I still remember when I decided I wanted to support indy wrestling and sent a message to my buddy and told me about this new place he had started working. I remember how small and “work-in-progress” this company was. But they concentrated on their strengths: great characters and storylines that kept you coming back. Tonight they had Funaki. Like, THE Funaki. Smackdown Announcer #1. Indeed. That Funaki.
They opened it up with Funaki coming out to speak to the fans. He was interrupted by the Asian Nation who invited him to become a junior member. Good stuff. And of course it went into fisticuffs. I think everybody was involved except for Kate.
First match: Barrett Brown vs. Kristopher Haiden
I of course would like to congratulate Barrett on his recent graduation from high school. This kid is already one of Texas’ best and he JUST NOW graduated high school. Barrett has improved a lot over the past year. He’s adding more and more different kinds of offense into his matches. If you have never seen this guy wrestle before, go look him up on Youtube. Haiden does a great job being the bully. When it comes to being the bully, I think he’s the best in MPX and one of the best probably in Texas. He gave Barrett a clothesline from Hell and got the pin.
Winner: Haiden
Haiden asked to be announced as “The Cruiserweight Slayer.” I like Cruiserweight Crusher better. It’s alliteration. We had angry Headbanger come out because he didn’t have a match. He wanted an opponent. He was given Frankie Fisher AND Jason Silver. I liked angry Headbanger. These past few months, he has gotten to show off his range.
Second match: Tad Wylde vs. Regrub & Matt Andrews w/The Following
Masked Guy (I still haven’t figured out what his stage name is.) is looking a little skinnier. The classiest thing all night was when Tad Wylde thanked the military. What I thought could have added a nice dimension was asking all the military people to stand, but no biggie. They can do that in November. What Choice lacks in size, he makes up for in personality and commitment. He is a good storyteller and somebody you want to get over your story. Tad Wylde is a pretty good tag team. They work well and did some cool double-team moves. Ben played the face in peril very well. One of the biggest moves of the night was Tadlock doing a plancha. For those unfamiliar with Tadlock, that’s like Rhino doing a plancha. Good, fun match with Tad Wylde getting the victory.
Winner: Tad Wylde
I like how they are building up Tad Wylde.
Third match: Scott Murdoch vs. Danny Saint
I like both these guys and they were quite entertaining in this match. I’m going to love a Saint-Murdoch feud. The fans win. The chests of Saint and Murdoch do not. These guys were brutal (in a good way). I wrote down I was really happy to not be either. I also wrote down one word at one point, “Wow.” These guys really laid it on the line. I watched a DGUSA DVD yesterday that had some of the best in-ring work I’d ever seen. This was not that type of match yet still kept just as engaged in it. It was still just as intense and emotional and brutal.
Winner: Double Countout
Can we already name this MPX Feud of the Year? Kyle Davis interviewed Kanoa. “I’m going to beat people. Who’s next in line?” Not a lot of depth to it, but we’ll see where he goes from here.
Fourth match: Bling & Sting vs. Asian Nation
It was nice to see tag team wrestling that meant something. $Payday$ had a great plancha. He’s becoming more smooth and more fluid. There was good comedy. WASP & “Just” Johnson both do comedy really well. I wonder if Nigel might be a little wasted on this tag team. I think James is really good on the mic and doesn’t need any help. I do think Nigel works as an “outside-the-ring” presence. But then again, I’m not sure where you use Nigel if not with the Asian Nation. Anything that keeps Nigel in front of the crowd works for me. I wrote down that it was a fun match with lots of intricate stories. Kenny Steele walked out and stole $Payday$’s belt. $Payday$ went to tag in WASP while he was still recovering after being in the ring for a while. $Payday$ went after him. The two-on-one advantage proved to be too much for WASP.
Winner: Asian Nation
Well, with Tad Wylde, The Following, Asian Nation, Bling & Sting, a possible Cash & Carry return, Dunnings & Red, I believe, MPX, you have a tag team division.
Fifth match: Joshua City vs. Jerome Daniels
This was Joshua’s debut match so he gets “First Match Immunity.” However, I don’t know if it’s Jerome, but this was actually a pretty good match. Joshua has a lot of personality and kind of understands that it’s due-paying time. As I have learned, it’s not easy cutting your first promo. It takes something to listen to the crowd and be reacted to. I’ve seen a few debuts in MPX. Some I wish I could unsee. This is probably the best debut I’ve seen at MPX.
Winner: Jerome
Jerome is supposed to be built-up to be fighting the big match against Frankie and took a little longer than he should have to beat Joshua City, making his MPX debut. James Hawke came out after the match saying that the people were supposed to love him were booing him now. He listened to the crowd and followed them where they took him. This is the John Cena heel turn we’ve all been waiting for.
Sixth match: Nobe Bryant vs. Kanoa
I’ve had the chance to see Nobe since back in the day. The man is a great athlete and has an amazing look. Kanoa has a good arrogance to him. Both guys are really good athletes and had some good agility for their size. Nobe tried to keep the crowd engaged (which sometimes really needs to happen with this crowd). And with respect to Murdoch and Saint, Nobe won for chop of the night. I wrote down that it was a good, decent match. Kanoa won unexpectedly.
Winner: Kanoa
Looks like they are giving Kanoa a nice push. I’m intrigued to see what he has for us.
Seventh match: Frankie Fisher (c) vs. Gregory James vs. Jason Silver
Well, who wouldn’t want to see James-Silver? I wrote down that I liked the beginning. Frankie is a good smarmy heel. There were some good dynamics. You had James and Silver who are friends but Frankie used that to his advantage. The action was very fast-paced. I was surprisingly able to keep up with most of it. Greg is becoming quite the storyteller. Storyteller + Agility = ∞ limits. Frankie submitted Jason Silver while Greg was outside the ring.
Winner: Fisher
This is definitely the strongest I have seen Frankie looked. He looked like a credible champion.
Main Event: Carrion Arcane w/The Following vs. Sho Funaki
I’m going to try to see how many times I can fit the word “Indeed” into this match. Seriously, it was fun. We had Funaki live before our crowd. Arcane got in a lot of offense. Funaki did what he did best and one of the reasons he was kept around in the WWE for so long. He sold. The match was very well laid out. After a good night of wrestling, we got to see Funaki get a pin out of nowhere.
Winner: Funaki
All in all… The night was pretty decent. The crowd was packed and lively. Some people were worried about it being BYOB for the first time. As Arcane said, “We have a Murdoch.” They left us with some nice questions. That is what a wrestling company needs to be, especially with a lot of people who normally wouldn’t be there. Special props need to go out to Daniel and Anthony the refs. These guys were active and engaged in hot weather doing a very athletic activity for several matches. Joshua had a nice debut. Murdoch and Saint tore down the house. Frankie looked like a real legitimate champion. And I do believe we have the development of a tag team division.
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We open on a video of Eric Appreciation night and how the faces dumped him into a port-a-pottie leaving him covered in Shite.
Flair stands in the ring and gives us that rousing title line. I couldn’t help but crack up laughing when that was said then after calling out Hogan added this line after being asked to be a judge on GutCheck, “I love hangin around the kids” Gotta love Flair when he says those lines.
Knockout title match with Gail and Madison vs Brooke and Velvet, and I have to admit that Velvet is putting forth effort. ONLY one clothesline so far. I lied there was one more. Brooke Tessmacher who is still amazing me with her advancements beats Gail with her own move.
RVD comes out to brag about who he is…I fast forward. Then I see The two Robs in a match against Devon again no less. I fast forward.
Well while watching wrestling I must have picked up on a American Idol feed, The Gut Check Challenge judges Flair, Bruce Pritchard, and oh my god Al Snow who is doing more than breaking up fights with D’lo argue over Alex Silva who is vying for a TNA contract. Reality TV in wrestling I haven’t seen that since well the 90’s.
Hogan gasses up Anderson by making his match with Roode a NO DQ. Because you know he’s Hogan and he’s impartial while giving it to the heels this time.
Jeff and RVD have a match and I really don’t care. Fast Forward. Note: Why don’t I care? well lets see both wrestlers could cut a promo if there life depended on it. And secondly they both have a predetermined set of move that they perform in a perticular sequence that just looks stale after awhile. So NO.
RVD wins. there. Jeremy Borash is talking about his hatred for Eric then Bully Ray steps out to you know bully Borash.
Austin Aries comes out to not save Borash but to get in Ray’s face. A good segment where Ray gets in his cheap shot.
Six man tag, Daniels/Kazarian/Angle vs Styles/Magnus/Joe where they tease the reveal of the evidence on AJ. But you’ll have to wait till next week. Good Match with the faces going over.
We have the results of the Gut Check Challenge and like a bad American Idol parody we find out that Alex Silva is getting a TNA contract.
Roode and Anderson match up and I actually care about this bout. Intense and just when Roode is going to put away Anderson, Hardy comes out only to get mic checked by Anderson who in turn gets blasted with the chair leading to a fisherman buster for the win.
Besides some painful spots TNA wasn’t that bad this week. Can’t wait for the AJ reveal.
We see Immortal tell Gunner not to come back to the Impact Zone. We then cut to clips hyping the “little engine” Garett train and matches as he talks of his perserverance. Wonder Years interview reiterates this fact. This of course leads to a Eric Bischoff promo in the middle of the ring talking of his sadness that after Flair’s warning, Garett continues to pursue his passion. He makes a match, a tag team match between Gunner w/ partner vs Garett and a partner of his choosing.
“Surprisingly” Kurt Angle comes down and cuts a promo on Garett about listening to his father and how he listened to his father and he became an olympic gold medalist. Garett looks on backstage with disgust.
Sting is in the bathroom talking to himself in the mirror. EY walks up on him as Sting’s cracking up. Asks to do something special for ODB, Sting after finally getting Roode’s name and Eric’s separate decides to treat ODB to a Knockouts Tag team title match. EY walks away baffled.
Knockout Tag Team Title match: Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs ODB/EY- Match starts with EY and Gail in the ring and when EY won’t hit Gail, ODB tags herself in. ODB does most of the heavy lifting throughout the match. Rayne and Gail trade tags after getting the upper hand on ODB. What happens next is a comedy of weird lewd situations. EY’s in the match and immediately grapples with Earl Hebner (ref) placing him in the corner. Gail runs up from behind only to hit the turn buckle. Eric props up Gail only to have Madison run at slam face first into Kim’s crotch. He sets them up for double airplane spins and attempts to pin Gail only to have Madison kick him. The girls getting the upper hand try to clothesline EY over the top rope only to run into ODB, who takes Madison with her outside. After Madison reverses a toss into the ring steps she grabs one of the belts and goes back in and hits EY with the belt. Eric lands on Gail in the missionary position with Earl counting the three making ODB and EY the new Knockout Tag Team champs.
After the match EY proposes to ODB who reverses the question and Eric says “yes!” To the roar of the crowd.
A man by the name of Joseph Parks talks with a sercurity guard about talking to iMPACT officials, Bully Ray cuts a promo on Storm backstage . And Austin Aries gets some disturbing news. Sting emailed him about taking on Zema Ion tonight. Aries goes on his internet smark routine about throwing hard earned money down the toilet by showing the X division title match on free television.
X Division Title Match: What can I say but this is a good match performed by superior athletes who aren’t given enough to do beats the Garett Bischoff saga by a mile. And then it ends when Austin Aries ducks hair spray to the face, turning the tables and spraying Ion in the face to get disqualified. Zema Ion wins so we still have the Victory Road PPV match. Take that Internet Smarks?!
We see Mary Sue, I mean Velvet Sky getting her hair did, when the mysterious Joseph Parks walks past questioning her. He asks about his brother Chris Parks better known as Abyss who’s been missing for some months. Velvet having no clue and surprised Abyss had a brother can’t help help Joseph. We get a jump cut to Bully Ray.
He wants a title shot since he has taken out James Storm. Calls out Sting to make the match. Sting who has paint coating his fingers, comes down. Sting won’t allow the match with causes Ray to demand a match for the world title. Sting gives Ray a shot at Bobby Roode. But. It will be after the break.
World Title Match: Bully Ray vs Bobby Roode (C) Roode has an argument with Sting in the back about defending the title, which Sting says “Who’s says its for the World Title?” prompting Bobby to head to the ring. Roode tries to talk down Ray who wants none of it and wants to fight. After calling Roode a punk the match starts to pick up steam. Ray and Roode trade blows with Bobby at one point bitch slapping the bully. Soon Roode gets the upper hand beating down Ray and taunting him with the trademark Ray horns. Eventually leading to Ray to power slap Bobby until he picks up momentum hitting rights and lefts and back body dropping the champ. Setting him him for the Bully bottom getting the two. Roode getting desparate goes for a spear and heads out of the ring to grab Rays wallet chain. He charges the Bully who meets him with a big boot. And just when Ray’s had enough he grabs his chain and is ready to beat Roode with it when out of the crowd comes James Storm , chasing off Ray. This all before he super kicks Roode and leaves him draped with the title unconscious.
Garett Bischoff is talking to Wonder Years Jason Hervey about being confident about tonight but won’t divulge who his partner is.
Crimson and Morgan are getting ready in the locker room when Joseph Park walks back asking about Abyss. Asks if they can point him in the right direction. Of course no one watches their own product and points them toward Ray but whatever. The slow heel turn of Crimson is still brewing as I assume creative really doesn’t have anyone to take on Joe/Morgan. Well besides Morgan/Crimson. They take on Robbie T and Robbie E for a #1’s contender’s match. Which is next.
Robbie T comes out looking uncomfortable with a pink and white striped sweater. Escorting slash accompanying Robbie E to the ring. Crimson and Morgan come out to a more comfortable attire ready to go to war. Robbie E comes in first to take a beating at the hands of Crimson as he goofs to the crowd. Realizing he can’t hand E tags in Robbie T who takes it to Crimson. Crimson starts to fight back as he reverses a choke slam, he heads back to charge T but E smacks him with the trademark clip board to the back. Allowing Robbie T to tag in Little Robbie for a double team maneuver. The talk of the undefeated streak is brought up as Robbie E flies from the top rope with a fist. He gets a one count. Then its Robbie E’s turn to get a chance at the streak as he takes a beating to Crimson finishing up with a front slam for two. Rob Terry soon breaks out in a pose down which back fires when Crimson slams him to the canvas. Both men are down as there tag partners anxiously wait on the apron. Each tags his respective partner leading to Morgan cleaning house. Morgan stacks up the challengers in the corner and splashes them. Matt clothesline Terry outside the ring and Carbon Footprints Robbie E leading to Crimson to tag himself in and pin Robbie for the win. Morgan is visibly upset.
AJ is talking about the ongoing feud with him and the rest of Fortune. Gunner cuts a promo with Kurt bragging about Olympic gold medalist.
AJ comes out and talks of the importance of the 10th anniversary of Impact Wrestling. And all the allies and enemies he made. Speaking of enemies Daniels and Kaz come to the ring. After a lengthy back and forth about friendship and how AJ is to blame for his friendlessness, Styles decides to only associate with — Assholes as Mr. Anderson makes his return. Together they beat on the heels.
Garett Bischoff heads to the back to talk to his tag team partner. Advertisement for Fan interaction at TNA.
Main Event time, Kurt and Gunner head down to the ring. Garett heads down followed by—Jeff Hardy wearing one of the most disturbing makeup he can find. Painting veins and eyes on your eyelids makes Sting’s make up look tame in comparison. The match gets under way when Gunner and Angle charge the faces from behind, tossing Bisch Jr. outside the ring and double teaming Jeff Hardy. Jeff is taking most of the beat down as the heels tag in and out. Garett wants pacing on the apron. Finally Hardy gets the hot tag, Garett comes in and clothesline’s Angle and then smacks Gunner off the apron. Garett is on fire as he goes to work on Angle and drop kicks Gunner off the apron again. Even hitting a neckbreaker variation on Angle. Soon the heels get the upper hand as they double team Garett, as the heels throw Garett into the ropes Jeff tags himself in. Garett hits a double clothesline allowing Hardy to hit the swanton bomb on Angle for the win.
What we have now in light of Russo’s release is a more focused show with as Eric Bischoff said has story that is planed way more in advance. Tonight wasn’t too bad and it seems Garett is getting a bigger push than ever so we’ll see coming to Lockdown.
This was my first time to watch an AIW show. I started out being very intrigued by all the promos at the beginning. I know some of the wrestlers, but I am not familiar with their characters. This gave me a brief overview. What it reminded me of was the UFC product. Fighter #1 doing an interesting soundbite followed by fighter #2 doing the same. It’s a formula that works. I don’t need the WWE 5-minute video package I just watched last Monday on Raw. Just give me brief promos so I can know I need to care about these wrestlers.
First match: 6 Pack Scramble: Sugar Dunkerston VS. Sabbath VS. AERO! VS. Kobald VS. Maximo Suave VS. Low Rider
I know who Sugar Dunkerton is from his Twitter presence, so I was excited to see him wrestle. Sabbath had no crowd reaction, but had a different look. Suave looked like a died-black-hair Amazing Red. AERO! looks like a skinny white guy wearing a mask. Low Rider looks like a low-rent Perros del Mal wannabe (I did not find his name listed as a Perro del Mal). And Kobald looks like a bad Mortal Kombat character. I was impressed by how Sabbath used his power and the other wrestlers sold it. Sugar Dunkerton did a clothesline that would have impressed Stan Hansen. And Low Rider did a powerslam type move into the turnbuckles I’ve never seen before. Random painted people attacked somebody and Kobald got the win.
Winner: Kobald
Second match: BJ Whitmer VS. Eddie Kingston
This was my first Eddie Kingston match. I’ve followed Whitmer for about 10 years, going back to his IWA-Mid South days. I’m a little cautious about “the first time they’ve ever met” fights because they can be clusters because the guys have no chemistry together. It looked like there was a feeling out period and they let the drama slowly build. They told a story of Whitmer working over Kingston’s leg and Kingston trying to overcome. It got a “This is Awesome” chant. This was a GREAT match that really had the crowd going.
Winner: Whitmer
Whitmer and Kingston had a nice exchange and the crowd received it well.
Third Match: Chad “The Chad” Williams w/Chest Flexor VS. Tursus
There is a guy named Chest Flexor who must have a faction somewhere. The Chad looks like Randy Orton without the tattoos. The crowd chanted “Randy Rip-off” but I really didn’t think he was a rip-off; he just looked like Randy Orton. This is my first time to see Tursus after hearing so much about him, so I was very impressed with him. I’m surprised the WWE has not brought him in yet.
Winner: Chad by DQ
Fourth match: Team Duke VS. Team Dalton
I have no idea who these people are. Dalton Castle has a Puerto Rican faction as his partners. This RBI guy is named Bonds. I couldn’t figure out who I was supposed to cheer for. This reminded me a lot of a Ring of Honor 8-guy match from their early days. Dasher Hatfield was one of the major workers to stand out to me. Ben Fruith was another worker who stood out to me. He looks like he needs to eat, but man, can this guy sell. I was impressed that Izeah Bonds did a standing moonsault. It told a nice story.
Winner: Team Duke
Fifth match: Marion Fontaine VS. Shiima Xion VS. Chuck Taylor
I’ve tried watching some Xion matches on Youtube and stuff before. (I don’t currently watch the TNA/Impact! product.) Fontaine looks like he needs to eat. Xion has all the makings of a star, except for the awful tights. Chuck Taylor interfered in this match and made it into a 3-Way Dance. It just went way too short. I found myself more impressed by Fontaine with his in-ring action.
Winner: Fontaine
Sixth match: Josh Prohibition VS. Gregory Iron
I still have a deep-seated hatred of Josh Prohibition that goes back to him leaving CZW to start wrestling for XPW during the days of the PA Indy Wars. And holy s***, Greg Iron. He is everything Zach Gowen tried to be. He overcomes a huge disability, but he is still believable when he wins in the ring. The two had an unbelievable Street Fight. I knew about Iron from him the night CM Punk about how awesome he was. Regardless of how I felt about Prohibition, he and Gregory Iron were incredible in the ring together.
Winner: Prohibition
The crowd did a Holy s*** chant and rightfully so. Every Greg Iron match deserves a Holy s*** chant. Forgetting that Iron has cerebral palsy, it was probably one of the best matches I’ve seen all year.
Seventh match: Eric Ryan VS. Bobby Beverly
From this point on, the only wrestler I’ve ever seen before is Sabu, so I promise I will stop saying this is my first time to see this guy. Eric Ryan really impressed me. I think Beverly did a good job of making Ryan look good. Something tells me he’ll get over in the future. Eric Ryan wrestled with a lot of passion and definitely got my attention. You can’t book or train for that.
Winner: Ryan
The Olsen Twins VS. The Irish Airborne VS. AEROFORM
(Ok, so I’ve seen Colin Delaney before, but I really wasn’t into the WWECW product that much at the time.) The six worked really well together. I have no idea what I watched here because it was so fast-paced. Irish Airborne & AEROFORM are tag teams that could walk into Impact or AAA/CMLL and be successful. There was just so much going on it was hard to comprehend this match.
Winner: Irish Airborne
This was everything we wanted it to be. Six amazing athletes just doing their thing.
Ninth match: Sabu VS. Facade in a Falls Count Anywhere Match
I was curious why there were was a Street Fight and Falls Count Anywhere Match on the same card. On thing I have to give AIW credit for is distinct-looking wrestlers. It’s not like watching NXT where you see nothing different than the other 10 guys. Facade looks different. He has a distinct look and it differentiates him from “Joe Indy Wrestler.” And of course I worship Sabu and pray to him every night before I go to bed. I am intrigued by how Sabu reinvented himself. As he wasn’t able to keep up in the ring as much, he started using a toolbox like his late uncle (The Shiek) used to do. It added some longevity to his career.
Winner: Sabu
This booking made absolutely no sense by having Sabu go over, but Facade bled. Prohibition/Iron was more of a wild brawl, but the image of Facade wearing the crimson mask was pretty good.
Tenth match: Rickey Shane Page VS. Vincent Nothing
The video package was well-done. I still had no idea about anything, but it looked to be very emotional. Nothing has a really good look. Page is way too young-looking, but I get what they’re trying to do. The commentating was pretty awful. The play-by-play guy was fine, but the color commentator bordered on stupid. Heel does not equal stupid. I loved Nothing’s in-ring style. I love me some MMA, so a fighter who incorporates some of his moves into wrestling makes me pop. Plus, an MMA fighter could be a huge heel. This had a “big match” feel. There were light tubes. That is all you need to know to grasp how intense this fight was. It got a “Match of the Year” chant during the match.
Winner: Page
Wow. I think I missed a lot of the emotion which was probably like tuning in during a Season Finale. WWE, Impact, this is how you put a guy over. Right now, I believe Page could main event this company. I’m still going with Iron/Prohibition for Match of the Night, but Page gets my MVP. There was total commitment and it was kind of like a “coming of age” match.
Main Event: Johnny Gargano VS. Tim Donst
Donst is ridiculously over with this crowd. Donst is great when it comes to mat wrestling. I haven’t seen much in the way of a distinct look or personality to Donst, but he is super-over with this crowd and reminds me of Dean Malenko in-ring. Gargano had a RED chest. Gargano has a good look and I could see him in Impact before too long. The commentary deteriorated to Mark Madden levels. I can’t describe all the highlights of this match. All I know is that Tim Donst is one of my favorite new indy guys.
Winner: Gargano
What a match. As they were signing off, Chest Flexor’s music hit and Shiima Xion started fighting Gargano and the match started.
Real Main Event: Gargano vs. Xion
This went on until Chest Flexor interfered, the referee turned heel and Xion won the belt.
Winner: Xion
So yes, I am in love with my new favorite non-Texas wrestling promotion. I cannot decide match of the night. Iron/Prohibition, Page/Nothing, Donst/Gargano would all be Match of the Year candidates with any promotion. This is a company I will put my money behind. It’s hard to find a certain name that stood out to me the most. Now that I have been introduced, it’s time to start following the stories that are to be told here.
No disrespect to the fans with the title. I’m a fan myself but this show with all this innuendo of changes lacked any. The ring and outside arena still had TNA posted everywhere with a hue of blue and added rows of seats which another reviewer on TNAsylum pointed out. Was that the change? I doubt it. But here’s to Thursday on finding out. Well lets get into what TNA Impact Wrestling is all about. Impact Wrestling presents Sacrifice.
Mexican America vs Ink Inc.
I wasn’t expecting much from this match. I mean Anarquia has shown a total disregard to impress and Hernandez just doesn’t seem to care anymore. But then you have Jesse Neal and his infectious energy makes me smile. Oh and Shannon Moore and his book make me shake my head. But then seeing as how Moore had one of the best spots of the evening. Sailing off the ring onto Hernandez with a moonsault. The match was sub par besides with predictable interference by Rosita and Sarita. And a botched over the top rope clothesline by Moore on Anarquia. Shockingly due to a miscommunication involving Moore attempting to hit Rosita and Neal objecting. Hernandez was able to hit his modified border toss on Neal giving the win to Mex America. Why was I shocked? Ink Inc is the number one contender for the tag titles leading into Slammiversary. I’m adamant that Christina Von Eerie should be there as well but that is probably wishful thinking. So naturally, Ink Inc getting the win would make them look strong going in. But we still have 3 weeks to make amends.
Hopefully with it now being iMPACT Wrestling we can stop having Promos in our PPV’s. We get one here as Jeff and Karen come out to announce that they can not compete in the mixed tag match. Foley comes out again the announcement “wrestling matters” is uttered. He tells the Jarretts that the next time they bring X rays make sure it doesn’t belong to a 6’6 African American male. Karen shrieks throws off boot in a temper tantrum leading to Mick exiting. Match on. The crowd is amp to have Chyna.
Brian Kendrick…shoots a promo on the X Division. I wish I knew what he was saying since he is all mystical and what not. All I caught was the word molested. I don’t now in what context. But it was said. To sum up he just promises to show how important the X division is.
Brian Kendrick vs Robbie E w/ Cookie.
Robbie comes out as Cookie walks out messing with he phone/camera? Anyway the crowd seems to be nonchalant. Mr. Gym Tan Wrestling, fist pumps for Cookie while she takes a picture. Again the crowd could care less. Kendrick steps out in his white robe to a good crowd pop. Kendrick 1, Robbie 0. Once in he puts on his gimmick meditating dead center in the ring. Cookie, trying to win a screeching contest against Karen shouts that “you’re a freak!” As Robbie holds her back. Exit Cookie. And we have Kendrick alive and booting E in the face. Kendrick 2, Robbie 0. Then the junior banshee interferes. Distracted Robbie takes control beating Kendrick ragged even getting him outside of the ring. Where Cook’s proceeds to choke him with her boot. Robbie setting up for his signature neck-breaker (god forbid I have no idea what’s its called. And I refuse to call it “Rude Awakening” in fear that Rick would haunt me) Reversed. Kendrick beats Rob with a dropkick into a pin. Huh?! I knew he sucked but really. Kendrick acts all crazy holding Earl Hebner’s hand. He even weirds out Rob when he tries to shake his hand. Your winner: Kendrick.
Promo time again folks. But this time its hot cougarish Tara. Trust me I’ve seen this woman without make-up Vickie has nothing on her. Tara’s unhappy with Madison. The bossiness and in general being a lackey. Then Madison appears to remind Tara about how she has a job because of her. Folks I won’t lie when she came on all that kept going through my mind was “Why is she here?” “She should of stayed in a shimmer tag team” and my favorite thought “God, please severe her vocal cords. please I’ll go to church,eventually”. Time for the match.
Mickie James (c) vs Madison Rayne (With Tara’s freedom on the line)
Here comes the Queen Bee (seriously she has a sash with the title) and the gaudiest oversized crown I’ve ever seen. That better be from the dollar general. In full royal mode, the crowd is dead. Canned heat where are you? In the words of another TNA watcher, The Rayne Experiment has failed. No one and I do mean no one cared when she came out. Then Mickie came out. The roof exploded. She could do no wrong. I seriously believe that she could of killed a puppy and folks would still cheer for her. Lets get ready to… Tara’s theme music hits. The crowd breaks into further excitement. Again the Rayne Experiment elicits no response. A faceoff between Rayne and Tara distracts long enough for Mickie to get on the offensive. Tara seems conflicted. Should she hit Mickie. Only a minute in and I’m already sensing an overbook coming on.
To break it down simply this match is a TNA haters dream. Overbooking. check. horrible in ring competitor. check. A last minute reintroduction of the loaded glove. check. Tara makes the save for Mickie after 2!! Ref bumps. Tara finally makes the decision to cold cock Rayne with the loaded glove letting Mickie get the 3count. Crap match over.
Sorry about that but I was a big fan of the Knock out division. In 2009. This was a bad match indeed. But it will get better in the future, right? No. Chances are we will see Velvet Sky vs Mickie for the title. At least she’s over?!
Fortune promo. Line remembered. Kaz- Max Buck you wouldn’t be a star even if thrown by a ninja. Or something to that effect. Other smack talk by Beer Money and AJ. Next.
Max Buck vs Kazarian(c)
Good mat wrestling. (I swore when this was going on someone yelled “boring”) Buck plays the egotistical heel to perfection. Slapping and name calling. Some really cool spots with a over the ropes leg drop. Buck reversed 3 fade to blacks by Kaz. Kaz follows up with a powerbomb to the outside. Buck comes in with a top rope cutter and a 450 degree splash for a two count. Kaz goes old school (shout out to Allison Danger) and beats Buck with a shining wizard. Good. Now if only it was hyped.
Promo. A 6’6 360lb homeless man talks about pain and breaking a undefeated streak. Then I realize that its Abyss. Next up its TNA’s John Cena taking on Crimson.
With Crimson’s imaginary 5 month winning streak on the line (I now I’m being harsh but times have changed from Samoa Joe) he takes on Abyss strong only slowing down when he spears a turnbuckle. After that the Cena of TNA controls the majority of the match. Crimson resumes control with one double clothesline and a seven count. Abyss reverses with a chokeslam. then comes Janice. Crimson spears Abyss, Abyss loses Janice. Crimson goes to the well once too often and is big booted. Abyss pulls out a Vader Bomb from the corner. 2 count. Crimson hits Cena with the Red Sky Powerbomb (D’lo Brown’s Sky High) keeping his streak intact. After some posturing Abyss goes back to lick his wounds. Now please can we have Joe vs Crimson now?
Promo. Its like deja vu. No. Its a vignette. Beer Money vs Hardy/Harris
I’ll keep it short. Harris plays a heel and won’t fight Storm one on one. He’ll only sneak attack. So no big showdown between the two. Which would of made sense. Remember 2006 when the team of AMW split? Storm was the one who attacked Harris. Almost taking out an eye. Leading to that hilarious blindfold match. Well now its Harris’ turn to play heel as he and Matt lose after Beer Money hits Harris with the AMW finisher Death Sentence. Mind Games no avail. Next.
Oh its Bully Ray being interviewed by Jeremy Borash. And he is being a bully threatening to beat on Borash and making lewd comments about AJ’s wife. I hope she isn’t watching. So we will see Ray vs Styles? Nope.
Dreamer vs Styles
Lets keep it real short. Ray interferes in this No DQ bout this sets Styles up for a piledriver on a table. Dreamer wins. Next.
Another vignette. Not complaining as long as its not a promo.
The Jarret’s vs Angle/Chyna
Kurt is an undiscovered comedian. His smirk during the entire match was classic. It brought back memories of the axe wielding incident at the wedding. Chyna is over big time. Fans are chanting for her to kick Karen’s butt. After a good back and forth between Jarret and Angle, Chyna is finally tagged in. The fans erupt. false alarm. Jarret stays in the ring and continues the fight with Kurt. Angle goes for his exploding triple Germans then an Angle slam. 2count. Chyna comes in and body slams then vertical suplexe’s Jarret. Eventually chasing Karen back into the ring Chyna splashes Karen in the corner. Karen dazed is hit with the double under hook DDT. (pedigree for wwe fans). Chyna locks in the ankle lock followed by Kurt on Jarret. Karen taps. Angle/Chyna victorious.
Main Event Vignette.-Then Anderson comes out to blog and commentate.
RVD vs Sting
The match is decent. Rob shows off. Sting pulls out some moves. They fight in the crowd. RVD pulls an impressive cross body onto Sting from the second stands. Sting blocks Rolling Thunder. A Stinger Splash is countered by a spin kick. One botched deathdrop then a rinse and repeat Deathdrop closes the match with the win for Sting. Afterwards Anderson has a stare down with Sting. Slammiversary IX promo
And that is the end of Sacrifice. Wasn’t great but I didn’t pay for it so decent. Here’s hoping for the iMPACT arena changes come Thursday.
Hey! That’s right, something before RAW?! Yeah. I decided at the beginning of the Royal Rumble match to do a real quick rundown of the Royal Rumble. This is not going to be anywhere near as long as the usual RAW Reviews, and it’s not going to be as detailed. The backstage segments may be out of order, but I barely paid attention to them…
Edge vs Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship
So Edge comes out, we’re reminded that he can’t use the Spear or he loses the Championship, and then Vickie comes out, reminds us, and introduces Dolph. The match goes on for a while and was a pretty decent match. I didn’t expect it to be, but it turned out to be. Vickie got on the apron and slapped Edge, but Kelly Kelly, of all fuckin people, came out and took her out. Dolph locked in a sleeper, and during Edge’s wild flailing to get out of it, he slapped the ref, and knocked him down. So, Edge hit a quick Spear when no one was looking (except the whole audience), and then locked in the Killswitch (or the Unprettier) for the win.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.
There’s a small segment backstage with WWE Champion The Miz saying that he’ll win, and Riley backs him up.
The Miz with Alex Riley vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
Randy gets an early advantage, but Riley interferes and Miz gets it. Match was pretty decent, with Riley interfering a good amount, and The Miz about to walk out before Randy stopped that idea with a harsh clothesline. It ended, surprisingly, with Nexus coming out to stand by the ring. Riley came in to try to get Randy, but was thrown out onto Nexus and the ref, and then Punk came up from underneath the ring and hit the Go To Sleep on Orton, and dragged Miz over for the cover.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.
Gail Kim was backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bellas faked an apology and then attacked.
Natalya vs LayCool in a Two-on-One Handicap Match for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Before the match can get started, the RAW GM says that he’s gotten enough emails about Cole being annoying (“That’s just a joke!”), and won’t get more about LayCool, so this is now a Fatal Four Way. NO! IT WASN’T AWESOME KONG’S DEBUT, OR EVEN BETH! IT WAS!!!!!!!
Natalya vs Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Eve Torres for the WWE Diva’s Championship
You read that right. Anyway, the match was alright, kind of, and then Eve pinned Layla as McCool pinned Natalya. However, ref was looking at Eve and Layla.
WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.
Michelle was pissed.
Then, the Royal Rumble match (and there was a thing at some point about how “Dashing” Cody Rhodes had an official statement about his not making it, thanks to Rey’s knee brace breaking his face nose.) started.
ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY
1) CM Punk
I have to stop here. Punk came out, and then the Corre’s music hit, and then the Corre surrounded Punk, and then the New Nexus came in and it was a mini-brawl. Essentially, the RAW GM told them that this was not how the Royal Rumble match was going to start and sent them all (minus Punk) back to the back to wait their turns.
1) CM Punk – John Cena
2) United States Champion Daniel Bryan – David Otunga
3) Justin Gabriel – Daniel Bryan
4) Zack Ryder – Daniel Bryan
5) William Regal – Ted DiBiase
6) Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) – Nexus
7) John Morrison – Nexus
8) Yoshi Tatsu – Mark Henry
9) Husky Harris – The Great Khali
10) Chavo Guerrero – Mark Henry
11) Mark Henry – Nexus
12) JTG – Michael McGuillicutty
13) Michael McGuillicutty – John Cena
14) Chris Masters – Nexus
15) David Otunga – John Cena
16) Tyler Reks – Nexus
17) Vladimir Kozlov – Punk
18) R-Truth – Punk
19) The Great Khali – Mason Ryan
20) Mason Ryan – John Cena
21) Booker T – Mason Ryan
22) John Cena – The Miz
23) Hornswoggle – Sheamus
24) Tyson Kidd – John Cena
25) Heath Slater – John Cena
26) Kofi Kingston – Randy Orton
27) Jack Swagger – Rey Mysterio
28) Sheamus – Randy Orton
29) Rey Mysterio – Wade Barrett
30) Wade Barrett – Randy Orton
31) Dolph Ziggler – The Big Show
32) Diesel – Wade Barrett
33) Drew McIntyre – The Big Show
34) Alex Riley – John Cena
35) The Big Show – Ezekiel Jackson
36) Ezekiel Jackson – Kane
37) Santino Marella – Alberto del Rio
38) Alberto del Rio – WINNER
39) Randy Orton – Alberto del Rio
40) Kane – Rey Mysterio
There were a lot of hijinks in the ring during the match. The Miz ran into the ring, after sitting commentary since Alex Riley entered the Rumble, and eliminated Cena after Cena eliminated Riley. Hornswoggle copied a lot of moves, and a lot of the people lasted longer than they may have seemed to. It wasn’t a hugely, wildly spectacular match, but it was alright.
Originally, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to catch this RAW, due to homework, but I managed to just miss about 18 minutes of it. I’m sure RAW will more than make up. Anyway, basically all that happened during that block I missed was that Cena and Otunga lost the WWE Tag Team Championships to Gabriel and Slater. Awesome.
We come back from the first commercial for a WWE Rewind.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week: United States Daniel Bryan challenges Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler to a Champion vs. Champion match at Bragging Rights.>
Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlin make their way out to the ring. Vickie says that there was a blemish in Smackdown’s perfect night at Bragging Rights, and that Ziggler was cheated by shoddy officiating, and that there was a bias for RAW by the WWE referees. Ziggler is going to embarrass Bryan tonight.
Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan
Before the match even begins, CM Punk comes out.
In the ring, Ziggler gets an advantage over Bryan, and Punk joins them for commentary. Bryan takes the advantage back and gets Ziggler in the ‘surfboard’, and Ziggler manages to get out or Bryan lets him out. Ziggler goes for a cover on Bryan, but Bryan kicks out on two. Ziggler tries to keep advantage, but Bryan takes that away with a dropkick to the face, and Ziggler kicks out of the cover. Ziggler hits a low gut-kick on Bryan and Bryan flips him right out of the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes I love that @CMPunk is about to school King and Cole on announcing. #wwe
@ThingsColeSays CM Punk burying King is AWESOME!!!
@TKeep123 Here come Chuck Norris…err..I mean….Bryan Daniel. #WWE #RAW
We’re back to Bryan and Ziggler back in the ring, and Bryan takes Ziggler out with a hard clothesline. Bryan goes for the cover, but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler looks like he’s begging for mercy, and Bryan ignores him, hitting hard kicks on his abdomen. Bryan misses his first kick, but hits the second one, only for Ziggler to kick out at two. Bryan goes for the LaBell lock, but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Bryan puts Ziggler on the top rope, and hits a hurricanrana off the top, only for Ziggler to flip it into a pin, though Bryan kicks out. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Bryan gets out, and Ziggler hits what could have almost been Sweet Chin Music on Bryan. Bryan kicks out of that cover though, and Vickie screeches about the ref cheating or something. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, misses, Bryan goes for a cover, reverses into Ziggler covering Bryan, and then Bryan kicks out at two. Vickie is still screeching. Ziggler and Bryan trade moves, and then Ziggler throws Bryan, but Bryan kicks out of the cover. Ziggler goes for the sleeper again, but Bryan wonders absently around the ring, but Bryan counters into the LaBell lock, and Vickie pulls Ziggler’s foot outside the bottom rope. The ref takes his submission, Vickie freaks out, and the ref basically says that that’s too bad and keeps his decision the same.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via submission.
Bryan’s enjoying his victory, and Ziggler slips back into the ring, but then flees when Bryan turns around.
Last night, Smackdown beat RAW again. Boo.
Later tonight, John Cena will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton, and the winner decides the special guest referee for their next match (or… Barrett and Orton decide).
<COMMERCIAL>
@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay, Bravo #WWE Good match w/ Punk as a God on commentary
@CawCawBang LMAO! I love CM Punk’s brutal honesty
@TKeep123 Ziggler’s gonna get callouses from tapping so much! #WWE #RAW
The guest star tonight is country megastar, Toby Keith.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: WWE In Your Corner: WWE Wrestlemania Reading Challenge.>
Toby Keith gives a copy of his albums to the Bellas, and they give him a Championship belt. Santino comes up, dressed like a cowboy. He said that when he came to America, it was all pop, and now it’s country and western. He then sings a song of sorts that he wrote. I’ll try to find these lyrics later, alright? It is funny. Toby tells him to keep his night job, and then Sheamus comes up.
Sheamus mocks Santino, of course, and says that Santino embarrassed his team last night, but Sheamus is going to give him an opportunity to prove he’s not worthless. He challenges him TONIGHT! Santino says he’s on. Sheamus then tells Santino he’d better show up. Santino then asks Toby if he thinks Sheamus was ‘for really’.
Cena walks up and yells at Barrett, who calls him out for finding a loophole last night. The only reason Cena’s still employed, is because Barrett is allowing it. If he tells Cena to make a cup of coffee, be silent, or lay down to give up a championship, then he’s gonna do it. Cena says that for the last few weeks he’s been trying to hold onto something he loves, but he can’t do it anymore. Fired, quit, it’s the same damn thing, and it beats working for Barrett. Barrett tells him to hold on, and that he may have a solution. If Cena beats Orton tonight, Barrett will make him an offer that will benefit both of them.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Santino still looks less ridiculous than Toby Keith usually does.
@inkincisions Please. Someone, anyone, get in that ring, and wrestle!
@thinksojoe Best. Country. Song. Ever! #BWF
@TKeep123 Cowboy crooner Santino Morella! Fear The Cobra! #WWE #RAW
@HitTheRopes The Bellas doing what they do best, standing next to the guest star….. Wait, wasn’t there some kinda dysfunction between them? #wwe
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Slam of the Week: LayCool mocks The Harts on Smackdown.>
LayCool vs Melina and Gail Kim
Melina goes straight for McCool, then dominates Layla. Melina goes for a cover on Layla, who kicks out. The two switch each other around, and then Layla knocks Gail off the apron, and they hit each other mid-ring with a cross body. Layla tags in Michelle, but Melina didn’t see it and takes a boot to the face and a cover for the win.
LayCool win via pinfall.
Short ass Diva’s match? Check!
Lawler tells us not to wear a WWE T-shirt when you go to vote next Tuesday.
Miz and Riley make their way to the ring, and Cole says Miz is going to read the Riot Act to the rest of the team.
<COMMERCIAL>
@divadirt Michelle pins Melina after a big boot and it’s all over in 1 minute. Yay(!) [/sarcasm] #WWE
@CawCawBang Does this mean we get to see psycho Miz again?
AWESOME!
Wheeeeeeee, Miz~! I haven’t done it in a while. Just… let me have a moment.
Okay, moment over.
Miz says he’s accomplished more in his career than everyone in this arena can dream of achieving in their entire lives. No matter how superior he is to everyone in the arena or the locker room, he is not a miracle worker. Last night, he endured adversity, overcame hardship, he lasted longer than any Superstar on RAW, but they still failed against Smackdown. If the WWE Superstars had a fraction of the talent that he possessed, the Bragging Rights trophy would be on Monday Night RAW. But his talent doesn’t just speak volumes. It screams ‘AWESOME’. That’s why he’s a leader. That’s why he’s the captain, and that’s why tomorrow, the poster child of THQ’s Smackdown vs RAW 2011 is none other than him. The Miz joins Cena and the Big Show on the cover of the game. Miz says that if they really wanted to make some money, then the cover should have just consisted of him. The RAW team should have just consisted of seven Miz’, instead of one Miz and six losers. If those people understand anything, understand this: he blames his team, he blames Smackdown, he blames Rey Mysterio, and if Rey wants to come over there, he’s putting out the challenge. Step right up over to RAW, next week, he doesn’t care. The reason people watch RAW is because of him. Because he’s the Miz and he’s the only person on the RAW roster that can honestly say that I’M AWESOME!
Eve comes out after his speech and makes her way into the ring, and Miz even holds the ropes apart for her. Miz says that Eve is there to apologize on behalf of all the Divas, but she doesn’t have to. She should, instead, be apologizing for her horrific taste in men, music, and hair extensions that don’t match. She says she didn’t come out to apologize. He needs to be worried about the fact that everyone in the locker room, arena, WWE Universe thinks he’s a… bunch of words here, loser. Miz asks if they all really think he’s a frog-faced loser, and I disagree. :3 Anyway… Miz says that the Packers aren’t going to the SuperBowl, so they’re all losers as well. As for Eve, Miz finds it amusing that the Superstars sent out a Diva to insult him. Eve says that she knows what he’s going to say and he’s quite possibly the furthest thing from awesome she’s ever seen, and he’s ugly. Riley says for her to shut the front door. Riley says that he doesn’t speak Gucci, but the reason the rest of the RAW team isn’t out there is because they’re all tip-toeing their way toward unemployment, and the Miz could have beat any of those slackers by himself. So, why doesn’t Eve take that little switch in her walk back to the back and find out if anyone in the team wants to take a piece out of the captain.
Truth comes out, thus ruining a few nights on Twitter. I wish he’d stop rapping though, I really would… God, I almost miss him screaming ‘What’s Up?’ at me… and yes, Cole, Santino’s singing was better.
Truth says slackers was a bit harsh. Anybody wanna piece of Miz? Truth would like to have a piece of Mr. Kermit. Don’t get mad because what Eve said is the truth, and they all know the truth hurts. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t have a problem showing Miz that the truth hurts. God, this is corny.
“Ding ding ding.”
The Miz vs R-Truth
Miz misses a clothesline, and Truth takes advantage, knocking Miz out of the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@WWEsAngel_Nef Is it just m or is Eve channeling some serious Dixie Carter right now? #WWE
@dasharpshooters: The Miz should Choke that bitch. STFU EVE! #wwe #raw
@StrikerSays For a minute, though, I was REALLY hoping for an intergender match.
@kickoutblog All those pansies in the Raw locker room had to send a woman to trash talk Captain Awesome.
@inkincisions LMFAO. Alex Riley. OMG. This segment has made my night. “OH YOU FANCY HUH!?”
@CawCawBang get back in the kitchen woman
@divadirt Miz says Eve should be sorry for her ‘extensions that don’t quite match’. You got served! #WWE
@TKeep123 I love Eve and she’s a trained dancer, model, cheerleader, etc, but when she dances to Truth’s rap…it’s just sooo bad. #WWE #RAW
Miz has Truth in a headlock as we return, getting momentum back with a big boot to the head. Truth goes for a roll-up, but Miz kicks out at two, and then pummels Truth’s head. Miz goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out. Miz gets advantage again, but Truth fights back, countering in mid-air and going for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz gets Truth in the corner and beats on him until the ref pulls him away. Miz then hits the swinging corner clothesline and goes for a cover again, only for Truth to kick out again. Miz gets him to his feet and then puts him on the top turnbuckle. Miz tries for a suplex, but Truth holds steady and knocks Miz off. Miz runs into Truth’s foot, and Truth jumps over him, hitting some hard hits on Miz before Miz counters with a kick to the gut. Truth then hits a vicious clothesline and keeps his momentum going. Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth slams his elbow into Miz and ducks under a clothesline, hitting some weird move on Miz, and going for a cover. Miz kicks out at two, and Miz is outside on the apron. Truth knocks him right into the announce table. Truth then shoves Miz into the ring, and Riley shoves Truth into the apron. Eve walks over and slaps Riley. In the ring, Miz goes to suplex Truth, but Truth manages to get on his face. Truth then takes Riley out outside the ring, and goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth tries to hit Lie Detector, but Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale.
The Miz wins via pinfall.
Miz blows Eve a kiss after the match, getting some attitude back, of course.
Still to come, Cena takes on Orton.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar That’s R-Truth’s signature move, looking up a the lights, flatback.
Tonight’s guest star is Toby Keith, and he happens to be the special guest referee for the next match. The Bellas need to learn how to dance to country music. Seriously… and get off him, you whores. He’s too important to get herpes from you two.
Honestly… I’m a fan of Toby Keith (born and raised listening to him), but I don’t know what he’s saying, to be honest.
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head…
Sheamus vs Santino Marella
I love Santino. He just poked his head out from behind the lights there. Santino seems reluctant, but Toby Keith works on getting him in the ring. Santino managed to get one quick shot in before Sheamus decided to massacre him for his mistake. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick, and Santino literally just flops onto his butt. John Morrison runs out and tells the ref something, falling on his butt again when Sheamus goes for another Brogue Kick. Sheamus went for another Brogue Kick, but ended up getting his feet all caught up in the ropes, and Santino capitalizes with a pin. He and John Morrison flee up the ring.
Santino Marella wins via miracle pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Toby Keith told Santino that Sheamus is no longer Triple H’s gym buddy.
@TKeep123 Toby Keith can’t keep his eyes open? OH, that’s right, protecting them from the Sheamus glow! #WWE #RAW
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Stand Up For WWE.>
More video packages, less wrestling. Totally makes sense.
Gabriel and Slater take pride in their title win. Otunga, on the other hand, wants to talk to Barrett and looks pretty pissed. Otunga asks why he had to go through that. Barrett says that he’s sorry he feels that way. Otunga says that since he couldn’t win last night, Barrett made him lay down. Otunga says that he may be a little pissed and may decide to tell everyone why they really attacked Taker last night. McGuillicutty and Harris come in wearing Nexus shirts, and Barrett says that they’re members, and while he understands Otunga’s frustrations, Otunga is either Nexus or against us, and he needs to make that choice right now. Otunga glares at them all, and then says he’s Nexus. Barrett says he’s pleased about that and for Otunga to keep up the excellent work. I wonder where they found enough fab- okay, no fat jokes. I’m sorry.
Next up, Cena vs Orton.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar “I was in prison watching the WWE because the inmates used to watch the show to get ideas on how to-” – MVP
@HitTheRopes Hey, Stand Up for WWE ad, I visited China…town! Chinatown, dammit! #wwe
@kickoutblog Okay, Stand Up for WWE is lame, but this promo is pretty damn cool.
@ThingsColeSays OK, I actually like this video package. I know it’s got ulterior motives, but it’s different.
Oh, dear God… Next week, Pee Wee Herman is the guest host… I may avoid RAW next week… He makes me twitchy.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, EVE!
John Cena vs WWE Champion Randy Orton
Cena and Orton part seven million and forty-five starts now! … I love all their matches though, I’ll be honest.
Orton and Cena lock up, Cena getting Orton in a headlock, but Orton fights out of it and takes Cena down with a hard shoulder. Cena ducks a blow from Orton and gets him in another head lock. Cena gets out, but Cena hits a hard shoulder knockdown on Orton. They lock up yet again, but Cena backs Orton into a corner, then they run across the ring, and Orton counters Cena’s usual bulldog, hurling Cena across the ring. Orton gets the momentum and holds onto it, sparing Barrett a glance before focusing back on Cena. Cena launches himself at Orton, but Orton drops onto the mat and ducks under it, sending Cena right out of the ring. Barrett sneaks up on Orton from behind, but Orton catches him, and hits him, sending him scampering backward.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi @RandyOrton , why do you look like you were sculpted to make the Greek’s jealous?
@KeepItFiveStar Wade Barrett is doing the Smackdown vs RAW Manager bit. Just walk out while the person does their entrance.
We come back to Orton holding the momentum still, Cena fighting out of his headlock. Cena pulls Orton onto his shoulders, but Orton plants Cena face-first onto the mat first. Orton goes for a cover, but Cena powers out at two. Orton hits Cena with some hard hits to the face. Orton flings Cena into the corner, and Cena lifts his boot. Cena then hits a series of shoulder blocks on Orton and then drops him to the ground, calling for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, giving the You Can’t See Me to Barrett, before hitting it on Orton. Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, Orton attempts RKO, Cena attempts STF, and Orton hits a scoop slam. There was stuff in between, but it was moving fast. Orton glances at Barrett, and Orton pulls Cena into the ring, but Cena avoids the DDT and plants Orton outside the ring. Barrett goes to help, but Cena shoves him head over heels away from Orton. Orton and Cena exchange blows outside the ring, and then Cena throws Orton into the ring. Cena climbs onto the top turnbuckle and hits a leg drop on Orton. Cena goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Orton gets up, Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, and Orton wiggles free. Orton gets back into the ring and Cena locks in the STF. Orton is inching toward the ropes, but Barrett pulls the rope back, and Cena gets up in his face. They argue whether Cena should listen to Barrett or win the match. Cena gets back in the ring, and Orton hits a drop kick on him. Orton then hits his DDT on Cena, dropping to the mat and pounding in preparation for the RKO. Cena inches up to his feet, Orton watches him closely, and misses the RKO. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment instead and Orton manages to kick out at two. Cena gets Orton back up, but Orton hits an RKO on Cena, who rolled out of the ring. Orton rolls out of the ring to Cena and pulls him up and shoves him back into the ring, rolling back in himself. Orton gets to his feet and backs into a corner, but Barrett pulls Cena out and clotheslines Cena.
Jon Cena wins via disqualification.
Randy attacks Barrett from behind after the disqualification. Nexus runs to the ring and starts to take Orton out. Cena, on the other hand, fights Nexus back, and Barrett yells at them all to stop, and tells Nexus to get out of the ring. Barrett tells Cena well done, and that he gets to choose the special guest referee for his match with Orton at Survivor Series. His ref will be Cena. Barrett says that Cena will be an impartial referee, but if Barrett doesn’t win the championship at Survivor Series, he’ll fire Cena on the spot. When Barrett wins the WWE Championship, Cena will be relieved of any and all responsibilities to the Nexus. Cena looks like he can’t believe it, Orton looks pissed, and Cole poetically says that Orton is screwed. Way to take the words out of my mouth, Cole. Way to go.
What will Cena do? What will Orton do? WHAT WILL I DO?! There’s RAW. Til next week.
Time for our second elimination. Personally I voted for Husky Harris figuring that he, Cannon and Cottonwood would be on the bubble, with Kaval, Watson and McGillicutty safe. And maybe if I’m lucky Riley maybe falling through the cracks. (more…)
