercut and then a series of right hands. Angle with another European Uppercut but AJ comes back with a knee and then a chop. AJ attempts to whip Angle into the ropes but Angle reverses it and hits a BIG Backbody drop! AJ decides to bail out to the floor and Angle follows him. AJ then slides back in the ring and when Angle rolls back in AJ puts the boots to him. AJ hits a forearm and then comes off the ropes but Angle hits a Titl-a-Whirl Backbreaker out of nowhere for a nearfall! Angle follows up with a Snap Suplex for another series of nearfalls. Angle throws AJ into the top turnbuckle and then puts the boots to him Stone Cold-style in the corner (that means he stomped a mud hole in him and then walked it dry). Angle attempts to whip AJ into the opposite corner but AJ reverses it only to eat a Diving Clothesline from Angle out of the corner! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out! Angle goes for the German Suplex but AJ holds onto the ropes and hits a low blow as the referee tries to get Angle off of AJ.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
During the break AJ hit the Phenomenal Dropkick (shown during the cut-in during commercials) on Angle. Back from commercials AJ and Angle are trading rights in the center of the ring until AJ pokes him in the eyes and then hits a Chop Block on Angle’s knee! AJ must’ve went and learned a few things from Auburn. AJ actually locks Angle in the Figure Four! Angle’s shoulders are down on the mat and AJ gets a nearfall out of it but eventually Angle is able to drag himself to the ropes to break it. Angle is able to comeback on AJ blocking his punches and connecting with ones of his own and then a clothesline! Angle whips AJ into the corner and charges but AJ gets a foot up. AJ charges at Angle but Angle connects with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Angle then goes for the Angle Slam but AJ counters with an armdrag and then goes for a clothesline, but Angle ducks and hits the Rolling German Suplexes! Angle hit 3 of them on that one and went with a Release German on the last one! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out! Angle goes for the Angle Slam again but AJ blocks it and then ducks a clothesline and hits the Pele out of nowhere! AJ picks Angle up and goes for the Styles Clash but Angle counters with a backdrop. AJ hangs onto Angle for a rollup, but Angle rolls through and locks in the Ankle Lock! AJ fights t get to the ropes but Angle drags him back and then drags him back to the ropes again as AJ almost got to them again. Finally AJ rolls though and locks in an Ankle Lock of his own! The bell rings immediately, what the hell?! AJ is announced as the winner via submission!
Winner & STILL TNA World Champ: Styles via submission (Ankle Lock)
Flair comes out and he along with AJ and Hebner leave. Hogan walks out and is saying something to Angle and Angle screams that it’s “bullshit” and he doesn’t need this. He says he can go back to the WWE! He says “I QUIT!” and then spits in Hogan’s face! Angle continues to scream things at Hogan and Hogan look on pissed at Angle.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
During the break Angle continued to scream obscenities at Hogan and then came to the announce table and grabbed a chair from Tenay and started beating it against the set and then threw it across the stage. Eric Bischoff walks out to the ring with blood coming down is face. Bischoff grabs a microphone and screams, “Mick Foley, you are fired!” to a chorus of boos as Impact goes off the air.
Don Johnson and the dude from Napolean Dynamite host RAW tonight, and The Undertaker has vowed to confront Shawn Michaels over his challenges to a rematch at WrestleMania 26 tonight on RAW! Let’s go!
– The TNA opening hits.
– A video package runs focusing on various TNA stars and how their dream was to become a star in the world of professional wrestling. “This is who I am…this is what I do…” uttered the various TNA stars in the promo. The video package then focuses on tonight’s AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
– A graphic opening hits welcoming us to TNA Genesis. We go live to the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL where a series of pyro goes off above the ring and in the entrance area. Mike Tenay welcomes us to the show in what he dubbed the first TNA PPV of the “Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff era.”
– Hulk Hogan’s music hits and he makes his way out into the Impact Zone along with Eric Bischoff. They have gotten rid of the two entrance tunnels and simply have a big entrance area under a big tron. The ramp also connects to a new four-sided traditional ring as they are ditching the six-sided ring. We see a shot of Brooke Hogan cheering on her father in the crowd. Hogan gets on the mic and says, “Well guys I guess all there is to say is welcome to Genesis!” He says welcome to the brand new Impact Zone (which gets some boo’s). Hogan said he told everyone there would be change and everything would be moving and shaking. The crowd starts a loud “WE WANT SIX SIDES” chant. Hogan said there is no more play pen rings and this is where professional wrestling is meant to be done. He said there competitor likes to refer to themselves as “sports entertainment”, but he is proud to be aligned with TNA where professional wrestling still lives. Eric Bischoff takes the mic and said he knows no one likes change, but change is what they are all about. He said change starts tonight with this ring and there is a hell of a lot more coming our way. Hogan said there is only one last thing to say, “Whatcha gonna do Vince McMahon, when TNA comes for you!”
– Mike Tenay and Taz welcome us to the show and we are going to kick things off with The Amazing Red defending the TNA X Division Championship against a mystery opponent. Red is out first to a big reaction from the crowd in Orlando. Red’s opponent is…former WWE star The Brian Kendrick.
TNA X Division Championship
The Amazing Red (c) vs. Brian Kendrick
Brian Kendrick takes the champion Amazing Red down early on. More armbar takedowns by Kendrick on Red. Kendrick with a camel clutch with forearm shots into a crossface. Red with a big snap huracanrana on Kendrick. Kendrick fires back with a big running spear on Red and then sends Red to the outside with a flying kick to the face. Kendrick goes to work on the knee of Red kicking him off his feet and then applying pressure against the ropes. During the match, Tenay and Taz noted on commentary that Bobby Lashley is claiming he will not wrestle tonight and that they hope to have more on that soon. Kendrick goes up top and Red catches him with a big kick to the head. Red then takes out Kendrick with a huge senton dive off the top turnbuckle. Red then follows that up with a missile dropkick on Kendrick in the ring. Kendrick with a single leg boston crab on Red after Red missed a shot from up top. Red with a kick to the head on Kendrick and rolling armbar. Kendrick with a nearfall on Red. Red gets the pinfall on Kendrick with a springboard Code Red.
Winner & STILL TNA X Division Champion: The Amazing Red
– Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff is with Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman. Bischoff said he appreciates the help with Mick Foley, but reminds them that Nash is the only one under contract. Bischoff said Hall and Waltman need to prove themselves. Hall asks Nash for some help tonight. Waltman asks what about him. Hall and Waltman play rock/paper/scissors on who will join Nash tonight. It looks like Waltman won, but I’m pretty sure everyone is still confused on what just happened.
Sean Morley vs. Daniels
Before the match, Morley got on the mic and said tonight he presents his first TNA Films production for the ladies. Daniels walks out and gets on the mic saying TNA is about wrestling and not the goofy stuff Morley is talking about. Daniels tells Brooke Hogan to shut up when she stands up making some noise at him. Daniels said he already has a review for Morley’s first TNA production and it isn’t a thumbs up. Daniels walks in the ring and flips off Morley. The bell rings and they start brawling. Morley with some big knees to the gut on Daniels into a russian leg sweep. Morley with a pump handle slam on Daniels. Daniels fights back dropping Morley head first off the ropes. Daniels focuses on the throat of Morley hitting a few palm strikes and then sending Morley throat first into the top rope. Daniels then chokes Morley’s throat against the top rope using his legs using the three count to his advantage. Daniels with a springboard moonsault on Morley. Morley fights back with some quick offense and then hits the Money Shot off the top rope to get the pinfall.
Winner: Sean Morley
– A video package runs highlighting the events between ODB and Tara.
TNA Knockouts Championship
Best 2 out of 3 Falls
ODB (c) vs. Tara
Both women exchange some big chops early on. Tara with some big kicks to ODB that is followed by a big kick to the back of the head. Tara with a springboard flipping leg drop on ODB that results in a two count. ODB fires back with a big fallaway slam on Tara. Tara with a rollup on ODB that results in a pinfall.
Winner of Fall #1: Tara
ODB goes after Tara right away powering her into the corner and choking her out. Tara gets ODB locked up in a tarantula sumbission against the ropes. ODB then goes on the attack on Tara on the outside. The referee starts the count and ODB rolls back in to break it up. ODB tosses Tara back in the ring and attempts a few pinfall attempts that all result in a two count. ODB then applies a full body submission on Tara. ODB keeps it locked on, twirls around the ring with Tara and gets into another pinfall with Tara finding a way to kick out. ODB started favoring her chest during the match like something was wrong. Tara then hit the Widow’s Peak suddenly and got the pinfall.
Winner of Fall #2: Tara
Winner & NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara
After the match, we see a few highlights of the match featuring the two falls Tara won in a row. Back live, Tara is celebrating with the TNA Knockouts Championship.
– Backstage, Christy Hemme is with “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero. Dinero cut a promo telling Desmond Wolfe that he better bring it tonight.
TNA World Tag Team Championships
The British Invasion (c’s) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez
We start with Matt Morgan and Brutus Magnus. They lock up and Morgan pushes Magnus away quickly. More quick offense by Morgan on Magnus hitting a big shoulder block. Magnus dodges a chokeslam attempt, kicks Morgan and tags in Doug Williams. Hernandez gets involved and breaks it up. Hernandez gets the legal tag and goes after Williams in the corner. Williams with a running knee to Hernandez, attempts a suplex, Hernandez blocks it, gets Williams up for a vertical suplex, Williams counters off and Hernandez hits a big body splash in the corner. Hernandez takes off his shirt, wraps it around the neck of Williams and tosses him across the ring. Magnus clips Hernandez when Hernandez has Williams up for a powerbomb. Hernandez pulls himself up top, but both Magnus and Williams jump up and take him down in a big superplex. More double teaming by Magnus and Williams on Hernandez with Magnus getting back the tag. Magnus with an abdominal stretch on Hernandez and uses Williams to apply more pressure. Hernandez fights back and Morgan gets the hot tag. Morgan takes out Magnus and Williams quickly. Morgan plants Magnus with a big spinning slam and elbows Williams in the corner. Morgan with a reverse chokeslam on Williams into the corner. Hernandez with a springboard shoulder block on Williams and Morgan takes out Magnus with a clothesline. All four men are down. Morgan with a chokeslam on Williams and Williams somehow kicks out. Magnus boots Morgan in the face allowing Williams to hit a german suplex into a bridge for a close two count. Morgan body splashes Magnus, throws him away and then tosses Williams off the top rope. Hernandez with a Dominator on Magnus and Morgan follows it up with a big running boot to the face for the pinfall.
Winners & NEW TNA World Tag Team Champions: Matt Morgan & Hernandez
After the match, we see highlights leading to the finish. Back live, Morgan and Hernandez are celebrating their win with the tag team gold over their shoulders.
– Backstage, we see Bobby Lashley heading into Hulk Hogan’s office. Abyss is speaking with Eric Bischoff when Lashley pushes him away. Abyss goes crazy and starts attacking Lashley. Abyss then knocks out Lashley and Bischoff said they just ruined their semi-main event. Hulk Hogan walks in and sees what happened. He asks Abyss what he is doing and that this is the last things he needs tonight. Hogan said the match is now off between Abyss and Lashley, but he has other plans for Abyss tonight.
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe
Wolfe was accompanied to the ring by a woman who removed his ring attire. The bell rings and they immediately lock up. Pope breaks it up with a few shots and kicks to Wolfe’s chest. Pope continues with kicks and trips up Wolfe in the corner. Pope goes up top and misses an elbow shot. Wolfe with a unique snapmare into the ropes on Pope. Wolfe does this a second time against the ropes. Wolfe then gets a boston crab applied on Pope. Wolfe keeps the action grounded by applying side headlocks on Pope or laying over his back applying a headlock. The two exchange a few chest chops and Wolfe gets the better of it taking Pope down. Wolfe gets Pope setup for a Tower of London, but Pope counters and takes Wolfe off his feet with a huge running spear. Pope then hits a quick suplex on Wolfe. Wolfe attempts another boston crab, but Pope counters into a nearfall. Pope with a sitdown powerbomb on Wolfe that results in a close two count. Another close nearfall for Pope. Wolfe then connects with his Lariat and gets the pinfall.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe
– Backstage, Jeremy Borash promotes tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship when Eric Bischoff walks up cutting him off. Bischoff asks Borash what he is doing. Borash said he is doing his job. Bischoff said his job is to do whatever he tells him. He tells Borash that he has been pulled off television until further notice. Ric Flair then shows up and has a staredown with Bischoff. Flair then talks with Christy Hemme and said he goes where the greatest talent in the world goes.
– A video package runs highlighting the events leading into tonight’s tag team match between Beer Money and Kevin Nash & Scott Hall.
The Band (Kevin Nash & Sean Waltman) vs. Beer Money
Sean Waltman will be replacing Scott Hall tonight in tagging with Kevin Nash. The bell rings and we start with James Storm and Sean Waltman. Storm gets in a quick jab on Waltman and hits a few arm drags. Storm with a neckbreaker on Waltman and then tags in Robert Roode. Beer Money double team Waltman. Kevin Nash then gets the tag and goes to work on Storm in the corner. Waltman with a quick snap suplex on Storm into a side headlock. Tag back to Nash who drives his knees into the chest of Storm in the corner. Nash starts choking Storm in the corner and then tags Waltman back in who starts kicking Storm down in the corner as well. Storm with a Bronco Buster on Storm in the corner. Nash prevents a hot tag to Roode and goes back to work on Storm. Roode is able to get the hot tag and starts going after Waltman with a series of shots and a big high back body drop. Roode hits Nash with some big right hands. Beer Money then double team Nash and Waltman and do the “BEER…MONEY” pose. Scott Hall is then seen coming down the ramp distracting Roode and Storm. Hall then pulls a fan over the guard railing and starts beating him up as Waltman runs out to stop it. In the ring, Storm catches Nash with a superkick and Roode rolls up Nash for the pinfall.
Winners: Beer Money
– Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff are watching the monitor. Hogan said he is going to call those guys out this Thursday on Impact to settle things once and for all.
– Abyss is on his way out to the Impact Zone awaiting his mystery opponent tonight. The lights go out and when they come back on we see former WWE star Ken “Mr. Kennedy” Anderson making his TNA debut. Anderson gets on the mic and said, “It looks like I crossed the line!” Anderson has a mic drop and introduces himself as “MISSSSSTTTTEEEERRRRR….ANDERSON.”
Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson
The bell rings and Anderson extends his hand to Abyss. Abyss goes to shake his hand and Anderson slaps him. Lots of quick offense by Anderson early on in the match. They then brawl to the outside where Anderson uses the ring to his advantage throwing Abyss up against it. Anderson pulls a steel chair from the crowd and tries to use it, but Abyss counters kicking it away and tossing Anderson back in the ring. Anderson comes back choking Abyss with his boot. Anderson sends Abyss into the corner, gets in a roll up and Abyss quickly kicks out. Abyss favors his left arm when Anderson runs into him with a shoulder block. Anderson takes advantage dropping his weight over the left arm of Abyss. Anderson then works over Abyss’ arm applying more pressure. Abyss eventually fights out and drops Anderson with a big boot. Abyss with a body splash on Anderson in the corner and a big side slam. Abyss attempts a chokeslam, but Anderson breaks it up. Abyss gets Anderson on his shoulders and Anderson jumps off hitting a reverse neckbreaker. Abyss catches Anderson with a chokeslam after he comes flying off the top rope. Abyss has Anderson back up and connects with a big Torture Rack. Abyss with a cover and Anderson kicks out. Abyss leaves the ring and grabs a steel chair. Once inside, Abyss has the chair taken away by the referee. We then see Anderson putting brass knucks on and catching Abyss with a big right hand. Anderson gets rid of the knucks without the referee noticing and gets the pinfall.
Winner: Mr. Anderson
After the match, Anderson gets on the mic and says, “The winner of the match…*shrugs*…*shrugs*…Misterrrrrr…*shrugs…Anderson.” Looks like he was trying to do his best Peter Griffin impression for you Family Guy fans out there.
– A video package runs highlighting tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship between champion AJ Styles and challenger Kurt Angle.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle
The stipulation at hand is that if Kurt Angle loses, he will not receive another shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in 2010. Lots of back and forth exchanges early on with Angle getting the better of Styles and Styles getting the better of Angle. Styles and Angle continue more back and forth exchanges on the mat feeling each other out. Angle with a german suplex attempt on Styles who flips back and lands on his feet. They continue at a rapid pace trying to take each other down and get a few nearfalls. Styles catches Angle with a huge dropkick after a series of counters. Styles with a snapmare and kick to the back combo on Angle. Angle attempts a comeback running at Styles, but Styles catches him with a big elbow and Angle falls to the outside. Styles attempts a springboard flip onto Angle, but stops himself and lands on the ring apron. Angle then trips up Styles who crashes on the outside. Back in the ring, Angle takes Styles down and applies a full body bearhug. Styles fights to his feet, but Angle grounds him with a big backbreaker. Angle continues to work on Styles in the corner.
Styles fights back with a few chops and then both collide in the middle of the ring. Both Styles and Angle are down. We then see Ric Flair walking down the ramp and getting closer to the ring. Flair stands at ringside and looks on as Angle and Styles start going at it again. Styles tosses Angle out of the ring, hits the ropes and hits a big flipping dive to take out Angle at ringside. Angle limps back into the ring and Styles connects with a backbreaker. Styles with a springboard clothesline on Angle that results in a two count. Angle counters a Styles Clash attempt, hits a german suplex, hits a second and then hits a third with a release. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt, but Angle comes back hitting a fourth release german suplex. Styles catches Angle with a big Pele Kick, covers and gets a close two count. Angle then drives Styles into the corner and hits a few shoulder charges. Angle connects with a big clothesline on Styles in the corner, covers and Styles kicks out.
Styles with a snap huracanrana off the top rope on Angle. Styles with a springboard 450 splash, but Angle moves out of the way and connects with the Angle Slam. Angle covers and Styles kicks out. Angle can’t believe it. Angle with a moonsault attempt and Styles moves out of the way. Styles attempts a Styles Clash, but Angle counters into an Ankle Lock. Styles counters out flipping to his back and kicking Angle away. Styles with a springboard body splash, cover and Angle kicks out. Styles attempts another snap huracanrana from the top rope, but Angle counters and hits the Styles Clash on Styles! Styles kicks out. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt into a big spike DDT. Angle misses a charge in the corner and Styles hits an Angle Slam on Angle. Styles covers Angle and Angle kicks out. Styles argues that it was three with the referee. Styles then goes up top, Angle sits up quickly and hits an Angle Slam off the top rope. Angle covers and Styles still finds a way to kick out. Angle with an Ankle Lock on Styles. Styles turns to his back to kick Angle away, but Angle holds on and keeps the Ankle Lock applied. Angle then falls to the mat to apply more pressure. Styles is about to tap out when Ric Flair pulls the referee out. Styles starts tapping, but there is no referee. Angle sees what Flair did and starts going after him. Angle chases Flair around the ring, inside the ring, Flair bails to the ramp and Styles takes out Angle with a clothesline. Flair tosses Styles the TNA World Title and Styles knocks out Angle with it. Styles tosses the belt away, Flair tosses the referee back inside and the referee counts the pinfall.
Winner & STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
After the match, Ric Flair gets in the ring, hands the TNA World Heavyweight Championship to AJ Styles and raises his arm in the air. Styles starts celebrating with Flair. Flair and Styles take turns letting out a few WOOOOOOOO’s. We then see highlights of the match leading to the finish involving the interference from Flair.
Finally – ThinkSoJoE… HAS COME BACK! to reviewing shows. I’ve been trying to get motivated to write about the programming lately, but I’ve been sleeping through most of it. RAW’s been boring, ECW’s been entertaining but I haven’t really been paying a lot of attention to it, and SmackDown hasn’t been bad – but I’m usually sleeping when it’s on. That’s the problem with working overnights, I guess. Anyway, Kofi Kingston will be taking on MVP for the United States Championship tonight, so without further adieu, let’s get started…