Well, this was a huge night for MPX. This is by far their biggest crowd, and there were lots of new faces. So for anybody who might doubt them, Colt Cabana & Jimmy Jacobs are draws. I was somehow able to convince my lovely wife (whose favorite part about indy wrestling is I leave the house for the night) to join me for this night. As somebody who’s been with this company nearly from the beginning, it was amazing to see how far they’ve come.
Dark match: JD Kross vs. Jerome Daniels
Daniels is my wife’s favorite patient after one time he had a concussion and she was the nearest nurse. Kross needs to work on the physique. Guts are fine. They just need to look like they’re getting smaller. Ben Wylde is someone who’s spent a lot of time working on his physique, and not that he’s Chris Masters, but there’s improvement. Jerome was great in front of the live crowd. With exception given to Palmer, he is probably the best at keeping the live crowd engaged. The move of the match was this corkscrew kick. I had an Oh, wow moment when it happened. Jerome put on the hold and made Kross tap out.
Winner: Daniels
We had the introduction of the commentators. The crowd still did not react to Hawke. I wonder if it’s because his current entrance doesn’t do anything to solicit boos. Oddly enough, the one fan who boos him sat behind me.
First match: Kanoa w/ Kyle Davis vs. Gregory James w/Kyle Valo vs. Matt Palmer vs. Jimmy Jacobs
Well, one cannot accuse Jacobs of any ego issues as he worked the first match on the card. Palmer is looking a little more chiseled. If you’re reading this for the first time, and you have not ever seen a Matt Palmer match, go to www.smartmarkvideo.com & check out an Anarchy Championship Wrestling DVD. He is one of the best wrestlers in North America you’re not watching. I’m going to use a name that Kyle Davis reminds me of and I do not use this name lightly-Paul Heyman. There are so many ways that he parallels what Heyman is capable of. Palmer-Jacobs was great. These guys have worked before and were totally even. My inner smark was quite happy seeing this. During the match, Kyle received a call on his cell phone (Paul Heyman much?) and took the mic. Mike Foxx had arrived and Kanoa had to leave the match to help Foxx prepare. Looks like we might be doing a build to a Kanoa face turn. I’m not quite sure Kanoa as a heel has run its course yet. After Kanoa left, the three remaining continued their really good match. Greg was able to jump in and do the flip-floppy moves. Jimmy bumped and sold like a pro. Total class act. I wrote down that it was a good match and wanted more.
Winner: Greg
They’ve been leading towards Barrett and Greg forever. With the build-up they’ve given this, this should be one of the most anticipated matches ever. They did a pretty funny vignette where Steven Kirby was trying to explain to Frankie Fisher who his opponent was going to be. Cute.
Second match: Athena vs. Jordynne Grace
So I was really looking forward to this match. Athena is a darling of the indies, and I think with time, so could Grace. The fans were not very forgiving in this match. This is not the most perfect match I’ve ever seen the two have, and to be honest there were a few botches, but every match had one just about. I’m not sure how many times these two have worked together, but I know the chemistry can be hard until you find it. The fans were brutal and heckled some pretty awful things. There was a guy who legit weighed 3 times Grace yelling out,” Jenny Craig.” And Grace works really hard on her physique and does not deserve that from the crowd. I think this will be a full blog topic later on, because I’m still pretty steamed. Nevertheless, Athena was Athena and proved why she is one of the top talents in the world. And I thought Grace did some pretty incredible stuff in the ring. She had some nice, hard-hitting, stiff moves. They won chops of the night until Danny Saint.
Winner: Athena
I think there is enough talent in Texas/Oklahoma/Louisiana/Arkansas to have a legit women’s division. Andy Dalton then came out. I love Evil Dalton. He’s one of Texas’ best treasures. He challenged Scott Murdoch to a chop contest, which is kind of like belly-flopping onto a porcupine. Dalton got a chop in and Murdoch took it and had a pretty red chest. When it came time for Dalton to take a Murdoch chop, Dalton wanted to keep his shirt on. And then he attacked Murdoch with a cookie sheet. You want to dent a cookie sheet, hit Scott Murdoch with it. A great angle to start off the Murdoch-Dalton. I’m really looking forward to this feud.
Third match: Kristopher Haiden vs. Joe Angelo Garcia
This was a match with some nice build-up. Haiden continues to be one of the most over heels in the company. I wrote down that this match was better than the crowd reaction. The crowd didn’t seem that into it. Garcia’s mannerisms remind me a lot of another wrestler that I don’t mention often or use his name lightly-Chris Benoit. Not saying that he’s the second coming, but there are some flashes where I see him in the in-ring work.
Winner: Haiden
After the match, Franco D’Angelo came out and congratulated Garcia on a strong fight. I would like to have Franco come out to my work after I mess up and give me motivational speeches.
During the intermission, Colt Cabana, Jimmy, Athena & Grace were out and about in the crowd with doing what Cliff Compton refers to as “the hustle.” Grace did not have a lot of visitors at her table which was a shame. Were she not already adorning my Man Room Wall, I would have bought something more. I got to briefly discuss AIW and WSU with Athena, which made me mark out as always.
Fourth match: Li Fang w/Nigel Rabid vs. Jiggle-O James Johnson
Johnson came out of retirement (which lasted longer than several Terry Funk retirements) to continue his feud with Li Fang. Johnson had his own brand of intensity. He was still engaging with the crowd yet focused. There was so much intensity and anger in this story. Johnson was on fire. There were a few moments when our eyes got big. Johnson did a kick that sounded like a decapitation. There was also a springboard stunner that Li Fang somehow kicked out of. Li put Johnson in a crossface with Johnson tapping out.
Winner: Fang
Johnson really put over Li in this match.
Fifth match: Tad Wylde (Ben Wylde & Viktor Tadlock) (c) vs. 4D (Dave Dunnings & Dax Daring)
On paper, you wouldn’t think that the team of Daring and Dunnings would work, but somehow it does. Dax is Matt Palmer on a smaller scale in his underrated-ness. If I do a list of my best local wrestlers you’re not watching, Dax is going to be towards the top of that list. One of the biggest reactions of the night was Tadlock’s hair. It looked like the love child of Moe of the Three Stooges and a medieval page.
Last blog, I mocked the new “Wylde” tights for being a little too awkward. This time he had some bicycle shorts or something underneath. The match went pretty well. The newer people in the crowd really weren’t connected with either team so they weren’t lost but just not invested in this match. I love seeing Dax whenever I can. Dunnings’ work is always very solid. And Tad Wylde are becoming a tag team unit. They even had a pretty good finisher.
Winner: Tad Wylde
4D congratulated them afterward. It was nice to see that sportsmanship.
Sixth match: Frankie Fisher vs. Colt Cabana
That’s right. I just wrote Colt Cabana in a LIVE show recap. If I am correct, I remember a few years ago, when Frankie was taking a donation to bring in Colt Cabana. And here he finally was. Frankie was probably the best wrestler to go against Colt because Frankie does comedy probably better than anybody, with respect to Zero. So it was a really fun match. Frankie and Colt kept the crowd engaged. There were plenty of funny spots. My wife became a fan of Colt Cabana after that match. Kanoa came in and interfered in the match. It was ruled a no contest.
Winner: No contest
Main event: Barrett Brown (c) vs. Danny Saint w/Claudia vs. Mike Foxx w/Kyle Davis & Kanoa
It was nice to see that this was still the main event, even with the huge names on the show. The first time Danny main-evented in MPX, I don’t think anybody ever thought he had a snowball’s chance of winning the belt. Tonight he was believable. All 3 looked like they wanted it and belonged there. Saint won the award for chops of the night. Barrett took some pretty crazy chops from Saint and absorbed the blows. Kanoa distracted the referee while Foxx had Barrett pinned. Barrett took the win and retained.
Winner: Brown
After the match, the Following came in and started attacking Brown and Saint. Out to his rescue came a returning Carrion Arcane showing lots of fire and a huge crowd reaction.
All in all… Was again such an emotional experience. Dallas area is not known for getting in big indy names. To get Colt and Jimmy was a pretty big achievement. The crowd was really packed and it really was standing room only. The opener was great, Li-Johnson was really good, Colt-Frankie left me in tears, and it all ended in a strong main event.
We open the show w/a montage of the Shield beating down people, until last week when Cena, Sheamus & Ryback led the charge against them. Also, the Rock is here tonight.
Paul Heyman is in the ring, announcing that tonight is the last night we will ever see Paul Heyman. He talks about his passions and his sacrifices, and all the things he gave up – including his parents fortune – to bring us ECW, and Brock Lesnar. He talks of C.M. Punk being the man to carry WWE into the long-term future.
“You don’t have to be Nostradamus to see into the future. And I can see into the future, and I can tell you ladies and gentlemen, something bad is going to happen here. And that Sword Of Damocles is hanging straight over my head, and it is going to come down not just on me, but every single person around me, and that means it’s going to come down on C.M. Punk.” – Paul Heyman
Heyman goes on to tender his resignation, saying essentially that the McMahon’s obsession with him and his dealings make him an obstacle to Punk winning back the title, and with that, he says goodbye.
C.M. Punks’ music hits and Punk comes out. Punk asks Heyman why he’s doing this. Heyman replies that in the land of the McMahon’s, perception is reality. Vince McMahon’s perception is that Heyman was behind Brad Maddox and the Shield, and whatever happens to Heyman will happen to C.M. Punk. He claims Vince is planing to screw them over big at Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania. Punk argues that he is a “Paul Heyman guy,” and that there are a lot of “Heyman guys” out there. Punk insists that he will resume his historic title reign as WWE champion at Elimination Chamber and that Heyman will be in his corner. Paul is so moved by this show of support, that he renounces his resignation. Punk/Heyman embrace, while ringside commentators Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler make derogatory comments comparing this to the Pope’s resignation and “the most ridiculous love-fest” Cole’s ever been a part of.
The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry, makes his way to the ring as we go to break…
We come back to Khali dancing in the ring w/Natalia & Hornswoggle. The dancing stops as Henry makes his way to the ring. We get a recap of Henry squashing Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara last week, and his win over Randy Orton on last Friday’s Smackdown, which qualified him for the Elimination Chamber.
MARK HENRY VS THE GREAT KHALI
This match BARELY goes five minutes, maybe less. Khali pummles Henry into the corner, and hits big slaps to the cest and head-butts. Henry fights back with kicks and gets Khali in the corner, but runs into an elbow, and a big boot to the face. Khali side-steps Henry into the corner and goes back to the big chest-slap and head butt. Henry blocks a shot, hits a few big right-hands, and gives Khali a short-splash into the corner. Henry hits a big clothes-line, then ends it with the world’s stongest slam for three.
WINNER: MARK HENRY
After the match, Henry gets back in the ring, catches Hornswoggle from behind, and crushes him w/the world’s strongest slam.
“That’s What I Do!” – Mark Henry
This Friday on Smackdown, Orton gets Henry in a re-match.
Later tonight, Cena, Sheamus & Ryback vs #MB…
And break…
We come back to Teddy Lond and Smackdown GM Booker T discussing how impressive Mark Henry is, when Chris Jericho steps up to request a spot in the Chamber. Teddy is readdy to put him in right now. Booker says “Hold up dawg,” and says Jerico has to impress him. Teddy whispers a suggestion to Booker.
“Teddy, that idea sucks.” – Booker T.
Booker suggests that Jericho earn a spot by beating someone already in the match, Daniel Bryan. Jericho agrees to face Daniel “Beard-on” and get back into the chamber and go one step closer to becoming a “seven-time, seven-time, seven-time Heavyweight Champion of the World.”
“NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT, SUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?” – Chris Jericho.
Jericho walks off, leaving Booker wide-eyed in disbelief.
We shift to Vicki Guerrero in her office, on the phone. Heyman walks in, demanding her time. He requests that Vicki add a stipulation to the WWE title match at Elimination Chamber. If the Rock is counted out/disqualified, Punk will be awarded the title. Vicki refuses, then her phone rings. It’s Vince McMahon. Heyman tries to brown-nose Vinny Mac, but Vince cuts him off and demands to know what stipulation he wants. Heyman makes a sheepish request for the count-out/dq stip, and Vince agrees. Heyman thanks Vince for the stip and goes on to call him a “father figure.” Vince hangs up on him. Heyman says Vicki has a lousy phone, and Vicki laughs.
Daniel Bryan makes his way to the ring as we go to break…
We come back to a promo for “FANDANGO” coming soon, followed by Jericho making his way to the ring.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN VS CHRIS JERICHO
The bell rings. Jericho scores two schoolboy roll-ups, two arm-drags, and an ARMBAR! Bryan reverses it into a wrist-lock and a hammer-lock. Booker T and Teddy Long watch a monitor from backstage. Jericho elbows Bryan’s face and hits the ropes. Bryan leap-frogs Jericho, drops down, Jericho goes over, and Bryan hits a knee to Jericho. Bryan kicks Jericho in the chest, the back, hits a snap-mare, a knee-drop, he gets two, and goes to work on Jericho’s arm. Bryan wrist-locks Jericho, works the arm over his shoulder, Jericho reverses the wrist-lock and scores a chop. Jericho puts the boot to him and backs Bryan into the corner with a forearm smash. Bryan reverses a whip into the ropes, Jericho hits a kick to the face, but Bryan sends him up, over, and out to the floor. Bryan tosses Jericho back in. Jericho hits a shoulder-block, but misses a second-rope ricochet body-press and lands on the floor. Bryan hits a flying tackle through the ropes, and both men are hurting as we go to break…
As we come back, Bryan slides out of a suplex attempt, and rolls Jericho up for two. Jericho kicks out and hits a clothes-line. Jericho chokes Bryan in the corner, whips him across the ring, charges into a boot, and Bryan hits the charging drop-kick in the corner on Jericho. Jericho reverses a whip, Bryan goes up the corner ropes and over Jericho, Jericho hits two shoulder-blocks, and Bryan sends him over the ropes. Jericho lands on his feet, goes up-top, misses a flying fore-arm, and Bryan hits a clothes-line. Bryan charges Jericho, Jericho catches the legs and goes for the Walls Of Jericho. Bryan flips him off but runs into an elbow. Jericho goes for a Lion-sault but hits the knees of Bryan. Bryan goes up-top but Jericho cuts him off and crotches him on the top corner. Jericho hits a chop and goes for a super-plex, but Bryan shoves him off and scores a flying head-butt for two. Bryan hits a few knees to the face, but Jericho catches a leg and hooks the Walls Of Jericho! Bryan holds on and powers out of it, twisting it into a “No-Lock” attempt, but can’t lock his hands. Jericho reverses it into another WOJ attempt, but Bryan flips him off and hits a vicious kick to the head for two. Bryan gets the crowd going “Yes!” by going “No!” and sets in with shin kicks to Jericho. Jericho tries another roll-up, Bryan kicks out, and Jericho hits the Code-breaker for a three-count.
WINNER: CHRIS JERICHO
Jericho is now in the Elimination Chamber. Later tonight, the Shield will address us. Up next, John Cena, Sheamus and Ryback face the Three Man Band.
We come back to a recap of last week, when Cena and friends ran off the Shield.
JOHN CENA, SHEAMUS, AND RYBACK VS 3MB (HEATH SLATER, JINDER MAHAL & DREW MACINTYRE)
Apparently, Jerry Lawler has taken exception to Heath Slater making comments about singing, and dancing better than Elvis Presley…
“I told him [Slater] I wish you’d go to the bathroom like Elvis Presley.” – Jerry Lawler
Slater starts off with Ryback. He shoots off his mouth, plays air guitar, takes a boot to the stomach, and gets press-slamed. Ryback tags in Sheamus, who brutalizes Drew MacIntyre. Cena tags in and faces off with Jinder Mahal. Match breaks down into a brawl and ends with the Cena-friends each hitting a finisher on a band member. (AA, Shell-shock, and White Noise.)
WINNERS: TEAM CENA
After the match, Cena and co. each take a turn calling out the Shield. We go to a recap of Alberto Del Rio sabotaging Big Show’s bus and dropping paint all over him.
We go to earlier today, with Yoshi Tatsu and Alex Riley both joking about the Show’s misfortune. It ends with Show clocking them both out.
And we go to break…
We come back to Big Show making his way to the ring for an interview. Matt Striker gets KO’d before he’s halfway through a sentence. Show grabs the mike and spends several minutes trying to say something. However he’s too angry and just drops the mike, and walks off.
We get another look at the tribute video for Bruno Samartino’s Hall Of Fame induction and we’re told there is an exclusive interview w/Bruno and Hunter Hearst Helmsley about Bruno accepting the nodd this year. We’re also reminded that the Rock will be here tonight.
JACK SWAGGER VS ZACK RYDER
Ryder’s in the ring and Swagger makes his way to the ring with a man referred to as “Jebadiah Coulter,” (who I believe might be Dutch Mantel.) Ryder gets in some offense, but Swagger wrestles more viciously then ever, and after bouncing Ryder’s head and back off the turn-buckles, he ends this with the “Patriot Act.” (Ankle Lock Submission.)
WINNER: JACK SWAGGER
After the match, Jeb Coulter is given the mike and delivers a vaguely racist diatribe about “getting rid of” people who aren’t “real Americans.”
Backstage, Booket and Teddy are discussing Swagger and Jeb, when Dolph Ziggler steps in w/AJ and Big E. Angered that Jericho is back with a spot in the Elimination Chamber match, he demands a chance at the last spot. Booker agrees, and puts him in a qualifying match… with Kane.
We get a recap of Brock Lesnar destroying Miz TV and the Miz last week.
Miz makes his entrance as we go to Break. He faces Cody Rhodes next.
THE MIZ VS CODY RHODES
U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro is at ringside, making refrences to his brawl with Miz last week. Cesaro says he caries the American Flag to “rub it in everybody’s face,” how much better he is than us. Match is a by-the-numbers back-and-forth until it goes to the outside. Cesaro gets up in Miz’s face, Miz boots him down and goes to work on Cody, until Cesaro shoves him into the ringpost. Cesaro swings Miz into the guardrail as officals try to break it up.
WINNER BY DQ: THE MIZ
We then get a feature about the WWE Wrestlemania Reading Challenge, where WWE talent go to schools to talk about the importance of reading and children are rewarded for good literacy w/a chance to go to Wrestlemania.
Later tonight, we hear from the Rock and The Shield.
We go to break…
We come back to Rosa Mendes shakin’ her thing in the ring, with Epico and Primo. Brodus Clay makes his entrance w/Tesai and the Pom-Pom waving Funkadactyls.
BRODUS CLAY/TENSAI VS PRIMO/EPICO
Team Mo/Co are straight up jobbed out to the Funkasaurus and the “hip-hop-hippo.” Tensai wins it w/a splash.
WINNERS: TENSAI/BRODUS CLAY
After the match, Rosa gets up in Tensai’s face, but is sent packing by some nifty double-teaming by Naomi/Cameron.
And we go to break…
After the break, the Shield make their way to the ring. They answer the challenge of Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback by calling them out. They cut a promo about Cena failing everyday and how Cena will fail again at Elimination Chamber. Their problem is “The John Cena Problem.” He lives in a bubble with no consequences. That’s not the real world. And he’s laid the groundwork for an entire generation of superstars to be just like him. The Shield will undo a decade of injustice, and invite their opponents to “breath as much fresh air as possible.” They stand around in defiance for a few moments… then the lights go out. When they come back on, Cena and company are each fighting a member of the Shield. After a wild brawl, the Shield take a powder, and Cena’s team smile and slap hands w/the fans.
We get a recap of Heyman’s resignation and Punk talking him out of it. The Rock will be here later tonight, and Alberto Del Rio makes his way to ringside w/Ricardo Rodriguez.
And break…
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS DAMIEN SANDOW
Sandow comes out to berate Nashville (the sight of tonight’s show) for listening to Country Music. Ricardo introduces ADR with the full support of the crowd. Sandow starts off strong with kicks, knees, and a Russian leg-sweep/”elbow of disdain” combo, but misses a charge and Del Rio takes over with clothes-lines, a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, and a thrust-kick for two. Del Rio gets the “Si” chant going and ens this surprisingly quickly w/the arm-breaker.
WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIO!
Alberto cuts a promo, inviting Big Show to pack up his bus and go to Mexico, while he goes to Wrestlemania after their match at Elimination Chamber.
WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring for a match w/Kofi Kingston, but is jumped from behind by Bo Dallas. Barrett is down as we go to break.
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT VS KOFI KINGSTON
The match is basically Kofi’s speed and striking ability vs Wade’s muscle and brawling tactics. Recurring theme in the match is both men ducking each others high-spots. Kofi dives after Wade. Wade catches Kofi’s head in the ring apron and gets the three with the bull-hammer elbow.
WINNER: WADE BARRETT
And break…
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION KANE VS DOLPH ZIGGLER
Kane starts off in control with big right hands and tossing Ziggler around as we go to break…
We come back and Kane in still in control, until it spills outside. Big E distracts Kane and Ziggler sends him into the guardrail. Kane beats the ten count. The match quickly goes back/forth with each man hitting one big spot after another, until Kane goes up top. AJ jumps on the ring to get a distraction, Kane misses the clothesline, Ziggler sends AJ into Big E’s arms, and his distraction allows Kane to hit the choke-slam for three and the last spot in the Chamber.
WINNER: KANE
When we come back, our main event… a promo by The Rock.
We’re back with a look at the Elimination Chamber match itself and…FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME OUT TO DO A PROMO!
Story Time! The Rock regales us all with a story about how, when he was 15, his family moved to Tennessee. He was already 6’4′ and 220 lbs. and not getting any action because girls thought he was a undercover cop. One night, he’s in a bar, and buys a car from a crackhead for $40. After driving for a while, he finds a second crackhead in the car and kicks him out, then abandons the car in a Burger King parking lot at 2 a.m. because he suspected it was stolen. The moral of the story…
1. Don’t buy a car from a crackhead.
2. Don’t be like the Rock at 15, doing all the stuff you shouldn’t.
Rock then talks about being 25 and wrestling at used car dealerships for $40 a night, and dreaming of someday being WWE champion, just like he will be, after Elimination Chamber.
Punk’s music hits, and he’s out with Paul Heyman. Rock compares them to characters form “Twilight,” (Fat werewolf/Homeless Vampire,) and challenges Punk to “just bring it.” Punk strolls down to the ring, fakes changing his mind, and storms the ring. Punk actually had Rock on the defensive, until Rock hit the “Smackdown” (Spine-buster) on him. Rock goes for the “Peoples’ Elbow,” but Heyman trips him up. Punk hits the GTS on Rock, and leaves with the belt.
“Whenever you Bring it, Because it’s mine, I’ll just take it.” – C.M. Punk
I bet you thinking the other kind of hash weren’t you? However, that symbol. You can find it on a phone to the right of the 0, and yet it is the one symbol that could destroy the foundations on which we stand. The one symbol that could do more damage than Eric Bischoff’s WCW ever could. The one symbol, that means more than the sign of the Wolfpac, the middle finger, and whatever it was Jimmy Snuka used to do combined. But how can a simple number sign be so powerful and deadly?
It happened on WWE’s NXT program of all places. This FORCED me to rewind while having it on in the background…
I’m not reviewing the whole show. What I am posting is a superb free-TV match of the new year thus far. It was a solid actual wrestling match. Yes. Like I just wrote… on NXT. We don’t even have a category for that show ’round these parts, fella.
Note: none of the following involves Sheamus, unless you count the Royal Rumble highlight video promoting this weekend’s PPV.
What’s up everyone?! I’m on vacation in Chicago with @Niki_Sushi, as a birthday present to us, but I’m still gonna review RAW! No idea how well this is going to go, but I’m going to do my best, alright? Why’m I still going to do this review? No rest for the wicked.
Now that Cena has gathered a team to do battle with Nexus at SummerSlam, how is the shift in balance going to play out on RAW? And what about Mister Money in the Bank? Is he going to cash in on RAW, or is he going to save his opportunity until he sees the champion down at SummerSlam??
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week: Nexus meets Team Cena.>
BRRRRRRRRRRR MONKEY POO!!!!
Cena makes his way to the ring. One day, he’ll realize that orange isn’t his color, I’m hoping. And he stands there… and stands there… And says everything’s better in Texas. Seven weeks ago, Nexus attacked and took over RAW with no warning. Superstars, commentators, cameramen, the Chairman, Hall of Famers, no one was safe. They did it for reasons only they knew. The point is, if Nexus wanted you hurt, you got hurt. Until last Monday. RAW finally said they have had enough. Friends and enemies stood side by side in the ring with one common goal: to beat Nexus at SummerSlam. You will see that they are not invincible. It’s about time, because the more they terrorize, the more power they get. And with power comes great responsibili-I mean influence. With more influence, they’ll start to take out the show. He’s not saying it’s going to be easy, he’s not Superman, he sees himself more as Aquaman. Jericho and Edge aren’t Batman and Robin. The idea of Khali walking around like Wonder Woman is just wrong. Cena photoshopped it, and it was very very disturbing. Every person on team Cena was chosen for a reason, and at SummerSlam-
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
I love Jericho… especially in a tux. Just sayin.
Cena points out Jericho is on the SummerSlam team. The crowd has a Y2J chant going, and Jericho looks a little confused. He says that he was standing backstage, biding his time, counting the minutes until Cena said what Jericho knew he would say. “My team.” “John Cena’s Team.” All week long, people have been approaching Jericho, saying they’re happy he’s on Cena’s team, and has changed his ways. Jericho wants to make something clear: He didn’t get involved to be a part of Cena’s team, to bask in the glory of a hero, or to shamelessly pander to a group of parasites. He got involved because of his personal problems with Nexus and Barrett, a man he molded from the moment he first came into the company. Jericho knows Barrett and Nexus, therefore he’s more qualified, and this is Jericho’s team. Cena says fine, and the team is sold to Jericho, at a bargain price. Call them whatever he wants. He doesn’t care; he just wants to beat Nexus. Jericho tells Cena not to patronize him. He will be honest and clear: the team lives or dies by Jericho. Cena knocks the mic out of Jericho’s hand, and Jericho looks ready to either run or smack a Sunkist bitch.
Cena says it ain’t about Jericho. It’s not about him. It’s about the damn business. Nexus has taken over the company. Last week, they got Jericho, they got Cena, whatever they want. Jericho loves the business, and that’s why they’re doing it. Does Jericho understand what Cena is saying to him right now? They have to co-exist. Yes, he knows Barrett better than anyone. Jericho is essential to the team. Jericho picks up the mic again and tells Cena never to knock the mic out of his hand again. Second of all, Jericho knows how essential he is. More than that, he sees the big picture. Nexus isn’t the only threat to the company. The other threat is John Cena. Because Cena is more like Nexus than he thinks. He walks around, interrupting whoever he wants, doing what he wants to do. The only difference is he does it with the support of the WWE Universe. Jericho is warning Cena: As soon as Nexus is gone, he’s going to take the next logical step, and turn his sights on Cena. He’ll either do it with his team’s help, or he’ll do it himself. Cena says he’s standing right there, take your best shot.
You’ve got mail!
Cena threw his hat. “Cena, Jericho. Your match against the Nexus at SummerSlam will now be an Elimination Match. The team that eliminates all the members of the opposing team first will be victorious. And in a preview of SummerSlam, the Nexus will face seven RAW superstars in an elimination match tonight. Your match at SummerSlam is all about teamwork. Tonight, let’s see how you, John, and you, Chris, function as a team against opponents of my choosing. And if you’re not down with that, I’ve got two words for you.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi The LOOK on @IAmJericho’s face is ‘I’m being cheered for. I do not approve.’ #BWF #RAW
@SadieandCompany Good grief folks, hold onto your socks. HBK is not in the house tonight. Sigh… #WWE #BWF
@RAWMysteryGM I don’t trust Cole to get me food, it’ll probably be moldy. He loves the Vintage thing RT @Tommyspud: @RAWMysteryGM ‘Get me a pizza’
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, R-Truth interrupts The Miz’ attempt to cash in Money in the Bank.>
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus makes his way to the ring, and Jerry says he is what the future of the WWE is all about. He sits down next to Jerry Lawler.
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso with Jimmy Uso and Tamina
Last week, Orton won a triple threat match between Jericho, himself, and Edge to get the title of Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam.
Looks like the Usos are starting to really get up here if they get to fight Randy. Anyway, I’m kind of interested in this match. The two lock up, and Uso gets a hit to the face that takes him down. Orton keeps the momentum, punching Uso in the side of the head before getting Uso under the bottom rope, and dropping him up into it. Orton then pulls Uso to the apron by his hair. Uso pulls Orton’s head down on the rope, however, and then manages to keep Orton down for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. He gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton stands up and powers out. The two exchange blows before Orton gets the advantage with a couple of clotheslines, and then a scoop slam. Jimmy Uso tries to help, but Orton gets him. Orton then DDTs Jey off of the second rope, and Randy gets riled up, slamming on the mat, and hitting the RKO. He goes for the cover, and secures a victory.
Randy Orton wins via pinfall!
Orton paid too much attention to Sheamus, and Jimmy Uso attacked him. Orton begins to attack back, and Sheamus sneaks in. Orton ducks an attempted kick to the face from Sheamus, and then RKO’s Sheamus.
AWESOME!
Miz runs out there with a referee behind him, and cashes in the Money in the Bank contract.
The Miz vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship
However, before the match can even begin, Randy RKOs The Miz, and it seriously looks like Randy just mouthed ‘mother FUCKER’.
Edge is backstage, talking, saying he can’t wait for SummerSlam. However, he wishes Ted was on his team instead of Khali. Cena comes to Edge and says he has an unstoppable unit, but Khali? Khali’s clumsy, uncoordinated, and not that bright. Maryse says that they don’t understand him, but Edge doesn’t look like he understood her. Ted says neither Khali nor Morrison deserve to be there. Edge says if he has to, he’ll force Cena’s hand and take Khali out himself. As he walks away, he passes Ranjin Singh.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 …and this could go on for a year! :} RT @markjamesbrand: Poor Miz. Thwarted again.
@Niki_Sushi ‘WWE’ is #9 trending in Chicago! #BWF #RAWSheamus and Miz are still in the ring, yelling at one another.
You’ve got mail!
“I found the team that will challenge Chris Jericho and John Cena tonight. The United States Champion The Miz, and the WWE Champion Sheamus.”
I just noticed, the briefcase is dented. Probably from beating Sheamus in the head with it.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Honkytonk Man vs. Ultimate Warrior for the Intercontinental Championship.>
Backstage, Edge is on the phone and Khali starts yelling at him. Ranjin says he heard earlier what Edge said, and he told Khali. Edge claims he never said that, and that he has nothing but the utmost respect for Khali. Khali grumbles something, or spits it, and it apparently translated to Edge is a nincompoop, and challenges him to a match right now. Khali manages to say: YOU! ME! NOW!, which is just plan dirty. Edge says fine. But if Edge wins, Khali is off the team.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes “I received another manager from the general email.” — Michael Cole. LOL #WWE
@RAWMysteryGM Cole screwed up my E-mail, I will replace him with Byron Saxton starting next week #WWE
@Niki_Sushi Well, Edge is gonna get a Great Fist up his ass and a pinky and index through his eyeballs. #BWF #RAW
The Great Khali vs. Edge
Khali comes out, and everyone’s dancing, and I’m so sick of that dance it’s not even funny. Lawler is gone because he’s going to be part of the seven-on-seven tag team elimination match later tonight. I hope Striker comes back on commentary.
Khali starts towards Edge, but Edge moves. Edge is then thrown into a turnbuckle, and Khali licks his han- okay, not really. He smacks Edge in the chest, and then manhandles him a bunch, throwing him into the opposite turn buckle. Edge gets up and manages to punch Khali a couple times, and then Khali clotheslines him, trying a leg drop and missing as Edge rolls away. Nexus makes their way out to the ring, and Edge climbs out of the ring, and into the crowd. Nexus surrounds the ring. Khali’s glaring at Nexus, and they make their way into the ring. They move away, creating an opening for him by the ramp. Khali cautiously gets out of the ring, and he backs up the ramp.
Later tonight, it’s John Cena and Chris Jericho against United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus. However, before that, it’s the seven-on-seven elimination match. I saw Yoshi Tatsu, the Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, and Jerry Lawler.
<COMMERCIAL>
@BrdWrstlngFn Why did the GM choose to torment us by having Michael Cole on commentary by himself?
@HitTheRopes Dammit Edge, if you allowed the Nexus to beat you up, you would have won by DQ and Khali would have been off the team. #wwe
Seven-on-Seven Tag Team Elimination Match
Team RAW vs Team Nexus
Yoshi Tatsu, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Goldust, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Mark Henry, and Evan Bourne vs. Darren Young, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, Skip Sheffield, and David Otunga
Tarver and Yoshi start out, and Tarver gets the upper hand, throwing Yoshi into the turnbuckle. Tatsu runs at him, but Tarver scoop slams him, and eliminates him.
Yoshi Tatsu Eliminated by Michael Tarver.
Evan Bourne takes over against Tarver, and Tarver keeps an advantage, tagging in Justin Gabriel. Tarver was holding Bourne back, but Bourne used it to his advantage. He then tagged in Lawler. Lawler goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out at two. Barrett pulls Gabriel out, and they begin to work out a plan.
<COMMERCIAL>
@seraphalexiel Why did Tyson send Nattie to the back? She can handle the Nexus. And I don’t like seeing Jerry in the ring
@Niki_Sushi ‘VINTAGE LAWLER!’ You know what’ll be vintage? Your life when I figure out how to morph through TVs, Cole. Wait for it. #BWF #RAW
@SadieandCompany Love Jerry Lawler’s “Wonder Woman” outfit! He’s still fabulous!! #WWE #BWF
@ IAmJHPunk Dammit Bourne vs Gabriel would have been great! #wwe #raw #bwf
Jerry Lawler was eliminated during the break by Heath Slater, which is sad, but oh well. Tyson Kidd is in the ring now, and Heath Slater is taking a beating. The ref gets Tyson off Heath, and then tags in David Hart Smith. Smith kept him up in the air for a while before finally dropping him in a suplex, and then went for the cover, but Slater kicked out at two. Smith keeps the advantage, getting Slater down in the corner before Irish Whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. Slater gets up on the top rope, and Smith gets distracted by Gabriel. Slater hits Smith from behind, and eliminates him.
David Hart Smith eliminated by Heath Slater.
Goldust is in now, and Slater get s quick advantage, but Goldust hits a shoulder block before slapping Slater around. Slater tags in Otunga. Goldust gets momentum, but Young holds his ankle and lets Otunga get an opportunity.
Goldust eliminated by David Otunga.
Mark Henry comes in and lifts Otunga before dropping him. Henry then throws Otunga into the turnbuckle, and Slater is tagged in. Slater is thrown around by Henry, who then hurls him across the ring again. Slater then tags in Young, who is clotheslined as soon as he comes in. Henry then hits a boot that actually hurts both me and @Niki_Sushi. Sheffield comes in and the two get in a yelling match for a minute. Sheffield then hits some blows on Henry, before going for his clothesline. Henry then drops him with a suplex, I think, and then again. He then throws Gabriel into the ring, before running right into him in the turn buckle. Turns out Henry forgot about Sheffield, who hits him with his spear-like clothesline.
Mark Henry eliminated by Skip Sheffield.
Only Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne are left. Sheffield ran at them, and they both kicked him before Kidd went in. Kidd then was clotheslined in mid air. Sheffield tags in Young, who hits Kidd.
Tyson Kidd eliminated by Darren Young.
Wade Barrett comes in and runs at Evan. Evan then attacks everyone he can, but Wade gets him and drops him. Wade goes for the cover, and it’s over.
Team Nexus wins, seven to nothing.
Evan’s still lying in the ring, and they get him up, as usual, and then run him right into Sheffield’s Spear-Clothesline. Otunga then lifts Evan, and then drops him. As Evan lies there, Justin gets up on the top rope, hitting the 450 Splash.
Barrett gets the mic, and says that what they just saw was an act of total domination. The Nexus has always been 100% behind the common purpose. Cena, or Jericho’s team is already showing cracks. The cracks are due to their individual egos and agendas. Barrett assures us that come SummerSlam, the cracks are going to destroy the team. Sheffield says that he has a team of individuals who have no singular focus. No member of Cena’s team is willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the group, like Nexus will do and has done. What Cena’s looking at is the Nexus. And they are unbreakable. Tarver takes the mic and says that SummerSlam will be no different than tonight. They will eliminate everyone until there’s only one person left, and Tarver hopes it’s Cena. They’ll treat him like a piece of meat, until they’ve all had their fill. They’ll pounce, and when they do, they’ll put him out of his misery. And then it’ll be over, mercifully for Cena, in more ways than one.
Miz is sitting backstage, massaging his forehead from the RKO, and then Sheamus comes up. Sheamus starts hating on Miz, and says that Miz is dreaming if he thinks that he can beat Sheamus. Miz just stares at him. Sheamus asks if Miz thinks he can, just name the time and place. Miz says how about tonight, immediately after they face Cena and Jericho. After Miz wins that match, and throws Sheamus back in the ring. After Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and Jericho puts him in the Walls of Jericho, and he’s screaming in pain… Miz has a really good Irish accent, btw, and then Miz cashes in on Sheamus. Sheamus says if Miz keeps pushing him, he’ll make him regret it, and knocks the briefcase across the room. Miz looks around and then scoffs.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog When Michael Tarver speaks, you better listen, but don’t look directly into his eyes or else he’ll consume your soul.
@HitTheRopes A clothesline took out the “World’s Strongest Man”? Really? #wwe
@Niki_Sushi Little Known Fact: Mark Henry and Skip Sheffield have a rap battle every night over drinks.
@TKeep123 Team Steroid vs. Team Jobber ….. outcome as expected. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@BrdWrstlngFn Come on WWE, pull the trigger – you know you want The Miz as the WWE Champion!
@kellylynndobson To Barrett Bourne must have weighed nothing after botching kool aid last week. #bwf
Brie Bella with Nikki Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox
Dear God… It’s the Bellas. Jerry is, however, finally back, so we don’t just have to listen to Cole. The Bellas are dressed alike, so I smell a Switcheroo. Jillian came out to stop the twins from doing said Switcheroo, and Nikki nearly pinned Alicia, but Alicia came back and hit her with her finisher, whatever it’s called.
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins via pinfall!
Someone made the mistake of letting Jillian pick up a mic. Jillian says that she has a gift for Alicia, and she’s gonna sing. She’s singing a fucked up version of We Are the Champions by Queen, but Alicia hits her with her finisher too, and another stupid segment is ended.
<COMMERCIAL>
@dasharpshooters Whores are forever, and so are the Bella Twins. #wwe #raw #bwf
@IAmJHPunk How does Jillian still have a job?! #wwe #raw #bwf
R-Truth is out, screaming his constant question, to be on commentary. Anyway.
Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. John Morrison
DiBiase and Morrison lock up, as Cole questions Truths’ motives. Maryse grabbed Morrison, and allowed DiBiase to get a chance to beat him up a little. DiBiase goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. I don’t really care what Truth says, stop focusing on him. DiBiase went for another cover, but Morrison kicked out. DiBiase gets Morrison in a headlock, but Morrison fights out, only to get beat up a bit. Morrison fights back, and Morrison hits DiBiase with his spinny-kick thing, and DiBiase kicks at Morrison. Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to the corner, but Maryse gets on the apron and distracts Morrison. DiBiase puts his feet on the rope to try to cover Morrison, but Truth shoves his feet off. DiBiase attacks Truth, and then Morrison tries to take advantage, only to kick Morrison in the face. DiBiase manages to pin Morrison for the win.
Ted DiBiase wins via pinfall!
Truth and Morrison start arguing in the ring, about Truth’s interference, and Morrison leaves, obviously upset, further creating cracks in Team Cena or Team Jericho. Cena’s watching this, worried about how this is going to affect the team. Truth admits that it was his bad, but Morrison doesn’t look impressed.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar His name is NOT “Jo Mo Fo Sho” it’s John Morrison. Don’t bring him down to your level.
@BrdWrstlngFn Can we get Alicia Fox out here to kick R-Truth too?
@dasharpshooters Morrison turning heel? Hope so. #wwe raw #bwf
@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase’s purple tights are made from actual skin from Grimace. It’s amazing what money can buy.
“Rip It Up” by Jet is the official SummerSlam theme song!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Team Nexus? Meet Team Cena (Jericho).>
Lawler has a Cena Slurpee cup with a Triple H straw…
Josh Matthews is backstage with Randy Orton now! He says that earlier, Randy prevented Miz from cashing in. Orton says that before he RKO’d Miz, he RKO’d Sheamus. T he message he sent tonight was clear: the question of who will be champion walking into SummerSlam doesn’t matter, because the question of who’s leaving as champion will be answered with an RKO.
AWESOME!
United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus vs John Cena and Chris Jericho
<COMMERCIAL>
@RAWMysteryGM Spoiler Alert: Miz opens next week’s RAW with the World Heavyweight championship explaining why he cashed in on Kane on Smackdown #WWE
@kickoutblog Y2J chant? Get out of 1999 you parasitic tapeworms!
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus comes out, and there’s already tension between Miz and Sheamus, and everyone knows Jericho and Cena were going to have tension…
Both teams are arguing over who’s going to start the match. I saw Miz go, “Okay, you start it? You start it?” and then run to attack Cena. Cena hits a bulldog by the time I look up, and Miz rolls out of the ring. Miz then tags in Sheamus, who blends in with the ring ropes. They lock up, and Sheamus gets the advantage, keeping Cena in a headlock, but Cena powers out and puts Sheamus in a headlock. Cena hits the shoulder block, and then shoves Sheamus in the corner. Cena holds his hand out and Jericho tags in, cornering Sheamus, before Sheamus turns it around on Jericho. A Y2J chant is starting up, and it makes me happy. Jericho hits a missile dropkick on Sheamus before standing on both Sheamus and the ropes. Jericho gets a kick in the stomach before some moves are exchanged and Sheamus gets flipped out of the ring. Jericho clears the ring, and then Miz mocks Sheamus outside the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to Cena and Sheamus, just in time for Cena to get a huge clothesline. Sheamus tags in Miz, but Cena gets the advantage and goes for a cover, only for Miz to kick out. Jericho comes in off the tag and knees Miz right in the nose. Jericho bounces around and goes for a cover, only to try for the Walls of Jericho. Sheamus goes to attack Jericho, but Jericho ducks and finally manages to hit the Lionsault on Sheamus, but Miz takes advantage. Miz gets Chris up and back into his corner, kicking him before Sheamus tags himself in. Sheamus then attacks Chris in the same way, pandering more to Miz than the crowd, as the Miz chokes Chris on the apron as Sheamus distracts the ref. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out. Sheamus gets Jericho in a headlock after that, and Jericho gets to his feet and powers out. Sheamus drops Jericho onto his knee and then goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Jericho back to his feet, and then drops him again. Sheamus tags Miz in, and Miz drops his boot on Jericho’s back before hitting him with some forearms. Miz then keeps Jericho on the rope, and slams his throat into it. Miz goes for a cover, but Jericho grabs the rope. Miz then gets a kick to the chin, and then a missile dropkick from the top rope. Cena is yelling at Jericho to tag him, and Miz rolls over to tag in Sheamus. Sheamus then gets Jericho in a headlock, and Cena seems to be trying to walk Jericho through it on the apron. Jericho manages to get up and power out of the headlock and Miz tags his way in. Miz then bounces Jericho’s head off the turnbuckle, and beats him in the corner. The ref forces Miz off, and then Miz yells at him before attempting his swinging corner clothesline, only for Jericho to win.
Miz is slowly rolling to Sheamus, as Jericho crawls to Cena, and it’s now Cena and Sheamus. Cena takes Sheamus down with some shoulder blocks. Cena then sets up and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Miz distracts the ref, and Chris is in the ring too. Chris hits the Code Breaker on Cena, Miz tags in himself, and goes for the cover on Cena.
The United States Champion The Miz and the WWE Champion Sheamus win via pinfall.
Miz already starts walking out of the ring and away from them. Jericho is watching Cena, before climbing back in the ring. Jericho then puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho. Cena flips it and puts Jericho into the STF. Jericho taps, but Khali comes in, trying to talk some sense into them. Edge then hits a Spear on Khali. Cena asks what the hell Edge is doing only for Morrison and Truth to come in. Team Cena/Jericho/whatever is all arguing in the ring. Khali then hits Morrison and Edge, and then everyone tries to tell Khali to stop. Jericho starts screaming at all of them too, telling everyone to stay down.
Looks like the tension on Team Cena/Jericho/YankeeDoodleDandy is going to make everyone a little crazy. How will Nexus take advantage of this? Will Miz ever cash in the Money in the Bank contract, or is he just going to hold onto it forever until the year mark and then cash it in? Later, BWF tweeters.
BoredWrestlingFan.com is looking for volunteers to help out with show reviews! Anybody interested, e-mail me at admin@boredwrestlingfan.com for details!
WWE RAW
October 13, 2008
Anaheim, CA
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Reported By: Hunter Golden B of WrestleView.com
Well, I wasn’t planning on doing a real-time tonight, just a review later, but since I decided not to go to the concert I was going to go to (Puddle of Mudd, if you’re wondering), I’m home and ready to go for the BoredWrestlingFan Friday Night Tradition! You know the drill, so here we go!
Jeff Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin via disqualification when MVP interfered
Natalya & Maryse def. Michelle McCool & Maria via pinfall
The Brian Kendrick def. Scotty Goldman via pinfall
