Hell In A Cell Archives - Page 3 of 4

RAW 9.27.10

September 27, 2010 11:15 pm 4 Comments

Hello, everyone! Terribly sorry about not getting a review up for last week’s RAW, but things were really hectic. Anyway, I’m back tonight, and you can bet there’s gonna be a review up this week!

If you didn’t know it by now, Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion following Night of Champions! And at Hell in a Cell this Sunday, he’s got his hands full with Sheamus in a one on one rematch for the WWE Champion. But, this week? He’s got his hands full with Chris Jericho as they compete. And if Chris wins? Well, if Chris wins, Randy Orton will give Chris a title opportunity whenever he wants it.

AWESOME

Miz and Alex Riley get to the ring tonight, and Miz says that Daniel Bryan challenged him and Alex Riley to a tag team match. Didn’t Bryan learn his lesson last week? Bryan’s like the guy who wins a hundred million dollars in the lottery and thinks he’s gonna win every time he plays. What happens every Monday night? Bryan gets embarrassed by The Miz. And on tonight’s episode, he’s bringing a tag team partner to join in on the fun. So, come one, come all, and join in on the beatdown!

Daniel Bryan’s music plays, and Miz asks if that’s really his music. Then, he asks who Daniel’s tag team partner is, and if he even has any friends. Miz is interrupted in his catchphrase yet again by John Morrison’s music.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and John Morrison vs Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz and Alex Riley

Bryan and Riley start out, with Bryan getting the momentum early. He goes for an early cover, but Riley kicks out. Bryan tags in Morrison, but Riley attacks back. Morrison gets the advantage, however, and Riley drops him into the top rope. Riley keeps the advantage over Morrison as Miz is in the ring. Miz then drops Morrison right into the bottom rope. Miz gets covered, but kicks out. Miz manhandles Morrison, then backs up to have Riley come up. Riley stomps on Morrison in the corner before the ref pulls him out. Riley then drops Morrison and goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Miz gets tagged in, and hits a swinging corner clothesline on Morrison before going for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out. Morrison goes for a tag, but when he jumps up, Miz catches him. Miz misses a clothesline and dives for Bryan, but Miz grabs his leg and goes to pull him back, only to get a kick in the face. Morrison finally tags Bryan in, and Miz misses a clothesline as Bryan takes out Riley and hits a dropkick on Miz. He goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Bryan goes for the Labelle Lock but Miz counters with Skull Crushing Finale. Miz pins him for the cover.

The Miz and Alex Riley win via pinfall.

Miz attacks Bryan after the match, but Morrison comes to his rescue, and Bryan takes out both Morrison and the Miz. Morrison pulls Bryan off of Miz, but Bryan attacks Morrison. Morrison attacks Bryan, then Miz goes back to attacking Bryan, and then Morrison jumps on them both.

“I’ve decided that this Sunday, at Hell in a Cell, for the first time ever, Daniel Bryan will defend the United States Championship against both John Morrison and The Miz. But it will be defended in a match that I just invented: A Triple Threat Submissions Count Anywhere Match.”

@legendkiller515 since when was hell in the cell an important pay per view #wwe #raw #bwf

@ _MFS_ Can King please read the emails? Cole already talks WAY too much #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Damn Tamina. What’d the O-Zone Layer do to you?

@kickoutblog KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! #danielfudd

@bethsharae Yep, Miz and Riley will win this one. I’m already calling it. Morrison has once like once or twice against Miz since they broke up. #Raw

Divas Battle Royal for the Number One Contender for the Unified Diva’s Championship

I see Melina, the Bellas, Eve, Gail, Jillian, Maryse, Alicia, Tamina, and Natalya. Then LayCool comes on out to sit ringside. I’m not even going to try to keep up with this cluster fuck.

Natalya wins.

Good to finally see Natalya get her chance. Anywho, didn’t pay attention to the match. I hate Divas Battle Royals.

Later tonight, Edge has The General Manager on The Cutting Edge.

@kickoutblog Finally, a talented female athlete challenging for the Divas Title, are my eyes deceiving me?

@_MFS_ Okay, so they surprised me there, a Diva with actual fucking talent actually won, good job for once #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Yeah…. Officially fucking sick of LayCool. Michelle needs to go the hell away so Layla – who has talent – can shine. Skank. #BWF #RAW

Maryse is backstage with Ted, upset that Eve cost her the battle royal. Ted says he doesn’t care about the battle royal, and that she cost them the match last week. Someone knocks on the door and slips an envelope under the door. Maryse opens it and it reads, “Next week, you will be mine.”

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head!! TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

Sheamus says that we may have heard of some kind of Irish tale about two princes who had to race to get the throne of Ireland. The first prince to put his hand on the kingdom became the new king. As it came to a close, the younger of the two princes knew he was about to lose, so he cut off his hand and threw it at the castle. It made him the king of Ireland. Sheamus says he’s willing to cut off his own hand to win back the WWE Title. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Orton has underestimated Sheamus, and Sheamus should talk to Triple H because Sheamus ended Triple H’s career. In that cell, Sheamus is going to have the time of his life. But, right now, he wants to call out any WWE Superstar with a set of tires to face him. But, if they do, not only will they find out why he’s a future three-time WWE Champion, but why he’s also the fiery red hand of the WWE.

@Niki_Sushi I’m waiting for i- there it was. Fella. And I quote: VINTAGE SHEAMUS!

@TKeep123 Mysterious “I WILL HAVE YOU” message….gotta be from GoldDust! #WWE #RAW

@ThingsColeSays Does “fiery red hand of WWE” mean Sheamus has herpes of the hand or something? Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!

@_MFS_ Sheamus, cutting off hands is not PG #WWE #RAW #BWF

We come back, and Sheamus says that it’s not a surprise that no one back there is man enough to take him on. Then, of course, the Great Khali comes out.

Sheamus vs The Great Khali

Khali slaps Sheamus’ chest, and Sheamus proceeds to beat Khali to the ground. Sheamus then kicks Khali in the head and out of the ring. Outside the ring, he proceeds to beat Khali up as the ref counts. He takes the top off the announce table and beats Khali with it, then stealing Jerry’s chair, and then Cole’s chair. The bell has rung at this point, but Sheamus just keeps throwing chairs.

The Great Khali wins via disqualification.

Sheamus then gets Khali up, but Khali pushes him into the turn buckle, but gets a Brogue Kick for his troubles. He goes to get up, but gets another Brogue Kick.

Up next, Edge has the RAW General Manager on the Cutting Edge!

@KeepItFiveStar Every week I hope The Great Khali finally made that trip back to India. And every week I’m disappointed.

@bethsharae Dang Sheamus! One bonus of being so white, any amount of Red just glows. #Raw

@TKeep123 WOW!!! The hand print on Sheamus’ chest is amazing!!! #WWE #RAW

@kickoutblog If I had Khali’s hand tattooed on my chest, I’d be pissed too

You think you know me…

The whole podium is in the ring. If Cole reads the whole thing, I’m going to spaz… Really hard. I kind of wish Cole would get punched in the face. I’d take Josh Matthews over him.

Edge says that tonight is a first. The RAW GM is the guest. Edge does appreciate the GM agreeing to show up on the show. The computer will generate a voice (thank God), to keep this person’s identity a secret. Edge asks why he is such a spineless coward. The GM asks why Edge is such a moron. The GM remains anonymous to protect his identity. If people knew who he was, it’d change everything. Edge says that’s the worst voice ever. He thought he was Stone Cold, the Rock, Shawn Michaels, Bob Barker, or Lindsay Lohan after another bender. The only thing Edge knows is that whoever he is, he is a big fat liar. The GM says seriously, Edge, you hurt his feelings. Why do you have to hate, yo. He tried to make peace with him, but he wants confrontation. Why does Edge despise the GM? Edge asks why the GM despises him, and then asks why he’s arguing with a computer. Edge says that’s it. He’s gonna go ask Chris Jericho exactly who the GM is. The GM says Jericho is bluffing, but the GM knows a lot of things… Like Edge’s opponent. Right now.

Insert Stephen Hawking laughter.

Edge says that he doesn’t have an opponent, and he’s done talking to an overgrown Speak ‘N Spell, and he’s out. The GM says that he does have a match tonight, because the GM has scheduled a match between Edge and this man…

BRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER POO!

@HitTheRopes Edge, when you start arguing with a computer, you know it’s time to leave Raw. Come back to Smackdown, yo

@ThingsColeSays Edge is right. The state of Raw these days.

@KeepItFiveStar Is the GM JTG? JTGM?

@Grotessk The RAW GM is T-Pain.

@_MFS_ It’s okay Edge, I argue with my computer at work all day too #WWE #RAW #BWF

John Cena vs Edge

Nexus is watching backstage. Big surprise.

Anyway, Cena gets the early advantage, but Edge punches that out of him. Cena hits Edge with a drop toe-hold, but Edge kicks him out of the ring. Cena starts to try to get back in the ring, but Edge hits a baseball slide and kicks him right back out. Edge Irish whips Cena into the steel steps, then rolls into the ring to break the count. I missed what happened, but I saw Cena go for an Attitude Adjustment, and Edge counter. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Edge keeps the advantage, punching his face as the ref tries to get him to back up. Cena begins to fight back, ducking a clothesline, hitting a flying shoulder tackle before Edge stops him. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Edge gets Cena in a corner, then Irish whips him across the ring. Edge goes for a suplex, but Cena counters it with one of his own. Cena gets up and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge counters again and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out again. The crowd starts a “Let’s Go Cena, Let’s Go Edge” chant as Cena wakes up and starts fighting back a little more. Cena gets up on the second rope and tries to get an Attitude Adjustment again, but Edge jumps down and hits a spear on Cena by the ropes, covering him. Cena’s leg was under the rope, however, and Edge thinks he just won cleanly. But, the GM hates him, so here’s the email!

Edge wins via pinfall.

“You need to play by the rules. John Cena’s foot was clearly under the bottom rope. See for yourself. Therefore, this match will continue.”

Told ya.

Edge then runs back and starts punching Cena in the head. Edge goes for the Spear again, but Cena counters with the STF. Edge almost gets to the rope, but Cena pulls him back to the center of the ring. Edge taps.

John Cena wins via submission.

Edge climbs out of the ring and starts slowly toward the computer.

“Edge, you lost fair and square. Don’t look at me like that. Just walk away.”

Edge stops, and looks at the computer again, only for the computer to ask him what he’s doing. The computer says that Edge has the crazy eyes and he’s warning him. Then, Edge knocks over the podium, and breaks the laptop in half, then beats it with a chair, then with his head. Obviously, Edge is pissed.

@ThingsColeSays THAT’S WHY YOU HOOK BOTH LEGS, BOYS AND GIRLS. There’s a lesson to be learned here.

@bethsharae ….There is not instant replay in wrestling! Go away General Manager! #WWE #Raw

@HitTheRopes LOL, the Raw GM was injured. The #WWE had to find a way to write him out of the storyline.

@kickoutblog “Edge… you have the crazy eyes” might be my favorite WWE line since “malignant fist.”

@KeepItFiveStar OH NO! CHAIRSHOTS TO THE GM’S HEAD!

@TKeep123 Edge lays the RAW SMACKDOWN on the computer GM laptop. Edge 1 : GM 0 #WWE #RAW

@_MFS_ Yay! Dead computer! Man I wish I could do that to the crappy computers where I work! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@TeamNakedBaby Edge just killed Stephen Hawking 😀

Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater vs Mark Henry and Evan Bourne

Evan and Heath start out, Heath getting a good grip on Bourne pretty early. He already tags in Gabriel, who goes for a cover only for Bourne to kick out. Gabriel tags Slater back in and Slater hits a knee drop on Bourne and goes for a cover. Slater keeps momentum over Bourne, until he misses a clothesline and Bourne hits a high knee to Slater’s face. Slater tags in Gabriel, and Henry comes in off the tag too. Henry proceeds to deliver some hard hits to Gabriel, and downs Slater when he tries to help, then drops Gabriel on his stomach. Henry tags in Bourne, who is then taken out by Gabriel, after Slater takes out Henry. Gabriel climbs to the top rope now, and attempts the 450 Splash on Bourne, who manages to avoid it. Bourne goes to the top, and hits Air Bourne. He goes for the cover and Slater rolls them over so Gabriel pins Bourne.

Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel win via pinfall.

Nexus launches Mark Henry into the steel steps and then climb into the ring to get Evan. Otunga delivers a clothesline to Bourne, Tarver punches him hard, Slater just takes him down with some move (his trunks are sparkly and distracting), and then Barrett lifts him up, hitting Wasteland on Bourne. Tarver and Barrett move Bourne, and Gabriel hits a successful 450 Splash.

Barrett gets a mic and says that Nexus has said from the very beginning that you’re either Nexus, or you’re against us. After Hell in a Cell, Cena will no longer be “against us”, because when Barrett beats him, he will become property of Nexus. It’s not like they need him, but Cena’s going to serve a purpose. Cena’s going to take them to the upper something, and help them demoralize the entire WWE. Just to show Cena that being a part of the Nexus isn’t all bad, they’ve decided that they’re going to take a little trip. Otunga takes the mic and says that they’re invading Smackdown Friday. Unlike RAW, they’re giving all the superstars on Smackdown a fair warning. Tarver takes the mic and says the bad news is that they are the bad news. None of you can stop them.

@kickoutblog Please, please, please let us get some high flying insanity with Bourne and Gabriel.

@TKeep123 Mark Henry becomes the World’s Strongest Yard Dart at the hands of Nexus! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@HitTheRopes Anybody else find Wade Barrett’s face eerily similar to that of a rat?

Next week, Johnny Knoxville is the guest star. Remembering how bad it was last time, this’ll be fun.

The Hart Dynasty with Natalya vs The WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes for the WWE Tag Team Championship

I admit that I like typing Dashing in front of Cody Rhodes’ name. And that’s all I’ll say about that. Promise.

Tyson and Rhodes start out. Rhodes sends Kidd out to the apron, but Kidd jumps right back in and goes for a cover, only for Rhodes to kick out. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, and they hurl Kidd into the turnbuckle. McIntyre gets Kidd up by his head and tags in Rhodes. Rhodes hits Kidd, tags in McIntyre, and then Irish whips him right into McIntyre’s clothesline. McIntyre goes for a move, but Kidd kicks him in the head. McIntyre tags in Rhodes and Smith is tagged in too. Smith hits Rhodes with some hard this, and then knees him in the face. Rhodes is then dominated to the ground, Smith going for a cover only for McIntyre to interfere and then get knocked out of the ring. The Hart Dynasty go for the Hart Attack, but McIntyre pushes Kidd off early. Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the win.

Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

Smith asks why Kidd hit him from behind, and the two argue with Natalya trying to get them to stop. Smith walks away after shoving Kidd.

Up next, Chris Jericho will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton.

@kickoutblog Uh Cole, all wrestlers shave their legs.

@seraphalexiel Everytime they play Cody’s song instead of Drew’s, someone kicks a puppy around. Stop puppy violence

@TKeep123 I wonder if Cody and Drew take turns shaving each other!…. Those boys be smooth! #WWE #RAW

@HitTheRopes Just what #WWE needs to do: break up an ACTUAL tag team. smh

@Niki_Sushi You know you hit hard when Drew McIntyre does a Gollum Crawl to the ropes. #BWF #RAW

Cena and Truth backstage. Truth says no matter what happens on Sunday, truth is, he always has Cena’s back. Cena says he knows what’s at stake, and he’s going to take Nexus out one by one. Truth tells him to be careful, and Cena says that he’s always careful. Truth says he’s one of the most reckless people he knows. Cena says he is, but Nexus, since they’re going to the premiere of Smackdown on Friday, maybe he should be there, and if they run into each other, then Hell in a Cell starts early.

Break the walls down!

Chris says that when he wins this match tonight, he will be the number one contender, and will go on to win the WWE Championship, do you understand what he is saying to you right now? He’ll be the first to admit that Orton is a dangerous man, but he’s not scared. He’s changed from the fresh upstart he was when he first started to a deranged lunatic who has done whatever he could to become champion. He is a viper. He thinks, strikes, and acts like a snake, whenever he wants when he hits the RKO. But, much like Randy used to call himself the Legend Killer, Chris is going to call himself the Viper Killer, and will strike the head of the snake right here, and Orton will join the ranks of Hall of Famers and Legends who have been beaten by him. The list starts and continues, but a commercial interrupts.

@bethsharae Did R-Truth just call Cena “Crunk”? #raw

@KeepItFiveStar “U da moss reckless. Moss gettin crunk person. I KNOW!” – R-Truth (What??)

@kickoutblog I write the most gettin’ crunk Raw reviews. And that’s the truth

@HitTheRopes Every time R-Truth sets foot in front of a #WWE camera I feel the black race is set back decades “Most getting crunk person…” #facepalm

@seraphalexiel DID THEY JUST CUT OFF JERICHO???? SOMEONE NEED TO GET FIRED

@CawCawBang Word of the day is Crunk

@_MFS_ Ummm interrupting someone who can actually cut a promo with commercials? Not cool #WWE, not cool at all #RAW #BWF

We come back to Jericho’s list continuing, still. By the way, gonna plug here. Got Jericho’s DVD in the mail today, and it is amazing. Worth every penny. Trust me. Get it!

I hear voices in my head…

Anyway, the list is interrupted by Randy’s entrance.

Chris Jericho vs WWE Champion Randy Orton

Jericho starts off the match with a strong kick to Orton’s stomach. He gets Orton in the corner and delivers some solid hits before Irish whipping Orton across the ring only to run into a clothesline. Orton hits back at Jericho, however, dropping his knee into Jericho’s face. He hits an uppercut on Jericho, who’s hanging out of the ring on the apron, and then climbs back in. Jericho hits a slap on Orton to get him out of his face, and then kicks Orton right in the shoulder. He taunts Orton, calling him a stupid man, his new favorite insult, before Orton starts hitting back again. Orton Irish whips Jericho, who holds onto the ropes, and then is clotheslined out of the ring. Orton walks out with him and Irish whips Jericho, who reverses, and whips Orton into the barrier.

@HitTheRopes ARMBAR!!!!! #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Wow…. was @IAmJericho seriously listing people off that whole time? Elephant memory he has. #BWF #RAW

@Lagana Has WWE mentioned and promoted more TNA people tonight then TNA usually does?

@WellYoureWrong …MOSS COVERED THREE HANDLED FAMILY GREDUNZA #1004opponents #wwe

@legendkiller515 damn jericho is naming everyone he beat. #classic #wwe #raw #bwf

We come back to Orton stomping on Jericho, and Sheamus walks out from behind the curtain to watch the match. Orton sees him and pauses his methodical beat down of Jericho’s legs to stare at him. Jericho gets to his feet and goes for a clothesline, but Orton ducks and Jericho hits and insagari before hitting Orton’s neck against the bottom rope after a failed cover. Orton gets up and attempts the RKO, but Jericho counters into a backslide, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho goes for another cover after a dropkick, but Orton kicks out. Jericho gets Orton in a headlock. Orton fights out of it, and runs right into a dropkick. Jericho goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two again. Jericho drops his knee in Orton’s face, and then goes for another cover, only for Orton to kick out again. Jericho gets Orton in a submission, but Orton fights out, delivering a back breaker to Jericho. Orton gets up and watches Jericho, taking him down with clotheslines, and a scoop slam. He then backs Jericho into the corner and Irish whips him. Jericho puts his foot in Orton’s face when Orton runs at him, and then misses a Lionsault. Orton hits the backbreaker and goes for the RKO, only for Jericho to drop him. Jericho hits the Lionsault this time and goes for a cover, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho gets up and kicks Orton in the stomach, but Orton goes for the DDT from the second rope. Jericho counters it and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Orton reaches for the bottom rope, however, but Jericho pulls him back to the center of the ring. Orton reverses it and knocks Jericho out of the ring. Jericho goes right back in, and then this the DDT from the second rope.

Block of test is huge, so here’s a break.

Orton drops down to his knees, and Sheamus misses a clothesline on Orton and the ref calls for the bell. Orton then hits the DDT from the second rope on Sheamus. Orton starts to go for a punt, but Jericho hits the Code Breaker on Orton instead. Jericho grabs a chair and climbs back in the ring, telling Orton to get up. Jericho says he’s gonna knock Orton’s head off, but Jericho misses with the chair and Orton hits the RKO on Jericho. Orton then punts Jericho in the head. Sheamus looks terrified that he actually did it, however.

Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. One wild RAW. Decent lead up to Hell in a Cell, I think, so we’ll see what happens! ‘Til next week!

Random Randomness

September 26, 2010 11:00 am 1 Comment

Whats up people? I hope everything is all well on your end as well as it is mine and if not, hopefully it’s getting better like mine. But all in all your here and that’s what matters and I should stop rambling and just get on with the article because it just feels weird to just keep going on and on and on while you wait for what I have to say about things. So lets get this show on the road so we can all watch some football or something: (more…)

Smackdown 10/24/10

September 25, 2010 2:24 am 3 Comments

Night of Champions fall out is the theme of the night… sort of. See, WWE has another PPV in two Sundays – Hell in a Cell. As a result, one could expect continuity of most storylines towards that event. Or so logic would lead one to believe… The suffrage commences now!
(more…)

Random Randomness

September 12, 2010 12:32 pm 2 Comments

With the official start to the NFL regular season starting today, I have to ask: “Are you ready for some football?” Not yet, well before I shout “Go Raiders!” how about to take a few minutes and read about some things that happened this past week in wrestling: (more…)

There Goes the Money

October 11, 2009 2:09 pm 5 Comments

Whether CM Punk lost the World Heavyweight Championship title at the “Hell in a Cell” pay-per-view earlier this month over a dress code issue really doesn’t matter. (more…)

Random Randomness

9:49 am 5 Comments

Well, well, well look at what we have here another wwk gone by and now another week of you all reading my thoughts as we come closer to the 1 year anniversary of this very article. So without further ado, whether you cross the line, get extreme, put up with RAW or layeth the Smackdown, lets get this show on the road: (more…)

RAW review – 10/5/09

October 6, 2009 1:31 am 2 Comments

RAW kicks off, and it’s host is a World Champion from Pittsburgh – but it’s not Kurt Angle. Ben Roelithsberger comes out to some boos, saying he knows they’ve got Eagles fans in the house, but that they’ve also got Steelers fans, but tonight we’re all WWE fans. He says he’s got a surprise. It’s the Diva Bowl. A team of face Divas show up in Steelers jerseys, followed by a team of heel divas in white shirts, followed by Gail Kim in a referee outfit. Great. The one who can actually wrestle is the referee.

Diva Bowl

What the hell is this crap? At least we’re getting it out of the way early. The faces won when Mickie James pinned Alicia Fox.

The face Divas are still standing in the ring when the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring.

Orton says that last night he defeated John Cena and became a 6 time WWE Champion. The people say he uses shortcuts, needs backup, and flat out cheats. When last night did any of that happen? He and John Cena walked in to Hell in a Cell, and Orton beat him. End of story. He’s willing to bet that Cena will interrupt him and ask for a rematch. Orton tells Cena to do what he thinks he needs to do. Orton says he knows exactly what he’ll say to Cena. The fans chant Cena’s name and…

SHABADOO! Your time is up my time is now…

The former champ is here, and he runs down to the ring. Orton says that Cena looks awful excited, and he thinks he knows why. Orton says he won’t get a rematch tonight. Cena’s look turns to that of disappointment. Cena says Orton just told the WWE Universe that he doesn’t give a damn about them. He’s a WWE Superstar who strives to be the best, so what Cena’s here to do is congratulate Orton on his win last night. Cena says he can tell us how brutal Hell In A Cell was, but the interesting thing is that there was something special. Something Cena noticed before, during, and after the match. He noticed over 16,000 members of the WWE Universe standing the whole time. There were people cheering for Cena. There were people cheering for Orton. John Cena and Randy Orton has become the rivalry. Whether a singles match, triple threat, I quit, or Hell In A Cell, it’s simply amazing. Cena would like to do it one more time, and the people seem to agree. He cares about the WWE Universe and wants to give them a match. Not just any match, the match. The match of matches – an Iron Man match. Right, like Cena can go for 60 minutes and keep a crowd into it. Anyways, Cena says that after the iron man match, there will be no more rematches. Orton says he sees what Cena’s doing. If Cena wins, he don’t get a rematch. He says he agrees that we need to end this, but we’ll do it Orton’s way. If Cena wins he gets the title, if Orton wins, Cena is gone from RAW. He can go to SmackDown, he can go to ECW, Orton doesn’t care. He just wants him off of RAW. Cena confirms that’s what Orton wants and says he’ll do it. Orton says that’s not all he wants. No DQ, no count out, and on his terms. Cena asks that if that means they can use whatever they want and turn this into the biggest brawl of all time. Orton says that’s exactly what he’s saying. Take it or leave it. Cena says 60 minutes, anything goes, and if he loses he leaves RAW. Cena says he’s on. The two shake hands, and we’re set to finally end this rivalry.

Somebody has a sign in the crowd with a picture of a slobbering Daffy Duck that says “JACK THWAGGER” on it. Somebody’s been reading Bored Wrestling Fan. Anyways, Swagger’s here. He says he looks and smells like a winner, because he is a winner. FYI, he didn’t get pinned last night, and going forth, he will not lose. For the rest of the year, he promises that he will go undefeated. He’s the All American American, Jack Swagger, and he approves this message. Primo’s shitty music starts, and so does the Aldo Montoya pyro, and we confirm that the Cena/Orton match won’t be tonight, it will be at the Bragging Rights PPV. Please, for the love of insert supreme being here, let Cena lose so I don’t have to see him the next night in Buffalo.

Jack Swagger vs. Primo

Swagger’s prophecy starts off on the right foot as he easily defeats Primo following a gutwrench powerbomb.

Chris Jericho and The Big Show are here. We’ll hear from the Tag Team Champions later on tonight.

Backstage, the Divas are arguing when referee Santino blows the whistle. He calls encroachment on #23 on the defense. Mickie asks what the hell he’s talking about. He says he’s trying to get into the football spirit, and asks Mickie and Alicia to kiss and make up. Alicia slaps Santino and the Divas start brawling again.

The Miz interrupts Ben Roethlisberger and complains about Swagger insinuating that The Miz lost last night. Big Ben asks what happened. Miz admits to getting pin. The Miz says that being awesome isn’t a catch phrase. He asks for a shot at Kofi Kingston tonight. After all, it’s his birthday week. Ben says he can do this. He makes the match, but says there’s a stipulation. If Miz loses, he gets in the middle of the ring, takes the microphone, and tells everybody that “I’m The Miz, and I’m Awful.”

Last week, Chavo punched Chris Masters in the face for hurting Hornswoggle for some reason. Chavito is here, teaming with The Masterpiece again. Their opponents are the team of MVP and Mark Henry. Shouldn’t MVP be WWE Champion by now?

MVP & Mark Henry vs. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters

Henry and MVP pick up the win, but Henry appears to have injured his leg.

After the match, Masters asks Chavo what happened. He gets in Guerrero’s face, and Guerrero shoves him. Masters gets Guerrero in the Master Lock, but Hornswoggle comes to Chavo’s rescue. Chavo drops Masters with a DDT, and then Hornswoggle gives Chavo a DX style crotch chop.

Ben Roethlisberger is on his way to the ring.

Roethlisberger makes his way out to the ring – and he barely gets a sentence out when…

WELL… WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW – BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

Show wants to know whey they call him Big Ben. How big can his big offensive line be compared to The Big Show. Jericho says they’re probably not as big as he is. Roethlisberger invites them out. The Steelers O-line make their way to the ring. Jericho asks if they’re supposed to be intimidated. He says this isn’t a football field, it’s the WWE ring. JeriShow don’t wear helmets or pads, or take time off for turf toe. He suggests the Steelers get a huddle going and figure out a strategy, because Jericho and The Big Show are the best team in sports. The Steelers huddle and line up at the line of scrimmage. The Big Show prepares to go at them, but thinks better of it…

BREAK IT DOWN!

DX are here for some reason. Jericho says he should’ve expected a potential Sportscenter moment ruined by two miscreants who hare just here to shill their merchandise (which Jericho shills in the meantime). Triple H says he just wanted to tell Jericho how nice his hair looks. Jericho says “really?” Triple H says hell no, his hair looks ridiculous. HBK says he’s tired of Jericho running his mouth about how many great tag teams they’ve faced. There’s one they haven’t faced. Show asks if that’s some kind of challenge. HBK says he’s in pain, but yeah, it’s a challenge. Show suggests he goes home and nurses his wounds, because DX doesn’t want a part of JeriShow. Jericho says HBK isn’t worthy. DX don’t deserve to face The Big Show and Chris Jericho. Roethlisberger says that tonight, JeriShow will face DX. He says if they’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for you… The Steelers and DX do the crotch chops and set off the pyro.

Up next, it’s The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston for the WWE United States Championship

Kofi Kingston is here, and he’s got his United States Championship with him. His opponent is from Cleveland Ohio, and if he loses, he has to announce that he’s The Miz, and He’s Awful.

The Miz def. Kofi Kingston to become the new United States Champion

After a hell of a match, The Miz finally hits the Skull Crushing Finale and becomes the NEW United States Heavyweight Champion!

After the match, he takes the microphone and he says that we’re looking at the NEW United States Champion, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!

Earlier Tonight: John Cena and Randy Orton set the stipulations for their No Disqualification Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights.

Backstage, Hornswoggle is talking to Ben Roethlisberger when Santino comes in and complains about being slapped and mauled by the Divas. He calls him Ben Surfandturfer. Santino tries to pronounce Roethlisberger’s name, even calling him “Ben Bralesswonder.” Hornswoggle slaps Santino, who then manages to say Roethlisberger.

The Big Show and Chris Jericho are walking backstage. That means, they’re next!

You can help out the Ben Roethlisberger Foundation by going to bigben7.com/foundation.aspx

Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood are the guest hostesses next week. One of them is featured in WWE Magazine this month (the one with DX on the cover) as the Sexy Celebrity Super Fan of the month, and the article asks her about her experience guest hosting RAW.

The Unified Tag Team Champions make their way out, and then…

Are You Ready?

DX head to the ring. They don’t bother to do their little spiel, it’s all business for the HeartBreak Kid and The Game tonight.

DX def. JeriShow

NOTE: As you guys know by now, I leave for work before the end of RAW. This week we had some technical difficulties with the site, so I didn’t bother to get somebody to finish the review for me. I have not seen this match, so the following is my knowledge of the main event based on other reviews I’ve read. This won’t be a weekly thing, just this week due to the technical problems.

JeriShow focused on DX’s injuries from last night’s Hell In A Cell match, but DX held their own. Jericho attempted to leave, but was stopped at the top of the ramp by the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line. Jericho was forced back into the ring and ate Sweet Chin Music, leading to the DX victory.

My Thoughts: “Please let Orton win, please let Orton win, please let Orton win.” Those are my thoughts. Bragging Rights is Sunday, October 25th. On October 26th, I’ll be in attendance at RAW. If Orton wins, Cena’s gone from RAW. I don’t know why I’m so hell bent on not seeing John Cena at RAW. I think I’m just frustrated with the direction of his character from the time he won the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 21. I was a huge Cena mark when I saw him at WrestleMania XIX in Seattle and the night he turned face on SmackDown in Buffalo. I’m just bored with him now. WWE pushes him like crazy despite the fact that it’s obvious a lot of fans hate him. I understand why though – he sells a lot of merchandise and is probably the closest thing they have to a mainstream star right now, the Hulk Hogan of this generation. For what it’s worth, the dark main event that has been advertised for RAW the day after Bragging Rights is DX and Cena against Orton and Legacy.

Now, the future. The Miz and John Morrison called themselves the greatest tag team of the 21st Century (that’s a hint for those of you doing the “guess the match” thing in the back of this month’s WWE Magazine, BTW), and both hold the secondary titles on their respective brands now, with JoMo the Intercontinental Champion and The Miz as the United States Champion. These two guys are going to be HUGE in the future. Of course, I probably would’ve said that two years ago about MVP, but we see where he is. Teaming with Mark Henry to face Chavo Guerrero and Chris Masters.

DX has been the focal point of RAW and the last three PPVs. Nevermind that Randy Orton and John Cena have traded the WWE Championship back and forth in what could be considered epic battles through those last three events. For these guys to get top billing over the guys wrestling for the championship leads me to believe that one of them maybe knows somebody in power in the WWE. Oh look, I can make subtle jokes about who Triple H is married to too!

That’s it for RAW this week, folks. I just want to let you guys know of a couple of things we’ve got going on around here in the near future. First, I’m working on a new BWF Skin that should be available sometime in the next couple of days. I’m also planning on dropping the “Grungy” and “BlueMania 25” themes. I’m not happy with them, and in the case of “Grungy,” it’s hard to expand upon when we add new things. I’m also planning on doing an Eddie Guerrero tribute column next month on the four year anniversary of his death. I’d like to include the thoughts of our readers, so get those to us in one of three ways – send them in a PM to ThinkSoJoE on the BWF Network Forums, tweet them to @BrdWrstlngFn, or e-mail them to GuerreroTribute@boredwrestlingfan.com.

“Hell in a Cell” PPV

October 4, 2009 7:39 pm 3 Comments

Surprise!

(more…)

BWF Roundtable: Hell In A Cell

October 3, 2009 6:48 pm 4 Comments

What’s up everyone and welcome to the second edition of the Roundtable. Tonight I am your host as we sit down and predict this Sunday’s “Hell In A Cell” pay per view! Tonight we all of the BWF staff on board with their predictions, so without further ado, let’s get this show on the road:

1. World Heavyweight Championship Match- CM Punk vs. Undertaker (Hell in a Cell Match):

Legend Killer: Punk retains. Oh yeah, nobody else picks it, but watch for Batista.

ThinkSoJoE: We still don’t know for sure who put Long, Punk, and Scott Armstrong up to screwing The Undertaker at Breaking Point, so I’m sure that he’ll get screwed again at Hell In A Cell. Punk’s leaving with the gold.

Tharvey1: Undertaker over CM Punk

Drowgoddess: I want CM Punk to win and retain the title. It’s considered a foregone conclusion that Taker wins here, but it’s just too soon. Taker winning here makes no sense.

JT: It is more logical to have Punk retain here since he has people to feud with such as Batista, Rey Mysterio, And even to a lesser extent Great Khali and John Morrsion. If Taker wins he has Kane and that’s about it unless they turn Batista heel, which I don’t see happening. Punk retains.

2. Divas Championship Match- Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox:

Legend Killer: Mickie James. Who the hell is Alicia Fox?

ThinkSoJoE: Why even have a Hell in a Cell PPV if you don’t have EVERY match inside a Hell In A Cell? This one will be a victory for Mickie James if the WWE wants their women’s division to have even an ounce of credibility compared to TNA’s

Tharvey1: Mickie James over Alicia Fox

Drowgoddess: Mickie James. That Alicia Fox is even in a ppv title match is appalling.

JT: Mickie James. Do I really need to explain.

3. WWE Championship Match- John Cena vs. Randy Orton (Hell in a Cell Match):

Legend Killer: Cena. Because the WWE are like that.

ThinkSoJoE: Cena just won the title. Cena sells merchandise. WWE have a new toy deal starting in January with Mattel, and cheap looking toy championships to sell. Cena ain’t losing at HIAC.

Tharvey1: John Cena over Randy Orton

Drowgoddess: Cena wins. After the last RAW, it’s a given.

JT: I think that the stipulation in that if Orton loses, he can’t have another title shot. So, I’m going with Orton here. Plus like with Punk, it’s better for Orton to be champ, since he can go on to feud with HHH and HBK and even the long awaited Mark Henry feud we’ve all been waiting for. If Cena wins, he has nobody and babyface vs. babyface feuds can’t happen all the time.

4. D-Generation X vs. The Legacy (Hell in a Cell Match):

Legend Killer: DX. See previous match. Also, Cody Rhodes was Rey Mysterio jr. in WCW.

ThinkSoJoE: If there wasn’t another PPV between now and Survivor Series, there would be no question in my mind about Legacy winning this match. My assumption is that they’re still booking DX & Cena vs. Orton and Legacy as the dark main event for RAW events after Bragging Rights later this month, the theory of DX finally getting their revenge at Survivor Series could still hold up. I’m going to go with Legacy here.

Tharvey1: DX over Legacy

Drowgoddess: Who are we kidding? DX wins here, and in humiliating fashion. I completely disagree with the people who say that DX has effectively put over Legacy, and that a DX win at HIAC is acceptable.

JT: I’ve got two words for ya: “DX WINS!” I don’t see Legacy having any chance here.

5. United States Championship Match- Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger:

Legend Killer: The Miz. His opponents are a palm tree after a bushfire, and the second is the re-incarnation of Dusty Rhodes.
ThinkSoJoe: All three of these guys have been in a game of one-upsmanship over the past few weeks. Kofi’s outsmarted Miz and Swagger on a few occasions, leading me to believe he’s retaining.

Tharvey1: Jack Swagger over Miz and Kofi Kingston

Drowgoddess: I like all three of these guys, and will be happy no matter who wins. That said, I’m going with Kofi to retain, and Swagger and The Miz to develop a feud of their own over it.

JT: Kofi Kingstion has been champion since June, so a title change is eminent. I’m gonna go with Swagger here.

6. Unified Tag Team Championship Match- Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio:

Legend Killer: Batista and Rey. You really see them losing? Silly wrestling fan, WWE is for kids. Yes, the WWE is now a breakfast cereal.

ThinkSoJoE: Look. I’m going to give the same prediction I’ve given before. They took the time to have a band come in and remake a remix of Jericho and Big Show’s theme music. They’re not splitting the team up this quickly by ending their reign at Hell In A Cell. If they do, and I have to see Batista when RAW comes to Buffalo in three weeks, I’ll be very upset.

Tharvey1: JeriShow over Boretista and Rey Mysterio

Drowgoddess: Batista and Rey would not be in this match if they weren’t going to win it. I don’t want them to, but I predict that they will. That said, I want JeriShow to retain until Edge comes back, and have Edge and Jericho start their inevitable feud with Edge and Christian (who will have lost the ECW title to Regal) winning the tag team titles one more time.

JT: There hasn’t been enough build for this match for me to believe that the titles will change hands. Plus Mysterio has unfinished business with John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler. Plus both Rey and Batista are the next in line to be World Title contenders. Jericho and Big Show retain and keep thetitles until Edge returns and causes them to lose them.

7. Intercontinental Championship Match- John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler:

Legend Killer: errrr … Morrison?

ThinkSoJoE: PLEASE let Ziggler win. It’s no secret that I’m a huge JoMo mark, but the whole “Mr. Ziggles” thing got real old, real quick. I want Ziggler to win just so Morrison will take him seriously enough to stop calling him that. So, my pick is Ziggler.

Tharvey1: John Morrison over Dolph Ziggler

Drowgoddess: Ziggler has been doing well, and I like the guy more than I thought I would, but I don’t see the Guru of Greatness losing the title just yet. With the hint of a Maria heel turn recently, I’d like to see a slow burn on that where Maria eventually does something despicable to help Ziggler win the title, and we have a new heel couple. Morrison retains.

JT: With Rey returning, I think that he’ll want a rematch for the title at some point, probably the first or second Smackdown after the pay per view, and he will face the champion, John Morrison! Ziggler’s day is coming though.

Alright that’s all thanks for joining us for this edition of the BWF Roundtable. Tune in tomorrow for “Hell In A Cell” coverage, plus an all new Random Randomness!

WWE Superstars w/ HIAC Predictions

October 2, 2009 4:23 pm Leave a Comment

What’s up, Peeps?! The HIAC ppv is approaching and I like the concept. The last Superstars has come and gone and my review is late today… like it normally is. I try to be fashonably late.

Match 1: Shad w/ JTG and Eve vs Tyson Kidd w/ David Hart Smith and Natalya

As Todd Grisham said, Shad will try to rep his hood in this match. Shad gets the win in this relatively long match by Superstars standards. Pretty nice finish sees Shad catching Tyson Kidds springboard into a reverse Russian Leg Sweep.

Match 2: Shaemus vs Tyler Reks

How has Tyler Reks not been released yet? This guy can’t even walk properly! Shaemus gets the win with a boot to the face.

Main Event: The Miz vs Kofi Kingston

I want The Miz to be US champ soon! He’s awesome!!! Kofi is good too I guess. He picks up the win in this one as he hits the Trouble in Paradise.

Hell in a Cell Predictions

Intercontinental Title Match: John Morrison defeats Dolph Ziggler

United States Championship Triple Threat Match: Jack Swagger defeats The Miz and Kofi Kingston

Unified Tag Title Match: JeriShow defeats Batista and Rey Mysterio

Tag Team HIAC Match: DX defeats Legacy

Divas Title Match: Mickie James defeats Alicia Fox

World Heavyweight Title HIAC Match: Undertaker defeats CM Punk

WWE Title HIAC Match: John Cena defeats Randy Orton

Tag Archive: Hell In A Cell

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