TNA Impact Wrestling 03/10/2013; I’m Ill And Half Assing
Leave a CommentI’m tired and I’m ill. I’m actually half assing this stuff. I mean it this time.
I’m tired and I’m ill. I’m actually half assing this stuff. I mean it this time.
Same as before; tired, eating lunch, yadda yadda. Reading out the reviews on the air makes me realise how much unnecessary stuff I put in them. Still leranin folks, bear with me.
Interesting GIF this week, G.
The crew celebrate the site turning five the only way they know how – Cock talk! Joe, Jorge, JT, and G talk about the week in wrestling and are joined via the social stream on Ustream by Rytman and the returning mysterious Mavenfan. Raw is reviewed, Main Event is mentioned, Impact is investigated, and SmackDown is spoken about. JT-G returns, and his vote for Rebecca Black’s “Friday” to be the break song is vetoed. We find out Bret Hart’s thoughts on Owen not being in the WWE Hall of Fame, hear how James Storm is doing after his match at Slammiversary, and discover what caused Chris Sabin to bleed after Ultimate X. Jeff and Karen Jarrett tweet their thoughts on Kurt Angle being the next inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame. We discover what That Damn Double C would do with the Dolph Ziggler character if he were running things. Scott Steiner wins the Dutch World Championship. Mavenfan reveals himself to not be a him at all. All this, and much, much more on BoredWrestlingFan Radio!
BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 77 (MP3, 2:09:57)
This week’s break song was “Download This Song” by MC Lars f/ Jaret Reddick. Buy it here!
Felt like doing something for the site’s fifth anniversary, and since no-one else seems to be covering Impact, I thought I’d give it a try.
This will be more of a review than a recap of the whole show, as I’m sure the BWF anniversary show will be packed. So I will keep it brief.
First off, let’s look at the wrestling. Our first match was Chavo Gurrero vs. Hernandez. It looked like the first five minutes of what could’ve been a decent 15 minute match – minus the last ten minutes. Hernandez wins after Chavo tried a sunset flip, and Hernandez rolled out and hooked his legs for a press. Over way too quick to make any kind of lasting impression, and I think Hernandez might’ve botched the finish slightly, as it took him a few seconds to hook Chavo.
Our second match of the night was Samoa Joe PRISON RAPING Robbie E. Robbie got in an eye gouge and a few shots to the head and that was it. Joe never let up for a second, and got the win w/his cradle-neckbreaker combo. It was the kind of straight up squash we haven’t seen since the days of the original WWF Saturday morning syndicated programs.
We had a six-man tag between newly crowned Tag Team Champions Gunner and “Cowboy” James Gunn w/new X-Division Champion Chris Sabin against former tag champs “The IT Factor” Bobby Rude and “The Greatest Man who Ever Lived,” Austin Aries w/former X-Division Champ Kenny King. Not a lot of double teaming in this match, just paring off of two men from each team every few seconds. The match breaks down into a spot-fest ending w/Sabin getting the pin on Kenny King. Not a bad match in any way, shape or form, but nothing I haven’t seen before either.
TNA Knockouts Champ Mickey James took on Taler Hendrix in a knockouts match. James spent the first half of the match selling Hendrix big, and applauding for her every time she hit a move with a less than sincere smile. James wraps this up by selling an arm injury and hiding behind referee ODB, then hitting an uppercut on Hendrix when she gets too close. James gets the three with an unconvincing spin-kick to the shoulder. I might become a Taler Hendrix fan, but not because of this match.
And now, our main event of the evening; Champion Bully Ray faces Jeff Hardy in a ladder match! However the title is not on the line, so instead, a hammer will be the prize hung from the roof. Whoever gets to it first gets to use it as a weapon.
The match was a botchy, clumsy affair, with some scary spots, like Ray just yanking the ladder out from Hardy, who went straight down hard, and landed ugly. Ray gets the hammer but takes a “twist-of-fate” stunner. The hammer goes flying right into Jeff’s hand. Ray runs away and Jeff collapses trying to chase him. A ref helps Jeff to the back and we get NO DECISION MADE ON THE MATCH!
Now let’s look at some other aspects of the show.
First off, the show’s major storyline was the Hogan, Brooke, Bully angle. The show opened with Bully bragging about his win over Sting at Slamerversary, and demanding to be put in the TNA Hall of Fame. General Manager Hulk Hogan came out to “give the Devil his due,” and congratulate Ray on winning with nothing but the help of the entire “Aces & Eight’s” stable, and a hammer. Hogan announces the “Bound for Glory” series will start this month, and he brings out Jeff Hardy. Hogan books the ladder match right then/there, with Hardy getting NO mike time and NO dialogue. Hardy does get to pull the hammer out of his pants, and Hogan did mention this would be Hardy’s chance at payback for things that happened to him earlier.
We get a backstage segment where Bully is talking to another A&E member I don’t know over a few dozen beers. He wonders why Hogan would put the beloved Jeff Hardy in a match this dangerous, and why A&E doesn’t have a rep in the BFG series. The other guy hints at wanting to be “Vice President” of the group, and Ray walks off.
After the match, Bully runs backstage to breath heavily, yell for his belt, and plop his ass down on the ground. Hogan sneaks up behind Ray with a hammer in his hand. He raises it over the unsuspecting champ. Brooke Hogan screams “NO” and runs into frame. Brooke is between her father and her husband. Hogan stares at Brooke, Brooke stares at Ray, and Ray stares at both of them, then runs off. So basically, Hogan was ready to STRAIGHT-UP MURDER HIS COMPANY’S CHAMPION ON NATIONAL TV, and his daughter had to stop him.
Another major storyline was Devon trying to get his belt back. Devon comes out demanding Abyss return the TV title that he won at Slamerversary. Joseph Park comes out instead, saying he won’t be bullied anymore, and taking Devon down. Joseph wails away on Devon, but when the fight spills outside, Devon gets the upper hand and beats Park into a bloody mess. Abyss’ music hits, and Devon jumps back in the ring, ready to face him. When Abyss doesn’t come out, Devon decides to go look for him. Devon spends the whole show checking for Abyss backstage w/another A&E member I don’t know. Eventually Abyss catches up with them and leaves them both laid out, saying he’s taking the title into the Abyss.
Ummm… Isn’t Joseph Park supposed to be Abyss? I thought it was a “split personality” gimmick. Is everyone supposed to go along with the idea of them being two people?
Side Note: To my knowledge, this is the most success anyone in TNA has had against “Aces & Eights.”
Former MMA star and failed Mr. T impersonator “Rampage” Jackson made his TNA debut tonight. He came out to the ring saying he wanted to face the best in TNA. Kurt Angle came out to accommodate him. This ended with some heated words, but without incident.
So we’re setting up an untrained rookie to fight a guy in his 40’s with a history of neck injuries?
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Mickey James is working Eve Torres’ old “two-face” gimmick. We had a segment of her apologizing to Velvet Sky for standing around like a deer in headlights when Gail Kim jumped her last week, and totally blowing off her challenge for a title match. She did work in a plug for the Lottery game that has her and Gail Kim as “mascots,” so that was nice.
This specific episode should thank its lucky stars that the past ten years of Impact have sucked so badly, because they make this episode look so much better by comparison. Compared to a good wrestling show however, it’s still lacking. The show wound up being all about the Hogan-Brooke-Bully Ray triangle while the few people I might’ve cared about were regulated to filler matches. I’ll give the show a C minus because it at least kept the pace moving along, and most of the stuff on the show did actually lead somewhere, but so far I am NOT impressed.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I92E-Cpwgh0&feature=player_detailpage[/youtube]After the recap, we jump right into Bully Ray shilling his new twitter account, @Realbully5150. He calls out Joseph Park and accepts his challenge for next week’s impact. All this will be a Anything Goes match except that Ray has a restraining order against Abyss who if he even shows up will be sent to rot in prison. Park is dumbfounded until he’s cheap shoted.
A Double and “H Double” discuss Aries giving up the belt at the end of the night. Which leads us right into a Destination X promo, which is embedded above.
Jason Hervey (Wonder Years for those in the know) attempts to interview Dixie Carter who is more than happy to talk about the New X-Division talent but not eager to talk about Claire Lynch. Talking of that new prospective X-Division talent err.. oh wait
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We open the show on a Ultimate X match Aries vs Sabin vs Ion, sitting at home watching Chris Sabin back in his element was a welcome reprieve that was until Sabin tore is other ACL putting him back on the shelf. Aries retains with Hogan coming out to praise Aries before telling him that he would have to vacate the title to have a match against Bobby Roode at Destination X.
Bye Bye X division.
The push of Hernandez continues with a match against the television champion Devon. Its short and Hernandez really only botched one spot before being put down by Devon. Keep the belts away from Hernandez, Robbie E etc.
The bound for glory series featured the return our yours and my Pope D’angelo Dinero makes his return.
Pope be pimpin’ yes indeed.
And then James Storm came in and cleaned house and won. First Crimson and now 20 points in the BFG series. Go Cowboy!
New Knockout Champion Gail Kim Ms Tessmacher took on Madison “In love with who?” Rayne. I hear crickets but I digress. She (being Tessmacher) wins. This is where we need some more knockouts to make the surroundings look better, I’ve seen Madison Rayne too much.
[This post used to contain a picture of a topless Madison Rayne, her breasts covered only by her hands. Google made us take it down to comply with AdSense policy. Do they have ANY idea what kind of content their ads are on with the BoredWrestlingFan Radio podcast?]
Sunday Night saw the victoy of the “Asshole’ Ken Anderson over Hardy and RVD. I waited to see where this story would go since Hardy and RVD had storylines with Roode where as Anderson had a one off match from a couple of months ago.
This was a good match where Roode went over Anderson using the crossface and could possibly set up a any number of scenarios for Anderson afterwards. Or with Anderson tapping out will just close a door on that stretch for Roode who has been dealing with Hardy, RVD and Anderson for some time now and leave him clear for Austin Aries to feud with him over the remaining summer until Storm gets to him.
Questions I have are what will become of the X-division once Aries leaves? No Sabin, Sorenson or Nese. But we have Xema Ion and Mark Haskins? Need some new blood.
Until next week, PNTNR out!!!!
Well sorry to disappoint. But tonight there is no G, only the temp Pintnoir.
Let us delve in.
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The news has been hitting the fan for weeks and now it was finally confirmed on May 12th. TNA is now Impact Wrestling. Watching the event unfold before my eyes as The Network, Mick Foley proclaimed “Impact is wrestling” telling Hogan and his cohorts that the politics have ended. I smiled as I thought of a happier time in TNA history. The year was 2006, as I was streaming through all the on demand selections skimming the porn and sport selections, I was stopped in my tracks by a wrestling event called TNA: No Surrender. What could this be? And better yet how much would this cost?
Well folks for $24.99, I watched a company impress. Jackass antics aside TNA gave me some intriguing matches. LAX w/ Konnan vs AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels, Senshi vs Chris Sabin and the wrestler who left a impressive mark…Eric Young. Wearing his white tights with a censorship bar over the word “Fire”. It would continue to impress next month when I watched Bound for Glory. Eric Young was there so was Daniels/AJ, LAX and the match of the night Chris Sabin vs Senshi. A four star match that left both men forever immortalized in my brain.
I became a fanatic. I bought “The Best of the X Division” 2 pack, watched TNA Impact on Spike, where Christian was speared through a steel cage by Rhyno. Mouth dropped as I watched the end of a feud that left Christian victorious albeit Rhyno was avenged. Then after a year I went away every once in a while I’d stop in to see how the program was progressing. And then 2010 happened and I see Hogan on my screen in a four sided ring telling the audience that big changes are about to unfold. I was unimpressed. All I saw was old dudes (ea friends of Hogan collecting a paycheck) I lost faith and didn’t look back for about six months or so. When I returned all was the same except some of the old dudes remained. Namely Hogan and a Silver haired Bischoff. Now TNA had become WCW: 2010 with endless promos to open the show followed by two minute matches then right behind that would be more promos and another five minute match. The endless cycle was monotonous. That is also when I became a devotee to the Internet Wrestling Community. Reading how much folks would argue with one another over what was the definition of TNA or how whether or not the veterans were either hurting or bettering the product was astonishing. I didn’t know how to respond, depending on what site you’re on it could be the difference from being called a troll or mark. People attitudes were as intense as the old comic book argument of who was faster Superman or the Flash.
Now here we are in May, TNA has decided to push wrestling over promos. What went through my head was all the talent that are on the roster and all the epic matches and smaller lead ins using the reaction cam could bring to the overall product. Taking the best of 2002-2009 and mixing it with what was decent or innovative about 2010-2011(so far).
Here’s where my wrestling theory kicks in.
After Sacrifice and Slammiversary, iMPACT Wrestling should start building up the future while deconstructing the past year and change. First should come the end of Immortal. Not right away but with Hogan’s power null in void we can watch as the group slowly implodes. Leading to either Hogan or Flair taking on Impact caretaker Sting. In a loser leaves Impact Wrestling at Bound for Glory.
That is the end result of Bischoff/ Hogan regime, but before that in the three months leading up to that landmark moment we should see the X division wrestlers get their revenge on Bischoff. July 10th is Destination X. We should see the division rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Led in part by Max Buck and Brian Kendrick, who documented performance in the ring and outside of it has shown that they could definitely steer the course of the next generation of talent. This of course could allow Kaz to get back into heel territory were he does his best work.
Kaz as a man surrounded, relentlessly holding on to the X gold . Kendrick, The Bucks, Sangrieto and Suicide all jockeying for his title. By giving these characters personalities the fans will care. Bring in Traci Brooks as his right hand woman snagging him victories against them. Use the Reaction Cam in short (and by short i mean two to three minutes) explaining their reasons for participating in the X division using each wrestlers personality to showcase how they differ from each other. This would add to the importance of the belt. More could be added with the World X Cup. More on that on another article. This of course is a small sample of the thoughts running through my mind. But then it jumped to Orlando Jordan.
Orlando Jordan. Yes, that Orlando Jordan. When he first debuted he represented someone different than the stereotypical “black” wrestler, he wasn’t a gang banger,pimp or extremist militant. He was instead a bi-sexual male who wanted to wrestler and be accepted by his peers. At first he was entertaining and then became a joke of epic proportions. With his brain damaged partner/lover? Eric Young he has become one half of a dreaded jobber team. There for simple entertainment. Nothing much else. I’m more offended by this then by John Cena’s playful middle school comments. Here is someone who came in with an original idea for a wrestler and has been given squat. Instead what they should do is put him in singles territory with a female valet. What has So Cal Val been up to in the past two plus years? Secondly have Bully Ray make Orlando Jordan’s life miserable which leads to a feud for acceptance. The simplest promoter could conceive this.
And then it touched on Eric Young. Again. Here is a man who when presented with a gimmick he takes it and runs with it. No matter how asinine. He is a good little soldier and follows orders. But where has that positioned him? Earlier in 2009-2010 he was being pushed as a leader. A heel leader in charge of World Elite. You couldn’t help but think of a man who would of brought great feuds to the forefront. Especially against former tag partner Robert Roode. Then he fell off the turnbuckle onto the floor below and now we have “Idiot Savant” Eric Young. The dream had been crushed. Where can he go from here? Simple. Last Thursday, Eric Young stole Gunner’s Television title. I could see a swift kick in the head would straighten Eric out to fight for the former Global title. Maybe even a three way between him, Gunner and Daniels. The thoughts ceased for a bit.
What was presented was this somewhat garbled article that I hope to continue in a serial format. Giving you sneak peeks into my brain in regards to the Television, tag team and World title picture. Even the Knockouts brought something to mind. But for now I better slow down before I have a novella on my hands.
Part 2 should be on its way soon.
On behalf of everyone here at Bored Wrestling Fan, very happy birthday wishes go out to Chris Sabin. (more…)
It’s more of a list, really.