So Gee, you know Gee right? He writes those Smackdown reviews that are infinitely better than the RAW reviews. To be fair RAW sucks. Joe does what he can with a bad product. Look at what happened when I tried to review that show. Well anyway, Gee posted a link to a story on Reddit that Punk was pretty much done with the company. He told Vince that he was leaving and, true to his word, left. The story is that Punk is just really, really tired. He’s burnt out and he’s tired of not being pushed and pretty much everything he said in that good old Pipe Bomb promo from years past.

At first I was all “Oh no, not Punk. What will they do without him?” and then I remembered something. It goes against every rule of being an IWC member, and certainly a “wrestling journalist” (I write reviews and fantasy book, I’m a journalist now) but I’ve not been that big on Punk for a while now. It’ll be interesting to see what comes of this but I don’t think he’s as big a loss as say, Bryan, would be at this point. Things just really went downhill after the Taker match. The Lesnar stuff was good but the rest of it with Paul Heyman just went on way too long. Punk must have gotten his hands on Heyman about four or five times before that feud finally died.

As I’ve confessed on the show before, I started watching the product about seven years ago. I enjoyed Punk as he belittled Rey Mysterio in front of his family and sang “Happy birthday” to his daughter. The cage match he had with Jeff Hardy was actually the match where Kayfabe died for me (true story). I loved him as the leader of both the Straight Edge Society and the New Nexus (yes I’m the guy that enjoyed that stuff) and of course, there was the legendary Pipe Bomb. He spent a year plus as the champion, he fought guy after guy after guy in defence of the ultimate prize in the WWE; the title. Was he in the main event? No. Of course not. He’s not Cena. Only Cena can be in the main event. Then he lost the title to a part timer in The Rock. He got Taker after that but just wasn’t the same. After that…well I already covered that. I’ll admit that I would have probably enjoyed seeing him face Triple H at Mania if that was the plan. I still enjoy Punk on some level, and I’ll always say he’s damn good at what he does, but he’s just a shell of his former self. I can’t blame him if he decides to quit. It seems the company quit on him a while back.

He’s essentially become what Daniel Bryan could be if things don’t change for him; A guy who the fans love, who’s never allowed to be on top, and has just been put down so much no one believes what he says. He’s the Kofi Kingston of the main event. Whenever Kofi gets pushed, no one believes it. Whenever Punk gets pushed, I don’t believe it. I’ll be sad to see him gone, but I won’t be surprised and like he said in the aforementioned “Pipe Bomb”; “After I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that”

What should you take away from this? BATISTA RUINS EVERYTHING. A week after he joins the company again and everything has gone to shit.

What the fuck did I pay $55 for last night?  I swear, with Batista winning the Royal Rumble and now set to headline WrestleMania, I’m glad the “granddaddy of them all” will be available as part of the WWE Network, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be paying full price for it.  It would probably be another main event like last year, where nobody gives a shit and we all sit around playing card games instead of paying attention to the PPV.  Let’s see if they make up for one of, in my opinion, the worst WWE Pay Per Views of all time.

I watch 30 minutes of this show, then go to work.  Then I watch the rest and write about it so you don’t have to suffer through it yourself.  You’re welcome.

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…Lets hope I’m doing this right…..

To make an attempt to be less lazy I will be live updating this post with any and all thoughts of the Royal Rumble and pre-show.

My picks:

Rhodes vs. New Age Outlaws: Rhodes

Bray Wyatt vs. Daniel Bryan: Daniel Bryan

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show: Brock Lesnar

Randy Orton vs. John Cena: Randy Orton

Royal Rumble Match: Batista, I really want Punk or D Bryan to win though

Pre-Show thoughts:

They’re rushing this match already and they’ve only done intros.  New Age Outlaws still have it.  WWE commercials during a pre-show so I don’t get to watch the whole tag match annoys me.  I love watching Cody, he just gets better and better and always adds new moves to his arsenal.  I love watching four superstars tell a great story, even if they only had about ten minutes to do so.  I’m so happy I’m wrong with my prediction and the New Age Outlaws won.  One of my favorite tag teams and they deserve this screen time. B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Daniel Bryan

I hope Bryan wins, gets beat down but makes a surprise entrance and wins the rumble, just my thoughts.  10 minutes in and we finally get a lock up.  So the heel doesn’t need help to win?  Thank god the referee can’t count to 10.  Wyatt is a great foil for Bryan.  The commentary team seems to have no idea what to say in this match?  Apparently, Vince isn’t in their ears.  Tornado DDT from the apron was sloppy but very awesome.  Inside outside closeline heard round the world.  That was a well fought match and helped both competitors.  Nobody truly lost in this match.  Some great spots and great story telling. B+

Paul Heyman is a great wrestling mind and an amazing mouthpiece.  Just him alone, could push the Lesnar/Big Show to Wrestlemania if he wanted to.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

I guess a steel chair is a good way to start this?  It’s nice to see an actual match is gonna take place with all the hype they’ve created.  Wow, this was not worth it all all.  This was the worst match these two have ever had with each other! D+

Why is the aftermath longer than the match?

When I watch wrestling I always think “I wonder where I should do my taxes”?

A cool Shield interview and now it’s time for the…..longest……..interview……..ever…….with R….a…..n….d…..y……….O…..r…..t…..o…..n

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

After 5 minutes, Randy Orton, the champion, comes out first.  Who cares about tradition?  Now lets wait 90 seconds for the Cena pop.  I feel like I’ve seen this match a hundred times before..oh wait, duh.  And this commentary is terrible.  Is this their version of a sit in because of JR being fired?  “This is awe-full chants”, people keep cheering at pinfalls just because they hope the match is over.  So I had to watch a 30 minute crap match just to start a feud with the Wyatts.  I’m just happy the #rematch is over. C

Lets recap the Tag Team Championship win by the New Age Outlaws.  Awesome match, awesome team.

Royal Rumble Match:

Rollins and Punk starting out was a good choice to start things.  Sandow was eliminated first.  I’m okay with it because I can tell WWE sees a bright future with him.  Well, the Bulgarian Fruit…er, I mean Bruit was a surprise.  Time for Kofi spot time and I’m not disappointed.  Surprised with Kofi’s second spot and then even more with Kevin Nash’s entrance.  I love seeing Nash in Royal Rumbles.  The months of rumors are true, Sheamus is back.  At this moment after Miz comes out I ask where CM Punk went.  I had to be told that he caught a triple powerbomb during Sheamus’s entrance; poor camera work WWE.  JBL completely pulling a Jerry Lawler from ’97.  Funny moments but I still wish Jake Roberts had a number.  The fans showing how much Daniel Bryan is over by booing the remaining entrants, agreed.  Roman Reigns now holds the record for most eliminations in a Royal Rumble and I’m completely okay.  Strong outing for him.  Batista won as we all new it.  C+

Funny enough, my computer died at the end of the last sentence but all in all this was an okay PPV.  A sub par Rumble but an okay PPV. C-

Joe, JT, G, Jorge, and Mark are all joined by occasional guest host Brian Lee Muller to talk all things Royal Rumble.  Aside from the usual predictions, the crew answer some interesting questions for speculation, and speculate on who you may see in the Rumble tonight that isn’t currently advertised.  In the news, Hulk Hogan, Sting, and Ultimate Warrior’s WWE statuses are discussed.  MVP and Shelton Benjamin say they’re not going to be anywhere near Pittsburgh tonight.  The Million Dollar Man’s other son has a showdown with police.  All this, and much, much more!  Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 110 (MP3, 2:16:47)

This week’s break song was “What Would Brian Boitano Do? (Part 2)” by DVDA.  Buy it here!

Smackdown will set the stage for this Sunday’s Royal Rumble PPV, a show that most people tune in for to watch the start of the “Road to WrestleMania”. Needless to say, being the last episode before this goes down, very little is expected to happen. This should be a fairly short review.

Hopping time…

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Another week another Impact. On the show we’ll be talking about the Royal Rumble too, so this isn’t that necessary. Damn.

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Usually, I watch 30 minutes of the show and have to leave for work.  This evening, however, I was home for the first 2:15 of RAW.  I wasn’t paying much attention though – I was too busy beating Jorge at a game called Cards Against Humanity.  So, I’ll do this review the same way I normally do, just out of necessity for content.  I just won’t be as surprised as I watch, because half the shit I already saw earlier.  Which is usually true of WWE shows lately.  Anyways, I digress.  Let’s go!

I watch RAW.  I beat Jorge at depraved card games.  Then I come to work and review the show.

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What a visual!

Cleveland Browns TE Gary Barnidge returns to the show to talk Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, and the WWE Network.  Jorge takes a week off.  Joe, JT, G, and Mark discuss the week in wrestling, possible ideas for surprise entrants to the Royal Rumble match, and advocate supporting your local indie promotion.  We pay our respects to the late, great Mae Young.  In the news, we talk Ultimate Warrior in the Hall of Fame, Ryback’s rants, and Ric Flair’s court troubles.  We discuss the differences between Kraft dinners in Canada as opposed to the US.  Mexico’s AAA promotion comes to the United States (I’m sure Zeb Colter is thrilled).  We learn potentially why Roddy Piper isn’t in WWE 2K14.  The crew play armchair booker for The Undertaker’s possible opponents at WrestleMania.  All this, and much, much more!  Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 109 (MP3, 2:17:30)

This week’s break song was The Bazaar by The Tea Party.  Buy it here!