If anybody hasn’t seen the tweets from the BoredWrestlingFan Twitter, I’m trying to replace myself as the resident RAW reviewer here on the site. It’s a volunteer job. I wish I could pay people to do this. The job may only be temporary. I’m still hoping RYTMAN comes back at some point. Oh well. Let’s go, shall we?
I suffer through RAW so you don’t have to. Read on.
First things first. Happy Memorial Day, and a thank you to those who have made that ultimate sacrifice to allow guys like me to sit here and talk about whatever the hell they want to on the internet. Second, happy 3rd Anniversary to my beautiful wife, Mrs. ThinkSoJoE. Third, happy birthday to my friend and BWF Radio co-host Mark Noyce. Now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s get this 3 hour show out of the way. This is one of those “I don’t feel like watching this show” nights. So we’re going to skip through it and give you basically what you need to know to follow the current storylines. Sound good? Let’s go.
I watch 30 minutes, leave, then watch the whole show from the beginning, just so you don’t have to. Maybe that’s why ratings are slumping?
So. Here’s an interesting predicament. My computer is not currently allowing me to search Google. So it might actually be somewhat difficult for me to find images to post in this review. Apparently some jackass on the same wireless network I’m on was sending automated requests to Google which caused them to Ambrose “nope.” So, let’s hope for the best!
I watch 30 minute of RAW then leave for work to watch the rest here and type up what happened, mostly so YOU don’t have to suffer through it yourself. Aren’t you lucky to know me?
March 31, 1996! Eleven years from the date of the first WrestleMania, it’s time for the twelfth edition of the greatest spectacle in sports entertainment! Tonight, Shawn Michaels takes on Bret “Hitman” Hart in a 60-Minute Iron Man Match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship! Whichever man can score the most falls in the span of one hour will be the winner! Let’s go!
April 2, 1995! Are you ready for WrestleMania XI? Tonight we witness the showdown between Shawn Michaels and Diesel for the WWF Championship, and NFL great Lawrence Taylor steps into the squared circle with The Beast From The East, Bam Bam Bigelow! Let’s get to it!
It’s finally here! March 20, 1994! Tonight, the Superstars of the World Wrestling Federation celebrate a decade of the grandest stage of them all, WrestleMania! Bret and Owen Hart face off, and then Bret goes on to face the winner of the WWF Championship match between Yokozuna and Lex Luger later on tonight! Plus, the Macho Man faces Crush in a falls count anywhere match! And for the first time, the Intercontinental Championship is defended in a ladder match as Shawn Michaels faces Razor Ramon to prove who is the true Champion! All this, and much, much more! Let’s go!
Here we go again. Another Monday, another RAW that I have to leave for work in the middle of a great segment involving Daniel Bryan. But we’ll get to that later. There’s other stuff that happened first. Let’s see how much I can remember and how much I actually have to re-watch. Which might be a lot since I had in-laws over while RAW was on. Let’s go!
I watch RAW. I press “enter” to add line breaks, and they mysteriously vanish by time I read the review on BWF Radio. Meanwhile, I make no money doing this, and I’m flat broke until payday. If only I could come up with a way to generate some money…
Well. We can pretty much assume that CM Punk will not be on RAW this week. Will his absence leave a noticeable mark on the show? I guess there’s only one way to find out. Go watch it, you lazy bastards. What? It’s my job to write about this show and tell you these things so you don’t have to watch it yourselves? Alright fine. Let’s go.
I watch this show so you don’t have to suffer through it. That’s because I think you’re awesome. Unless you’re Richard Sherman. How much shit are you talking with an injured leg? Guess you’re limping to DisneyWorld, huh bitch?
So, you guys know the deal – I usually watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, and review the rest of this show in real time as I watch it. Well, due to inclement weather here in Buffalo, I find myself sitting at home right now, having watched all but 30 minutes of RAW. I went out to catch my bus to work, but although the local bus company insists that their buses were all running on time today, mine never showed up. At the time I left, it was 11 degrees Fahrenheit with a wind chill of -20. As I type this, it’s 1 with a wind chill of -32. So, if you can’t tell, IT’S FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE! So, I called my boss, told him I couldn’t make it in, then came home and watched the rest of Old School RAW. Afterward, I did some DDP Yoga, so I’m here now to actually review the whole show. Let’s go!
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, freeze my ass off waiting for a bus that never shows up, and then come home and watch the rest of RAW. That’s how this particular RAW review works. It’s only getting colder!
Last night, the seeds were planted for a unification of the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships. Jorge wasn’t happy about it, but it left me intrigued. What will happen tonight on Monday Night RAW? Go watch and find out. Let me know what happens. Oh wait, that’s my job. Shit. Ok. Forget G, I’m with Xavier Woods – It’s Morphin’ Time!
This is the part of the review where I’m supposed to explain how my reviews work. But you guys already know how they work. I watch a TV show, then I tell you what happened, so that I can save you three hours of your life. Which means, this text is only here to keep up appearances before the fold. So stop wasting your time reading this and click the “Click to continue reading ‘WWE RAW 11/25/13 – Spears for everybody!'” link. You know you want to…