Chris Jericho Archives - Page 8 of 20

RAW 7.26.10

July 26, 2010 11:19 pm 2 Comments

What’s up everyone?! I’m on vacation in Chicago with @Niki_Sushi, as a birthday present to us, but I’m still gonna review RAW! No idea how well this is going to go, but I’m going to do my best, alright? Why’m I still going to do this review? No rest for the wicked.

Now that Cena has gathered a team to do battle with Nexus at SummerSlam, how is the shift in balance going to play out on RAW? And what about Mister Money in the Bank? Is he going to cash in on RAW, or is he going to save his opportunity until he sees the champion down at SummerSlam??

BRRRRRRRRRRR MONKEY POO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring. One day, he’ll realize that orange isn’t his color, I’m hoping. And he stands there… and stands there… And says everything’s better in Texas. Seven weeks ago, Nexus attacked and took over RAW with no warning. Superstars, commentators, cameramen, the Chairman, Hall of Famers, no one was safe. They did it for reasons only they knew. The point is, if Nexus wanted you hurt, you got hurt. Until last Monday. RAW finally said they have had enough. Friends and enemies stood side by side in the ring with one common goal: to beat Nexus at SummerSlam. You will see that they are not invincible. It’s about time, because the more they terrorize, the more power they get. And with power comes great responsibili-I mean influence. With more influence, they’ll start to take out the show. He’s not saying it’s going to be easy, he’s not Superman, he sees himself more as Aquaman. Jericho and Edge aren’t Batman and Robin. The idea of Khali walking around like Wonder Woman is just wrong. Cena photoshopped it, and it was very very disturbing. Every person on team Cena was chosen for a reason, and at SummerSlam-

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

I love Jericho… especially in a tux. Just sayin.

Cena points out Jericho is on the SummerSlam team. The crowd has a Y2J chant going, and Jericho looks a little confused. He says that he was standing backstage, biding his time, counting the minutes until Cena said what Jericho knew he would say. “My team.” “John Cena’s Team.” All week long, people have been approaching Jericho, saying they’re happy he’s on Cena’s team, and has changed his ways. Jericho wants to make something clear: He didn’t get involved to be a part of Cena’s team, to bask in the glory of a hero, or to shamelessly pander to a group of parasites. He got involved because of his personal problems with Nexus and Barrett, a man he molded from the moment he first came into the company. Jericho knows Barrett and Nexus, therefore he’s more qualified, and this is Jericho’s team. Cena says fine, and the team is sold to Jericho, at a bargain price. Call them whatever he wants. He doesn’t care; he just wants to beat Nexus. Jericho tells Cena not to patronize him. He will be honest and clear: the team lives or dies by Jericho. Cena knocks the mic out of Jericho’s hand, and Jericho looks ready to either run or smack a Sunkist bitch.

Cena says it ain’t about Jericho. It’s not about him. It’s about the damn business. Nexus has taken over the company. Last week, they got Jericho, they got Cena, whatever they want. Jericho loves the business, and that’s why they’re doing it. Does Jericho understand what Cena is saying to him right now? They have to co-exist. Yes, he knows Barrett better than anyone. Jericho is essential to the team. Jericho picks up the mic again and tells Cena never to knock the mic out of his hand again. Second of all, Jericho knows how essential he is. More than that, he sees the big picture. Nexus isn’t the only threat to the company. The other threat is John Cena. Because Cena is more like Nexus than he thinks. He walks around, interrupting whoever he wants, doing what he wants to do. The only difference is he does it with the support of the WWE Universe. Jericho is warning Cena: As soon as Nexus is gone, he’s going to take the next logical step, and turn his sights on Cena. He’ll either do it with his team’s help, or he’ll do it himself. Cena says he’s standing right there, take your best shot.

You’ve got mail!

Cena threw his hat. “Cena, Jericho. Your match against the Nexus at SummerSlam will now be an Elimination Match. The team that eliminates all the members of the opposing team first will be victorious. And in a preview of SummerSlam, the Nexus will face seven RAW superstars in an elimination match tonight. Your match at SummerSlam is all about teamwork. Tonight, let’s see how you, John, and you, Chris, function as a team against opponents of my choosing. And if you’re not down with that, I’ve got two words for you.”

@Niki_Sushi The LOOK on @IAmJericho’s face is ‘I’m being cheered for. I do not approve.’ #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Good grief folks, hold onto your socks. HBK is not in the house tonight. Sigh… #WWE #BWF

@RAWMysteryGM I don’t trust Cole to get me food, it’ll probably be moldy. He loves the Vintage thing RT @Tommyspud: @RAWMysteryGM ‘Get me a pizza’

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus makes his way to the ring, and Jerry says he is what the future of the WWE is all about. He sits down next to Jerry Lawler.

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso with Jimmy Uso and Tamina

Last week, Orton won a triple threat match between Jericho, himself, and Edge to get the title of Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam.

Looks like the Usos are starting to really get up here if they get to fight Randy. Anyway, I’m kind of interested in this match. The two lock up, and Uso gets a hit to the face that takes him down. Orton keeps the momentum, punching Uso in the side of the head before getting Uso under the bottom rope, and dropping him up into it. Orton then pulls Uso to the apron by his hair. Uso pulls Orton’s head down on the rope, however, and then manages to keep Orton down for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. He gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton stands up and powers out. The two exchange blows before Orton gets the advantage with a couple of clotheslines, and then a scoop slam. Jimmy Uso tries to help, but Orton gets him. Orton then DDTs Jey off of the second rope, and Randy gets riled up, slamming on the mat, and hitting the RKO. He goes for the cover, and secures a victory.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall!

Orton paid too much attention to Sheamus, and Jimmy Uso attacked him. Orton begins to attack back, and Sheamus sneaks in. Orton ducks an attempted kick to the face from Sheamus, and then RKO’s Sheamus.

AWESOME!

Miz runs out there with a referee behind him, and cashes in the Money in the Bank contract.

The Miz vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship

However, before the match can even begin, Randy RKOs The Miz, and it seriously looks like Randy just mouthed ‘mother FUCKER’.

Edge is backstage, talking, saying he can’t wait for SummerSlam. However, he wishes Ted was on his team instead of Khali. Cena comes to Edge and says he has an unstoppable unit, but Khali? Khali’s clumsy, uncoordinated, and not that bright. Maryse says that they don’t understand him, but Edge doesn’t look like he understood her. Ted says neither Khali nor Morrison deserve to be there. Edge says if he has to, he’ll force Cena’s hand and take Khali out himself. As he walks away, he passes Ranjin Singh.

@TKeep123 …and this could go on for a year! :} RT @markjamesbrand: Poor Miz. Thwarted again.

@Niki_Sushi ‘WWE’ is #9 trending in Chicago! #BWF #RAWSheamus and Miz are still in the ring, yelling at one another.

You’ve got mail!

“I found the team that will challenge Chris Jericho and John Cena tonight. The United States Champion The Miz, and the WWE Champion Sheamus.”

I just noticed, the briefcase is dented. Probably from beating Sheamus in the head with it.

Backstage, Edge is on the phone and Khali starts yelling at him. Ranjin says he heard earlier what Edge said, and he told Khali. Edge claims he never said that, and that he has nothing but the utmost respect for Khali. Khali grumbles something, or spits it, and it apparently translated to Edge is a nincompoop, and challenges him to a match right now. Khali manages to say: YOU! ME! NOW!, which is just plan dirty. Edge says fine. But if Edge wins, Khali is off the team.

@HitTheRopes “I received another manager from the general email.” — Michael Cole. LOL #WWE

@RAWMysteryGM Cole screwed up my E-mail, I will replace him with Byron Saxton starting next week #WWE

@Niki_Sushi Well, Edge is gonna get a Great Fist up his ass and a pinky and index through his eyeballs. #BWF #RAW

The Great Khali vs. Edge

Khali comes out, and everyone’s dancing, and I’m so sick of that dance it’s not even funny. Lawler is gone because he’s going to be part of the seven-on-seven tag team elimination match later tonight. I hope Striker comes back on commentary.

Khali starts towards Edge, but Edge moves. Edge is then thrown into a turnbuckle, and Khali licks his han- okay, not really. He smacks Edge in the chest, and then manhandles him a bunch, throwing him into the opposite turn buckle. Edge gets up and manages to punch Khali a couple times, and then Khali clotheslines him, trying a leg drop and missing as Edge rolls away. Nexus makes their way out to the ring, and Edge climbs out of the ring, and into the crowd. Nexus surrounds the ring. Khali’s glaring at Nexus, and they make their way into the ring. They move away, creating an opening for him by the ramp. Khali cautiously gets out of the ring, and he backs up the ramp.

Later tonight, it’s John Cena and Chris Jericho against United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus. However, before that, it’s the seven-on-seven elimination match. I saw Yoshi Tatsu, the Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, and Jerry Lawler.

@BrdWrstlngFn Why did the GM choose to torment us by having Michael Cole on commentary by himself?

@HitTheRopes Dammit Edge, if you allowed the Nexus to beat you up, you would have won by DQ and Khali would have been off the team. #wwe

Seven-on-Seven Tag Team Elimination Match
Team RAW vs Team Nexus
Yoshi Tatsu, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Goldust, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Mark Henry, and Evan Bourne vs. Darren Young, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, Skip Sheffield, and David Otunga

Tarver and Yoshi start out, and Tarver gets the upper hand, throwing Yoshi into the turnbuckle. Tatsu runs at him, but Tarver scoop slams him, and eliminates him.

Yoshi Tatsu Eliminated by Michael Tarver.

Evan Bourne takes over against Tarver, and Tarver keeps an advantage, tagging in Justin Gabriel. Tarver was holding Bourne back, but Bourne used it to his advantage. He then tagged in Lawler. Lawler goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out at two. Barrett pulls Gabriel out, and they begin to work out a plan.

@seraphalexiel Why did Tyson send Nattie to the back? She can handle the Nexus. And I don’t like seeing Jerry in the ring

@Niki_Sushi ‘VINTAGE LAWLER!’ You know what’ll be vintage? Your life when I figure out how to morph through TVs, Cole. Wait for it. #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Love Jerry Lawler’s “Wonder Woman” outfit! He’s still fabulous!! #WWE #BWF

@ IAmJHPunk Dammit Bourne vs Gabriel would have been great! #wwe #raw #bwf

Jerry Lawler was eliminated during the break by Heath Slater, which is sad, but oh well. Tyson Kidd is in the ring now, and Heath Slater is taking a beating. The ref gets Tyson off Heath, and then tags in David Hart Smith. Smith kept him up in the air for a while before finally dropping him in a suplex, and then went for the cover, but Slater kicked out at two. Smith keeps the advantage, getting Slater down in the corner before Irish Whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. Slater gets up on the top rope, and Smith gets distracted by Gabriel. Slater hits Smith from behind, and eliminates him.

David Hart Smith eliminated by Heath Slater.

Goldust is in now, and Slater get s quick advantage, but Goldust hits a shoulder block before slapping Slater around. Slater tags in Otunga. Goldust gets momentum, but Young holds his ankle and lets Otunga get an opportunity.

Goldust eliminated by David Otunga.

Mark Henry comes in and lifts Otunga before dropping him. Henry then throws Otunga into the turnbuckle, and Slater is tagged in. Slater is thrown around by Henry, who then hurls him across the ring again. Slater then tags in Young, who is clotheslined as soon as he comes in. Henry then hits a boot that actually hurts both me and @Niki_Sushi. Sheffield comes in and the two get in a yelling match for a minute. Sheffield then hits some blows on Henry, before going for his clothesline. Henry then drops him with a suplex, I think, and then again. He then throws Gabriel into the ring, before running right into him in the turn buckle. Turns out Henry forgot about Sheffield, who hits him with his spear-like clothesline.

Mark Henry eliminated by Skip Sheffield.

Only Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne are left. Sheffield ran at them, and they both kicked him before Kidd went in. Kidd then was clotheslined in mid air. Sheffield tags in Young, who hits Kidd.

Tyson Kidd eliminated by Darren Young.

Wade Barrett comes in and runs at Evan. Evan then attacks everyone he can, but Wade gets him and drops him. Wade goes for the cover, and it’s over.

Team Nexus wins, seven to nothing.

Evan’s still lying in the ring, and they get him up, as usual, and then run him right into Sheffield’s Spear-Clothesline. Otunga then lifts Evan, and then drops him. As Evan lies there, Justin gets up on the top rope, hitting the 450 Splash.

Barrett gets the mic, and says that what they just saw was an act of total domination. The Nexus has always been 100% behind the common purpose. Cena, or Jericho’s team is already showing cracks. The cracks are due to their individual egos and agendas. Barrett assures us that come SummerSlam, the cracks are going to destroy the team. Sheffield says that he has a team of individuals who have no singular focus. No member of Cena’s team is willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the group, like Nexus will do and has done. What Cena’s looking at is the Nexus. And they are unbreakable. Tarver takes the mic and says that SummerSlam will be no different than tonight. They will eliminate everyone until there’s only one person left, and Tarver hopes it’s Cena. They’ll treat him like a piece of meat, until they’ve all had their fill. They’ll pounce, and when they do, they’ll put him out of his misery. And then it’ll be over, mercifully for Cena, in more ways than one.

Miz is sitting backstage, massaging his forehead from the RKO, and then Sheamus comes up. Sheamus starts hating on Miz, and says that Miz is dreaming if he thinks that he can beat Sheamus. Miz just stares at him. Sheamus asks if Miz thinks he can, just name the time and place. Miz says how about tonight, immediately after they face Cena and Jericho. After Miz wins that match, and throws Sheamus back in the ring. After Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and Jericho puts him in the Walls of Jericho, and he’s screaming in pain… Miz has a really good Irish accent, btw, and then Miz cashes in on Sheamus. Sheamus says if Miz keeps pushing him, he’ll make him regret it, and knocks the briefcase across the room. Miz looks around and then scoffs.

@kickoutblog When Michael Tarver speaks, you better listen, but don’t look directly into his eyes or else he’ll consume your soul.

@HitTheRopes A clothesline took out the “World’s Strongest Man”? Really? #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Little Known Fact: Mark Henry and Skip Sheffield have a rap battle every night over drinks.

@TKeep123 Team Steroid vs. Team Jobber ….. outcome as expected. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@BrdWrstlngFn Come on WWE, pull the trigger – you know you want The Miz as the WWE Champion!

@kellylynndobson To Barrett Bourne must have weighed nothing after botching kool aid last week. #bwf

Brie Bella with Nikki Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox

Dear God… It’s the Bellas. Jerry is, however, finally back, so we don’t just have to listen to Cole. The Bellas are dressed alike, so I smell a Switcheroo. Jillian came out to stop the twins from doing said Switcheroo, and Nikki nearly pinned Alicia, but Alicia came back and hit her with her finisher, whatever it’s called.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins via pinfall!

Someone made the mistake of letting Jillian pick up a mic. Jillian says that she has a gift for Alicia, and she’s gonna sing. She’s singing a fucked up version of We Are the Champions by Queen, but Alicia hits her with her finisher too, and another stupid segment is ended.

@dasharpshooters Whores are forever, and so are the Bella Twins. #wwe #raw #bwf

@IAmJHPunk How does Jillian still have a job?! #wwe #raw #bwf

R-Truth is out, screaming his constant question, to be on commentary. Anyway.

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. John Morrison

DiBiase and Morrison lock up, as Cole questions Truths’ motives. Maryse grabbed Morrison, and allowed DiBiase to get a chance to beat him up a little. DiBiase goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. I don’t really care what Truth says, stop focusing on him. DiBiase went for another cover, but Morrison kicked out. DiBiase gets Morrison in a headlock, but Morrison fights out, only to get beat up a bit. Morrison fights back, and Morrison hits DiBiase with his spinny-kick thing, and DiBiase kicks at Morrison. Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to the corner, but Maryse gets on the apron and distracts Morrison. DiBiase puts his feet on the rope to try to cover Morrison, but Truth shoves his feet off. DiBiase attacks Truth, and then Morrison tries to take advantage, only to kick Morrison in the face. DiBiase manages to pin Morrison for the win.

Ted DiBiase wins via pinfall!

Truth and Morrison start arguing in the ring, about Truth’s interference, and Morrison leaves, obviously upset, further creating cracks in Team Cena or Team Jericho. Cena’s watching this, worried about how this is going to affect the team. Truth admits that it was his bad, but Morrison doesn’t look impressed.

@KeepItFiveStar His name is NOT “Jo Mo Fo Sho” it’s John Morrison. Don’t bring him down to your level.

@BrdWrstlngFn Can we get Alicia Fox out here to kick R-Truth too?

@dasharpshooters Morrison turning heel? Hope so. #wwe raw #bwf

@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase’s purple tights are made from actual skin from Grimace. It’s amazing what money can buy.

“Rip It Up” by Jet is the official SummerSlam theme song!

Lawler has a Cena Slurpee cup with a Triple H straw…

Josh Matthews is backstage with Randy Orton now! He says that earlier, Randy prevented Miz from cashing in. Orton says that before he RKO’d Miz, he RKO’d Sheamus. T he message he sent tonight was clear: the question of who will be champion walking into SummerSlam doesn’t matter, because the question of who’s leaving as champion will be answered with an RKO.

AWESOME!

United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus vs John Cena and Chris Jericho

@RAWMysteryGM Spoiler Alert: Miz opens next week’s RAW with the World Heavyweight championship explaining why he cashed in on Kane on Smackdown #WWE

@kickoutblog Y2J chant? Get out of 1999 you parasitic tapeworms!

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus comes out, and there’s already tension between Miz and Sheamus, and everyone knows Jericho and Cena were going to have tension…

Both teams are arguing over who’s going to start the match. I saw Miz go, “Okay, you start it? You start it?” and then run to attack Cena. Cena hits a bulldog by the time I look up, and Miz rolls out of the ring. Miz then tags in Sheamus, who blends in with the ring ropes. They lock up, and Sheamus gets the advantage, keeping Cena in a headlock, but Cena powers out and puts Sheamus in a headlock. Cena hits the shoulder block, and then shoves Sheamus in the corner. Cena holds his hand out and Jericho tags in, cornering Sheamus, before Sheamus turns it around on Jericho. A Y2J chant is starting up, and it makes me happy. Jericho hits a missile dropkick on Sheamus before standing on both Sheamus and the ropes. Jericho gets a kick in the stomach before some moves are exchanged and Sheamus gets flipped out of the ring. Jericho clears the ring, and then Miz mocks Sheamus outside the ring.

We come back to Cena and Sheamus, just in time for Cena to get a huge clothesline. Sheamus tags in Miz, but Cena gets the advantage and goes for a cover, only for Miz to kick out. Jericho comes in off the tag and knees Miz right in the nose. Jericho bounces around and goes for a cover, only to try for the Walls of Jericho. Sheamus goes to attack Jericho, but Jericho ducks and finally manages to hit the Lionsault on Sheamus, but Miz takes advantage. Miz gets Chris up and back into his corner, kicking him before Sheamus tags himself in. Sheamus then attacks Chris in the same way, pandering more to Miz than the crowd, as the Miz chokes Chris on the apron as Sheamus distracts the ref. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out. Sheamus gets Jericho in a headlock after that, and Jericho gets to his feet and powers out. Sheamus drops Jericho onto his knee and then goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Jericho back to his feet, and then drops him again. Sheamus tags Miz in, and Miz drops his boot on Jericho’s back before hitting him with some forearms. Miz then keeps Jericho on the rope, and slams his throat into it. Miz goes for a cover, but Jericho grabs the rope. Miz then gets a kick to the chin, and then a missile dropkick from the top rope. Cena is yelling at Jericho to tag him, and Miz rolls over to tag in Sheamus. Sheamus then gets Jericho in a headlock, and Cena seems to be trying to walk Jericho through it on the apron. Jericho manages to get up and power out of the headlock and Miz tags his way in. Miz then bounces Jericho’s head off the turnbuckle, and beats him in the corner. The ref forces Miz off, and then Miz yells at him before attempting his swinging corner clothesline, only for Jericho to win.

Miz is slowly rolling to Sheamus, as Jericho crawls to Cena, and it’s now Cena and Sheamus. Cena takes Sheamus down with some shoulder blocks. Cena then sets up and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Miz distracts the ref, and Chris is in the ring too. Chris hits the Code Breaker on Cena, Miz tags in himself, and goes for the cover on Cena.

The United States Champion The Miz and the WWE Champion Sheamus win via pinfall.

Miz already starts walking out of the ring and away from them. Jericho is watching Cena, before climbing back in the ring. Jericho then puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho. Cena flips it and puts Jericho into the STF. Jericho taps, but Khali comes in, trying to talk some sense into them. Edge then hits a Spear on Khali. Cena asks what the hell Edge is doing only for Morrison and Truth to come in. Team Cena/Jericho/whatever is all arguing in the ring. Khali then hits Morrison and Edge, and then everyone tries to tell Khali to stop. Jericho starts screaming at all of them too, telling everyone to stay down.

Looks like the tension on Team Cena/Jericho/YankeeDoodleDandy is going to make everyone a little crazy. How will Nexus take advantage of this? Will Miz ever cash in the Money in the Bank contract, or is he just going to hold onto it forever until the year mark and then cash it in? Later, BWF tweeters.

Random Randomness

July 25, 2010 10:39 am 1 Comment

You know what, it’s hard to be creative in the morning when you try to write first thing after you crawl out of bed and that’s what I’m trying to do right now, but don’t worry folks, a couple chair shots to the head and I’ll be fine. So let’s get this shoe on the road:

(more…)

RAW 7.19.10

July 19, 2010 11:16 pm 1 Comment

Hot on the heels of Money in the Bank, the main event tonight is a Triple Threat match between Edge, Randy Orton, and Chris Jericho! But will RAW’s Mr. Money in the Bank, The United States Champion, The Miz decide that Sheamus’ WWE Championship is too much for him to ignore? And what about John Cena? How is he going to react after Nexus interfered in his match last night? All these questions will – hopefully – be answered tonight on Monday! Night! RAW! Warning, also, a lot of block paragraphs tonight. Sorry.

@Niki_Sushi So… did anyone see Sheamus last night after the match? No? Me neither. White men can’t jump, but Irish men and RUUUUUUUUUUN. #BWF

Wade is going to fight Mark Henry alone tonight, and Nexus is banned from ringside.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge for a chance to face WWE Champion Sheamus at SummerSlam

Randy started out with a good advantage, hammering both Edge and Jericho away, but then Jericho gets Randy in the corner and hammers away on him, only for Edge to join, and then stand back and watch. Randy fights back into control, however, getting Edge out of the ring before throwing Chris into the turnbuckle. Edge shows his stealthy side by dropping off the apron and slamming Randy’s head into the top rope. Chris beats on Randy for a little bit, then starts yelling at Edge to do the same. Jericho holds Orton while letting Edge hit him, then the two take turns beating on Orton. They both Irish Whip him and then go to double back drop him, but Orton countered with a double DDT. Jericho rolled out of the ring, and Randy went for a cover on Edge. Edge kicked out at two. Afterward, Orton purposefully stomps on Edge and wears him down. Randy goes to hit the RKO on Edge, but Edge counters and Jericho hits the Codebreaker. Jericho went for a cover, but Edge broke it apart. Edge and Jericho roll out to the outside, and we go to commercial as Edge bounces Jericho’s head off the announce table.

@KiraSwaggaholic This should be the goddamn MAIN EVENT wtf

We come back to Edge and Jericho still outside the ring, and I don’t actually see Randy. Nevermind, Randy’s inside the ring, and he takes out Chris, throwing him out of the ring and into Edge. Jericho goes to get back in, but Randy goes to pull him through. Edge gets up, but manages to get out as Orton DDT’s Jericho from the rope. Randy goes for a cover, but Edge breaks it and throws Randy out. Edge rushes into the ring to cover Jericho, but Chris kicks out at two. Edge goes back to Randy, throwing him back into the ring and going for a cover. Orton kicks out at two. Edge hits Randy and panders, in Jericho’s words, to the crowd, before proceeding to attack Randy’s face. He goes to run off the ropes, but Jericho pulls him out, and bounces his head off the announce table before attacking Randy. Jericho goes for a pin, using the ropes for leverage, but Randy kicks out at two. Jericho gets Randy in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Randy manages to stand and then powers out, gaining momentum with some clotheslines. A scoop slam into a cover on Jericho, but he kicks out at two. Jericho rolls out the apron, but Randy follows. He goes to set Jericho up for a DDT again, but Edge comes in. Randy gains momentum with a back breaker, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Randy gets Edge up and kicks him out of the ring. Randy sets Jericho up for the DDT off the ropes again, but Jericho counters and sets up the Walls of Jericho, locking them in. Randy pulls to the ropes, only for Jericho to pull him back to the center of the ring. Edge comes in and DDTs Jericho. Edge goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out. Edge goes into the corner, setting up the Spear. Jericho turns, but launches at Edge before he can Spear him, and sets him up into the Walls of Jericho. Edge makes it to the ropes, forcing Jericho to break the hold. Jericho goes to hit it again, but Edge counters into a roll up and Jericho kicks out at two. Orton tries to hit the RKO, but Edge counters and goes for the cover, for Randy to kick out at two. Edge goes to the opposite corner from before, and sets up the Spear. Edge runs for the Spear, but Jericho attacks. Jericho rolls Edge up, Edge kicks out. Edge rolls Randy up, Randy kicks out. Then, all three of them clothesline each other.

Jericho sends Edge out of the ring, and then Randy goes for the RKO, Jericho counters. Jericho goes for Lionsault, Randy moves out of the way. Randy begins pounding on the mat, and then hits the RKO on Jericho, then on Edge. He pins Edge for the victory.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall!

Edge has stayed in the ring the entire commercial break, and is demanding that Chris comes back out, saying that ‘this has gone on between us for too long.’ Chris does come back out, asking what Edge’s problem is. Edge asks how many a lot and I missed about three of them. He says that it has to end right here, right now, tonight. Chris grabs a mic, after demanding it. For the first time in eleven years, they agree on something: It’s going to end tonight. Chris is the reason that Nexus has achieved what they have. If Chris just snaps his fingers, Nexus would do whatever he wanted them to. He could call Nexus out here and take years off not only his career, but his life. Edge doesn’t think that Nexus agrees, and they’d take Edge up on his offer first. Looks like Nexus is going to answer, because they’re coming out now.

Wade says they’re both veterans and Nexus would be lucky to call either of them an ally. They’ve had successful, innovative, Hall of Fame careers. But, Jericho was right. Nexus wouldn’t take years off his career, they’d end it. Nexus then attacks Edge, and Jericho’s bouncing around pretty excited. Edge is then Speared by Sheffield. Chris then puts Edge in the Walls of Jericho, with Nexus still surrounding them. Chris seems to realize where he is, because he lets Edge out, staring at Nexus.

Wade says that Edge was also right. They would really like to shut up the guy who’s claiming to be behind Nexus’ success. They surround him, and Chris attacks Barrett, clinging to him as Nexus tries to pull him off. They finally get him off and start wailing away on him. Barrett claims that Jericho didn’t teach him anything. Nexus then lifts Jericho, and Otunga takes him down.

@kickoutblog Hey, at least @IAmJericho went down swinging, just like the best in the world should!

Nexus is walking backstage, and they go into the Nexus locker room. Wade is stopped by Josh Matthews, who says that there is no question he has the most powerful group in the WWE. I missed the rest of this part because I was talking to my grandmother. Sorry.

Sheamus comes up to Barrett and says he has a proposal. Wade tells him to step into his office, and Sheamus says he’d rather wait out there. Pansy ass.

John is waiting in the locker room area, and is doing an interview with Michael Cole from ringside. Cena says he didn’t shake Barrett’s hand out of foolish pride and because he thought he could stop Barrett. No one could stop Barrett. Edge and Jericho were decimated, Nexus attacked last night, and Cena can see the writing on the wall. What Cena’s saying is that tonight, he’d like to meet Wade Barrett and Nexus in the ring, because he’s got something to say. King asks why, and Cena says that they’ve cost him everything. They say that you’re either Nexus, or against us. Right now, Cena’s if you can’t beat ‘em… and he walks away.

Eve Torres vs. Maryse with Ted DiBiase

Ted returns the favor tonight and accompanies Maryse to the ring. Last night, Maryse actually got in the ring and climbed the ladder. John Morrison pulled her down and put her out of the ring, by the way. Maryse takes off a ring or something and hands it to the ref. Hoshit, Ted is on commentary. Maryse trash talks Eve for a while, but Eve shoves her away. Maryse hits her back with a good slap, and then kicks her into the ropes. Ted says Maryse isn’t a gold digger. Maryse is dominating this match, flinging Eve around however she wants to. However, Eve fights back, getting Maryse down, and going for a pinfall. However, Maryse gets her foot on the rope. The ref never seems to see it. However, and Ted starts yelling at the ref. Eve rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp.

Eve Torres wins via pinfall!

Morrison comes down and attacks Ted, hitting Starship Pain on DiBiase. Sheamus is making his way to… somewhere. I think it’s the ring.

@TKeep123 I’ll admit I enjoy seeing Maryse laying on her back, but…that match could have lasted a few more minutes. Damn, no French kiss! #WWE #RAW

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus comes down to the ring and everyone wonders what it is that he could possibly have to say about or to Nexus?

Sheamus says to let the records show: He’s beaten Cena in tables, fatal four way, and a steel cage match. He beat Cena for the first time and it was called a fluke. A second time? Luck. Now that it’s the third time, and the word is dominance. What now for Cena? He’s in Sheamus’ past. He gets the back of the line and he won’t get another title shot against Sheamus anytime soon. He should have done what Sheamus did earlier tonight. He went and found Barrett, walked up to him, and said he wanted, no, demanded a truce. He explained to Barrett that one year ago, no one had ever heard of Sheamus or Nexus. But now, they’re both the two most powerful entities in the entire WWE. He explained that they don’t have to like each other, they’ll stay out of each other’s business. Barrett agreed, and as of tonight, the truce is in effect. It’s good news for Sheamus, but bad for Orton. The only way Orton can beat Sheamus is Nexus’ interference, but that’s gone now, so Orton doesn’t stand a chance. He’ll suffer the same fate as Cena. He can sit back and watch as Sheamus becomes the longest reigning champion of all time.

AWESOME!

Miz comes down with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Miz congratulates Sheamus on getting rid of the Nexus problem. Now, Sheamus has a bigger problem: A Miz problem. Sheamus doesn’t control the fate of the WWE Championship, Miz does, because he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. He can cash it in anytime he wants for a WWE Championship match. Anytime Sheamus is in that ring, Miz will be watching him. Say Sheamus beats Orton at SummerSlam, but as Sheamus gets his hand raised, Sheamus is hit with an RKO, and Miz will be there. What if Sheamus is interviewed backstage, and Miz beats him and drags him out to the ring, and beats him? Regardless of who’s champion, Miz can wait for the moment that his entire career has been leading to, to Main Event Wrestlemania! Or maybe Miz forgets about all that and cashes it in tonight. Either way, Sheamus can call Miz his celebrity stalker, because every breath he takes, every move he makes, Miz will be watching him, because he’s the Miz, and he’s awesome! Sheamus interrupts, saying he’s the WWE Champion, and Miz is nothing.

You’ve got Mail!

GM: Should The Miz want to cash in the Money in the Bank contract tonight, take a seat at ringside. Sheamus will be in action right now against this man…

You are cleared for takeoff…

WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

Evan gets early momentum, sending Sheamus right out of the damn ring. And then, commercial.

@Niki_Sushi ‘Were there any smilie-faces at the end of that e-mail?’ The answer is yes. But Cole’s too stupid to say ‘smiley-face-smiley-face’. #BWF

We come back to Sheamus rolling back out of the ring. Sheamus shoves Evan into the apron, and they both climb back into the ring. Evan gets back with some sharp kicks, and Sheamus Irish Whips Evan, only for Evan to kick him in the face. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus sends Evan into the turnbuckle, and then keeps him in the corner with some kicks and knees. Sheamus wraps Evan around the turnbuckle and pulls on him from the outside, releasing at four. Sheamus climbs back into the ring, keeping Evan down. Sheamus hammers Evan with some forearms before putting him into some weird ass submission move. Evan fights to his feet and then tries to fight back, only to get planted on the mat. Sheamus goes for the cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus pulls Evan up by his hair and shoves him right back down before going back to work on the shoulder of Evan. Evan fights out of it, and hits Sheamus with some hard kicks. Sheamus sends him into the corner and literally slaps him silly, only for Evan to kick the hell out of his head. Sheamus misses a clothesline, and Evan puts his foot in Sheamus’ jaw. Evan goes for a cover on Sheamus, but Sheamus kicks out at two. Sheamus is down, and Evan goes to the top rope. Miz is on the edge of his seat, ready, but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Evan jumps out to the outside, landing right on Sheamus. The ref starts his count. Sheamus gets back in, and Evan’s still being counted on. He gets back up to the apron, and is kicked coming in. Sheamus hits the big boot, and covers Evan for the win.

WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall!

Miz applauds, almost sarcastically, at Sheamus’ victory. Miz then hits Sheamus right in the ribs with the briefcase, followed by a shot to the back. He seems to be considering cashing in, and gets Sheamus up, attempting to go for the Skull Crushing Finale, and hits it, planning Sheamus’ face on the briefcase. Miz cashes it in.

Truth runs out, and Miz climbs out, taking his briefcase back. Truth attacks Miz, as Miz tries to leave. Miz takes the briefcase and leaves. Since the bell never rang, it’s not an official match up, thus he never cashed it in, officially.

@BrdWrstlngFn I can only imagine the RAW review if @MikeTheMiz wins the title right here…

–Hey! Don’t mock me!! I’m behaving!! I usually behave!! I keep it… mostly… unbiased… sometimes.

@Niki_Sushi To RAW fans, you are extremely lucky Miz didn’t win the title tonight. There would have been no review, just a Mizfit ranting on Miz. #BWF

–Hey! Nu-uh!!! I… I would have made it a very fair RAW review. DAMN YOU BOTH! … J/K. I love you both.

Miz is backstage, and Josh says that he has to be furious because R-Truth ruined it for him. Miz says that Truth just cost him the WWE Championship. He had Sheamus unconscious. Make no mistake, there will be other opportunities. He has an entire year. So whether it’s tomorrow night, or July 17^th, 2011, he will take his rightful place as WWE Champion. Because he’s the Miz, and he’s AWESOME… and pissed.

Sheamus is walking backstage with an icepack over his head, and stops at the Divas, The Bellas, and Gail, who are laughing, demanding to know if they think it’s funny. He continues on, but Randy stops him. He says that it’s too bad what just happened. Having the WWE Championship makes Sheamus a target, and come SummerSlam, whether it’s Sheamus, Miz, or whoever, they will be wearing a giant bull’s eye. Randy won’t hit that bull’s eye with an arrow, spear, or bullet. He’s going to hit the bull’s eye with an RKO.

What’s Cena calling Nexus to the ring for?! We’ll find out later tonight.

@IAmJHPunk Fact: Bullets, spears, and arrows hurt more than RKOs. #wwe #raw #bwf

John Morrison is on the cover of Muscle & Fitness!!

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder

Honestly, I thought that Santino would be done by now… Seems they’re funny enough to keep around. Sucks that Zack is here instead of… wherever he used to be… Nevermind, he’s fine here. Anyway, Santino and Ryder start off, and I miss Ryder’s one-legged trunks. Santino’s pulling some Diva-esque moves here, and Ryder seems confused. Santino tags in Kozlov, and Ryder tags in Regal. Kozlov gets the advantage over Regal and tags in Santino, who’s almost immediately beaten up by Regal. Regal covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Regal tags in Ryder, who does something and then covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Ryder gets Santino in a headlock. Ryder keeps the advantage, going for something off the turnbuckle, but Santino moved. Santino kicks Ryder away from him and tags in Kozlov, who throws Ryder around the ring like he’s nothing. Kozlov goes for a cover, but Regal comes in, and Kozlov is up. Regal rolls out, Kozlov plants Ryder, and Kozlov tags in Santino, who does something, and then goes for the cover, and wins.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall!

Santino celebrates, and Kozlov actually manages to smile, though he doesn’t seem quite as excited as Santino. Nexus is all together in the back, talking before the Barrett v Henry match up. Remember, Nexus can’t be ringside.

Wade Barrett vs. Mark Henry

I’m actually wondering what kind of a match this is gonna be… I think Mark Henry just got lucky for Money in the Bank, to be honest, but we’ll see… Hey!!! Maybe Mark will actually split Wade’s weave! … Oh, right… white Englishman. No weave… my bad.

Henry goes for Wade, but Wade climbs out of the ring. He climbs back in, and then goes to attack, Mark, but Mark head butts him right down, and Wade rolls out. The ref starts the count, and Wade climbs back in. They lock up again, and Wade hits Mark with a knee to the gut. A few good hits seem to be pissing Mark off. Each hit looks like it’s making Mark madder, until Mark just punches Wade in the head, and bounces his head off the turnbuckle. Wade’s down after a big clothesline by Mark Henry. Henry goes for a cover, but Barrett kicks out. Henry gets Barrett up and then head butts him. Wade gets up, head butts him back, and takes the lead. He focuses his attack on Henry’s knee, but is taken down with a scoop slam. Henry goes for the cover, but Barrett kicks out at two. Barrett is dragged over to the corner, and Henry gets up, but is distracted as Nexus comes down on the stage. They’re not ringside, so it doesn’t count. Barrett manages to lift Henry, but literally falls, selling it pretty well, for what it was, and covers Henry for the win.

Wade Barrett wins via pinfall!

After the match, Wade Barrett shoves Henry out of the ring. Lifting him seems to have done its damage to his back, because Barrett’s holding it. Barrett gets a mic, and calls out Cena.

@kickoutblog Wade Barret’s gonna regret that when he shits his spine out later tonight.

Nexus is still in the ring, and I swear it looks like Slater has girl legs, and Young’s hair is actually down, instead of straight the hell up. Not bad, actually.

Tarver says that they already made one truce tonight, and they give them his word that they will at least hear him out… If he acknowledges that the Nexus run this show. If he understands that if he continues with this resistance, then they will make his life miserable for the rest of John’s “little” career. This furthers @ThinkSoJoe’s theory of Daniel Bryan running RAW, but whatever. If Cena apologizes for attacking Tarver and Young, then they may consider ending it. But it’s all on Cena.

BRRRRRRRRRRRR YABBA DABBA DOO!!

Nexus is lined up, all nice and neat, and Cena doesn’t even get in the ring yet. He thanks them for meeting him out there. He gets in the ring and says that since Nexus arrived, he’s had two WWE Championship matches. The first, they cost him the Championship, and the second they prevented him from winning it back. Tonight, Sheamus made a truce with them, something he should have done a long time ago. He apologizes, and asks them for a truce as well. Barrett says no. He’s not interested in a truce, or an olive branch. He’s not looking for peace. He wants Cena to join Nexus. Think about it, everything he’s achieved on his own, he can achieve ten times that by joining Nexus. Face facts: Nexus is the present and the future of the WWE, and together they’re gonna be unstoppable. To be perfectly honest, this isn’t really much of a choice. He’s either Nexus, or ‘against us’. Does John wanna make history together by joining?

Cena says he can’t do it. Wade says that’s unfortunate, and it leaves Nexus with a different proposition. Either Cena can leave the ring with his tail between his legs and show the world what a coward he really is, or he can stand in the ring and Nexus will give him the most vicious beating Nexus has ever administered. Cena climbs out of the ring and walks up the ramp. He stops at the stage and says he wants to say one more thing, something he’s said time and time again. Whether he does it himself, or has help, he will take each and every one of them down. He’s walking back toward the ring. Tonight’s little peace offering was a test. They sealed their fate, because Cena has help. Ever since Nexus came and started beating people up, Cena’s been forming a team. A team that will take down Nexus at SummerSlam. They said they wanted him to join the Nexus, to make history. Tonight, Cena wants them to meet his team and realize that at SummerSlam, Nexus is history.

Cena’s Team: Edge. John Morrison. R-Truth. Khali. Chris Jericho. Bret Hart.

Cena’s Army, as Cole called them, stormed the ring, and Nexus ran.

My thoughts: Well, the Cena vs. Nexus thing is going to be interesting at SummerSlam. I like Cena, Edge, Morrison, Truth, and Jericho, but Khali? I don’t remember Khali being intimidating lately, at all. And as for Bret Hart… it could be really interesting, but it could be a complete screw up at the same time. Guess we’ll just have t see how it plays off.

Money In The Bank Roundtable

July 17, 2010 10:46 am 7 Comments

Hello all and welcome to the Money In the Bank Roundtable, I am you host JT and tonight I am joined by BWF writer G as well as RYTMAN. Welcome guys I hope we have a good discussion for this Sunday’s pay per view. So without further ado, let’s get this show on the road: (more…)

RAW Review 7.12.10

July 12, 2010 11:18 pm Leave a Comment

Hello, everyone!! Tonight’s RAW Review is going to be written similar to last week’s, mainly because it’s easier for me. I should be able to bounce back next Monday. Anywho, tonight, Randy faces Edge and John Cena goes one on seven against the Nexus!! What’ll happen!?

We kick off RAW with a flashback of last week, where John refused to shake Wade Barrett’s hand, and how the RAW GM made the matchup for tonight. You all remember that, right? No? Ah, well… Oh yeah! I almost forgot RAW had a theme. We haven’t seen it in a while. Oh, and the mom from The Brady Bunch is the guest host… Whoever she is… I already forgot her name. Oh!! It’s a six-on-one handicapped match!! Thanks to John kicking Darren Young’s ass last week, he can’t compete. Shame.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SCOOBY DOO!

Cena starts by thanking the WWE Universe, then thanks the WWE Superstars who helped him last week. It was missing a white flash, white lightning, a white kid with red hair. Sheamus. Eventually, Sheamus will have to remember that they’re all in this together, but Sheamus will have to realize that Sheamus is not going to be the WWE Champion, because he’s going to lose it to John in the Steel Cage Match. Insert some Irish jokes, and then how Sheamus became WWE Champion twice. In a Steel Cage Match, no one can interfere, which is more important. He gets on a real roll about his match tonight when Nexus comes out, wearing… the most retarded shirts ever. I’m just sayin’.

Barrett says that they could go tot he ring and beat the living daylights out of him, but it’d be too easy. So, they’re going to wait until later on when everyone can watch them. They can do whatever they want with a clear conscience, because Cena brought it upon himself. Cena and Barrett are about to start arguing with the GM sends an email: Mr. Cena. Based upon your blatant disregard for my instructions, if any Superstar gets involved in the match tonight, they will be suspended for 90 days. Futhermore, the Nexus must tag in and out tonight. If they don’t abide by that rule, they will be suspended for 90 days as well. Barrett points out that Cena’s going to be in that ring all alone. Cena says that he may lose, but he’s going to take a few of them down with him tonight.

@Niki_Sushi White flash, white lightning, the pale kid with the red hair… Why not Sheamus McDonald? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Loved Cena calling them “NNNnnnnnnNNN” !! RT @Duce102694: Nexus is out w/ the ugly N Shirt #WWE #Raw

Eve is ringside and going on commentary for the Diva’s match.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim

Actually not a bad Diva’s match… Would have been better had Alicia actually hit her intended target with her finisher, but whatever. Eve on commentary was kind of… uninteresting, no matter how much I like Eve.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins by pinfall.

After the match, the RAW GM sends an email. He said that since Alicia faked an injury last week, Eve gets another chance at the Diva’s Championship this Sunday at Money in the Bank.

@divadirt Alicia vs Eve announced for Money in the Bank… TWO Divas matches this Sunday! OMG!

The Hart Dynasty and Natalya vs The Usos and Tamina in a Six Person Tag Team Match

During this match, we’re finally told about the guest host, though no one really cares. Tyson’s getting some good momentum early in, but Tamina shoves his foot off the rope to give…. whichever one it is the advantage. Sorry, but I didn’t hear the na- Jimmy was the one who got the advantage. David Hart Smith gets in and snatches the momentum back for the Hart Dynasty. He went for a cover, but Tamina pulled him off. Then Natalya got her out of the ring. The Usos steal the momentum back and take the win.

The Usos and Tamina win by pinfall!

Barrett is talking to Chris, thanking him for teaching him. Chris congratulates him, and then is stopped by Josh, but he walks off. Nexus then gangs up on Yoshi Tatsu, who stares at David Otunga before Otunga beats him up a little. Tarver then hits him a few times and gets in his face for no apparent reason.

@jcenadotcom Did anyone buy that beatdown by Nexus on Tatsu?

It’s a new day! It’s a new generation!!

Maryse and Ted DiBiase make their way out to the ring, and we’re reminded that Maryse helped to distract John Morrison last week so that DiBiase could steal the win. Ted introduces them as the Million Dollar Couple, then clarifying that he’s referring to himself and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He tells Maryse to imagine the possibilities after he wins the briefcase: he’ll shower her with gifts and will win the WWE Championship.

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

John Morrison says that he wouldn’t waste his time showering Maryse with gifts, because everyone knows the French don’t take showers. Maryse proceeds to say something in French, and Morrison just says OK and translates it as: everyone in the arena has hippo breath and smells like dueling rhinos in the Serengeti plains. And that Maryse herself resembles a dung chewing platypus. She goes to slap him, he blocks, and DiBiase attacks Morrison. DiBiase went for Dream Street, but Morrison countered. he beats on DiBiase for a minute and then goes for Starship Pain, only for Maryse to pull DiBiase out of the way.

@TKeep123 OK, I have to admit that Dibiase DID trade UP with Virgil Version 2. #wwe #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog New rule: you can’t hate John Cena for his silly promos and then cheer for John Morrison after that. http://bit.ly/RAW71210

Oh, God. We come back for some retarded Brady Bunch sort of segment with Santino and Regal both looking for tag team partners… Santino’s squares are Kozlov, Khali, and Goldust. Regal’s are Ryder, Primo, and a Doink wannabe. And there’s the mom from Brady Bunch. She gives Santino an apple pie (FLORENCE HENDERSON! That’s her name). Santino makes some dumb joke and canned laughter is given. She asks if Santino’s team is ready, and he says yes. More bad jokes and canned laughter, and Regal comes in with the most intelligent comment of the night: I just want to let you know how utterly ridiculous this is. Regal says that he’d go to her for advice on how to raise six annoying children, and he’d go to the Partridge family for other advice. She slaps Regal and shoves him out. Santino goes for a kiss and she stops him, heading out.

OH YEAH!!! Miz booted Truth out of the Money in the Bank PayPerView!!! Who’s going to take his place? We find out tonight!!! We get a flashback to Wrestlemania 21 in 2005 where Edge won the first ever Money in the Bank match. And then to ten months later, at Revolution 2006, where Edge cashed it in against John Cena to get the WWE Championship. Next up, Randy Orton faces Edge!

@_UncleDave Whats the purpose of a raw guest host, seriously? Oh yea, to help save a career of a z-list star. #raw

@dasharpshooters Edge trying to make Lohan weight? That dude looks bony as hell. #wwe #raw

You think you know me…

Edge vs Randy Orton

I love both Edge and Randy… So I’m seriously hoping this is a great match. Because I need something to wipe out that damn Brady Bunch segment… At any rate, Edge gets early momentum, which immediately goes to Randy. Randy holds tight to that momentum, beating on Edge before going to the cover, only for Edge to kick out at two. Randy keeps it for a good while until he throws Edge back into the ring and Edge greets him with a boot to the face. Edge looked like he was setting up for a spear, then lookled like he was setting up a punt, then just kicked him in the head… went for another, but Randy countered with a scoop slam and started to get the momentum back, but Edge snatched it by throwing Randy between the top and middle ropes.

(Just ’cause it made me laugh…)
@ThingsColeSays BREAKING… WWE has signed Paul Heyman to be the 8th man in the Raw MITB match, just to keep him away from TNA.

@AustinH_24seven Randy Orton: 50% tattoos, 50% RAGE #WWE

We come back, and Randy seems to have gotten some momentum back anyway. Edge hits him with a drop toe hold though and beats on Randy for a minute before putting him in a head lock. Randy seemed to be about to go out there, but countered and dropped Edge to the mat. Randy grabs the momentum back and hits a scoop slam. The ref tells Randy to get Edge back in the ring, but Edge manages to counter and attacks Randy. He goes for a cover, but Randy kicks out a two. Edge sets up for a Spear, but Randy kicks him and goes down, prepping for the RKO. Edge counters, goes for Spear, Randy jumps over him, covers Edge, Edge kicks out, and Randy hits a back breaker. Randy drops and starts pounding on the mat only for Jericho to come out and distract Randy. Edge takes advantage and pins Randy for the win.

Edge wins va pinfall.

Jericho climbs into the ring after the match and hits Edge with a Code breaker, Randy hits Jericho with an RKO, and Evan comes out to beat on Randy. Evan goes for Airbourne, but Randy hits the RKO in mid air.

Skip Sheffield is walking, and Josh Matthews stops him to talk about Nexus showing up on NXT tomorrow night, asking if they’re going to focus on the pros, rookies, or both. Morrison gets shoved or something, I missed it, and then Nexus surrounds Morrison. Morrison attacks, but Nexus gets the upper hand and throws Morrison into some doors. All of Nexus gangs up on Morrison and throws him into one of those big boxes that the Spirit Squad got thrown into back in the day- Wait, what’s that? A Glee reference? Says who?! Dolph? Oh, fine. Anyway, they all stand over him as the camera fades.

@TKeep123 Evan Bourn will think twice about another run-in on Randy Orton! Pretty amazing! #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi When Randy Fucking Orton RKO’s Evan Bourne mid-Air Bourne, you KNOW you’re fucked. #WWE #BWF

@ChrisC06 I would get beaten up by the Nexus for laughing at David Otunga’s spray-on hairdo. #WWE #Raw

@shot_of_flair My entire first page on my twitter feed just proved to me that huge boners were had with the SSP-RKO reversal. #WWE

@TKeep123 Orton’s RKO on Evan ranks up there with Jericho’s Codebreaker as a counter to both CMPunk & Mysterio coming off the ropes. #wwe #RAW #bwf

AWESOME!!

The Miz makes his way to the ring with a mic. My favorite part of the night. He mentions how everyone is talking about how they’re going to win Money in the Bank. Well, talk is cheap. We get a flashback to last week when Miz brutally attacked Truth (Did I say brutally? I meant beautifully…). He says that he’s never been more serious in his life. And he took out Truth with his bare hands, not a ladder. He didn’t just take away his ability to compete, he took away his ability to play catch with his son, his ability to entertain. Let’s face it, wherever Truth is, he’s not dancing. This Sunday, when Miz has the ladder in his hands, what he did to Truth will pale in comparison to what he’s going to do to his other opponents. One down, six to go. Because he’s The Miz and he just got interrupted by the GM, that bastard!!! Cole asks if he can have everyone’s attention, and they all scream no. The GM Says: The Miz will now compete against R-Truth’s replacement. See, there’s an old saying: Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions.

Somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked… somebody’s gonna get their weave split.

The United States Champion The Miz vs Mark Henry

I have to admit, I’m disappointed. I wish Mark Henry would split Alicia’s weave… Anyway, Miz goes for Henry pretty enthusiastically, but Henry is having none of it. Henry goes for outside of the ring, but Miz moves last second only for Henry to run into the podium with the laptop to communicate with the GM of RAW. Miz throws a basket of some kind on him, then dumps trash all over Mark and throws the trash can at him.

@dreamsinstatic R-Truth replaced by the Kool Aid man. Oh YEAH! #WWE

@Seanfranchise6 RAW MITB Match will be a FAIL cause MIZARK is in it.

@Niki_Sushi So…. in a round-about way… did Mark Henry just kill RAW’s GM? #RAW #BWF

@B_alpha_male The ‘Worlds strongest man’ just got taken out by rubber trash cans. #WWE #RAW

Dear God… Alright, now we’re going to see Florence Henderson out here as the Special Guest Ring Announcer. She says she’s feeling groovy, and NO I AM NOT FEELING GROOVY.

The Regal Bunch: William Regal, Zack Ryder, Primo, and Doink the Clown vs The Santino Bunch: Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Goldust, and the Great Khali in an 8-Man Tag Team Match

Okay, so… Flo stole Regal’s cloak, Santino finally hit the frigging Cobra, and Doink was tagged in. Doink uses a squirt gun to spray Khali, but Khali didn’t like it much, and pins Doink for the win after a smack to the head.

The Santino Bunch win via pinfall!

The music stops and Santino goes over to Flo again, but she ducks under him and goes to Khali. they kiss, and Santino is heartbroken… And I just threw up a little in my mouth… Khali picks her up and they kiss more, and I die a little inside….

@TKeep123 Ok, this Bradey Bunch tag match has potential to be a Royal mess…. Doink? Reminiscent of The Oddities. #wwe #raw #BWF

@aemckay Khali, you smoothie. Florence Henderson, you slut. #WWE #RAW

The Money in the Bank line up: Smackdown: Matt Hardy, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, The Big Show, Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, Christian, and Kane. RAW: United States Champion The Miz, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Edge, John Morrison, Ted DiBiase, Evan Bourne, and Chris Jericho.

Josh talks to Edge about how psycho Edge basically is. Edge says that he has a voice that talks to him and what not… I had this part typed out, but my computer decided to delete it. Evan’s with a trainer, and Sheamus shows up. He asks if the RKO messed Evan up, and then Nexus shows up. Sheamus looks nervous and says that Bourne was bragging about how he helped jump them last week. Insert Nexus beating up Bourne now. Sheamus kneels next to Bourne and says that that’ll teach him a lesson, won’t it, fella? Nexus comes back and looks at Sheamus. They start after Sheamus, but Sheamus runs, and asks where Cena’s locker room is before taking off again.

@iwcmvp Josh Matthews is the leader of The Nexus #WWE

Nexus vs John Cena in a Six-on-One Handicapped Match

Reminder: If anyone helps Cena, they’re suspended for 90 days. If Nexus doesn’t tag in and out, then they’re suspended for 90 days. It starts with Cena tearing Tarver up. Tarver tags in Justin Gabriel. Gabriel rolls over to tag in Skip Sheffield after taking a slight beating from Cena. Cena and Sheffield are having a match of strength before Sheffield shoves Cena into the corner. Cena manages to wiggle out before Nexus all get out of the ring and huddle up for a minute to rethink their strategy. The ref is yelling at them to get back up on the apron. While the ref is distracted, Heath Slater attacks him from behind, and Sheffield beats on Cena., throwing Cena into his corner. Slater is tagged in, keeping Cena in the corner as Nexus beats up on Cena while Slater distracts the ref. Slater keeps hitting Cena pretty hard with some suplexes before tagging in David Otunga. Cena fights back and manages to get some hits in on other members of Nexus before Otunga gets him again, suplexing Cena. Cena manages to drop Otunga, and then Wade Barrett is tagged in. It looks like John was saving his energy for Barrett, but Barrett hits Cena with a boot to the face. He got Cena up in a Fireman’s Carry, but Cena got out, beating on Barrett with some shoulder take downs before hitting the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Barrett. Sheffiled tags himself in as Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Barrett. Sheffield hits that clothesline, then tags in Otunga. Otunga hits Cena, then tags in Gabriel, who pulls Cena closer to the corner and hits the 450 Splash, and goes for the cover for the win.

The Nexus wins via pinfall.

Nexus celebrates in the ring afterward, and Barrett makes them all back off. Cena uses Barrett to stand up before punching Barrett and running for a chair. He takes out Slater and runs into the ring. Nexus scatters outside of the ring and gets Slater. Barrett pulls them all back together to strategize, and they surround the ring again. Cena’s bleeding here, by the way. Nexus surrounds the ring, but Sheamus comes in with a chair too, losing it in his hurry to beat on Nexus. Cena and Sheamus clear the ring with their chairs, finally working in unison.

Not a bad show tonight, overall. Guys, next week, use the #BWF hashtag in your tweets so that I can put you in the RAW review, alright? Thanks!!

Power Poll 7/7/10 – All American Dream

July 8, 2010 1:29 am 1 Comment

Hooray for me actually participating this week – it gives me the right to comment on everything myself! Here goes!

1. Sheamus (Last week: 1)

On our facebook page earlier this week, I posted that only one of the three World Champions made my list this week – and this is the guy. I voted Sheamus number two after a few great promos on RAW.

2. John Cena (7)

Another guy that wasn’t bad on the mic this week is John Cena. I actually missed the end of RAW, and that could contribute to why Cena didn’t make my personal list this week.

3. Randy Orton (6)

The Viper did make my ballot this week – I actually picked him sixth. An impressive showing in the tag match on RAW and a post match RKO on Evan Bourne helped Orton in this week’s poll.

4. Rey Mysterio (4)

I didn’t pick Mysterio at all – He’s just another victim of…

5. Jack Swagger (NR)

The All American American Jack Swagger. I’ve been so impressed with Swagger the last couple of weeks that I actually picked him number one this week on my ballot. It wasn’t enough to put the former World Heavyweight Champion past number 5 on the Power Poll this week, however.

6. Abyss (5)

I didn’t vote for Abyss, but I did like the way he handled doing the crazy gimmick on iMPACT this week. The board with the nails in it may be good for chasing away aliens on “The Simpsons,” but it couldn’t stop Jeff Hardy.

7. Evan Bourne (NR)

The high flying Evan Bourne somehow managed to slip under my radar this week, as he wasn’t on my ballot. All the credit in the world to this kid, he’s been a thorn in Chris Jericho’s side for the last month or so, and is definitely the guy most people, myself included, are looking forward to watching in RAW’s Money In The Bank ladder match.

8. Kurt Angle (2)

Angle got enough votes to stay on the Power Poll this week? A promo with The Pope didn’t do it for me, but apparently it worked for some of the voters.

9. Jay Lethal (9)

Lethal has impressed lately, getting a push in the Hogan/Bischoff era of TNA. A win, albeit tainted, over Matt Morgan this week had me pick Lethal 5th on my list, and let him hang on to #9 overall.

10. Jeff Hardy (NR)

The victory over Abyss on iMPACT must have garnered Hardy enough attention from my fellow pollsters to get him into the top 10. Hardy was impressive in the win, I must admit, but I didn’t vote for him.

Participating sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Online World of Wrestling, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, WrestleRage.com, Wrestlespective

RAW 7.5.10

July 5, 2010 11:15 pm 1 Comment

Terribly sorry everyone, but I feel like crap. I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m just exhausted and what not. So, thanks to that… I’m going to be shortening the RAW review to the bare minimum. Just the important parts and the matches/who won. So… yeah. Here we go!

According to the commercial that came on about five minutes before RAW did, Eve has invoked her rematch clause for the Diva’s Championship against Alicia Fox, and tonight, we’ll find out what the mystery General Manager has in store for Nexus.

We start of RAW with Nexus (and Wade Barrett this week) standing in a line in the ring. Wade says attacking Vince McMahon was just part of a bigger picture. Sheffield says that they attacked Ricky Steamboat and the Legends just for fun, which wasn’t why they attacked the others. An email from the GM says that he’s decided on a punishment for Nexus for their attack on Vince: None of the Nexus can compete for a WWE Title until further notice. Furthermore, the ruling of Nexus members not being able to touch WWE Superstars and vice-versa has been lifted. Cena comes out, followed by Randy, Truth, Evan, John Morrison, and the Hart Dynasty. the Superstars are attacked by Sheamus, Uso’s, Ted, Jericho, Miz, and Edge. Nexus has disappeared. The faces are left standing in the ring. Sheamus says that the heels don’t want to help him. Randy says that he and Cena will never be friends unless they have to, and says that they should finish what they started with the seven heels. An email from the GM says that if they want action, they’ll get it. All eight members of the Money in the Bank Ladder Match will be against one another in singles competition. Cena will face Barrett tonight, but it won’t be a match. The GM want Cena and Barrett to call a truce. Cena says that instead of calling a truce, how about he knocks Barrett’s teeth out. GM says he needs Cena to be the bigger man and he trusts Cena to do the right thing, or else his actions will be met with the appropriate consequences, and… that’s the bottom line, because the GM said so.

John Morrison vs Ted DiBiase with Maryse

Maryse sits ringside and calls Cole out for calling her a gold digger. I’m actually a little amused by her, especially that she answered the phone during the match, and just insults Cole. It makes me laugh. Anyway, she jacks Morrison’s jacket and distracts him so that Ted can get a cheap shot… or four? DiBiase hits Dream Street for the win.

Ted DiBiase wins by pinfall.

Santino and Vladimir Kozlov make their way to the ring (“Italia and Russia together again! Like World War 2! Except this time, no Nazis.” – Santino Marealla), and later, John Cena and Wade Barrett are supposed to call a truce… yeah right.

Slam of the Week: Vladimir Kozlov defeats Santino Marella and then beats up William Regal after Regal attacks Santino.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and The Great Khali

Regal calls them oxygen thieves before the match even starts and makes me laugh. Regal calls Khali a monster, which makes me roll my eyes… At any rate, Kozlov demolishes Regal, then tags Santino in, almost getting in trouble, Santino gets demolished by Regal, and Kozlov pins Regal.

Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella win via pinfall.

After the match, Khali climbs in the ring, and tells Santino and Vladimir to stand Regal up, and just knocks him in the head. Khali and Santino, and Ranjin, dance, and Vladimir wonders where his days of glory went off to.

Later on tonight, Edge brings Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne to The Cutting Edge, as well as information on Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and the other Legends after last week’s assault.

Arn Anderson says that Ricky’s attack was serious. Sheamus shows up and mocks Anderson, essentially, calling him a pathetic old man. Anderson says that they have to get out of the way of their egos and work on Nexus, or the company, and their careers, are going to go up in flames.

United States Champion The Miz vs R-Truth

Miz come sout to Truth’s theme and is rapping, which made me die… It was hilarious. Before the match even starts, he starts beating on Truth, while I’m still laughing my ass off… Anyway, Miz just goes off on Truth’s arm. The bell never officially rang, but for my ego’s sake…

The United States Champion The Miz wins… by ass-kicking.

The Cutting Edge: Money In the Bank Pay-Per-View Edition

Edge makes his way to the ring, set up with ladders, and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He says that he’s smarter than Randy and everyone else there. Why make seven enemies, when he can make seven powerful allies? They just need leadership, which he can provide. He goes to call out Evan Bourne, but Jericho comes out instead.

Jericho says he doesn’t take a back seat to anyone, and that Edge is shamelessly pandering to Nexus. He was Wade Barrett’s pro, and that helped him win the season. Chris told Barrett to make an impact, do something never done before. Edge rubs the loss to Evan Bourne in, and Jericho rubs Edge’s loss at Wrestlemania in. Edge starts to give Jericho a history lesson, but Edge just wants to be Jericho, according to Jericho. Edge gets sick of Jericho and attacks him. Jericho attacks back and puts Edge in the walls of Jericho, but Evan comes out and hits Jericho. Then, he jumps over a Spear, ducks under both of them, and flips right out of hte ring. Then the GM sends an email.

The GM says if the audience want to see some action, give him a HELL YEAH. So, they’re clearing the ring of The Cutting Edge stuff, and the following is going to take place.

Edge and Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

Starts off with Orton and Bourne getting some really good momentum, and then Jericho turns it around right before the commercial break. When we come back, Edge still has the momentum over Bourne, mostly thanks to Jericho beating Bourne during the break. Randy almost had Jericho set up for the RKO, but Edge interfered and Jericho manage to hit the insigari. Bourne gets tagged in, and Jericho starts to yell and berate Edge, so Edge spears him. Bourne hits the Air Bourne for the win.

Randy Orton and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.

Afterward, Randy hits an RKO on Evan, and smirks toward the ramp.

Randy walks backstage, and Nexus stops him. Otunga says that nothing was against Randy, but the WWE Championship match at Fatal 4Way was just to make a statement. They’re trying to apologize, and they won’t interfere in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, but they can’t promise anything for the steel cage match. Otunga says he wants Randy to think about hit next time Cena tries to recruit him. Randy says he’s heard what they have to say, now get out of his face.

During the previous commercial break, the GM emailed and said that the Hart Dynasty would defend their Unified Tag Team Championships against The Uso’s. The Uso’s and Tamina tell Josh Matthews that this is the opportunity of the lifetime. They say they’ll be the new Tag Team Champions, and next week, everyone will know what the Uso’s and Tamina are all about. Alicia seems upset that she hasn’t been interviewed once since she became the Diva’s Champion. She asks if it’s because she’s not important, or because he doesn’t care what she has to say, and the WWE Universe says that, yeah, she’s pretty much right. Anyway, next is the Diva’s Championship match.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres for the Diva’s Championship

Pretty standard Diva’s match, with Alicia faking an ankle injury to get Eve off guard to retain.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox retains via pinfall.

The GM says that next week, Edge and Randy Orton will go one on one.

Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring as we get back from the commercial break. Wade says that he wants Cena to come out so they can shake hands like men.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER FOOD!!!!

Cena comes out and starts checking for Nexus. He gets in the ring, still looking for Nexus. Wade says that Cena is not in Nexus’ future plans, regardless of what they’ve done. Barrett wants to put everything in the past behind them so that they can move on. The simple fact is that the Nexus Seven are going to be there for a long time and can make his life easy, or a lot harder than it has been. The choice is Cena’s.

Cena asks, if they shake hands, it stops? No more looking over his shoulder? Cena says that the anonymous GM wanted to do this truce, but Cena needs to know if Barrett does, and he needs Barrett’s word. If they shake hands, this stops. Cena holds his hand out, and Barrett goes to shake it, but Cena pulls his hand away and asks why stop when they’re having so much fun?! Cena says take your truces, handshakes, future plans, blah blah blah, crumple them, and stuff them up your Nexus. The future is that Cena takes down Nexus, whether he does it himself, has help, he gets to every single one of them.

Barrett says that the fact that Cena is even capable of standing in the ring is a testament to, basically, how it isn’t about him. Barrett is warning Cena: Shake his hand, or Cena will face some very, very severe consequences. Cena grabs his hand, then starts to get him in an Attitude Adjustment. The Nexus Seven come out, but then dso does Evan Bourne, John Morrison, Mark Henry, Khali, Goldust, Kozlov, Santino, the Hart Dynasty, Yoshi Tatsu… and I think that was all… it got hard to tell. Sorry. Basically, Nexus is then shoved out of the ring, except Darren Young, who got bitch slapped by Mark Henry.

The GM sends an email: I wanted peace, so if things don’t stop now, there will be consequences. Cena puts Young in the STF. The GM sends another email: Cena, because of your actions, you will now face all members of the Nexus next week in a seven-on-one handicapped match. Cena then begins hammering away on Darren Young again. Cena then throws the “steel” ring steps at Darren Young’s head, throws Young over the announce table, and then shoves the announce table over on Young.

Next week, I guess we’ll see more of the Nexus. Until then, seeya around.

Power Poll 6/30/10: Fellabration time

June 30, 2010 12:14 pm Leave a Comment

Yours truly missed the deadline to submit this week despite reminding myself constantly. Here’s this week’s power poll with comments from Jason Mann of WrestlePerspective!

1. Sheamus (Last week: 3)
The WWE champion vaults to the top spot in the Power Poll thanks to his fine, fellariffic promos, his strong win against Mark Henry and his ability to keep his working papers in order.

2. Kurt Angle (4)
Angle has moved up the Power Poll rankings much quicker than he has in the TNA top 10 after a win in a stellar match against Desmond Wolfe.

3. Rob Van Dam (2)
The TNA champion again did little on Impact, other than be attacked by Abyss, but his strong showings during his title reign have kept him from slipping, yet.

4. Rey Mysterio (1)
Mysterio was absent from this week’s Smackdown, presumably still celebrating his World Championship victory, but holding the belt means a lot in these rankings.

5. Abyss (7)
The monster continued his reign of terror, beating Ken Anderson in the main event of Impact and wrecking havoc through the show, in preparation for his big feud with Hulk Hogan.

6. Randy Orton (9)
Despite reportedly being banged up, Orton managed to pick up a victory over Ted DiBiase in the 8-man “mega” tag match on Raw. Isn’t it funny that Orton is becoming so well known for concealing his injuries, while his father’s gimmick was milking them for all they are worth.

7. John Cena (5)
The former champ slides down a bit, but he’ll have a chance to vault up the ranks again in a steel-cage match against Sheamus. That cage should keep those pesky Nexus folks from interfering, I’m sure, because there certainly hasn’t been a cage match in the past 20 years with outside interference.

8. Chris Jericho (NR)
Riding high on his network game show, Jericho seems to have reversed his poor fortune of late and finds a spot on the Power Poll.

9. Jay Lethal (NR)
No one’s been hotter on Impact over the past few weeks than Lethal, and he makes into the Power Poll with a convincing win over Kazarian.

10. Ken Anderson (NR)
Thursday wasn’t his strongest showing, but he’s another TNA character with a strong showing recently and he has a chance to do even better at Victory Road.

Dropped out: The Miz (6), Evan Bourne (8), Kofi Kingston (10)

Also receiving votes: The Miz, Kane, Jack Swagger, C.M. Punk, Kofi Kingston, Sting, Matt Hardy, Bryan Danielson, Cody Rhodes, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy

Participating sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Online World of Wrestling, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, WrestleRage.com, Wrestlespective

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 list ranking men’s singles wrestlers in WWE and TNA voted by wrestling writers. If you are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective(at)gmail.com and include a link to your site.

RAW 6.28.10

June 29, 2010 12:21 am 1 Comment

Hey everybody! Sorry about the lack of a RAW review last week. I had some computer troubles. But, I have a new laptop now, and I’m back in business. For more frequent updates as to why I’m not doing what I’m supposed to, make sure you follow me on Twitter: @TheMizMagnet. This week, Rob Zombie hosts!! Not only that, but what are the consequences supposed to be for the NXT Rookies attacking Mr. McMahon? What about this new GM? Who the hell is he… or she?!

Last Monday, the NXT Rookies surrounded Referee!Vince in the ring and then violently/brutally, whatever you wanna call it, attacked him, leaving him motionless in the ring as they all stood over him.

We start off RAW with no theme music. We’re told that we know nothing so far about Vince’s condition, but we’ll be updated if anything new is discovered tonight. Also, the NXT Season One Rookies want to be called Nexus, and Wade Barrett is at WWE HQ to plead his case and what not. The new anonymous General Manager says that the Nexus’ actions would be met with the appropriate consequences.

It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man who could wind up dead...

Sheamus comes out to the ring and says that he watched the footage of Nexus beating Vince several times and he has to say he’s disgusted. He’s disgusted about what went down. So, as the WWE Champion, he felt it was his responsibility to make a statement on behalf of the company: the champ is here. Even though the Nexus lads got involved in his match, eveyone knows he would have beaten Cena regardless, and he would have proved he’s worthy of the Championship. He knows it’s unfortunate when it happens, but one important thing came out of it: Cena’s not the #1 Contender for the belt, and why? because he used his rematch clause. It means that he no longer has to look at the tacky orange t-shrits, no longer does he have to listen to the never-give-up slogans, and no longer does he have to listen to the WWE Universe chant “Cena” every week like parrots. No longer does he have to listen to Cena make fun of his beautiful Irish skin by calling him a human jar of mayo. He hates Cena. Cena can get to the back of the queue, like everyone else, because he’s through and he’s never gonna get a shot at Sheamus’ gold ever again.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHABADOO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring and just stands there for a couple minutes, grinning and listening to the crowd. Sheamus asks him what he’s doing there, and says that he’s not going to get another shot at him or his belt again. Cena says that he knows and he didn’t come out there for that. He came out here to ask for help. Everybody here saw how Sheamus won the Championship, everyone saw how he kept it. It’s the group calling themselves Nexus. They made a target out of him because he was the WWE Champion, and they’re coming after the human jar of Mayo, Philly’s own giant block of cream cheese, the WWE Champion, Sheamus. Cena says he’s gonna cut to thee chase: They don’t like each other. Sheamus is tough as nails and can fight. Wanna keep the championship? His career? Then help Cena right now. They are going to start off RAW the way they should, for one night only, they fight, side by side, right now because Cena’s calling out Nexus, and they’re gonna start off RAW with a brawl.

However, an email sound comes on and Michael Cole stands up and says that he has an email. He’s like the new AOL guy: Welcome. I’ve got mail! Anyway, the email says, and Cole quotes (though I don’t, because that was a lot to type at once with Cole’s voice giving me a migraine), “I’ll wait until next week to take action agaisnt Nexus. I will allow spokesman Barrett time to present his case to WWE Officials. However, as far as tonight is concerned, if any membner of that group makes any contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated. However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact, they will be suspended.”

Cena thanks the anonymous General Manager. He says that it’s not a total loss, because they’ve learned something about Sheamus. He’s not just pale skin, and he’s a good dude. Honestly, he’s a pretty good guy. Sheamus was thinking to himself that they should have started RAW with a brawl, but, since they can’t, they’re thinking that they should start of RAW with a WWE Championship match!

The email sound comes again and Cole repeats that he has an email. None of us are, apparently, intelligent enough to know what that sound means. This email says that the WWE Championship, Sheamus will be in action tonight, but it’ll be against Mark Henry.

Cena explodes here (metaphorically speaking. Sorry to disappoint some of you). He claims his life is being ruined by the internet, and he hasn’t freaked out this bad since his mom cancelled his Warcraft subscription. He says that the GM should email him directly… at… candypants264@gmail.org. He goes on, but Cole has to tell us he has an email, so I missed it. The email says that in three weeks, there is a new PayPerView called Money in the Bank, where the winner will receive a contract for a WWE Title match that they can cash in at any time. You know, the same stipulations participants get at Wrestlemania. He says that the eight participants for the RAW match will be revealed later tonight, and he would like to demonstrate. Sheamus says the General Manager can demonstrate all he wants, because Shemaus has wasted enough of his time there and he’s out of there. In the ring, the cage starts to lower. The email goes on and says that since last week’s title match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage match.

Six Person Tag Match: The Unified Tag Team Champions David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya vs

As the Hart Dynasty comes out to the ring, the Usos come out and lay the Hart Dynasty out. They start to go back up the ramp, but Tamina runs down and throws Natalya in the ring, hitting her with the Superfly Splash.

Backstage, Josh Matthews asks R-Truth what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Truth says that they’re behaving like wild, untamed animals. He says not to fire them because that’s too easy. He tells Josh to leave them there at the WWE Zoo, where he’s the zookeeper. And that’s the Truth.

Vladimir Kozlov vs Santino Marella – If Santino wins, then Vladimir will be Santion’s tag partner

Vladimir is already in the ring, and this match is pretty quick as we move through Santino entering the ring. Santino goes for a lot of moves, Kozlov just brushes him off, blah blah blah, Kozlov ends up pinning Santino.

Vladimir Kozlov Wins!

Kozlov seems to be amused as he keeps helping Santino up only for him to fall back down. He starts to head up the ramp when William Regal comes out, shakes Kozlov’s hand, and then runs into the ring and attacks Santino. Kozlov goes back into the ring and attacks Regal. Then, he carries Santino right out of the ring and up the ramp.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Great Khali, asking him what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Khali says something, but Ranjin Singh just says that Khali says that he’s a big, stupid giant and his manager is really tired of protecting him. If Nexus were to come up right now, Khali would run.

Tomorrow night, the second season of NXT gets their first votes!!

Tonight’s guest host is a five-time Grammy nominated musician, a screen writer, a producer, and actor, he’s Rob Zombie! He’s also the anniversary guest host, so to speak, for this is one year to the week of the first Guest Host! Rob Zombie says he’s there because he loves sick and twisted things, like the sick and twisted things that go on in the ring, like Money in the Bank. He’s there to announce the Money in the Bank Ladder Match participants for RAW: Randy Orton, The United States Champion, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bounre, Ted DiBiase, John Morrison and… this guy.

Edge shows up on the TitanTron and says that he hasn’t talked to Rob Zombie since he dumped his entrace theme. Rob Zombie says that he wants to set the record straight. He took his song back because he couldnt’ stand to have Edge destroy it. He starts to leave the ring and Edge asks him if that’s it. Did he scare away the horror director, the astro-creep? All that matters is that he won the first ever MitB, and cashed it in on Cena and won his first WWE Championship. Don’t we remember that? Why doesn’t he remind us?

Yeah, Edge did that. He did it and he had so much fun doing it, that he did it years later against the Undertaker. That’s what he was talking about last week when he speared Orton and said now the fun begins because Edge owns Money in the Bank. And he’s gonna show everyone just how twisted he can be ’cause you wanna know what happens when a Viper runs into a guy with a 20 foot ladder? The Viper gets his head crushed before he can strike. And Edge is going to do that to every other participant in that match, and at the end of the match, they will all be staring up at him.

The infamous email sound comes up and Cole says that tonight’s main event will feature all eight Money in the Bank participants in an Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match! Edge, The United States Champion, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, and Randy Orton.

Next: Mark Henry v Sheamus

WWE Champion Sheamus vs Mark Henry

Mark Henry comes out with his rookie, Lucky Cannon, who goes backstage right after. The match starts with Sheamus gaining control until Henry shoves him. Sheamus and Henry exchange hits (if you wanna call it that), and Sheamus hits Henry with a DDT. He goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out a two. Sheamus drops his knee on Henry’s face, and then hits his chest a few times before going for another cover. Henry kicks out at two again. Sheamus gets Henry in a headlock, but then gets backed into a corner. As usual, Sheamus goes for Henry’s knee and tries to take him down with clotheslines before Henry hits one. Henry hits a splash a minute later, and goes for a cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Henry gets up, and Sheamus hits him with whatever his boot move is called, and then covers Henry for the win.

Sheamus wins!

Josh Matthews is now backstage with Nexus. He asks for their reactions to the General Manager’s ruling. Tarver says it goes both ways. They can be fired for attacking a Superstar, but the Superstars will be suspended if they attack Nexus. Besides, Nexus can still make an impact. To prove this point, Skip Sheffield seems to think it’ll be sufficient to knock out some tech guy who probably pissed his pants as soon as Sheffield looked at him. Darren Young says that’s what they mean, and Nexus laughs.

Still to come, our Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

“Money” by I Fight Dragons is the official Money in the Bank theme!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that tomorrow, a new DVD will be out. Before he says who the DVD is about, he wants to show us something.

Ricky Steamboat comes out, and Jerry says that a few more guys in the back want to say something. Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Mike Rotunda, and Micheal P.S. Hays come out to honor his career. They all say some really graet things about Ricky. When Steamboat goes to speak, the Nexus theme hits and they all come out. They surround the ring and then start to take out the legends in the ring one by one until it’s just them and Steamboat in the ring. Steamboat manages to put up a pretty good fight for about thirty seconds before Nexus overpowers him, and we see the same crap we’ve seen for what seems like forever now.

Reminder! Nexus just attacked the legends! Another reminder! The Superstars can’t attack Nexus or they’ll be suspended, which is why no one helped the legends! Realization: With Jerry gone, we now have to listen to Michael Cole scream “VINTAGE” and wet himself all night… Joygasm.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse vs Gail Kim and Eve Torres

Lucky for me, if you wanna put it that way, Michael Cole is joined by Josh Matthews. Anyway, Alicia and Eve start, some hits are exchanged, blah blah blah… I got really distracted by whatever Alicia was wearing, so all I know is that eventually, Gail came in and was doing pretty good, but something happened and Alicia hit an axe kick on Gail and won it for her and Maryse.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox and Maryse win!

Next up is the Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

Reminder! Last week, Nexus attacked Vince! Reminder!! About fifteen to thirty minutes ago, they attacked WWE Hall of Famers! Next week our slacker GM will determine the fate of Nexus.

Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match
The Rated R Superstar Edge, Chris Jericho, The United States Champion The Miz, and Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

Just because I’m having a moment and I don’t want this to go straight to the commercial thing, I’m going to have some theme song fun!!

You think you know me…

Break the walls down!!

AWESOME! I came to play!

It’s a new day! It’s a new generation!!

What’s up?… What’s up?

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

*Airplane noises*

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

DiBiase and Morrison start it off. DiBiase gets Morrison into the corner and Irish Whips him, but Morrison counters and throws DiBiase down. He gets DiBiase into a headlock and then moves to his corner, tagging in Truth.

Truth slaps DiBiase, who returns it witha punch. Truth then throws DiBiase over the top rope and tags in Bourne, who jumps off the apron and right into DiBiase before throwing him back into the ring. A few hard kicks get DiBiase off his feet. Bourne goes for a cover, but DiBiase kicks out at two and tags in Miz.

Miz gets flipped by Bourne almost immediately, and Bourne goes for a cover only for Miz to kick out at two. He punches Bourne and hits an Irish Whip, only to get hit by a kick to the face. Bourne slams into Miz and goes for the cover again, only for Miz to kick out at two. Bourne throws Miz across the ring and runs at him, only to get Miz’ shoulder in his face. Jericho distracts the ref as DiBiase hits Bourne. Miz tags in Jericho.

Jericho kicks Bounre and then drops him into the bottom rope, hitting a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring next. Edge drops down and hits Bourne while Jericho distracts the ref, and then Jericho goes out to throw Bourne back in. Jericho mocks Bounre before he pulls Bourne to the heel corner and tags Miz back in.

Miz stomps on Bourne a few times before putting his knee in Bourne’s spine. He then plants his knee in Bourne’s spine, lifting Bourne’s head, before slipping into a headlock. Bourne fights out and Miz goes for a suplex, but is kneed to the head by Bourne, who tags Morrison back in.

Morrison hits Miz with two clothesline, then Irish Whips him to a corner, hits a flying chuck, and sets up Starship Pain only for DiBiase to pull Miz out. Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes both out. He goes to throw Miz back in, but Jericho distracts the ref and Edge attacks Morrison.

During the break, Jericho rammed Morrison with a ladder and then feigned injury. Jericho and Morrison are still in the ring, but Morrison falls out of the ring after taking some blows from DiBiase. Jericho brings Morrison into the ring, and Morrison manages to cover Chris, who kicks out at two and in turn, covers Morrison. Morrison kicks out at two, and Jericho tags Edge in.

Edge knees Morrison in the gut, and Morrison fights back, hitting Edge a few times. Edge hits a drop toe-hold on Morrison, and holds onto Morrison’s ankle, pulling him back into the heel corner. Morrison starts to fight back, and Edge tags in DiBiase.

DiBiase hammers away on Morrison as soon as he gets in. When Morrison tries to get some momentum, DiBiase hits him with a scoop slam, locking a headlock on Morrison after. DiBiase then tags in Edge.

Edge flings Morrison into the corner, and Morrison kicks Edge only to get a big boot to the face. He goes into a corner and prepares for the Spear, but Morrison gets out of the way. Edge pulls Morrison back, and Morrison manages to hit an insagiri on the back of Edge’s head. Both are down before Edge tags in Jericho, and Morrison tags in Bourne.

Bourne hits a hurricanrana, then a missile dropkick, countering Jericho’s Irish Whip and hitting Jericho with some high kicks. He goes for a cover on Jericho, but Jericho kicks out at two. Bourne goes to the top rope, and Jericho is right behind him, hitting him. Jericho attempts a suplex, but Bourne gets his knee in Jericho’s face and pushes him down. Bourne goes for Air Bourne and misses it, instead hit with the Codebreaker. Jericho ends up having to tag in DiBiase as Bourne tags in Randy. Orton hits the RKO as soon as DiBiase is close enough.

Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and R-Truth win

After the match, Edge runs back into the ring and attacks Randy from behind. He also brings in a ladder. Truth goes in to help or something, but is hit by a ladder as well. John Morrison and Evan Bourne kick the ladder, sending Edge flying backward. Jericho attempts a Codebreaker or something, but Evan knocks him out of the ring. Morrison helps Bourne onto the top rope, where he flies right into Jericho. Meanwhile, Miz takes out Morrison back in the ring with a Skull Crushing Finale. With the ring cleared, he sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, starting a slow climb up it. Before he can grab the briefcase, Randy comes in and pushes it over, sending Miz right into the ropes. Randy then sets the ladder back up, climbing it and taking the briefcase for himself.

Overall Thoughts: Not too bad a show, though I don’t care what Nexus has planned anymore as long as they stay off my screen with it. Seriously, I’d rather watch Mark Henry try to rap again than anything else they have to do.

Random Randomness

June 20, 2010 11:22 am 3 Comments

What’s up folks and Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers in the bWf Universe! As we stand here thinking were so cool why don’t you just, read on: (more…)

Tag Archive: Chris Jericho

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