I watched SmackDown, but I was eating at the time and didn’t feel like actually reviewing the show. So, to keep up with things this week, I’m going to do a recap/thoughts column on the show. Hope you enjoy it!
In ring segment: Teddy Long says that John Cena is more than welcome to join SmackDown if he should lose at Bragging Rights. CM Punk comes out and demands a submission match against The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship with Scott Armstrong as the referee and Long at ringside at the PPV. Long says he can’t do that. Before he gets a chance to announce his plans, Mr. McMahon steals his thunder and announces that Long was planning a fatal four way pitting The Undertaker against CM Punk, Batista, and Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship at Bragging Rights.
Match #1: Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho following a 619.
Word Up: This week’s word is Eve, because she’s next.
Match #2: Michelle McCool def. Eve.
Backstage segment: Teddy Long enters his office to find Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar. Vickie says that The Undertaker is going to be furious and that Punk should’ve gotten a one on one rematch.
Match #3: John Morrison def. Dolph Ziggler in an Intercontinental Championship match. Ziggler set a chair at ringside, but Maria took it and sat on it before he could use it, leading Morrison to use the distraction to pick up the victory.
Backstage segment: Dolph tells Maria that he sees bright lights in his professional future, but he doesn’t see her in his personal future.
Match #4: Drew McIntyre & Kane def. R-Truth & Matt Hardy. For the love of not seeing your underwear every week, Matt, please go back to regular pants!
Backstage segment: Rey Mysterio and Batista agree that the best man should win at Bragging Rights.
Match #5: CM Punk def. Batista via count out.
My thoughts: If the rumors are true that Punk is in the WWE doghouse for not dressing in a suit when it doesn’t fit his gimmick, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. The Undertaker does NOT need the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s a legend, and a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame the moment he retires. Batista gets injured every time he wins a major championship, and Mysterio hasn’t done much of anything lately to indicate that he’d have a successful run with the title.
Dolph Ziggler either needs to win the title, or move on from trying to win it. I like Ziggler, I like Morrison, I don’t mind them feuding, but it should’ve been Ziggler who picked up the title from Rey Mysterio in the first place.
And Matt Hardy. I’m begging you Matt, go back to pants. The tights look terrible on you, they’re just not your style. And yes, I will say this every week in my SmackDown reviews.
Tiffany was apparently in a car accident, so while she’s recovering, William Regal is in charge. He’s been ordered not to make any decisions involving the ECW Championship, including Number One Contenders matches. He’s made a change to tonight’s main event however. It will now be Christian vs. Zack Ryder, Vladimir Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, and William Regal in a 4 on 1 handicapped match.
Abraham Washington Show with guest, Intercontinental Champion John Morrison
And you guys wonder why I don’t watch this show anymore. BTW, Morrison was on “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” earlier tonight. He lost on the last question, but the show sent $2500 in his name to the Make A Wish Foundation anyway. Morrison takes shots at The Miz and Dolph Ziggler, until Ziggler comes out and takes a seat next to him on the couch. After some bad Dolph Lundgren jokes, we reach the punchline of John Morrison calling Ziggler “Mr. Ziggles.” Even Morrison and Ziggler couldn’t save this segment.
Backstage, Regal is on the phone defending his decision to make the match tonight. Ryder comes in and says that he’s got it on his own, but Regal says that the board of directors has made the match Regal, Kozlov, Jackson, and Ryder vs. Christian, Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer, and Goldust. Ryder questions Regal’s management abilities.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Shelton Benjamin def. Paul Burchill
Sheamus assaulted Shelton Benjamin from behind when he was on his way to the ring. The referee asked him if he still wanted to wrestle, and he said yes. It’s all Burchill through this match – until Benjamin dropped him with Pay Dirt for the victory.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
We waste a bunch of time talking about RAW’s main event for Hell In A Cell. Then Christian gives a pep talk to his team.
Christian, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust, & Yoshi Tatsu def. William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson, Vladimir Kozlov, & Zack Ryder
Teddy Long shows up in his limo and looks paranoid after what he did to The Undertaker this past Sunday at Breaking Point. He surrounds himself with security and asks them to stick close to him.
The SmackDown video plays, and we’re on our way!
Batista is here. Great. He chose to be on SmackDown, and he can’t wait to get started.
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
Chris Jericho is here to save this segment. He says Batista makes him sick. He calls him an injury prone loser like Edge. He tells Batista that Jericho is the true face of SmackDown, and that everybody knows it. A lot has changed since Batista’s been gone, and he’s been gone a long time, and Jericho is now the man on this show. Batista says to be the man, you’ve gotta beat the man. He says they’ll have a chance to catch up, because tonight, Jericho has a match against Batista. The Animal promptly hits a spinebuster on Jericho.
Jericho asks Big Show backstage where he was. Big Show says that Jericho wanted to do it by himself. Jericho says he’ll do it by himself and tells Show to wait backstage. Show tells him to relax.
Still to come, an interview with Scott Armstrong.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Dolph Ziggler is sitting in on commentary, and the WWE Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison makes his way to the ring for action. His opponent will be Mike Knox, who gives us a lesson on Restless Leg Syndrome.
John Morrison def. Mike Knox
SmackDown always has the best wrestling of the week. This match, no exception. Morrison picks up the win with the Starship Pain.
Morrison takes the mic after the match and he says he hopes Dolph had a good time playing footsie with Todd Grisham (who is awesome on the new SmackDown 10th Anniversary DVD). He says does the Mr. Ziggles bit again, and it’s way less funny this week. The fans aren’t getting behind it as much, either.
Todd Grisham and JR show us footage from Breaking Point. Meaning, if you paid for it, you should be pissed off because they just showed the only important part of the whole show on free television. Anyways, Josh Matthews asks Armstrong why he did what he did. He says he answered to somebody in a position much higher than the one he’s at. He was asked to do something he knew was wrong, and something he’s not proud of. He makes no excuses, he did what he had to do to keep his job.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Batista vs. Chris Jericho will be our main event tonight, but for now, here’s somebody that Batista’s allegedly slept with, Melina! Her opponent, the WWE Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool, limps to the ring.
Michelle McCool def. Melina
Justin Roberts did not announce this as a Triple Threat. Anyhow, Michelle is aggressive in this one, but it’s not enough as Melina picks up the victory with a rolling powerbomb.
Teddy Long is backstage with his security force when Mr. McMahon walks in. The Chairman excuses the security team and he wonders again where his picture was. He enjoyed the surprise of Batista coming to SmackDown. He doesn’t seem so impressed with what he came up with for Breaking Point. He wants to know why T-Lo double crossed The Undertaker. McMahon wants an explanation, and it’d better be the right one. In fact, he owes the WWE Universe an answer. He sends Long to the ring and tells him he’ll be waiting back in his office. He asks if Long has any idea what The Undertaker is going to do to him. Long heads to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Theodore Long is flanked by security as he heads to the ring to offer up an explanation as to why he screwed The Undertaker at Breaking Point. Long welcomes Batista back to SmackDown. He then admits that all of this was pre-planned. It was pre-planned to prevent The Undertaker from becoming the World Heavyweight Champion. Long isn’t going to say that he’s proud of what he did, because he’s not. He’s not going to say that he’s not afraid of The Undertaker, because he is. He knows that The Undertaker may show up here sometime tonight, which is why he’s surrounded himself with security. He’s not the only one involved, Scott Armstrong and CM Punk were in on it too. Long knows how he feels about this conspiracy, and he’d like to tell us why he did what he did. You see, he’s got a family to take care of. Times are tough, and he can’t let them down. He’s too old to learn to do something new, so therefore, he’d like to apologize for his actions. The crowd boos. He says he’d like to apologize to the WWE Universe, and he’d like to apologize to each and every one of the fans. He’d especially like to apologize to The Undertaker. One last thing. He hopes that The Undertaker can find it in his heart to forgive him. Long leaves with his security in tow.
Backstage, the security team hears noises as they walk Long to his limo. Long gets in and tells the drive he’s ready to go. The doors lock, the privacy window rolls down, and The Undertaker says “Buckle up, Teddy” as smoke and lightning fill the back of the limo.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK> – if you’re in the Buffalo area, MyNetwork TV is giving away tickets to Monday Night RAW in a “watch and win” sweepstakes. Yes, it’s possible to win – I won last week!
CM Punk, the World Heavyweight Champion is here, and he has a microphone. He says, “I told you so.” Punk says he’s the only man who ever made The Undertaker tap out. Which isn’t true. Watch the Angle/Undertaker match on the SmackDown DVD. Punk admits he’s been preaching, because the people need a good preaching to. He then goes on a tirade about drugs. He calls everybody a liar, and says he’s a prophet, the choice of a new generation, a champion everybody can be proud of, the first and only straight edge World Heavyweight Champion in history. If you’re not Straight Edge like Punk, that means he’s better than you.
Still to come, Batista vs. Chris Jericho!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The Great Khali vs. Kane is still to come, but right now, it’s Cryme Tyme. Did I fall asleep and miss the good matches on SmackDown and wake up on Monday? Their opponents are from Canada, which happens to be where SmackDown is, so they’re getting cheered – they’re the Hart Dynasty!
The Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme
I swear if the Harts lose tonight, I’m done with WWE. Luckily, Kidd hit the Blockbuster on JTG and picked up the victory, so it hasn’t come to that.
Melina is looking trashy as ever backstage when she walks into the Divas locker room, which is plastered with pictures of Dolph Ziggler helping Michelle McCool last week. Maria says she’s sure Dolph has a logical explanation and wonders why Melina wouldn’t come to her with this instead of plastering pictures all over the wall. Melina tries to explain that she didn’t do it, but Maria walks away.
Still to come, Batista vs. Jericho, but up next, Kane vs. Khali.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The Great Khali is out first for this next abomination of a professional wrestling match. Kane follows, and we’re underway.
Kane vs. The Great Khali
Kane knocked Khali out with a chair.
After the bell, Kane used the steel steps to completely destroy Khali’s knee.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
WWE Smack of the Week: Drew McIntyre destroying R-Truth over the last few weeks.
Charlie Haas is on non-entrance jobber duty. R-Truth’s music plays, but Drew McIntyre comes out instead. He says R-Truth had an accident in the backstage area and can’t compete. He declare Haas the winner by forfeit. Haas shakes his hand, and then gets attacked and dropped with a double armed DDT.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Batista def. Chris Jericho
Jericho went for a Codebreaker but was caught and hit with a Batista Bomb for the win.
Backstage, Big Show says Batista got lucky, and that when he gets in the ring with him next week, his luck will run out.
Sorry for the lack of detail, guys, I got caught up in something else that I didn’t think would take as long as it has. I’m hitting up an independent show tomorrow night, so I’ll be here to give you thoughts and pictures from that. See you then!
Santino got a huge pop when he came out. Masters gets the win with the Masterlock. Santino is pure gold though.
Match 2: Christian vs Paul Burchill
Christian is the man! Respect the champ, Peeps!!!! Zack Ryder is doing guest commentary. Apparently Ryder has tanned everyday this week. He also sent out a shoutout to his girlfriend…xoxo. Captain Charisma gets the win via the Unprettier. I know its called the Killswitch now, but it will always be the Unprettier to me.
Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton. He says he will make John Cena suffer at HIAC and become WWE Champ yet again.
Main Event: Dolph Ziggler vs Finlay
Mr. Ziggles gets the win after an eye rake and his Zig Zag.
Thats it for this week. Check out next week. PEACE OUT!!
Holy Crap! We have a Jimmy Wang Yang sighting. Kane totally destroys him, but he got tv time.
Match 2: Yoshi Tatsu vs Shaemus
Shaemus is becoming one of my favorites! This guy is huge and good, which usually doesn’t happen. Sheamus gets the win.
Match 3: Katie Lea vs Nikki Bella…or is it Bre?
The Bella’s use the ole switcharoo and Bre ends up pinning Katie Lea.
Match 4: Dolph Ziggler vs Slam Master J
Dolph gets the win here. Slam Master J would have been great in 2 Cool, but now his gimmick is terrible. He needs to restart the Freebirds. Why did the IC Title match get scrapped for Breaking Point?
Main Event: The Miz and Jack Swagger vs Kofi Kingston and Primo
The Miz gets the pin in this one. The Miz and Swagger should be main eventing PPVs by now.
Fresh off my coverage of the 22nd SummerSlam, I’ve saved this time to recap the event.
The PPV as a whole was between average and good. I enjoyed what I saw of the first match between Mysterio and Ziggler, and all bar the ending of the TLC match for the World Heavyweight Championship, but other than that, I personally wasnt excited, even with the 16th return of D-Generation X.
I made up for the average 2009 version, by watching the 1998 edition of SummerSlam. Watching Jeff Jarrett get his hair cut by X-Pac and one-night only DX member, Howard Finkel, to Mankind defending the Tag Team titles unsuccessfully by himself against the New Age Outlaws to the Ladder match between Triple H and the Rock, and Stone Cold defeating the Undertaker for the WWF Championship.
Speaking of the WWE, I have decided to boycott all WWE programming until furhter notice, due to the sheer rubbish that it brings up every week. I will determine a return time in the future, but until then, I will not watch RAW, ECW or SmackDown!
Moving to the other side of the tracks so to speak, and this week on TNA’s iMPACT broadcast, history will be made. TNA President, Dixie Carter, will make her first appearance on the broadcast, and will make an announcement involving Bobby Lashley. Looks like another interesting iMPACT on the way (even though I already know what happens, thanks to the creator of these here parts).
Moving into the sporting world now, and former New York Giants Wide receiver Plaxico Burress was sentenced to two years prison for shooting himself pretty much. There goes him signing for the Eagles this year.
Brett Favre flunked in his first pre-season game wearing the Purple of the Minnesota Vikings. He went 1-4 with just 4 yards, in 2 sets of plays. First, the now fourth-string QB, John David Booty, gives his #4 to Favre, then Favre has 4 pass attempts, and gets 4 yards. I sense a pattern. The weird thing about all this? Brett Favre’s favourite number is 7.
For those who haven’t heard of Caster Semenya, well arent you in for a surprise. Semanya, won the Women’s 800m race at the IAAF Athletics Championships recently. However, she could be stripped of the Gold medal, as officals aren’t sure if 18 year old is infact, a female. Here’s a picture of her. I’ll let the BWF readers decide for themselves. Here’s more information on the story. If you still aren’t unsure, if you unjumble the letters of her full name ‘Caster Semenya’ you get ‘Yes, A secret man’. I think we just found JT’s latest girl.
RIP Sen. Ted Kennedy. He passed away Tuesday after a long battle with Brain cancer.
I’m looking to picking up the new Rise and Fall of WCW dvd. I hear good things.
That’s all for the War for another week. It looks like I’m recapping ECW again this week, as well as SmackDown! from last week. Unless of course, someone else picks up the slack. If they don’t, then they’ll be there by the end of the week.
Stay tuned to BWF throughout the week for your wrestling fix.
I’m slacking again, aren’t I? I missed reviewing SmackDown on Friday, but to be fair, I haven’t had a lot of time to do anything all weekend. I missed my usual Saturday timeslot for ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts. I did not, however, miss SummerSlam.
It’s very rare for me to miss any of the big four WWE Pay Per Views. I’ve been watching SummerSlam since 1988, and I wasn’t about to let the fact that I was only on about 3 hours sleep and am going to be trying to get a new job in the morning get in my way of watching the 21st edition of the Biggest Party of the Summer. Besides, CM Punk was winning his title back.
We’ll start at the beginning, I guess. Rey Mysterio beat Dolph Ziggler, which is fine with me. My biggest problem with the match is that Mysterio came out first. I remember watching a WCW show – I want to say it was a Clash of the Champions event on TBS – and whoever the champion was at the time came out first for the main event. The announcers explained that the champion wanted to come out first to avoid being assaulted backstage – or something like that. Anyways, the point is, in championship matches, it’s the challenger that’s supposed to come out first. If you have to have the champion come out first, give us a reason for it. Don’t just wake up one day and decide, “ah, you know what, I’m going to chuck tradition out the window and have the champion come out first for almost every title match.”
Later in the night, The Big Show and Chris Jericho also came to the ring first for their title defense, as did Christian for his.
Speaking of Christian, I actually missed the match. I was in the BWF forums typing a message before the bell rang, and by time I clicked over, Regal was standing tall over Christian, who retained his title in a SummerSlam-record 8 seconds before being beaten down by Regal and his cronies.
Was anybody else really hoping that Legacy would get the win over DX? I was already tired of RAW, now I have DX to deal with every week. Fun.
That Orton/Cena match was bizarre. From the second Lillian screwed up her announcement of the first false finish, to the fan who jumped in and attacked the referee, it was just a strange match. The question remains whether or not that fan was a plant or just some stupid mark. The fact that it looked like Cena had the match all but won and wound up losing due to the involvement of that “fan” leads me to believe that it was definitely a plant.
And the Undertaker returned. While I was expecting the lights to go out and a message to be sent to CM Punk, I was certainly not expecting The Undertaker to magically appear in the place of Jeff Hardy and chokeslam Punk.
Tonight should prove to be Lillian’s last night with the WWE, and Friday’s SmackDown may be Jeff Hardy’s last night, but of course, Matt Hardy has said that Jeff is staying with the company past SummerSlam. Take that for what it’s worth, it was another Matt Hardy attempt to work the internet.
That’s it for me guys, I should be around tonight with the WWE RAW results.
The main event for WWE Superstars is John Morrison vs Kane. Let the randomness begin.
Match 1: Christian (the next ECW champ) vs the man who despises foreigners William Regal
Continuous lockup to start the match, into a reversal of headlocks. This match has shown alot of flexibilitly and technical skill. William Regal pushes Christian off the top rope and to the outside, in a dangerous bump. You Suck chants aimed towards Regal start in the crowd. Back in the ring after the commercial break, Regal controls Christian’s head and neck in a series of blows and torque moves. After being sent back outside the ring, Christian re-enters and connects on two missile dropkicks from the top rope, but misses on the flying headbutt. Regal gets a near fall after a reverse t-bone suplex. Christian gets thrown into the corner and hits the springboard sunset flip on Regal for the win.
Match 2: Evan Bourne vs Jamie Noble
Jamie Noble has gotten slow. This match was a pretty good back and forth contest. Evan Bourne is amazing in the air. At one point, he came off the ropes and connected on a head scissors take down from a standing position. Bourne gets the win after the prettiest move in professional wrestling. His Shooting Star Press is what makes him a superstar.
Main Event: Kane vs The Friday Night Delight, The Shaman of Sexy, The Guru of Greatness John Morrison
Morrison is a future World Champion. Hopefully sooner rather than later too. This match was really good. Any time you have the best athlete in the company going up against one of the greatest big men to ever step foot in the ring, you have a great mix. John Morrison gets the win after Kane threw a chair in his face. As Kane looks to do more damage, Khali comes out and Morrison hits Kane in the back with a chair. Kane then runs off as Khali enters the ring.
Night of Champions predictions
Dolph Ziggler (challenger) vs Rey Mysterio (Intercontinental Champion)
Winner- Rey Mysterio
Christian (challenger) vs Tommy Dreamer (ECW Champion)
Winner- Christian
6-pack Challenge: Kofi Kingston (US Champion) vs The Miz vs The Big Show vs Carlito vs MVP vs Jack Swagger
Winner- Jack Swagger
Maryse (Diva Champion) vs Mickie James
Winner- Maryse
Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes (challengers) vs Chris Jericho and mystery partner (Tag Champs)
Mystery Partner- Brett DiBiase (why not right)
Winners- Jericho and DiBiase
Jeff Hardy (challenger) vs CM Punk (World Heavyweight champ)
Well, I had a SmackDown review all typed up and ready to go, but unfortunately, my laptop decided it didn’t want to respond to the keyboard or mouse anymore, so I couldn’t even save my work, since I was working offline. D’oh! Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to send some traffic to that other wrestling website.
