Tag Archive: Punk Punk

  1. RYTMAN’S RAW (REPLAY) REAL TIME RECAP

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    Hokay.  This is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY late.  What I’m going to do here is recap a replay of last night’s RAW.  This is for two reasons, I need more practice in real-time recapping, and I owe BWF my RAW recap.

    So here we go!

    We open with a recap of Elimination Chamber from Sunday.  Alberto Del Rio beat the Big Show, Jack Swagger won the Chamber, and C.M. Punk lost.  We get a reminder that Cena’s road to Wrestlemania starts tonight.

    Live in the Cajun Dome!  Cena’s out to address the WWE universe, and we’re reminded that it’s Cena vs. Rock for the WWE title.  John reminds everyone that it’ll be John Cena vs. The Rock, and that’s when Punk comes out.

    Punk accuses Cena of taking the easy way out.  Punk says Rock beat him fair and square on Sunday, if you disregard the fact that Rock hit an official, and Punk had him pinned for “an 18 count.” Cena tells him to “sit this one out,” and “for once, it’s not about C.M. Punk.” Punk disagrees, reminding Cena how he brought prestige to the WWE title, and how Cena can’t beat the Rock, and how he’s never beat Punk.  Punk tells him to walk away.  Cena makes it clear he will not.  Cena concedes that he hasn’t beat the Rock, and if he can’t beat Punk, then he doesn’t deserve the title shot.  Cena agrees to give Punk the shot at Wrestlemania if Punk can beat him in a match, right here, right now.  Punk decides to do this on his terms, and since he shouldn’t even be in this position, he decides to do this next week.  Cena makes it official.  Punk vs. Cena, Wrestlemania headline title shot on the line, next Monday.

    We get an announcement that tonight will be the Rock’s championship celebration, and The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry, is up next.0

     

    We’re back.  We get a picture of Thomas Jefferson and one of his quotes as part of a “president’s day” tribute.

    “ONE MAN WITH COURAGE IS A MAJORITY.” – Thomas Jefferson

    Backstage with Sheamus and Matt Striker.  Sheamus doesn’t know what went wrong last night, they were supposed to get revenge on the Shield, but didn’t.  Ryback walks into frame and Sheamus call him a neanderthall.  Ryback and Sheamus get up into each others’ face, when Chris Jericho steps in.  He gets them to stop fighting and offers them a chance to team up with him in a six-man against the Shield.  Sheamus and Ryback agree.

    “FEED ME SHIELD” – Ryback

    SIN CARA VS MARK HENRY

    This was an out-and-out squash.  Sin Cara got in one kick to the head, but it ends with a powerslam and a “world’s strongest slam.”

    WINNER: MARK HENRY

    Henry bullies the ref out of the ring and turns his attention to the fallen Sin Cara.  Great Khali strides out (slowly) and after a stare-down, teasing a fight, Henry bails.

    “IF I WANNA DANCE, I GIVE EM’ THAT.  YOU DANCE, THAT’S ALL YOU GOOD FOR ANYWAY.” – Mark Henry

    We go to a recap of the U.S. title match at Elimination Chamber, between the Miz and Champion Antonio Cesaro.  We see Miz drop knee first into Cesaro’s groin, and get dq’d.

    Vicki Guerro announces the six-man main event for tonight – Jericho, Sheamus, and Ryback vs The Shield via Twitter.

    When we come back, Miz vs. Cesaro, NO DQ!

     

    We’re back with a promo for FANDANGO, comming soon.

    Miz is in the ring w’a taped-up shoulder and arm.  We get a recap of last Monday’s RAW when Cesaro swung him into the guardrail.

    NO DQ MATCH-U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS THE MIZ

    Miz starts strong, but the match goes out to the floor and Cesaro sends the bad arm into the post.  Cesaro throws Miz back in the ring with some chairs and a kendo stick.  Cesaro wedges a chair between two turnbuckles in the corner, and tries to drive the Miz shoulder-first into it.  Miz counters a few times and Cesaro has more luck with the Kendo stick.  Cesar pins the bad shoulder of Miz between his knee and a chair, and works the arm.  Cesaro sets Miz up in the corner for a charge, but Miz gets a shot to the face.  Cesaro charges knee first and Miz ducks.  Cesaro hits the chair in the corner.  Miz drop-toe-holds him chest first into the other chair, and ends this with a figure four for the submission.

    WINNER: THE MIZ

    Later tonight, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter will make a “State of the Union” address to the WWE universe.  Right now, we’re getting a look at an Internet video made by Zeb and Swagger. (youtube.com/wethepeoplezeb) It looks like a public access channel video with a “Don’t Tread On Me” flag tacked up in the back.  Zeb delivers a rant against immigrants with Swagger looming menacingly in the background.

    We’re reminded that Cena vs. Punk is next week and the Rock’s championship celebration is tonight.

     

    We come back to a pic and a quote of Abraham Lincoln.

    “YOU CAN FOOL SOME OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME, YOU CAN FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME, YOU CAN’T FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME.” – Abraham Lincoln.

    Backstage, WWE  tag team champions Daniel Bryan and Kane are arguing over what happened between them in the Elimination chamber last Sunday.  Brian has requested a singles match and doesn’t want Kane coming out with him.  Kane decides he’ll request a singles match and doesn’t want Bryan coming out with him.  Kane warns Bryan that he’d better be a man of his word, because he doesn’t like snakes.  Randy Orton overhears this, and takes exception to it.  Kane explains that if a snake gets too close to him, he squashes it with his boot.  Orton compares Kane to Barney the Dinosaur and Bryan laughs.  Orton disappears, and Kane sulks off.

    We go to Vicki’s office where Paul Heyman has been summoned.  Vicki rags on Heyman about how useless his special stipulations were in the WWE title match.  Later on, she will make a big announcement concerning his career, in the ring.

    Team Ziggler (Dolp, Big E. and AJ) makes their way out as we go to break.

     

    WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS DOLPH ZIGGLER

    Ziggler’s in the ring as we recap Del Rio’s win over the Big Show at EC.  Ricardo Rodriguez comes out to introduce Del Rio.  The crowd is not into it.  Ziggler goes right after Del Rio.  Del Rio fights back.  Ziggler goes up and over the ropes, lands on the apron.  Del Rio hits the enziguri as we go to break…

    Ziggler in control as we come back, choking Del Rio against the ropes.  Ziggler with a dropkick.  Choking again, and Big E. sneaks in a cheap shot at ringside.  Ziggler gets a two-count with a fame-asser and goes up top.  ADR cuts him off and hits a REVERSE FACE-LOCK SUPERPLEX.  Ziggler up first. They trade punches, ADR hits two clothes-line, a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, and a thrust kick for two.  ADR gets a “Si” chant going but Ziggler hits the neck-breaker for two.  Ziggler whips ADR into the corner, ADR gets the boots up, ties up Ziggler, and hits several forearms to the back and a back-stabber for two.  Big E up on the apron.  Del Rio knocks him off.  Ziggler goes for the flying DDT, but Del Rio hits the arm-breaker for the submission.

    WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO

    After the match, Big E. blindsides ADR and beas him down.  Ziggler realizes this is the best time to cash in the MiTB briefcase, but Ricardo swipes it and runs off with Big E. after him.  AJ recovers the case, but Ziggler eats a huge kick from ADR.

    Later tonight, the Rock’s celebration, and Kane vs.Randy Orton

    And we got to break…

     

    We are back with Intercontinental champion Wade Barrett in the ring, telling all of us about his big break in a major motion picture.  We then get shown the trailer for “Dead Man Down,” in theaters on March 8th.  We come back to Wade but Sheamus interrupts from the Titan-Tron to point out that Wade isn’t the star, Colin Farrell is.  He invites Barrett to respond, but is told we’re out of time.

    SIX PERSON TAG TEAM MATCH – TENSAI/BRODUS CLAY/AND NAOMI VS PRIMO/EPICO/AND ROSA

    The Funkadayctals make their entrance w/Brodus and Tensai.  Rosa and team MO-CO cut the music short with their entrance.  Naomi starts off with Rosa, taking charge with high-flying moves.  Rosa tags in Primo who goes after Naomi but Tensai makes the save and send Primo out.  Naomi hits a sliding dropkick between Tensai’s legs on Epico and Rosa.  Tensai and Brodus ends this with double headbuts and a double splash.

    WINNERS: BRODUS CLAY AND TENSAI

    We get a dance party in the ring before going to a WWE.com press conference in the Super-dome, where we get an announcement about Wrestlemania 30 being there next year, April 2014.

    Up next is the “State Of The Union” address from Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter.

     

    We come back with a quote from Harry S. Truman

    “THE BUCK STOPS HERE.” – Harry S. Truman

    Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter are in the ring with a podium and a “don’t tread on me” flag set up.  Swagger claims that he took the weight of the nation on his shoulders when he won the EC match and became #1 contender to the WHC.  He turns the mike over to Zeb, who claims the state of our union is “pathetic.” In summation, he basically accuses foreigners of coming here to take our health care, jobs, and resources, and how when Jack Swagger beats ADR, he will restore our nation to greatness.

    Daniel Bryan makes his entrance as we go to break.

     

    JACK SWAGGER VS. DANIEL BRYAN

    Match is basically Bryan slipping out of Swagger’s grasp with his speed/agility until Swagger gets a chance to pound on the bad ribs of Bryan.  Bryan fights back with quick strikes and high-risk high-flying.  Bryan misses a charging drop-kick and Swagger works his leg.  Swagger ends this with the “Patriot Act,” submission.

    WINNER: JACK SWAGGER

    Later tonight, Jericho, Sheamus, and Ryback vs. The Shield, and Vicki’s big announcement about Heyman.

     

    We come back to a Wrestlemania promo and Vicki in the ring demanding our attention, preparing to make an announcement that could change Heyman’s career/life.  She announces Brad Maddox as “assistant to the managing supevisor.” Brad says this was his reward for blowing the whistle on Heyman.

    “IS THIS MY CUE TO VOMIT?” – Paul Heyman

    Heyman says goodnight and gets ready to leave, when Vince makes his appearance on the Tron, stopping him.  He reminds Heyman of last week when Heyman requested the DQ/count-out stip for the WWE title match at EC, and how Heyman said he do “anything” for it.  Basically Vince challenges Heyman to a fight in two weeks when he makes his return.

    And Break…

     

    CHRIS JERICHO, SHEAMUS & RYBACK VS. THE SHIELD

    Jericho, Sheamus, & Ryback each make a separate entrance, the Shield come down all at once through the crowd.  The faces start off strong, with each man getting a shot at a Shield member.  The faces dominate as we go to break…

    We come back to the Shield beating down Sheamus.  Sheamus fights his way free and brings in Ryback.  Ryback hits hard and fast, tossing around the Shield, but he takes a spear when the ref isn’t looking.  The Shield pile on Ryback with double teaming until one of them misses a charge.  Ryback brings in Jericho, who takes over on the Shield.  Jericho locks in the “Walls Of Jericho” while Sheamus takes a Shield member to the outside, brawling.  Ryback is down, and the Shield leader takes out Jericho with a flying knee behind the ref’s back.  Jericho gets pinned for three.

    WINNERS: THE SHIELD

    And break…

     

    We come back with a quote from JFK.

    “ASK NOT WHAT YOUR COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU, ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY.” – John F. Kennedy

    DAMIEN SANDOW VS KOFI KINGSTON

    Sandow comes out, berating the audience and claims his great-grandfather came up with the new deal.  He attacks Kofi before the bell rings and brutalizes him, until R-Truth makes his comeback and the save.  Sandow is left lying.

    NO CONTEST

    We go to Josh Mathews at ringside w/two of his co-stars from “G.I. JOE: RETALIATION,” and a clip from the movie.

    The Rock’s celebration, up next…

     

    We’re back with another promo for Fandango, and Randy Orton making his entrance.

    RANDY ORTON VS KANE

    We get a plug for the EXTREME RULES PPV as Kane makes his way to the ring.  Match is back and forth until Daniel Bryan comes out to distract Kane.  Kane loses focus and walks into an RKO for the three-count.

    WINNER: RANDY ORTON

    And break…

     

    We come back to a local marching band making their way down to the ring.  After they finish playing, the Rock makes his big entrance.  First, he runs down Punk, pointing out how he beat Punk in two straight PPV’s so he could be here tonight as WWE champion.  Rock says in 48 days he’s going to Wrestlemania, but not with the “spinny” belt.

    “THE WWE TITLE SHOULD NEVER LOOK LIKE A TOY, AND IT SHOULD NEVER, EVER, SPIN” – The Rock

    The Rock retires the WWE “spinner” belt, and talks about how the belt should “inspire” the people watching and respect the legacy of champions past.  He then unveils the “New” WWE championship.  It looks like a big ring, with the WWE logo taking up most of the face-plate over the word “champion,” and the Rock’s Brahma-Bull logo on each side.  Rock asks the question “Who will the Rock face at Wrestlemania? John Cena, or C.M. Punk?” Rock is about to name his preference, when Cena’s music hits and he comes out.  He’s facing down the Rock when Punk nails him from behind with the spinny belt.  He tosses it aside, and says “I want that one,” while pointing at Rock.  The show ends with Punk staring down the Rock and walking out, while the Rock paces around the ring in confuion and Cena tries to pull himself up.

     

     

  2. RYTMAN’S RAW RECAP

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    Sorry it took so long.

    We start with the recap of last week.  Cena announces his challenge for the WWE title and gets beat down by the Shield, along with Ryback and Sheamus.  Vince catches Paul Heyman in his lie and gets F5’d by Brock Lesnar before he can fire Heyman.

    We open with C.M. Punk walking down to the ring, he walks up to a young fan and fakes giving him a “High-five” so he can snatch his “it’s my birthday” sign, and wreck it.  Punk commanders a mike and orders Justin Roberts into the ring, forcing him to announce Punk as “The Peoples Champion.” He then denies over-reacting to his situation, clamming he acted the way anyone else would act…

    “If you think I over-reacted… it’s clear to me you’ve never held anything as special as the WWE championship… in fact I doubt anyone in this building has ever done anything great in their entire life.” – C.M. Punk

    Punk claims he was “screwed” and the title in its “physical form” stolen from him.  He then addresses the video of Heyman with Maddox and the Shield from last week.  He goes to fans in the front row, calling one “four eyes,” another “sweet-heart,” and asking Michael Cole if any of them saw him in the video.  They each say no.  Back in the ring, Punk compares Heymans claim that he wasn’t in the video, against Vince McMahon, who put HIS video on HIS Titan-tron on HIS television show…

    “He is going to Doctor a video and he is going to play it on his television show, and all of you mindless, no-good, low down, fat, stupid, lazy people are gonna eat it up.” – C.M. Punk

    Punk goes on to say Vince “deserved” to have his hip broken by Brock Lesnar, claiming it was Karma.  Punk invites anyone to step up and try shut him up, promising to punch their face and toss them back on the side of the railing they belong.  Punk continues his tirade until Smackdown GM Booker T, interrupts him.  Booker has a miserable time trying to call Vicki “managing supervisor,” and informs him she allowed him to come out and decide Punk’s fate.  Booker decides we can decide Punk’s opponent for tonight.  We have to download the WWE app and vote for a “Wrestlemania Rematch.”

    Our choices are…

    • Randy Orton
    • Rey Mysterio
    • Chris Jericho

    Booker is out, and we go to Michael Cole giving us a tutorial on using the app.  We’re promised an “epic announcement” about the hall of fame later tonight, and Ryback makes his entrance as we go to break.

    Back from break, we get Randy Orton on WWE RAW-active, mentioning how perfect it would be to shut Punk up with an RKO, right here in Atlanta, the sight of his Wrestlemania victory over Punk.

    WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS. RYBACK

    Cesaro makes his way to the ring waving the U.S. flag, as Cole makes a quick mention of his Wrestlemania “streak.”

    Cesaro starts off with an amateur style go-behind, Ryback muscles out and tosses Cesaro w/a fireman’s carry-like lift.  Ryback pummels Cesaro in the corner, Cesaro fights back with a head-butt.  Ryback gets a hip-toss, drops the leg across the face of Cesaro, and gets a two-count.  Ryback scoops him up and hangs him in a “tree-of-woe” position in the corner.  Ryback stomps him for a few moments until the ref orders a break, and Cesaro rolls outside the ring.  Ryback goes out and tosses Cesaro back in.  Cesaro catches Ryback with a stomp to the head, and continues stomping.  Cesaro picks Ryback up and hits a short-knee, European upper-cut, and a whip into the ropes. Ryback reverses it and hits a Thez-press.  Ryback bounces Cesaro off the mat a few times and hoists him up by the head, tossing him into a corner.  Ryback charges, Cesaro moves, Ryback hits the corner and Cesaro hits a clothesline to the back.  Both men are down as we go to break.

    Back from break, Cesaro has a headlock but Ryback shoots him into the ropes and takes him down hard just by standing there.  He hits a few clotheslines then hoists Cesaro up, and plants him down (D-Lo Brown style.) Cesaro rolls out and walks off.  Ryback goes after him, hits a clothesline to the back.  Shot to the face by Ryback, and he rolls Cesaro into the ring.  Cesaro catches Ryback by the head and drops down, pulling Ryback neck-first into the rope.  Sliding kick to the leg by Cesaro and Ryback meets the edge of the ring with his face.  Cesaro, on the outside sends Ryback into the post, then into the stairs.  Ryback just beats the ten-count back into the ring.  Cesaro pummels Ryback in the corner, the holding Ryback by the head, goes up on the top rope, plants his knee on Ryback’s shoulder, and shoves off, driving Ryback backwards into the matt with his knee on Ryback’s face.  Cesaro gets a one-count.  Cesaro charges in, but meets a knee-lift, an elbow, and takes a huge back-body drop, followed by a “Meat-hook” clothesline.  Cesaro tries to escape through the crowd. Ryback catches him and puts him back in the ring.  Cesaro hits a huge boot to the face, but Ryback catches him by the leg when he tries a second time.  Ryback hits a Power-bomb and the “Shell-shock” for the pin.

    WINNER: RYBACK                                                                              

    We get another plug for the app as we’re reminded we can choose Punk’s opponent for his Wrestlemania rematch.  We go back to last week to see John Cena challenge for the WWE championship, and get beat down by the Shield.  Sheamus runs in, and gets beat down.  Ryback runs in, and gets beat down.  We take a special look at the Shield, when we come back.

    Back from break, we see Chilli from hip hop R&B group TLC in the crowd tonight.  We then see Rey Mysterio on “WWE Active” doing a promo w/Matt Stryker, saying he should face Punk because he’s the only one who’s ever taken his hair.  We then get a video package on the Shield, including a montage of beat downs on WWE superstars.  We go backstage where Vicki Guerro is with Cena.  She’s heard about his plan to confront the Shield tonight, and compares it to the movie “Death Wish.”  Cena reminds her he won the Royal Rumble, he’s going to Wrestlemania, and the Shield needs to be stopped tonight.

    We get another look at the video package for Trish Stratus, going into the HOF, and are reminded of the “epic announcement” later tonight, as we go to break.

    We’re back, and this time it’s Jericho on WWE Active, saying it’s our second chance to see who the best in the world is.

    Santino Morella hits the ring and Booker T joins Cole and Lawler at ringside, followed by the “Real American” Jack Swagger.

    JACK SWAGGER VS SANTINO MORELLA 

    We start with a lock up, and Swagger puts Morella down hard.  Swagger takes him back into the ropes and hits a knee.  Swagger whips Santino into the ropes and Santino starts his “power-walking” bit, but Swagger kills it with a knee, followed by a tackle to the leg. Swagger pummels Santino in the corner but misses a charge.  Morella ducks a big right and hits some punches.  Swagger blocks a hip toss, but Morella ducks the clothesline and hits a few rights.  Santino tries a whip, but Swagger no-sells, knees Santino, hits the Swagger-Bomb, and the “Patriot Act,” for the win. (Patriot Act = Ankle lock.)

    We’re reminded of our chance to vote for Punk’s opponent as we go to break.

    We come back with a promo for Wrestlemania, and we get an apology from the WWE.  Apparently, so many people voted, the system crashed.

    WHC Alberto Del Rio makes his entrance as we get a recap of his feud w/Big Show, starting with the attack on RAW and ending with the attack on Ricardo Rodriguez on Smackdown

    WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS CODY RHODES

    Cody comes in strong with a flurry of punches and an Irish whip into the corner, Del Rio meets him with an elbow, and goes up top in the corner, catches Cody behind the head w/his feet and takes him down w/a Lucha style head-scissors, followed by body-drop and a kick to the back.  Cody slaps Del Rio in the face, Del Rio responds by pummeling him in the corner and with an Inziguri to the shoulder for two.  Cody throws a wide-kick to the leg that stops Del Rio.  Cody gives Del Rio the knee-breaker, and takes over, stomping Del Rio into the corner.  Cody hits a head-butt but misses a charge.  Del Rio hits a clothesline, a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, and a thrust-kick to the face for a two-count.  Del Rio gets a “Si” chant going; signaling for the arm-breaker, but Cody shoves him off and hits the “Beautiful Disaster” kick off the second rope for two.  Cody charges in, Del Rio hooks the arm-breaker, (not smoothly,) and gets the submission.

    WINNER: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO

    Alberto gets the mike and apologizes for all the time he spent looking down on us.  He calls Big Show a “bully” and a “Monster,” and promises the Big Show will pay for what he did to Ricardo Rodriguez, and he will be a champion for everyone who works to put food on the table.

    Big Show comes up on the Tron, challenging Del Rio for a rematch for the title, from a hotel room in an undisclosed location.  He says he’s staying away to protect Del Rio from his rage, and has Booker sending him the contract.  Show warns Del Rio that if he tries to find him, or shows up here, Show will give him a worse beating than the one he gave Ricardo.

    Jerry Lawler overcomes a few flubbed lines to announce Chris Jericho as the winner of the RAW Active poll, and C.M. Punk’s opponent tonight.

    And we go to break.

    We come back with a recap of team Rey/Cara defeating team Hell No (Bryan/Kane) in a non-title match on the last Smackdown.

    Backstage, we see Daniel Bryan up in Kane’s face, blaming him for the loss.  Kane accuses Bryan of not being able to take care of himself.  Bryan says he’ll do just that in his match tonight, and tells Kane to stay backstage, so as not to ruin his chances at getting a spot in the Elimination Chamber.  Kane says “fine.”

    REY MYSTERIO VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN

    They lock up.  Bryan hits a knee, a snap-mare, and a kick to the back.  Bryan hits another kick and gets three consecutive one-counts.  Mysterio bridges up, catches Bryan on his feet.  Bryan pulls him up, Mysterio hooks a body-scissors, into an arm-drag, hits a dropkick, and knees to Bryan’s face.  Bryan pushes him off, Mysterio ducks a clothesline and goes for a head scissors, but Bryan drops Mysterio chest-first into his knees.  Bryan gets a two-count, a stomp, and a wrist-lock/arm-bar.  Mysterio grabs the top rope and flips out.  Mysterio hits some fore-arm shots, Bryan hits an elbow.  Bryan sends Mysterio up over the top rope, but Mysterio holds on, and hits a shoulder-block to the stomach.  Mysterio goes to the top rope but Bryan takes out the leg, and Mysterio is in the “tree of woe” position.  Bryan hits some short shoulder-blocks, but misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post.  Bryan on the outside and both men down as we go to break.

    We come back with Bryan controlling the arm of Mysterio.  Mysterio hits a few fore-arms, but Bryan takes him down in a German suplex, bends the arm, pinning the palm to the matt, and stomping the up-raised elbow.  Bryan works the arm and tosses Rey out of the ring.  Rey rolls up on his feet, but Bryan meets him with the dropkick.  Bryan tries to dive into Mysterio but meets a fore-arm.  Mysterio hits a dive off the top rope, hits two head-scissors, rolling through a sunset-flip attempt on the second, and hits a kick to the head for a two-count.  Bryan blocks a “619” attempt, Mysterio rolls out of an imperfect “No-lock” and hits it on the second attempt.  Bryan dodges a “drop of the dime” and locks in the “No-Lock” for the tap.

    WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN

    As Bryan celebrates, MARK HENRY MAKES HIS COMEBACK!  Henry meets Bryan on the way to the ring and takes him out with no problem.  Henry hits a “spine-buster” on Rey.  Sin Cara tries to save Rey, but takes “the World’s Strongest Slam.” Rey is up and fights back, but ends up taking a WSS and a splash off the middle rope.  Henry walks off, jaw-jacking with the crowd.

    Punk vs. Jericho, after the break

    We come back to Bryan demanding an apology from Kane, for not helping him out with Henry.

    “Daniel, I’m hurt by your tone.  Word’s hurt, and there’s nothing more powerful than our friendship.” – Kane

    “Do you mean that?” – Daniel Bryan

    “HELL NO!” – KANE

    After that, we get a recap of Vince busting Heyman, and Brock busting Vince’s hip.

    (It goes on a LOT longer than it needs to.)

    Later tonight, Heyman is on MizTV.

    We go live to Big Show’s hotel room where he’s on the phone, waiting for the contract.  He answers the door for room service and the waiter stands there waiting for a tip.

    “Get a better job.” – Big Show

    Sheamus makes his entrance and his match is up next, after the break.

    We’re back, getting another recap of the Shield attack on Cena, Ryback, and Sheamus, as well as a reminder Cena calls them out later tonight.

    SHEAMUS VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION KANE

    As the match begins, we’re told Daniel Bryan will be joining Randy Orton and Mysterio in the elimination chamber.  The big men lock up, and force each other into the corner.  Sheamus beats on Kane with fists, whips him into the corner.  Kane hits a clothesline.  Kane beats Sheamus down in the corner, whips him into the ropes.  Sheamus hits a kick to the face but runs into a side-slam.  Kane pounds and stomps on Sheamus, then tries to pull him out of the ring.  Sheamus kicks him into the guardrail.  They brawl a little on the outside.  Sheamus tosses Kane back in the ring, but walks into a big right hand.  Sheamus fights back and hits the “Irish Curse” back-breaker.  Kane is back up first, but Sheamus takes him into the corner with a shoulder tackle, followed by a knee-lift, and a double axe-handle takes Kane over the ropes.  Kane lands on his feet.  Sheamus ties Kane up in the ropes and starts the fore-arm pummeling.  Kane escapes and puts Sheamus down.  Bryan runs out and gets into an argument with Kane.  Kane shoves him off the ring by the neck, tells him to stay out of this, and walks into a Brogue-Kick, giving Sheamus the three-count.

    WINNER: SHEAMUS

    Bryan apologizes while smiling as we go to break.

    RAW slam of the week: GUESS! (Lesnar killing Vince)

    Welcome to Miz TV!  Miz is trying to recap the attack on Vince (again) but Heyman interrupts, not wanting someone like Miz to soil his reputation.  Heyman attempts to give Vince his “best wishes” on his hip surgery, but Miz interrupts him.  Heyman denies having anything to do with Brock’s attack on Vince.  Miz brings up the tape with him, Maddox, and the Shield.  Miz calls him the biggest liar he’s met in his life, Heyman starts asking questions about Punk getting screwed and winning back the belt.  Miz and Heyman are up in each other’s face, when Managing Supervisor Vicki Guerro decides to interrupt.  She admits to signing back Brock Lesnar, and expresses her grief over what happened to Vince.  As she starts to cry, Paul asks for a moment of silence, Vicki suggests they share a prayer, and Miz calls BS on the whole thing.  Lesnar comes out, kills Miz, wrecks the set, he and Heyman walk off.

    And we go to break…

    We come back to a replay of the Miz TV chaos and a confirmation that Brock is under contract to WWE.  Randy Orton makes his entrance, followed by Wade Barrett.  As Barrett makes his way to the ring, we get a picture-in-picture promo from Bo Dallas and a recap of their feud, including Bo’s upset win and the attack on Smackdown.

    WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT VS RANDY ORTON

    Barrett beats down Orton in the corner. Orton reverses an Irish Whip and hits the Thez-press.  Orton pummels Barrett in the head and hits two fore-arm uppercuts.  Barrett reverses a whip but Orton hits the clothesline, and Barrett rolls out the ring.  Outside the ring, Orton bounces Barrett’s head twice on the apron, and drops him back-first into the top of the guard rail.  Orton rolls him back into the ring for a two-count.  Orton stomps away on Barrett.  Barrett tries catching Orton with the clothesline but it gets botched.  Barrett recovers with a knee, a suplex, and a “do-over,” clothes lining Orton over the ropes to the floor.  Barrett goes outside, kicks Orton in the head, and bounces Orton’s head on the apron.  Barrett rolls Orton back in the ring for two, drops a couple elbows on him, and hooks the chin-lock.  Orton fights out of it, hits two clothes-lines, ducks one by Wade, and hits the scoop-power-slam.  Orton hits the second rope DDT and teases an RKO, but Barrett rolls outside.  Orton rolls him back in, but Barrett hits the spiraling side-slam for two.  Barrett tries to hit the waste-land, Orton elbows out.  Orton tries an RKO, Barrett shoves him off.  Orton dodges a charging kick in the corner, and hits the RKO for three.

    WINNER: RANDY ORTON

    After the break, Punk vs. Jericho (for really realz this time)

    We come back from break to a quick promo for “Fandango” coming soon to WWE.

    C.M. PUNK VS CHRIS JERICHO

    After playing to the crowd, the two men lock up and Punk gets in a knee followed by a chop.  Punk mocks the crowd, letting Jericho take over with three big chops, an elbow, another chop, and a big suplex.  Jericho hits a fist-drop and goes for a cover.  Punk grabs a leg and trips Jericho down, taking over with vicious stomps.  Punk gets a chop and a knee to the gut for two.  Punk locks the arm, Jericho gets to his feet and pushes Punk back into the corner.  Jericho fights his way free, Punk reverses a whip and meets the boot of Jericho.  Jericho charges Punk and takes a kick to the stomach.  Punk tries a tornado DDT, But Jericho shoves him off.  Jericho takes Punk over the ropes and out to the floor with a clothesline.  Punk hits the announcers table.  Jericho hits a baseball-slide drop-kick, sending Punk back into the table.  Jericho goes for the “ricochet-off –the-second-rope-in-the-corner” drop-kick, but Punk catches him, and pulls him neck-first into the ropes.  Jericho is down and Punk laughs as we go to break

    Back to the action, Punk hits a belly-to-back suplex, and three leg-drops to the back of Jericho’s head, for a two count.  Punk locks an under-hook face-lock on Jericho.  Jericho gets to his feet, Punk whips him into the corner, Jericho back-body-drops him over the ropes, Punk lands on the apron and tries for a flying clothesline, but eats the mat as Jericho side-steps him.  Jericho hits two shoulder-blocks, gets sent over the top rope by Punk, but lands on his feet, climbs to the top, and connects with a fist off the top rope.  Jericho hits a boot to the gut and the face-plant bulldog on Punk.  Jericho tries a Lion-Sault, Punk gets the knees up, but Jericho grabs the legs and tries for the walls of Jericho.  Punk kicks him off, into the corner.  Punk misses a running knee, and Jericho hits some head-shots before taking Punk off the top rope with the “hurriconrana.” Jericho gets a two-count, goes for another Lion-Sault but Punk gets a shot to the back.  Punk has Jericho up on his shoulders and tries for the GTS, but Jericho rolls out of it and schoolboys Punk into a “Walls of Jericho,” attempt.  Punk hooks his head for a small package, Jericho reverses it, Punk kicks out, Jericho tries a clothesline, but Punk catches the arm and twists it into a neck-breaker for two.  Punk hits the knee-lift in the corner, a short clothes-line, but takes too much time up top and misses the “Macho Man” elbow-drop.  Jericho’s Lion-Sault connects for two.  Punk hits a SICK kick to the head for another two.  Punk locks in the “Anaconda-Vice” but Jericho makes the ropes.

    “THIS IS AWESOME!” – The Crowd

    Jericho hits two shoulder blocks from the outside and goes up top, but Punk kicks his leg out from under him and goes for the GTS.  Jericho catches Punk’s leg on the way down and hooks the “Walls of Jericho!” Punk makes it to the ropes.  Punk tries to lift Jericho, he can’t.  Jericho goes for the legs; Punk twists him into the middle turnbuckle.  Punk sends Jericho shoulder first into the post; and hits the GTS for a three count.

    WINNER: C.M. PUNK

    After the match, we get the huge Hall of Fame announcement.  Our next inductee is BRUNO SAMARTINO!  We get a package of Bruno’s career highlights, including winning the WWWF title in 48 seconds, coming back from a broken neck after three months, and meeting the Pope.

    And we go to break..

    We come back to Matt Striker interviewing Punk backstage.  Punk calls The Rock a thief and says the title of champion belongs to him.  He’s the best in the world, and he proves it every night.

    From that, we go to a video package about Rock winning the WWE championship after ten long years, featuring a montage of headlines and TV spots about the Rock.

    John Cena is backstage being interviewed about calling out the Shield.  Cena talks about how the time to laugh and joke and smile comes to an end when you get picked on and pushed around.  Tonight, he pushes back.

    And break…

    We come back to Big Show, eating, live from his hotel, and complaining on the phone about how long it’s taking to get the contract over to him.  Show answers the door for a guy with the contract.  While Show reads it over and signs it, the guy keeps trying to tell him something.   Show refuses to listen.  Show opens the door to let the guy out, and comes face to face with Alberto Del Rio.  They have a vicious fight in the hallway that ends with Del Rio blinding/knocking out the Big Show with a fire extinguisher.  Two men get out of the elevator, looking confused…

    “It’s okay; my friend just had some bad Mexican food.” – Alberto Del Rio

    Del Rio assures them he will get Show some help, and leaves Big Show with a wink.

    Back in the ring, Brad Maddox is here, asking for a mike.  He claims Heyman took advantage of him, and claims he is an “innocent.” He takes credit for giving McMahon the video of him with Heyman and the Shield, and calls himself the “hero,” of this story.  He says it’s gonna be him and NOT Cena who dishes out justice to the Shield, and calls them out.  They come down, admitting they took money from Heyman and that they they’re gonna enjoy beating him down.  After Maddox is decimated, Cena makes his way to the ring through the crowd, followed by Ryback and Sheamus.  The Shield attempt to flee, but the entire WWE locker room cut them off.  The Shield is trapped, back to back in the ring.  Cena and friends move in and the fight breaks out, for two and a half minutes.  The Shield retreat as the show closes.

  3. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/15/2012

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    We open with a recap of last week’s main event, Punk vs. Vince. The match ends with Punk running into the stands and Vince demanding that Punk choose either Cena or Ryback to face at Hell in the Cell, or Vince will choose for him.
    The show begins with the Show – Big Show to be exact. He complains about the “joke” debate he had with Sheamus, demands we watch the recap of him blocking a Brogue Kick, (we do,) and challenges Daniel Bryan to face him in a match, to avenge his 45 second world title reign.

    Backstage, R-Truth tells “Little Jimmy” to pay close attention to the monitor. Bryan refuses to go out. RAW GM AJ Lee orders him to go, Kane-his tag team partner-laughs at the thought of having Bryan’s back. Bryan shouts “NO!” Santino and Ryder shout “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO!” R-Truth shouts “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO,” to Little Jimmy, everyone shouts “YES!” Bryan walks to the ring, and rips up a young fan’s paper “goat face” mask.
     BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – Competitive match that goes more than 45 seconds. Bryan hits multiple high-spots however this ends with a choke-slam and a three-count for the Big Show. After the match, Kane comes out to gloat – at first, but when Show teases a WMD, Kane jumps in and protects Bryan.
    After a break, we have Paul Heyman in the ring with a covered easel. He introduces our WWE champion for the past 330 days, C.M. Punk. Punk refers to J.R. as “good ol’ bucket head,” and makes it clear he doesn’t care who it is…
    “Disrespect me, I put you down.” – C.M. Punk
    Punk goes on to reference last week’s show where “typical Vince,” tried to make the show all about himself (author’s note: as opposed to?) and how Punk slapped him in the face, and how two Superstars – Cena and Ryback – had to save him. He then shows us the Hell in the Cell poster, depicting him as the Devil. Punk claims to be an angel compared to any of us, and while he feels angels and devils “don’t exist,” he is willing to play “make believe” with us “for five minutes,” and refers to Cena and Ryback as “the devil you know,” (Cena) vs. “The devil you don’t know” (Ryback.) Punk teases the reveal of his choice by going over to the easel, then decides we need to learn to be patient, and decides he needs more time. This brings out Vince McMahon to tell him he “blew it,” and by the end of the night, there will be a contract signing where Vince will choose Punk’s challenger.
    “Your fate, at Hell in the Cell, is now in my hands, respect that”- Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
    Now you’re probably wondering “isn’t this the same thing Punk was going to do? Make us wait for the big reveal?” You’re missing the point.
    This way, we’re waiting for VINCE to make the announcement.
    After all, why would we want to focus on the WWE champion all night?
    We go to a promo for the Susan G. Komen foundation and breast cancer awareness month, with Layla telling us about losing her mom to breast cancer. If this is true (and I am NOT calling Layla a liar, I’m speaking in terms of work/shoot,) then I have a whole new respect for Layla.
    Back from break, we have a recap of Randy Orton surprising Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown last Friday.
    ALBERTO DEL RIO VS BRODUS CLAY – Del Rio’s aggressiveness completely negates any advantage Clay’s size/strength might give him. Despite some hard shots, Del Rio’s agility and attack on the left arm gets him the victory w/the arm breaker.
    Backstage: Punk is NOT happy with this turn of events. He sends Heyman to challenge Vince to a rematch from last week. Heyman goes, reluctantly.
    Santino Morella and Zack Ryder head to the ring as we go to break.
    PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS CO-BRO (SANTINO/RYDER) – Match is in progress as we come back from break. The match breaks down into a quick spot-fest with Titus O’Neal hitting a D-Lo Brown style power-bomb/spin-buster and getting the tree-count for the PTP.
    After the match, Santino gets a beat down from Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre, now in matching outfits, and officially known as “3MB.”
    After a break, we get a recap of Vince’s ultimatum to Punk.
    Vicki Guerro asks us to “EXCUSE” her, so she can introduce Dolph Ziggler. Dolph cuts a promo on Ryback and demands a shot at Punk. David Otunga comes out, cuts a promo on Ziggler and Vicki, and demands a shot at punk. AJ Lee comes out, and puts them in a handicap match against Ryback.
    RYBACK VS SHO-TUNGA (DOLPH ZIGGLER/DAVID OTUNGA) – Ziggler bails on his partner, and Ryback shell-shocks Otunga for the win.
    What was supposed to happen?
    Backstage; Vince is on the phone when he’s interrupted by “a plague of locusts.” Paul Heyman – plague in question – proposes a rematch with Punk where, if Punk “should happen” to win, he gets to pick his opponent for HitC. Vince counter-offers with the idea of HEYMAN facing Vince in the ring for Punk’s option to choose. Heyman starts whining and Vince shouts him out of the office, because that wouldn’t have been interesting.
    Elsewhere backstage; Matt Stryker requests an apology from team “Hell No,” for their attack on him last Friday on Smackdown, he makes the mistake of using the word “crazy,” and AJ puts him in a match w/Kane.
    After the break, we see video of Cena being named honorary captain of the NY Jets football team. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt anyone.
    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cesaro is getting the reverse booking of Ryback, getting hard fought wins while making his opponents look good. Gabriel gets in a lot of offense, including a sic 450 off the top, but it ends with Cesaro hitting the “Neutralizer” for the three-count.
    After the break, we see Matt Stryker in the ring, and Kane makes his entrance w/pyro.
    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE VS MATT STRYKER – Stryker tries to talk his way out of this match, Kane agrees to “hug it out” w/him. Kan doesn’t let go however, and after a vicious shaking, Stryker takes a choke-slam. Kane decides to “interview” an unconscious Stryker and loudly declares “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”
    We get a recap of the lousy Larry King segment from last week and a promo for “MizTV” after the break.
    We come back to the MizTV segment. I’ll cut to the chase. Miz insults Kofi, Kofi challenges him to a match, Miz says Kofi will never be more than his catch phrase, Kofi jumps Miz and trashes the set.  According to the announce team, AJ has confirmed the match.

    Back from break, we get a recap of the Big Show catching Sheamus by the foot and tossing him out of the ring last week.

    WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS VS WADE BARRETT – Hard fought brawl with the pace slowly building while the tide turns back and forth. After the first few minutes, Big Show comes out to ringside as we go to commercial.

    Back from the break, Sheamus and Barrett trade heavy shots and take turns tossing each other around, until Show pulls down the top rope, and Sheamus goes over and out to the floor. Sheamus gets the DQ, and gets in a Brogue kick to Barrett before sending Show out the ring w/a clothesline.

    After a recap of the Vince/Punk face off, we get Vince in the back with Cena. Vince asks Cena about what his doctor said, Cena says it doesn’t matter, and tells Vince it’s up to him.

    Divas Champion Eve comes out to the ring as we go to break.
    DIVAS CHAMPION EVE TORRES VS LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP) – We get a quick recap of how Eve got the title shot at Night Of Champions after Kaitlyn (who Layla was supposed to face) was injured by a “mysterious attacker.” Match is better than you’d expect with the exception of a few unconvincing kicks by Layla, and ends with the ref counting three on Layla despite her foot being on the ropes. Eve knocks it off after the three-count but before the ref sees it.

    We go to a spot with Stephanie McMahon speaking about the WWE’s partnership with NothingButNets.com, a charity for underprivileged youth.

    Backstage; Kane is laughing at Bryan’s misfortune after facing Big Show. Bryan dares Kane to face Big Show next week.
    Rhodes Scholars come out for their tag match, after the break.

    We come back with 3MB rushing the stage at a nearby bar. They act like they’re going to play but security throws them out.

    RHODES SCHOLARS (CODY RHODES/DAMIEN SANDOW) VS PRIMO/EPICO W/ROSA – We are told the tag team tournament finals will be next week, when Cody and Damien face Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara. This is a solid but standard tag with Rhodes and Sandow getting the win.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE MIZ VS KOFI KINGSTON – Quick hard fought match ends with Miz taking a SCARY “trouble in paradise” kick to the face. Kofi gets a three-count and Miz gets an open head wound.

    We get an announcement of the Rolling Stones PPV concert sponsored by WWE.

    The show ends with the HitC contract signing. Punk goes off on Vince but Cena interrupts him, and actually hypes the crow into a “FEED ME MORE” chant. The show ends with Vince giving Ryback the shot and Ryback giving Punk the shell-shock.

  4. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 07/17/2012

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    We open up with CM Punk opening the show as Cole/King recap his match w/Daniel Bryan @ MiTB.

    “This may sound a little strange coming from someone who’s straight edge, but… I LOVE LAS VEGAS!” – CM Punk

    Punk takes us back to the “pipe bomb” promo of last year and talks about how a guy who looks/talks/acts like him would never have been on the first RAW, let alone champion for eight months. He plans on holding that title next week on the 1000th episode.
    (more…)

  5. RAW is ThinkSoJoE!

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    Uh-Oh! It’s not the Big O, Broskis, it is in fact I, the ringleader of this little group of smarks we call BoredWrestlingFan.com, ThinkSoJoE!  Justin Ruff is not feeling well this evening and we wish him a speedy recovery as I dive head first into Monday Night RAW!  The best part about this is, I don’t know ANYTHING about tonight’s show other than Shawn Michaels is on it, so I can review this and give my thoughts as I initially watch.  And here you thought I only did the podcasts!

    Time for the dog show!  Oh wait, they don’t preempt RAW for that anymore.  You can watch it on CNBC, if you’re so inclined.  Except this aired 3 hours ago, so you can’t.

    (more…)

  6. Power Poll: 1/7/11… Still Animated, still Giffy…

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    Another week. But this is the first week of the New Year, and let’s see how things round out to kick off 2011. Hopefully, we’ll be able to compare this next year to the rankings to start off 2012… but until then:
    (more…)

  7. SmackDown results 2/13/2010

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    Holy crap, it’s a trifecta of ThinkSoJoE goodness this week!  Perhaps I’ll do a “ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts” column this weekend and make it four!  I do have a lot to talk about this week, so that’s always a possibility.  Anyways, I watched SmackDown earlier, and hadn’t gotten online to get the message that Drow wouldn’t be here this week until just now, so I’ll do my best to relate to you what happened on tonight’s show.  And if my memory is fuzzy, there’s always YouTube…

    (more…)

  9. WWE Superstars Results 7/2/09

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    Hi, ThinkSoJoE here for WWE Superstars, filling in for tharvey1 who is on vacation this week. This is the first time I’ve ever actually watched this entire show, so here we go!

    Santino Marella is the first Superstar we see. His opponent tonight is The Brian Kendrick. Jerry Lawler talks to Michael Cole about Twitter – where you can find BoredWrestlingFan.com at twitter.com/brdwrstlngfn

    Santino Marella def. The Brian Kendrick

    I’m going to try to do the format that tharvey1 uses here every week some justice. Kendrick controlled the match until he started telling Santino he was a loser and begun slapping him. Santino says “oh, you make-a me so mad!” He then goes on the offense, eventually picking up the win with a rollup. Funny match.

    Later on tonight, CM Punk takes on Edge!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Charlie Haas is in the ring when we come back. Know what that means? He’s going to lose. Especially since his opponent is John Morrison, who beat CM Punk last week on SmackDown.

    John Morrison def. Charlie Haas

    Younger viewers may remember the original WWF Superstars television show, where all the matches were squashes. This could’ve very well been on that show. Nice to see you, Charlie, eat Starship Pain.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Oh radio, tell me everything you know…

    Zack Ryder is on this show pretty much every week. Woo Woo Woo, you know it. His opponent, as announced Tuesday on ECW, is Tyler Reks, who has generic surf music.

    Zack Ryder def. Tyler Reks

    Reks held his own, but Ryder put him away with the Zack Attack. Woo Woo Woo

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Video Package: Christian, for no apparent reason.

    RAW Rebound: Mark Henry pinned Randy Orton.

    The Bash: CM Punk hurt his eye and apparently inadvertantly kicked the referee

    Speaking of Punk, here’s the World Heavyweight Champion now!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    One half of the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, The Rated R Superstar, EDGE! makes his way to the ring, and we’re ready for our main event!

    Edge def. CM Punk

    Punk’s eye is the story here. Edge continues to work over the injury. That’s not to say Edge dominated, Punk showed an aggressive streak at times. Punk went for the GTS and Edge raked his eye to escape. Punk told the referee he couldn’t see, and the referee rang the bell, awarding the victory “by forfiet” to Edge.

    Josh Matthews asks CM Punk if he’d done the same thing if this were a title match. Punk says his eye is more than a little bit injured. He doesn’t want to forfiet anything, but if he can’t see he can’t compete. He’ll be happy to grant Edge a rematch when his eye is better, but he can’t see right now.

    That’s it, that’s the show – now it’s time to cross the line! Drow will be around in the next 24 hours with the iMPACT! review.

  10. RAW 9/15/08

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    Former World Champion CM Punk tries to get his title back in a steel cage against Chris Jericho.  Plus, Kane takes on Rey Mysterio.  All this and more as RAW is LIVE from Memphis, TN!

    Detailed results after the jump! (more…)