Random Randomness
4 CommentsIt’s time, it’s time to Kick Out The Jams!for your favorite article of thew week written by me. I shall not make you wait any longer , so here we go: (more…)
It’s time, it’s time to Kick Out The Jams!for your favorite article of thew week written by me. I shall not make you wait any longer , so here we go: (more…)
Last week, Matt Hardy cost CM Punk his chance at regaining his World Heavyweight Champion, leading to Punk assaulting Matt’s younger brother, champion Jeff Hardy. Teddy Long agreed to give Punk a rematch at SummerSlam in a TLC match.
Speaking of CM Punk, he’s here! And he’s got an awesome new t-shirt that I want!
Punk says that if Teddy Long thinks that he’s punishing Punk by making the title match at SummerSlam a TLC match, he’s wrong. Punk knows his way around ladder matches – he won Money In The Bank at back to back WrestleManias. Chairs? Did you see what he did to Hardy last week? Punk says he’s speak about the virtues of living clean, but he realizes that anything he says or does will just make people cheer Jeff Hardy more. He’s figured out what he has to do to get through to them though. He figures all he has to do is end Jeff Hardy. He wants to do it the same way he lives his life – the right way. Straight up, one on one, no family on the outside, just Jeff Hardy and CM Punk with the World Heavyweight Championship hanging above the ring, and TLC. Jeff is already going to screw this up like he does everything else, he might not make it to SummerSlam.
You know it’s the Mack Militant…
Teddy Long makes his way out to the ring, interrupting Punk mid-sentence. What Punk did last week was deplorable. He could’ve ended Jeff Hardy’s career. Before he starts making alternative plans for SummerSlam, however, Jeff Hardy is in the building! He’s in no condition to compete, but he’s assured T-Lo that he’ll be ready to go for SummerSlam. But enough about SummerSlam, tonight, Punk is set to go one on one with a man he hasn’t beaten on SmackDown, John Morrison. Punk calls Long a Jeff Hardy suck-up like all the fans. He says tonight he’ll beat John Morrison, and then at SummerSlam, he’ll beat the poster boy…
So you see the writing on the wall…
Punk can’t seem to finish a thought around here tonight. The World Heavyweight Champion hobbles down to the ring, stopping to shake hands with the fans along the way. Hardy is hurt, but he’s here – “IN YO’ FACE!” Hardy says he’ll endure the pain and defend the title at SummerSlam.
Last week, Kane kidnapped Ranjin Singh.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Teddy Long has his theme song as his ring tone. I know this because Mr. McMahon called him on it when he was sitting in his office. The boss wants Jeff Hardy in action tonight. Long protests, but since he’s still on probation, he’ll agree to have Jeff compete – against The Hart Dynasty.
Finlay still has Hornswoggle’s music, and he makes his way to the ring. Last Friday, he was pinned by Dolph Ziggler, who will face Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam for the Intercontinental Championship. Speaking of Ziggler, guess who Finlay’s opponent is tonight. Hey wait a minute – when did Tony Chimel become the ring announcer for SmackDown again? I liked Justin Roberts, dammit!
Dolph Ziggler def. Finlay
Finlay likes to beat people up, and that’s what he does in the early going. Ziggler turns things around and kicks Finlay’s head into the ring post. Mike Knox appears on the ramp and starts walking down to the ring as we head to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Knox is getting a close up view of this match we’re watching from the comfort of our living rooms (or the BWF offices, as the case may be). Ziggler is still in control. Finlay starts to battle back, but Ziggler doesn’t let the comeback last too long. Finlay turns the tide again, taking Ziggler down for a two count. He builds momentum, sending Ziggler over the top rope and to the floor. Finlay hits Knox for good measure, then takes Ziggler down. While the referee was checking on Ziggler, Knox hit Finlay with the shillelagh, allowing Ziggler to hit his finisher for the victory.
After the match, Knox comes after Finlay with the shillelagh, but Finlay knocks hit out of his hand. No matter, Knox uses his brute strength to assault Finlay, and gives him a sidewalk slam onto the steel steps. Knox says that there are 206 bones in the human body, but what fascinates him is that the slightest trauma on the cervical vertebrae leaves one in excruciating discomfort.
Still to come, it’s John Morrison vs. CM Punk, and Jeff Hardy faces The Hart Dynasty by orders of Mr. McMahon.
Ranjin Singh is tied up backstage, and Kane says he’ll let him go if he says what Kane wants him to say. Singh says that his name is Ranjin Singh, and he’s been punished for his association with The Great Khali. He’s been well taken care of. Kane says he wants to hear from Khali. He wants to see him. He wants him to come and have a look at Kane’s handy work.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Video package on R-Truth, for some reason.
Maria’s got a date with Dolph and can’t figure out what to wear. Melina asks what they’re doing SummerSlam weekend. Dolph is taking her to LA a few days early and they’re getting a nice hotel room. Layla comes in and says Dolph will leave when somebody better comes along. Layla tells Melina that Michelle McCool is coming back next week. Melina says she’s got a message for Michelle, and she’ll give it to her in the ring.
John Morrison is out first for his match. Last night he beat David Hart Smith on Superstars, and tonight he’s got a match with the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, and that is NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
CM Punk and his awesome new shirt come down to the ring when we come back, and we relive his attack on Jeff Hardy last week.
CM Punk def. John Morrison
You knew it. I knew it. This is one of those matches. One of those matches you just have to sit back and watch. Back and forth action early on, but Punk suckered Morrison out of the ring, knocking him down with a kick and hitting a guillotine kneedrop of sorts to the back of Morrison’s skull before we proceed to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Punk is in control when we come back. He smiles, and the crowd boos accordingly. Morrison starts battling back. JR calls them “two future world champions.” Nevermind the fact that both men are former ECW Champions, and that Punk is the former two time World Heavyweight Champion. Morrison takes control of the match, scoring two counts on a standing moonsault and a top rope cross body. Punk manages to get control back, and gets Morrison up in GTS position, but instead rams Morrison head first into the turnbuckle a couple of times. Punk lays in the kicks as the fans start to chant for Morrison. JoMo mounts another comeback, but as he goes for Starship Pain, Punk gets up and crotches Morrison on the top turnbuckle. Morrison winds up in the tree of woe, allowing Punk to get in a number of shots before picking him up and hitting the Go 2 Sleep for the victory!
This is why I love SmackDown. Even when there’s not a whole lot of wrestling on the show, there are still some of the best wrestling matches in recent memory. Anyways, Hardy vs. The Hart Dynasty is still to come!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Melina makes her way out to the ring, and… and… I think… Could it possibly be? Oh my god, it is! It’s a one on one Divas match! Layla starts heading down to the ring, and…
Backstage, Kane is asking Ranjin why Khali is such a freak. Singh says that he’s not a freak, he’s his brother. Kane wants to know if he’s jealous of him because he’s been given gifts of which he was deprived. Kane says he’s running out of patience, so if Khali is going to save him, he’d better make it quick.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Hey wait! We’ve still got a Diva’s match!
Melina def. Layla
It’s a one on one Diva’s match! That never happens! And nobody really cares, because JR and Todd Grisham are talking about The Great Khali. Anyways, while I’m happy it’s not another 4, 6, 8, 12 Diva match, I really don’t care because we know who’s going to win this match – despite the fact that Layla is getting some offense in. More evidence that nobody cares about this match. JR and Grisham talk about Gail Kim being the number one contender for the Divas Championship on RAW, and the crowd is chanting “Let’s Go Oilers.” Layla looks to be improving in the ring, but she’s only postponing the inevitable. Melina hits her finisher, and the match is over.
Speaking of things nobody cares about, DX is reuniting, and Cryme Tyme is (are?) making their way to the ring.
Oh no. Somebody gave them a microphone. Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo. Yo. Yooooo. They babble like idiots for five minutes about Jericho and The Big Show. I don’t care. Then they do a modified version of that stupid catch phrase (yeah yeah).
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The Big Show makes his way to the ring, set to eat take on JTG.
Big Show vs. JTG
Chris Jericho joins in on commentary, meaning that this match might actually be watchable. That’s not to say I’m watching it – I’m eating some lasagna instead. Anyways, Show hits the chokeslam and then the camel clutch for the relatively easy victory.
As Show and Jericho go to leave, Shad dumps Big Show over the top rope. He challenges Show to get into the ring, but apparently that’s not going to happen because…
Ranjin Singh is tied upside down backstage when The Great Khali finally finds him. As Khali is getting him down, Kane attacks him with a lead pipe. Kane says he’s never been afraid of Khali, but Khali should be afraid of him.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
VIDEO: Triple H finds Shawn Michaels.
Rundown of the SummerFestSlam card.
Jeff Hardy is forced to wrestle tonight by order of Mr. McMahon, and the World Heavyweight Champion appears to be in pain as he makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The fans are cheering for their Canadian brethren, The Hart Dynasty, as they make their way to the ring.
The Hart Dynasty def. Jeff Hardy
This is one of those handicapped matches where the tag team has to tag each other in and out, which is good for Hardy, but is also essentially a moot point, considering the apparent physical condition of the Charismatic Enigma. The Hart Dynasty dominate this one, and pick up the win with a modified Hart Attack.
CM Punk comes to the ring following the match and assaults Hardy again until John Morrison makes the save. As Morrison is battling the Hart Dynasty, Punk cracked him across the back with a steel chair before resuming his assault on Jeff Hardy. He once again wraps the chair around Jeff’s throat, but Matt Hardy makes the save, attacking Punk from behind. Matt Hardy wails away on the number one contender until the Hart Dynasty breaks it up, but John Morrison helps dispose of them. Matt looks at his fallen brother and walks over to him slowly. Jeff backs into the corner, but Matt helps him to his feet. Jeff flashes the V1 sign to his brother, and as Teddy Long watches on a monitor backstage, he’s joined by Mr. McMahon. McMahon says the show was pretty exciting, but next week? Next week it will be CM Punk and The Hart Dynasty taking on John Morrison and The Hardyz. Mr. McMahon tells him he’s still on probation. Next week’s two main event teams glare up the ramp at one another as we fade to black.
My Thoughts: Matt Hardy, eh? I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens there. Another solid episode of SmackDown. I don’t really have a lot to say, however. I’ll be around in a few for a new edition of ThinkSoJoE’s thoughts.
Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans, and happy belated Canada Day to my friends to the north. It’s time to look back at the week that was in this wacky world of professional wrestling.
The Bash was last Sunday, and the WWE managed to surprise us again – not in a main event (both of which had terrible endings, btw), but in a tag team match of all things. Yes, “Team Ego” captured the Unified Tag Team Championships in a match they weren’t originally scheduled to participate in. And the internet dubbed them, “Rated Y2J.”
Also on Sunday, it was reported that RAW ring announcer Lillian Garcia has handed in her notice to WWE and will be leaving. Lillian was very capable as an announcer, and always pumped the crowd up with her pre-show singing of “America The Beautiful.” WWE is looking for a female announcer who can sing to replace Garcia, but here’s hoping for a promotion for Justin Roberts to what WWE considers the A show.
Former WWE Superstar Brian Christopher Lawler, also known as Grand Master Sexay, was in court on Monday on charges of public intoxication. He allegedly threatened the police officer who arrested him as well, saying he’d rip the officer’s head off. Surprisingly, he was only sentenced to rehab.
On RAW it was randomly announced that 15 Superstars were involved in a trade between the three brands. For what it’s worth, the draft was just over 2 months ago. If we’re randomly going to move guys around, can we just get rid of the whole draft thing?
In the very definition of “slow news week,” it was reported that The Miz posted on his official Twitter page (http://twitter.com/mikethemiz) that he stayed up until 5:30AM watching YouTube.
Would it surprise anybody if I said that Matt Hardy complained on MySpace about something somebody said about him on the internet? I didn’t think so. Apparently some reporter on a wrestling news site complained that Matt spilled the beans on the trade (Matt went to SmackDown), when in fact Matt posted it after it hit WWE.com.
In proof that nobody watches TNA except for Drowgoddess, the IWC is speculating that Taz will debut for TNA at Victory Road. Nevermind the fact that Joe has been acting like Taz and using some of his moves while taking advice from a mysterious “advisor.” Oh, and the fact that he told AJ Styles he can ask the “advisor” who he is at Victory Road.
Word going around is that some wrestlers were upset that WWE was allegedly only paying Vickie Guerrero $500 per appearance. Those wrestlers need to shut their damned mouths. I’d kill for $500 per appearance with WWE, especially since my take home pay right now is slightly over $200 a week.
The rumor mill is buzzing with reports that Candice Michelle was released from her WWE contract because of her weight. Look, Candice may not have been as thin as the majority of the other WWE Divas, but to be fair, I’ve seen Ethiopians who weren’t as skinny as some of the WWE Divas (coughKELLYKELLYcough).
Further proving he’s a black Brock Lesnar, Bobby Lashley says he’s patiently waiting for a call from UFC, where he wants to fight against the top fighters.
Everybody’s favorite right wing nutjob, Warrior W. Warrior posted a blog on his official website blasting Michael Jackson. CZW (there’s those initials again) wrestler “Halfbreed” Billy Gram attempted a rebuttal to Warrior’s post via the comments, but apparently Warrior’s web team deleted them.
ROH (hey, more guys we don’t get to talk about much around here) is on shaky ground right now, with all of their TV tapings being canceled due to HDNet having enough footage to last them the summer, and only a couple of shows booked this month. We like ROH, and we truly hope they survive this unfortunate setback.
I was going to ask if anybody had $5,000 I could borrow to bail Roddy Piper out of jail, but apparently somebody beat me to it. Hot Rod was arrested under suspicion of driving drunk.
Torrie Wilson’s feelings are hurt, because WWE barely mentioned her when she participated in the 25 Diva Battle Royal at WrestleMania. I’d be upset too if my ring announcement was replaced by a medley of Kid Rock songs.
Finally, some sad news coming out of Mexico, as mini Luchadors La Parkita and Espectrito II (the latter you’ll remember as Mini Mankind in the WWE) were found drugged to death in Mexico City. (The rest of this paragraph is from an article written by Ryan Clark) The police have released that Parkita & Espectriro checked into their hotels after a show on Sunday night and were approached by two prostitutes. The two women spiked the lucha stars drinks and after they passed out stole all of their possessions. The two overdosed on the drugs the prostitutes spiked their drinks with. Police say that this M.O. matches that of a prostitute ring called “The Filtracion” (The Leak) who proposition men and then spike their drinks and then rob the men, but the spiked drinks usually don’t kill (probably because of their size, it killed them). The police have retrieved finger prints from the scene and are confident they will find the two responsible.
That’s it for me tonight, guys. Enjoy your holiday, and join us tomorrow as JT brings you another edition of Random Randomness!
So on RAW earlier tonight we found out that Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, and Mark Henry have all joined RAW as part of a 15 Superstar trade. Here’s the complete list:
Coming to Monday Night RAW:
Jack Swagger (from ECW)
Evan Bourne (from ECW)
Mark Henry (from ECW)
Alicia Fox (from SmackDown)
Gail Kim (from SmackDown)
Coming to Friday Night SmackDown:
Matt Hardy (from RAW)
Finlay (from ECW)
The Hart Dynasty – Tyson Kidd, DH Smith, and Natalya (from ECW)
Coming to ECW:
Shelton Benjamin (from SmackDown)
Goldust (from RAW)
William Regal (from RAW)
Nicki & Brie Bella (from RAW)
Somebody please tell me – what the hell was the point of the draft? The Bellas went to RAW from SmackDown with the Draft, as did Matt Hardy. Alicia Fox just got over to SmackDown from ECW and now she’s on RAW. It’s ridiculous. Ah well, whatever. Be interesting to see if ECW is as good minus Swagger, Bourne, Henry, and the Hart Dynasty. Shelton Benjamin is the only major SmackDown loss – and I say this because they pretty much treat Gail Kim like she’s a jobber anyway. In fact, SmackDown will be even better with David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and Natalya (who was drafted to ECW from SmackDown earlier this year in the supplemental draft, incidentally).
I just don’t see the point of this – the draft was just two months ago!
Hey everybody! Today as I write this, I will also be remembering the King of Pop. Although many will remember the scandals and accusations, I will choose to remember his musical greatness. Alrighty…let’s get this thing crackin’! Who’s Bad?!
Match 1: The All-American American Jack Swagger against Evan Bourne
This match was awesome! It was a Thriller…and a match of the year candidate IMO. The ending saw Evan Bourne going for the Shooting Star Press, Swagger moved, Bourne landed on his feet, Swagger hit the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the win.
Match 2: Dolph Ziggler vs Jimmy Wang Yang
This match was between two guys’ careers who have gone in opposite directions…shall I say they are as different as Black and White?! Dolph Ziggler gets the win, obviously.
Triple Threat match for the United States Championship: Kofi Kingston vs MVP vs Matt Hardy
Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough. Matt Hardy sure didn’t stop during this match. Hardy gutted out this match with an injury that requires surgery. This was a good match. Kofi gets the pin on Hardy with his Trouble in Paradise and tells him to Beat It.
RIP Michael. Your songs will live forever with us. From Dangerous to You Are Not Alone, and the Jackson 5 days to the present, you have entertained us emensely. You are truly the King of Pop and your legendary performances will be missed. Long live the King!
Legend Killer: This is the one they call ‘Legend Killer’ alongside Drowgoddess for the Extreme Rules Post-PPV recap
Drowgoddess: This is the one they call Drowgoddess alongside the notorious Legend Killer. Let’s recap this thing!
Legend Killer: First of all, we had the United States Championship match, where Kofi Kingston retained the title against William Regal, Matt Hardy and MVP
Now, to be honest, I didnt see much of this match, due to technical reasons
Drowgoddess: Kofi Kingston was certainly a popular choice with the fans, and for the first t ime in a long time, there doesn’t seem to be any grudge between the previous and current champs.
The focus was just on two guys who want to be the champ.
Sometimes, that’s all you really need.
Legend Killer: Did you really see the need for William Regal and Matt Hardy to be involved in the match?
Personally, I believe that they were there just to make up numbers, as they seemed to be as involved in this match as they were in the build-up to the Vickie/Santina Hog Pen match.
Drowgoddess: Agreed. Since Kofi just won the title off of MVP, perhaps a rematch that quickly might not have seemed enough. Regal and MVP have certainly had their differences, as have HArdy and MVP.
The history between all the guys was there.
Legend Killer: Was Kofi the deserved winner?
Drowgoddess: I think so. MVP is definitely the guy who is at the breakout point. He could very possibly get in the main event picture soon. HE’s the complete package, and he has huge fan support.
That being said, Kofi is the guy to step up to the place where MVP was at.
Kofi has tremendous athleticism, more charisma than half the roster, and a connection with the fans.
He’s exactly the kind of guy who should be wearing that belt now.
Legend Killer: He reminds me a bit of Shelton Benjamin
but I’ve never heard Kofi on the mic
Drowgoddess: He’s more conversational and comfortable in the little bit of backstage talking that I’ve heard from him, but he hasn’t had much mic time. Maybe now he will, and we can see what he’s like.
Legend Killer: As long as he doesnt put people to sleep, or make their ears bleed, he should be fine.
Drowgoddess: I think he’ll be ok, then.
Legend Killer: Next on the card was the Intercontinental Championship, where Chris Jericho not onlt captured the title for a record ninth time, but he also claimed the mask of Mysterio
Drowgoddess: Jericho has captured luchedor masks in the past, like Juventud Guerrera’s.
I wasn’t crazy about this outcome, though I’m taking a “wait and see” attitude because Jericho is so amazing.
Legend Killer: How long will it be before Rey Mysterio wrestles without a mask on WWE TV?
I’m looking at it, to be as early as SummerSlam
Drowgoddess: I hope he doesn’t. Part of his massive appeal to kids and to the Hispanic market is that mask. He’s a superhero. Seeing his face will kill that, even though it has been done before in WCW.
I know that’s no realistic, considering that Jericho took the mask, but Rey has a different mask almost every night. It’s not like his only one was stolen.
Legend Killer: maybe he comes out on Smackdown! with a paper bag on his head
Drowgoddess: Followed by The BEautiful People?
Legend Killer: quite possibly, that would surely be a swerve nobody saw coming
Drowgoddess: It’s a license to print money!
I know that the IC title is supposed to be the #2 guy in the company, but Jericho winning it is almost a step back. A 9-time champ is great, and he should have a belt, but he’s been at th etop before. This almost seems like something he doesn’t really need.
Legend Killer: Or it shows that the WWE has nothing for Jericho at this present time
Drowgoddess: That’s my thought.
Unless he goes after Punk now.
Legend Killer: They know he should hold a Championship belt, but they dont want him to hold the World Championship, as it wouldnt fit in with their plans
Drowgoddess: Which would be the greatest thing in the history of things.
Legend Killer: A Punk/Jericho feud would be something worth watching
Drowgoddess: If both guys were allowed to go all-out on the promos.
It would be GOLD, I say!
You don’t script those two.
Legend Killer: there’s no need to
Drowgoddess: You and I know that. Does WWE know that?
Legend Killer: for those who havent seen Punk’s promos in ROH, should check them out
Drowgoddess: Absolutely! The man caused near-riots. He went from being the most beloved guy in the building to the most reviled in the space of five minutes once.
Legend Killer: They probably do, but because of the G rating they’re trying to get, it wont happen
Drowgoddess: A true thing of beauty.
Legend Killer: The interesting thing here is what they do with Jericho and Mysterio from here on
Drowgoddess: I have no idea. If they mean to unmask Rey for good, it could backfire completely.
Jericho can’t go after Punk while tormenting Rey. He CAN, but it won’t work as well.
Legend Killer: unless Rey goes after Punk as well
Drowgoddess: Although I believe that at one point, Jericho was feuding with most of the roster.
Rey and Punk have no history, not really.
Legend Killer: It will be somewhat interesting seeing what happens
CM Punk defeated Umaga in a Samoan Strap match
I can see that this match was there, to make people think that Punk wasnt going to cash in MiTB later on in the night.
Drowgoddess: I was surprised at that. Punk actually got Umaga on “Smackdown,” so I thought Umaga would destroy him at the ppv.
Being the huge, huge Punk fan thatI am, I wanted him to win, but I really didn’t see it happening.
The real question is what does Umaga do now.
Legend Killer: Probably what he’s been doing before this match. Nothing.
Now, match four … ah yes, the ECW Championship
Tommy Dreamer’s last night on his contrac, and he becomes the new ECW Champion
What does this mean for ECW?
Drowgoddess: Hopefully, a return to its roots, however slight. Tommy Dreamer is the last of the ECW originals. Yes, I understand very well that the only two things the current and original ECW have in common are him and those three letters.
However, Tommy’s been heelish lately, and a heel Tommy as the ECW champ could be fantastic.
Imagine him taking the rest of the roster to task for not “getting” what ECW is really about, and re-enacting some of his worst momenbts upon them.
Imagine him losing the title and becoming GM of ECW.
Legend Killer: I would like to see Jack Swagger get caned in the middle of the ring, like Dreamer was back in the day.
Drowgoddess: I think it could only be good, even if nothing really changes in terms of the current product.
Legend Killer: Would they need more ECW originals besides Dreamer, in order for that to work?
Drowgoddess: His face turn writes itself. Tommy schools him for months, gets him in the ring for the caning, and Swagger takes it with, “Thank you sir, may I have another?”
Not really. Most of them are dead, crippled, retired, or in other companies.
There aren’t many to choose from. Tommy was, and always has, been the heart and soul of ECW, so he’s really all you need.
If you wanted to bring in others, like RVD, for example, it would certainly help, but it isn’t critical.
Legend Killer: How about say, one-off appearances?
Drowgoddess: I’d personally love it if Evan Bourne’s recent comments about the new ECW blowing the old ECW out of the water in all ways were to set up a Dreamer/Bourne conflict.
One-off appearances would be great.
Particularly if they were handled in true randomness fashion.
Legend Killer: But, as you mentioned, the majority are either too old, or in different companies like TNA
Besides RVD, is there anyone else they could bring in
Drowgoddess: Yes, but some on the indies, who are free to make appearances anywhere, could do it.
For example, the way that Balls Mahoney and Spike Dudley turned up on TNA for a one-shot was perfect.
If WWE would be willing to use guys like that who may have appeared on TNA but don’t work for them, there could be several people left.
Too bad someone treated Jim Mitchell like trash, he’d be a good one.
Balls, Spike, Mitchell, RVD, and possibly Mikey Whipwreck might be good choices.
Mikey retired, but he could make an appearance or two.
Legend Killer: What about guys like Storm and Credible?
Sandman and Sabu?
Drowgoddess: Storm might do it, but I’m not sure he’d be interested. I don’t think they’d ask Credible.
Legend Killer: possibly even a guy like Steve Corino
Drowgoddess: I don’t think that Corino, Sandman, and Sabu are on the WWE call list.
I’d love to see as many of the ECW originals turn up as possible, but considering how the WWE looks at people like that, I don’t think full reunions are likely.
It’s a shame really
Legend Killer: Imagine Paul Heyman returning to ECW, with Dreamer as Champion
We both agree that Tommy Dreamer being Champion is nothing but good for ECW
Drowgoddess: Yes.
Legend Killer: I think we’ve talked enough about this match. Santina Marella pinned Vickie Guerrero in the Hog Pen match to reclaim the Miss Wrestlemania crown
Drowgoddess: The less said about this mess the better.
If the only purpose of it was to divorce Vickie and Edge, then so be it.
Legend Killer: Couldnt agree more.
Batista defeated Randy Orton to become the new WWE Champion
Good move of bad move?
Drowgoddess: Bad. Very, very bad.
Legend Killer: How so?
Legend Killer: The only logic I can see why this is good, is to have Batista feud with Triple H
Drowgoddess: Some say that he was a main eventer coming back from an injury, and where else could he go but a main event push?
While there is truth to that, Batista didn’t have to WIN tonight.
I personally don’t care for the guy. He doesn’t entertain me. That’s irrelevent. The thing is that Orton has been so hot lately, and having anyone take the belt off him right now just feels like a very bad idea.
The match itself just didn’t seem good enough to be a main event world title match where the title changed hands. The whole match was a letdown.
Legend Killer: Batista isnt my cup of tea. I refer to him as ‘PenisHead’ in my columns, and him winning the title has destroyed any momemtum Randy Orton has made since winning the title at Backlash
This match wasnt worthy of a WWE Championship match. Batista cant climb the cage, and the match went way too quick for my liking
Drowgoddess: Agreed on all points.
Orton shouldn’t have lost the title to anyone yet, certainly not to Batista.
Legend Killer: The next match, saw John Cena beat the Big Show in a Submission match
the only thing I need to say is, did anyone not see Cena winning this match?
Drowgoddess: Stevie Wonder and the ghost of Helen Keller saw Cena winning this match.
Note to WWE: If you must have a submissions match, put guys in it who have actual knowledge of and ability in submission wrestling.
Awful. Just awful. Knowing the outcome didn’t help.
Legend Killer: The only move I knew either of these two could do, was Cena’s STFU. That right there, showed me that this match shouldnt of been a Submission match.
Is there any type of match that could have worked? I think an I Quit match could’ve been good.
Drowgoddess: COnsidering the negative attitude that WWE, and Vince in particular, has shown in the past towards submission wrestling, it’s not surprising that they didn’t think this through.
An “I Quit” match might have worked, or a “Last Man Standing” match, as was brought up in the thread.
Legend Killer: Those matches at least, would’ve made things less predictable
Drowgoddess: And less dull.
Legend Killer: A match involving John Cena being less dull?
Drowgoddess: I know.
I speak of madness, sir.
Legend Killer: Speaking of madness. That could be the word describe the results of the Ladder match between Jeff Hardy and Edge
Drowgoddess: In a positive way!
Legend Killer: Jeff Hardy won the World Title, only for CM Punk, to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase, and end the night as new World Champion.
First off, let’s talk about the Ladder match itself. Was it a Main Event quality match>
Drowgoddess: It had main event quality spots. Overall, it wasn’t quite there. It was a very, very good match. I’m not insulting it or the guys involved in any way. The main event of any ppv, particularly when there is a stipulation like a ladder match, should be a Match of the Year candidate on basic principle.
While it blew away almost everything else on the show, it wasn’t quite that.
When you add ppv, main event, world title on theline, and ladder match, it should be epic.
However, I have to stress that nothing about thismatch was a letdown or in any way disappointing.
Legend Killer: This match definately had its high points. For example, Jeff Hardy’s Mid-Air Twist Of Fate, and both men destroying the Ladder on the otuside were great moments.
However, it all pales in comparison somewhat, to CM Punk.
Drowgoddess: I had heard nothing, absolutely nothing, about him possibly cashing the MITB shot tonight, so hearing his music play was a total shock.
Legend Killer: It made the, disappointment you could say, of Jeff Hardy winning the title, a lot brighter, seeing CM Punk cash in.
Drowgoddess: Jeff HArdy is extraordinarily popular. Most of the fans in attendance were thrilled that he won it. That he and Punk are both faces made me wonder, briefly, if Punk might be turning heel.
It opens up possibilities of an Edge/Punk feud, as Edge lost the title to Hardy, and Punk won it from HArdy, so Edge never lost the title to Punk.
Legend Killer: but it also opens up a new challenger
Drowgoddess: I truly did not think that they’d do the same thing twice. I thought for sure that Punk lose after cashing in his title shot. I was stunned in a good way when he won.
Legend Killer: Perhaps Punk will say he used Edge as inspiration
Drowgoddess: I could see that.
Legend Killer: Seeing as thats how Edge won the title using Money In The Bank
Drowgoddess: True, and Edge is constantly referred to as the”Ultimate Opportunist.”
Legend Killer: Could that work though, seeing as Punk didnt beat Edge for the title
Drowgoddess: He really didn’t have to. He could use Edge’s past actions as inspiration.
Legend Killer: Who do we see challenging Punk for the title?
and what does the happenings of this PPV, mean for Jeff Hardy’s much-documented Contract negotiations?
Drowgoddess: Edge will demand a rematch, for sure. Hardy may or may not stay with the company. Jericho could certainly go after him. Even Umaga could give it a shot.
Jeff Hardy’s contract negotiations are like Edge’s old entrance music. We know what they allow us to know. I personally think that nothing has been decided yet, and WWE got the best of both worlds.
If Hardy leaves, they don’t lose a champ and he goes out on his back.
If Hardy stays, he’s in a program for the top title after being taken advantage of in losing it.
They’ve covered themselves either way. I don’t think it tells us anything about Hardy’s current status, apart from the fact that nothing has been decided.
Legend Killer: Could the WWE be sending a message to Hardy, stating possibly that, ‘You would be World Champion if you re-sign’?
Drowgoddess: Definitely. The situation not only covers the WWE either way, it could be a very clear bribe, as it were.
If that’s what they are doing, I have no problem with it.
Legend Killer: When if Jeff Hardy’s contract up by the way?
Drowgoddess: I’m not sure. I thought that it was some time this month, but I could be wrong.
Legend Killer: It looks like being a very interesting next few months for SmackDown!
Drowgoddess: Indeed! It was already far and away the best show on WWE. I’m certainly going to be watching without fail.
Legend Killer: Arguments could be made that ECW is the better program
Drowgoddess: ECW is a very close second. It’s a smaller show, and talent seems to be less restricted or controlled, which is good. Some of the talent on ECW is awesome, and from an in-ring perspective, ECW may be the best program. In terms of an overall show, “Smackdown” takes the top spot.
Legend Killer: I agree, although with Dreamer as Champion, ECW could very well take the the spot
Drowgoddess: That it could. Over the next several months, both “Smackdown” and ECW could give wrestling fans something to feel proud about.
Legend Killer: What do you say for RAW’s future?
Drowgoddess: I have trouble watching RAW. Compared to the other two shows, it has felt boring, plodding, utterly ridiculous, or repetitive. With Batista as champ, I don’t know what that spells for Orton and the Legacy.
Having Orton chase the belt doesn’t work as well as him holding it.
Trips will turn up soon, and if he wants to be a heel, he can go after Batista again.
I don’t know what to say about RAW’s future, but it can only go up.
Legend Killer: Finally, what was your opinion on Extreme Rules as a whole?
Drowgoddess: Low. It was a weak show that did not live up to the name or the expectations. Kofi Kingston winning a title was great, but how “extreme” was that match, really?
The ladder match at the end and the aftermatch saved the show.
In general, they need to do better next time or scrap the idea altogether.
Legend Killer: I saw it as not worth my money. Sure, Punk coming out at the end was a surprise, and the Mysterio/Jericho and Edge/Hardy matches were good. But nothing else, really made me sit up and go Wow!
Drowgoddess: No, not at all. Lots of people are going to feel ripped off as far as this show is concerned.
As well they should.
Legend Killer: Although, those who are Batista/Cena/Punk fans will feel quite happy
Drowgoddess: This is what happens when you shove too many ppvs in a year out there.
True. I revel with the Punk fans.
Legend Killer: The next PPV is just three weeks away, the Bash. Will you be watching?
Drowgoddess: It’s too early to tell. Those of us not billionaires have to pick and choose our shows. I’ll be watching TNA’s “Slammiversary” for sure, and “The Bash” is the following Sunday. I’ll wait and see what the card is before committing to another ppv.
Legend Killer: Whereas I wont be watching any of them. Pay-Pre-Views just arent as good as they used to be.
Drowgoddess: Generally speaking, I have to agree with you, but there are good reasons for watching “Slammiversary” this year.
Again, if there weren’t so many ppvs, the quality would almost HAVE to go up.
Legend Killer: You would think so
Drowgoddess: A ppv should never feel like an episode of tv that you shelled out $30 or $40 to watch.
Legend Killer: exactly
and especially, when you can watch the high points of the PPV matches, on the next week’s weekly shows
Drowgoddess: Over and over and over again.
That really doesn’t make the paying customer feel very smart.
Legend Killer: No it doesnt, it’s a shame the WWE got rid of these streams
Drowgoddess: Indeed.
Legend Killer: Well, I’d say that about call it a night.
Drowgoddess: Agreed.
Legend Killer: Thank you for joining me for the BWF post-PPV recap
Drowgoddess: My pleasure, anytime.
Legend Killer: My thanks to ThinkSoJoe and Drowgoddess for helping with BoredWrestlingFan.com’s coverage of WWE Extreme Rules, this has been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, reminding you to tune in this Wednesday for my column, plus for all thr weekly wrestling coverage as well. So long from Extreme Rules!
This is BoredWrestlingFan.com’s review of WWE Extreme Rules. Proudly brought to you by ThinkSoJoe, Legend Killer and Drowgoddess, through the powers of MSN Messenger. The following contains some Coarse language and mentioning of John Cena. Reader Discrection is advised. Also, the following was viewed via a stream. Streams are illegal, and BWF does not recommend viewing WWE PPVs this way. However for us, it works really well.
Legend Killer: this could be good, if the streams decide to work lol
ThinkSoJoe: right. The one I’m watching is up and running the pre-show, so I should be good unless WWE snipes it at some point
Legend Killer: I have one thats died and another that just loves to cut out
ThinkSoJoe: well, that was weird. the pre-show just ended and my browser crashed. I got it back up though.
Legend Killer: somehow I see the WWE sniping this like 2 seconds in
Legend Killer: It contains scenes not suitable for children LOL
ThinkSoJoe: Well, I guess we’ll find out in about two minutes if you’re right. I love the European disclaimer at the start of the shows over there
ThinkSoJoe: Kofi Kingston is out first – breaking the age old wrestling tradition that says the champion comes out last
ThinkSoJoe: This match could do well as just Kingston vs. MVP in a rematch from Monday. Luckily Matt Hardy and William Regal are pretty good wrestlers in their own right and will probably add to the match quality rather than take away from it
ThinkSoJoe: Matt Hardy’s trying to steal a win, but Kingston is holding his own
ThinkSoJoe: Regal caught Kofi out of the Trouble in Paradise, tossed him into Hardy – Kofi got a two on the move
ThinkSoJoe: Trouble in Paradise on Regal – Kingston retains!
Legend Killer: that was predicted, you dont normally change a title twice in a week
ThinkSoJoe: I’m 1 for 1 so far tonight in my predictions from my column from yesterday
Legend Killer: I made my predictions in the forum at WWI
ThinkSoJoe: Josh Matthews is special. He gets to be on RAW and ECW for some reason
Legend Killer: maybe because he finished third in Tough Enough?
ThinkSoJoe: Big Show has his own bus. He’s planning on doing worse to Cena than what he did at Backlash.
ThinkSoJoe: shhh… don’t tell anybody – Rey lost his mask in WCW
Legend Killer: maybe Big Show thinks he’s DX?
Legend Killer: or the new Lex Luger?
Legend Killer: is it just me, or is Jericho getting as big as JBL?
ThinkSoJoe: he’s definitely put on a bit of weight
Legend Killer: it looks like he could eat the Filthy Animal
ThinkSoJoe: Even with his added girth, Jericho’s still a hell of a wrestler
Legend Killer: I cannot agree more
ThinkSoJoe: nice counter there by Jericho, catching Rey out of a low dropkick into a Walls of Jericho attempt
Legend Killer: oh no shit JR, the first time the IC Title has been defended at Extreme Rules
Legend Killer: probably because this is the first Extreme Rules PPV, do we really think we’re that stupid?
ThinkSoJoe: finally, we’re getting down to the no holds barred stuff. sort of. I don’t think the plastic top piece of the table is really going to make a difference.
ThinkSoJoe: I just saw WCW Rey Mysterio!
Legend Killer: without the mask?
Legend Killer: They dont want Mysterio to look 6
ThinkSoJoe: indeed, Jericho had it pulled up, Rey’s face was on camera.
ThinkSoJoe: interesting note is that Jericho mentions in his book “A Lion’s Tale” that the first time he met Mysterio, he thought he was a 12 year old kid.
Legend Killer: thats because he really is 12
ThinkSoJoe: Rey’s call got disconnected – nice backbreaker by Jericho
Legend Killer: they just say he’s older so he can drink
Legend Killer: Why do I see Rey winning?
ThinkSoJoe: Jericho once again hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere
Legend Killer:oh look, 619 got countered! HA!
ThinkSoJoe: Finally, some plunder – Jericho’s got a chair
Legend Killer: I’ve somewhat enjoyed this match
ThinkSoJoe: Rey Rey goes Raven with the drop toe hold onto the chair
ThinkSoJoe: WALLS OF JERICHO out of nowhere! But a nice counter by Mysterio with the chair!
Legend Killer: I was gonna say, that chair seems comviently placed doesnt it
ThinkSoJoe: Jericho got the mask! And the Intercontinental Championship for the 9th time!
Legend Killer: look at his small, small head
ThinkSoJoe: Jericho should start collecting trophies from his opponents like he did in WCW
ThinkSoJoe: in fact, bring back the WCW trophies, such as Juventud Guerrera’s mask and whatnot
Legend Killer: it wouldnt surprise me if they re-hashed old gimmicks for Jericho
ThinkSoJoe: they’re not really going to do the WWE Championship match this early, are they?
Legend Killer: is Batista/Randy next?
ThinkSoJoe: well, I did see Josh Matthews standing by with Batista, so maybe they’re just re-living what happened on Monday for the fun of it
ThinkSoJoe: Batista wants Orton to get ready for a long road of pain and suffering.
Legend Killer: or because they have to kill time
ThinkSoJoe: Samoan Strap match is next. Complete with a real live Samoan
ThinkSoJoe: According to JR, Umaga was not born on the Bayou. Thank you for pointing that out there, Jimmy.
Legend Killer: He’s been the king of the obvious tonight has Good Ol’ JR
ThinkSoJoe: shouldn’t the arms be crossed on CM Punk’s shirt? I mean, it’s a cool shirt and all, but when does he just put his arms like that?
ThinkSoJoe: notice they never show the part where Umaga actually challenged Punk to a strap match in plain English?
ThinkSoJoe: I think this is the first time the announcers have actually pointed out that you have to be dragging your opponent by the strap when you touch the turnbuckles in these kind of matches. I was wondering why the faster guys never just tried to run around the ring touching the turnbuckles as soon as the bell rings
ThinkSoJoe: a sign of the dumbing down of humanity – there’s actually a score graphic to illustrate if a corner has been touched, despite the fact that you have to touch all four uninterrupted. There’s only four corners, it’s not that hard to keep up, people.
Legend Killer: they are dumbiying this down for children remember
ThinkSoJoe: ah, the old PG rating
Legend Killer: people like us who have a fully developed brain can understand
ThinkSoJoe: but still, my four year old can count to four, I don’t know how hard it is to figure out
Legend Killer: but those who the WWE are targeting as their fanbase, they have to explain everything to them
ThinkSoJoe: I suppose those who found RAW at the Staples Center a couple weeks ago entertaining would probably need to have this concept visually explained to them
Legend Killer: they’re probably wondering what the red and green lights mean
Legend Killer: for us well minded people, JBL beat Eddie Guerrero in a similar match for the WWE Championship at the first WWE version of the Great American Bash
ThinkSoJoe: Umaga showcases his strength with that pull of the strap
ThinkSoJoe: GO TO SLEEP! and Punk falls conveniently back into the fourth corner and picks up the win!
ThinkSoJoe: now maybe Punk can go on to other things, like using the MiTB briefcase again
Legend Killer: I forgot he had that until it said at the start
ThinkSoJoe: well there it is. He’s confusing it for a hat
ThinkSoJoe: Gregory Helms standing by with Captain Charisma. WASSUPWITDAT?!?
ThinkSoJoe: Dreamer seems confident. Hey look, it’s Jack Thhhhhhwagger
Legend Killer: it’s Dusty Rhodes!!!… I mean Jack Swagger!
ThinkSoJoe: Ah Tony Chimel. I remember when you got to work more than one match at a PPV
ThinkSoJoe: Christian’s got a 33% chance of leaving with his championship – but it’s “hardcore rules,” which completely benefits Tommy Dreamer
ThinkSoJoe: and once again, the Champion is out first for the title match
Legend Killer: although Jericho came out first, so it-s 1 and 1 in that count
ThinkSoJoe: You are correct, sir
ThinkSoJoe: ECW Chants – I bet Vince can’t wait to get rid of Dreamer, which will probably kill that chant off in WWE once and for all
Legend Killer: the ECW chant will never die
Legend Killer: it’s like Matt Hardy
ThinkSoJoe: Tommy and Christian bringing the Extreme
ThinkSoJoe: Tommy needs to hit people with random things again, not just the usual crap
ThinkSoJoe: I remember in ECW he hit a guy with a Nintendo
ThinkSoJoe: Christian did the Tree of Woe dropkick – that’s gimmick infringement!
Legend Killer: Jack Swagger is gimmick infringement of Dusty Rhodes.
Legend Killer: is Dreamer and Christian carrying this match?
ThinkSoJoe: THhhhhwagger’s gotten a bit of offense in so far
ThinkSoJoe: but indeed it’s mostly Christian and Dreamer
Legend Killer: which doesnt surprise me
ThinkSoJoe: Tower of Doom by Christian, Dreamer crashes into the trash cans and Swagger to the mat
Legend Killer: that move is unique to WWE, yet TNA seem to do it every PPV
ThinkSoJoe: I used to see it in NSPW before I ever saw it on TV
ThinkSoJoe: In fact, I think Eric Young was the first one I saw do the move
ThinkSoJoe: DREAMER WINS! DREAMER WINS!
ThinkSoJoe: Did Striker just say Dreamer’s real name on the show?
Legend Killer: I missed it
ThinkSoJoe: Dreamer picked it up with a crutch shot and DDT to Thhhwagger
Legend Killer: I just caught the replay, notice how Christian didnt get pinned
ThinkSoJoe: yup
Legend Killer: we are 1 hour and 17 minutes into the PPV, and already four matches are won and done
ThinkSoJoe: and two titles have changed hands
and I’m currently two for four
Legend Killer: I’m three for four
ThinkSoJoe: Chavo just got popped in the snout by Aunt Vickie
Legend Killer: the winner will join Henry Godwinn as the only winners of a Hog Pen match
ThinkSoJoe: Jerry Lawler is standing by a bunch of pigs. And I don’t mean the Jerry Lawler type of pig, I mean like real pigs
did he say “without further doo doo?” Is John Cena scripting Jerry Lawler’s promos?
Legend Killer: I thought for a second it was Billy and Chuck
ThinkSoJoe: You asked about three minute warning earlier, well, you know what happened to Rico’s theme music.
Legend Killer: I bet we can reviews this match without needing to watch it
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Legend Killer: oh look, Lieutenant Loco is taking the place of Vickie
ThinkSoJoe: I wonder if Corporal Cajun will make a triumphant return to help out tonight – they are in Louisiana
Legend Killer: Doesnt the Cajun do cartoons for a wrestling magazine?
ThinkSoJoe: As a matter of fact, he does for PWI
Legend Killer: I thought so
ThinkSoJoe: Vickie’s been slopped.
Legend Killer: Cole’s impersonation of JR. Slop! Slop! Slop!
ThinkSoJoe: Vickie did the J.O.B.
Legend Killer: Goldust has turretts again
ThinkSoJoe: Goldust needs expense reports signed – and still has turrets
ThinkSoJoe: no, Chavo, I’m laughing at you
ThinkSoJoe: EDGE!
Legend Killer: they’re not even married are they?
ThinkSoJoe: Edge calling for the divorce. First Jeff Hardy, then the marriage
Not a good night to be the GM of RAW
Legend Killer: here comes the Cage!!
ThinkSoJoe: Speaking of RAW…
ThinkSoJoe: be interesting to see which superstar is out first
…and it’s the Champ
Legend Killer: 1 and 2 for champs out first
ThinkSoJoe: so that’s three out of four title matches tonight where the Champion has come out first – tradition be damned, it’s Extreme!
Legend Killer: but Kofi’s the only one to retain
ThinkSoJoe: So far. This and the World Heavyweight Championship to go for title matches
ThinkSoJoe: John Cena vs. The Big Show is still to come as well
Legend Killer: wheres Triple H?
ThinkSoJoe: “injured”
Legend Killer: isnt it about time he returns?
ThinkSoJoe: he was kicked in the head at Backlash, which was in April, so given the timetable for a return from the Randy Orton Mega Final – whatever G-Bag calls it is about 4 months, so since we’re talking about The Game, probably soon
Legend Killer: he is the Super-Being Triple H after all
Drowgoddess: I’m in!
Like Flynn!
ThinkSoJoe: LK and I were just discussing the timetable for a Triple H return from his “injury”
DrowGoddess: A Randy Orton Super Mega Kick of Final Ultimate Death
I see.
Legend Killer: it only took Vince like a month to come back didnt it?
ThinkSoJoe: He got kicked in the head before the Royal Rumble in January and came back after WrestleMania in April, so three months
(LK EDIT: Vince McMahon was back the RAW before Wrestlemania.)
Drowgoddess: But he was, of course, superhuman.
ThinkSoJoe: well, of course. He’s the boss.
Drowgoddess: How much more superhuman than Vince is Trips supposed to be?
ThinkSoJoe: He’s not – Vince came back from torn quads faster than Triple H did
Drowgoddess: Didn’t Vince tear two and Trips just one?
ThinkSoJoe: indeed
Drowgoddess: Ok, let me rephrase. Trips is Vince’s representative on Earth, and therefore cannot compete with his power, but is the next closest thing.
ThinkSoJoe: that sounds about right.
Drowgoddess: Who thinks the Batista chants are “helped?”
Of course, he may actually be that popular.
What do I know of such things?
ThinkSoJoe: Batista recently lost a cage match to Jericho – and Monday on RAW defeated Cody Rhodes in a cage by pinfall instead of climbing out of the cage. Then he didn’t climb in to help Ric Flair. Perhaps Batista’s been rendered incapable of physically climbing the cage?
Drowgoddess: Between nailing Divas like his name was Bob Vila and “medicating,” would you be shocked that he can’t?
ThinkSoJoe: As far as Batista’s popularity, I’ve been at WWE shows with Batista chants, but the one I attended recently wasn’t one of them
Drowgoddess: I remember when Randy ORton had reversals for everything.
Drowgoddess: My friend Arthur was playing an e-fed character called “The Pinfall Wizard” Michael merlin (from the mean streets of suburban Delaware), and he thought that Orton was the exact wrestling style that his character would have.
ThinkSoJoe: Chris Jericho is the one who does that now. Hell, he reversed a 619 into stealing Mysterio’s mask and rolling him up for a pin earlier in the night.
ThinkSoJoe: Holy shit – Batista won?
Drowgoddess: BULLSHIT!!!
Legend Killer: Oh FUCK no
ThinkSoJoe: WHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?
As if RAW didn’t suck bad enough as it was
Drowgoddess: What the fuck was that???
Legend Killer: he must’ve ‘polished off’ Triple H
ThinkSoJoe: look – he’s climbing the ropes but not even bothering to climb up the cage to show off the belt
Legend Killer: thats because he cant
Drowgoddess: What a shit match for a world title change, regardless of the outcome. And the outcome is proof that there is no god.
ThinkSoJoe: I absolutely have to agree with you on that one, Drow
ThinkSoJoe: Hopefully this means Edge is going over
ThinkSoJoe: Hell, they have to have The Big Show go over Cena too to make up for this shit
Legend Killer: If Edge doesnt win, I’m rioting
Drowgoddess: A one-man Aussie riot. I’d pay to see that. Moreso than this show.
Legend Killer: mand I’m starting with PenisMan himself, Batista
Drowgoddess: It’s at times like this that I feel TNA gets a disproportionate share of shit from people.
ThinkSoJoe:You can’t lose a step if you never had it, Cena!
ThinkSoJoe: Which means I’m probably stuck watching John Cena and The Big Show pretend they know how to properly apply submission holds
Legend Killer: oh wait, I’m back
Drowgoddess: And better than ever…
ThinkSoJoe: got a knack for making things better?
Legend Killer: I’m surprised their not showing footage from 2004 and WM
Legend Killer: face facts, cause your opinion dont matter
ThinkSoJoe: my official prediction for this match on BWF yesterday was that I’m going to fall asleep.
Legend Killer: my predcition is Cena, because Cena secretly wears the Yellow and Red
ThinkSoJoe: The only thing that could save this match is the ghost of he-who-shall-remain-nameless coming back and making them both tap in a total of 5 seconds. Or killing them
ThinkSoJoe: I did wind up saying Cena would win
Legend Killer: theres no pillows or kettle cords, so theres no chance of that happening
Drowgoddess: I’d rather see Benoit kill them both than watch this match.
ThinkSoJoe: The set for this PPV is a giant X. That’s almost as good of a set as the inVasion set with it’s giant V
ThinkSoJoe: wtf. There wasn’t a PPV in March, but since WrestleMania, there’s been a WWE PPV every three weeks.
Drowgoddess: Ooo! Maybe Bryan Danielson is stopping by to see Regal, and he hits the ring to show those bitches what real submission wrestling is all about!
Drowgoddess: It’s what Jesus would do.
You know you want it.
ThinkSoJoe: I’ve never wanted to see Kurt Angle make a run-in any more than I do right now.
Drowgoddess: Ok, yeah, but I like my idea better.
Drowgoddess: Is it a submission if Big SHow sits on your chest?
ThinkSoJoe: I guess you get what you pay for – or in this case, don’t pay for
Drowgoddess: Ah, back on.
Not that that’s a good thing.
ThinkSoJoe: *disclaimer: BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s staff do not endorse streaming PPV feeds*
Legend Killer: *disclaimer* However, the staff member who writes columns on Wednesdays endorses not paying for a WWE Pay Per View*
Drowgoddess: *disclaimer* The Executive Shareholder endorses ppvs not being mind-numbingly shit-tacular, regardless of company.
ThinkSoJoe: I figure if I say we don’t endores streaming the PPVs then it’s less damaging if WWE reads this review and decides “hey, these guys are telling people that it’s possible to watch our completely unnecessary and shitty PPVs for free on the internet”
Drowgoddess: Good point.
ThinkSoJoe: especially since I’d be the one getting the letter from their attorney
Drowgoddess: That’s why you’re the boss.
Drowgoddess: But hey, we’d be proving Vince’s assertion that fans watch the show together, instead of each person buying it separately.
🙂
ThinkSoJoe: and if WWE legal are reading this, Hi, Mr. McDevitt!
Drowgoddess: I’m glad Big Show is enjoying something about this. Someone should, it sure as hell isn’t us.
Jerry! Wassup, man!
ThinkSoJoe: of course, if anybody from WWE were actually reading this, they’d know that real fans hate John Cena and Batista
Legend Killer: if WWE were watching, they’d have shut BWF down due to my links in my columns
Drowgoddess: The man has a point.
ThinkSoJoe: this is true
Legend Killer: how can this match go longer than anything else so far?
Drowgoddess: Your links are patently offensive.
ThinkSoJoe: This match isn’t over yet?
Drowgoddess: Slow, lumbering plodding takes time.
Legend Killer: my links also dont lead to what I hint them to
ThinkSoJoe: the longer this crap goes, the shorter the ladder match that everybody actually wants to watch will be
Drowgoddess: Therein lies the beauty of them.
ThinkSoJoe: I hate leaving comments about the links in your articles, LK, for the sheer fact that I don’t want to spoil them for anybody who reads the comments first for some reason
Drowgoddess: You know, at “Tag Wars 2008,” ROH had a tag match between AOTF (Black and Jacobs) and the MCMG. It really ended up being a submissions match between Alex Shelley’s Border City Stretch and Jimmy Jacobs’s End Times. THAT was a fantastic submissions match. I wish I were watching that match right now.
Drowgoddess: Sorry, I waxed nostalgic for actual submission wrestling done by people who, you know, can actually do it.
In case WWE reads this.
😛
ThinkSoJoe: every time I see a submission match between two guys who suck at submission holds, I really miss Kurt Angle and you-know-who. Their ultimate submission match was just pure awesome
ThinkSoJoe: hooray for using the attitude adjustment in a submission match.
ThinkSoJoe: goodnight, Cena
Drowgoddess: I don’t mean to sound rude, because you ARE the man, but why do you call him you-know-who? This isn’t “Harry Potter,” and I don’t see the point in not saying his name when everyone knows who he was.
ThinkSoJoe: “if Cena can’t answer the count, this one’s over”
when did this become a last man standing match?
Drowgoddess: You’re totally right about the match, though. A thing of beauty, it was.
Drowgoddess: Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stepping on your right to call it as you see it, I just honestly want to know from someone who isn’t twelve or retarded. Or both.
Drowgoddess: BULLSHIT!!!!
Drowgoddess: Sure, we could all see it coming, but I cry BULLSHIT!!!
ThinkSoJoe: bullshit or not, it’s thankfully over.
Drowgoddess: Indeed.
My soul hurts.
ThinkSoJoe: for the record – no problem with mentioning Benoit by name, just habit after two years.
Drowgoddess: Ok.
The best announcers ever could not make this match work.
The only thing extreme about that match was my desire to gouge out my own eyes with a plastic fork.
ThinkSoJoe: PPVs have to end by – I think – 10:57, so with intro video and entrances, we’re looking at no more than 30 minutes for this one
Drowgoddess: They can make it work. They’re both good enough.
Legend Killer: I thought they had to end 10 minutes before
ThinkSoJoe: it’s either 10:53 or 10:57
I’m not entirely positive
and that’s here in the States, so I don’t know if it’s earlier on that side of the pond
Drowgoddess: Either way, WWE isn’t know for filling the entire time.
ThinkSoJoe: JR mentions Bob Vila just about an hour after Drowgoddess mentions him in our conversation here. Is JR spying on us?
Legend Killer: Thats not good
Drowgoddess: But does JR have a webcam?
ThinkSoJoe: Once again, the Champion makes his way out first
Drowgoddess: If we can’t be personally identified, nothing can be proven.
Anyone could have sat here and typed.
Legend Killer: I just realized, I have to somehow edit this (LK EDIT: The edit is what you’re reading right now :D)
Drowgoddess: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Legend Killer: and turn it into something readable
ThinkSoJoe: yup. You sure do
Drowgoddess: SOrry, that was rude of me.
Drink up, then!
Legend Killer: and the Vampiro fans go wild
Drowgoddess: Are there any left?
ThinkSoJoe: I’m still a fan of Vampiro
Legend Killer: I thought they were gonna call him the Charismatic Enigma
ThinkSoJoe: They’ve been calling him the unique enigma. I’m sure if you search for Charismatic Enigma you’ll eventually find the DVD that TNA put out on him
Drowgoddess: I liked Vampiro back in the day. He’s honestly been off my radar. I watch him every now and then on the luche libre show on Galavision.
Legend Killer: I believe they’re still selling that DVD on shoptna.com
Drowgoddess: Unique enigma is even dumber than the original name.
Legend Killer: its better than the ‘Rainbow Warrior’
Drowgoddess: Granted.
ThinkSoJoe: http://shoptna.com/enigma-the-best-of-jeff-hardy.aspx
Drowgoddess: Yup.
Legend Killer: these two are the best in ladder matches *cough*Shawn Michaels*cough*
Drowgoddess: I’ll give Michaels credit where it’s due, but even things that the great and powerful Michaels has done can be improved upon.
Legend Killer: I’m finding it funny that Todd Grisham is trying to tell us that this is the first Ladder match Jeff Hardy and Edge have competed in
ThinkSoJoe: these guys get the credit though because they took the standard that Shawn Michaels set and, as Drow said, improved on it
Drowgoddess: Perhaps he means against each other, one on one. Or perhaps he’s retarded.
ThinkSoJoe: I’m sure he meant it’s the first singles ladder match between the two
Drowgoddess: YEs. What he said.
🙂
Legend Killer: I agree. Todd Grisham is retarded
Legend Killer: Edge meet Ladder. Ladder meet Edge
ThinkSoJoe: and now, Mr. Ladder, let me introduce you to Jeff Hardy
Drowgoddess: Now that we all know each other….
Legend Killer: Those ladders will not give, yet that ladder is bent up all out of shape
Drowgoddess: Shhh!
ThinkSoJoe: that ladder must’ve been in the clearance aisle at the home depot
it was a factory defect
Drowgoddess: This show is a factory defect.
Todd Grisham is a factory defect.
Legend Killer: Factory defect? I thought all ladders were meant to have a guy like Hardy fall on them
WWE Extreme Rules is a Factory Defect
ThinkSoJoe: how much do you think the annual ladder budget is for WWE?
Drowgoddess: What’s the entirity of the Gross National Product of Sweden?
Legend Killer: thats probably why Jeff Hardy wont re-sign, they’re taking the Ladders out of his paycheck
Drowgoddess: LOL
ThinkSoJoe: best submission hold I’ve seen all night – and there was a submission match on the card!
Drowgoddess: Two of the best wrestlers all night.
Legend Killer: I still dont know how a Submission match is ‘Extreme’
It’s about as extreme as a ‘Judy Bagwell on a Pole’ match
Drowgoddess: It would have been if Angle and Danielson and Low Ki were doing it.
Or Samoa Joe from 2004-06.
ThinkSoJoe: the fatal four way “stipulation” was more extreme than that submission match
Legend Killer: or these two circa 2001
reviewing Extreme Rules the way we have, is more extreme than a Submission match
Drowgoddess: Playing around with my dogs is more extreme than that submission match.
Legend Killer: getting up of a morning is more extreme than a Submission match
Drowgoddess: A working ladder. As opposed to the white-collar variety.
ThinkSoJoe: I’m getting ready for work right now – and THAT’S more extreme than a submission match
Legend Killer: why doesn’t Jeff just knock the title down with the Ladder?
Drowgoddess: Look at the size of that ladder! Could Todd Grisham be much more homoerotic?
ThinkSoJoe: he does know he’s nowhere near the belt, right?
Legend Killer: I wanted to see Jeff’s legs stretch like a Stretch Armstrong
ThinkSoJoe: oh shit, that was a slick move by Hardy. Kid’s got more guts than brains, but that was a smart move right there
Drowgoddess: Edge’s move was likewise smart.
ThinkSoJoe: Hardy, for those reading the conversation instead of watching the match, tipped a very tall ladder in the corner forward and kind of fell on the belt. Edge sprang up and pulled him down off the title
Legend Killer: Why wouldnt someone else not in the match, think of climbing up the ladder whilst these two are outside, and grab the title?
ThinkSoJoe: because it wouldn’t count. Unless you’re CM Punk.
Legend Killer: Why wouldnt it count? You could claim to be World Champion
much like if you did it at Wrestlemania in MiTB
Drowgoddess: You could claim to be Emperor of Rome, and if you aren’t booked in the match, it won’t count.
ThinkSoJoe: this isn’t TNA where you can just steal something and then defend it at will
Drowgoddess: Oh, snap!
Legend Killer: or WCW where you can find a title in the rubbish and claim it as your own
Drowgoddess: But that’s just the American Way!
ThinkSoJoe: well, to be fair, WWE did something similar when Mideon found the European Championship in Shane’s bag
Drowgoddess: But that was kind of funny.
Kind of.
Legend Killer: It could have been Naked Mideon?
Legend Killer: I wonder do they realize that their not gonna reach the title from there?
ThinkSoJoe: shades of WrestleMania 23
Legend Killer: will those Ladders give now JR?
Drowgoddess: Jeebus, that looked like it hurt a LOT.
Drowgoddess: Can they talk about impact on WWE programming?
ThinkSoJoe: after that fall through a ladder, they’re back in the ring and trying to climb for the title? Somebody should do an article on the art of selling.
ThinkSoJoe: Oh wait
Legend Killer: is that a ref bump in a Ladder match?
ThinkSoJoe: Twist of Fate out of a midair spear!
Drowgoddess: That’s a great idea, someone should.
Wow!!!
Legend Killer: That was impressive
Legend Killer: We ready for the post PPV show Drow?
Drowgoddess: Huh?
Legend Killer: may as well do a post-PPV show considering we’re here
Drowgoddess: Ok.
ThinkSoJoe: Hardy just tied Edge up in the ladder…. NEW CHAMPION!
Legend Killer: Oh FUCK no
ThinkSoJoe: Well, my predictions all sucked for tonight
Drowgoddess: Your predictions weren’t the only thing.
Legend Killer: I enjoyed Mysterio and Jericho for some reason
ThinkSoJoe: this show certainly isn’t going to be the breeding ground for any MOTY conversations, but I have to agree that Mysterio and Jericho wasn’t terrible
ThinkSoJoe: Show’s not over yet folks…
Legend Killer: CM Punk!!
ThinkSoJoe: IT’S CM PUNK!!!
Drowgoddess: So we have Kofi as IC champ, Batista as one world champ and Jeff HArdy as the other.
ThinkSoJoe: LET’S GO PUNK!!
Legend Killer: this is what happens when you dont sign new deals Jeff
ThinkSoJoe: GTS! NEW CHAMPION – WHAT?!
ThinkSoJoe: Hardy Kicked Out!
ThinkSoJoe: Hardy gets two!
ThinkSoJoe: this PPV just got exciting
Legend Killer: things just got exciting all of a sudden
ThinkSoJoe: GTS #2
Drowgoddess: I want Punk to win, but I don’t see it.
ThinkSoJoe: 1, 2, 3 NEW CHAMPION!!
Drowgoddess: YES!!!!!!!!
Sweet mother of god, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legend Killer: Two NEW Champions in the space of three minutes
ThinkSoJoe: Finally, something good on this PPV
Drowgoddess: CM Punk ruined nothing, JR!
ThinkSoJoe: CM Punk is your New World’s Heavyweight Champion!
Legend Killer: at least they know how to end things with a BANG!
ThinkSoJoe: OMG what an end to a pretty weak show
ThinkSoJoe: Hardy winning would’ve been enough, really, but Punk taking it makes it even better
Legend Killer: it kinda makes it worthwhile in a sense
Drowgoddess: Too bad Punk isn’t supposed to turn heel. As popular as HArdy is, it would be a g reat time.
ThinkSoJoe: I’ve got to get out of here guys
Drowgoddess: Awww.
Bye, then, Joe!
ThinkSoJoe: Later
Legend Killer: Joe leaves for work, now stay tuned for the post-PPV show
Well after a long week if doing what it is I do during the week, I like nothing more than to tell you all my views on things. I wont keep you waiting any longer so here we go: (more…)
Happy Mother’s to all the mother’s out there! Welcome again to another edition of JT’s Random Randomness. Well without further ado, lets go: (more…)
I wasn’t home and missed the first half of SmackDown, so here are the results courtesy of tvfanatic.com:
WWE SmackDown was taped this week from London. In the main event, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase took on Shane McMahon and Batista. Here’s a rundown of events and matches from the event…
– Edge comes (to the) ring and cuts promo on Sunday’s Backlash. Lots of heat when he mentions Vickie Guerrero. She sucks.
– Matt Hardy and Kane defeat Jeff Hardy and CM Punk; Solid match. Matt gets the rollup on Jeff for the victory.
– The Big Show defeats The Undertaker; The Big Show delivers a knockout blow to the back of Undertaker’s head. The referee stops the match because Undertaker can’t continue. But The Undertaker gets up and punches Big Show out of the ring.
– Maryse defeats Gail Kim, retains the WWE Divas Championship; very boring match.
– MVP defeats Chavo Guerrero; quick match that was followed by a challenge to MVP by Dolph Ziggler for a match next week.
– Shane McMahon and Batista defeat Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase; Shane gets the pin but also accidentally knocks Batista off the ropes during the match. Uh-oh.