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Random Randomness

September 26, 2010 11:00 am 1 Comment

Whats up people? I hope everything is all well on your end as well as it is mine and if not, hopefully it’s getting better like mine. But all in all your here and that’s what matters and I should stop rambling and just get on with the article because it just feels weird to just keep going on and on and on while you wait for what I have to say about things. So lets get this show on the road so we can all watch some football or something: (more…)

RAW 9.6.10

September 6, 2010 11:17 pm 1 Comment

I know it’s been a while since I did a RAW review, and I’m sorry. But! I finally have my laptop back, the storm that was here that I thought was going to prevent me from doing this has passed, and I’m in a pretty damn good mood! So, without any further ado, let’s get this thing done, shall we?!

Nexus is already standing in the ring as RAW comes on the air. Barrett says that it is fitting that tonight’s RAW is in D.C., the site of so many historic rallies and speeches. Last week, Barrett said that the Nexus would do something that would be talked about forever, and that’s exactly what happened. They single-handedly, systematically destroyed a WWE institution: The Undertaker.

Otunga says that attacking the Undertaker should put to rest any doubts about the Nexus, and they are the new Phenoms of the WWE. They trimmed the fat with Young, lost Sheffield to injury, and still managed to have the greatest night of their lives. Tarver says that if anyone had done anything as unprecedented, no, if anything could do it, then they would probably sit back and savor that moment for the rest of their lives. But not Nexus. T hey weren’t finished. Later that night, they took out five of RAW’s top Superstars. Matter of fact, Edge and Jericho were so scared, they took themselves out of the match because they wanted nothing to do with Nexus. You know what happened next. Heath says that what happened next was that Slater pinned Sheamus. He repeats this for the people in the cheap seats.

Justin takes the mic and tells him to calm down and well done. But he’s done something more impressive: who in the WWE can say they’ve delivered their finisher to Undertaker and Cena in the same night? He can. First, he hit the Undertaker with a 450. And then later, the same night, he did it again.

What was that, the third time Gabriel’s hit that on Cena? Every time he hits it, it gets more and more satisfying. Cena can see Gabriel, crashing down on his lifeless body over, and over, and over, and over again. Barrett takes the mic back and says that after all that, he personally de-venomized the Viper. He pinned Randy Orton, and that’s just a taste of what’s to come in the WWE. In two weeks, at Night of Champions, he will beat Orton, Cena, Sheamus, Jericho, and Edge to bring the WWE Championship to the Nexus. Mark his words, it will be historic, it will be ground-breaking, and it will be everything he has said-

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

Randy walks onto the stage, a mic in hand. He asks if they want to know what he took away last week. The fact that he took out two of Nexus in less than thirty seconds, but Barrett’s not gonna roll footage of that, is he? Don’t worry, Orton will just do it again. He doesn’t care who he has to pin at Night of Champions to win the title, but rest assured, he’s going to make it his business to hit Barrett with an RKO. Barrett says it’s real tough, and says that if he wants to be a tough guy, he can come in the ring to try to give him an RKO. Randy starts a little down the ramp.

And I quote: “Last week was indeed a historic night for Nexus, as a unit. But tonight, we’ll find out how some of the members fare individually. Tonight, for the first time ever, the master of the 450 Splash, the South-African Sensation, Justin Gabriel, will face John Cena. In addition, Randy Orton, you won’t have to wait until Night of Champions to see if you can hit an RKO on Wade Barrett, because tonight, for the first time ever, the former Bare-Knuckle Champion, the fearless leader of Nexus, Wade Barrett, will go one on one with Randy Orton. Oh, and gentlemen, one more thing: To insure that both matches are fair, Nexus is banned from ringside tonight.”

@KeepItFiveStar It took Randy Orton a few years, but he finally found his smile. I think Shawn Michaels is still looking for his.

@RingsideRants This anonymous Raw GM thing has run its course. Time to reveal who it is, which will likely be a disappointment.

Break the walls down!

And I quote: “Last week, when Chris Jericho and Edge took themselves out of the main event, it was a slap in the face to the WWE Universe as well as to me, the general manager, thus there will be appropriate consequences. Thus, if Chris Jericho and Edge do not win their respective matches, they will be taken out of the six-pack challenge at Night of Champions. And Chris Jericho, your opponent, is this man.”

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison

Jericho takes early control over Morrison, throwing him around the ring. Morrison gets a close cover, but Jericho kicks out. Jericho misses, and Morrison goes for another failed cover. Jericho knocks him down and goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Jericho throws Morrison out of the ring and begins yelling at Cole and Lawler, asking who the GM is.

@bethsharae So Jericho vs Morrison… does this mean Edge vs Truth later? Because you know they treat Morrison and Truth like twins. #Raw #WWE

@_MFS_ Do they really expect me to believe Jericho is going to lose to Morrison? Cause I’m not buying it for even a second #WWE #RAW #BWF

We come back to Jericho holding Morrison in the ring in a headlock. Morrison fights out, but Jericho keeps the control, dropping Morrison back on the mat. Jericho pins, but Morrison kicks out at two. Jericho continues to question as to who the general manager is before going back to beat Morrison. Morrison gets momentum back and drops Jericho with a couple of clotheslines, and then a spinning kick, backbreaker, cover. Jericho kicked out at two. Morrison hits Jericho with a couple of hard kicks, and Jericho attempts to go for Walls of Jericho. Jericho drops Morrison after that, and Jericho misses a Lionsault. Morrison hits a flash kick and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho drops Morrison face first onto the mat, and nearly this the Codebreaker, but Morrison holds onto the ropes. Morrison attempts the running knee, but Jericho moves and goes for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out. He hits Morrison with an insagari and goes for another cover, only for Morrison to kick out. Jericho smacks Morrison around a little bit, mocking him as well, before Irish Whipping him across the ring and running shoulder first into the pole. Morrison misses with Starship Pain, and Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho. Morrison fights toward the ropes, grabs the bottom rope. Jericho lets go and yells at the ref before kicking Morrison out of the ring. He lures Morrison up to the top rope and goes for a suplex, but Morrison knocks him out. Morrison hits Starship Pain and pins Chris for the victory.

John Morrison wins via pinfall.

Jericho is now out of the main event at Night of Champions, and he stays in the ring for a minute after the match. He climbs out of the ring and sits on the steps for a minute, before he walks up the ramp. The crowd has started a Y2J chant as he walks up.

Later tonight, Justin Gabriel will take on John Cena for the first time ever, and Randy Orton and Wade Barrett will square off.

@KeepItFiveStar I know the Danielson fans will disagree but, Chris Jericho truly is the Best In The World.

@Niki_Sushi So… just watching @IAmJericho almost made me bawl. He’s one of the few people that can, just by being silent.

@dasharpshooters “I KNOW YOU KNOW!” #wwe #raw #bwf

Diva’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox for the Diva’s Championship

Alicia comes out with the mic and says that Melina wont’ be competing at Night of Champions, because if anyone’s going to be the “undefined” champion of divas, it will be her, and not Melina. I think Alicia went to leave at some point, and Melina just yanked her ass back in the ring. But, as I expected, Melina retains with that Sunset Split thing she does.

Diva’s Champion Melina retains via pinfall.

Miz looks at something underneath a cover, and says that tonight is all about The Miz. Josh goes to look and Miz smacks his hand, before telling him to get away from him. Miz says that tonight, everyone will see the Road of Awesome.

@_MFS_ The ‘Undefined’ champion? Really? They let her have a mic why? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@dasharpshooters Alicia Fox, people one follow you on twitter so they can laugh at your botched lame tweets. #wwe #raw #bwf

@HitTheRopes It’s okay Alicia, you can be my undefined champ any day. #wwe

@IAmJHPunk I wanna be the UN……defined CHAMPION! #wwe #raw #bwf

@seraphalexiel At Night of Champions, it’ll be Alicia Fox vs Jeremy Piven for the Undefined Championship. Piven wanted to do Summerfest, but alas

Backstage, Edge and Ryder are talking. Edge says that Jericho lost and he shouldn’t have to give up his spot. Edge says that he shoved the ref because he was saying derogatory things under his breath about Edge’s mom, and Edge loves his mom. Ryder says that he loves Edge’s mom too, and he should be Edge’s opponent tonight. Edge says that it’s great because Ryder sucks. Edge says that he wants the general manager to accept Ryder’s challenge, and if he doesn’t, then he’s going to have major problems with his top superstar. And, if Ryder’s music doesn’t play, then the computer is going to be smashed into a million pieces.

Ted is talking to his mom on the phone and Maryse comes in. She says me too, and he asks what’s going on. Maryse says that she went to get her purse and found his note. The note says ‘I want you so bad’, and Ted says he didn’t write it. Why would he write it when he could just tell her, and how would she know it’s for her? What if it was for him? She starts going off in French and he says no French, and he doesn’t understand her. Then, she keeps going, and he says he’s walking away.

Up next, Justin Gabriel takes on John Cena.

@ThingsColeSays LOL. DiBiase on Maryse speaking French: “We talked about this!”

Next week, RAW Roulette returns for the first time in nearly three years, apparently. Awesome.

Justin Gabriel vs. John Cena

Gabriel and Cena lock up, but Cena just flings Gabriel away from him. Cena seems to be mocking Gabriel a little, but Gabriel gets him in an armbar, only for Cena to turn it back on him, getting him in a headlock between his thighs. Cena smacks Justin’s chest before letting him go, and Gabriel gets some sharp hits in, taking momentum back. Cena starts to get momentum, but he runs right into an elbow from Gabriel and Cena is outside the ring. Gabriel went for a cover, but Cena kicked out at two. Gabriel this him a few times, and goes for another cover, but Cena kicks out again. Gabriel throws himself into Cena and then hits a cross body into a cover, only for Cena to kick out at two. Gabriel hits a Russian leg sweep, then locks a submission on Cena. Cena lifts Gabriel, but Gabriel counters once more, going for a pin, only for Cena to kick out at two after a gut wrench power bomb. Gabriel went for a moonsault, but Cena moved out of the way. Shoulder knockdowns turn the tide of the match in Cena’s favor before Cena sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He hits it, and gets Gabriel up on his shoulders, only for Gabriel to hit another leg sweep, dragging Cena to the corner. Gabriel goes up, but Cena is on his feet and hitting Gabriel. Cena climbs up and hits an Attitude Adjustment from the ropes, covering Gabriel for the win.

John Cena wins via pinfall.

@RingsideRants I take back what I said about Gabriel. He’s pulling out some nice moves tonight.

AWESOME!

Miz is in the ring, along with the easel with a drape. Miz says his name is Mike Mizanin, and he has no right to be there. At least, that’s what he was told six years ago, when he was a reality TV star. So, he had to start at the bottom to make his way up to the top, starting out on Tough Enough. He started hearing the voices of Superstars while on Tough Enough, of legends, of fans, asking why he was there. The fact was, Miz refused to leave, of cave into the pressure, and he moved on. He did whatever he had to do get a job. He became the host of Smackdown. He says he could have done better, but the voices just got louder. Instead of asking him to leave, they were telling him to leave, saying he had no talent, there’s no respect for him, that he didn’t belong. Then he formed Be Jealous, and everyone said that he was riding Morrison’s coattails, and if they split, Miz would be gone. But, they did split, and Miz became the United States Champion. But, it still wasn’t good enough, and they called it a fluke. Then, he became Mister Money in the Bank. So, the man that was shunned, can be looked at as the biggest star in the entire company, which leads him to the drape. He asks for a drum roll, and pulls off the cloth to reveal his WWE Magazine cover.

Why is this such a big deal? Because as a child, Miz bought every issue. He’d put them in his bedroom, and dream of getting the cover. Now, it’s happened. Now that it’s happened, he wants to hear it, from the kids, the men, the women, from every single person in the arena. He wants them to stand up, and admit that they were wrong. Miz says he’s the poster child, not Cena, not Orton, him. They can’t deny it, they can’t hide from it. Everyone watching has no choice but to admit that we were wrong, because he’s the Miz, and he has earned the right to say he’s awesome.

Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring. Daniel says hi, and that his name is Daniel Bryan. He tells him to relax and says he’s going to congratulate Miz. They have a lot in the common. No one ever thought Daniel would make it, and Miz says that he hasn’t made it, and hasn’t accomplished anything. Daniel says he’s right. He’s clearly not the superstar Miz is. He just came out to generic rock music not even he can identify, he has a $10 haircut, and he has to show security his ID three times in his wrestling gear to stay. He says that he knows if he faces Miz for the United States Championship, he can beat Miz. Miz agrees that Daniel paid $10 for the haircut, but nothing makes Daniel worthy of facing him for the title. Daniel says that if that match did happen, then next month’s magazine may have a cover of Daniel making Miz tap. Daniel says he can beat Miz, he can make him tap out, and he can become the next United States Champion. Miz says that he doesn’t’ like Daniel, he’s never liked him. Daniel says that he can beat Miz? Miz can annihilate Daniel. Daniel says enough. Him and Miz, United States Championship match, yes or no. Miz says yes. Daniel says excellent, and thanks Miz. Miz thanks Daniel instead, and then Daniel attacks Miz. However, Alex Riley comes in and attacks Daniel. Miz goes to hit Daniel with the briefcase, but Daniel flips him out of the ring, and makes Alex tap.

Daniel then looks at Miz’ cover, running a finger down it. He then kicks it over, smirking at Miz as he does.

@Niki_Sushi So… am I the only one that thinks Daniel Bryan looks like a registered sex offender? #RAW #BWF #shouldicallthecops

@bethsharae I really though Riley was Cole at first… #WWE #Raw

@TKeep123: Daniel Bryon, $10 for that haircut was STILL TOO MUCH! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@dasharpshooters Daniel Bryan: “YES I CAN” #wwe #raw #bwf

You think you know me…

Next week, John Cena will face either Randy Orton or Wade Barrett.

Edge vs The Great Khali

Before the match, Edge makes his way over to the computer after Khali makes his way to the ring. He stands next to it for a while, but he leaves it alone and gets back in the ring. The bell is rung, and then Edge rolls out of the ring, mocking Khali, who obviously doesn’t get it because he’s grinning. He jumps back in the ring to break the count, then goes back out and continues his mockery. He grabs Ranjin, only for Khali to grab him. Khali starts chasing Edge up the ramp, and Edge attacks his knee before running back to the ring, making it in the ring. Khali didn’t.

Edge wins via count out.

And I quote: “Edge, I refuse to acknowledge your cheap count out victory. Therefore, I am restarting this match, and it will now be a no disqualification, over the top rope challenge.”

@KeepItFiveStar Edge with the “Smackdown vs RAW 2010 I don’t wanna play this match so I’m gonna win as quick as possible” victory

@FrankWWEClown Where the hell is @ZackRyder?!?! I call blasphemy! This isn’t fair! I won’t be able to sleep tonight! WHY, WHY, WHY?! #WWE #RAW

@bethsharae …. We get a complete Truth free Raw? #WWE #Raw Please don’t let me have jinxed it..

The ref restarts the match, and Edge is taking a beating from Khali right away. Khali smacks Edge and Edge looks pretty wounded by it. Khali throws him into the ropes, and Edge slides under the bottom rope to get out of the ring. Khali, on the other hand, climbs over the top rope, and throws Edge back into the ring. Lawler points out that this means, technically, that Khali eliminated himself. Edge goes for a spear on Khali, but Khali stops him and throws him between the top and middle rope. Khali goes to get over, and Edge yanks him down by his ankle for the victory.

Edge wins via over the top rope.

Still to come, Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett.

@KeepItFiveStar This is why you should go back to India, Khali. Cause you can’t follow simple ass instructions.

@TKeep123 Y2J gets Morrison….and Edge gets….The Great Stumbling Khali ??? Jericho…you was robbed! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Fullmetal_Ninja: #WWE #RAW When Michael Cole can point out your botch you know you fail. #RAW #FAIL

Night of Champions Rundown!

Kane vs The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship

The Miz vs Daniel Bryan for the United States Championship

Sheamus vs Randy Orton vs John Cena vs Edge vs Wade Barrett for the WWE Championship

LayCool vs Melina for the Unified Women’s Championship

Chris is staring backstage at something and Josh Matthews comes up to ask some questions. Jericho doesn’t answer. Last week, Chris said that if he didn’t become the WWE Championship at Night of Champions, he’d leave. Since he lost his spot in that match, what are his future plans? Jericho says nothing. Josh thanks Jericho for his time, and Jericho doesn’t even move. Morrison sits next to Jericho afterward, and says, “Bad day, huh?” Morrison asks if he still thinks he’s the best in the world at what he does, and tells him not worry and that things will get better. Jericho turns to stare at Morrison. Morrison asks if he understands what he’s saying to him right now.

Sheamus makes his way to the ring to watch the match that’s coming up.

@YourBoyDrew #DEAD at Jericho’s face…yo I’m cryin right now

@TKeep123 Chris Jericho and John Morrison post match seated exchange….Priceless! (Morrison should have offered him a LifeSaver!) #WWE #RAW #BWF

Sheamus, John Cena, and Edge are all on commentary on this match, so I don’t know how well I’m going to be able to keep up.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

The match hasn’t started, and Edge and Sheamus are already arguing. Hilarious.

Randy gets a good momentum on Wade pretty early, hitting some pretty hard-looking hits. Randy brings Barrett to the announce table and slams his head against it. He gets him back into the ring and continues to dominate Barrett. Barrett gets the momentum back on his side with a big boot to the face. Camera man, back to the match thanks. Barrett dominates Orton for a bit with some hard stops, before he begins punching Orton in the face. Barrett drops Orton in a neckbreaker and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Barrett keeps Orton in a headlock for a bit, but Orton drops Barrett onto the mat. Barrett gets a cover, but Orton kicks out. Barrett begins punching Orton a little bit, knocking him back onto the mat. Barrett gets Orton up for Wasteland, but Orton counters with a neckbreaker. Orton takes Barrett down with some clotheslines, then a scoop slam. Barrett, however, rolls to the outside of the ring, but Orton pulls him in, going for the DDT, but Barrett throws Orton out.

Darren Young interrupts, asking if Wade really thinks that he can be kicked out of Nexus and get away with it? Young has news for them. He’s going to show them why he wasn’t the weakest link, but is the missing link. Orton gets back in the ring while Young distracts Barrett and hits the RKO for the win.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

Orton motions for Young to get in the ring, and to come over. Orton then RKOs Young too. Sheamus gets on the apron, and Orton looks at him. Edge went for a Spear, but missed. Orton RKOs him, then Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick. Orton RKOs him too. Cena and Orton stand in the ring, staring at one another. Orton looks coiled to strike, but the two merely stare at one another instead.

Well, the tension is definitely on for Night of Champions, specifically with the WWE Championship and the United States Championship, something I wasn’t really expecting. However, I’m pretty excited to see what’ll happen. And this one was much better than last week’s episode. Until next week!

RAW 8.23.10

August 23, 2010 11:16 pm 1 Comment

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Terribly sorry about missing last week, but I was out with my mom and grandmother, with a surprise visit from my aunt. We went and saw Cats, not like anyone cares… I’m going to shut up now.

Oh, heads up: My laptop screen is… busted, maybe, I don’t know. Something happened, I have no idea what. So, my laptop may be going in for repair soon. What that means is that the RAW review may be up later, because I’d have to take notes while watching it in my room, and then take the notes into the office and type it up on my desktop… Anyway, I’m still working out the kinks and trying to make everything easier. Keep an eye out on Twitter, and I’ll let you know.

Tonight, The Miz takes on John Cena. And what about Nexus? After expelling Darren Young, are they stronger, or are they beginning to crack around the edges?

So, Darren’s out of Nexus…? Maybe. We’ll see.

It’s a shameful thing… lobster head… TOO MANY LIMES! TOO MANY LIMES!

Lots of love to the RAW Tweeters for that one. I love you all.

Anyway, Sheamus makes his way out, and we get a rewind to the Justin Gabriel vs Randy Orton match where Sheamus came out to the ring and cost Randy the match via count out. And Randy demolished him last week outside the ring. Nexus? Not a threat. Sheamus pisses Randy off though. Ha.

Sheamus says that he’s noticed one thing about Americans: their children are spoiled brats, annoying, selfish, and will cry until they get what they want. Look at all the spoiled runts. He calls some random kid a disgrace and I JUST SAW FRANK! Anyway, he bashes a few more kids. He says there’s an even bigger spoiled child in the WWE, and that’s Randy Orton. Orton couldn’t beat Sheamus for the title at SummerSlam, so he attacks Sheamus after the match and on RAW. Everyone in the WWE Universe cheered Orton, chanting RKO RKO! Which they do now, much to Sheamus’ disgust. He says he’s going to burst their bubble, and says that Orton is not the WWE Champion, Sheamus is. Sheamus and the GM haven’t been on the same page, but in four weeks times, Night of Champions is coming up. Orton should be punished for what he did instead of rewarded. He should never get another opportunity at the WWE Championship.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

“Sheamus, believe it or not, I have no problem with you. You have found a way to retain your WWE Championship, and I feel you should be rewarded. Therefore tonight I’m going to do something unprecedented. Gentlemen, will you please bring out the throne.”

Like we need this. Make someone’s ego even bigger… Anyway, there’s a throne now.

“Sheamus, I’m not going to decide your next challenger, you are. Tonight, there will be a series of matches. You will watch them, observe them, and see who impresses you the most. At the end of the evening, you will come to the ring and announce to the world your opponent for Night of Champions.”

Sheamus says there is finally justice in the WWE for him, and thanks the General Manager.

“Sheamus, there’s one other thing. The first of these matches begins right now.”

You think you know me…

Edge makes his way to the ring as we cut to commercial.

@Niki_Sushi It’s official. Whoever Sheamus picks is either going to have a mega push, or a mega burial. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Until I hear Sheamus say “Fella!” my night won’t be complete. #RAW #WWE #BWF

Next week is RAW’s 900^th episode!! Awesome.

Edge vs. R-Truth

So, whose taking bets that someone’s going to try to beat Sheamus with his own throne? I would. Anyway, Truth did decently, but a Spear ended that.

Edge wins via pinfall!

Edge says Sheamus can sit on his stupid little throne, brag about all the people he’s beat, but until he’s beaten a nine-time champion, until he beats the man who led Team WWE to victory at SummerSlam, until he beats the Rated-R Superstar, he hasn’t beaten anybody.

Tonight, The Miz takes on John Cena! And Cody Rhodes is going to be on Warehouse 13 on SyFy tomorrow night at 9 Central!

@kickoutblog R-Truth just broke his hip like a 90 year old that just slipped in the tub. #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi OMFG. Truth did the scissor kick, and all I saw was him in Alicia’s outfit. MY BRAIN NEEDS BLEACHING!!! #BWF #RAW

WWE went to China for the first time. AWESOME.

Sheamus is still sitting on his throne watching everything, and Lawler says that he looks regal. Huh, go figure.

The Great Khali vs. Chris Jericho

Khali manhandles Chris for a bit, but Chris fights back, attacking Khali’s injured knee. Advantage bounces back and forth, and Chris goes for the Codebreaker, but Khali just drops him. Jericho locks Khali in the Walls of Jericho, and Khali taps out.

Chris Jericho wins via submission.

Chris takes a mic and says that he hopes Sheamus wasn’t taking what Edge said to heart because he wasn’t the first Undisputed Champion, Chris is. Edge isn’t the man who just made a giant tap out, and most importantly, Edge isn’t the best in the world at what he does, Chris is. So Sheamus should pick Chris, and asks if Sheamus understands what Chris is saying right now. Khali gets back up and slaps Chris’ chest, knocking him out of the ring.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews John Cena. Matthews asks him to mention what happened last week. Cena says it’s petty and classless, and he doesn’t regret choosing Bryan over Miz. Miz almost cost them the match, and showed his true colors last week by attacking Bryan. Ever since he won the Money in the Bank match, he’s gotten a bigger mouth. Tonight, Cena’ shuts it with an Attitude Adjustment.

@KeepItFiveStar I will pay for Khali’s ticket to get him back to India

@ThingsColeSays Michael McGuillicutty has the “McGuillibuddies.” Michael Cole has “The Cole Miners.” John Cena has the “Purple People Eaters.”

@HitTheRopes I don’t hate Cena and all (and I have yet to look at spoilers) but I hope Miz looks better here than in their last feud. #wwe

@StrikerSays Jericho truly IS the best in the world at what he does, and here’s why: he just made a 5-minute match with Khali NOT entirely virulent.

We come back to Jillian Hall in the ring saying she has been Diva’s Champion before and she’s done it again. She starts singing Afraid by Eminem, and I think Cole was singing too. Thankfully, Melina interrupts.

Jillian Hall vs Diva’s Champion Melina for the Diva’s Championship

Jillian dominates most of this match, and they guess each other’s moves a lot, but no surprise, Melina wins with Last Call.

Diva’s Champion Melina wins via pinfall.

LayCool comes over the TitanTron to try to get Melina’s attention. They say they don’t feel bad at all for attacking her at SummerSlam. They’re going to be at the 900^th episode of RAW next week, and they have a flawless offer that she can’t refuse.

Matthews is backstage with Miz, asking if he wants to respond to Cena’s accusations. Miz says that he nailed Bryan in the back of the head, but what about Cena? Cena put Team WWE at risk the minute he chose Bryan of Miz. After the WWE Championship match, Sheamus was beaten down, and had to be carried out. But did Miz cash in Money in the Bank? No. He was thinking about Team WWE. The very least Cena could have done was talk to Miz backstage. Instead, he tried to embarrass Miz in front of the entire world. Being embarrassed doesn’t sit right with Miz. So tonight, Miz is going to beat Cena, and he will show Cena that there will be consequences for his actions. As for Sheamus, Miz doesn’t expect to be chosen. But, that doesn’t really matter does it? Because Miz can pick Sheamus anytime, anywhere he wants. He might even pick Sheamus tonight.

@legendkiller515 Why do they continue to have jillian sing? #wwe #bwf

@Niki_Sushi NO. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM RAW, YOU DIRTY BLONDE HO! WE JUST GOT RID OF Kx2! DON’T RUIN THIS FOR ME! #RAW #BWF

@JCenadotcom Why do they insist on making Michelle talk? :-

Nexus comes out to the ring, Wade with a microphone. Remember, it’s the Nexus Six now, which doesn’t have the same ring, does it? Sheamus asks what he owes the honor too, but before they can answer…

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

“I requested Nexus come out here to let them know I was highly impressed with their performance last week. As for the ban that says Nexus can no longer compete for titles, that ban has been lifted.”

Sheamus looks upset, and Barrett walks over. Sheamus and Barrett have a staring match before Barrett says their truce is over. With that, they walk backstage again.

Next up is The Miz vs John Cena.

@legendkiller515 sheamus looks like he just seen a ghost…physically and literary #wwe #bwf

@Niki_Sushi God DAMN Sheamus looks pissed! Just how many Superstars pissed in his Wheaties during commercial!? #BWF #RAW

AWESOME!

The United States Champion The Miz vs John Cena

I’m calling it now, as Cena comes out (BRRRRRR SOGGY SHOES!) that Daniel Bryan is going to interfere. Just my theory. Anyway, Miz gets an early advantage, but Cena takes it from him. He goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out, and dodges a move from Cena, sending Cena shoulder-first into the steel pole. Miz goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Miz gets the advantage back, and then Cena takes it back, Irish whipping him across the ring before suplexing him and going for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz gets advantage back with a knee to the face, and then a kick to the stomach. Meanwhile, Cole admits he has no friends. Anyway, Miz hits a leg drop across Cena’s face, and then goes for a cover, but Cena shoves him off. Cena gets the advantage back, and then goes to the top rope, and Miz knocks him off and out of the ring.

We come back to Miz hooked all around Cena in a sleeper, his legs around his waist from behind. Cena backs him into the turnbuckle, and goes for the bulldog, but Miz shoves him off, followed by a boot to the face. He goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Miz goes outside the ring and hangs Cena’s head over the edge, then knees him in the face. He gets Cena under the bottom rope, and then drops him, flinging him into the rope. He goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Miz is watching Cena as he gets up in the corner, and then hits the swinging corner clothesline. Cena gets in another corner, and Miz tries again, but Cena rolls out of the way. Cena hits a shoulder tackle and then gets the momentum back. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Miz, who gets up and is picked up for the Attitude Adjustment. However, Miz hits him with a backbreaker, then a neckbreaker, then goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Cena gets up and Miz attempts the Skull Crushing Finale, but Miz blocks and gets Miz into the STF. Miz reaches for the ropes and grabs the bottom rope to get free.

To give you a break from the block paragraphs, I’ll continue here. Cena goes for Miz, but Miz kicks him in the face. Goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Miz Whips Cena into the turnbuckle and then attempts another Skull Crushing Finale. Cena tries the attitude Adjustment again, but Miz gets out of the ring and away from him. Daniel Bryan attacks from behind, the ref calls for the bell, and Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.

The United States Champion The Miz wins via disqualification.

Cena walks away, and Daniel Bryan gets in and puts Miz in a submission. Miz taps out, and four refs have to pull Bryan off of Miz.

Later tonight, Randy Orton will face John Morrison and Ted DiBiase in a Triple Threat match.

@FrankWWEClown “Get that idiot off him!” -Michael Cole No Cole, you’re the idiot, you’re the idiot.

@Niki_Sushi I now name Daniel Bryan’s submission move. It’s now the ‘Twisted Dick’. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes These two are putting on a good match. Good job @mikethemiz and @johncena. #wwe

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs Jimmy and Jey Uso with Tamina

No idea. I was hoping Tamina would hit on Santino again. Anyway, Vladimir picks up the win.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall.

Afterward, Jimmy (I think) went to attack Santino again, but Tamina protected him and helped him up. Tamina then blows Santino a kiss, and he hysterically ‘gets hit’ by it. I love that guy. Vladimir looks at him like he’s retarded and tries to move his hand, but Santino won’t. Santino says he thinks Tamina likes him.

Sheamus is deliberating on all the matches, even the one he hasn’t seen yet, and JoMo, Randy, and Ted have a match next.

@kickoutblog In King’s defense, I think Tiger Woods might be the only person sleazier than Jerry Lawler.

Sheamus seems to have decided. He’s looking pretty smug in that throne.

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs John Morrison vs Randy Orton

Orton comes out and Sheamus stands at attention! Aaaand no match yet.

@dasharpshooters Yay its Maryse and her bitch! #wwe #Raw #bwf

Sheamus leaves the ring/stage area as Morrison disappeared somewhere and Randy and DiBiase go at it in the ring. There’s Morrison, beating DiBiase to a pulp. Randy and Morrison are in the ring, and Maryse is comforting DiBiase ringside. DiBiase finally comes back to interrupt Morrison’s cover on Orton, and flings Morrison out of the ring. He goes for the cover on Orton, and Orton kicks out. DiBiase gets an advantage on Orton and holds onto it for a bit, gaining momentum over Morrison too. But Orton comes back to get some momentum on both of them, hitting a scoop slam on Morrison, then DiBiase in succession. He then gets DiBiase between the top and middle rope, ducks a kick from Morrison, and DDTs DiBiase. Orton prepares to RKO DiBiase, but DiBiase shoves him into Morrison, who kicks him in the face, and then is sent out of the ring by DiBiase. DiBiase tries to hit Dream Street, but Orton counters. Orton then RKOs Morrison in midair and wins the match.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

DiBiase attacks Randy afterward only to also receive an RKO from Randy. Randy cackles and then Matthews is backstage with Sheamus. Sheamus says he doesn’t need to see anymore of Orton, because he’s already made his decision, and in just a few minutes, Sheamus is going to tell the entire world in that ring.

@TKeep123 If Michael Cole would use “Classic” instead of “Vintage,” it wouldn’t be half as obnoxious. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@legendkiller515 randy does it again…rko in mid air. he is a beast #wwe #bwf

@KeepItFiveStar Oh no!!!!! Morrison got the beard RKO’d off him!!

Sheamus is standing in the ring, and I think something glared off his face and into my eyes, because I went temporarily blind. Sheamus says that he is still a warrior, the Celtic Warrior despite last week. He says that he’s going to defend his title right now, and not wait until Night of Champions. A ref climbs into the ring, and Sheamus says that he’s seen a lot of great competitors tonight. But the only reason he became WWE Champion was because of opportunity. You can’t succeed without opportunity. Despite what he’s seen tonight, he went left field. He decided to make it a Superstar who’s never had a WWE Championship before, a man who could be the next biggest WWE Superstar. His next opponent is Zack Ryder.

OOOH RADIO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!

Ryder comes out and says that everyone all over the world is looking at the next WWE Champion, woo woo woo, you know it.

Zack Ryder vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship

Someone apparently loves Ryder, because he’s finally getting his chance! … Not like it’ll last. Anyway, there’s only like ten minutes left anyway. So, yeah. Sheamus destroys Ryder with the kick thing to the head.

WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall.

Cole makes a lame joke, and everyone hates him more. Sheamus takes the mic and says that there we have it: another successful retention for the Celtic Warrior. Now, he wants to reference some WWE Rules and Regulations. Now, he doesn’t have to defend his title for another 30 days. That means at Night of Champions, he’s taking the night off. He says he may even take the whole month off, go back to Ireland. However, Nexus thinks that’s a bad idea.

We are one, we are one, we are one, we will stand together… until Darren Young loses!

Barrett makes his way down to the ring and says that Sheamus is right, legally. He doesn’t need to defend his title for another thirty days, but Barrett won Season One of NXT. Sheamus asks so what, and Barrett says that he gets a title opportunity at a pay-per-view of his choice. Barrett chooses to take it against Sheamus at Night of Champions.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

“The GM would like everyone to know that he has upheld Barrett’s request: Sheamus will defend against Barrett at Night of Champions, but that’s not all. Earlier tonight, Sheamus, you spoke of opportunity. Well, I’m giving an opportunity to not only Wade Barrett, but to four other deserving Superstars. That means at Night of Champions, Sheamus will defend the WWE Championship in a Six Pack Challenge. Sheamus will not only face Wade Barrett, he will face Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Edge, and John Cena.”

Sheamus shoves Barrett at the others, and they all glare at him, surrounding him. Cena attacks, and then so does everyone else. Sheamus throws Barrett out of the ring, then Jericho delivers the Codebreaker to Sheamus, Edge Spears Jericho, Cena Attitude Adjustment’s Edge, and Randy RKO’s John.

Overall, RAW could have been a little more impressive, but it wasn’t terrible. Hope you all enjoyed it, and I hope to see you next week. Keep an eye on my Twitter (@TheMizMagnet) for more details.

Power Poll 8/18/10: He’s Unstoppable

August 19, 2010 2:16 am Leave a Comment

“Some of you aren’t going to be thrilled about who is at the top of the rankings this week (at least as much as you might be emotionally involved in the results of the Power Poll). “ – Jason Mann, WrestlePerspective

1. John Cena (2)

By comparison, I ranked Cena 6th on my Power Poll ballot, and oddly enough he was still the top WWE guy on there. But, apparently, The Nexus is a bigger threat to the WWE than I thought, and Cena defeating them at SummerSlam and then defeating Darren Young and having him exiled from the group is enough to put him at the top of this week’s rankings.

2. Kane (6)

By virtue of his win over Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam, I ranked Kane number 10 on my ballot. He makes number two overall this week, however, after a surprisingly clean win at SummerSlam and easy dominance over his brother following the match.

3. Randy Orton (5)

The Viper earned a win in his WWE Championship match at SummerSlam, but since it was by disqualification, he didn’t earn the title. An impressive showing against Justin Gabriel of The Nexus on RAW before being distracted into a countout loss by Sheamus helps Orton climb the ranks. (My vote: N/A)

4. The Miz (1)

The United States Champion was snubbed by Team WWE at SummerSlam in favor of his former NXT rookie Daniel Bryan, but that doesn’t take the Miz down too far this week, since he caused Bryan to be eliminated, then cost him a match against Michael Tarver of The Nexus the following night along with current NXT rookie Alex Riley. (My vote: N/A)

5. Daniel Bryan (NR)

In his surprise return at SummerSlam, Daniel Bryan single handedly eliminated at least two members of The Nexus before being taken out by his former mentor The Miz and his Money In The Bank briefcase. The following night, he impressed against Michael Tarver, but once again the United States Champion stopped him from attaining victory. (My vote: 7)

6. Sheamus (4)

The WWE Champion drops in the rankings again after failing to earn a victory over Randy Orton at SummerSlam. Eating an RKO on RAW doesn’t help stop him from falling either. (My vote: N/A)

7. Alex Shelley (NR)

Despite the entire top 5 of my ballot being TNA wrestlers, Alex Shelley is the first representative of that company to appear on the official Power Poll for this week. If you’re going to pick a top guy for TNA, this is one of the four men that deserve that honor after the impressive match in which the Motor City Machine Guns retained the TNA Tag Team Championships on the Whole F’N Show. (My vote: 3)

8. Chris Sabin (NR)

See Shelley, Alex. (My vote: 2)

9. Wade Barrett (NR)

The Leader of The Nexus was the last member of team to be eliminated at SummerSlam, and he redeemed himself enough to gain a spot in this week’s Power Poll by defeating Chris Jericho cleanly on RAW. (My vote: N/A)

10. Rob Van Dam (3)

The TNA World Champion, what’s left of him anyway, earns the last spot on this week’s Power Poll after an impressive showing against Abyss in a Stairway to Janice match on The Whole F’N Show. (My vote: 5)

I also voted for: James Storm (1), Robert Roode (4), Abyss (8), and The Undertaker (9).
The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Hit the Ropes,NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog. Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy,Ringside Rants, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at) gmail.com.

ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts

August 15, 2010 1:26 am Leave a Comment

Hello, fellow Bored Wrestling Fans! It’s been a couple of months since I’ve done anything here on the site aside from the weekly Power Polls put on by Jason Mann of WrestlePerspective, so I thought with JT away, I’d jump in this week and ramble on with a rare “ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts” column! And what better week to return than the weekend following TNA’s HardCORE Justice PPV and “Whole F’N Show” free-per-view on Spike?

I actually planned on ordering HardCORE Justice last Sunday, but I woke up around 8:07 and figured it was pointless by then to spend the 30 bucks on the show. I promised myself I wouldn’t read any spoilers before I actually got to watch it, and damn, that would’ve been $30 well spent. Nearly every match had a purpose, settling feuds from back in the original ECW, and the last minute Main Event change to RVD/Sabu was a great move IMO. The only other person on the show that could’ve filled the void left by Jerry Lynn’s absence would have been Rhino, in a storyline sense anyway, but there was so much history between RVD and Sabu that it really was the best choice.

The only BWF stuff I did for RAW was a quick tweet asking folks to use our #BWF hashtag to help AlyKat notice them for her review. I watched the show as a fan, but I knew damn well that it was going to suck in comparison to the PPV I watched the night before. I was right. It’s not that RAW sucked in comparison to other recent RAWs, it’s that it happened to be on during a week where it would have had to outshine some of the best RAWs of all time to even compete with what TNA was putting on. Look, I’m not one of those guys that floods the comment boards on other sites with anti-WWE stuff or pro-TNA stuff. Typically, I’m a WWE supporter no matter what, but TNA just had the better wrestling this week.

I haven’t watched any of NXT Season 2 aside from the one where The Nexus were on. I just don’t care. JT can vote for Kaval all he wants, I’m just bored with the whole NXT deal.

And then there was Thursday. TNA promised us a PPV style show on free TV, and that’s what they delivered. Every match was amazing, and Shannon Moore proved that he can hang with a main eventer in his match with Jeff Hardy, but from a wrestling standpoint you have to give it up for Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns, and from a hardcore standpoint, RVD and Abyss. Initially I missed the Fortune beatdown on EV2.0, but after being told about it Friday night and reading Drow’s statement that it made the initial Nexus attack look like “a junior high play,” I had to go back and watch it. It was absolutely brutal – James Storm was just maiming people left and right with pieces of broken glass! I can’t wait for the aftermath of this, when the EV2.0 guys try for revenge. Extreme Violence? It’s just beginning!

I still haven’t watched SmackDown. I’m not even interested in watching. Initially I considered ordering SummerSlam tonight, but that’s probably out of the question too. There’s nothing that’s captured my attention booked for tonight. The only thing that would possibly make this worth the money is if The Miz cashes in and wins the WWE Championship tonight, and I highly doubt that’s going to happen.

If any of our readers live in Western New York, come on out Friday, August 20th to Chuggers in West Seneca as DTD Entertainment presents the Honoring The Idol 2010 Pre Party featuring my band thinksobrain, whom G so graciously puts over in his SmackDown review every week. Also, don’t forget that Empire State Wrestling returns to the St. Johnsburg Fire Hall in North Tonawanda on Saturday, September 11th. The main event is set to be ESW Tag Team Champions Famous defending against Kevin Grace and Pepper Parks. Also announced for the show is Jonny Puma vs. Ryot, and Ceasar’s Legion members Tommy Mandrake and Superbeast taking on our friends Barry and Brian Hardy. Hope to see you guys around!

RAW 8.9.10

August 10, 2010 5:15 pm Leave a Comment

I didn’t post this last night because I really wasn’t that excited about RAW. Anyway, I won’t be posting on next week until Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. I’m not going to be watching RAW. I’m joining my mother and grandmother to go see a show. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s the review!

The Main Event is Cena & Bret Hart vs Jericho & Edge with Nexus as Lumerjacks!

Bret Hart comes out in a Batman shirt and says that he’s upset that Jericho and Edge left and talks about Team WWE. He asks Jericho and Edge to join him in the ring, and says that if Nexus wins at SummerSlam, then everyone loses. Jericho makes his way to the ring, and Bret asks him to rejoin Team WWE, because this is Jericho’s time to make things right. Jericho still refuses, and tells Bret that Bret’s worried about losing tonight, and is frightened. Once again, Bret is screwed. Chris doesn’t want to team with either Cena or Bret, he just wants to dismantle Bret.

You think you know me…

Edge comes out and asks Jericho what’s wrong with him, they grew up idolizing him. Edge says he’s in, goes to attack Hart, Hart goes for Sharpshooter, Jericho pokes him in the eye. Jericho and Edge make their way out of the ring, and Natalya joins Bret in the ring. Nexus is backstage beating up Tyson and David Hart Smith. Wade says it’s not Bret’s day. Bret and Nat leave the rign and run backstage.

@KeepItFiveStar “That’s what you get for not being a Hart, Tyson!” – Nexus

@dasharpshooters Michael Keaton looks like shit. #wwe #raw #bwf

@Niki_Sushi I want Bret to say ‘nut up or shut up’ so Chris can shove the mic in his mouth. #BWF

Medics are backstage with Hart Dynasty, Bret says he’s going to take things under his own hands. Cena stops him and tells him to stay with his family.

AWESOME!!!

United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank The Miz vs Evan Bourne
Miz wins with a Skull Crushing Finale, but Evan had some great offense going, and a pretty sweet looking hurricanrana.
United States Champion The Miz wins via pinfall!

Miz gets mic and says he doesn’t care who has the WWE Championship after SummerSlam, when he’s ready to cash in, he will be the WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s AWESOME. Backstage, Cena is talking to Khali backstage.

<COMMERCIAL>

@kickoutblog Yeah, The Miz just murdered Evan Bourne.

@_MFS_ Bourne does shit like that and yet they still make him job… #WWE #RAW #BWF

@JCenadotcom Cole talking about The Miz requires me to mute the channel…

Melina vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox
Not a horrible match, but I wasn’t all that impressed.
Melina wins via pinfall.

Khali is backstage with Josh and says that Ranjin Singh’s not here. Josh asks is Khali with WWE or Nexus? Khali says WWE, then jacks the mic and grumbles and mumbles a lot. He then challenges Wade Barrett to a match, said Josh… thankfully

@RAWMysteryGM I know what Khali said and he will be punished accordingly for that outburst #WWE #bwf

@ KeepItFiveStar So The Great Khali vs. Glade Berry…?

@ _MFS_ what the fuck was that move supposed to be Alicia cause it looked like absolute shit #WWE #RAW #BWF

@redsandman99 I’m hoping that since Melina won tonight, Alicia wins at Summerslam. I love Melina but there should be proper feud for the title.

@dasharpshooters Dammit Khali you have been in this company for like 4 years and you cant speak english? #wwe #raw #BWF

As a result of Melina’s victory, Alicia will defend against Melina at SummerSlam.

Later tonight, Eve & Gail v Bellas v Maryse and Jillain in some bathing suit match thing, and Sheamus has called out Orton.

Chris Jericho and Edge are backstage complaining about Bret. They say if Nexus loses, it’s because they’re not on Team WWE, and they may have bitten off more than they can chew. Edge says they’ll survive whatever Nexus does, and Jericho says they’re architects and they make things happen. If they take out Cena and Hart, there’s no SummerSlam match, and they’re in the clear.

JoMo and R-Truth talking backstage. They say they got each other’s backs, but they need to find a replacement.

Mark Henry comes up and hears them say they need replacements, they just need him instead of two replacements, and to consider this match his audition. Nexus is watching on a big TV, and Wade nods to them. Everyone but Barrett leaves Nexus locker room.

@YourBoyDrew Tweets are being swallowed, it’s like the Bella Twins, are operating twitter for me

@iwcmvp WWEShop.com has an interesting new item. For $35 Michael Tarver will come to your house and make you crap your pants in fear #WWE #RAW #BWF

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Mark Henry
Henry’s attacked by Nexus before anything can happen.

Sheamus makes his way to the ring.

@KeepItFiveStar Every week, we should place bets to see how long Mark Henry lasts before he gets his ass beat

@JCenadotcom Henry failed the audition then…

@Niki_Sushi Nexus is doin’ drive-by’s now!

@Bruce412 RIP Mark Henry #TeamNexus #WWE #bwf

@dasharpshooters Wait a minute there was a guy walking next to Maryse? I didnt notice. #wwe #Raw #bwf

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus to the ring. Mark Henry’s still trying to make it up the ramp, that fatass. Anyway, Sheamus says Randy is talking out his arse, and shows a video package of how he’s not afraid of Randy Orton.

Who thinks he’s afraid of Orton? Everyone. Sheamus says he’s afraid of no one (except Nexus… <.<; ) and that he wants to call out Orton. Randy comes out and interrupts him. Orton has something to say first – Sheamus didn’t get in the ring because he was afraid last week. Sheamus blew an opportunity last week, and he’ll do the same at SummerSlam. Sheamus can do whatever he wants, but fact is Sheamus has never beaten Orton. Orton says he’s not Triple H or Cena. Sheamus says he’s not the WWE Champion either, and he won’t be after SummerSlam, and when he beats Orton, Orton will go back to the end of the line, and Orton’ll never get another title chance. Orton says he will beat Sheamus because Sheamus has never beaten Orton, but if Sheamus wants to redeem himself for not attacking last week, Orton says do something about it.

Sheamus, your title matches in the past have been marred with outside interference. Therefore, if anyone interferes in the WWE Champ match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely. Furthermore, I agree with Sheamus. If Randy loses at SummerSlam, there will be no rematch, and he will go back to the end of the line. However, I also agree with Orton. If Sheamus is not scared, then I encourage him to do something about it, right now.

Sheamus goes to walk away, goes to attack Orton, stops, then walks away. Orton attacks instead, Sheamus runs the title into Orton’s face. Sheamus goes for boot, Orton dodges, and delivers a backbreaker to Sheamus. Sheamus is down, Randy backs up, then goes for a punt, but stops short. Sheamus is freaked. Orton rolls out and picks up the Championship

@iwcmvp “What the hell, why is that jar of Mayo doing with the WWE title?, MMMMMMM Mayo” – Mark Henry #WWE #BWF

@dasharpshooters Mystery GM should get 2 minutes in the penalty box for instigating. #wwe #raw #bwf

@TheViperRKO951 I think Sheamus just craped himself #RAW

@SinisterAsh What will happen if the GM gets a virus?

@Niki_Sushi One day, the lights will blink and the power won’t come back on.

@KeepItFiveStar “IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!”

@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

Sheamus is still outside the ring, very pissed off. The Season Two NXT Rookies are in action, and I don’t care.

Three NXT Rookies vs Three NXT Rookies
Uh… The fat one won. O.o Husky Harris.
NXT Rookies win via squishing pinfall.

Sheamus attacks Rookies afterward, hitting the High Cross on Kaval. He then takes a mic and says that it was a message to the GM and Orton, and he promises to still be the WWE Champion next week.

Truth and Morrison make their way to the ring

@kickoutblog Hey you know when this would be a good idea? Tomorrow night on NXT, but I guess we have kegs to carry and fat people to kiss then.

@kickoutblog Sheamus just did to NXT what I wish I could do to whoever is booking this show

@bojeeB Kool Aid man has died, Miracle Whip has lost his cool….

R-Truth and John Morrison vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
I don’t know what happened… I was tweeting.
R-Truth and John Morrison win via pinfall.

@wnwdotcom: Big win? They squashed two of the most irrelevant workers on the Raw roster!

@ThingsColeSays Since they couldn’t get Will Ferrall, the Bellas walk to the ring with their giant dildos. They will get off one way or another!

@KeepItFiveStar The fans don’t like you R-Truth. They like rap beats and being asked questions.

@iwcmvp Was I the only one who thought that red haired woman in the audience during Truth’s entrance was Heath Slater? #WWE #BWF

@RAWMysteryGM Coming up next The Bikini Contest, featuring surprise entrant Mae Young. Get the lotion ready folks, there will be some tuggin going on #BWF

Nikki and Brie Bella vs Eve Torres and Gail Kim vs Maryse and Jillian Hall
Don’t know, don’t care what happened here. Point is, they were all in bathing suits, and that is the only reason that this was even on. The entrance with the slide was dumb, and Santino and Vladimir couldn’t even save this… Okay, Santino did. I love that guy.
The Bellas win via crap ring work.

Tamina corners, so to speak, Santino, and then let’s him go, but slaps his ass as he walks by. Santion acts kind of embarrassed.

Khali on his way to ring, but is attacked by Nexus. Everyone saw this coming.

@dasharpshooters Whats up with the PG swim wear? Fucking Lame #wwe #raw #bwf

@iwcmvp Santino and Kozlov look like human bottles of ketchup and mustard #WWE #RAW #BWF

@SinisterAsh Bella Twins winning matches make me want to punch a dry wall

@bethsharae Does this mean Khali is out too? I’m crossing my fingers… #Raw

@kickoutblog Weird how those two second backstage assaults are so much more devastating than an actual wrestling match. >_>

@TKeep123 Tamina wants a big old slice of Santino pie! Sweet! Must be the Uni-brow! Beware the Cobra! #WWE #RAW #BWF

Wade says that he was just informed that there will be no Khali vs Barrett match. Nexus will write a new chapter in the WWE after SummerSlam, and after they win at SummerSlam, the balance of power will shift dramatically and permanently. Nexus will beat Team WWE. Skip says they’re going to break Team WWE physically and mentally. Otunga says if anyone in the locker room is considering joining Team WWE, think about what they’ve done tonight, because you’re either Nexus or you’re against us.

Bret and Cena make their way to the ring and Miz comes up. Miz says their team’s in trouble, and they need help. He figures it was just a matter of time before they went looking for him, and he says he wants to hear them ask him to join their team. Bret says fine and asks if he’s in or out. Miz says he wants to hear it from both of them. Cena asks if he’s in or out, and Miz revels in Cena asking him for help before he says he’ll let them know Sunday. Cena says it’s a shame that they may need him.

@TKeep123 Something tells me that 3/4 of the Nexus … have no idea what a Nexus is! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Eat_Souls.MichaelTarver

@kickoutblog Michael Tarver was not given a microphone because if Sacramento heard his true voice, their heads would explode.

@IAmJHPunk Is Bret gonna wrestle in a Batman shirt? #wwe #raw #bwf

Next week Justin Long guest hosts RAW.

John Cena and Bret Hart vs Chris Jericho and Edge with Nexus as Lumberjacks
Cena tossed out, Nexus goes crazy. Jericho tossed out, Nexus doesn’t seem to give a shit, until Jericho hits Barrett by accident, and then Edge tries to help, Bret drags Gabriel in, Barrett drags him out. Nexus takes out Edge and Jericho, Morrison and Truth join Bret and Cena, Nexus gets in the ring. Edge and Jericho back away, then seem to debate whether or not to go back in the ring. Finally, Jericho and Edge rejoin Team WWE. Short brawl between Team WWE and Nexus. Nexus flees best they can, and Team WWE chases then out into the stands

Alright. I’m going to say it. Overall, not a great RAW. The best parts of RAW were the very first match, The Miz vs Evan Bourne, and then Randy Orton and Sheamus’ segment. I admit, the main event got better at the end, building the hype up by making Jericho and Edge return, but the rest of it? Total shit. Just sayin’. See everyone in a week, I hope! If I can’t get to RAW before Tuesday, then it’ll be two weeks! Ciao, darlings!

RAW 7.26.10

July 26, 2010 11:19 pm 2 Comments

What’s up everyone?! I’m on vacation in Chicago with @Niki_Sushi, as a birthday present to us, but I’m still gonna review RAW! No idea how well this is going to go, but I’m going to do my best, alright? Why’m I still going to do this review? No rest for the wicked.

Now that Cena has gathered a team to do battle with Nexus at SummerSlam, how is the shift in balance going to play out on RAW? And what about Mister Money in the Bank? Is he going to cash in on RAW, or is he going to save his opportunity until he sees the champion down at SummerSlam??

BRRRRRRRRRRR MONKEY POO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring. One day, he’ll realize that orange isn’t his color, I’m hoping. And he stands there… and stands there… And says everything’s better in Texas. Seven weeks ago, Nexus attacked and took over RAW with no warning. Superstars, commentators, cameramen, the Chairman, Hall of Famers, no one was safe. They did it for reasons only they knew. The point is, if Nexus wanted you hurt, you got hurt. Until last Monday. RAW finally said they have had enough. Friends and enemies stood side by side in the ring with one common goal: to beat Nexus at SummerSlam. You will see that they are not invincible. It’s about time, because the more they terrorize, the more power they get. And with power comes great responsibili-I mean influence. With more influence, they’ll start to take out the show. He’s not saying it’s going to be easy, he’s not Superman, he sees himself more as Aquaman. Jericho and Edge aren’t Batman and Robin. The idea of Khali walking around like Wonder Woman is just wrong. Cena photoshopped it, and it was very very disturbing. Every person on team Cena was chosen for a reason, and at SummerSlam-

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

I love Jericho… especially in a tux. Just sayin.

Cena points out Jericho is on the SummerSlam team. The crowd has a Y2J chant going, and Jericho looks a little confused. He says that he was standing backstage, biding his time, counting the minutes until Cena said what Jericho knew he would say. “My team.” “John Cena’s Team.” All week long, people have been approaching Jericho, saying they’re happy he’s on Cena’s team, and has changed his ways. Jericho wants to make something clear: He didn’t get involved to be a part of Cena’s team, to bask in the glory of a hero, or to shamelessly pander to a group of parasites. He got involved because of his personal problems with Nexus and Barrett, a man he molded from the moment he first came into the company. Jericho knows Barrett and Nexus, therefore he’s more qualified, and this is Jericho’s team. Cena says fine, and the team is sold to Jericho, at a bargain price. Call them whatever he wants. He doesn’t care; he just wants to beat Nexus. Jericho tells Cena not to patronize him. He will be honest and clear: the team lives or dies by Jericho. Cena knocks the mic out of Jericho’s hand, and Jericho looks ready to either run or smack a Sunkist bitch.

Cena says it ain’t about Jericho. It’s not about him. It’s about the damn business. Nexus has taken over the company. Last week, they got Jericho, they got Cena, whatever they want. Jericho loves the business, and that’s why they’re doing it. Does Jericho understand what Cena is saying to him right now? They have to co-exist. Yes, he knows Barrett better than anyone. Jericho is essential to the team. Jericho picks up the mic again and tells Cena never to knock the mic out of his hand again. Second of all, Jericho knows how essential he is. More than that, he sees the big picture. Nexus isn’t the only threat to the company. The other threat is John Cena. Because Cena is more like Nexus than he thinks. He walks around, interrupting whoever he wants, doing what he wants to do. The only difference is he does it with the support of the WWE Universe. Jericho is warning Cena: As soon as Nexus is gone, he’s going to take the next logical step, and turn his sights on Cena. He’ll either do it with his team’s help, or he’ll do it himself. Cena says he’s standing right there, take your best shot.

You’ve got mail!

Cena threw his hat. “Cena, Jericho. Your match against the Nexus at SummerSlam will now be an Elimination Match. The team that eliminates all the members of the opposing team first will be victorious. And in a preview of SummerSlam, the Nexus will face seven RAW superstars in an elimination match tonight. Your match at SummerSlam is all about teamwork. Tonight, let’s see how you, John, and you, Chris, function as a team against opponents of my choosing. And if you’re not down with that, I’ve got two words for you.”

@Niki_Sushi The LOOK on @IAmJericho’s face is ‘I’m being cheered for. I do not approve.’ #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Good grief folks, hold onto your socks. HBK is not in the house tonight. Sigh… #WWE #BWF

@RAWMysteryGM I don’t trust Cole to get me food, it’ll probably be moldy. He loves the Vintage thing RT @Tommyspud: @RAWMysteryGM ‘Get me a pizza’

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus makes his way to the ring, and Jerry says he is what the future of the WWE is all about. He sits down next to Jerry Lawler.

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso with Jimmy Uso and Tamina

Last week, Orton won a triple threat match between Jericho, himself, and Edge to get the title of Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam.

Looks like the Usos are starting to really get up here if they get to fight Randy. Anyway, I’m kind of interested in this match. The two lock up, and Uso gets a hit to the face that takes him down. Orton keeps the momentum, punching Uso in the side of the head before getting Uso under the bottom rope, and dropping him up into it. Orton then pulls Uso to the apron by his hair. Uso pulls Orton’s head down on the rope, however, and then manages to keep Orton down for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. He gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton stands up and powers out. The two exchange blows before Orton gets the advantage with a couple of clotheslines, and then a scoop slam. Jimmy Uso tries to help, but Orton gets him. Orton then DDTs Jey off of the second rope, and Randy gets riled up, slamming on the mat, and hitting the RKO. He goes for the cover, and secures a victory.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall!

Orton paid too much attention to Sheamus, and Jimmy Uso attacked him. Orton begins to attack back, and Sheamus sneaks in. Orton ducks an attempted kick to the face from Sheamus, and then RKO’s Sheamus.

AWESOME!

Miz runs out there with a referee behind him, and cashes in the Money in the Bank contract.

The Miz vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship

However, before the match can even begin, Randy RKOs The Miz, and it seriously looks like Randy just mouthed ‘mother FUCKER’.

Edge is backstage, talking, saying he can’t wait for SummerSlam. However, he wishes Ted was on his team instead of Khali. Cena comes to Edge and says he has an unstoppable unit, but Khali? Khali’s clumsy, uncoordinated, and not that bright. Maryse says that they don’t understand him, but Edge doesn’t look like he understood her. Ted says neither Khali nor Morrison deserve to be there. Edge says if he has to, he’ll force Cena’s hand and take Khali out himself. As he walks away, he passes Ranjin Singh.

@TKeep123 …and this could go on for a year! :} RT @markjamesbrand: Poor Miz. Thwarted again.

@Niki_Sushi ‘WWE’ is #9 trending in Chicago! #BWF #RAWSheamus and Miz are still in the ring, yelling at one another.

You’ve got mail!

“I found the team that will challenge Chris Jericho and John Cena tonight. The United States Champion The Miz, and the WWE Champion Sheamus.”

I just noticed, the briefcase is dented. Probably from beating Sheamus in the head with it.

Backstage, Edge is on the phone and Khali starts yelling at him. Ranjin says he heard earlier what Edge said, and he told Khali. Edge claims he never said that, and that he has nothing but the utmost respect for Khali. Khali grumbles something, or spits it, and it apparently translated to Edge is a nincompoop, and challenges him to a match right now. Khali manages to say: YOU! ME! NOW!, which is just plan dirty. Edge says fine. But if Edge wins, Khali is off the team.

@HitTheRopes “I received another manager from the general email.” — Michael Cole. LOL #WWE

@RAWMysteryGM Cole screwed up my E-mail, I will replace him with Byron Saxton starting next week #WWE

@Niki_Sushi Well, Edge is gonna get a Great Fist up his ass and a pinky and index through his eyeballs. #BWF #RAW

The Great Khali vs. Edge

Khali comes out, and everyone’s dancing, and I’m so sick of that dance it’s not even funny. Lawler is gone because he’s going to be part of the seven-on-seven tag team elimination match later tonight. I hope Striker comes back on commentary.

Khali starts towards Edge, but Edge moves. Edge is then thrown into a turnbuckle, and Khali licks his han- okay, not really. He smacks Edge in the chest, and then manhandles him a bunch, throwing him into the opposite turn buckle. Edge gets up and manages to punch Khali a couple times, and then Khali clotheslines him, trying a leg drop and missing as Edge rolls away. Nexus makes their way out to the ring, and Edge climbs out of the ring, and into the crowd. Nexus surrounds the ring. Khali’s glaring at Nexus, and they make their way into the ring. They move away, creating an opening for him by the ramp. Khali cautiously gets out of the ring, and he backs up the ramp.

Later tonight, it’s John Cena and Chris Jericho against United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus. However, before that, it’s the seven-on-seven elimination match. I saw Yoshi Tatsu, the Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, and Jerry Lawler.

@BrdWrstlngFn Why did the GM choose to torment us by having Michael Cole on commentary by himself?

@HitTheRopes Dammit Edge, if you allowed the Nexus to beat you up, you would have won by DQ and Khali would have been off the team. #wwe

Seven-on-Seven Tag Team Elimination Match
Team RAW vs Team Nexus
Yoshi Tatsu, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Goldust, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Mark Henry, and Evan Bourne vs. Darren Young, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, Skip Sheffield, and David Otunga

Tarver and Yoshi start out, and Tarver gets the upper hand, throwing Yoshi into the turnbuckle. Tatsu runs at him, but Tarver scoop slams him, and eliminates him.

Yoshi Tatsu Eliminated by Michael Tarver.

Evan Bourne takes over against Tarver, and Tarver keeps an advantage, tagging in Justin Gabriel. Tarver was holding Bourne back, but Bourne used it to his advantage. He then tagged in Lawler. Lawler goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out at two. Barrett pulls Gabriel out, and they begin to work out a plan.

@seraphalexiel Why did Tyson send Nattie to the back? She can handle the Nexus. And I don’t like seeing Jerry in the ring

@Niki_Sushi ‘VINTAGE LAWLER!’ You know what’ll be vintage? Your life when I figure out how to morph through TVs, Cole. Wait for it. #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Love Jerry Lawler’s “Wonder Woman” outfit! He’s still fabulous!! #WWE #BWF

@ IAmJHPunk Dammit Bourne vs Gabriel would have been great! #wwe #raw #bwf

Jerry Lawler was eliminated during the break by Heath Slater, which is sad, but oh well. Tyson Kidd is in the ring now, and Heath Slater is taking a beating. The ref gets Tyson off Heath, and then tags in David Hart Smith. Smith kept him up in the air for a while before finally dropping him in a suplex, and then went for the cover, but Slater kicked out at two. Smith keeps the advantage, getting Slater down in the corner before Irish Whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. Slater gets up on the top rope, and Smith gets distracted by Gabriel. Slater hits Smith from behind, and eliminates him.

David Hart Smith eliminated by Heath Slater.

Goldust is in now, and Slater get s quick advantage, but Goldust hits a shoulder block before slapping Slater around. Slater tags in Otunga. Goldust gets momentum, but Young holds his ankle and lets Otunga get an opportunity.

Goldust eliminated by David Otunga.

Mark Henry comes in and lifts Otunga before dropping him. Henry then throws Otunga into the turnbuckle, and Slater is tagged in. Slater is thrown around by Henry, who then hurls him across the ring again. Slater then tags in Young, who is clotheslined as soon as he comes in. Henry then hits a boot that actually hurts both me and @Niki_Sushi. Sheffield comes in and the two get in a yelling match for a minute. Sheffield then hits some blows on Henry, before going for his clothesline. Henry then drops him with a suplex, I think, and then again. He then throws Gabriel into the ring, before running right into him in the turn buckle. Turns out Henry forgot about Sheffield, who hits him with his spear-like clothesline.

Mark Henry eliminated by Skip Sheffield.

Only Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne are left. Sheffield ran at them, and they both kicked him before Kidd went in. Kidd then was clotheslined in mid air. Sheffield tags in Young, who hits Kidd.

Tyson Kidd eliminated by Darren Young.

Wade Barrett comes in and runs at Evan. Evan then attacks everyone he can, but Wade gets him and drops him. Wade goes for the cover, and it’s over.

Team Nexus wins, seven to nothing.

Evan’s still lying in the ring, and they get him up, as usual, and then run him right into Sheffield’s Spear-Clothesline. Otunga then lifts Evan, and then drops him. As Evan lies there, Justin gets up on the top rope, hitting the 450 Splash.

Barrett gets the mic, and says that what they just saw was an act of total domination. The Nexus has always been 100% behind the common purpose. Cena, or Jericho’s team is already showing cracks. The cracks are due to their individual egos and agendas. Barrett assures us that come SummerSlam, the cracks are going to destroy the team. Sheffield says that he has a team of individuals who have no singular focus. No member of Cena’s team is willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the group, like Nexus will do and has done. What Cena’s looking at is the Nexus. And they are unbreakable. Tarver takes the mic and says that SummerSlam will be no different than tonight. They will eliminate everyone until there’s only one person left, and Tarver hopes it’s Cena. They’ll treat him like a piece of meat, until they’ve all had their fill. They’ll pounce, and when they do, they’ll put him out of his misery. And then it’ll be over, mercifully for Cena, in more ways than one.

Miz is sitting backstage, massaging his forehead from the RKO, and then Sheamus comes up. Sheamus starts hating on Miz, and says that Miz is dreaming if he thinks that he can beat Sheamus. Miz just stares at him. Sheamus asks if Miz thinks he can, just name the time and place. Miz says how about tonight, immediately after they face Cena and Jericho. After Miz wins that match, and throws Sheamus back in the ring. After Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and Jericho puts him in the Walls of Jericho, and he’s screaming in pain… Miz has a really good Irish accent, btw, and then Miz cashes in on Sheamus. Sheamus says if Miz keeps pushing him, he’ll make him regret it, and knocks the briefcase across the room. Miz looks around and then scoffs.

@kickoutblog When Michael Tarver speaks, you better listen, but don’t look directly into his eyes or else he’ll consume your soul.

@HitTheRopes A clothesline took out the “World’s Strongest Man”? Really? #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Little Known Fact: Mark Henry and Skip Sheffield have a rap battle every night over drinks.

@TKeep123 Team Steroid vs. Team Jobber ….. outcome as expected. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@BrdWrstlngFn Come on WWE, pull the trigger – you know you want The Miz as the WWE Champion!

@kellylynndobson To Barrett Bourne must have weighed nothing after botching kool aid last week. #bwf

Brie Bella with Nikki Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox

Dear God… It’s the Bellas. Jerry is, however, finally back, so we don’t just have to listen to Cole. The Bellas are dressed alike, so I smell a Switcheroo. Jillian came out to stop the twins from doing said Switcheroo, and Nikki nearly pinned Alicia, but Alicia came back and hit her with her finisher, whatever it’s called.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins via pinfall!

Someone made the mistake of letting Jillian pick up a mic. Jillian says that she has a gift for Alicia, and she’s gonna sing. She’s singing a fucked up version of We Are the Champions by Queen, but Alicia hits her with her finisher too, and another stupid segment is ended.

@dasharpshooters Whores are forever, and so are the Bella Twins. #wwe #raw #bwf

@IAmJHPunk How does Jillian still have a job?! #wwe #raw #bwf

R-Truth is out, screaming his constant question, to be on commentary. Anyway.

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. John Morrison

DiBiase and Morrison lock up, as Cole questions Truths’ motives. Maryse grabbed Morrison, and allowed DiBiase to get a chance to beat him up a little. DiBiase goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. I don’t really care what Truth says, stop focusing on him. DiBiase went for another cover, but Morrison kicked out. DiBiase gets Morrison in a headlock, but Morrison fights out, only to get beat up a bit. Morrison fights back, and Morrison hits DiBiase with his spinny-kick thing, and DiBiase kicks at Morrison. Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to the corner, but Maryse gets on the apron and distracts Morrison. DiBiase puts his feet on the rope to try to cover Morrison, but Truth shoves his feet off. DiBiase attacks Truth, and then Morrison tries to take advantage, only to kick Morrison in the face. DiBiase manages to pin Morrison for the win.

Ted DiBiase wins via pinfall!

Truth and Morrison start arguing in the ring, about Truth’s interference, and Morrison leaves, obviously upset, further creating cracks in Team Cena or Team Jericho. Cena’s watching this, worried about how this is going to affect the team. Truth admits that it was his bad, but Morrison doesn’t look impressed.

@KeepItFiveStar His name is NOT “Jo Mo Fo Sho” it’s John Morrison. Don’t bring him down to your level.

@BrdWrstlngFn Can we get Alicia Fox out here to kick R-Truth too?

@dasharpshooters Morrison turning heel? Hope so. #wwe raw #bwf

@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase’s purple tights are made from actual skin from Grimace. It’s amazing what money can buy.

“Rip It Up” by Jet is the official SummerSlam theme song!

Lawler has a Cena Slurpee cup with a Triple H straw…

Josh Matthews is backstage with Randy Orton now! He says that earlier, Randy prevented Miz from cashing in. Orton says that before he RKO’d Miz, he RKO’d Sheamus. T he message he sent tonight was clear: the question of who will be champion walking into SummerSlam doesn’t matter, because the question of who’s leaving as champion will be answered with an RKO.

AWESOME!

United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus vs John Cena and Chris Jericho

@RAWMysteryGM Spoiler Alert: Miz opens next week’s RAW with the World Heavyweight championship explaining why he cashed in on Kane on Smackdown #WWE

@kickoutblog Y2J chant? Get out of 1999 you parasitic tapeworms!

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus comes out, and there’s already tension between Miz and Sheamus, and everyone knows Jericho and Cena were going to have tension…

Both teams are arguing over who’s going to start the match. I saw Miz go, “Okay, you start it? You start it?” and then run to attack Cena. Cena hits a bulldog by the time I look up, and Miz rolls out of the ring. Miz then tags in Sheamus, who blends in with the ring ropes. They lock up, and Sheamus gets the advantage, keeping Cena in a headlock, but Cena powers out and puts Sheamus in a headlock. Cena hits the shoulder block, and then shoves Sheamus in the corner. Cena holds his hand out and Jericho tags in, cornering Sheamus, before Sheamus turns it around on Jericho. A Y2J chant is starting up, and it makes me happy. Jericho hits a missile dropkick on Sheamus before standing on both Sheamus and the ropes. Jericho gets a kick in the stomach before some moves are exchanged and Sheamus gets flipped out of the ring. Jericho clears the ring, and then Miz mocks Sheamus outside the ring.

We come back to Cena and Sheamus, just in time for Cena to get a huge clothesline. Sheamus tags in Miz, but Cena gets the advantage and goes for a cover, only for Miz to kick out. Jericho comes in off the tag and knees Miz right in the nose. Jericho bounces around and goes for a cover, only to try for the Walls of Jericho. Sheamus goes to attack Jericho, but Jericho ducks and finally manages to hit the Lionsault on Sheamus, but Miz takes advantage. Miz gets Chris up and back into his corner, kicking him before Sheamus tags himself in. Sheamus then attacks Chris in the same way, pandering more to Miz than the crowd, as the Miz chokes Chris on the apron as Sheamus distracts the ref. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out. Sheamus gets Jericho in a headlock after that, and Jericho gets to his feet and powers out. Sheamus drops Jericho onto his knee and then goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Jericho back to his feet, and then drops him again. Sheamus tags Miz in, and Miz drops his boot on Jericho’s back before hitting him with some forearms. Miz then keeps Jericho on the rope, and slams his throat into it. Miz goes for a cover, but Jericho grabs the rope. Miz then gets a kick to the chin, and then a missile dropkick from the top rope. Cena is yelling at Jericho to tag him, and Miz rolls over to tag in Sheamus. Sheamus then gets Jericho in a headlock, and Cena seems to be trying to walk Jericho through it on the apron. Jericho manages to get up and power out of the headlock and Miz tags his way in. Miz then bounces Jericho’s head off the turnbuckle, and beats him in the corner. The ref forces Miz off, and then Miz yells at him before attempting his swinging corner clothesline, only for Jericho to win.

Miz is slowly rolling to Sheamus, as Jericho crawls to Cena, and it’s now Cena and Sheamus. Cena takes Sheamus down with some shoulder blocks. Cena then sets up and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Miz distracts the ref, and Chris is in the ring too. Chris hits the Code Breaker on Cena, Miz tags in himself, and goes for the cover on Cena.

The United States Champion The Miz and the WWE Champion Sheamus win via pinfall.

Miz already starts walking out of the ring and away from them. Jericho is watching Cena, before climbing back in the ring. Jericho then puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho. Cena flips it and puts Jericho into the STF. Jericho taps, but Khali comes in, trying to talk some sense into them. Edge then hits a Spear on Khali. Cena asks what the hell Edge is doing only for Morrison and Truth to come in. Team Cena/Jericho/whatever is all arguing in the ring. Khali then hits Morrison and Edge, and then everyone tries to tell Khali to stop. Jericho starts screaming at all of them too, telling everyone to stay down.

Looks like the tension on Team Cena/Jericho/YankeeDoodleDandy is going to make everyone a little crazy. How will Nexus take advantage of this? Will Miz ever cash in the Money in the Bank contract, or is he just going to hold onto it forever until the year mark and then cash it in? Later, BWF tweeters.

Random Randomness

July 18, 2010 12:09 pm 3 Comments

What’s up folks and welcome again and happy Sunday. It’s been a long week here in JTland but I still got some wrestling time in so without further ado, lets get this show on the road:

(more…)

Delayed NXT season 2 review for 7/13

11:51 am Leave a Comment

We open with a video package of Nexus.

To the ring Ashley Valence is in the ring with Matt Striker as they take turns introducing the pros. Morrison is selling his beating by Nexus. Laycool is absent.

They bring out Nexus, who takes seats on the opposite side of the entrance from the pros. Darren Young is absent due to his beating by John Cena

Barrett says it’s a privlege to be on the show they got their start on. They wish the rookies all the best. He tells the pros they just want to sit back and enjoy the show.
(more…)

RAW Review 7.12.10

July 12, 2010 11:18 pm Leave a Comment

Hello, everyone!! Tonight’s RAW Review is going to be written similar to last week’s, mainly because it’s easier for me. I should be able to bounce back next Monday. Anywho, tonight, Randy faces Edge and John Cena goes one on seven against the Nexus!! What’ll happen!?

We kick off RAW with a flashback of last week, where John refused to shake Wade Barrett’s hand, and how the RAW GM made the matchup for tonight. You all remember that, right? No? Ah, well… Oh yeah! I almost forgot RAW had a theme. We haven’t seen it in a while. Oh, and the mom from The Brady Bunch is the guest host… Whoever she is… I already forgot her name. Oh!! It’s a six-on-one handicapped match!! Thanks to John kicking Darren Young’s ass last week, he can’t compete. Shame.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SCOOBY DOO!

Cena starts by thanking the WWE Universe, then thanks the WWE Superstars who helped him last week. It was missing a white flash, white lightning, a white kid with red hair. Sheamus. Eventually, Sheamus will have to remember that they’re all in this together, but Sheamus will have to realize that Sheamus is not going to be the WWE Champion, because he’s going to lose it to John in the Steel Cage Match. Insert some Irish jokes, and then how Sheamus became WWE Champion twice. In a Steel Cage Match, no one can interfere, which is more important. He gets on a real roll about his match tonight when Nexus comes out, wearing… the most retarded shirts ever. I’m just sayin’.

Barrett says that they could go tot he ring and beat the living daylights out of him, but it’d be too easy. So, they’re going to wait until later on when everyone can watch them. They can do whatever they want with a clear conscience, because Cena brought it upon himself. Cena and Barrett are about to start arguing with the GM sends an email: Mr. Cena. Based upon your blatant disregard for my instructions, if any Superstar gets involved in the match tonight, they will be suspended for 90 days. Futhermore, the Nexus must tag in and out tonight. If they don’t abide by that rule, they will be suspended for 90 days as well. Barrett points out that Cena’s going to be in that ring all alone. Cena says that he may lose, but he’s going to take a few of them down with him tonight.

@Niki_Sushi White flash, white lightning, the pale kid with the red hair… Why not Sheamus McDonald? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Loved Cena calling them “NNNnnnnnnNNN” !! RT @Duce102694: Nexus is out w/ the ugly N Shirt #WWE #Raw

Eve is ringside and going on commentary for the Diva’s match.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim

Actually not a bad Diva’s match… Would have been better had Alicia actually hit her intended target with her finisher, but whatever. Eve on commentary was kind of… uninteresting, no matter how much I like Eve.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins by pinfall.

After the match, the RAW GM sends an email. He said that since Alicia faked an injury last week, Eve gets another chance at the Diva’s Championship this Sunday at Money in the Bank.

@divadirt Alicia vs Eve announced for Money in the Bank… TWO Divas matches this Sunday! OMG!

The Hart Dynasty and Natalya vs The Usos and Tamina in a Six Person Tag Team Match

During this match, we’re finally told about the guest host, though no one really cares. Tyson’s getting some good momentum early in, but Tamina shoves his foot off the rope to give…. whichever one it is the advantage. Sorry, but I didn’t hear the na- Jimmy was the one who got the advantage. David Hart Smith gets in and snatches the momentum back for the Hart Dynasty. He went for a cover, but Tamina pulled him off. Then Natalya got her out of the ring. The Usos steal the momentum back and take the win.

The Usos and Tamina win by pinfall!

Barrett is talking to Chris, thanking him for teaching him. Chris congratulates him, and then is stopped by Josh, but he walks off. Nexus then gangs up on Yoshi Tatsu, who stares at David Otunga before Otunga beats him up a little. Tarver then hits him a few times and gets in his face for no apparent reason.

@jcenadotcom Did anyone buy that beatdown by Nexus on Tatsu?

It’s a new day! It’s a new generation!!

Maryse and Ted DiBiase make their way out to the ring, and we’re reminded that Maryse helped to distract John Morrison last week so that DiBiase could steal the win. Ted introduces them as the Million Dollar Couple, then clarifying that he’s referring to himself and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He tells Maryse to imagine the possibilities after he wins the briefcase: he’ll shower her with gifts and will win the WWE Championship.

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

John Morrison says that he wouldn’t waste his time showering Maryse with gifts, because everyone knows the French don’t take showers. Maryse proceeds to say something in French, and Morrison just says OK and translates it as: everyone in the arena has hippo breath and smells like dueling rhinos in the Serengeti plains. And that Maryse herself resembles a dung chewing platypus. She goes to slap him, he blocks, and DiBiase attacks Morrison. DiBiase went for Dream Street, but Morrison countered. he beats on DiBiase for a minute and then goes for Starship Pain, only for Maryse to pull DiBiase out of the way.

@TKeep123 OK, I have to admit that Dibiase DID trade UP with Virgil Version 2. #wwe #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog New rule: you can’t hate John Cena for his silly promos and then cheer for John Morrison after that. http://bit.ly/RAW71210

Oh, God. We come back for some retarded Brady Bunch sort of segment with Santino and Regal both looking for tag team partners… Santino’s squares are Kozlov, Khali, and Goldust. Regal’s are Ryder, Primo, and a Doink wannabe. And there’s the mom from Brady Bunch. She gives Santino an apple pie (FLORENCE HENDERSON! That’s her name). Santino makes some dumb joke and canned laughter is given. She asks if Santino’s team is ready, and he says yes. More bad jokes and canned laughter, and Regal comes in with the most intelligent comment of the night: I just want to let you know how utterly ridiculous this is. Regal says that he’d go to her for advice on how to raise six annoying children, and he’d go to the Partridge family for other advice. She slaps Regal and shoves him out. Santino goes for a kiss and she stops him, heading out.

OH YEAH!!! Miz booted Truth out of the Money in the Bank PayPerView!!! Who’s going to take his place? We find out tonight!!! We get a flashback to Wrestlemania 21 in 2005 where Edge won the first ever Money in the Bank match. And then to ten months later, at Revolution 2006, where Edge cashed it in against John Cena to get the WWE Championship. Next up, Randy Orton faces Edge!

@_UncleDave Whats the purpose of a raw guest host, seriously? Oh yea, to help save a career of a z-list star. #raw

@dasharpshooters Edge trying to make Lohan weight? That dude looks bony as hell. #wwe #raw

You think you know me…

Edge vs Randy Orton

I love both Edge and Randy… So I’m seriously hoping this is a great match. Because I need something to wipe out that damn Brady Bunch segment… At any rate, Edge gets early momentum, which immediately goes to Randy. Randy holds tight to that momentum, beating on Edge before going to the cover, only for Edge to kick out at two. Randy keeps it for a good while until he throws Edge back into the ring and Edge greets him with a boot to the face. Edge looked like he was setting up for a spear, then lookled like he was setting up a punt, then just kicked him in the head… went for another, but Randy countered with a scoop slam and started to get the momentum back, but Edge snatched it by throwing Randy between the top and middle ropes.

(Just ’cause it made me laugh…)
@ThingsColeSays BREAKING… WWE has signed Paul Heyman to be the 8th man in the Raw MITB match, just to keep him away from TNA.

@AustinH_24seven Randy Orton: 50% tattoos, 50% RAGE #WWE

We come back, and Randy seems to have gotten some momentum back anyway. Edge hits him with a drop toe hold though and beats on Randy for a minute before putting him in a head lock. Randy seemed to be about to go out there, but countered and dropped Edge to the mat. Randy grabs the momentum back and hits a scoop slam. The ref tells Randy to get Edge back in the ring, but Edge manages to counter and attacks Randy. He goes for a cover, but Randy kicks out a two. Edge sets up for a Spear, but Randy kicks him and goes down, prepping for the RKO. Edge counters, goes for Spear, Randy jumps over him, covers Edge, Edge kicks out, and Randy hits a back breaker. Randy drops and starts pounding on the mat only for Jericho to come out and distract Randy. Edge takes advantage and pins Randy for the win.

Edge wins va pinfall.

Jericho climbs into the ring after the match and hits Edge with a Code breaker, Randy hits Jericho with an RKO, and Evan comes out to beat on Randy. Evan goes for Airbourne, but Randy hits the RKO in mid air.

Skip Sheffield is walking, and Josh Matthews stops him to talk about Nexus showing up on NXT tomorrow night, asking if they’re going to focus on the pros, rookies, or both. Morrison gets shoved or something, I missed it, and then Nexus surrounds Morrison. Morrison attacks, but Nexus gets the upper hand and throws Morrison into some doors. All of Nexus gangs up on Morrison and throws him into one of those big boxes that the Spirit Squad got thrown into back in the day- Wait, what’s that? A Glee reference? Says who?! Dolph? Oh, fine. Anyway, they all stand over him as the camera fades.

@TKeep123 Evan Bourn will think twice about another run-in on Randy Orton! Pretty amazing! #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi When Randy Fucking Orton RKO’s Evan Bourne mid-Air Bourne, you KNOW you’re fucked. #WWE #BWF

@ChrisC06 I would get beaten up by the Nexus for laughing at David Otunga’s spray-on hairdo. #WWE #Raw

@shot_of_flair My entire first page on my twitter feed just proved to me that huge boners were had with the SSP-RKO reversal. #WWE

@TKeep123 Orton’s RKO on Evan ranks up there with Jericho’s Codebreaker as a counter to both CMPunk & Mysterio coming off the ropes. #wwe #RAW #bwf

AWESOME!!

The Miz makes his way to the ring with a mic. My favorite part of the night. He mentions how everyone is talking about how they’re going to win Money in the Bank. Well, talk is cheap. We get a flashback to last week when Miz brutally attacked Truth (Did I say brutally? I meant beautifully…). He says that he’s never been more serious in his life. And he took out Truth with his bare hands, not a ladder. He didn’t just take away his ability to compete, he took away his ability to play catch with his son, his ability to entertain. Let’s face it, wherever Truth is, he’s not dancing. This Sunday, when Miz has the ladder in his hands, what he did to Truth will pale in comparison to what he’s going to do to his other opponents. One down, six to go. Because he’s The Miz and he just got interrupted by the GM, that bastard!!! Cole asks if he can have everyone’s attention, and they all scream no. The GM Says: The Miz will now compete against R-Truth’s replacement. See, there’s an old saying: Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions.

Somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked… somebody’s gonna get their weave split.

The United States Champion The Miz vs Mark Henry

I have to admit, I’m disappointed. I wish Mark Henry would split Alicia’s weave… Anyway, Miz goes for Henry pretty enthusiastically, but Henry is having none of it. Henry goes for outside of the ring, but Miz moves last second only for Henry to run into the podium with the laptop to communicate with the GM of RAW. Miz throws a basket of some kind on him, then dumps trash all over Mark and throws the trash can at him.

@dreamsinstatic R-Truth replaced by the Kool Aid man. Oh YEAH! #WWE

@Seanfranchise6 RAW MITB Match will be a FAIL cause MIZARK is in it.

@Niki_Sushi So…. in a round-about way… did Mark Henry just kill RAW’s GM? #RAW #BWF

@B_alpha_male The ‘Worlds strongest man’ just got taken out by rubber trash cans. #WWE #RAW

Dear God… Alright, now we’re going to see Florence Henderson out here as the Special Guest Ring Announcer. She says she’s feeling groovy, and NO I AM NOT FEELING GROOVY.

The Regal Bunch: William Regal, Zack Ryder, Primo, and Doink the Clown vs The Santino Bunch: Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Goldust, and the Great Khali in an 8-Man Tag Team Match

Okay, so… Flo stole Regal’s cloak, Santino finally hit the frigging Cobra, and Doink was tagged in. Doink uses a squirt gun to spray Khali, but Khali didn’t like it much, and pins Doink for the win after a smack to the head.

The Santino Bunch win via pinfall!

The music stops and Santino goes over to Flo again, but she ducks under him and goes to Khali. they kiss, and Santino is heartbroken… And I just threw up a little in my mouth… Khali picks her up and they kiss more, and I die a little inside….

@TKeep123 Ok, this Bradey Bunch tag match has potential to be a Royal mess…. Doink? Reminiscent of The Oddities. #wwe #raw #BWF

@aemckay Khali, you smoothie. Florence Henderson, you slut. #WWE #RAW

The Money in the Bank line up: Smackdown: Matt Hardy, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, The Big Show, Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, Christian, and Kane. RAW: United States Champion The Miz, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Edge, John Morrison, Ted DiBiase, Evan Bourne, and Chris Jericho.

Josh talks to Edge about how psycho Edge basically is. Edge says that he has a voice that talks to him and what not… I had this part typed out, but my computer decided to delete it. Evan’s with a trainer, and Sheamus shows up. He asks if the RKO messed Evan up, and then Nexus shows up. Sheamus looks nervous and says that Bourne was bragging about how he helped jump them last week. Insert Nexus beating up Bourne now. Sheamus kneels next to Bourne and says that that’ll teach him a lesson, won’t it, fella? Nexus comes back and looks at Sheamus. They start after Sheamus, but Sheamus runs, and asks where Cena’s locker room is before taking off again.

@iwcmvp Josh Matthews is the leader of The Nexus #WWE

Nexus vs John Cena in a Six-on-One Handicapped Match

Reminder: If anyone helps Cena, they’re suspended for 90 days. If Nexus doesn’t tag in and out, then they’re suspended for 90 days. It starts with Cena tearing Tarver up. Tarver tags in Justin Gabriel. Gabriel rolls over to tag in Skip Sheffield after taking a slight beating from Cena. Cena and Sheffield are having a match of strength before Sheffield shoves Cena into the corner. Cena manages to wiggle out before Nexus all get out of the ring and huddle up for a minute to rethink their strategy. The ref is yelling at them to get back up on the apron. While the ref is distracted, Heath Slater attacks him from behind, and Sheffield beats on Cena., throwing Cena into his corner. Slater is tagged in, keeping Cena in the corner as Nexus beats up on Cena while Slater distracts the ref. Slater keeps hitting Cena pretty hard with some suplexes before tagging in David Otunga. Cena fights back and manages to get some hits in on other members of Nexus before Otunga gets him again, suplexing Cena. Cena manages to drop Otunga, and then Wade Barrett is tagged in. It looks like John was saving his energy for Barrett, but Barrett hits Cena with a boot to the face. He got Cena up in a Fireman’s Carry, but Cena got out, beating on Barrett with some shoulder take downs before hitting the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Barrett. Sheffiled tags himself in as Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Barrett. Sheffield hits that clothesline, then tags in Otunga. Otunga hits Cena, then tags in Gabriel, who pulls Cena closer to the corner and hits the 450 Splash, and goes for the cover for the win.

The Nexus wins via pinfall.

Nexus celebrates in the ring afterward, and Barrett makes them all back off. Cena uses Barrett to stand up before punching Barrett and running for a chair. He takes out Slater and runs into the ring. Nexus scatters outside of the ring and gets Slater. Barrett pulls them all back together to strategize, and they surround the ring again. Cena’s bleeding here, by the way. Nexus surrounds the ring, but Sheamus comes in with a chair too, losing it in his hurry to beat on Nexus. Cena and Sheamus clear the ring with their chairs, finally working in unison.

Not a bad show tonight, overall. Guys, next week, use the #BWF hashtag in your tweets so that I can put you in the RAW review, alright? Thanks!!

Tag Archive: Nexus

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