Well, tonight’s Raw has been built around a return. There are rumors that Chris Jericho has been spotted at the Memphis airport. So have Undertaker and Michelle McCool. Rumors are flying around about Brock Lesnar. I think everybody has been spotted except Chyna. So tonight begins Raw.
We start if off with a video package. And then John Cena starts off Raw. Any buzz I had for Raw was killed the moment Cena’s music hit. My daughter was still up and the minute she saw John Cena, she reached for the remote. I cannot make this up. So John Cena cut an ok promo on how fans can chant whatever they want. He’s going to keep on being John Cena. Then Kane does the same s*** he always does and we get pyro.
Daniel Bryan is introduced and the crowd doesn’t even come close to reacting for him. This was a pretty decent match. We got to watch Cody show off his skills as a mat technician. Bryan did get some chants. But would he have without Cody? It was a really short good match. Bryan won and then went over and celebrated with the crowd. The only thing is that it was kind of really excessive.
Johnny Ace recapped all the stuff with Miz. We get Miz and Sheamus. And then he called Miz a lame duck. Then they showed Miz walking away throwing a temper tantrum. And then R-Truth mocked a duck. Congratulations, WWE. You just killed R-Truth.
They showed recaps of all the Wade Barrett stuff. And he was interrupted by Santino Marella of all people. Sure enough, Wade killed him. The best part was the Speed references. R-Truth is now stalking the Miz.
Miz came out full of fire. And then Sheamus beat the sternum off of Miz. Miz tried running away. Then R-Truth was out in the crowd. R-Truth’s voices are now Little Jimmies. And then he beat up Miz with the Water Bottle of Doom. I feel really bad for Miz having to sell that. Then R-Truth found a kid and had him say something. I liked the segment. I just want to see more from what R-Truth is given to say.
Dolph Ziggler cuts a nice short promo.
Zack Ryder is trying to flirt with Eve Torres. Then Jack Swagger tries to talk trash. Ryder sounded sooooooo stupid. Then Johnny Ace makes a 6-man tag. So now Punk isn’t even going to be the main event? WWE, listen to what I say very closely. F*** you.
I really liked the feel of the Punk/Ziggler match. It felt exactly like a main event should be. Too bad it wasn’t one. It was a good match with lots of near-falls. Johnny Ace interfered and there was a countout. Ziggler won and then ran away with the belt. He didn’t win the belt.
The Bellas came out looking really smoking hot. We then got Kelly and Eve vs. Bellas. The Bellas won. It was pretty decent for usual divas matches.
Punk delivered a promo where he was going to beat Johnny Ace “like a bitch.” Ooh, they said the word “bitch.” Let me know when Punk drops a pipebomb.
Then they revealed the return of Chris Jericho. It was a pretty awesome moment. He looked genuinely happy and enthusiastic to be out there. It was the kind of reaction Hogan thinks he gets. He played with the crowd for a little bit and then went to the back.
The main event was such a non-event. At least Cena and Ryder had the advantage. The only good part was Kane attacking Ryder afterwards and then laying out Cena and Ryder some more. Kane was about to suck Ryder into the abyss when Cena pulled him out at the end. Cheesy, but it IS a TVPG product.
This was a pretty decent Raw. I’m close to calling it good, but we’re not quite there. I had things I liked: Ziggler’s promo, Bryan-Rhodes and Miz. There were some things I didn’t like: Cena in the main event, the Ziggler-Punk finish (not because of the countout but because Ziggler acted like he had won the belt) and opening it with a video package.
There were some nice questions to be asked here and all of them are WTF’s revolving around Jericho. And that is as it should be. Now we have a reason to come back.
Can Edge even the odds before his title defense against Dolph Ziggler on Sunday? Why was Michael Tarver skulking around backstage (and again on RAW)? And, most importantly, who was responsible for the attack on Teddy Long?
Vickie kicks off the show tonight, informing us that Teddy Long will not be here. Therefore, she is the acting General Manager. There’s a motive right there for attacking Teddy Long – with him out of the picture, Vickie has complete authority and the ability to potentially screw Edge over at the Rumble and cost him his title. Vickie is soon interrupted by Randy Orton who, we are told, is on the blue brand to participate in a tag match in tonight’s main event. Randy makes some promises about his tag match against Vickie’s boyfriend, and also vows to take back his WWE championship from The Miz this Sunday. Then he insults Vickie’s hair. Okay… ‘creepy, intimidating Orton’ is always great; ‘personal insults Orton’? Not so much. Dolph comes out to the rescue. He demands Randy shows Vickie and himself respect. Seriously, Ziggler has come on leaps and bounds on the mic. Dude has ‘it’. Not that ‘it’ helps him in this scenario, because he’s soon eating canvas as Orton strikes with an RKO.
LayCool vs. Kelly Kelly/Kaitlyn: It’s incredibly lame, but I love it when Striker sings along to LayCool’s entrance music. The No. 1 contenders for the Divas title are taken out on the ramp by Kelly and Kaitlyn – wait, Kaitlyn has a match?! I swear I can hear some members of the crowd booing this sneak attack on LayCool. This match lasts about a minute – that’s not me being hyperbolic; it seriously lasts around 60 seconds. Layla distracts Kaitlyn, and Michelle McCool takes advantage with a big boot. And people say the Divas don’t get enough screen time! Your winners: LayCool
Drew McIntyre vs. JTG: Kelly Kelly has remained at ringside for this bout; Michael Cole rightly calls her a hypocrite for attacking LayCool earlier on, despite going flippin’ mental (my words, not Cole’s) at Drew for essentially the same thing last week with Trent Baretta. Right on, Cole! This match goes on a little longer than it should, I reckon. As is typical of Drew’s matches lately, JTG is resilient and even manages a few offensive flurries (I need to stop saying that phrase; seem to use it every week) but, in the end, McIntyre prevails. I like this finish – JTG goes for a backslide, which Drew rolls through and delivers a devastating Futureshock DDT. These matches against lesser opponents have been noticeably longer than they would have been, say, 6 months ago. Is this deliberate on WWE’s part to give the impression that Drew is working hard, in order to give the fans a reason to respect or get behind him? He’s as vicious as ever, but he seems to appreciate getting pinfalls lately. This is gonna be a slow-burning face turn, for sure. Credit to Kelly Kelly – she’s performing her role in this storyline very well. I totally didn’t mean that to sound so patronising… Your winner: Drew McIntyre
Todd ‘Don’t Look Him In The Eyes’ Grisham is backstage with Dashing Cody Rhodes, who has his back to the camera. Last week, Rey’s 619 – complete with an exposed knee brace – broke Cody’s nose. Cody keeps his back to the camera as he delivers his promo; a whining affair about deviated septums and extensive reconstruction surgeries. Basically, it’s great. Rhodes sounds on the verge of tears as he informs Todd that doctors have told him he is not to compete in the Royal Rumble match. Jeez, Rey. What a jerk. This is the best promo I’ve ever seen from Cody. Good job, Not-So-Dashing One!
We cut to Jack Korpela (Jack Korpela?! We want Scott Stanford, damn it!) who is with Edge. Edge talks about his tag match tonight, where he will reunite with his former Rated RKO partner. After he’s said his piece, we see Alberto Del Rio walking backstage. He bumps into Michael Tarver and introduces himself. Tarver smiles and walks away. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH TARVER?! I’m dying to know, but I want them to drag this out for as long as possible. Providing the outcome is exciting, of course.
Alberto Del Rio’s Royal Rumble Exhibition: Del Rio announces that backstage there are 39 fighters from around the globe who are ready to fight him. He’ll start with one, and another will enter every 30 seconds. First up is Seth Allen. WOO! SETH ALLEN! Seth Allen has a sweet beard. Unfortunately, his in-ring prowess isn’t quite as sweet – he lasts about 25 seconds before Del Rio throws him over the ropes. Next up is Mike Stevens, whose beard is even sweeter than Seth Allen’s. These guys look like default create-a-wrestlers in the SmackDown! vs. RAW games, it’s amazing. The clock ticks down for the 3rd competitor… and flames erupt. Uh-oh. Here comes Kane. Damn it, I was genuinely looking forward to 37 more jobbers with generic names! What about Zac Stone? Rick Daniels? Chuck Awesomesauce? (Actually, Chuck Awesomesauce is a real wrestler. I kid you not. He is my hero, purely for having that name.) Kane grabs Del Rio by the throat and goes to push him over the ropes, but for some bizarre reason, Kofi Kingston appears. He grabs Kane’s legs and pushes both men over the ropes. Umm. Okay. Del Rio and Kane slowly get back in the ring to seek revenge. I was hoping the 39 jobbers would run to the rescue (they could start a new megafaction) but, unfortunately, Rey Mysterio appears instead. The goodies stare down the baddies, and Vickie Guerrero comes out to announce they will compete in a tag match… right now!
Alberto Del Rio/Kane vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio: Most of this match is standard, nondescript fare, so let’s skip to the end. Alberto’s mad at Kane, because Kane wasn’t there to be tagged in. Uhh, he was kinda busy lying on the floor after Kofi knocked him off, jerk. Kane doesn’t like being pushed around, so he hits Del Rio with a big boot and takes off. Mysterio hits a 619 (watch you don’t break his nose, Rey! Yeah, I said it! Jerk.) and Kofi follows it up with a Trouble In Paradise. Striker reiterates what he said earlier about his belief that a ‘new face’ will win the Royal Rumble this Sunday. Nice sentiment, but it’s never gonna be Kofi Kingston. Your winners: Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio
Big Show vs. Heath Slater: Big Show’s in the ring to talk about the emergence of Corre and their attack on the giant 2 weeks ago. Needless to say, he’s pretty angry. The Corre soon appear, replete with terrible t-shirts. Heath Slater slides into the ring, and I guess this is a match-up! Every time Big Show runs the ropes, I wince, expecting them to snap and send him tumbling to the floor. Show soon plants Slater with a Chokeslam, and it’s all over. The other Corre members enter the ring. Show swats Barrett and Gabriel away, but Jackson takes him down with a clothesline. A bunch of good guys run from the back to chase off The Corre. Your winner: Big Show
The Miz/Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge/Randy Orton: Midway through this match, Ziggler hits Edge with an X-Factor facebuster. Is Ziggler working his way through DX members’ finishers? Actually, I joke, but I’m pretty sure he’s used a superkick a few times in the past! This match reaches fever pitch as Dolph fails to connect with the Zigzag. Edge hits the Spear, and it’s all over. Or not, because Vickie Guerrero grabs a microphone and starts shrieking. She announces that, until further notice, the Spear is illegal. Wow, this is very reminiscent of Vickie protecting Edge by banning Undertaker’s gogoplata submission hold, eh? How time flies. Vickie announces that if Edge hits Dolph Ziggler with a Spear at the Royal Rumble, not only will he be DQ’d… he will lose his World Championship! Edge snaps, and hits Ziggler with a trifecta of, yes, Spears. Better get it out of your system tonight, buddy.
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I started out this report focusing on the Teddy Long mystery, but not a lot was said about all that… Oh well. Seeing as we’re oh so very close to the Rumble, here’s my take on what will (but probably won’t) happen.
Rich Flynn’s Royal Rumble Predictions (Which Probably Won’t Happen)!:
Beth Phoenix made history last year by being only the second female entrant in Rumble history – and the first to eliminate a Superstar. There’s a good chance she could appear again.
And what about Awesome Kong? I have a strong feeling she will make an appearance – either during the Diva’s title match or the Rumble itself. It’s a long shot, but what better a way to debut a monster Diva?
Drew McIntyre will have an impressive Rumble. He’ll make a very deep run, and I’m putting him in the final four.
I fully expect Triple H to return during the Rumble. Admittedly, I haven’t heard what his recent plans are regarding his in-ring career, but giving Sheamus the King of the Ring is too perfect a set-up for a ‘Mania match between the two. Sheamus will dominate early on, but Triple H will appear and throw himself at Sheamus. Both men will be eliminated, but all Triple H will care about is destroying Sheamus on the outside.
When a friend pushed me for a Rumble winner prediction, I could only make one cautious choice – John Morrison, but with the caveat that his ‘Mania match would be at least a Triple Threat affair so the WWE don’t have to rely on his star power to sell the match. My friend, however, picked CM Punk, and it is a very good choice. I could see the following happen: Punk wins the Rumble. Miz retains against Orton. At the Elimination Chamber, Morrison eliminates Miz early on, resulting in a guaranteed new champion. John Cena wins the belt, which sets up a WWE championship match against Punk at WrestleMania. This also establishes a nice little grudge match between Morrison and Miz, either midcard or between the two big title bouts. One of the headline matches is going to have to be a biggy and, with SmackDown!’s lack of headline Superstars, I think we’ll be seeing it on RAW’s side. So, long story short, I’m going with CM Punk (but secretly I’m rooting for a big surprise such as Morrison).
Either way, this year’s winner needs to be a ‘new face,’ as Striker said. With their youth movement and the dire need to create new stars, the WWE needs to use the Rumble as a tool for pushing someone who has never before won. The increase to 40 men has given the Royal Rumble a shot in the arm, so hopefully this excitement will result in an equally thrilling result – not another victory for Randy Orton, John Cena or the like.
And, most importantly of all, the Soaring Eagle will be an entrant. Mark my words, kids.
With the “Road To Wrestlemania” now upon us and the wheels to that event fully in motion, there’s an awful lot to talk about this time of year in the world of professional wrestling. It’s no secret that our friends at WWE put a lot of faith in the annual extravaganza known as Wrestlemania and thus expect surrounding events such as the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber Pay-Per-View’s to do great business themselves. With all the furore following the start of each calendar year, other wrestling promotions try their best to effectively cash-in on what’s happening in the largest company this brand of entertainment has to offer and this year shall surely be no different. With that said, on with the topics!
Online Hype Surrounding Michelle McCool
There’s been a lot of talk over the past few years regarding one Michelle McCool and her position within World Wrestling Entertainment. Her off-screen and very much real-life relationship with one of the biggest stars in the company, The Undertaker, has led many to suggest she is only still hired due to the backstage clout of her hubby.
Regardless of the strings he can pull, this writer feels anyone who bluntly ignores the woman’s talents and puts all her success down to her husbands ability to pull some strings with the office, is extremely short-sighted. Indeed, an ex-writer for the Smackdown brand, John Piermarini, has recently surfaced on a large number of wrestling-related new-sites decrying these suggestions.
Piermarini states that McCool can talk (which is true) and can wrestle (which, depending on your opinions about what makes a good wrestler, could also be seen as true). In my humble opinion, the lady in question is easily one of the most accomplished females in wrestling today. She easily rivals much-heralded women as Lita, Chyna and Sable inside the ring and actually shows more personality than all of the above combined. Like it or not, her duo with Layla, “Laycool”, is over with the fans. This is evidenced by the mass amount of boos which accompany their entrance and matches.
Sure, Mrs. Undertaker isn’t the best female performer ever to burst onto the scene in North American wrestling, but she isn’t that far away from being one of the best, certainly in the modern-era. There’s a joke in here somewhere about being “Flawless”..
Sid Vicious Arrested
Various online news sources are reporting the arrest of former WWF/WWE, WCW and ECW talent Sid Eudy this past weekend on drug charges. Mr. Eudy was apparently pulled over for driving without a seatbelt before the law officer found a bag containing large quantities of marijuana in his car. The man has since been released on a $1000 bond. Rumours that he threatened the policeman/woman with a Powerbomb whilst muttering something about being “the master and the ruler of the world” are unsubstantiated.
Having seen the mugshot of Sid, which is readily available online right now looking to search mugshots of him, it’s very clear that he’s getting on in years. I know, I know, that’s kinda obvious. What I’m really getting at here is that we’ve all heard rumours regarding his possible return to the spotlight with WWE over the past number of years. Sid himself has even been quoted to be interested and feels he’s ready to make a comeback to the promotion which gave him so much in the early and mid-1990’s.
Being a big fan of the man formerly known as “Sycho Sid”, “Sid Vicious”, “Sid Justice” and plainly, “Sid” – I’ve always loved the idea that he may make his way back into a wrestling ring at some point in the near future. The big guy was always one of my most favoured characters in a pre-Attitude era WWE and many countless hours were spent imitating his fiendishly creepy laugh which permeated his promos.
One of the better big-men wrestlers, Sid was surprisingly nimble for such a huge figure. Never the most technical of workers, he nonetheless had a presence which stuck with the fans and still keeps him fresh in so many people’s minds, even so many years after his last appearances on the grand stage for WCW.
Will we ever see him back in WWE? With the group’s new decree that they won’t be hiring anyone over the age of 30, this surely rules the monster out?
Triple H Beginning To “Wind Down” In-Ring Career?
This is another huge topic which is sparking debate amongst fans all over the internet and one which will definitely polarise opinion. The master of the Pedigree manoeuvre has long had a love/hate relationship with those of us who happen to use a keyboard and watch pro wrestling. He doesn’t really think much of the IWC (“Internet Wrestling Community”) and clearly feels there’s too much negativity doing the rounds on wrestling message boards across the land.
I’ve written about it in great length many, many times and will not bore you with the details but, I actually agree with HHH on this one. There is far too much whining that goes on about the overall product, with people nit-picking until they can nit-pick no more. Indeed, it often times feels as though these folks don’t actually enjoy what they watch on a weekly basis, which begs the question as to why they bother to tune in.
In any event, there will still be a large number of fans who will be a tad disappointed that the man is supposedly contemplating taking a backseat as it pertains to being a main-event regular. “The Game” has been one of the linchpins holding together the top-line scene in WWE for over a decade now and has participated in so many fantastic matches down throughout the years, even before he was competing for the top belts.
It’ll be extremely intriguing to watch and see if the rumours are true that Triple H is being groomed as the eventual true successor to Vince McMahon and is effectively then given full control over World Wrestling Entertainment, from an in-ring point of view. Perhaps his wife, and Vince’s daughter, Stephanie will oversee the business and marketing aspects of the company leaving Mr. Helmsley to fully focus on boosting the ratings and crowds for live events, TV and PPV.
One thing is for sure, there are few other people employed by the promotion who have the drive, commitment and shrewdness to take over the steering wheel.
If you’d like to email me any of your thoughts, please feel very very free. I enjoy hearing from all of you, even if your opinions and thoughts don’t exactly match my own! jamiekennedy@live.com! TAKE IT HOME!
This should have been posted earlier, but there’s still time to be relevant. Every year at around this time, wrestling websites ask readers to post lists of what they, as wrestling fans, would ask Wrestling Santa Claus for as gifts. Bored Wrestling Fan is no different, and I now ask you to post away! Any and all companies, everything goes. Make your “wish lists” as long as you like. Here’s mine, in no particular order: (more…)
Hey, Everybody! It’s time for WWE Superstars again.
Match 1: Tiffany vs Co-Women’s Champion Layla (non-title match)
Somehow Tiffany is the number one contender. This is your standard Diva’s match. Michelle McCool interferes behind the referees back. Layla wins with the Lay-Out.
Match 2: Vance Archer and Kurt Hawkins vs The Dudebusters
Wasn’t Kurt Hawkins a Dudebuster in FCW? He gets the win over his former team with the flying elbow off the top rope. After the match, Archer and Hawkins tell the Hart Dynasty to pay attention and they will find them. I guess they are next in line for a tag title shot now.
Main Event: Zack Ryder vs Evan Bourne
Evan Bourne is the most exciting guy to watch in the WWE right now. He’s just spectacular. Bourne gets the win with the Shooting Star Press.
Match 1: Primo Colon and Jillian vs Yoshi Tatsu and Gail Kim (Bella Twins are Special Guest Referees)
Gail Kim rolls up Jillian with a very quick count by one of the Bella’s.
Match 2: Zack Ryder vs Goldust
Zack Ryder doesn’t wear the half pants tonight, but instead just goes with the trunks. Ryder gets the win with the Ruff Ryder.
Masterlock Challenge: The Dudebusters
First, Masters locked it on Croft, then he invited Baretta to take the challenge. As Masters was about to lock it in on Baretta, Croft jumped in and The Dudebusters inflicted a little double team punishment on him.
Main Event: LayCool vs Tiffany and Kelly Kelly
Really??? This is the main event? Absolutely pathetic. Layla gets the pin when Michelle McCool kicked Kelly Kelly in the face with the referee distracted by Tiffany.
Happy 4th of July to all of my brothers and sisters in the States, hope you all celebrate it safely and responsibly. Canada Day was also this week too, so Happy Canada Day to all of my Canada Brothers and Sisters too, hope you all enjoyed your day. Since it’s a holiday today and I have many Hot Dogs and Hamburgers to consume as well as fireworks to blow up, lets get this show on the road:
So tonight we get eight new rookies. And nine new pros.
Of course last night all eight former rookies came out and took apart John Cena, the Straight Edge Society and the announcing crew as well as the ringside area.
While it’s pretty popular, overall I’m against it. I have no interest in them as a group, instead of as individuals. (more…)
