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RAW 10.25.10

October 25, 2010 11:18 pm 3 Comments

Originally, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to catch this RAW, due to homework, but I managed to just miss about 18 minutes of it. I’m sure RAW will more than make up. Anyway, basically all that happened during that block I missed was that Cena and Otunga lost the WWE Tag Team Championships to Gabriel and Slater. Awesome.

We come back from the first commercial for a WWE Rewind.

Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlin make their way out to the ring. Vickie says that there was a blemish in Smackdown’s perfect night at Bragging Rights, and that Ziggler was cheated by shoddy officiating, and that there was a bias for RAW by the WWE referees. Ziggler is going to embarrass Bryan tonight.

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan

Before the match even begins, CM Punk comes out.

In the ring, Ziggler gets an advantage over Bryan, and Punk joins them for commentary. Bryan takes the advantage back and gets Ziggler in the ‘surfboard’, and Ziggler manages to get out or Bryan lets him out. Ziggler goes for a cover on Bryan, but Bryan kicks out on two. Ziggler tries to keep advantage, but Bryan takes that away with a dropkick to the face, and Ziggler kicks out of the cover. Ziggler hits a low gut-kick on Bryan and Bryan flips him right out of the ring.

@HitTheRopes I love that @CMPunk is about to school King and Cole on announcing. #wwe

@ThingsColeSays CM Punk burying King is AWESOME!!!

@TKeep123 Here come Chuck Norris…err..I mean….Bryan Daniel. #WWE #RAW

We’re back to Bryan and Ziggler back in the ring, and Bryan takes Ziggler out with a hard clothesline. Bryan goes for the cover, but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler looks like he’s begging for mercy, and Bryan ignores him, hitting hard kicks on his abdomen. Bryan misses his first kick, but hits the second one, only for Ziggler to kick out at two. Bryan goes for the LaBell lock, but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Bryan puts Ziggler on the top rope, and hits a hurricanrana off the top, only for Ziggler to flip it into a pin, though Bryan kicks out. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Bryan gets out, and Ziggler hits what could have almost been Sweet Chin Music on Bryan. Bryan kicks out of that cover though, and Vickie screeches about the ref cheating or something. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, misses, Bryan goes for a cover, reverses into Ziggler covering Bryan, and then Bryan kicks out at two. Vickie is still screeching. Ziggler and Bryan trade moves, and then Ziggler throws Bryan, but Bryan kicks out of the cover. Ziggler goes for the sleeper again, but Bryan wonders absently around the ring, but Bryan counters into the LaBell lock, and Vickie pulls Ziggler’s foot outside the bottom rope. The ref takes his submission, Vickie freaks out, and the ref basically says that that’s too bad and keeps his decision the same.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via submission.

Bryan’s enjoying his victory, and Ziggler slips back into the ring, but then flees when Bryan turns around.

Last night, Smackdown beat RAW again. Boo.

Later tonight, John Cena will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton, and the winner decides the special guest referee for their next match (or… Barrett and Orton decide).

@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay, Bravo #WWE Good match w/ Punk as a God on commentary

@CawCawBang LMAO! I love CM Punk’s brutal honesty

@TKeep123 Ziggler’s gonna get callouses from tapping so much! #WWE #RAW

The guest star tonight is country megastar, Toby Keith.

Toby Keith gives a copy of his albums to the Bellas, and they give him a Championship belt. Santino comes up, dressed like a cowboy. He said that when he came to America, it was all pop, and now it’s country and western. He then sings a song of sorts that he wrote. I’ll try to find these lyrics later, alright? It is funny. Toby tells him to keep his night job, and then Sheamus comes up.

Sheamus mocks Santino, of course, and says that Santino embarrassed his team last night, but Sheamus is going to give him an opportunity to prove he’s not worthless. He challenges him TONIGHT! Santino says he’s on. Sheamus then tells Santino he’d better show up. Santino then asks Toby if he thinks Sheamus was ‘for really’.

Cena walks up and yells at Barrett, who calls him out for finding a loophole last night. The only reason Cena’s still employed, is because Barrett is allowing it. If he tells Cena to make a cup of coffee, be silent, or lay down to give up a championship, then he’s gonna do it. Cena says that for the last few weeks he’s been trying to hold onto something he loves, but he can’t do it anymore. Fired, quit, it’s the same damn thing, and it beats working for Barrett. Barrett tells him to hold on, and that he may have a solution. If Cena beats Orton tonight, Barrett will make him an offer that will benefit both of them.

@kickoutblog Santino still looks less ridiculous than Toby Keith usually does.

@inkincisions Please. Someone, anyone, get in that ring, and wrestle!

@thinksojoe Best. Country. Song. Ever! #BWF

@TKeep123 Cowboy crooner Santino Morella! Fear The Cobra! #WWE #RAW

@HitTheRopes The Bellas doing what they do best, standing next to the guest star….. Wait, wasn’t there some kinda dysfunction between them? #wwe

LayCool vs Melina and Gail Kim

Melina goes straight for McCool, then dominates Layla. Melina goes for a cover on Layla, who kicks out. The two switch each other around, and then Layla knocks Gail off the apron, and they hit each other mid-ring with a cross body. Layla tags in Michelle, but Melina didn’t see it and takes a boot to the face and a cover for the win.

LayCool win via pinfall.

Short ass Diva’s match? Check!

Lawler tells us not to wear a WWE T-shirt when you go to vote next Tuesday.

Miz and Riley make their way to the ring, and Cole says Miz is going to read the Riot Act to the rest of the team.

@divadirt Michelle pins Melina after a big boot and it’s all over in 1 minute. Yay(!) [/sarcasm] #WWE

@CawCawBang Does this mean we get to see psycho Miz again?

AWESOME!

Wheeeeeeee, Miz~! I haven’t done it in a while. Just… let me have a moment.

Okay, moment over.

Miz says he’s accomplished more in his career than everyone in this arena can dream of achieving in their entire lives. No matter how superior he is to everyone in the arena or the locker room, he is not a miracle worker. Last night, he endured adversity, overcame hardship, he lasted longer than any Superstar on RAW, but they still failed against Smackdown. If the WWE Superstars had a fraction of the talent that he possessed, the Bragging Rights trophy would be on Monday Night RAW. But his talent doesn’t just speak volumes. It screams ‘AWESOME’. That’s why he’s a leader. That’s why he’s the captain, and that’s why tomorrow, the poster child of THQ’s Smackdown vs RAW 2011 is none other than him. The Miz joins Cena and the Big Show on the cover of the game. Miz says that if they really wanted to make some money, then the cover should have just consisted of him. The RAW team should have just consisted of seven Miz’, instead of one Miz and six losers. If those people understand anything, understand this: he blames his team, he blames Smackdown, he blames Rey Mysterio, and if Rey wants to come over there, he’s putting out the challenge. Step right up over to RAW, next week, he doesn’t care. The reason people watch RAW is because of him. Because he’s the Miz and he’s the only person on the RAW roster that can honestly say that I’M AWESOME!

Eve comes out after his speech and makes her way into the ring, and Miz even holds the ropes apart for her. Miz says that Eve is there to apologize on behalf of all the Divas, but she doesn’t have to. She should, instead, be apologizing for her horrific taste in men, music, and hair extensions that don’t match. She says she didn’t come out to apologize. He needs to be worried about the fact that everyone in the locker room, arena, WWE Universe thinks he’s a… bunch of words here, loser. Miz asks if they all really think he’s a frog-faced loser, and I disagree. :3 Anyway… Miz says that the Packers aren’t going to the SuperBowl, so they’re all losers as well. As for Eve, Miz finds it amusing that the Superstars sent out a Diva to insult him. Eve says that she knows what he’s going to say and he’s quite possibly the furthest thing from awesome she’s ever seen, and he’s ugly. Riley says for her to shut the front door. Riley says that he doesn’t speak Gucci, but the reason the rest of the RAW team isn’t out there is because they’re all tip-toeing their way toward unemployment, and the Miz could have beat any of those slackers by himself. So, why doesn’t Eve take that little switch in her walk back to the back and find out if anyone in the team wants to take a piece out of the captain.

Truth comes out, thus ruining a few nights on Twitter. I wish he’d stop rapping though, I really would… God, I almost miss him screaming ‘What’s Up?’ at me… and yes, Cole, Santino’s singing was better.

Truth says slackers was a bit harsh. Anybody wanna piece of Miz? Truth would like to have a piece of Mr. Kermit. Don’t get mad because what Eve said is the truth, and they all know the truth hurts. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t have a problem showing Miz that the truth hurts. God, this is corny.

“Ding ding ding.”

The Miz vs R-Truth

Miz misses a clothesline, and Truth takes advantage, knocking Miz out of the ring.

@WWEsAngel_Nef Is it just m or is Eve channeling some serious Dixie Carter right now? #WWE

@dasharpshooters: The Miz should Choke that bitch. STFU EVE! #wwe #raw

@StrikerSays For a minute, though, I was REALLY hoping for an intergender match.

@kickoutblog All those pansies in the Raw locker room had to send a woman to trash talk Captain Awesome.

@inkincisions LMFAO. Alex Riley. OMG. This segment has made my night. “OH YOU FANCY HUH!?”

@CawCawBang get back in the kitchen woman

@divadirt Miz says Eve should be sorry for her ‘extensions that don’t quite match’. You got served! #WWE

@TKeep123 I love Eve and she’s a trained dancer, model, cheerleader, etc, but when she dances to Truth’s rap…it’s just sooo bad. #WWE #RAW

Miz has Truth in a headlock as we return, getting momentum back with a big boot to the head. Truth goes for a roll-up, but Miz kicks out at two, and then pummels Truth’s head. Miz goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out. Miz gets advantage again, but Truth fights back, countering in mid-air and going for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz gets Truth in the corner and beats on him until the ref pulls him away. Miz then hits the swinging corner clothesline and goes for a cover again, only for Truth to kick out again. Miz gets him to his feet and then puts him on the top turnbuckle. Miz tries for a suplex, but Truth holds steady and knocks Miz off. Miz runs into Truth’s foot, and Truth jumps over him, hitting some hard hits on Miz before Miz counters with a kick to the gut. Truth then hits a vicious clothesline and keeps his momentum going. Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth slams his elbow into Miz and ducks under a clothesline, hitting some weird move on Miz, and going for a cover. Miz kicks out at two, and Miz is outside on the apron. Truth knocks him right into the announce table. Truth then shoves Miz into the ring, and Riley shoves Truth into the apron. Eve walks over and slaps Riley. In the ring, Miz goes to suplex Truth, but Truth manages to get on his face. Truth then takes Riley out outside the ring, and goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth tries to hit Lie Detector, but Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale.

The Miz wins via pinfall.

Miz blows Eve a kiss after the match, getting some attitude back, of course.

Still to come, Cena takes on Orton.

@KeepItFiveStar That’s R-Truth’s signature move, looking up a the lights, flatback.

Tonight’s guest star is Toby Keith, and he happens to be the special guest referee for the next match. The Bellas need to learn how to dance to country music. Seriously… and get off him, you whores. He’s too important to get herpes from you two.

Honestly… I’m a fan of Toby Keith (born and raised listening to him), but I don’t know what he’s saying, to be honest.

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head…

Sheamus vs Santino Marella

I love Santino. He just poked his head out from behind the lights there. Santino seems reluctant, but Toby Keith works on getting him in the ring. Santino managed to get one quick shot in before Sheamus decided to massacre him for his mistake. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick, and Santino literally just flops onto his butt. John Morrison runs out and tells the ref something, falling on his butt again when Sheamus goes for another Brogue Kick. Sheamus went for another Brogue Kick, but ended up getting his feet all caught up in the ropes, and Santino capitalizes with a pin. He and John Morrison flee up the ring.

Santino Marella wins via miracle pinfall.

@KeepItFiveStar Toby Keith told Santino that Sheamus is no longer Triple H’s gym buddy.

@TKeep123 Toby Keith can’t keep his eyes open? OH, that’s right, protecting them from the Sheamus glow! #WWE #RAW

More video packages, less wrestling. Totally makes sense.

Gabriel and Slater take pride in their title win. Otunga, on the other hand, wants to talk to Barrett and looks pretty pissed. Otunga asks why he had to go through that. Barrett says that he’s sorry he feels that way. Otunga says that since he couldn’t win last night, Barrett made him lay down. Otunga says that he may be a little pissed and may decide to tell everyone why they really attacked Taker last night. McGuillicutty and Harris come in wearing Nexus shirts, and Barrett says that they’re members, and while he understands Otunga’s frustrations, Otunga is either Nexus or against us, and he needs to make that choice right now. Otunga glares at them all, and then says he’s Nexus. Barrett says he’s pleased about that and for Otunga to keep up the excellent work. I wonder where they found enough fab- okay, no fat jokes. I’m sorry.

Next up, Cena vs Orton.

@KeepItFiveStar “I was in prison watching the WWE because the inmates used to watch the show to get ideas on how to-” – MVP

@HitTheRopes Hey, Stand Up for WWE ad, I visited China…town! Chinatown, dammit! #wwe

@kickoutblog Okay, Stand Up for WWE is lame, but this promo is pretty damn cool.

@ThingsColeSays OK, I actually like this video package. I know it’s got ulterior motives, but it’s different.

Oh, dear God… Next week, Pee Wee Herman is the guest host… I may avoid RAW next week… He makes me twitchy.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, EVE!

John Cena vs WWE Champion Randy Orton

Cena and Orton part seven million and forty-five starts now! … I love all their matches though, I’ll be honest.

Orton and Cena lock up, Cena getting Orton in a headlock, but Orton fights out of it and takes Cena down with a hard shoulder. Cena ducks a blow from Orton and gets him in another head lock. Cena gets out, but Cena hits a hard shoulder knockdown on Orton. They lock up yet again, but Cena backs Orton into a corner, then they run across the ring, and Orton counters Cena’s usual bulldog, hurling Cena across the ring. Orton gets the momentum and holds onto it, sparing Barrett a glance before focusing back on Cena. Cena launches himself at Orton, but Orton drops onto the mat and ducks under it, sending Cena right out of the ring. Barrett sneaks up on Orton from behind, but Orton catches him, and hits him, sending him scampering backward.

@Niki_Sushi @RandyOrton , why do you look like you were sculpted to make the Greek’s jealous?

@KeepItFiveStar Wade Barrett is doing the Smackdown vs RAW Manager bit. Just walk out while the person does their entrance.

We come back to Orton holding the momentum still, Cena fighting out of his headlock. Cena pulls Orton onto his shoulders, but Orton plants Cena face-first onto the mat first. Orton goes for a cover, but Cena powers out at two. Orton hits Cena with some hard hits to the face. Orton flings Cena into the corner, and Cena lifts his boot. Cena then hits a series of shoulder blocks on Orton and then drops him to the ground, calling for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, giving the You Can’t See Me to Barrett, before hitting it on Orton. Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, Orton attempts RKO, Cena attempts STF, and Orton hits a scoop slam. There was stuff in between, but it was moving fast. Orton glances at Barrett, and Orton pulls Cena into the ring, but Cena avoids the DDT and plants Orton outside the ring. Barrett goes to help, but Cena shoves him head over heels away from Orton. Orton and Cena exchange blows outside the ring, and then Cena throws Orton into the ring. Cena climbs onto the top turnbuckle and hits a leg drop on Orton. Cena goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Orton gets up, Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, and Orton wiggles free. Orton gets back into the ring and Cena locks in the STF. Orton is inching toward the ropes, but Barrett pulls the rope back, and Cena gets up in his face. They argue whether Cena should listen to Barrett or win the match. Cena gets back in the ring, and Orton hits a drop kick on him. Orton then hits his DDT on Cena, dropping to the mat and pounding in preparation for the RKO. Cena inches up to his feet, Orton watches him closely, and misses the RKO. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment instead and Orton manages to kick out at two. Cena gets Orton back up, but Orton hits an RKO on Cena, who rolled out of the ring. Orton rolls out of the ring to Cena and pulls him up and shoves him back into the ring, rolling back in himself. Orton gets to his feet and backs into a corner, but Barrett pulls Cena out and clotheslines Cena.

Jon Cena wins via disqualification.

Randy attacks Barrett from behind after the disqualification. Nexus runs to the ring and starts to take Orton out. Cena, on the other hand, fights Nexus back, and Barrett yells at them all to stop, and tells Nexus to get out of the ring. Barrett tells Cena well done, and that he gets to choose the special guest referee for his match with Orton at Survivor Series. His ref will be Cena. Barrett says that Cena will be an impartial referee, but if Barrett doesn’t win the championship at Survivor Series, he’ll fire Cena on the spot. When Barrett wins the WWE Championship, Cena will be relieved of any and all responsibilities to the Nexus. Cena looks like he can’t believe it, Orton looks pissed, and Cole poetically says that Orton is screwed. Way to take the words out of my mouth, Cole. Way to go.

What will Cena do? What will Orton do? WHAT WILL I DO?! There’s RAW. Til next week.

SmackDown 10/22/10

October 24, 2010 1:22 pm 3 Comments

It’s the go home show before Bragging Rights – Does SmackDown Know the Enemy? Indeed, it’s RAW, and tonight the Monday Night superstars invade the Blue Brand! It’s Randy Orton vs. Kane in our Main Event tonight, and the two teams for Bragging Rights kick things off in the ring as Teddy Long presides over them.

(more…)

RAW 10.18.10

October 18, 2010 11:10 pm 4 Comments

Sorry about no RAW review last week. I originally planned to do it on Tuesday, but I completely forgot about a midterm, and real life caught up with me and bitch slapped be across the face. Anyway, there’s one gonna be up tonight, and that’s all that matters, right?

Tonight, John Cena will team up with WWE Champion Randy Orton against the men that got him into Nexus in the first place, Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris. How will Nexus feel about this?

RAW starts with Teddy Long, of all people, coming out. He says he’s here tonight because he can. Tonight, he’s going to take over RAW.

“Get out of my ring. Get out of my ring, now. You have no business being here.”

Teddy interrupts and says that Smackdown vs Raw this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and brings out the Bragging Rights trophy. Teddy says that the trophy belongs to Smackdown, and they laid the Smackdown on RAW last year.

“Get out of my ring, or else.”

Teddy says he’s not threatening him? He’ll show him, or else. Teddy climbs out of the ring and he starts arguing with Cole.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

Teddy shoves the mic at Cole and goes up to the podium. He says that the Smackdown General Manager has an announcement to make. Right now, the RAW GM is going to be disconnected. He then introduces the Big Show and the rest of Team Smackdown. Edge, Alberto del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio.

AWESOME!

Turns out Team RAW wasn’t too happy about that, and Captain Miz comes out with a laughing Alex Riley. Miz says this is the team that’s supposed to take over RAW? It looks like Smurf Village next to a power plant. Miz reminds us that he was the sole RAW superstar to win at Bragging Rights last year, is the team captain this year, and will lead RAW over Team Smackdown. The trophy and the Bragging Rights that go with it, will go over to the A-Show. Miz then brings out the rest of Team RAW: CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sheamus. Miz then tells them to get out of their ring, or they’ll make them get out.

Team RAW starts walking down to the ring, and then the brawl starts in the ring between the two teams. While they’re all killing each other, I wanna say that it’s really cool to see Ezekiel Jackson back. Miz then grabs his team and exits the ring, saving that they need to save it for Sunday. Show takes a mic and says, don’t go back there and start a ruckus. He gets it, it’s his ring. Smackdown will get out of the ring, willingly, if Miz will face Show one-on-one in a Captain vs Captain match. Miz agrees to it.

Still to come, WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty.

@legendkiller515 will someone please smack the hell outta cole #wwe #raw #bwf

@CawCawBang Go away Cole you ugly troll

@Lunna1969: Smurfette! Lmao! W2g Miz #RAW #WWE

We come back to the Tag Team Champions standing in the ring.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs The Hart Dynasty with Natalya

Rhodes and Kidd start out, Kidd going for McIntyre before Rhodes plants him and gets the advantage. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, who dominates Kidd. McIntyre plants Kidd’s face into the barrier before getting him back in the ring and tagging in Rhodes. McIntyre drops Kidd onto the ropes and holds him there for Rhodes to kick him in the ribs. Rhodes then tags back in McIntyre and they throw Kidd into the turnbuckle. Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who hits a drop kick on McIntyre and gets the momentum back on their side. He then hits two big kicks on Rhodes and McIntyre. He goes for a cover on McIntyre, but he kicks out at two. Smith hits a running power slam and goes for a cover, but Rhodes breaks it up. Rhodes goes to attack Smith, but Kidd attacks him. They set up for the Hart Attack, but Smith decides to attempt a Sharpshooter last minute. Smith gets distracted by Kidd and McIntyre hits the Future Shock DDT for the win.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

Natalya proceeds to yell at David Hart Smith about how they’re a team.

Backstage, Cena’s thoughtful and Randy Orton walks up. He says that they should lay all the cards on the table. He can tell that Cena being a part of Nexus is eating him up, but he doesn’t think that it would stop him from helping Barrett take the WWE Championship away from him. So, if Cena helps, Orton won’t have any problem punting him in the skull. Cena says that if he even tries, Cena will break that leg off.

@kickoutblog We need Bret to fix these… broken Harts. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

@HitTheRopes Look, Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre are offering their 2 cents…. Get it? 2 cents. (tag titles look like 2 pennies) #rimshot #wwe

Goldust with Aksana vs. Zack Ryder

Damn. I hate that they won’t play Ryder’s theme song. I jam out to it when they play it. Anyway.

Ted DiBiase and Maryse make their way out to the stage to watch the match as Ryder gets an early advantage over Goldust, which Goldust gets back by slapping Zack in the face. Goldust hits the final cut, and the match is over.

Goldust wins via pinfall.

Ted DiBiase makes his way to the ring and attacks Goldust from behind. Maryse went to grab the Million Dollar Belt, but Aksana got it. Maryse then chases Maryse out of the ring to try to get the belt back. Goldust gets up in the ring and hits the Final Cut on DiBiase too. I admit, I’m loving the weird Goldust’s return.

Still to come, Smackdown vs RAW starts early as the Big Show takes on The Miz.

@kickoutblog I kinda wish they would’ve done that video like those old Disney sing-a-longs with a bouncing R-Truth thread.

@WWEsAngel_Nef Bwahahahahahahahaha <—-My reaction to R-Truth’s video package. #WWE

@HitTheRopes Maryse and Aksana face to face. It’s as if Maryse was looking in a mirror…. a mirror that is worn, dusty, and doesn’t show sexy #wwe

Barrett is standing with Nexus and Cena walks in. Barrett says that he wants Cena to test Harris and McGuillicutty, to see if they’re good enough to join the Nexus. Cena said that Barrett just told him to go out there and give it everything he’s got, and those are his orders? He asks what the catch is, and Barrett says that there’s no catch: tonight he has the opportunity to show the WWE Universe the Cena they know and love, then orders him to get him a glass of water.

The kid from Role Models and the new Knucklehead movie, Bobbie Thompson, is playing Smackdown vs RAW with Show vs Miz, and Show wins. Miz then picks him up and to tell him that Miz has a surprise for him. Show then takes Bobbie, and puts him down. Bobbie then says that Show has to knock Miz out for him.

Cena comes back with a glass of water and hands it to Barrett, who says it wasn’t difficult. Barrett wants Cena to know that he’s really enjoying it, then splashes the water in Cena’s face.

@kickoutblog Miz is assaulting children now? #favoritewrestlerever

@FrankWWEClown Heath Slater, stop smirking, you little creep. #WWE #RAW

@CawCawBang When did little chris rock come in?

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WATER BOY!

John Cena and WWE Champion Randy Orton vs Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris

Is it just me, or does Husky look like a pedobear remake? Hmm…

Nexus come up to the stage to watch the match. Cena and McGuillicutty start, and Cena starts unleashing on McGuillicutty. Cena hurls McGuillicutty around the ring before throwing McGuillicutty after a vicious looking fisherman suplex.

@redsandman99 I think it should be illegal for Husky Harris to not wear a shirt

@kickoutblog Should be interesting to see what Husky & Imperfect can do when they don’t have to carry a keg.

Now Randy and McGuillicutty are in the ring, and McGuillicutty kicks out of a cover as Orton tags in Cena. Cena hits McGuillicutty, then goes to take Harris off the apron, then running into a dropkick. Harris gets his chance at retribution and beats up on Cena in the corner. Harris goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris tags in McGuillicutty who beats up on Cena and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out. Harris tags himself in and seems to get stuck for a minute between the ropes, throwing himself into Cena’s face. He goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris has Cena in the middle of the ring in a headlock, but Cena fights to his feet before Harris puts his knee in Cena’s spine. Cena’s flat on the ring floor, but rolls out of the way before Harris squishes him flatter than a pancake hits him. Orton gets in the ring with McGuillicutty and hits a scoop slam. McGuillicutty rolled out to the apron, hoping it would save him, and Orton pulls him between the top and middle rope before hitting the DDT. He points to Barrett, getting ready for the RKO, pushing Harris into Cena for an Attitude Adjustment. Orton then hits the RKO on McGuillicutty and pins him for the win.

WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena win via pinfall.

Cena seems content that he, for once, was able to fight in his own way and won, again. He offers Orton a hand, but Barrett tells him to hold it right there, and tells him not to shake Orton’s hand, and then tells him to get out of the ring, and it’s an order. Cena looks at Orton for a minute, then climbs out of the ring. Barrett says that Cena has the best spot in the house to witness the demise of the Viper, as Nexus surrounds the ring. Orton looks at Cena and then hits Barrett before throwing Slater out of the ring and then is ambushed by Nexus outside the ring. Nexus gets Orton back in the ring, but Orton manages to fight back for a minute before getting overwhelmed again. The crowd is cheering for Cena, but he hasn’t moved. Slater hits his finisher, for the first time since NXT, then Otunga does, then Gabriel. Barrett tells Cena to get in the ring, and Cena does so. Barrett says that he wants Cena to give Orton an Attitude Adjustment, and Cena says that that’s enough. Barrett says do it, or Cena’s fired. Cena gets Randy up to his feet, then on his shoulders. Barrett then tells Cena to give Randy to him. Barrett then hits the Wasteland on Orton. Cena walks out of the ring and starts walking up the ramp, shaking his head.

@kickoutblog Even better joke: Husky Harris is only heavier because he’s being weighed on the metric system. #Canada

@HitTheRopes Slater and Otunga need to go back to the lab and come up with a better finishing move. #wwe

Vickie comes out, just when everyone thought that it couldn’t get worse, but guess what! This is RAW!! Vickie says that she is happy to take credit for the Smackdown superstars appearing on RAW tonight, and there is one special superstar who has a special twinkle in his eyes, because his eyes are only on her: The Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph says that people confuse his cockiness when it’s really just confidence. He can’t blame them, he’s got it all: The looks, the shredded physique, gorgeous head of hair, and that’s not the best part. The most beautiful, intelligent woman on the face of this earth is with him. She’s the ray of sunshine when his skies are gray, she makes his heart go pitter-patter—

Daniel Bryan interrupts and says that he may not be a lady’s man (to which Dolph replies with, “I noticed”), and says that even he could do better than Vickie. Bryan says that he doesn’t have the movie star looks, peroxide infested hair, but he does have the ability to capitalize on any mistake in that ring, and the ability to make Dolph tap out. So, he proposes the United States Champion vs the Intercontinental Champion at Bragging Rights. Vickie seems to be encouraging this. Dolph says that he accepts, but why wait until Sunday? Why don’t they do this right- and then slaps Bryan. Dolph then steps behind Vickie, who steps in front of Dolph. Bryan then side-steps Vickie and tackles Dolph, preventing him from leaving. Bryan then locks in the LaBell Lock, making Dolph tap. Then, the Divas randomly come out and make their way into the ring with Vickie. The Divas surround Vickie and tell her to leave the ring. Gail throws a bucket of glitter at her, then Eve pours it on her. The Divas then seem to be paying way too much attention to Daniel, and they all start to dance with him… and it’s painful.

Anyway, hopefully Captain vs Captain can save RAW… because my head is already spinning.

@bethsharae Oh no! Not glitter!!! #WWE #Raw I guess I should scream all the time at crafts time.

@TKeep123 How can Dolph say this crap with a straight face? (Better check the Wellness policy again!) #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Vickie Guerrero is amazing, why does she need that many zippers? Because fuck you, that’s why!

@Niki_Sushi I don’t know which is more obnoxious – ‘EXCUSE ME!’ or ‘AND I QUOTE!’… #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes: Oh, @WWEDanielBryan, in wrestling you might be best in the world…. at dancing, not so much. LOL

Natalya vs Alicia Fox

Let’s see how short this match is! I’m going to time it!

Alicia slaps Nat a few good times and then tries to shout out to Calgary. Natalya then throws Alicia into the turnbuckle, twice, and then throws her across the ring. Nat tries to go for the Sharpshooter, but Alicia grabs the ropes. Natalya pulls her back, and locks in the Sharpshooter, making Alicia tap.

Natalya wins via submission.

LayCool interferes and says it’s a beautiful moment in a NOT beautiful hometown. LayCool says they would love Canada, but it’s so cold and they have watered down beer, and they say ‘eh’ all the time. And they see Harts everywhere. They say the Harts don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, but in the loony bin. LayCool then starts to go into the ring, but Natalya’s ready. Nat gets Layla, but Michelle comes in. Michelle then puts Natalya in the Sharpshooter, Layla takes a picture, and Natalya counters. Lay tries to help Michelle, and nearly gets put in the Sharpshooter herself. LayCool runs off.

Oh, overall Diva MATCH time, about a minute and fifteen seconds.

Teddy, Show, and Hornswoggle are talking backstage, and Josh Matthews says that it’s rather brazen of them to show up on RAW with Team Smackdown. Hornswoggle grabs a Team Smackdown flag and the entire Smackdown Roster starts heading out.

@kickoutblog If I were The Undertaker and had to listen Michelle McCool talk all the time, I’d want to be buried alive too

@CawCawBang Nattie don’t play along with Laycool’s bullshit

@bethsharae Alicia is gonna throw a hip out if she swings them any harder. #WWE #Raw

@WWEsAngel_Nef God I hate Alicia Fox’s walk. I can’t stand it. She’s gonna break a freaking hip. #WWE

So, the longest part of this show is the Stand Up For WWE video package. So… Yeah.

Oh, we’re back. Cena’s walking away and Barrett stops him, saying he’s not finished with him or Orton yet. There we go. Next up, Team RAW’s captain The Miz will take on Team Smackdown’s captain, The Big Show… and all of Smackdown?

@Niki_Sushi So.. I’m loving this video. Because it’s showing where the WWE goes, and not just on land and the airwaves. They reach hearts-who else does?

@CawCawBang I’m so happy and proud to be a WWE fan

@kickoutblog And “Do you smell what Barack is cookin?” is still amazing. #TheRockObama

@WWEsAngel_Nef LOL God Vince McMahon is good at what he does. Way to do some quick damage control. Nice video package. #WWE

We’re finally going to introduce the guest star, Bobbie J Thompson. Sweet. He says he loves the boos and to keep them coming. He says that he’s there to introduce the man who’s going to leave Team Smackdown to a victory over Team RAW: The Big Show. No, but seriously. Where’s the muzzle on that kid?

Show comes out with Hornswoggle behind him, waving the flag, and Team Smackdown follows him out. Actually, all of Smackdown follows him out.

Miz comes out, but tells Alex Riley to stay behind and walks down to the ring alone. He pauses though, grinning and motioning for everyone else to come out. Team RAW comes out, followed by the RAW roster.

The Big Show vs The Miz

Show closes in on Miz, rips his shirt, and slaps his chest. Show continues to rip up the RAW shirt and slaps his chest again. Show then Irish Whips Miz into a corner, and Show throws him out of the ring. Smackdown closes in, and RAW starts to close in too. Show attacks RAW, and when Smackdown comes in, Show rolls in the ring.

Teddy Long comes out and says that since Bragging Rights is only six days away and everyone from both rosters is out there, he says that they have themselves a Smackdown vs RAW battle royal, and they’re going to do it right now.

Now, I hate reviewing battle royals. So, I hope you watched RAW to figure out what happens, because I’m only going to tell you the winner.

@TKeep123 Ok, I’m old, but the Red and Blue is reminding me of “Rock’em Sock’em Robots!” #WWE #RAW #BWF

Hornswoggle beats Cole up and takes his spot as an announcer, and no one knows what the fuck is going on in the ring. I can’t tell you what’s going on, but Swagger loses his mind and puts Edge in an ankle lock. Toward the end here, a bunch of RAW guys got eliminated and Smackdown is doing a good job holding their own. The last Smackdown guy ends up as The Big Show against Sheamus, Bryan, Jackson, and Miz. Down goes Bryan, then Jackson. Miz and Sheamus work together to get Show over the top rope, and no one remembered Edge wasn’t technically eliminated. So, Edge and Show are the only two left in the ring.

Team Smackdown wins.

Nexus is watching backstage, and Barrett says that all of them, and Cena, are going to witness what’s going to happen Sunday when he’s crowned WWE Champion. Barrett tells Cena to raise his hand as a token of victory. Cena shoves Slater and Gabriel out of the way and raises Barrett’s hand before walking away.

And that’s all she wrote, folks. Daniel Bryan dancing is burned behind my retina, so I’m going to go watch… something to get the image out of my head. Good night.

RAW 10.4.10

October 4, 2010 11:15 pm 2 Comments

Last night was Hell in a Cell! Did John Cena join Nexus? Is Randy Orton still the WWE Champion? Was Daniel Bryan brutally mu-… I’ll leave that one to myself. Find out tonight, as Jackass star, Johnny Knoxville guest stars what is sure to be another amazing Monday Night RAW!

Nexus comes out and talks about their victory at Hell in a Cell. Barrett says the two men who helped were Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, which didn’t surprise anyone. Barrett says he doesn’t know them and they aren’t a part of the Nexus. Barrett then scolds Nexus for going down to the ring and potentially causing him his match. Tonight’s about inducting Cena into Nexus. Please welcome, the newest member of Nexus, John Cena.

He comes out with no music, which is just heartbreaking, to be honest. I’m upset. I wanted to make a joke.

Tarver says the joke is on Cena, because he failed. They have a gift for Cena: The Nexus armband. Cena looks at the arm band and puts it on. Slater says they know the transition’s going to be difficult, but they’re all there for him. The public wants to know exactly what his thoughts are. He says that he will read the official statement they made instead of saying what he wants to. Barrett says it’s not negotiable, and he’ll read it and read it now.

It essentially says that he acknowledges that he’s a member of Nexus, and an enemy of Nexus is an enemy of his. Barrett says that Cena has to participate in a tag match with a partner of his choice against Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. Cena picks Tarver.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. John Cena and Michael Tarver

Cena starts off the match with an offer to shake Bourne’s hand, and they do. Tarver’s pissed about it, but Cena doesn’t look like he cares. Cena then tags in Tarver and climbs out.

@KeepItFiveStar HEY! Where’s your Nexus Shirt Cena?! There’s a dress code damn it! Put it on!

@seraphalexiel I hope both men don’t suddenly get to join. The end of Season 2 was a failure for a reason, and it begins and ends with McGuillicutty

@Niki_Sushi Awwww. His own wittle armband. Are they slowly going to give him different parts to the ‘uniform’ or what? #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Geez, Cena sure likes to pick on the black Nexus guys. Wasn’t content with getting rid of your brother, now he’s going for Tarver. LOL #wwe

@CawCawBang Cena got something planned I don’t like it

@TKeep123 I wonder if Cena gave any secret signals while he was forced to read his (confession) speech. (Viet Nam era folks will get it.) #WWE #RAW

We come back to Tarver getting his ass handed to him by Henry. Cena really doesn’t seem interested in helping Tarver at all, to be honest, even mockingly reaching for a tag. Tarver manages to get toward Cena for a tag, but Cena leans away, and Henry seems amused by it, toying with Tarver. Tarver goes to tag Cena again, but Cena jumps down off the ring and begins signing signs in the crowd. Henry picks up Tarver and hits him with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.

Cena takes a mic after the match and says that he’s gonna make his own statement. As the newest member of Nexus, he plans on doing one thing and one thing only: destroying it from within. Like no one expected that. Tonight, he proves that you can be Nexus and against us. He hits Tarver in the head with the mic, and then body slams Tarver onto the steel steps. Twice. Then he gets Tarver back in the ring and locks in the STF.

“The terms of the stipulation for your match with Wade Barrett stated that if you lost, you must join the Nexus. Now, Nexus is clearly a group that takes direction from its leader, Wade Barrett. And thus as a member of the group, John, you must also take direction from Wade Barrett. If you don’t, as much as I would hate to do it, as much as it would be bad for business, as much as the WWE Universe would despise it, I would have no alternative but to terminate your WWE contract. Mr. Cena, no one man, despite his popularity, is bigger than WWE. In other words, Mr. Cena, I will fire you.”

@FrankWWEClown And who says Cena is boring, and not interesting? Are you watching this?! #WWE #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Cena’s looking at this all wrong. The Nexus have a great benefits package. Family picnics, BBQs, and other fun Nexus activities.

@HitTheRopes We CLEARLY see Michael Cole reading from a paper and NOT the computer screen. #fail #wwe

@TKeep123 For months we can’t keep #NEXUS away from the ring, and now Tarver gets a beat-down and NO NEXUS to be found? #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi Tarver is in Soul Sucking Position! YOU BETTA HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE! #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay. Say what you want marks but John Cena has the best fans. So devoted. I actually love that they chanted ‘Never Give Up’ #WWE

Alicia Fox vs Natalya

No warning on this one at all, but good to see Natalya in the ring. Natalya hits the sharpshooter pretty quick, and Alicia taps. Great 30 second match.

Natalya wins via submission.

WTF? 30 second match, 30 second reminder of the guest star, Johnny Knoxville, and now five minutes of commercials.

@RingsideRants That wasn’t even long enough for a bathroom break!

@CawCawBang wow that was quick

@kickoutblog My thoughts on Natalya vs. Alicia are longer than the actual match

@redsandman99 The good news is, Nattie won. The bad news is, the match was over in five seconds

@JoeyStyles What a match for Nattie…and I thought I finished fast.

Knoxville is talking with Gail and Melina, promoting Jackass 3D. Zack Ryder comes up, and Knox calls him a tool. He offers Ryder a high-five, only for him to get the shit smacked out of him by a giant hand. Knox mocks him a little.

Cena’s backstage with the Nexus armband again, and Josh Matthews comes up, asking what he’s gonna do. Cena says he doesn’t know. Cena suddenly takes off running after Husky and McGuillicutty, and Barrett says that there’s a lot he needs to talk about, concerning his future.

@TKeep123 FIRST time I was ever happy to see Zack Ryder during a Promo! “You know it!”…. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville just wtfpwn’d Zack Ryder without even getting in the ring. I DEMAND WEE-MAN VS HORNSWOGGLE DAMMIT!!!! #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 damn zach ryder got his ass kicked and he aint even in a match #wwe #bwf #raw

Daniel Bryan is in the ring with his crazy ass music. God, I wanna punch him.

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head! … Too many limes, too many limes!

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Sheamus beat the shit out of Bryan. Not even kidding.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via disqualification.

I think. Sheamus hits the High Cross on Daniel after beating the hell out of him. Sheamus climbs out of the ring and starts back up the ring. Dear, God. Was RAW booking only Nexus and Cena tonight? This is ridiculous.

Anyway, Edge makes his way to the ring to supposedly apologize to the computer.

@Niki_Sushi Oh. Damn. Forgot this fruit existed. Daniel Bryan, go awa-nevermind. GO SHEAMUS GO! #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Oh God, it’s the battle of wrestlers who don’t tan!

@KeepItFiveStar Did Daniel Bryan fail a Wellness test or something? Did he piss the Vegan police off? That was weird.

@Niki_Sushi OMFG! Who put a wrestling match in my commercials?! #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar “And THAT’s for fulfilling your indy dates while under contract!” – Sheamus after destroying Daniel Bryan

@TKeep123 Diva match… 90 seconds. Sheamus / Bryan 120 seconds… WTH? #WWE #RAW

And a Video Package of what we just saw, like fifteen seconds ago. Jesus Christ, RAW. I get that Cena joining Nexus is a big deal, but there are other Superstars…

Oh, God, Michael Cole’s in the ring. He’s now going to speak for the General Manager. I guess Stephen Hawking got pissed at the WWE for using his voice. Supposedly, it’s because of the events of the last few weeks, and will now communicate via email. So, the GM hates us all, is what I’m getting.

Awesome.

Before Edge comes out, the GM wants us to see the hilarious, I’m sorry, horrific events of last week.

The destruction of the GM last week was unacceptable. Two things are going to happen: Edge is “going to apologize”, and the GM will make a huge announcement regarding the WWE Championship.

You think you know me…

Edge, of course, says he won’t apologize. He’s on a personal crusade against all things stupid, and around here, there are a lot of things that are stupid. Michael Cole has been the personification of stupid since 1997. He’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole. And if the GM thinks he has attitude, then when Edge becomes WWE Champion, then he’ll see attitude. The GM says that tonight they will decide the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship in a 20-Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royale. Don’t expect me to keep up with that. The winner will face Randy Orton at Bragging Rights. Edge, however, has disrespected the GM one too many times, and won’t be in the battle royal tonight, because the GM has officially traded him to Smackdown.

Edge says it’s the greatest night of his career, because he now doesn’t have to listen to a computer, or this tool say, “And I Quote.” Cole flips out, and everyone boos him. Yeah, good job Cole. Cole says that now that he’s the official voice of the WWE, Edge needs to treat him with respect. Edge asks if he went off RAW after spearing Cole into next week would be respectful.

AWESOME

The Miz and Alex Riley make their way down to the ring. Miz says that Edge will do no such thing. Cole is a visionary, the one person that realized Miz’ awesomeness before anyone else. Cole leaves the ring, tripping. Miz tells him to go back to the announce table. Edge calls Miz an Edge-wannabe. Edge then goes through the checklist of Edge. Miz says that that was an interesting analysis, but they’re nothing alike. Edge says that he’s right, because Edge has been WWE Champion, and has been married, divorced, had a live celebration. He hasn’t even seen Miz talk to a woman, unless you count Alex Riley. Riley says that whether Edge likes it or not, Miz is the future of the WWE. Edge says that Miz is awesome at tapping out to Daniel Bryan.

Miz says that if Edge is trying to agitate Miz, it’s not working. Miz is either going to be competing in a WWE Championship match, or leading RAW into decimating Smackdown. So, why doesn’t Edge go to SyFy and tell all his new Smackdown buddies that he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.

Edge then attacks Miz and Alex Riley, Spearing Alex Riley, only to get a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz.

Cena backstage with Nexus, and Barrett says that Cena did him a favor in attacking Tarver. He wants Cena to help him with tonight’s battle royal. Cena asks what happens if he wins, and Barrett says that he’s ordering Cena to help him win. Otunga sticks his foot in his mouth and gets berated for it, and then tells Cena to either do as he’s told or get fired.

@TKeep123 Michael Cole has to stand on a box to be seen? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@seraphalexiel Fool. Hide yo paper, at least.

@TKeep123 “I’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole!” – Edge #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi That’s….. three or four laptops now? I seriously hope that’s included in the budget… I don’t think Nextel makes laptops. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Hey Otunga, know your role and shut your mouth. #wwe

@bethsharae I love Edge’s crusade. I shall join him. I now destroy all things stupid. #Raw #WWE

Oh, fuck me running… It’s the Bellas.

Nikki and Brie Bella vs. The Unified Divas Champions LayCool

Jesus Christ, someone put a mic on LayCool. My head hurts bad enough right now… I have no idea what the fuck is going on, okay? I don’t even care anymore. Oh, and there goes the Switcheroo again. Someone kill me. Seriously.

Nikki and Brie Bella win via the same old shit… er, pinfall.

Maryse is backstage, talking to Knox. He says that he doesn’t speak Spanish, and she accuses him of sending the messages. Ted then walks up and accuses him too, and Ted walks right into the huge hand. Maryse throws her shoes at Knox, and then Maryse is hit by the hand and lands right on top of Ted. Knox is apologizing repeatedly, and then runs away from a very pissed looking Ted.

@StrikerSays Are you serious. You just put the BELLAS over your champion. What is this fuckery.

@KeepItFiveStar This match is already longer than Natalya vs Alicia Fox

@ThingsColeSays They have found a way to make LayCool ever more annoying. Well done.

@inkincisions WHAT IS UP WITH DIVAS AND THROWING SHOES ?!?!?!?!?!

@divadirt LMAO! Maryse continues the shoe-throwing trend only to get hit by a giant hand. There’s a very un-PG joke in there somewhere. #WWE

@legendkiller515 that big ass hand is funny #wwe #raw #bwf

Please welcome the guest star of RAW, Johnny Knoxville. Oh, Jackass 3D is in theaters October 15^th. Yes, let’s put Knoxville in the ring. Because that went so well last time.

Knoxville’s talking really fast, is obviously freaked out by DiBiase coming after him, and tries to leave before he does. Too bad, because he’s here…

Knox says that he was just trying to make Maryse laugh, like Ted does… And proceeds to make a fool out of himself. Then smacks the taste out of Knox’s mouth. Then, it looks like he’s trying for Dreamstreet, but Knox just lays there like a limp noodle. Another message comes over the tron: You are mine. Goldust attacks DiBiase, and Maryse just stands there.

Goldust then tells DiBiase he doesn’t want him, obviously, and walks over to Maryse, who seems to be trying hard not to laugh. He does, however, say that he doesn’t want Maryse. What he wants, is the Million Dollar Belt. Only Goldust would send love notes to a belt. Seriously.

Next up: The 20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal.

Here are all the guys I think I saw. I’ll fix it as I can:

John Cena, Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz, William Regal, David Otunga, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Zack Ryder. That’s all I managed to catch, but I’ll do the best I can.

@HitTheRopes It’s amazing how great Raw started and where we are now. #wwe

@kickoutblog OMG IT IS GOLDUST! HE WANTS THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE!

@ThingsColeSays Hey Johnny, there’s a new joke going around have you heard it? What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAPPPPPPPPPP!

@StrikerSays So happy for the return of BIZARRE Goldie. He had dialed down to just “odd.”

King and Cole remind us that a shitload of stuff has happened… if you’ve been watching, you know. If not, scroll up. I’m tired of repeating the same shit.

And Cena’s backstage, brooding over the arm band. Otunga walks up and says that he knows he’s upset. He wants to tell Cena that Nexus isn’t all bad. Barrett is a bit demanding sometimes, but deep down, they can make it work. Cena may feel like this is the end, but it’s not. If Cena ever needs to talk, Otunga’s there for him. Just let him know.

Cole opens his mouth and reminds us of what we’ve already seen. It’s okay, Cole. I have the memory of a goldfish. Thanks a bunch, man.

Twenty Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal

Fuck keeping up with this, so here’s who in the damn match. I’ll just tell you who wins, because it’s easier.

Participants: John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, David Otunga, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Darren Young, and Primo.

@KeepItFiveStar CENA! WHERE’S YOUR SHIRT! You had time!

@bethsharae …. Truth doesn’t get to sing anymore?! HELL YES!!! #Raw #WWE

@HitTheRopes Otunga, don’t you pay attention!? Darren Young, Michael Tarver. What do they AND you have in common? Stay far from Cena. LOLZ #wwe

@legendkiller515 once again no one understands what the hell r-truth is saying in his damn songs #wwe #raw #bwf

Found all the damn contestants. I don’t know what’s going on… Don’t make me figure it all out. Cena eliminated Otunga, and now Barrett yells at him for it. Nexus just argues in the middle of the ring, and no one is aware of it, apparently. God, idiocy.

@KeepItFiveStar Why is Mark Henry asking why? Did he not see the first 10 minutes of the show?

@HitTheRopes I always wish for something unexpected like Santino to win something like this. #wwe

@kickoutblog Why the hell is Darren Young in this match?

@Niki_Sushi I look up to see Nexus, and totally went ‘GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!’ #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 this is the oddest collection of #raw superstars for a battle royal ive ever seen. most of them dont belong in this match #wwe #bwf

I don’t’ know what I’m supposed to say. The outcome was obvious.

Wade Barrett wins.

But, cutting his victory celebration short is none other than the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, who makes his way right up to the ring and right inside, like Barrett ain’t nothing. Which, he probably isn’t. Insert epic staredown, Randy holding up the title, and thus, RAW ends.

Proud of myself for getting this finished for you all tonight, even with a headache and some weird ass dizziness. Anyway, until next week!

RAW 9.27.10

September 27, 2010 11:15 pm 4 Comments

Hello, everyone! Terribly sorry about not getting a review up for last week’s RAW, but things were really hectic. Anyway, I’m back tonight, and you can bet there’s gonna be a review up this week!

If you didn’t know it by now, Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion following Night of Champions! And at Hell in a Cell this Sunday, he’s got his hands full with Sheamus in a one on one rematch for the WWE Champion. But, this week? He’s got his hands full with Chris Jericho as they compete. And if Chris wins? Well, if Chris wins, Randy Orton will give Chris a title opportunity whenever he wants it.

AWESOME

Miz and Alex Riley get to the ring tonight, and Miz says that Daniel Bryan challenged him and Alex Riley to a tag team match. Didn’t Bryan learn his lesson last week? Bryan’s like the guy who wins a hundred million dollars in the lottery and thinks he’s gonna win every time he plays. What happens every Monday night? Bryan gets embarrassed by The Miz. And on tonight’s episode, he’s bringing a tag team partner to join in on the fun. So, come one, come all, and join in on the beatdown!

Daniel Bryan’s music plays, and Miz asks if that’s really his music. Then, he asks who Daniel’s tag team partner is, and if he even has any friends. Miz is interrupted in his catchphrase yet again by John Morrison’s music.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and John Morrison vs Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz and Alex Riley

Bryan and Riley start out, with Bryan getting the momentum early. He goes for an early cover, but Riley kicks out. Bryan tags in Morrison, but Riley attacks back. Morrison gets the advantage, however, and Riley drops him into the top rope. Riley keeps the advantage over Morrison as Miz is in the ring. Miz then drops Morrison right into the bottom rope. Miz gets covered, but kicks out. Miz manhandles Morrison, then backs up to have Riley come up. Riley stomps on Morrison in the corner before the ref pulls him out. Riley then drops Morrison and goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Miz gets tagged in, and hits a swinging corner clothesline on Morrison before going for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out. Morrison goes for a tag, but when he jumps up, Miz catches him. Miz misses a clothesline and dives for Bryan, but Miz grabs his leg and goes to pull him back, only to get a kick in the face. Morrison finally tags Bryan in, and Miz misses a clothesline as Bryan takes out Riley and hits a dropkick on Miz. He goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Bryan goes for the Labelle Lock but Miz counters with Skull Crushing Finale. Miz pins him for the cover.

The Miz and Alex Riley win via pinfall.

Miz attacks Bryan after the match, but Morrison comes to his rescue, and Bryan takes out both Morrison and the Miz. Morrison pulls Bryan off of Miz, but Bryan attacks Morrison. Morrison attacks Bryan, then Miz goes back to attacking Bryan, and then Morrison jumps on them both.

“I’ve decided that this Sunday, at Hell in a Cell, for the first time ever, Daniel Bryan will defend the United States Championship against both John Morrison and The Miz. But it will be defended in a match that I just invented: A Triple Threat Submissions Count Anywhere Match.”

@legendkiller515 since when was hell in the cell an important pay per view #wwe #raw #bwf

@ _MFS_ Can King please read the emails? Cole already talks WAY too much #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Damn Tamina. What’d the O-Zone Layer do to you?

@kickoutblog KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! #danielfudd

@bethsharae Yep, Miz and Riley will win this one. I’m already calling it. Morrison has once like once or twice against Miz since they broke up. #Raw

Divas Battle Royal for the Number One Contender for the Unified Diva’s Championship

I see Melina, the Bellas, Eve, Gail, Jillian, Maryse, Alicia, Tamina, and Natalya. Then LayCool comes on out to sit ringside. I’m not even going to try to keep up with this cluster fuck.

Natalya wins.

Good to finally see Natalya get her chance. Anywho, didn’t pay attention to the match. I hate Divas Battle Royals.

Later tonight, Edge has The General Manager on The Cutting Edge.

@kickoutblog Finally, a talented female athlete challenging for the Divas Title, are my eyes deceiving me?

@_MFS_ Okay, so they surprised me there, a Diva with actual fucking talent actually won, good job for once #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Yeah…. Officially fucking sick of LayCool. Michelle needs to go the hell away so Layla – who has talent – can shine. Skank. #BWF #RAW

Maryse is backstage with Ted, upset that Eve cost her the battle royal. Ted says he doesn’t care about the battle royal, and that she cost them the match last week. Someone knocks on the door and slips an envelope under the door. Maryse opens it and it reads, “Next week, you will be mine.”

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head!! TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

Sheamus says that we may have heard of some kind of Irish tale about two princes who had to race to get the throne of Ireland. The first prince to put his hand on the kingdom became the new king. As it came to a close, the younger of the two princes knew he was about to lose, so he cut off his hand and threw it at the castle. It made him the king of Ireland. Sheamus says he’s willing to cut off his own hand to win back the WWE Title. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Orton has underestimated Sheamus, and Sheamus should talk to Triple H because Sheamus ended Triple H’s career. In that cell, Sheamus is going to have the time of his life. But, right now, he wants to call out any WWE Superstar with a set of tires to face him. But, if they do, not only will they find out why he’s a future three-time WWE Champion, but why he’s also the fiery red hand of the WWE.

@Niki_Sushi I’m waiting for i- there it was. Fella. And I quote: VINTAGE SHEAMUS!

@TKeep123 Mysterious “I WILL HAVE YOU” message….gotta be from GoldDust! #WWE #RAW

@ThingsColeSays Does “fiery red hand of WWE” mean Sheamus has herpes of the hand or something? Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!

@_MFS_ Sheamus, cutting off hands is not PG #WWE #RAW #BWF

We come back, and Sheamus says that it’s not a surprise that no one back there is man enough to take him on. Then, of course, the Great Khali comes out.

Sheamus vs The Great Khali

Khali slaps Sheamus’ chest, and Sheamus proceeds to beat Khali to the ground. Sheamus then kicks Khali in the head and out of the ring. Outside the ring, he proceeds to beat Khali up as the ref counts. He takes the top off the announce table and beats Khali with it, then stealing Jerry’s chair, and then Cole’s chair. The bell has rung at this point, but Sheamus just keeps throwing chairs.

The Great Khali wins via disqualification.

Sheamus then gets Khali up, but Khali pushes him into the turn buckle, but gets a Brogue Kick for his troubles. He goes to get up, but gets another Brogue Kick.

Up next, Edge has the RAW General Manager on the Cutting Edge!

@KeepItFiveStar Every week I hope The Great Khali finally made that trip back to India. And every week I’m disappointed.

@bethsharae Dang Sheamus! One bonus of being so white, any amount of Red just glows. #Raw

@TKeep123 WOW!!! The hand print on Sheamus’ chest is amazing!!! #WWE #RAW

@kickoutblog If I had Khali’s hand tattooed on my chest, I’d be pissed too

You think you know me…

The whole podium is in the ring. If Cole reads the whole thing, I’m going to spaz… Really hard. I kind of wish Cole would get punched in the face. I’d take Josh Matthews over him.

Edge says that tonight is a first. The RAW GM is the guest. Edge does appreciate the GM agreeing to show up on the show. The computer will generate a voice (thank God), to keep this person’s identity a secret. Edge asks why he is such a spineless coward. The GM asks why Edge is such a moron. The GM remains anonymous to protect his identity. If people knew who he was, it’d change everything. Edge says that’s the worst voice ever. He thought he was Stone Cold, the Rock, Shawn Michaels, Bob Barker, or Lindsay Lohan after another bender. The only thing Edge knows is that whoever he is, he is a big fat liar. The GM says seriously, Edge, you hurt his feelings. Why do you have to hate, yo. He tried to make peace with him, but he wants confrontation. Why does Edge despise the GM? Edge asks why the GM despises him, and then asks why he’s arguing with a computer. Edge says that’s it. He’s gonna go ask Chris Jericho exactly who the GM is. The GM says Jericho is bluffing, but the GM knows a lot of things… Like Edge’s opponent. Right now.

Insert Stephen Hawking laughter.

Edge says that he doesn’t have an opponent, and he’s done talking to an overgrown Speak ‘N Spell, and he’s out. The GM says that he does have a match tonight, because the GM has scheduled a match between Edge and this man…

BRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER POO!

@HitTheRopes Edge, when you start arguing with a computer, you know it’s time to leave Raw. Come back to Smackdown, yo

@ThingsColeSays Edge is right. The state of Raw these days.

@KeepItFiveStar Is the GM JTG? JTGM?

@Grotessk The RAW GM is T-Pain.

@_MFS_ It’s okay Edge, I argue with my computer at work all day too #WWE #RAW #BWF

John Cena vs Edge

Nexus is watching backstage. Big surprise.

Anyway, Cena gets the early advantage, but Edge punches that out of him. Cena hits Edge with a drop toe-hold, but Edge kicks him out of the ring. Cena starts to try to get back in the ring, but Edge hits a baseball slide and kicks him right back out. Edge Irish whips Cena into the steel steps, then rolls into the ring to break the count. I missed what happened, but I saw Cena go for an Attitude Adjustment, and Edge counter. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Edge keeps the advantage, punching his face as the ref tries to get him to back up. Cena begins to fight back, ducking a clothesline, hitting a flying shoulder tackle before Edge stops him. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Edge gets Cena in a corner, then Irish whips him across the ring. Edge goes for a suplex, but Cena counters it with one of his own. Cena gets up and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge counters again and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out again. The crowd starts a “Let’s Go Cena, Let’s Go Edge” chant as Cena wakes up and starts fighting back a little more. Cena gets up on the second rope and tries to get an Attitude Adjustment again, but Edge jumps down and hits a spear on Cena by the ropes, covering him. Cena’s leg was under the rope, however, and Edge thinks he just won cleanly. But, the GM hates him, so here’s the email!

Edge wins via pinfall.

“You need to play by the rules. John Cena’s foot was clearly under the bottom rope. See for yourself. Therefore, this match will continue.”

Told ya.

Edge then runs back and starts punching Cena in the head. Edge goes for the Spear again, but Cena counters with the STF. Edge almost gets to the rope, but Cena pulls him back to the center of the ring. Edge taps.

John Cena wins via submission.

Edge climbs out of the ring and starts slowly toward the computer.

“Edge, you lost fair and square. Don’t look at me like that. Just walk away.”

Edge stops, and looks at the computer again, only for the computer to ask him what he’s doing. The computer says that Edge has the crazy eyes and he’s warning him. Then, Edge knocks over the podium, and breaks the laptop in half, then beats it with a chair, then with his head. Obviously, Edge is pissed.

@ThingsColeSays THAT’S WHY YOU HOOK BOTH LEGS, BOYS AND GIRLS. There’s a lesson to be learned here.

@bethsharae ….There is not instant replay in wrestling! Go away General Manager! #WWE #Raw

@HitTheRopes LOL, the Raw GM was injured. The #WWE had to find a way to write him out of the storyline.

@kickoutblog “Edge… you have the crazy eyes” might be my favorite WWE line since “malignant fist.”

@KeepItFiveStar OH NO! CHAIRSHOTS TO THE GM’S HEAD!

@TKeep123 Edge lays the RAW SMACKDOWN on the computer GM laptop. Edge 1 : GM 0 #WWE #RAW

@_MFS_ Yay! Dead computer! Man I wish I could do that to the crappy computers where I work! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@TeamNakedBaby Edge just killed Stephen Hawking 😀

Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater vs Mark Henry and Evan Bourne

Evan and Heath start out, Heath getting a good grip on Bourne pretty early. He already tags in Gabriel, who goes for a cover only for Bourne to kick out. Gabriel tags Slater back in and Slater hits a knee drop on Bourne and goes for a cover. Slater keeps momentum over Bourne, until he misses a clothesline and Bourne hits a high knee to Slater’s face. Slater tags in Gabriel, and Henry comes in off the tag too. Henry proceeds to deliver some hard hits to Gabriel, and downs Slater when he tries to help, then drops Gabriel on his stomach. Henry tags in Bourne, who is then taken out by Gabriel, after Slater takes out Henry. Gabriel climbs to the top rope now, and attempts the 450 Splash on Bourne, who manages to avoid it. Bourne goes to the top, and hits Air Bourne. He goes for the cover and Slater rolls them over so Gabriel pins Bourne.

Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel win via pinfall.

Nexus launches Mark Henry into the steel steps and then climb into the ring to get Evan. Otunga delivers a clothesline to Bourne, Tarver punches him hard, Slater just takes him down with some move (his trunks are sparkly and distracting), and then Barrett lifts him up, hitting Wasteland on Bourne. Tarver and Barrett move Bourne, and Gabriel hits a successful 450 Splash.

Barrett gets a mic and says that Nexus has said from the very beginning that you’re either Nexus, or you’re against us. After Hell in a Cell, Cena will no longer be “against us”, because when Barrett beats him, he will become property of Nexus. It’s not like they need him, but Cena’s going to serve a purpose. Cena’s going to take them to the upper something, and help them demoralize the entire WWE. Just to show Cena that being a part of the Nexus isn’t all bad, they’ve decided that they’re going to take a little trip. Otunga takes the mic and says that they’re invading Smackdown Friday. Unlike RAW, they’re giving all the superstars on Smackdown a fair warning. Tarver takes the mic and says the bad news is that they are the bad news. None of you can stop them.

@kickoutblog Please, please, please let us get some high flying insanity with Bourne and Gabriel.

@TKeep123 Mark Henry becomes the World’s Strongest Yard Dart at the hands of Nexus! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@HitTheRopes Anybody else find Wade Barrett’s face eerily similar to that of a rat?

Next week, Johnny Knoxville is the guest star. Remembering how bad it was last time, this’ll be fun.

The Hart Dynasty with Natalya vs The WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes for the WWE Tag Team Championship

I admit that I like typing Dashing in front of Cody Rhodes’ name. And that’s all I’ll say about that. Promise.

Tyson and Rhodes start out. Rhodes sends Kidd out to the apron, but Kidd jumps right back in and goes for a cover, only for Rhodes to kick out. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, and they hurl Kidd into the turnbuckle. McIntyre gets Kidd up by his head and tags in Rhodes. Rhodes hits Kidd, tags in McIntyre, and then Irish whips him right into McIntyre’s clothesline. McIntyre goes for a move, but Kidd kicks him in the head. McIntyre tags in Rhodes and Smith is tagged in too. Smith hits Rhodes with some hard this, and then knees him in the face. Rhodes is then dominated to the ground, Smith going for a cover only for McIntyre to interfere and then get knocked out of the ring. The Hart Dynasty go for the Hart Attack, but McIntyre pushes Kidd off early. Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the win.

Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

Smith asks why Kidd hit him from behind, and the two argue with Natalya trying to get them to stop. Smith walks away after shoving Kidd.

Up next, Chris Jericho will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton.

@kickoutblog Uh Cole, all wrestlers shave their legs.

@seraphalexiel Everytime they play Cody’s song instead of Drew’s, someone kicks a puppy around. Stop puppy violence

@TKeep123 I wonder if Cody and Drew take turns shaving each other!…. Those boys be smooth! #WWE #RAW

@HitTheRopes Just what #WWE needs to do: break up an ACTUAL tag team. smh

@Niki_Sushi You know you hit hard when Drew McIntyre does a Gollum Crawl to the ropes. #BWF #RAW

Cena and Truth backstage. Truth says no matter what happens on Sunday, truth is, he always has Cena’s back. Cena says he knows what’s at stake, and he’s going to take Nexus out one by one. Truth tells him to be careful, and Cena says that he’s always careful. Truth says he’s one of the most reckless people he knows. Cena says he is, but Nexus, since they’re going to the premiere of Smackdown on Friday, maybe he should be there, and if they run into each other, then Hell in a Cell starts early.

Break the walls down!

Chris says that when he wins this match tonight, he will be the number one contender, and will go on to win the WWE Championship, do you understand what he is saying to you right now? He’ll be the first to admit that Orton is a dangerous man, but he’s not scared. He’s changed from the fresh upstart he was when he first started to a deranged lunatic who has done whatever he could to become champion. He is a viper. He thinks, strikes, and acts like a snake, whenever he wants when he hits the RKO. But, much like Randy used to call himself the Legend Killer, Chris is going to call himself the Viper Killer, and will strike the head of the snake right here, and Orton will join the ranks of Hall of Famers and Legends who have been beaten by him. The list starts and continues, but a commercial interrupts.

@bethsharae Did R-Truth just call Cena “Crunk”? #raw

@KeepItFiveStar “U da moss reckless. Moss gettin crunk person. I KNOW!” – R-Truth (What??)

@kickoutblog I write the most gettin’ crunk Raw reviews. And that’s the truth

@HitTheRopes Every time R-Truth sets foot in front of a #WWE camera I feel the black race is set back decades “Most getting crunk person…” #facepalm

@seraphalexiel DID THEY JUST CUT OFF JERICHO???? SOMEONE NEED TO GET FIRED

@CawCawBang Word of the day is Crunk

@_MFS_ Ummm interrupting someone who can actually cut a promo with commercials? Not cool #WWE, not cool at all #RAW #BWF

We come back to Jericho’s list continuing, still. By the way, gonna plug here. Got Jericho’s DVD in the mail today, and it is amazing. Worth every penny. Trust me. Get it!

I hear voices in my head…

Anyway, the list is interrupted by Randy’s entrance.

Chris Jericho vs WWE Champion Randy Orton

Jericho starts off the match with a strong kick to Orton’s stomach. He gets Orton in the corner and delivers some solid hits before Irish whipping Orton across the ring only to run into a clothesline. Orton hits back at Jericho, however, dropping his knee into Jericho’s face. He hits an uppercut on Jericho, who’s hanging out of the ring on the apron, and then climbs back in. Jericho hits a slap on Orton to get him out of his face, and then kicks Orton right in the shoulder. He taunts Orton, calling him a stupid man, his new favorite insult, before Orton starts hitting back again. Orton Irish whips Jericho, who holds onto the ropes, and then is clotheslined out of the ring. Orton walks out with him and Irish whips Jericho, who reverses, and whips Orton into the barrier.

@HitTheRopes ARMBAR!!!!! #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Wow…. was @IAmJericho seriously listing people off that whole time? Elephant memory he has. #BWF #RAW

@Lagana Has WWE mentioned and promoted more TNA people tonight then TNA usually does?

@WellYoureWrong …MOSS COVERED THREE HANDLED FAMILY GREDUNZA #1004opponents #wwe

@legendkiller515 damn jericho is naming everyone he beat. #classic #wwe #raw #bwf

We come back to Orton stomping on Jericho, and Sheamus walks out from behind the curtain to watch the match. Orton sees him and pauses his methodical beat down of Jericho’s legs to stare at him. Jericho gets to his feet and goes for a clothesline, but Orton ducks and Jericho hits and insagari before hitting Orton’s neck against the bottom rope after a failed cover. Orton gets up and attempts the RKO, but Jericho counters into a backslide, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho goes for another cover after a dropkick, but Orton kicks out. Jericho gets Orton in a headlock. Orton fights out of it, and runs right into a dropkick. Jericho goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two again. Jericho drops his knee in Orton’s face, and then goes for another cover, only for Orton to kick out again. Jericho gets Orton in a submission, but Orton fights out, delivering a back breaker to Jericho. Orton gets up and watches Jericho, taking him down with clotheslines, and a scoop slam. He then backs Jericho into the corner and Irish whips him. Jericho puts his foot in Orton’s face when Orton runs at him, and then misses a Lionsault. Orton hits the backbreaker and goes for the RKO, only for Jericho to drop him. Jericho hits the Lionsault this time and goes for a cover, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho gets up and kicks Orton in the stomach, but Orton goes for the DDT from the second rope. Jericho counters it and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Orton reaches for the bottom rope, however, but Jericho pulls him back to the center of the ring. Orton reverses it and knocks Jericho out of the ring. Jericho goes right back in, and then this the DDT from the second rope.

Block of test is huge, so here’s a break.

Orton drops down to his knees, and Sheamus misses a clothesline on Orton and the ref calls for the bell. Orton then hits the DDT from the second rope on Sheamus. Orton starts to go for a punt, but Jericho hits the Code Breaker on Orton instead. Jericho grabs a chair and climbs back in the ring, telling Orton to get up. Jericho says he’s gonna knock Orton’s head off, but Jericho misses with the chair and Orton hits the RKO on Jericho. Orton then punts Jericho in the head. Sheamus looks terrified that he actually did it, however.

Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. One wild RAW. Decent lead up to Hell in a Cell, I think, so we’ll see what happens! ‘Til next week!

RAW 9.6.10

September 6, 2010 11:17 pm 1 Comment

I know it’s been a while since I did a RAW review, and I’m sorry. But! I finally have my laptop back, the storm that was here that I thought was going to prevent me from doing this has passed, and I’m in a pretty damn good mood! So, without any further ado, let’s get this thing done, shall we?!

Nexus is already standing in the ring as RAW comes on the air. Barrett says that it is fitting that tonight’s RAW is in D.C., the site of so many historic rallies and speeches. Last week, Barrett said that the Nexus would do something that would be talked about forever, and that’s exactly what happened. They single-handedly, systematically destroyed a WWE institution: The Undertaker.

Otunga says that attacking the Undertaker should put to rest any doubts about the Nexus, and they are the new Phenoms of the WWE. They trimmed the fat with Young, lost Sheffield to injury, and still managed to have the greatest night of their lives. Tarver says that if anyone had done anything as unprecedented, no, if anything could do it, then they would probably sit back and savor that moment for the rest of their lives. But not Nexus. T hey weren’t finished. Later that night, they took out five of RAW’s top Superstars. Matter of fact, Edge and Jericho were so scared, they took themselves out of the match because they wanted nothing to do with Nexus. You know what happened next. Heath says that what happened next was that Slater pinned Sheamus. He repeats this for the people in the cheap seats.

Justin takes the mic and tells him to calm down and well done. But he’s done something more impressive: who in the WWE can say they’ve delivered their finisher to Undertaker and Cena in the same night? He can. First, he hit the Undertaker with a 450. And then later, the same night, he did it again.

What was that, the third time Gabriel’s hit that on Cena? Every time he hits it, it gets more and more satisfying. Cena can see Gabriel, crashing down on his lifeless body over, and over, and over, and over again. Barrett takes the mic back and says that after all that, he personally de-venomized the Viper. He pinned Randy Orton, and that’s just a taste of what’s to come in the WWE. In two weeks, at Night of Champions, he will beat Orton, Cena, Sheamus, Jericho, and Edge to bring the WWE Championship to the Nexus. Mark his words, it will be historic, it will be ground-breaking, and it will be everything he has said-

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

Randy walks onto the stage, a mic in hand. He asks if they want to know what he took away last week. The fact that he took out two of Nexus in less than thirty seconds, but Barrett’s not gonna roll footage of that, is he? Don’t worry, Orton will just do it again. He doesn’t care who he has to pin at Night of Champions to win the title, but rest assured, he’s going to make it his business to hit Barrett with an RKO. Barrett says it’s real tough, and says that if he wants to be a tough guy, he can come in the ring to try to give him an RKO. Randy starts a little down the ramp.

And I quote: “Last week was indeed a historic night for Nexus, as a unit. But tonight, we’ll find out how some of the members fare individually. Tonight, for the first time ever, the master of the 450 Splash, the South-African Sensation, Justin Gabriel, will face John Cena. In addition, Randy Orton, you won’t have to wait until Night of Champions to see if you can hit an RKO on Wade Barrett, because tonight, for the first time ever, the former Bare-Knuckle Champion, the fearless leader of Nexus, Wade Barrett, will go one on one with Randy Orton. Oh, and gentlemen, one more thing: To insure that both matches are fair, Nexus is banned from ringside tonight.”

@KeepItFiveStar It took Randy Orton a few years, but he finally found his smile. I think Shawn Michaels is still looking for his.

@RingsideRants This anonymous Raw GM thing has run its course. Time to reveal who it is, which will likely be a disappointment.

Break the walls down!

And I quote: “Last week, when Chris Jericho and Edge took themselves out of the main event, it was a slap in the face to the WWE Universe as well as to me, the general manager, thus there will be appropriate consequences. Thus, if Chris Jericho and Edge do not win their respective matches, they will be taken out of the six-pack challenge at Night of Champions. And Chris Jericho, your opponent, is this man.”

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison

Jericho takes early control over Morrison, throwing him around the ring. Morrison gets a close cover, but Jericho kicks out. Jericho misses, and Morrison goes for another failed cover. Jericho knocks him down and goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Jericho throws Morrison out of the ring and begins yelling at Cole and Lawler, asking who the GM is.

@bethsharae So Jericho vs Morrison… does this mean Edge vs Truth later? Because you know they treat Morrison and Truth like twins. #Raw #WWE

@_MFS_ Do they really expect me to believe Jericho is going to lose to Morrison? Cause I’m not buying it for even a second #WWE #RAW #BWF

We come back to Jericho holding Morrison in the ring in a headlock. Morrison fights out, but Jericho keeps the control, dropping Morrison back on the mat. Jericho pins, but Morrison kicks out at two. Jericho continues to question as to who the general manager is before going back to beat Morrison. Morrison gets momentum back and drops Jericho with a couple of clotheslines, and then a spinning kick, backbreaker, cover. Jericho kicked out at two. Morrison hits Jericho with a couple of hard kicks, and Jericho attempts to go for Walls of Jericho. Jericho drops Morrison after that, and Jericho misses a Lionsault. Morrison hits a flash kick and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho drops Morrison face first onto the mat, and nearly this the Codebreaker, but Morrison holds onto the ropes. Morrison attempts the running knee, but Jericho moves and goes for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out. He hits Morrison with an insagari and goes for another cover, only for Morrison to kick out. Jericho smacks Morrison around a little bit, mocking him as well, before Irish Whipping him across the ring and running shoulder first into the pole. Morrison misses with Starship Pain, and Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho. Morrison fights toward the ropes, grabs the bottom rope. Jericho lets go and yells at the ref before kicking Morrison out of the ring. He lures Morrison up to the top rope and goes for a suplex, but Morrison knocks him out. Morrison hits Starship Pain and pins Chris for the victory.

John Morrison wins via pinfall.

Jericho is now out of the main event at Night of Champions, and he stays in the ring for a minute after the match. He climbs out of the ring and sits on the steps for a minute, before he walks up the ramp. The crowd has started a Y2J chant as he walks up.

Later tonight, Justin Gabriel will take on John Cena for the first time ever, and Randy Orton and Wade Barrett will square off.

@KeepItFiveStar I know the Danielson fans will disagree but, Chris Jericho truly is the Best In The World.

@Niki_Sushi So… just watching @IAmJericho almost made me bawl. He’s one of the few people that can, just by being silent.

@dasharpshooters “I KNOW YOU KNOW!” #wwe #raw #bwf

Diva’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox for the Diva’s Championship

Alicia comes out with the mic and says that Melina wont’ be competing at Night of Champions, because if anyone’s going to be the “undefined” champion of divas, it will be her, and not Melina. I think Alicia went to leave at some point, and Melina just yanked her ass back in the ring. But, as I expected, Melina retains with that Sunset Split thing she does.

Diva’s Champion Melina retains via pinfall.

Miz looks at something underneath a cover, and says that tonight is all about The Miz. Josh goes to look and Miz smacks his hand, before telling him to get away from him. Miz says that tonight, everyone will see the Road of Awesome.

@_MFS_ The ‘Undefined’ champion? Really? They let her have a mic why? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@dasharpshooters Alicia Fox, people one follow you on twitter so they can laugh at your botched lame tweets. #wwe #raw #bwf

@HitTheRopes It’s okay Alicia, you can be my undefined champ any day. #wwe

@IAmJHPunk I wanna be the UN……defined CHAMPION! #wwe #raw #bwf

@seraphalexiel At Night of Champions, it’ll be Alicia Fox vs Jeremy Piven for the Undefined Championship. Piven wanted to do Summerfest, but alas

Backstage, Edge and Ryder are talking. Edge says that Jericho lost and he shouldn’t have to give up his spot. Edge says that he shoved the ref because he was saying derogatory things under his breath about Edge’s mom, and Edge loves his mom. Ryder says that he loves Edge’s mom too, and he should be Edge’s opponent tonight. Edge says that it’s great because Ryder sucks. Edge says that he wants the general manager to accept Ryder’s challenge, and if he doesn’t, then he’s going to have major problems with his top superstar. And, if Ryder’s music doesn’t play, then the computer is going to be smashed into a million pieces.

Ted is talking to his mom on the phone and Maryse comes in. She says me too, and he asks what’s going on. Maryse says that she went to get her purse and found his note. The note says ‘I want you so bad’, and Ted says he didn’t write it. Why would he write it when he could just tell her, and how would she know it’s for her? What if it was for him? She starts going off in French and he says no French, and he doesn’t understand her. Then, she keeps going, and he says he’s walking away.

Up next, Justin Gabriel takes on John Cena.

@ThingsColeSays LOL. DiBiase on Maryse speaking French: “We talked about this!”

Next week, RAW Roulette returns for the first time in nearly three years, apparently. Awesome.

Justin Gabriel vs. John Cena

Gabriel and Cena lock up, but Cena just flings Gabriel away from him. Cena seems to be mocking Gabriel a little, but Gabriel gets him in an armbar, only for Cena to turn it back on him, getting him in a headlock between his thighs. Cena smacks Justin’s chest before letting him go, and Gabriel gets some sharp hits in, taking momentum back. Cena starts to get momentum, but he runs right into an elbow from Gabriel and Cena is outside the ring. Gabriel went for a cover, but Cena kicked out at two. Gabriel this him a few times, and goes for another cover, but Cena kicks out again. Gabriel throws himself into Cena and then hits a cross body into a cover, only for Cena to kick out at two. Gabriel hits a Russian leg sweep, then locks a submission on Cena. Cena lifts Gabriel, but Gabriel counters once more, going for a pin, only for Cena to kick out at two after a gut wrench power bomb. Gabriel went for a moonsault, but Cena moved out of the way. Shoulder knockdowns turn the tide of the match in Cena’s favor before Cena sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He hits it, and gets Gabriel up on his shoulders, only for Gabriel to hit another leg sweep, dragging Cena to the corner. Gabriel goes up, but Cena is on his feet and hitting Gabriel. Cena climbs up and hits an Attitude Adjustment from the ropes, covering Gabriel for the win.

John Cena wins via pinfall.

@RingsideRants I take back what I said about Gabriel. He’s pulling out some nice moves tonight.

AWESOME!

Miz is in the ring, along with the easel with a drape. Miz says his name is Mike Mizanin, and he has no right to be there. At least, that’s what he was told six years ago, when he was a reality TV star. So, he had to start at the bottom to make his way up to the top, starting out on Tough Enough. He started hearing the voices of Superstars while on Tough Enough, of legends, of fans, asking why he was there. The fact was, Miz refused to leave, of cave into the pressure, and he moved on. He did whatever he had to do get a job. He became the host of Smackdown. He says he could have done better, but the voices just got louder. Instead of asking him to leave, they were telling him to leave, saying he had no talent, there’s no respect for him, that he didn’t belong. Then he formed Be Jealous, and everyone said that he was riding Morrison’s coattails, and if they split, Miz would be gone. But, they did split, and Miz became the United States Champion. But, it still wasn’t good enough, and they called it a fluke. Then, he became Mister Money in the Bank. So, the man that was shunned, can be looked at as the biggest star in the entire company, which leads him to the drape. He asks for a drum roll, and pulls off the cloth to reveal his WWE Magazine cover.

Why is this such a big deal? Because as a child, Miz bought every issue. He’d put them in his bedroom, and dream of getting the cover. Now, it’s happened. Now that it’s happened, he wants to hear it, from the kids, the men, the women, from every single person in the arena. He wants them to stand up, and admit that they were wrong. Miz says he’s the poster child, not Cena, not Orton, him. They can’t deny it, they can’t hide from it. Everyone watching has no choice but to admit that we were wrong, because he’s the Miz, and he has earned the right to say he’s awesome.

Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring. Daniel says hi, and that his name is Daniel Bryan. He tells him to relax and says he’s going to congratulate Miz. They have a lot in the common. No one ever thought Daniel would make it, and Miz says that he hasn’t made it, and hasn’t accomplished anything. Daniel says he’s right. He’s clearly not the superstar Miz is. He just came out to generic rock music not even he can identify, he has a $10 haircut, and he has to show security his ID three times in his wrestling gear to stay. He says that he knows if he faces Miz for the United States Championship, he can beat Miz. Miz agrees that Daniel paid $10 for the haircut, but nothing makes Daniel worthy of facing him for the title. Daniel says that if that match did happen, then next month’s magazine may have a cover of Daniel making Miz tap. Daniel says he can beat Miz, he can make him tap out, and he can become the next United States Champion. Miz says that he doesn’t’ like Daniel, he’s never liked him. Daniel says that he can beat Miz? Miz can annihilate Daniel. Daniel says enough. Him and Miz, United States Championship match, yes or no. Miz says yes. Daniel says excellent, and thanks Miz. Miz thanks Daniel instead, and then Daniel attacks Miz. However, Alex Riley comes in and attacks Daniel. Miz goes to hit Daniel with the briefcase, but Daniel flips him out of the ring, and makes Alex tap.

Daniel then looks at Miz’ cover, running a finger down it. He then kicks it over, smirking at Miz as he does.

@Niki_Sushi So… am I the only one that thinks Daniel Bryan looks like a registered sex offender? #RAW #BWF #shouldicallthecops

@bethsharae I really though Riley was Cole at first… #WWE #Raw

@TKeep123: Daniel Bryon, $10 for that haircut was STILL TOO MUCH! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@dasharpshooters Daniel Bryan: “YES I CAN” #wwe #raw #bwf

You think you know me…

Next week, John Cena will face either Randy Orton or Wade Barrett.

Edge vs The Great Khali

Before the match, Edge makes his way over to the computer after Khali makes his way to the ring. He stands next to it for a while, but he leaves it alone and gets back in the ring. The bell is rung, and then Edge rolls out of the ring, mocking Khali, who obviously doesn’t get it because he’s grinning. He jumps back in the ring to break the count, then goes back out and continues his mockery. He grabs Ranjin, only for Khali to grab him. Khali starts chasing Edge up the ramp, and Edge attacks his knee before running back to the ring, making it in the ring. Khali didn’t.

Edge wins via count out.

And I quote: “Edge, I refuse to acknowledge your cheap count out victory. Therefore, I am restarting this match, and it will now be a no disqualification, over the top rope challenge.”

@KeepItFiveStar Edge with the “Smackdown vs RAW 2010 I don’t wanna play this match so I’m gonna win as quick as possible” victory

@FrankWWEClown Where the hell is @ZackRyder?!?! I call blasphemy! This isn’t fair! I won’t be able to sleep tonight! WHY, WHY, WHY?! #WWE #RAW

@bethsharae …. We get a complete Truth free Raw? #WWE #Raw Please don’t let me have jinxed it..

The ref restarts the match, and Edge is taking a beating from Khali right away. Khali smacks Edge and Edge looks pretty wounded by it. Khali throws him into the ropes, and Edge slides under the bottom rope to get out of the ring. Khali, on the other hand, climbs over the top rope, and throws Edge back into the ring. Lawler points out that this means, technically, that Khali eliminated himself. Edge goes for a spear on Khali, but Khali stops him and throws him between the top and middle rope. Khali goes to get over, and Edge yanks him down by his ankle for the victory.

Edge wins via over the top rope.

Still to come, Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett.

@KeepItFiveStar This is why you should go back to India, Khali. Cause you can’t follow simple ass instructions.

@TKeep123 Y2J gets Morrison….and Edge gets….The Great Stumbling Khali ??? Jericho…you was robbed! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Fullmetal_Ninja: #WWE #RAW When Michael Cole can point out your botch you know you fail. #RAW #FAIL

Night of Champions Rundown!

Kane vs The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship

The Miz vs Daniel Bryan for the United States Championship

Sheamus vs Randy Orton vs John Cena vs Edge vs Wade Barrett for the WWE Championship

LayCool vs Melina for the Unified Women’s Championship

Chris is staring backstage at something and Josh Matthews comes up to ask some questions. Jericho doesn’t answer. Last week, Chris said that if he didn’t become the WWE Championship at Night of Champions, he’d leave. Since he lost his spot in that match, what are his future plans? Jericho says nothing. Josh thanks Jericho for his time, and Jericho doesn’t even move. Morrison sits next to Jericho afterward, and says, “Bad day, huh?” Morrison asks if he still thinks he’s the best in the world at what he does, and tells him not worry and that things will get better. Jericho turns to stare at Morrison. Morrison asks if he understands what he’s saying to him right now.

Sheamus makes his way to the ring to watch the match that’s coming up.

@YourBoyDrew #DEAD at Jericho’s face…yo I’m cryin right now

@TKeep123 Chris Jericho and John Morrison post match seated exchange….Priceless! (Morrison should have offered him a LifeSaver!) #WWE #RAW #BWF

Sheamus, John Cena, and Edge are all on commentary on this match, so I don’t know how well I’m going to be able to keep up.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

The match hasn’t started, and Edge and Sheamus are already arguing. Hilarious.

Randy gets a good momentum on Wade pretty early, hitting some pretty hard-looking hits. Randy brings Barrett to the announce table and slams his head against it. He gets him back into the ring and continues to dominate Barrett. Barrett gets the momentum back on his side with a big boot to the face. Camera man, back to the match thanks. Barrett dominates Orton for a bit with some hard stops, before he begins punching Orton in the face. Barrett drops Orton in a neckbreaker and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Barrett keeps Orton in a headlock for a bit, but Orton drops Barrett onto the mat. Barrett gets a cover, but Orton kicks out. Barrett begins punching Orton a little bit, knocking him back onto the mat. Barrett gets Orton up for Wasteland, but Orton counters with a neckbreaker. Orton takes Barrett down with some clotheslines, then a scoop slam. Barrett, however, rolls to the outside of the ring, but Orton pulls him in, going for the DDT, but Barrett throws Orton out.

Darren Young interrupts, asking if Wade really thinks that he can be kicked out of Nexus and get away with it? Young has news for them. He’s going to show them why he wasn’t the weakest link, but is the missing link. Orton gets back in the ring while Young distracts Barrett and hits the RKO for the win.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

Orton motions for Young to get in the ring, and to come over. Orton then RKOs Young too. Sheamus gets on the apron, and Orton looks at him. Edge went for a Spear, but missed. Orton RKOs him, then Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick. Orton RKOs him too. Cena and Orton stand in the ring, staring at one another. Orton looks coiled to strike, but the two merely stare at one another instead.

Well, the tension is definitely on for Night of Champions, specifically with the WWE Championship and the United States Championship, something I wasn’t really expecting. However, I’m pretty excited to see what’ll happen. And this one was much better than last week’s episode. Until next week!

“Impact Impressions” 9/2/10

September 3, 2010 9:00 pm Leave a Comment

A go-home show for a pay-per-view should never be as painful to watch as this was. (more…)

RAW 8.23.10

August 23, 2010 11:16 pm 1 Comment

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Terribly sorry about missing last week, but I was out with my mom and grandmother, with a surprise visit from my aunt. We went and saw Cats, not like anyone cares… I’m going to shut up now.

Oh, heads up: My laptop screen is… busted, maybe, I don’t know. Something happened, I have no idea what. So, my laptop may be going in for repair soon. What that means is that the RAW review may be up later, because I’d have to take notes while watching it in my room, and then take the notes into the office and type it up on my desktop… Anyway, I’m still working out the kinks and trying to make everything easier. Keep an eye out on Twitter, and I’ll let you know.

Tonight, The Miz takes on John Cena. And what about Nexus? After expelling Darren Young, are they stronger, or are they beginning to crack around the edges?

So, Darren’s out of Nexus…? Maybe. We’ll see.

It’s a shameful thing… lobster head… TOO MANY LIMES! TOO MANY LIMES!

Lots of love to the RAW Tweeters for that one. I love you all.

Anyway, Sheamus makes his way out, and we get a rewind to the Justin Gabriel vs Randy Orton match where Sheamus came out to the ring and cost Randy the match via count out. And Randy demolished him last week outside the ring. Nexus? Not a threat. Sheamus pisses Randy off though. Ha.

Sheamus says that he’s noticed one thing about Americans: their children are spoiled brats, annoying, selfish, and will cry until they get what they want. Look at all the spoiled runts. He calls some random kid a disgrace and I JUST SAW FRANK! Anyway, he bashes a few more kids. He says there’s an even bigger spoiled child in the WWE, and that’s Randy Orton. Orton couldn’t beat Sheamus for the title at SummerSlam, so he attacks Sheamus after the match and on RAW. Everyone in the WWE Universe cheered Orton, chanting RKO RKO! Which they do now, much to Sheamus’ disgust. He says he’s going to burst their bubble, and says that Orton is not the WWE Champion, Sheamus is. Sheamus and the GM haven’t been on the same page, but in four weeks times, Night of Champions is coming up. Orton should be punished for what he did instead of rewarded. He should never get another opportunity at the WWE Championship.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

“Sheamus, believe it or not, I have no problem with you. You have found a way to retain your WWE Championship, and I feel you should be rewarded. Therefore tonight I’m going to do something unprecedented. Gentlemen, will you please bring out the throne.”

Like we need this. Make someone’s ego even bigger… Anyway, there’s a throne now.

“Sheamus, I’m not going to decide your next challenger, you are. Tonight, there will be a series of matches. You will watch them, observe them, and see who impresses you the most. At the end of the evening, you will come to the ring and announce to the world your opponent for Night of Champions.”

Sheamus says there is finally justice in the WWE for him, and thanks the General Manager.

“Sheamus, there’s one other thing. The first of these matches begins right now.”

You think you know me…

Edge makes his way to the ring as we cut to commercial.

@Niki_Sushi It’s official. Whoever Sheamus picks is either going to have a mega push, or a mega burial. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Until I hear Sheamus say “Fella!” my night won’t be complete. #RAW #WWE #BWF

Next week is RAW’s 900^th episode!! Awesome.

Edge vs. R-Truth

So, whose taking bets that someone’s going to try to beat Sheamus with his own throne? I would. Anyway, Truth did decently, but a Spear ended that.

Edge wins via pinfall!

Edge says Sheamus can sit on his stupid little throne, brag about all the people he’s beat, but until he’s beaten a nine-time champion, until he beats the man who led Team WWE to victory at SummerSlam, until he beats the Rated-R Superstar, he hasn’t beaten anybody.

Tonight, The Miz takes on John Cena! And Cody Rhodes is going to be on Warehouse 13 on SyFy tomorrow night at 9 Central!

@kickoutblog R-Truth just broke his hip like a 90 year old that just slipped in the tub. #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi OMFG. Truth did the scissor kick, and all I saw was him in Alicia’s outfit. MY BRAIN NEEDS BLEACHING!!! #BWF #RAW

WWE went to China for the first time. AWESOME.

Sheamus is still sitting on his throne watching everything, and Lawler says that he looks regal. Huh, go figure.

The Great Khali vs. Chris Jericho

Khali manhandles Chris for a bit, but Chris fights back, attacking Khali’s injured knee. Advantage bounces back and forth, and Chris goes for the Codebreaker, but Khali just drops him. Jericho locks Khali in the Walls of Jericho, and Khali taps out.

Chris Jericho wins via submission.

Chris takes a mic and says that he hopes Sheamus wasn’t taking what Edge said to heart because he wasn’t the first Undisputed Champion, Chris is. Edge isn’t the man who just made a giant tap out, and most importantly, Edge isn’t the best in the world at what he does, Chris is. So Sheamus should pick Chris, and asks if Sheamus understands what Chris is saying right now. Khali gets back up and slaps Chris’ chest, knocking him out of the ring.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews John Cena. Matthews asks him to mention what happened last week. Cena says it’s petty and classless, and he doesn’t regret choosing Bryan over Miz. Miz almost cost them the match, and showed his true colors last week by attacking Bryan. Ever since he won the Money in the Bank match, he’s gotten a bigger mouth. Tonight, Cena’ shuts it with an Attitude Adjustment.

@KeepItFiveStar I will pay for Khali’s ticket to get him back to India

@ThingsColeSays Michael McGuillicutty has the “McGuillibuddies.” Michael Cole has “The Cole Miners.” John Cena has the “Purple People Eaters.”

@HitTheRopes I don’t hate Cena and all (and I have yet to look at spoilers) but I hope Miz looks better here than in their last feud. #wwe

@StrikerSays Jericho truly IS the best in the world at what he does, and here’s why: he just made a 5-minute match with Khali NOT entirely virulent.

We come back to Jillian Hall in the ring saying she has been Diva’s Champion before and she’s done it again. She starts singing Afraid by Eminem, and I think Cole was singing too. Thankfully, Melina interrupts.

Jillian Hall vs Diva’s Champion Melina for the Diva’s Championship

Jillian dominates most of this match, and they guess each other’s moves a lot, but no surprise, Melina wins with Last Call.

Diva’s Champion Melina wins via pinfall.

LayCool comes over the TitanTron to try to get Melina’s attention. They say they don’t feel bad at all for attacking her at SummerSlam. They’re going to be at the 900^th episode of RAW next week, and they have a flawless offer that she can’t refuse.

Matthews is backstage with Miz, asking if he wants to respond to Cena’s accusations. Miz says that he nailed Bryan in the back of the head, but what about Cena? Cena put Team WWE at risk the minute he chose Bryan of Miz. After the WWE Championship match, Sheamus was beaten down, and had to be carried out. But did Miz cash in Money in the Bank? No. He was thinking about Team WWE. The very least Cena could have done was talk to Miz backstage. Instead, he tried to embarrass Miz in front of the entire world. Being embarrassed doesn’t sit right with Miz. So tonight, Miz is going to beat Cena, and he will show Cena that there will be consequences for his actions. As for Sheamus, Miz doesn’t expect to be chosen. But, that doesn’t really matter does it? Because Miz can pick Sheamus anytime, anywhere he wants. He might even pick Sheamus tonight.

@legendkiller515 Why do they continue to have jillian sing? #wwe #bwf

@Niki_Sushi NO. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM RAW, YOU DIRTY BLONDE HO! WE JUST GOT RID OF Kx2! DON’T RUIN THIS FOR ME! #RAW #BWF

@JCenadotcom Why do they insist on making Michelle talk? :-

Nexus comes out to the ring, Wade with a microphone. Remember, it’s the Nexus Six now, which doesn’t have the same ring, does it? Sheamus asks what he owes the honor too, but before they can answer…

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

“I requested Nexus come out here to let them know I was highly impressed with their performance last week. As for the ban that says Nexus can no longer compete for titles, that ban has been lifted.”

Sheamus looks upset, and Barrett walks over. Sheamus and Barrett have a staring match before Barrett says their truce is over. With that, they walk backstage again.

Next up is The Miz vs John Cena.

@legendkiller515 sheamus looks like he just seen a ghost…physically and literary #wwe #bwf

@Niki_Sushi God DAMN Sheamus looks pissed! Just how many Superstars pissed in his Wheaties during commercial!? #BWF #RAW

AWESOME!

The United States Champion The Miz vs John Cena

I’m calling it now, as Cena comes out (BRRRRRR SOGGY SHOES!) that Daniel Bryan is going to interfere. Just my theory. Anyway, Miz gets an early advantage, but Cena takes it from him. He goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out, and dodges a move from Cena, sending Cena shoulder-first into the steel pole. Miz goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Miz gets the advantage back, and then Cena takes it back, Irish whipping him across the ring before suplexing him and going for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz gets advantage back with a knee to the face, and then a kick to the stomach. Meanwhile, Cole admits he has no friends. Anyway, Miz hits a leg drop across Cena’s face, and then goes for a cover, but Cena shoves him off. Cena gets the advantage back, and then goes to the top rope, and Miz knocks him off and out of the ring.

We come back to Miz hooked all around Cena in a sleeper, his legs around his waist from behind. Cena backs him into the turnbuckle, and goes for the bulldog, but Miz shoves him off, followed by a boot to the face. He goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Miz goes outside the ring and hangs Cena’s head over the edge, then knees him in the face. He gets Cena under the bottom rope, and then drops him, flinging him into the rope. He goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Miz is watching Cena as he gets up in the corner, and then hits the swinging corner clothesline. Cena gets in another corner, and Miz tries again, but Cena rolls out of the way. Cena hits a shoulder tackle and then gets the momentum back. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Miz, who gets up and is picked up for the Attitude Adjustment. However, Miz hits him with a backbreaker, then a neckbreaker, then goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Cena gets up and Miz attempts the Skull Crushing Finale, but Miz blocks and gets Miz into the STF. Miz reaches for the ropes and grabs the bottom rope to get free.

To give you a break from the block paragraphs, I’ll continue here. Cena goes for Miz, but Miz kicks him in the face. Goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Miz Whips Cena into the turnbuckle and then attempts another Skull Crushing Finale. Cena tries the attitude Adjustment again, but Miz gets out of the ring and away from him. Daniel Bryan attacks from behind, the ref calls for the bell, and Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.

The United States Champion The Miz wins via disqualification.

Cena walks away, and Daniel Bryan gets in and puts Miz in a submission. Miz taps out, and four refs have to pull Bryan off of Miz.

Later tonight, Randy Orton will face John Morrison and Ted DiBiase in a Triple Threat match.

@FrankWWEClown “Get that idiot off him!” -Michael Cole No Cole, you’re the idiot, you’re the idiot.

@Niki_Sushi I now name Daniel Bryan’s submission move. It’s now the ‘Twisted Dick’. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes These two are putting on a good match. Good job @mikethemiz and @johncena. #wwe

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs Jimmy and Jey Uso with Tamina

No idea. I was hoping Tamina would hit on Santino again. Anyway, Vladimir picks up the win.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall.

Afterward, Jimmy (I think) went to attack Santino again, but Tamina protected him and helped him up. Tamina then blows Santino a kiss, and he hysterically ‘gets hit’ by it. I love that guy. Vladimir looks at him like he’s retarded and tries to move his hand, but Santino won’t. Santino says he thinks Tamina likes him.

Sheamus is deliberating on all the matches, even the one he hasn’t seen yet, and JoMo, Randy, and Ted have a match next.

@kickoutblog In King’s defense, I think Tiger Woods might be the only person sleazier than Jerry Lawler.

Sheamus seems to have decided. He’s looking pretty smug in that throne.

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs John Morrison vs Randy Orton

Orton comes out and Sheamus stands at attention! Aaaand no match yet.

@dasharpshooters Yay its Maryse and her bitch! #wwe #Raw #bwf

Sheamus leaves the ring/stage area as Morrison disappeared somewhere and Randy and DiBiase go at it in the ring. There’s Morrison, beating DiBiase to a pulp. Randy and Morrison are in the ring, and Maryse is comforting DiBiase ringside. DiBiase finally comes back to interrupt Morrison’s cover on Orton, and flings Morrison out of the ring. He goes for the cover on Orton, and Orton kicks out. DiBiase gets an advantage on Orton and holds onto it for a bit, gaining momentum over Morrison too. But Orton comes back to get some momentum on both of them, hitting a scoop slam on Morrison, then DiBiase in succession. He then gets DiBiase between the top and middle rope, ducks a kick from Morrison, and DDTs DiBiase. Orton prepares to RKO DiBiase, but DiBiase shoves him into Morrison, who kicks him in the face, and then is sent out of the ring by DiBiase. DiBiase tries to hit Dream Street, but Orton counters. Orton then RKOs Morrison in midair and wins the match.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

DiBiase attacks Randy afterward only to also receive an RKO from Randy. Randy cackles and then Matthews is backstage with Sheamus. Sheamus says he doesn’t need to see anymore of Orton, because he’s already made his decision, and in just a few minutes, Sheamus is going to tell the entire world in that ring.

@TKeep123 If Michael Cole would use “Classic” instead of “Vintage,” it wouldn’t be half as obnoxious. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@legendkiller515 randy does it again…rko in mid air. he is a beast #wwe #bwf

@KeepItFiveStar Oh no!!!!! Morrison got the beard RKO’d off him!!

Sheamus is standing in the ring, and I think something glared off his face and into my eyes, because I went temporarily blind. Sheamus says that he is still a warrior, the Celtic Warrior despite last week. He says that he’s going to defend his title right now, and not wait until Night of Champions. A ref climbs into the ring, and Sheamus says that he’s seen a lot of great competitors tonight. But the only reason he became WWE Champion was because of opportunity. You can’t succeed without opportunity. Despite what he’s seen tonight, he went left field. He decided to make it a Superstar who’s never had a WWE Championship before, a man who could be the next biggest WWE Superstar. His next opponent is Zack Ryder.

OOOH RADIO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!

Ryder comes out and says that everyone all over the world is looking at the next WWE Champion, woo woo woo, you know it.

Zack Ryder vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship

Someone apparently loves Ryder, because he’s finally getting his chance! … Not like it’ll last. Anyway, there’s only like ten minutes left anyway. So, yeah. Sheamus destroys Ryder with the kick thing to the head.

WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall.

Cole makes a lame joke, and everyone hates him more. Sheamus takes the mic and says that there we have it: another successful retention for the Celtic Warrior. Now, he wants to reference some WWE Rules and Regulations. Now, he doesn’t have to defend his title for another 30 days. That means at Night of Champions, he’s taking the night off. He says he may even take the whole month off, go back to Ireland. However, Nexus thinks that’s a bad idea.

We are one, we are one, we are one, we will stand together… until Darren Young loses!

Barrett makes his way down to the ring and says that Sheamus is right, legally. He doesn’t need to defend his title for another thirty days, but Barrett won Season One of NXT. Sheamus asks so what, and Barrett says that he gets a title opportunity at a pay-per-view of his choice. Barrett chooses to take it against Sheamus at Night of Champions.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

“The GM would like everyone to know that he has upheld Barrett’s request: Sheamus will defend against Barrett at Night of Champions, but that’s not all. Earlier tonight, Sheamus, you spoke of opportunity. Well, I’m giving an opportunity to not only Wade Barrett, but to four other deserving Superstars. That means at Night of Champions, Sheamus will defend the WWE Championship in a Six Pack Challenge. Sheamus will not only face Wade Barrett, he will face Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Edge, and John Cena.”

Sheamus shoves Barrett at the others, and they all glare at him, surrounding him. Cena attacks, and then so does everyone else. Sheamus throws Barrett out of the ring, then Jericho delivers the Codebreaker to Sheamus, Edge Spears Jericho, Cena Attitude Adjustment’s Edge, and Randy RKO’s John.

Overall, RAW could have been a little more impressive, but it wasn’t terrible. Hope you all enjoyed it, and I hope to see you next week. Keep an eye on my Twitter (@TheMizMagnet) for more details.

RAW 8.9.10

August 10, 2010 5:15 pm Leave a Comment

I didn’t post this last night because I really wasn’t that excited about RAW. Anyway, I won’t be posting on next week until Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. I’m not going to be watching RAW. I’m joining my mother and grandmother to go see a show. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s the review!

The Main Event is Cena & Bret Hart vs Jericho & Edge with Nexus as Lumerjacks!

Bret Hart comes out in a Batman shirt and says that he’s upset that Jericho and Edge left and talks about Team WWE. He asks Jericho and Edge to join him in the ring, and says that if Nexus wins at SummerSlam, then everyone loses. Jericho makes his way to the ring, and Bret asks him to rejoin Team WWE, because this is Jericho’s time to make things right. Jericho still refuses, and tells Bret that Bret’s worried about losing tonight, and is frightened. Once again, Bret is screwed. Chris doesn’t want to team with either Cena or Bret, he just wants to dismantle Bret.

You think you know me…

Edge comes out and asks Jericho what’s wrong with him, they grew up idolizing him. Edge says he’s in, goes to attack Hart, Hart goes for Sharpshooter, Jericho pokes him in the eye. Jericho and Edge make their way out of the ring, and Natalya joins Bret in the ring. Nexus is backstage beating up Tyson and David Hart Smith. Wade says it’s not Bret’s day. Bret and Nat leave the rign and run backstage.

@KeepItFiveStar “That’s what you get for not being a Hart, Tyson!” – Nexus

@dasharpshooters Michael Keaton looks like shit. #wwe #raw #bwf

@Niki_Sushi I want Bret to say ‘nut up or shut up’ so Chris can shove the mic in his mouth. #BWF

Medics are backstage with Hart Dynasty, Bret says he’s going to take things under his own hands. Cena stops him and tells him to stay with his family.

AWESOME!!!

United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank The Miz vs Evan Bourne
Miz wins with a Skull Crushing Finale, but Evan had some great offense going, and a pretty sweet looking hurricanrana.
United States Champion The Miz wins via pinfall!

Miz gets mic and says he doesn’t care who has the WWE Championship after SummerSlam, when he’s ready to cash in, he will be the WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s AWESOME. Backstage, Cena is talking to Khali backstage.

<COMMERCIAL>

@kickoutblog Yeah, The Miz just murdered Evan Bourne.

@_MFS_ Bourne does shit like that and yet they still make him job… #WWE #RAW #BWF

@JCenadotcom Cole talking about The Miz requires me to mute the channel…

Melina vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox
Not a horrible match, but I wasn’t all that impressed.
Melina wins via pinfall.

Khali is backstage with Josh and says that Ranjin Singh’s not here. Josh asks is Khali with WWE or Nexus? Khali says WWE, then jacks the mic and grumbles and mumbles a lot. He then challenges Wade Barrett to a match, said Josh… thankfully

@RAWMysteryGM I know what Khali said and he will be punished accordingly for that outburst #WWE #bwf

@ KeepItFiveStar So The Great Khali vs. Glade Berry…?

@ _MFS_ what the fuck was that move supposed to be Alicia cause it looked like absolute shit #WWE #RAW #BWF

@redsandman99 I’m hoping that since Melina won tonight, Alicia wins at Summerslam. I love Melina but there should be proper feud for the title.

@dasharpshooters Dammit Khali you have been in this company for like 4 years and you cant speak english? #wwe #raw #BWF

As a result of Melina’s victory, Alicia will defend against Melina at SummerSlam.

Later tonight, Eve & Gail v Bellas v Maryse and Jillain in some bathing suit match thing, and Sheamus has called out Orton.

Chris Jericho and Edge are backstage complaining about Bret. They say if Nexus loses, it’s because they’re not on Team WWE, and they may have bitten off more than they can chew. Edge says they’ll survive whatever Nexus does, and Jericho says they’re architects and they make things happen. If they take out Cena and Hart, there’s no SummerSlam match, and they’re in the clear.

JoMo and R-Truth talking backstage. They say they got each other’s backs, but they need to find a replacement.

Mark Henry comes up and hears them say they need replacements, they just need him instead of two replacements, and to consider this match his audition. Nexus is watching on a big TV, and Wade nods to them. Everyone but Barrett leaves Nexus locker room.

@YourBoyDrew Tweets are being swallowed, it’s like the Bella Twins, are operating twitter for me

@iwcmvp WWEShop.com has an interesting new item. For $35 Michael Tarver will come to your house and make you crap your pants in fear #WWE #RAW #BWF

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Mark Henry
Henry’s attacked by Nexus before anything can happen.

Sheamus makes his way to the ring.

@KeepItFiveStar Every week, we should place bets to see how long Mark Henry lasts before he gets his ass beat

@JCenadotcom Henry failed the audition then…

@Niki_Sushi Nexus is doin’ drive-by’s now!

@Bruce412 RIP Mark Henry #TeamNexus #WWE #bwf

@dasharpshooters Wait a minute there was a guy walking next to Maryse? I didnt notice. #wwe #Raw #bwf

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus to the ring. Mark Henry’s still trying to make it up the ramp, that fatass. Anyway, Sheamus says Randy is talking out his arse, and shows a video package of how he’s not afraid of Randy Orton.

Who thinks he’s afraid of Orton? Everyone. Sheamus says he’s afraid of no one (except Nexus… <.<; ) and that he wants to call out Orton. Randy comes out and interrupts him. Orton has something to say first – Sheamus didn’t get in the ring because he was afraid last week. Sheamus blew an opportunity last week, and he’ll do the same at SummerSlam. Sheamus can do whatever he wants, but fact is Sheamus has never beaten Orton. Orton says he’s not Triple H or Cena. Sheamus says he’s not the WWE Champion either, and he won’t be after SummerSlam, and when he beats Orton, Orton will go back to the end of the line, and Orton’ll never get another title chance. Orton says he will beat Sheamus because Sheamus has never beaten Orton, but if Sheamus wants to redeem himself for not attacking last week, Orton says do something about it.

Sheamus, your title matches in the past have been marred with outside interference. Therefore, if anyone interferes in the WWE Champ match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely. Furthermore, I agree with Sheamus. If Randy loses at SummerSlam, there will be no rematch, and he will go back to the end of the line. However, I also agree with Orton. If Sheamus is not scared, then I encourage him to do something about it, right now.

Sheamus goes to walk away, goes to attack Orton, stops, then walks away. Orton attacks instead, Sheamus runs the title into Orton’s face. Sheamus goes for boot, Orton dodges, and delivers a backbreaker to Sheamus. Sheamus is down, Randy backs up, then goes for a punt, but stops short. Sheamus is freaked. Orton rolls out and picks up the Championship

@iwcmvp “What the hell, why is that jar of Mayo doing with the WWE title?, MMMMMMM Mayo” – Mark Henry #WWE #BWF

@dasharpshooters Mystery GM should get 2 minutes in the penalty box for instigating. #wwe #raw #bwf

@TheViperRKO951 I think Sheamus just craped himself #RAW

@SinisterAsh What will happen if the GM gets a virus?

@Niki_Sushi One day, the lights will blink and the power won’t come back on.

@KeepItFiveStar “IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!”

@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

Sheamus is still outside the ring, very pissed off. The Season Two NXT Rookies are in action, and I don’t care.

Three NXT Rookies vs Three NXT Rookies
Uh… The fat one won. O.o Husky Harris.
NXT Rookies win via squishing pinfall.

Sheamus attacks Rookies afterward, hitting the High Cross on Kaval. He then takes a mic and says that it was a message to the GM and Orton, and he promises to still be the WWE Champion next week.

Truth and Morrison make their way to the ring

@kickoutblog Hey you know when this would be a good idea? Tomorrow night on NXT, but I guess we have kegs to carry and fat people to kiss then.

@kickoutblog Sheamus just did to NXT what I wish I could do to whoever is booking this show

@bojeeB Kool Aid man has died, Miracle Whip has lost his cool….

R-Truth and John Morrison vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
I don’t know what happened… I was tweeting.
R-Truth and John Morrison win via pinfall.

@wnwdotcom: Big win? They squashed two of the most irrelevant workers on the Raw roster!

@ThingsColeSays Since they couldn’t get Will Ferrall, the Bellas walk to the ring with their giant dildos. They will get off one way or another!

@KeepItFiveStar The fans don’t like you R-Truth. They like rap beats and being asked questions.

@iwcmvp Was I the only one who thought that red haired woman in the audience during Truth’s entrance was Heath Slater? #WWE #BWF

@RAWMysteryGM Coming up next The Bikini Contest, featuring surprise entrant Mae Young. Get the lotion ready folks, there will be some tuggin going on #BWF

Nikki and Brie Bella vs Eve Torres and Gail Kim vs Maryse and Jillian Hall
Don’t know, don’t care what happened here. Point is, they were all in bathing suits, and that is the only reason that this was even on. The entrance with the slide was dumb, and Santino and Vladimir couldn’t even save this… Okay, Santino did. I love that guy.
The Bellas win via crap ring work.

Tamina corners, so to speak, Santino, and then let’s him go, but slaps his ass as he walks by. Santion acts kind of embarrassed.

Khali on his way to ring, but is attacked by Nexus. Everyone saw this coming.

@dasharpshooters Whats up with the PG swim wear? Fucking Lame #wwe #raw #bwf

@iwcmvp Santino and Kozlov look like human bottles of ketchup and mustard #WWE #RAW #BWF

@SinisterAsh Bella Twins winning matches make me want to punch a dry wall

@bethsharae Does this mean Khali is out too? I’m crossing my fingers… #Raw

@kickoutblog Weird how those two second backstage assaults are so much more devastating than an actual wrestling match. >_>

@TKeep123 Tamina wants a big old slice of Santino pie! Sweet! Must be the Uni-brow! Beware the Cobra! #WWE #RAW #BWF

Wade says that he was just informed that there will be no Khali vs Barrett match. Nexus will write a new chapter in the WWE after SummerSlam, and after they win at SummerSlam, the balance of power will shift dramatically and permanently. Nexus will beat Team WWE. Skip says they’re going to break Team WWE physically and mentally. Otunga says if anyone in the locker room is considering joining Team WWE, think about what they’ve done tonight, because you’re either Nexus or you’re against us.

Bret and Cena make their way to the ring and Miz comes up. Miz says their team’s in trouble, and they need help. He figures it was just a matter of time before they went looking for him, and he says he wants to hear them ask him to join their team. Bret says fine and asks if he’s in or out. Miz says he wants to hear it from both of them. Cena asks if he’s in or out, and Miz revels in Cena asking him for help before he says he’ll let them know Sunday. Cena says it’s a shame that they may need him.

@TKeep123 Something tells me that 3/4 of the Nexus … have no idea what a Nexus is! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Eat_Souls.MichaelTarver

@kickoutblog Michael Tarver was not given a microphone because if Sacramento heard his true voice, their heads would explode.

@IAmJHPunk Is Bret gonna wrestle in a Batman shirt? #wwe #raw #bwf

Next week Justin Long guest hosts RAW.

John Cena and Bret Hart vs Chris Jericho and Edge with Nexus as Lumberjacks
Cena tossed out, Nexus goes crazy. Jericho tossed out, Nexus doesn’t seem to give a shit, until Jericho hits Barrett by accident, and then Edge tries to help, Bret drags Gabriel in, Barrett drags him out. Nexus takes out Edge and Jericho, Morrison and Truth join Bret and Cena, Nexus gets in the ring. Edge and Jericho back away, then seem to debate whether or not to go back in the ring. Finally, Jericho and Edge rejoin Team WWE. Short brawl between Team WWE and Nexus. Nexus flees best they can, and Team WWE chases then out into the stands

Alright. I’m going to say it. Overall, not a great RAW. The best parts of RAW were the very first match, The Miz vs Evan Bourne, and then Randy Orton and Sheamus’ segment. I admit, the main event got better at the end, building the hype up by making Jericho and Edge return, but the rest of it? Total shit. Just sayin’. See everyone in a week, I hope! If I can’t get to RAW before Tuesday, then it’ll be two weeks! Ciao, darlings!

Smackdown: 07/06/10. S-Meh-ckdown.

August 7, 2010 12:25 am Leave a Comment

Another episode of Smackdown is upon us… oh joy! Nine days away from Summerslam, which is looking decent as a card… not fantastic, though. So let’s see what those crazy McMahon’s have in store for us… tonight? Well technically two Tuesdays ago, since this was a pretape. (more…)

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