Same deal as last week folks. Thanks to a busy day I’m watching Impact while extremely tired and eating my lunch.
The show starts with a small segment with Magnus. He said he left it all in the ring and goes to talk about EGO interfering. Roode comes in and EGO beat Magnus down, telling him he’ll never be champion and he only has himself to blame.
Let’s hip-hop to it, shall we? Word?
Making the “hop to it” phrase about as appropriate as possible this week, right Harley Quinn?
Another quick review folks so here we go:
There are fewer bigger nights than this. Wrestlemania is the event that all events are measured by. This is the WWE’s second-to-last chance to get us to want to buy Wrestlemania.
We begin with a tag match, Orton/Sheamus vs. Bryan/Kane. This match (shoot, this whole Raw) had one purpose-to get us to buy Wrestlemania. I like that they kept opponents separate. Heel Daniel Bryan was pretty impressive for me. I also like his commitment. There is no hesitation from him. The crowd seemed to be really hot and into a lot of the match. Commentary was also very strong. AJ got involved in the match and Bryan/Kane won. What a great first match.
They did a really fun segment/match with Johnny Ace coming out first. Then he introduced his flag-bearer Vickie Guerrero and his team captain David Otunga. Booker T introduced Teddy Long’s flag-bearer Hornswoggle and team captain Santino Marella. As with all good David Otunga matches, it was short. As the match ended Miz did the beatdown and was announced as a member of Team Johnny.
Eve killed Kelly Kelly. In other news, Beth Phoenix looked really hot in that dress. I was wrong. Kelly Kelly is now Super Cena with breasts.
Christian walks out solidifying that he and Jack Swagger have a bad haircut contest. Then out comes Punk to reveal Jericho on the screen. He revealed that Punk was illegitimate. Then Christian attacked him which sent my wife into a tirade about his hair. My wife even liked the match enough to tell me. What a beatdown. Punk has snapped!
Ah, yes. Nothing says focused for Wrestlemania quite like Brodus Clay. Curt Hawkins is on his way to your local Lions Club to put over Johnny Attitude. In his defense, Hawkins sold well.
Big Show killed Primo. Remember when tag team champs weren’t jobbers? Cody Rhodes cut a really good promo.
The Bellas demolish dialogue. So Zack Ryder’s gimmick is that he says stupid things to women. At least they had a focus for Wrestlemania.
Great Khali fought Mark Henry in a match no one wanted to see. It was short and very painless. They had a face off and Booker T came to Teddy’s rescue. So Booker gets his Wrestlemania payday.
Rock and Cena had their final stand-off. Rock sounded like he needed to work on his material in front of a live crowd. His monologue was awful. Then he was met by Cena. Rock has always put over talent. Shoot, he lost to Hurricane once. Now he has put Cena over verbally.
It ended up being a really good Raw. They were focused and everything (except for Clay) seemed to be building towards a Wrestlemania. I’m ready for Wrestlemania. Bring it on.
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As the road to WrestleMania continues, tonight John Laurinaitis is taking over control of Smackdown. And with that, we can only expect madness, chaos, and certainly not Drew McIntyre… because he was fired. Or was he? Only time will tell, so let’s hop to it… shall we?
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Here’s a quick recap of the past two ROH shows: (more…)
I’m almost at a complete loss of words over last night’s WWE RAW. The beginning was great. WWE proved that they could do a show with just four guys, and it would be a great show. Then Vince McMahon came out, and from that point forward, WWE proved that they could do a terrible show with 60 guys.
I don’t know why, but I absolutely loathe John Laurinaitis. I feel that it’s more than just the character, I think I actually despise John Laurinaitis the person. Over the past couple of months I didn’t mind him so much, but as soon as he was appointed “Interim RAW GM,” I started to hate his very being. And the strange thing is, I don’t think it’s his fault that I hate him at all. What I really hate, is heel authority figures in wrestling.
The first couple of times, ok cool. Now, it’s just stale. It’s old. I can’t stand it. This is wrestling. I’m supposed to be rooting for the good guy and booing the bad guy, not rooting for the good guy and booing the good guy’s boss. If I wanted to boo a good guy’s boss, I’d march into my boss’s office with my thumb down.
Look, I get the idea that we’re all supposed to hate our boss, and that when the good guy’s boss finally gets his comeuppance, we’re all supposed to cheer because we’re living vicariously through our favorite Superstar. I actually like my boss. Sure, sometimes I think I’d like to hit him with a Stone Cold Stunner, but most of the time I think I’d rather share a couple of Steveweisers with him (WHAT?).
The fact is, we’ve been doing this same angle for 15 years now. For everything the WWE is doing right – pushing the tag team division, bringing back managers and stables – this is one of the wrongs. There was a time when I’d tune in to WWE programming because I liked the wrestling. A promo here or there and a very rare post-match beatdown went a long way back in those days. Now, we have an hour of promos on a two hour program and a beatdown after every match – almost literally in the case of last night’s RAW – and they’ve lost their effectiveness.
I think what we need in mainstream wrestling – WWE, specifically – is a face authority figure (Teddy Long doesn’t count) who will restore order. Post-match beatdown? $250,000 fine. The effectiveness will eventually be rebuilt because the only time we’d see a post-match beatdown is when somebody dislikes a guy so much that they’ll gladly pay a quarter of a million bucks to get in a few extra shots at them. Is it a perfect suggestion? Maybe not, but at least I’m trying to come up with something different.
For now, I think I’ll vote with my remote control – I’m considering not watching wrestling until they replace Laurinaitis as RAW GM. That’s how strongly I feel about this crap.
Normally AlyKat would be doing her VERY excellent coverage of Monday Night Raw. But due to circumstances beyond her control, you have an opportunity to hear a much different perspective of the night from me. Just think of this as “A Ruff Look at Raw.”
Tonight I will try the live blogging again. I can’t remember the last time I anticipated a Raw this much. There aren’t any gimmicks behind this one; there is just a Raw I want to see really badly tonight. Let’s be honest. Last week was phoned in. This is going to be the true test. Do we get Punk unleashed? Might we even get Cena or Vince unleashed? (Hey, you can’t blame a guy for dreaming.) Are we on the brink of a glory period of wrestling? Rather than a “Golden Age of Wrestling,” we have an “Adamantium Age of Wrestling?”(Better than Gold or Platinum)
We have some questions to answer. Will we see Zack Ryder again? Will Alberto del Rio tell us it’s his destiny to be champion or something? How is Riley doing after Miz’ beatdown? What of the Nexus? And what about this potentially explosively legendary epic moment between Mr. McMahon, John Cena & CM Punk?
The WWE has announced Punk leads off the night with a live mic. This is either going to be “The Promo” or the infamous Matt Hardy promo where he killed his career in 5 minutes. The skinny young Bill Cowher walked to the ring with a megaphone. (Ring of Honor chant #1) Punk cut a great promo about how he has made the WWE relevant. And then John Cena comes out to a surprising pop. The two have a confrontation. This is still all about the match, not Tony Schiavone shooting on Mike Tenay.
John Cena vs. David Otunga & Michael McGillicuddy
God, are you mad at me? Maybe this is a reminder that the WWE has not gone a total 180 and is still a work-in-progress. I’d love to go on the details of this match. But it’s just the last 5 John Cena handicap squash matches. Again. I hate handicap matches. Unless it’s The Giant vs. Pez Whatley & The Gambler. No single person should ever pin the tag team champions cleanly. Can’t we give him Hacksaw Jim Duggan or something? As much as I hate to say this, it was not a bad match. I just hated the premise. It could have been worse. I could have been watching a Keith Stone commercial.
One of the biggest signs that something big was happening during Raw-Twitter crashed. (And something called a Home Run Derby) Dolph and Vickie are talking about the US Title. Drew McIntyre and Vickie both mock “The Boss.” And the Boss showed up. He books them in a handicap match against Big Show. So Vince is a face? And then Scott Stanford asks Vince what the rest of the world thinks or something. Vince tells “the rest of the world” they can go to Hell. So Vince is a heel now? He turns faster than the Acolytes/APA.
We come back from commercial and Melina is back in the ring. We didn’t get to watch her entrance?
Kelly Kelly vs Melina
The Bellas did commentary. I think that is the worst plague to be unleashed on Earth since Glenn Close on the 4th season of The Shield. Kelly finished Melina quicker than Goldberg finished Rick Fuller. And then the Bellas mocked Kelly for being too skinny. So Kharma was too fat? And now Kelly is too skinny? Make up your mind, Bellas. I don’t like the Bellas being in the anti-bullying ad. Are they characters or not? Too many blurry lines.
When we come back from break, Miz climbs on top of the latter and cuts a great promo. And of course he gets interrupted by Jack Swagger. And then Evan Bourne interferes. And then Kofi comes out and we see pyro (I squee). Then we get R-Truth. He is an Acrophobe (me too) and an Arachnophobe. And then Alex Riley runs out. And then we get Alberto del Rio. Then the Anonymous Raw GM makes a match.
We got to see Big Show and Bruce Campbell together in the same segment. Pure awesomeness. Too bad it was for Burn Notice.
The 6-man was hard to keep track of. It got to help further the PPV. This is what they call a go-home show. And they definitely went home. Alex Riley got the pin, so it looks like they are committed to strapping a rocket to Alex Riley. I sure hope he’s ready for it. And Alberto del Rio got to stand in the middle of the ring like he was going to win. That means he will not win.
Big Show vs. Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler
My iPod froze during this match so I spent my focus on resetting it. This is exactly what a handicap match should be. Neither wrestler lost anything. Mark Henry came out and took Big Show through a table. It was a pretty good visual. I love this deadly Mark Henry.
Vince and Punk did their showdown. While Vince sat at the table, Punk paced around the ring with a microphone. Vince called CM Punk by his first name. No wonder Phil goes by “CM Punk.” Punk went over the provisions of his contract. 1. He gets to push Vince. 2. He wants to be WWE Ice Cream Bars. 3. He wants to be in Chaperone II. 4. He wants the Wrestlemania Main Event. 5. He wants Vince to apologize for suspending him. After much prodding (that included Colt Cabana & Luke Gallows), we had this:
“I apologize, you son of a bitch.”
-Vincent Kennedy McMahon
Then Cena came out to the ring. Before his music hit, we had “Colt Cabana” chants. (WTF? Was that real?) Cena regressed into 5th grader Johnny. But there were some moments where Cena would turn into sober, serious John. Punk called Cena the New York Yankees. (Oh, no he didn’t.)
I’m trying to think of what I liked and didn’t like about this Raw. I really liked the WWE’s focus. They needed to push a pay-per-view, and that is exactly what they did. The matches were sub-par. The promos were really good. I am feeling sold on the pay-per-view and I don’t know how this is supposed to end. I’m very intrigued.
Hey hey! It’s the first iMPACT of 2011, and the go-home show before this Sunday’s Genesis PPV. The card looks ok, for the brand, and not too gimmicky either. I know, something doesn’t feel right in the space-time continuum… surely TNA can’t screw up this build, can they?
EMT just tea-bagged that guy on the stretcher…
Time to subjugate myself to witnessing and expressing the torture that is watching iMPACT…. it’s suffering time…
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1. Randy Orton (Last week: 1)
The Viper continues to dominate the Power Poll with a victory over Sheamus in a grueling Hell In A Cell match to retain the WWE Championship (My vote: 1)
2. Kane (2)
The Devil’s Favorite Demon is also the Father of Destruction’s favorite son, as proven by Paul Bearer’s assistance in Kane’s victory over his half brother The Undertaker at Hell In A Cell. (My vote: 5)
3. Wade Barrett (8)
The leader of Nexus finds himself up five spots this week following a victory over John Cena that forced Cena to be a part of the Nexus. Using his new authority over Cena’s career to help himself win the battle royal and become number one contender for Randy Orton’s WWE Championship didn’t hurt, either. (My vote: 2)
4. John Cena (4)
Even I ranked John Cena high on my ballot this week, despite his loss to Wade Barrett at Hell In A Cell. Cena played his role as the conflicted hero forced to join the enemy better than anybody thought he could. Legendary is available on DVD and BluRay at Walmart, I saw it, I enjoyed it, so I’ll plug it here! (My vote: 3)
5. Daniel Bryan (5)
The WWE United States Champion successfully defended his title in a triple threat, submissions count anywhere match at Hell In A Cell against John Morrison and The Miz, in what I consider a Match of the Year candidate. One would have to think that if he hadn’t been beaten so handily by Sheamus this past Monday night on RAW, Bryan’s rank would have gone up. (My vote: 8)
6. Edge (10)
Edge’s war on stupidity ran over three of the nights that this week’s poll covers. On SmackDown he ruined Jack Swagger’s celebration, spearing his eagle mascot. At Hell In A Cell, he interrupted Alberto Del Rio and then defeated Swagger in an impromptu match. His momentum came crashing to a halt on RAW, after being traded to SmackDown and then receiving a beatdown from The Miz and Alex Riley. (My vote: 4)
7. The Miz (6)
Mr. Money in the Bank tapped out at Hell In A Cell, but redeemed himself with the destruction of Edge, while saving Michael Cole, on RAW. (My vote: 9)
8. Sheamus (7)
Sheamus may have lost at Hell in a Cell, but his impressive showing in his match with Randy Orton and his subsequent decimation of Daniel Bryan the following night on RAW allow the Celtic Warrior to stay in the top 10. (My vote: 7)
9. Undertaker (3)
With Paul Bearer by his side last week, The Undertaker rose from the depths of wherever anybody that doesn’t make the Power Poll goes to hit number three, but drops to number nine as Paul Bearer has now aligned himself with Kane and cost The Undertaker the World Heavyweight Championship. (My vote: 10)
10. Alberto Del Rio (NR)
His name is Alberto Del Rio! But you, you already knew that. After mocking Rey Mysterio with an actual chihuahua on SmackDown, Del Rio attacked The Rated R Superstar from behind at Hell In A Cell, putting Edge at a distinct disadvantage in his match with Jack Swagger. (My vote: N/A)
Dropped out: C.M. Punk
Also voted on by me: John Morrison (6)
The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wondeful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com,WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at)gmail.com.