“Impact” Impressions 9/17/09
3 CommentsSurprise!
Surprise!
It’s line-crossing time!!!
Let’s cross the line, peeps!
“Last Chance to Surrender”
Really? To whom? Do I get to choose?
We open with a match! Excellent!
Match #1: Rhino vs. Sting: This match is part of the tournament to determine who joins Matt Morgan and Kurt Angle in the 4-way main event title match at “No Surrender.” Rhino assaults Sting with a barrage of punches and power. Sting gets Rhino in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Sting can’t even sit down into it anymore. Rhino gets Sting in a body scissors, but Sting refuses to tap out. Rhino lands some stiff chops on Sting. Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex. Rhino goes for a Gore, but Sting dodges it, and plants Rhino with the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting gets the pin and the three count. Sting advances in the tournament. Rhino lays Sting flat with another Gore post-match. The crowd chants “You suck!” Rhino flips off the crowd.
A recap of Rhino’s poat-match assault on Sting. AJ Styles and the TNA trainer see to Sting, and Sting may have cracked ribs.
To the Main Event Mafia locker room. Booker T babbles incoherently. Something about Matt Morgan. Kurt Angle talks about having to fight Morgan. Kip James is trying to put in phone lines. Booker babbles more. He needs to stop. Booker insults Kip, and Kip leaves. Scott Steiner tries to talk down Booker. They continue playing putt-putt golf.
Match #2: Chris Sabin (w/ Alex Shelley) vs. AJ Styles: Some matches, you just have to sit back and enjoy. This is one such match. Just listing the moves doesn’t do it justice anyway. It was counter after counter after counter. AJ wins with the Styles Clash. Alex Shelley was gold on commentary with Tenay and Taz. It’s AJ who advances in the tournament to join the main event at the ppv. Sabin looked awesome in th ematch though. Not that I’m biased or anything….
To the back! Lauren talks to Hernandez about fighting Homicide in the tournament. Eric Young interrupts them. He tells Hernandez that his dreams were crushed, that people like them don’t get a fair shake. Young is going to open Hernandez’s eyes, that he is his brother.
Daniels, the Number One Contender to the X-Division title, hits the ring, and he has a mike. He calls out X-Division Champion Samoa Joe. I love Joe’s new music, even though it isn’t really new. Daniels remembers a time when TNA revolved around the X-Division and three men: Samoa Joe, Daniels, and AJ Styles. We remember that too, Daniels! The three of them became like family. “Unbreakable,” 2005. The first and only time that the X-Division title was defended in the main event of a TNA ppv. The match involved those three, and that night set everything for TNA at the highest level. Joe is bored and tries to leave, but Daniels stops him. Daniels says that the MEM is afraid of Joe. Joe took the money from the MEM and threw away his friendships and his integrity. Daniels asks how Joe’s wife and son can respect him. Joe snaps and throws Daniels over in a brutal suplex.
To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan says that he and Kurt Angle have each other’s backs, and all is great with them.
Match #3: Suicide vs. Doug Williams: This is the third tournament match to determine who gets in the main event title match at the ppv. Doug Williams goes for power and technical mat work. Suicide counters with a more high-flying style. Poor Williams didn’t even get an entrance. Lots of “USA!” chants at Williams. Williams overpowers Suicide, chokes him in the ropes, and otherwise tries to ground the masked man. A snap suplex gets Williams a two-count. Suicide fights back with punches, and lands a dropkick on Williams. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes down and Suicide hits a flying cross body on him. Dinero’s distraction allows Williams to land the Chaos Theory suplex on Suicide and get the pin and win. Doug Williams advances.
To the back! Jeremy Borash talks to Sting about his injured ribs, and Sting not being in his prime. Sting knows that this is his last chance, and he’s going to take it.
The Beautiful People sit on their thrones backstage.
To the back! Lauren interviews The Beautiful People, who don’t care who Madison Rayne’s tag team partner is next week. They’re going to beat Madison Rayne with the ugly stick.
Match #4: Sojourner Bolt and Hamada vs. Christy Hemme and Tara: Tara and Hamada start. The action between Hamada and Tara is great! Hamada tags in Bolt, and Tara throws her around a bit before tagging in Hemme. Hemme gets a two-count on Bolt, and Hamada tags in. We cut to a commercial break. When we return, Bolt and Hemme are in. Tara tags in, and flattens Bolt with a clothesline. Tara gets the win with the Widow’s Peak. Post-match, Hamada plants Bolt with the Hamada Driver and leaves. Tara and Christy Hemme win.
To the back! JB asks Kurt Angle about Matt Morgan and mind games. Morgan comes up and claims that at the ppv, the world title match will come down to Morgan and Angle, and there will be no questions asked.
A video package detailing the history of LAX airs. This is the end of LAX. That makes me sad. We never got the big LAX vs MCMG tag team title feud that we should have gotten.
Match #5: Homicide vs. Hernandez: This is the last qualifying match for the World title match at the ppv. They shake hands and hug at the start. Hernandez powers down Homicide. Hernandez dominates the match, but Homicide counters with high-flying and scores a two-count. Hernandez recovers and dominates again. Hernandez gets the win after a hugely impressive slam. Homicide looks unhappy.
To the back! Lauren talks to the British Invasion. Doug Williams says that he will take on AJ alone, and talks him up with respect.
To the back! JB talks with AJ Styles about his upcoming match. AJ is rising from the ashes.
Kurt Angle comes out to commentary.
Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams: This match determines one of the two competitors in the ppv main event match. This was another really good match that I just had to sit back and enjoy. Very technically sound. AJ wins after his reverse DDT from the top rope. Really good work.
To the back! Team 3D has Jesse Neal’s back.
Match #7: Hernandez vs. Sting: Not much here, as Homicide ran in and assaulted Sting in the ribs with a bat. Hernandez is disqualified, and Sting gets the win. Homicide is unmasked as Eric Young. Hernandez is very unhappy.
Hernandez is in the ring with the mic, and gets jumped by The British Invasion, followed shortly by the entirety of World Elite. AJ Styles rushes the ring, followed by Beer Money and Team 3D. Major brawling ensues. Team 3D and the audience yell about tables. JT is not here to get them. Bashir is about to go through a table when Booker T and Scott Steiner run down and help the heels turn the tide in their favor. The faces get demolished, and the MEM music plays.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow. Two great wrestling matches, one really good wrestling match, and a blistering Daniels promo. Chris Sabin looked awesome, even in defeat, and should call me at once. Alex Shelley was tremendous on commentary. Tara and Hamada can really go, and would have a great series of matches if allowed. Christy Hemme still can’t wrestle, and Sojourner Bolt is just there. AJ Styles lived up to his moniker again, and by all rights, should win at the ppv. He probably won’t, but he should. Doug Williams reminded everyone just how good he really is. Joe and Daniels built beautifully to their ppv match. Matt Morgan’s interaction with Kurt Angle was great. This was a very solid “Impact,” and I’m stoked about ordering the ppv, as well as next week’s show.
Check back with us at BWF for all your wrestling goodness!
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
Cross the line!
We open with Matt Morgan and a baseball bat. Morgan wants to smash Kurt Angle’s head in with said bat. Angle and the Main Event Mafia get him in the ring and Angle explains that he didn’t pin Morgan and keep the title on purpose. He just fell on him after thinking that he had hit Sting. They agree to team up and take on Team 3D in a tables match. I was late getting to the show, so I missed most of this.
Match #1: Beer Money vs. The British Invasion: This was a street fight, and a non-title match. I’m still getting caught up, so specific moves are not being detailed right now. Loud chants of “We want tables!” Kendo sticks, trash cans, plastic bags, and both members of Beer Money in street clothes. Berr Money dominates rather well. Storm gets knocked off the ring post, but Roode gets in and puts Brutus Magnus through a trash can and gets the pin for the win. Magnus and Roode were very bloody.
To the back! Lauren interviews the Beautiful People. They sit on their thrones. Madison Rayne has been kicked to the curb, and TBP will get her tonight. Short but awesomely fun promo, as per usual from TBP.
To the back! Cody Deaner and ODB argue loudly over Deaner’s status as Knockouts champion. Foley and JB are talking, but Foley offers to help. Deaner uses Foley’s white board to visually demonstrate that when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you and umption. Foley says that he will retreat to his inner sanctum, and issue a verdict on the Knockouts champion status next week on “iMPACT.” Abyss comes up and Foley thanks him for his help against Nash at the ppv. Foley gives Abyss a gift. “Is it groceries? I love groceries!” Foley tells Abyss that it isn’t groceries. It is, in fact, a blue flannel. Abyss cries. Foley says that there is no crying in wrestling. Abyss straightens up. Foley and Abyss discuss spilling their own blood. Foley wants his bat back.
Mike Tenay and Taz are the official broadcast team. Don West has been promoted within the merchandising company. Tenay and Taz run down the evening’s card.
Match #2: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love: Rayne enters to the Beautiful People’s music, alone and looking scared. Love jumps Rayne from behind and throws her into the barricade. Love manhandles Rayne to the ring. Love pins Rayne in a matter of seconds. Velvet Sky scampers down to the ring. TBP put the boots to Rayne, and give her the Brown Paper Bag treatment. Tara and Christy Hemme run to Rayne’s aid, and TBP bail.
The Motor City Machine Guns bring us all a public service message. Their lack of tv time has made their paychecks smaller. The MCMG are all about three things: Entertaining you, the fans. Getting laid. Getting paid. For $2000 an hour, you can hire their services. They’ll play video games, go see movies, or sit on your couch and do absolutely nothing while you make them dinner. Call now, and they’ll throw in a free Sham-Wow! I’ll continue this real-time when I get back from the bank.
Match #3: Samoa Joe vs. Homicide: X-Division Champion Samoa Joe has a rematch against Homicide from the ppv. Joe’s strikes seem lacking in power. Joe hits a nice snap slam on Homicide, but Homicide kicks out at two. Joe continues to outpower Homicide, but the Notorious 187 refuses to stay down. Homicide uses speed, and takes Joe down, but can’t get the three-count. Joe gets the pin with a muscle buster. Clean win for Joe.
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, totally pimped out, arrives in a chauffeured car.
To the back! Lauren interviews Tara, Christy Hemme, Sarita, and Taylor Wilde are very happy. Next week starts a Knockouts tag team tournament. Tara and Christy will team up, as will Taylor Wilde and Sarita. Tonight is the Four-way dance between Traci Brooks, Awesome Kong, Sarita, and Christy Hemme.
Match #4: Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. Traci Brooks (w/ Sharmell) vs. Sarita (w/ Taylor Wilde) vs. Christy Hemme (w/ Tara): This was a four-way singles match. Kong and Sarita start. Kong totally outpowers Sarita. Sarita pulls the ropes and Kong goes over the top and hits the floor. Sarita takes down Traci with a spinning head scissors. Traci and Christy slap at each other. Kong clotheslines Traci on the floor. Sarita flies over the top and takes out Kong. We go to a commercial break. When we return, Christy goes for the FFCLG, but Kong plants her. Christy later hits the FFCLD on Traci, but Kong hits Christy with the Implant Buster. Sarita tries a missile dropkick, but Kong catches her and throws her down. While Kong climbs to the top turnbuckle, Traci rolls over and steals the pin on Christy. Traci gets the win. KONG MAD! KONG SMASH! Kong throws chairs as the remaining Knockouts bail up the ramp.
Consequences Creed (w/ Jay Lethal) is in the ring when we return from a commercial break.
Match #5: “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Consequences Creed: Lethal is sent to the back by the ref. Pope and Creed exchange arm holds. Creed hits a springboard clothesline, and takes down Pope. Pope returns the favor with a stiff punch. Pope hits a Bronco Buster from behind, sliding through the ropes to the floor. Pope follows up with a barrage of stiff punches and a sleeper hold. Creed fights to his feet. Pope goes for a kick, but Creed catches the foot. Pope is all charisma and flash, a total major league player. Pope pulls down his knee pads and hits Creed with a running double knee to the back. Pope gets the pin and win. Post-match, the lights go out and Suicide’s music plays. Suicide rushes the ring and attacks Pope. Pope bails and looks at Suicide with the Booker T googly eyes. Suicide gestures at Pope with the slice across the throat.
AJ Styles walks toward the ring from backstage.
To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan, asking him if he’s buying what Angle said earlier. Morgan claims that he’s totally buying it because Kurt Angle never lies. He slips up and says Angle will get his “boot” instead of his “back.” Morgan blames his inexperience and nervousness.
To the ring! AJ Styles is in street clothes. He has a mic. The audience chants his name loudly. He says that he’s had it pretty rough for the last few weeks. He always had it rough, but he never quit. He is proud of the man that he has become. More “AJ!” chants. What he isn’t so proud of is losing the Legends title, losing the matches against Matt Morgan, and losing friends like Eric Young and Samoa Joe. He has already missed half the lives of his kids while he’s on the road, and when he is home, he can’t stop being bothered by things like this from work. He yells at his family over petty things because he’s hung up on the work problems. It isn’t worth it. It’s time for AJ Styles to say goodbye to professional wrestling. He loves the TNA fans, and he’s sorry. Sting walks out in street clothes and sunglasses. Loud crowd chants of “Sting!” Sting grabs a mic. He asks AJ if that’s the legacy that AJ really wants to leave after seven years. He says that AJ is saying, “I quit.” He’s quitting on his wife, his kids, the fans, the little kids who want to be him. Sting takes off the glasses and tells AJ that he’s quitting on him too. Right now, AJ is a loser because quitting is what losers do. Does AJ think that Sting hasn’t suffered, both professionally and personally? He hasn’t quit in over twenty years. He wanted to pass the torch to somebody, somebody who could bring honor, dignity, and respect back to the business. He had been talking about AJ the whole time. AJ is, or was, the Chosen One. AJ can either go home and quit, or go in the back, lace up his boots, and claim what is his. AJ is near tears, but he stops, and hugs Sting. Sting says that AJ is supposed to be “The Man,” and tells AJ to come with him. They leave up the ramp together as Taz and Tenay wonder if AJ has really quit or not.
To the back! Lauren asks Hernandez when he plans to cash in his briefcase for a World title shot. Hernandez says that the night he cashes it in will be the night he becomes World Heavyweight Champion. Eric Young interrupts, and tells Hernandez to come talk to him, presumably about joining World Elite.
To the announce table! “The Boss” Bobby Lashley comes to the announce table, and says that next week will be the TNA television debut of TNA President Dixie Carter. She will announce, among other things, Bobby Lashley’s role in TNA. Tenay invites Lashley to stay at the table and join the commentary. He accepts.
Match #6: Team 3D vs. Matt Morgan and Kurt Angle: Team 3D enters first. Matt Morgan enters next. Kurt Angle enters, but makes a beeline for Lashley and attacks him at the announce table. Lashley fights back, but Angle makes it to the ring. This was a tables match. Angle and Brother Ray start. Typical Team 3D tables match, with lots of stiff punches and forearms. Team 3D targets Angle’s neck. Morgan overpowers Devon. Team 3D double-teams Morgan over the ropes, and follow up on Angle. When we return from commercial break, Devon leaps off the rope to deliver the Wazzup. “Get the tables!” Team 3D sets up the tables in the ring. Morgan rolls into the ring and clotheslines Team 3D from behind. Morgan moves a table and gestures for a chokeslam. Morgan chokeslams Devon, but Ray moves the table. Angle tags in. Angle goes after Devon, whose mouth appears to be bleeding. Angle goes for an Angle Slam through a table, but Morgan moves the table just as Devon reverses the move. Morgan rushes at another table with a Carbon Footprint, but breaks the table on his own. The match continues, as no one was put through a table by an opponent. Team 3D dominates, and Ray hits Angle with a super kick on the floor. Ray brings another table from the backstage area. Angle fights off Team 3D alone in the ring. Angle calls Morgan into the ring afterwards. Morgan’s knee is still bad from the bothced kick through the table. Angle orders Morgan to the top rope, but Morgan’s knee can’t handle it. Team 3D grab him on the top rope and throw Morgan through the table. Team 3D wins. Post-match, Angle and Morgan yell at each other.
The End.
Cross the line!
Match #1: Christy Hemme defeats Sojo Bolt: We open going straight into the match, which is awesome. Christy looks great, and is better in the ring than she has ever been. Not top-of-the-card Knockouts action, by any means, but she certainly didn’t embarrass herself.
Tenay and West run down tonight’s card, and a split screen shows AJ Styles and Matt Morgan entering the arena.
Lauren interviews Taz about Samoa Joe’s loss to Hernandez. Taz says that Joe let himself down. Joe beat Joe. Taz will motivate Joe, and turn a negative into a positive. Homicide will be the one to suffer, and Joe will put him out. Solid promo with excellent delivery by Taz.
Match #2: Hernandez defeats Doug Williams: I still don’t like Hernandez’s new music. Hernandez holds Williams up in a suplex for an eternity before landing a backbreaker over his shoulder. Brutus Magnus distracts Hernandez, and Williams takes control. Williams targets the neck and shoulders. Williams goes to the top turnbuckle, but misses a back senton. Don West is awesome! He says that the TNA fans aren’t the smartest of people, are the chants of “USA! USA!” for the Mexican or the Brit? Williams goes for a top rope cross body, but Hernandez catches him and plants him with a sit-down powerbomb for the win. Brutus magnus attacks hernandez post-match, but Hernandez disposes of him. Rob Terry attacks Hernandez with the “Feast or Fired” briefcase, and knocks him down. The British Invasion bails, and Hernandez gives chase once he regains his footing.
To the back! Hernandez grabs the mic from Lauren and yells something in Spanich. He leaves.
To the Mike Tenay sit-down interview! It’s with Bobby Lashley. Tenay says that he has followed every second of Lashley’s WWE career, and that professional wrestling wasn’t enough for him. Way to insult everyone, Mike. Is it possible to be successful in pro wrestling and MMA at the same time? Lashley says that he can. Tenay brings up the Main Event Mafia and Kurt Angle’s desire to be the greatest wrestler ever. Who would win between the greatest wrestler ever and the greatest MMA fighter ever? Lashley says that the fans will.
Jeremy Borash interviews Dr. Stevie (with a smokin’ hot Daffney) about his bounty on the head of Abyss. Dr. Stevie talks about defeating and destroying “Chris.” Abyss rushes in, grabs Dr. Stevie by the throat, and tells him to finish the job himself. Abyss is attacked by a chair-wielding “Outlaw” Jethro Holiday. For some reason.
To the back! Lauren interviews Tara, who has Poison crawling over her arm. Tara talks about Awesome Kong, and Lauren talks up the four-way Knockouts match. Tara is in creepy mode, and I likes it.
Match #3: Eric Young and Sheik Abdul Bashir (w/ Kiyoshi) defeat Rhino and Jesse Neal: Jesse Neal has the same haircut and ring gear that he had for his first match, which is appalling. Neal and Young (Ha! See what I did there?) start out. Rhino tags in and works over Young’s midsection. Neal tags back in. Tenay and West talk up the problems between Neal and Rhino. Young drives Neal into his corner, and Bashir tags in. Bashir tags in Young. Young levels Neal with a clothesline. Tenay and West talk up the “Steel Asylum” match that will take place at “Hard Justice.” The winner will be the Number One Contender to the X-Division title. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed, Jay Lethal, Amazing Red, Suicide, and a debuting “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero (formerly known as Elijah Burke) are in it. Why am I afraid that Dinero/Burke is going to be handed the win and a shot at the X-Division title for his debut match that happens to be on a ppv, and the true X-Division guys will get shoved aside yet again? I hope that I’m wrong. Young and Bashir isolate Neal, and quickly tag each other in and out. Rhino is not happy. Neal has a chance to tag in Rhino, but attacks Bashir instead. Young grabs his trunks and rolls Neal up for the pin. Post-match, Rhino yells at Neal and slaps him. When Neal turns away, Rhino sets up and Gores him. Tenay and West play Rhino up as the face.
To the back! Lauren interviews Rhino about his treatment of Jesse Neal, actually getting some bass in her voice and challenging Rhino about it. “What do you think this is, the Lifetime Channel?” Awesome! Rhino delivers a strong promo about respecting what Neal has done in the military, but doubting that Neal can handle wrestling.
Match #4: Tara defeats ODB (w/ Cody Deaner), Angelina Love (w/ Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky), andAwesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed): Kong and Tara go after each other, while The Beautiful People bail and hide from Cody Deaner. ODB drinks from her flask, and shares it with Tara. Tara “Hulks up” and smacks her own boobs. ODB climbs to the top and leaps off onto Kong, Raisha Saeed, and Cody Deaner. Tara climbs to the top and leaps off on The Beautiful People. Tara smashes her head on the floor. Kong and Tara fight to the outside. Angelina Love takes out ODB with the Botox Injection bicycle kick. Kong broke up the count. ODB and Kong go. Kong womanhandles ODB, but ODB kicks out twice. Tara and Angelina Love fight outside the ring. Kong chokeslams ODB. Deaner hops up on the apron and screams at Kong. Deaner acts like he wants to fight Kong, but grabs her by the head and kisses her instead. Kong stares at Deaner, then pulls him into the ring and plants him with the Awesome Bomb. Tara runs in and rolls up Kong for the win.
To the back! Lauren talks to AJ Styles about his upcoming match against Matt Morgan. With the “Best of Three” series tied at one win each, AJ’s loss will put Sting at a huge disadvantage.
To the back! Jeremy Borash talks with Team 3D. I hate that Brother Devon talks respectfully about Booker T and Scott Steiner. More kissing up to Harlem Heat and the Steiner Brothers, neither of which are current teams. Talking up the Team 3D versus Booker T and Scott Steiner tag team title match.
Match #5: Scott Steiner (w/ Booker T and Sharmell) defeats Brother Ray (w/ Brother Devon): This was a “No DQ” match. Steiner gets the mic and blah blah blah. Brother Ray takes a mic and kisses up to Harlem Heat and the Steiner Brothers, before pointing out that garbage is also a household name, and, like them, it’s getting old and stinking. Slow, plodding, power game. Sharmell and Booker interfere. Ray takes Steiner’s chain mail headdress and puts it on. The British Invasion come down and distract, allowing Booker and Steiner to put Ray through a table and get the win. This was barely a match, and far too short for this sort of thing. With interference almost right away, it was pointless.
To the contract signing! Mike Tenay oversees as Mick Foley and Kevin Nash sign contracts for the Legends title match on Sunday at teh “Hard Justice” ppv. Both guys have final pre-match comments. Foley says that he doesn’t think that he’s ever had a conversation with Nash that didn’t revolve around money. Doesn’t a sense of pride or accomplishment meananything to Nash? Nash tells Foley that he could have made $20,000 at the past weekend’s authograph session, which he thinks that Foley cost him. Why doesn’t Foley take the easy way out, like Nash always has? Foley says that Nash may look down on him, but he loves wrestling with the sort of passion that would allow him to do it for free. Nash strips down and calls himself an athlete and a businessman, while Foley is a pathetic wrestler. Foley says that he’ll bring his set of skills on Sunday, and Nash can bring his, and they’ll see what happens. Foley says that they’re on a wrestling show, in a wrestling ring, with a title contract for a wrestling match, and nobody’s going through that table? Nash says that he doesn’t get paid for that, so he won’t go through it or put Mick through it for free. Mick says that he would put Nash through the table for free, and then announces that he thinks that he will go through the table for free. Foley runs off the ropes and hurls himself through the table. People cheer.
To the video package for the “Steel Asylum” match!
To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan feels no pressure, and is completely confident that he will win. He guarantees victory, in fact.
Match #6: Matt Morgan (w/ Kurt Angle) defeats AJ Styles (w/ Sting): This was the rubber match to determine the third man in the three-way dance at “Hard Justice” for the World Heavyweight title. AJ takes the match to Morgan by running the ropes and landing a flip dive over the top rope. AJ and Morgan fight on the floor, and AJ takes Morgan down with a flying forearm. Morgan is finally rolled into the ring and the bell rings to start the match. AJ puts Morgan in the Figure Four leg lock for a long time. Morgan screams, but won’t tap. Morganmakes it to the ropes, and AJ breaks the hold. Morgan gets his wind back, and uses his power against AJ. Morgan dominates AJ. Don West says that Angle has announced that this is Morgan’s last test for MEM membership. If Morgan wins this match, and helps him retain the title, he’ll be in. AJ kicks out several times, but Morgan continues to toy with him, and won’t allow AJ a chance to get in any offense. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint in the corner, but AJ dodges and lands a few punches. AJ hits a missile dropkick, but Morgan kicks out at two. Morgan catches AJ in a side slam, but AJ kicks out at two. AJ hits a Pele out of nowhere, but Morgan kicks out just in time. Morgan takes AJ’s head off with a Carbon Footprint, and gets the pin. Matt Morgan, Kurt Angle, and Sting will fight in the “Hard Justice” main event. Post-match, the entire MEM comes to the ring, applauding. Angle gets a mic.
Angle praises Morgan, and claims that the MEM was scouting him to recruit him all along. Morgan says that he thought that he was selling himself to the MEM, not the other way around. Angle says that Morgan has one last little thing to do before getting in to the MEM. Morgan says that Angle can’t possibly be asking him to help Angle retain the title. Angle says that he’s not asking it, he’s demanding it. Morgan calls Angle “little man,” and tells him that no one demands anything of “The Blueprint.” He isn’t passing up this opportunity, and he will be walking out of the match as the new World Heavyweight Champion. Angle is furious, and has to be restrained by the MEM as Morgan exits up the ramp. Morgan’s face turn is here.
“Hard Justice” Predictions:
Bounty Match: Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday
Abyss needs the win here.
Winner gets World Heavyweight title shot from the “Feast or Fired” briefcase: Hernandez vs. Big Rob Terry
Hernandez has got to get the win here.
New Japan IWGP Tag Team Championship match: The British Invasion (champs) vs. Beer Money
The British Invasion retains, if only because New Japan already issued one statement (later retracted) that they didn’t recognize the title change, and it can’t possibly happen again.
“Steel Asylum” match (winner is #1 Contender for the X-Division title): Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Daniels vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red
If there were a god, Chris Sabin would win. That being said, Jay Lethal won the last one. I’m picking Daniels to win. This is all null and void if Don West was right, and Elijah Burke debuts as “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero in this match. If he does, you can just hand him the win, as that’s the track record here.
Knockouts Championship title match: Angelina Love (w/ Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky) vs. ODB (w/ Cody Deaner)
Angelina retains. Please.
X-Division title match: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe (w/ Taz)
Homicide retains. He hasn’t had the title long, and there’s been no focus on it since he won it. He shouldn’t lose it yet.
Tag Team Championship match: Booker T and Scott Steiner (champs) vs. Team 3D
Team 3D should win here. I doubt that they will, but they should.
Legends Championship match: Mick Foley (champ) vs. Kevin Nash
Foley retains. Why let him win it if he’s going to lose it right away?
World Heavyweight title match: Kurt Angle (champ) vs. Matt Morgan vs. Sting
Angle retains. It’s Angle, duh.
That’s it for the real-time. Check back Sunday for a review of “Hard Justice!”
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
It’s chaotic! It’s crazy! It’s RAW!
Two hundred episodes of “Impact.” And I’ve watched them all.
Greetings, fellow line-crossers!
Your Empress of “Impact” is here, with a review of tonight’s go-home show and predictions for Sunday’s “Sacrifice” pay-per-view. Tonight’s episode is titled “Double J in Jeopardy.” Will the TNA Founder remember to phrase the answer in the form of a question? Let’s find out!
It’s Thursday night, your Empress of “Impact” is here, and that can only mean one thing. No, not THAT! It’s time to find the nearest line and cross it!
Here are links to two good reviews of this week’s “Impact.”
http://www.f4wonline.com/content/view/9169/
http://www.prowrestling.net/artman/publish/TNATVreports/article1005671.shtml
Real life has gotten in the way of proper reviews lately, so this week, here are some thoughts to accompany the above reviews. Consider it a slight rip-off of our good buddy JT’s “Random Randomness,” except that all points apply to a single “Impact” episode, making it not actually random at all. Did I mention that JT rules? He does.
1. Angle putting up his leadership position of the Main Event Mafia at “Sacrifice?” Ok. So the MEM will suddenly snap to and follow the lead of someone not named Kurt Angle just because of a match? Who would even want that spot, knowing perfectly well that the MEM would just take them out? Even in wrestling, people aren’t that stupid.
2. Amazing Red! He was never one of my favorites because he always seemed very sloppy in the ring to me, but I enjoyed watching him back in the early days of TNA, and having him back could be grand. The new look really helps. If you saw his old look, you know of what I speak. Honestly, though, Red’s last work in TNA was long enough ago that lots of current fans have no idea who he is. Having wild surprises is great, but in the case of Red, a few weeks of video packages, or even a “Rough Cuts” segment, would have been more effective. His big return was far from bad, don’t get me wrong. It’s just not a surprise when half your audience is thinking, “Who?”
3. Amazing Red and Suicide beat the MCMG. So there are other plans for the MCMG besides TNA tag team championship matches. As long as they’re on tv, I can’t complain. However, this is the third match in this tournament (more on that later) in which an established, legitimate tag team was beaten by two guys who were teaming together for the first time. Why? What does that do to make the tag team division look good? If there were a reason for it (injury, team dissension, and so on), then fine, but now No Limit, Lethal Consequences, MCMG, and LAX are all out of the tag team title tournament. Three of those matches were clean losses (not counting the LAX beatdown by the British Invasion). It’s Beer Money and three teams of random guys. This does not count as shaking up the tag team division with new blood! It just looks like any two guys can team up and legitimately beat guys who have been teaming for several years.
4. The Beautiful People seem to be hanging Madison Rayne out to dry. Funny. The group interaction is always fun to watch.
5. Cody Deaner and Abyss. Again? This seems to be a feud, but I’m not liking it. Deaner makes me want to change the channel. Was he really worth getting rid of Petey and Sonjay? ODB’s peacock hairdo hurts my soul.
6. Mick Foley searches for back-up against Kurt Angle’s invasion of his office. This is actually fun. Mick goes to the MCMG and Samoa Joe and gets nowhere, but watching him try was great. Particularly after his history with Alex Shelley. Suicide is Al Snow?
7. The British Invasion bit was very well-done. If there had to be a match in the tag team tournament where an established team was beaten by a new one, this was it. Not crazy about the name “British Invasion,” but it could be worse. At least Brutus Magnus is out of the gladiator gimmick. He can only get better working with Doug Williams, and then, everybody wins. Magnus has a good look and isn’t a bad talker, but his ring work was painful to watch up until now. He seems much more comfortable as part of a team. Good. Taking out Hernandez and triple-teaming Homicide made absolute sense. A solid introduction for the faction, and I’m actually looking forward to what they do next. Yes, I’m eating my words from a previously-posted thread. It happens.
8. Kong squashing Madison Rayne was great, as the fans kept chanting “One more time! One more time!” Don West was appalled and had some great lines about the sick fans.
9. If you didn’t laugh during the MCMG/Daniels segment, you have no soul. Go to the TNA site and watch the video clip of this segment. It’s actually up. Or just try this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDacEZvsCOQ It includes such gems as –
Alex Shelley: You have a wife and two kids at home who play with our action figures!
Chris Sabin: Why is it that you and Suicide have the exact same build? I mean, let’s face it, that ass is unmistakable!
Sabin shoves his mic into Daniels’s chest with great force. Daniels is still holding his own mic from entering the ring. Shelley leans over and says, “He already has a mic.” Sabin responds, “I just wanted to hit him.”
10. I hate the fact that Jenna Morasca has almost the same first name as me. Whatever she’s getting paid should be spent on acting lessons. Immediately.
11. Daffney and Lauren competing for the affections of Abyss??? Hmm. This could get interesting. I hope Daffney doesn’t get wasted on a non-wrestler, though.
12. Matt Morgan? Offering his services to the MEM? Uh, ok. It may fit character-wise, but he doesn’t meet the requirements. Lashley does. Morgan/Lashley?
13. AJ loses because Joe doesn’t show up. Sure, I’m curious, but isn’t this pretty much admitting that there is no Main Event Mafia versus Front Line?
14. Sting returns. Ok. A bit soon, methinks.
15. Foley losing his mind and being all over the place is more intriguing than nice-guy Legend Foley. No, I don’t want him at the top of the food chain for a year, but I’m interested in seeing where this goes.
Peace out,
Drowgoddess