2012 Royal Rumble Rite-up
1 CommentGreetings, Bored Wrestling Fans!
The “Royal Rumble” pay-per-view for 2012 is now in the books, and it has certainly polarized wrestling fans. (more…)
Greetings, Bored Wrestling Fans!
The “Royal Rumble” pay-per-view for 2012 is now in the books, and it has certainly polarized wrestling fans. (more…)
The topic of dream matches was raised during Episode 4 of BWF Radio, and it makes for interesting conversation. (more…)
Welcome again folks, its your host Matt B. Wrestle and with me today is WWE former champion and current money maker of Vince’s Empire, John Cena.
Mr. U Can't C Me
M Wrestle: Hey John, so you stated in the wrestling press that the Divas are very important and how you want the fans to start a “Divas Matter” Initiative. How have you progressed?
Cena: Well, Matt for everyone out there who knows I strongly support the division and the women bust their a$$ every day to make their matches work. I believe the fans just haven’t seen how hard they work.
M Wrestle: I think the current trend of thinking is that they are a glorified bathroom break. There a mini intermission as it were.
Cena: Nothing can be further from the truth. We have plenty of new divas coming in who just need to be broken in. You don’t just come in to this business already knowing how to wrestle. They have to have a look that is marketable then the real training can begin.
M Wrestle: Because you’re in the entertainment business not the wrestling business? right?
Cena: Kinda. We still are wrestlers just look at my boy Daniel Bryan, he walks around with a shirt that says “wrestler” on it. Just go to shopWWe. com
M Wrestle: Okay. But before we go off topic your saying they have to have model bodies before being considered a viable option?
Cena: Not really true for all cases but its a start. Just look at Kharma, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Gail and Melina.
M. Wrestle: You are aware that Kharma is preggers, Melina has been fired, Natalya is pretty non existant, Gail quit in protest and Beth is jobbing to Kelly Kelly who has an inate fear of the ring ropes.
Cena: Well, I don’t know where you get your information but Kelly Kelly is not afraid of the ropes. And Beth is a heel. (rubs nose)
M. Wrestle: Problem John? Have a Pinocchio complex?
Cena: What? I’m not a wooden boy!
M Wrestle: (underbreath) So missed the point.
Cena: Huh?
M Wrestle: Nothing. Had to catch a sneeze. So should we look out for Alicia Fox, the Bella Twins and AJ to be the future of the division?
Cena: These are very talented ladies who should help bring WWe to the forefront. To one day even surpass the formers Divas of old.
M Wrestle: You mean Luna, Sable, Trish, Lita, Ivory, Jacqueline and Alundra Blaze?
Cena: Yeah, and who’s Alundra Blaze I think you’re misinformed.
M Wrestle: Yeah. I probably absently inserted a Joshi wrestler.
Cena: Joshi, what?
M. Wrestle: (rolls eyes) Moving on, what is Vince’s grand scheme for the Division?
Cena: He hoping to use them as role models for the young female fans . To be a source of pride. We have many women of different sizes in our division. (rubs his nose) Who all love one another. And respect each other.
M Wrestle: It makes sense look at the Bella Twins and former LayCool between the two they had nothing but love for Mickie James and Kharma.
Cena: Yeah?
M Wrestle: (rolls eyes in an almost Undertaker fashion)
Cena: Matt, you may want to get that checked out.
M Wrestle: Thanks John. Maybe we can go together me for my eyes and you for your nose?
Cena: Okay?
M Wrestle: Hope to see you again soon as Champion.
Next week: On the road with John Morrison.
My Name is Matt B. Wrestle, but you already know that.
Well first off, before we get down to the wrestling… unless you’ve missed it… there are five wrestlers who you will not see on Smackdown tonight (or any other WWE broadcasting) as they’ve been future endeavored. These would be Melina Perez, Gail Kim, Vladimir Kozlov, Chris Masters, and Harry “DH” Smith. Of the lot, I wouldn’t be shocked to see at least on of these people show up in TNA at some point.
Let’s get onto Smackdown then, shall we? Looks like we’ve got seven matches on the slate, which is fine by me.
As you’re all aware, or should be, the WWE Draft was this Monday on RAW. The supplemental draft was yesterday at noon (Eastern time), and I had to leave for work before it was all over. However, my beloved @Niki_Sushi made sure that I knew all the results so that you would all be informed of what was going on.
To Smackdown
The Great Khali (And Ranjin Singh)
Daniel Bryan
Jimmy Uso
Alicia Fox
William Regal
Natalya
Yoshi Tatsu
Ted DiBiase
Tyson Kidd
Jey Uso
Tamina
Alex Riley
Sheamus
To RAW
Jack Swagger
Drew McIntyre
Kelly Kelly
JTG
Curt Hawkins
Chris Masters
Kofi Kingston
Tyler Reks
Beth Phoenix
I don’t know about you, but it looks to me like RAW got robbed a little and got not a whole lot in return. I’m excited, however, to see Drew McIntyre on RAW, as well as both Swagger and Beth. Should be pretty damn good.
Hello everyone! I know I missed RAW last week, and I’m terribly sorry about that, but I’m back tonight! Who was that mysterious man who joined Nexus at the end of last week’s RAW? What wonderful news will we hear from the RAW General Manager tonight? I don’t know, but I did hear a rumor that it’s supposed to be the World Heavyweight Champion, Edge, against the WWE Champion, The Miz tonight. Champion vs Champion! Melina and Natalya are also going head to head for the Diva’s Championship!
Oh yeah! The Royal Rumble is this Sunday! Forty men are going to compete for the first time ever! Thank God I’m not covering it. You all know how I love multiple-party matches. Anyway, it’s bound to be good!
Tonight’s show is brought to you by:
You think you know me…
Damn! I don’t have any Edge pictures to use!
The World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring to kick off RAW for us! He says that he doesn’t feel like waiting. He’s never liked waiting, he’s never had a lot of patience. He doesn’t like waiting at the DMV, for the guy at the supermarket to pay by check, he doesn’t like waiting for the guy in front of him at security at the airport to realize his metal belt is made of metal, and he’s sick of waiting in vain for Michael Cole to stop being a tool. So, why doesn’t the Miz just come out here now–?
“Edge, I know you’re very anxious to have your Champion vs Champion match against The Miz, but I have officially schedule that attraction for later tonight. Fortunately for you, I haven’t forgotten about your disrespect when you were a superstar on RAW. That’s why I’ve arranged a special exhibition for you right now. Whichever one of these men tosses you over the top rope will receive the advantageous position of Number 40 at this Sunday’s Royal Rumble. Ring the bell.”
Jack Swagger, Tyson Kidd, and Drew McIntyre make their way down to try to get the position. Tyson Kidd is quickly eliminated by Edge, and Drew McIntyre takes advantage. McIntyre almost gets Edge out, but Swagger breaks it up and Edge sends him over the top. Now, it’s just McIntyre and Edge, but Edge manages to eliminate McIntyre too!
Edge wins.
Edge takes the mic and thanks the anonymous RAW General Manager for getting his juices flowing. He says he’ll go to the back and get ready for his match with The Miz, but first, he wants to do something. He slowly climbs out of the ring, and says that it’s something he did last time on this show. Then, he asks who here wants to see a smashed laptop computer? The crowd cheers, King says he does, and Cole says he doesn’t. Cole gets up and tries to protect the laptop, trying to talk sense into Edge. But, Edge is a nonsensical, crazy man. Common sense doesn’t work.
Damn. The old Nexus theme is back. I miss Punk’s already.
Punk, Otunga, Harris, McGuillicutty, and the mystery man from last week make their way down to the ring. As they make their way into the ring, Edge stands by the laptop, watching them. McGuillicutty passes Punk a mic.
Punk takes it, saying that in this world, only the strong survive, and the strong survive just not from being strong, they don’t survive just from sheer will power, they survive because they evolve. Last week, it was announced that the Royal Rumble match will have forty Superstars, making it the biggest Royal Rumble match in the history of the Royal Rumble. So, as he sees his surroundings change, he adapts, because he is change. He sees the Royal Rumble expand, so the new Nexus evolves. Last week, we saw the new Nexus expand with the inclusion of the mystery Batista. He was hand-picked by Punk from Cardiff, Wales, and he is Mason Ryan. Funny how Punk’s hand-picked guy kicked him in the face.
Mason takes the mic and says he only has one thing to say: Faith.
Punk says that he doesn’t think he could have said it more eloquently. Faith. These men we see are bonded by faith, and unlike John Cena, and the faithless, fake, poor-man’s Nexus on Smackdown!, their faith, come Sunday, will be rewarded. Because they will unite for the common good, for one common goal, and that is for CM Punk to become the winner of the 2011 Royal Rumble Match. Nexus nods along, but will they stay faithful? Punk says that when he wins the 2011 Royal Rumble, he will not only go on to headline Wrestlemania, but the new Nexus will become the most powerful group the WWE has ever laid eyes on.
We are interrupted by the Corre, made of Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Ezekiel Jackson. Barrett explained on Smackdown! That he is not the leader of this group; it is a group of equals.
Barrett says to clarify something: the only poor man’s Nexus is the new Nexus. The Corre is nothing like the Nexus. It’s not some brainwashing dictatorship, it’s about four equals. Zeke says at the Royal Rumble, they will try to win the match for themselves, they will unite to make sure to eliminate CM Punk. Mason Ryan jumps in front of Punk and gets in Zeke’s face (never a good idea), and the two have a stare down.
“If I’m going to give Smackdown! Superstars an open invitation to come to RAW, they will have to play by my rules. With Teddy Long unfortunately sidelined, I have the authority to make this very special match. Corre member and former Nexus leader Wade Barrett will face current Nexus leader CM Punk. Whoever loses will see himself, and his entire group, out of the Royal Rumble match. And gentlemen, one last thing: The special guest referee for this Barrett vs Punk match tonight will be someone you’re both extremely familiar with. The guest referee will be John Cena.”
So… Who’s more screwed?
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Yeah, Zeke scares me more than Beardtistacles. #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 OMG.. Mason Ryan is the love child of Batista and Wade Barrett!!! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@JonHexLives I’ve finally figured it out. A computer program is the general manager. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar The Corre looks weird without any shirts or armbands. And Ezekiel Jackson just looks scary.
@seraphalexiel We’re the Corre. We promote bad spelling and Heath Slater. Of course you should get behind us
@HitTheRopes Okay, shake the ropes violently, Mason Ryan. Go ahead. You know you want to. #WWE
@kickoutblog Well that worked out best: Swagger, Kidd or McIntyre as #40 would’ve been incredibly anticlimactic. #RAW
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, Mark Henry wins the mini-Royal Rumble.>
John Morrison and Mark Henry vs. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio
The match starts with Rio and Morrison starting it off. The two lock up, and Rio gets Morrison in the corner already. The ref separates them, but Rio kicks back quick, throwing Morrison face-first into the turnbuckle, and then staying on him. He drags Morrison over to his corner and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus takes advantage and starts to throw Morrison into the other turnbuckle, but Morrison fights back hard, putting Sheamus in a head scissors and then hitting him with a dropkick before Morrison kicks out of the quick cover. Sheamus fights back and then tags in Rio. Rio Whips Morrison cross the ring, but Morrison ducks his clothesline and fights back well. Morrison gets advantage over Rio, but Sheamus pulls him out of the ring as Morrison goes for Starship Pain.
<COMMERCIAL>
@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!
@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!!!!
@Niki_Sushi Is anyone surprised? I believe we’ve seen more of Smackdown than RAW for the past two weeks.. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio are the greatest foreign tag team since The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff. #RAW
@TKeep123 That singlet does nothing to enhance Mark Henry’s …ummmm…. masculinity. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Alexx_Raven: Morrison: Once you go black… You never go back.
@kickoutblog Pot O’Gold is the best suggestion I’ve seen so far for a Del Rio/Sheamus team.
We come back to Rio and Morrison in the ring, and Rio has Morrison in a headlock. Morrison fights out, but Rio drops him onto his head, and sends his knee repeatedly into Morrison’s spine. He goes into a quick cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Rio drags Morrison to his corner, but Morrison fights his way back to the middle, only to get a sharp elbow to the spine. Rio tags in Sheamus, and Sheamus plays it to the crow-HOLY CRAP MICHAEL “SOUL EATER” TARVER IS WATCHING BACKSTAGE!
Anyway, Sheamus hits a clothesline on Morrison, and then stretches Morrison out. Sheamus gets Morrison into the middle of the ring, goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus fights Morrison pretty hard, and then gets Morrison in another submission. Morrison struggles to fight out, hitting a swift kick before trying to gain momentum. Sheamus, however, plants Morrison, and goes for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out at two. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, but Morrison hits the flying Chuck. Both men are down in the middle of the ring and their partners reach for them.
Rio and Henry make their way in, and Henry drops his fist onto Rio’s head before head butting him a couple of times. Henry Whips Rio across the ring, and then bulldozes him, going for a cover. Sheamus breaks up the count, and Henry takes exception to this, sending Sheamus into the corner before he clotheslines Rio. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick, but Morrison comes in and hits the flying Chuck again, before hitting a corkscrew move out of the ring. Rio runs in and gets Henry in the spinning armbar thing, and Henry taps.
Sheamus and Alberto del Rio win via submission.
Later on tonight, Wade Barrett and CM Punk will go one on one against one another, and the special guest referee will be none other than John Cena. And the loser? Their whole group is out of the Royal Rumble. But, up next, it’s the Diva’s Championship match!
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog So sayeth the prophecy: “Upon his second coming, he shall watch a Mark Henry match.” #GuardYourSoul
@Niki_Sushi This just in. Soul Eater [Human Name: Michael Tarver] is back, and he’s hungry. #BWF #RAW #SucksToBeYou
@TKeep123 Sure looked like JOMO landed wrong on that knee… #WWE #RAW #BWF
Melina vs Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Random thought: How PG is it to promote a game that “You’re mom’s gonna hate it”?
Natalya and Melina lock up, and Melina shoves Natalya against the ropes before sending her right out to the floor. Melina throws Natalya back in, and slams her head against the mat. Melina keeps control over Natalya in the middle of the ring before going for the cover, only for Natalya to kick out. Melina puts Natalya in a viciously strange looking submission hold, but Natalya fights it and gets to her feet, running Melina into the corner. Natalya beats Melina up a little, and Melina kicks her in the head before Natalya drops her, and then does it again. Natalya went for that spinning clothesline, but Melina takes her down. Natalya takes a beating from Melina, but Natalya grabs Melina’s leg and lock sin the Sharpshooter, bending herself all the way over, and Melina is forced to tap out.
WWE Diva’s Champion Natalya wins via submission.
However, LayCool cuts Natalya’s victory celebration short.
McCool tells them to calm down, and says that they have good news. Layla says that in six days, Nattie’s going to lose some weight. McCool says that she’ll probably have to shop in the plus size division for the rest of her life. They’re not talking about actual body weight, they’re talking about their Diva’s Championship. Layla points out they never got their Championship rematch, and McCool says Sunday, they’re going to bring the Diva’s Championship back from being classless, to being flawless.
Still to come, the World Heavyweight Champion Edge takes on the WWE Champion, The Miz.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi That end was a credit to Melina’s flexibility, as she didn’t snap in half. #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes The way Melina can bend, it just leaves a lot to the imagination. #wwe
@kickoutblog (secretly hoping for Kong to interfere in this match and destroy them both… Sorry Natalya)
@KeepItFiveStar And here we go! The slap happy Melina vs. the awkward screaming Natalya!
@JonHexLives Best. Sharpshooter. Ever. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Shouldn’t Beth Phoenix be getting title shots? She’s actually been winning
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, CM Punk vs John Cena, and Mason Ryan appears.>
Backstage, Otunga is stirring up more trouble, and is pointing out that if Punk loses, then they’re all screwed. Punk says that he’s sensing a lot of negative energy, and he doesn’t like it. Punk point sout that last week he made a sacrifice, to Mason Ryan, and took a kick in the face to beat John Cena. Come Sunday, Ryan will make his sacrifice, as will all of them, to sacrifice their spot to win the Royal Rumble match, to insure that he does. He says that when he wins, when he main events Wrestlemania, all of their lives change. Punk breaks off and looks at Husky. Harris says that there are forty people in the Royal Rumble match. What if Punk comes out first, and the Nexus doesn’t come until, say, 20th, and he’s already eliminated? Ryan tells him CM Punk will not be eliminated. Punk tells them to maintain the Corre so he can beat Nexus. Punk says that he doesn’t expect Cena to LET him win, he’s going to win because he’s better. Besides, Barrett has been making Cena’s life hell. He then tells them to have faith, and then tells them to take a knee. He extends his fist, and the others do as well.
Backstage, Josh Matthews is interviewing Cena, who punches him, yet again. Matthews has to be sick of that. Matthews asks what his mindset will be for the main event, and Cena says that as an official he’s recognized for doing the same thing. He says that if Punk wins, he has faith that he will eliminate each and every member of the new Nexus. If Barrett wins, he has to deal with the Corre, and points out that it has an extra r, and it stands for –
He’s interrupted by Miz, who fakes a laugh. Miz says he can’t believe Cena’s attitude about the Royal Rumble match. Winning the Royal Rumble match could be the worst thing that has ever happened to them should they choose to face him. Did Cena not see how he gave Orton the worst beating of his life? Or the beating he’s going to give that second-rate Champion Edge? Cena asks him to try to give him the worst beating of his life. Cena points out that The Miz could lose to Randy Orton, and could lose his rematch, and they must-see their way to a shower. Miz asks Matthews if he thinks he’s going to lose, but Miz interrupts him before he can answer. Miz asks the crowd, and they answer yes. Miz asks Riley if it’s ready, and Riley says to roll the footage. Hey, G! Think you can get me a .gif of Miz and Riley laughing??
<VIDEO PACAKGE: WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley beat down Randy Orton.>
AWESOME!
WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge
Before the match begins, Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero make their way out to the ring as well, and Dolph joins on commentary, with Vickie.
Miz and Edge, start to lock up, but Miz misses two kicks. Edge continues to deftly avoid all of Miz’ attempts, but catches Miz’ foot and gets the advantage, backing Miz into a corner. He Whips Miz across the ring and then sends his elbow into Miz’ face. He kicks Miz in the stomach, and then head butts him. Miz fights back, however, and elbows him. Once again, however, Miz misses his kick. Miz and Edge lock hands and Edge twists Miz’ arm behind his back. Miz tries to lift Edge, but can’t get him up. Edge fights back and sends Miz right over the top rope.
<COMMERCIAL>
@RhymesWithPen Vickie Guerrero looks way better in tights than Jerry Lawler ever did
@kickoutblog I love Dolph Ziggler’s business casual + hoodie attire.
@Niki_Sushi Hey. GM. Do your damn job and chase away Smackdown. Gawd, such a failure turtle. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog The Miz has bigger fish to fry than John Cena anyway, he’s got a World Champion to beat.
We come back to Edge immediately going for a cover on Miz, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz gets the advantage, however, attacking the injured ribs of Edge before hitting him with a kick in the face. Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz puts his knee in Edge’s back and then pulls him back, and I’ma punch this cameraman. I don’t care about Dolph and Vickie, thank you. Edge fights out, however, and Miz drops him right onto his back with his own hair. Miz keeps the advantage, and Whips Edge across the ring, but Edge hits a swinging neckbreaker on Miz. Miz starts to get up and Edge sets up for the Spear, but Miz rolls out of the ring first. Edge, however, follows, and Miz attacks the ribs again, before Whipping him, only to get it countered and for Miz to be sent to the barrier. Riley’s on the outside, keeping an eye on things. Edge throws Miz back into the ring. Edge climbs up to the top rope, and Miz fights him up there, going for a suplex, but Edge holds on, fighting to get Miz back to the mat. Edge gets ready, and hits a cross body on Miz, but Miz kicks out of the cover on two. Edge throws Miz into the corner, and then across the ring into the corner. Edge goes to do it again, but Riley helps Miz get out of the way. Miz gets Edge up and slams him, ribs first, into the top rope.
<COMMERCIAL>
@RhymesWithPen The World Champion is currently wrestling the WWE Champion and all Lawler cares about is making Vickie fat jokes … #IWantWrestling
@JonHexLives Why is Alex Riley wearing Sheamus-tinted boots? #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar TWO COMMERCIAL BREAKS?! *Monocle drops* UNHEARD OF!
@kickoutblog THEY JUST WENT TO COMMERCIAL! COME ON!
Jesus, we come back to Miz going for a cover, Edge kicking out, Miz beating Edge then going for a cover, then Edge kicks out, then Miz starts beating on Edge again. Miz is doing something with the bandage for a minute there, and then wraps his legs around Edge’s ribs. Dolph needs to shut the fuck up. Edge did something and dropped Miz almost literally onto his head. Edge hits something else, but I didn’t see it. Edge is fighting back hard, and this a clothesline on Miz. Edge drops Miz, and then goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz drives his shoulder into Edge’s ribs repeatedly for a minute, before running across the ring, missing the swinging corner clothesline. Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two, and Alex Riley distracts Edge. Edge climbs back into the ring, and Miz grabs him, going for a quick cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz Whips Edge, misses a clothesline, but manages to hit Riley with the baseball slide, before Edge drops Miz back to the mat. Edge crawls back and sets up the Spear, and I think I just heard Dolph drop the headset. I did.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via disqualification.
Ziggler grabs Edge as Edge goes for the Spear, and hits the Zig Zag on Edge. However, Orton is out next, and Ziggler attacks Orton, as well as Riley. Orton hits a vicious scoop slam on Ziggler, and Miz tries to take off, but Orton grabs him and beats him up. Miz runs into the ring, and Orton hits an RKO on Riley, then on Ziggler. Miz comes in and hits Orton in the knees with Riley’s briefcase before he grabs the WWE Championship and heads on out.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh no! It’s never a good day when Miz misses the clothesline
@Lunna1969 i love when Randy does the scoop slam! it always looks so smooth! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@kickoutblog Also, if this whole wrestling this doesn’t work out, Miz should totally sell a licorice candy called Mizzlers.
We come back to Matthews asking Barrett what the difference is between nexus and The Corre. Barrett says that when he first formed Nexus, he got too close to the WWE Championship and lost sight of his original goal, and lost the Nexus. But, every cloud has a silver lining, and he’s a member of The Corre. The Corre doesn’t have leadership issues or against John Cena being the special guest referee. Matthews says that people are pointing fingers at The Corre as being responsible for the attack on Teddy Long. Barrett stops him and says that he wishes Long a speedy recovery. Their goal for today is to make sure that Punk and Nexus are out of the Royal Rumble. As for Cena, Barrett hopes that Cena can respect him as he respects Cena.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan and the Bella Twins vs Ted DiBiase, Maryse, and Alicia Fox
Bryan and DiBiase are going to start it out, and Bryan fights out of DiBiase’s headlock quickly, and Bryan sends DiBiase to the mat. As the men are getting ready to work, Maryse tags herself in, and one of the Bellas and Maryse starts out. Bella 1 sends Maryse to the mat, and Bella 2 distracts Bella 1 from the whole thing, and Maryse takes advantage with a quick pinfall.
Ted DiBiase, Alicia Fox and Maryse win via pinfall.
The Bellas are fighting, and Daniel doesn’t look like he knows what the fuck to do. Get used to it, Bryan.
Still to come, Punk v Barrett.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase, Maryse and Knuckles from Sonic The Hedgehog vs Darling Nikki, that other twin and Daniel Bryan!
@HitTheRopes Wow, two matches involving Divas on one Raw. #Shocked
@Niki_Sushi Aaaaaaaaand there goes the good mood. Nastiness Personified vs Sexy People. Sigh. #BWF #RAW
At the Royal Rumble, Randy Orton and The Miz will go head to head for the WWE Championship! Dolph Ziggler and Edge will duke it out for the World Heavyweight Championship! LayCool will meet Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship, and it is a first-ever Forty Man Royal Rumble Match!
Backstage, the Bellas are fighting each other about who is better for Bryan, or whatever is important to them. Tarver watches them argue for a moment before he walks away, and both are ridiculously unaware of how lucky they are to have not gotten their souls stolen. However, They enter Daniel Bryan’s locker room to see him and Gail Kim kissing. Haha, you whores. Bryan says that he and Gail have been dating for six months. Gail says that with no guest stars around they have nothing to do. Gail gets up in their faces and slaps one, and then is sent in the corner by the other one. Referees have to break them apart, because Gail is gonna break her heel off in their asses.
The new Nexus, without Punk, makes their way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes Michael Tarver continues to pop up in random spots. #wwe
@Niki_Sushi So. Gail kinda just went up about 100% on the ‘DAMN’ meter, ya think? Such a shame that she has bad taste in men. #BWF #RAW
@divadirt “Because there’s no guest stars around, you guys really have nothing to do?” says Gail re. the Bellas. Oh snap! #WWE
@seraphalexiel IF THIS MEANS GAIL KIM WRESTLING, THEN I FORGIVE THAT LAST MATCH
@HitTheRopes Holy hell, something for Gail Kim, yay! #wwe
@KeepItFiveStar OHHHH SHIT! GAIL KIM WITH THE SHOOT COMMENT
This Sunday, Edge and Randy Orton will come together as a tag team once again to take on The Miz and Dolph Ziggler!
Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris with Mason Ryan and David Otunga vs WWE Tag Team Champions Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella with Tamina
McGuillicutty and Kozlov start things off with McGuillicutty losing his mind all over Kozlov. Kozlov fights back, however, and tags in Marella, who drops McGuillicutty to the mat and puts him in a headlock. McGuillicutty fights out of it, however, and sends Santino into the corner. Santino tries to jump up on McGuillicutty, who isn’t there, and McGuillicutty takes advantage, sending Santino to his corner. Harris is tagged in and stops on Santino before picking him up and dropping him real fucking fast. Harris goes for a quick pinfall, but Santino kicks out at two. Harris keeps him in the middle of the ring in a headlock, and then Santino flips Harris over him. Harris takes exception to this, and drops Santino, before going for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Santino continues to take abuse from Harris, who has him in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Santino fights to his feet, and both men are down. Santino manages to make it over to Kozlov, but before he can tag, Harris sends Kozlov off the apron. Santino starts to get momentum, and avoids his moves. He starts to flip Harris, but instead hits Harris’ knee. Santino sets up the Cobra, and McGuillicutty starts to get in, distracting Santino, while Harris takes advantage. Harris hits some kind of harsh-looking move and pins Santino for the win.
Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris win via pinfall.
Otunga takes the mic and asks for a hand for the new Nexus, but gets boos. He says that he wants everybody to give a warm welcome to the man who has sacrificed so much for them, a man who they will sacrifice for this Sunday and help propel to victory at the 2011 Royal Rumble match. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for their leader, CM Punk. As CM Punk makes his way to the ring, Cena is backstage and is handed a referee shirt. He tosses his dog tags to the guy that gave him the shirt and makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Michael Tarver should’ve handed John Cena his ref shirtt.
@TKeep123 All HAIL…..SANTINO !!!! Can Nexus handle The Cobra? #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Wow. That belt has sucked out all of Tamina’s muscle. And for those keeping count, she’s wearing shoes.
CM Punk with New Nexus vs Wade Barrett with the Corre with Special Guest Referee John Cena
Haven’t done this in a while, so:
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SCRAP YER POO!!!
Wait, where’s the ref shirt he was just handed? Oh, it’s under. Okay.
Cena, before the match is even started, sends the New Nexus backstage and away from ringside. The Corre is clapping, but that shit won’t last. Punk looks greatly upset. Cena seems to be distracted by the Cena chants, and sends The Corre backstage next. Told ya so.
Cena finally calls for the damn bell… and then steps between them, and shoves Punk backwards. Punk goes to attack him, and points out that he’s the ref. Then, he slaps Barrett, and points out he’s the ref. So, Punk attacks Barrett instead. Cena stands across the ring and just stands there so that Punk can attack Barrett as he wants. Punk sends Barrett out of the ring and gets in Cena’s face and yells at him, but Cena doesn’t seem fazed. He then sends Punk over the top rope, and Punk runs in, pissed, but stops himself before he hits Cena. Barrett, however, comes back in and attacks Punk, hitting a hard sidewalk slam. Cena then ignores the cover and goes out to the side and signs a few autographs, pretending that he forgot there was a match going on. Punk and Barrett are trying to wrestle, and knock each other down. Cena calls for the bell.
Cena then says that both teams are disqualified for excessive use of profanity on a PG show, and neither team is going to the Royal Rumble. And then Cena laughs. And Punk and Barrett are pissed.
“What we have just witnessed was a blatant abuse of power. Now, I can’t change the referee’s decision of this double disqualification, but I can change the consequences. Therefore, CM Punk, Wade Barrett, and their respective teams, will all compete in the Royal Rumble match Sunday. And in addition, if John Cena does not go into the ring and apologize to both Wade Barrett and CM Punk, right now, John Cena, you will be the one out of the Royal Rumble match.”
Cena’s pissed about this, and Punk and Barrett like this way too damn much. Cena pulls off his ref shirt and walks back to the ring. He slides in and stands between the two of them. He apologizes to Punk, then to Barrett, and then attacks them both. And then The Corre makes their way back down to the ring before the New Nexus follows. Cena watches both teams, but the teams seem more weary of each other than they do Cena. McGuillicutty stars to attack, and then Big Show, Bryan, Morrison, Tatsu, Henry, Kozlov, Marella, and some other people, I’m sure, start coming out. Oh, there’s Truth too.
Anyway, there’s RAW for ya. Decent build up for the Royal Rumble, though I think everyone was busier talking about Gail Kim and Daniel Bryan. Anyway, hope you all enjoy your week.
Smackdown has been up and down throughout 2010. Some weeks it pleasantly surprises this smark, and others it bores the hell out of this here reviewer. Which version of the show will we get coming off of the Hell in the Cell PPV? Only one way to find out.
(more…)
For those residing in the U.S.A., Smackdown has officially moved to SyFy and broadcasts live tonight. Whether or not this move will improve ratings for the B show or not, obviously remains to be seen. WWE will likely pull out all the stops tonight and feature some RAW talent to bolster the viewing audience. Let’s see what in tarnation they’ve done… (more…)
The torture that is Friday Night Smackdown has been lessened somewhat over the past little while… tonight may bring similar stories, or it might just nose-dive. You never can know with this show these days. It’s funny, for years Smackdown is where you went to watch matches in contrast to RAW being segment-heavy and dominated by self-serving power-brokers. Let’s see what the McMahon cohorts have in store for us tonight, shall we?
(more…)
I didn’t post this last night because I really wasn’t that excited about RAW. Anyway, I won’t be posting on next week until Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. I’m not going to be watching RAW. I’m joining my mother and grandmother to go see a show. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s the review!
The Main Event is Cena & Bret Hart vs Jericho & Edge with Nexus as Lumerjacks!
Bret Hart comes out in a Batman shirt and says that he’s upset that Jericho and Edge left and talks about Team WWE. He asks Jericho and Edge to join him in the ring, and says that if Nexus wins at SummerSlam, then everyone loses. Jericho makes his way to the ring, and Bret asks him to rejoin Team WWE, because this is Jericho’s time to make things right. Jericho still refuses, and tells Bret that Bret’s worried about losing tonight, and is frightened. Once again, Bret is screwed. Chris doesn’t want to team with either Cena or Bret, he just wants to dismantle Bret.
You think you know me…
Edge comes out and asks Jericho what’s wrong with him, they grew up idolizing him. Edge says he’s in, goes to attack Hart, Hart goes for Sharpshooter, Jericho pokes him in the eye. Jericho and Edge make their way out of the ring, and Natalya joins Bret in the ring. Nexus is backstage beating up Tyson and David Hart Smith. Wade says it’s not Bret’s day. Bret and Nat leave the rign and run backstage.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar “That’s what you get for not being a Hart, Tyson!” – Nexus
@dasharpshooters Michael Keaton looks like shit. #wwe #raw #bwf
@Niki_Sushi I want Bret to say ‘nut up or shut up’ so Chris can shove the mic in his mouth. #BWF
Medics are backstage with Hart Dynasty, Bret says he’s going to take things under his own hands. Cena stops him and tells him to stay with his family.
AWESOME!!!
United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank The Miz vs Evan Bourne
Miz wins with a Skull Crushing Finale, but Evan had some great offense going, and a pretty sweet looking hurricanrana.
United States Champion The Miz wins via pinfall!
Miz gets mic and says he doesn’t care who has the WWE Championship after SummerSlam, when he’s ready to cash in, he will be the WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s AWESOME. Backstage, Cena is talking to Khali backstage.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Yeah, The Miz just murdered Evan Bourne.
@_MFS_ Bourne does shit like that and yet they still make him job… #WWE #RAW #BWF
@JCenadotcom Cole talking about The Miz requires me to mute the channel…
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Melina’s return.>
Melina vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox
Not a horrible match, but I wasn’t all that impressed.
Melina wins via pinfall.
Khali is backstage with Josh and says that Ranjin Singh’s not here. Josh asks is Khali with WWE or Nexus? Khali says WWE, then jacks the mic and grumbles and mumbles a lot. He then challenges Wade Barrett to a match, said Josh… thankfully
<COMMERCIAL>
@RAWMysteryGM I know what Khali said and he will be punished accordingly for that outburst #WWE #bwf
@ KeepItFiveStar So The Great Khali vs. Glade Berry…?
@ _MFS_ what the fuck was that move supposed to be Alicia cause it looked like absolute shit #WWE #RAW #BWF
@redsandman99 I’m hoping that since Melina won tonight, Alicia wins at Summerslam. I love Melina but there should be proper feud for the title.
@dasharpshooters Dammit Khali you have been in this company for like 4 years and you cant speak english? #wwe #raw #BWF
As a result of Melina’s victory, Alicia will defend against Melina at SummerSlam.
Later tonight, Eve & Gail v Bellas v Maryse and Jillain in some bathing suit match thing, and Sheamus has called out Orton.
Chris Jericho and Edge are backstage complaining about Bret. They say if Nexus loses, it’s because they’re not on Team WWE, and they may have bitten off more than they can chew. Edge says they’ll survive whatever Nexus does, and Jericho says they’re architects and they make things happen. If they take out Cena and Hart, there’s no SummerSlam match, and they’re in the clear.
JoMo and R-Truth talking backstage. They say they got each other’s backs, but they need to find a replacement.
Mark Henry comes up and hears them say they need replacements, they just need him instead of two replacements, and to consider this match his audition. Nexus is watching on a big TV, and Wade nods to them. Everyone but Barrett leaves Nexus locker room.
<COMMERCIAL>
@YourBoyDrew Tweets are being swallowed, it’s like the Bella Twins, are operating twitter for me
@iwcmvp WWEShop.com has an interesting new item. For $35 Michael Tarver will come to your house and make you crap your pants in fear #WWE #RAW #BWF
Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Mark Henry
Henry’s attacked by Nexus before anything can happen.
Sheamus makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Every week, we should place bets to see how long Mark Henry lasts before he gets his ass beat
@JCenadotcom Henry failed the audition then…
@Niki_Sushi Nexus is doin’ drive-by’s now!
@Bruce412 RIP Mark Henry #TeamNexus #WWE #bwf
@dasharpshooters Wait a minute there was a guy walking next to Maryse? I didnt notice. #wwe #Raw #bwf
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Randy Orton def. United States Champion The Miz>
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus to the ring. Mark Henry’s still trying to make it up the ramp, that fatass. Anyway, Sheamus says Randy is talking out his arse, and shows a video package of how he’s not afraid of Randy Orton.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus’ destruction>
Who thinks he’s afraid of Orton? Everyone. Sheamus says he’s afraid of no one (except Nexus… <.<; ) and that he wants to call out Orton. Randy comes out and interrupts him. Orton has something to say first – Sheamus didn’t get in the ring because he was afraid last week. Sheamus blew an opportunity last week, and he’ll do the same at SummerSlam. Sheamus can do whatever he wants, but fact is Sheamus has never beaten Orton. Orton says he’s not Triple H or Cena. Sheamus says he’s not the WWE Champion either, and he won’t be after SummerSlam, and when he beats Orton, Orton will go back to the end of the line, and Orton’ll never get another title chance. Orton says he will beat Sheamus because Sheamus has never beaten Orton, but if Sheamus wants to redeem himself for not attacking last week, Orton says do something about it.
Sheamus, your title matches in the past have been marred with outside interference. Therefore, if anyone interferes in the WWE Champ match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely. Furthermore, I agree with Sheamus. If Randy loses at SummerSlam, there will be no rematch, and he will go back to the end of the line. However, I also agree with Orton. If Sheamus is not scared, then I encourage him to do something about it, right now.
Sheamus goes to walk away, goes to attack Orton, stops, then walks away. Orton attacks instead, Sheamus runs the title into Orton’s face. Sheamus goes for boot, Orton dodges, and delivers a backbreaker to Sheamus. Sheamus is down, Randy backs up, then goes for a punt, but stops short. Sheamus is freaked. Orton rolls out and picks up the Championship
<COMMERCIAL>
@iwcmvp “What the hell, why is that jar of Mayo doing with the WWE title?, MMMMMMM Mayo” – Mark Henry #WWE #BWF
@dasharpshooters Mystery GM should get 2 minutes in the penalty box for instigating. #wwe #raw #bwf
@TheViperRKO951 I think Sheamus just craped himself #RAW
@SinisterAsh What will happen if the GM gets a virus?
@Niki_Sushi One day, the lights will blink and the power won’t come back on.
@KeepItFiveStar “IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!”
@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!
Sheamus is still outside the ring, very pissed off. The Season Two NXT Rookies are in action, and I don’t care.
Three NXT Rookies vs Three NXT Rookies
Uh… The fat one won. O.o Husky Harris.
NXT Rookies win via squishing pinfall.
Sheamus attacks Rookies afterward, hitting the High Cross on Kaval. He then takes a mic and says that it was a message to the GM and Orton, and he promises to still be the WWE Champion next week.
Truth and Morrison make their way to the ring
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Hey you know when this would be a good idea? Tomorrow night on NXT, but I guess we have kegs to carry and fat people to kiss then.
@kickoutblog Sheamus just did to NXT what I wish I could do to whoever is booking this show
@bojeeB Kool Aid man has died, Miracle Whip has lost his cool….
R-Truth and John Morrison vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
I don’t know what happened… I was tweeting.
R-Truth and John Morrison win via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@wnwdotcom: Big win? They squashed two of the most irrelevant workers on the Raw roster!
@ThingsColeSays Since they couldn’t get Will Ferrall, the Bellas walk to the ring with their giant dildos. They will get off one way or another!
@KeepItFiveStar The fans don’t like you R-Truth. They like rap beats and being asked questions.
@iwcmvp Was I the only one who thought that red haired woman in the audience during Truth’s entrance was Heath Slater? #WWE #BWF
@RAWMysteryGM Coming up next The Bikini Contest, featuring surprise entrant Mae Young. Get the lotion ready folks, there will be some tuggin going on #BWF
Nikki and Brie Bella vs Eve Torres and Gail Kim vs Maryse and Jillian Hall
Don’t know, don’t care what happened here. Point is, they were all in bathing suits, and that is the only reason that this was even on. The entrance with the slide was dumb, and Santino and Vladimir couldn’t even save this… Okay, Santino did. I love that guy.
The Bellas win via crap ring work.
Tamina corners, so to speak, Santino, and then let’s him go, but slaps his ass as he walks by. Santion acts kind of embarrassed.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Monty loses to Big Boss Man at SummerSlam>
Khali on his way to ring, but is attacked by Nexus. Everyone saw this coming.
<COMMERCIAL>
@dasharpshooters Whats up with the PG swim wear? Fucking Lame #wwe #raw #bwf
@iwcmvp Santino and Kozlov look like human bottles of ketchup and mustard #WWE #RAW #BWF
@SinisterAsh Bella Twins winning matches make me want to punch a dry wall
@bethsharae Does this mean Khali is out too? I’m crossing my fingers… #Raw
@kickoutblog Weird how those two second backstage assaults are so much more devastating than an actual wrestling match. >_>
@TKeep123 Tamina wants a big old slice of Santino pie! Sweet! Must be the Uni-brow! Beware the Cobra! #WWE #RAW #BWF
Wade says that he was just informed that there will be no Khali vs Barrett match. Nexus will write a new chapter in the WWE after SummerSlam, and after they win at SummerSlam, the balance of power will shift dramatically and permanently. Nexus will beat Team WWE. Skip says they’re going to break Team WWE physically and mentally. Otunga says if anyone in the locker room is considering joining Team WWE, think about what they’ve done tonight, because you’re either Nexus or you’re against us.
Bret and Cena make their way to the ring and Miz comes up. Miz says their team’s in trouble, and they need help. He figures it was just a matter of time before they went looking for him, and he says he wants to hear them ask him to join their team. Bret says fine and asks if he’s in or out. Miz says he wants to hear it from both of them. Cena asks if he’s in or out, and Miz revels in Cena asking him for help before he says he’ll let them know Sunday. Cena says it’s a shame that they may need him.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Something tells me that 3/4 of the Nexus … have no idea what a Nexus is! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@kickoutblog Eat_Souls.MichaelTarver
@kickoutblog Michael Tarver was not given a microphone because if Sacramento heard his true voice, their heads would explode.
@IAmJHPunk Is Bret gonna wrestle in a Batman shirt? #wwe #raw #bwf
Next week Justin Long guest hosts RAW.
John Cena and Bret Hart vs Chris Jericho and Edge with Nexus as Lumberjacks
Cena tossed out, Nexus goes crazy. Jericho tossed out, Nexus doesn’t seem to give a shit, until Jericho hits Barrett by accident, and then Edge tries to help, Bret drags Gabriel in, Barrett drags him out. Nexus takes out Edge and Jericho, Morrison and Truth join Bret and Cena, Nexus gets in the ring. Edge and Jericho back away, then seem to debate whether or not to go back in the ring. Finally, Jericho and Edge rejoin Team WWE. Short brawl between Team WWE and Nexus. Nexus flees best they can, and Team WWE chases then out into the stands
Alright. I’m going to say it. Overall, not a great RAW. The best parts of RAW were the very first match, The Miz vs Evan Bourne, and then Randy Orton and Sheamus’ segment. I admit, the main event got better at the end, building the hype up by making Jericho and Edge return, but the rest of it? Total shit. Just sayin’. See everyone in a week, I hope! If I can’t get to RAW before Tuesday, then it’ll be two weeks! Ciao, darlings!