Well. We can pretty much assume that CM Punk will not be on RAW this week. Will his absence leave a noticeable mark on the show? I guess there’s only one way to find out. Go watch it, you lazy bastards. What? It’s my job to write about this show and tell you these things so you don’t have to watch it yourselves? Alright fine. Let’s go.
I watch this show so you don’t have to suffer through it. That’s because I think you’re awesome. Unless you’re Richard Sherman. How much shit are you talking with an injured leg? Guess you’re limping to DisneyWorld, huh bitch?
Last night, the seeds were planted for a unification of the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships. Jorge wasn’t happy about it, but it left me intrigued. What will happen tonight on Monday Night RAW? Go watch and find out. Let me know what happens. Oh wait, that’s my job. Shit. Ok. Forget G, I’m with Xavier Woods – It’s Morphin’ Time!
This is the part of the review where I’m supposed to explain how my reviews work. But you guys already know how they work. I watch a TV show, then I tell you what happened, so that I can save you three hours of your life. Which means, this text is only here to keep up appearances before the fold. So stop wasting your time reading this and click the “Click to continue reading ‘WWE RAW 11/25/13 – Spears for everybody!'” link. You know you want to…
This week on BWF Radio, the Randy Orton robot problem strikes home as G becomes “one of them.” Meanwhile, Rytman loses his mind in the Mixlr comments, revealing an obsession with lemurs. Meanwhile, ThinkSoJoE, JT, and Jorge talk wrestling. Joe reveals what you didn’t see at Old School RAW on Monday, JT tells us what we didn’t see (because we didn’t watch) on ROH this weekend, we give you the WWE Main Event results, and a SmackDown review so hilarious Joe almost cried from laughing so hard. We pay our respects to William “Paul Bearer” Moody, and read a story from a woman whose life was changed by his generosity. We also reveal the whereabouts of Zack Ryder, debate whether the @VinceMcMahon twitter account is real, and ponder what his WWE Legends contract will mean for Sean Waltman. What does the future hold for Rey Mysterio? Why does Billy Graham really want out of the WWE Hall of Fame? How much has DDP raised thusfar for Scott Hall’s medical bills? We answer all of this here on BWF Radio!
Greetings, fellow Bored Wrestling Fans! ThinkSoJoE, JT, G, and Jorge bring you another great episode of BWF Radio! This week, we rant about The Rock! All of the wrestling television from the week is discussed, as well as Superstar Billy Graham’s reaction to CM Punk’s RAW promo. Zack Ryder’s YouTube show is history, is his career next? WHERE’S TRENT? Unemployed. We talk about the new TNA PPV structure, and propose six PPVs that WWE should keep on their calendar if they decide to follow in the trend of dropping events. Joe and Jorge vehemently defend ECW’s production values in comparison to ROH’s, and we send our congratulations to Mick Foley for being the first inductee into the 2013 class of the WWE Hall of Fame!
We open with a recap of last week’s main event, Punk vs. Vince. The match ends with Punk running into the stands and Vince demanding that Punk choose either Cena or Ryback to face at Hell in the Cell, or Vince will choose for him.
The show begins with the Show – Big Show to be exact. He complains about the “joke” debate he had with Sheamus, demands we watch the recap of him blocking a Brogue Kick, (we do,) and challenges Daniel Bryan to face him in a match, to avenge his 45 second world title reign.
Backstage, R-Truth tells “Little Jimmy” to pay close attention to the monitor. Bryan refuses to go out. RAW GM AJ Lee orders him to go, Kane-his tag team partner-laughs at the thought of having Bryan’s back. Bryan shouts “NO!” Santino and Ryder shout “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO!” R-Truth shouts “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO,” to Little Jimmy, everyone shouts “YES!” Bryan walks to the ring, and rips up a young fan’s paper “goat face” mask. BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – Competitive match that goes more than 45 seconds. Bryan hits multiple high-spots however this ends with a choke-slam and a three-count for the Big Show. After the match, Kane comes out to gloat – at first, but when Show teases a WMD, Kane jumps in and protects Bryan.
After a break, we have Paul Heyman in the ring with a covered easel. He introduces our WWE champion for the past 330 days, C.M. Punk. Punk refers to J.R. as “good ol’ bucket head,” and makes it clear he doesn’t care who it is… “Disrespect me, I put you down.” – C.M. Punk
Punk goes on to reference last week’s show where “typical Vince,” tried to make the show all about himself (author’s note: as opposed to?) and how Punk slapped him in the face, and how two Superstars – Cena and Ryback – had to save him. He then shows us the Hell in the Cell poster, depicting him as the Devil. Punk claims to be an angel compared to any of us, and while he feels angels and devils “don’t exist,” he is willing to play “make believe” with us “for five minutes,” and refers to Cena and Ryback as “the devil you know,” (Cena) vs. “The devil you don’t know” (Ryback.) Punk teases the reveal of his choice by going over to the easel, then decides we need to learn to be patient, and decides he needs more time. This brings out Vince McMahon to tell him he “blew it,” and by the end of the night, there will be a contract signing where Vince will choose Punk’s challenger. “Your fate, at Hell in the Cell, is now in my hands, respect that”- Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
Now you’re probably wondering “isn’t this the same thing Punk was going to do? Make us wait for the big reveal?” You’re missing the point.
This way, we’re waiting for VINCE to make the announcement.
After all, why would we want to focus on the WWE champion all night?
We go to a promo for the Susan G. Komen foundation and breast cancer awareness month, with Layla telling us about losing her mom to breast cancer. If this is true (and I am NOT calling Layla a liar, I’m speaking in terms of work/shoot,) then I have a whole new respect for Layla.
Back from break, we have a recap of Randy Orton surprising Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown last Friday. ALBERTO DEL RIO VS BRODUS CLAY – Del Rio’s aggressiveness completely negates any advantage Clay’s size/strength might give him. Despite some hard shots, Del Rio’s agility and attack on the left arm gets him the victory w/the arm breaker.
Backstage: Punk is NOT happy with this turn of events. He sends Heyman to challenge Vince to a rematch from last week. Heyman goes, reluctantly.
Santino Morella and Zack Ryder head to the ring as we go to break. PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS CO-BRO (SANTINO/RYDER) – Match is in progress as we come back from break. The match breaks down into a quick spot-fest with Titus O’Neal hitting a D-Lo Brown style power-bomb/spin-buster and getting the tree-count for the PTP.
After the match, Santino gets a beat down from Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre, now in matching outfits, and officially known as “3MB.”
After a break, we get a recap of Vince’s ultimatum to Punk.
Vicki Guerro asks us to “EXCUSE” her, so she can introduce Dolph Ziggler. Dolph cuts a promo on Ryback and demands a shot at Punk. David Otunga comes out, cuts a promo on Ziggler and Vicki, and demands a shot at punk. AJ Lee comes out, and puts them in a handicap match against Ryback. RYBACK VS SHO-TUNGA (DOLPH ZIGGLER/DAVID OTUNGA) – Ziggler bails on his partner, and Ryback shell-shocks Otunga for the win.
What was supposed to happen?
Backstage; Vince is on the phone when he’s interrupted by “a plague of locusts.” Paul Heyman – plague in question – proposes a rematch with Punk where, if Punk “should happen” to win, he gets to pick his opponent for HitC. Vince counter-offers with the idea of HEYMAN facing Vince in the ring for Punk’s option to choose. Heyman starts whining and Vince shouts him out of the office, because that wouldn’t have been interesting.
Elsewhere backstage; Matt Stryker requests an apology from team “Hell No,” for their attack on him last Friday on Smackdown, he makes the mistake of using the word “crazy,” and AJ puts him in a match w/Kane.
After the break, we see video of Cena being named honorary captain of the NY Jets football team. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt anyone. U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cesaro is getting the reverse booking of Ryback, getting hard fought wins while making his opponents look good. Gabriel gets in a lot of offense, including a sic 450 off the top, but it ends with Cesaro hitting the “Neutralizer” for the three-count.
After the break, we see Matt Stryker in the ring, and Kane makes his entrance w/pyro. WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE VS MATT STRYKER – Stryker tries to talk his way out of this match, Kane agrees to “hug it out” w/him. Kan doesn’t let go however, and after a vicious shaking, Stryker takes a choke-slam. Kane decides to “interview” an unconscious Stryker and loudly declares “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”
We get a recap of the lousy Larry King segment from last week and a promo for “MizTV” after the break.
We come back to the MizTV segment. I’ll cut to the chase. Miz insults Kofi, Kofi challenges him to a match, Miz says Kofi will never be more than his catch phrase, Kofi jumps Miz and trashes the set. According to the announce team, AJ has confirmed the match.
Back from break, we get a recap of the Big Show catching Sheamus by the foot and tossing him out of the ring last week.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS VS WADE BARRETT – Hard fought brawl with the pace slowly building while the tide turns back and forth. After the first few minutes, Big Show comes out to ringside as we go to commercial.
Back from the break, Sheamus and Barrett trade heavy shots and take turns tossing each other around, until Show pulls down the top rope, and Sheamus goes over and out to the floor. Sheamus gets the DQ, and gets in a Brogue kick to Barrett before sending Show out the ring w/a clothesline.
After a recap of the Vince/Punk face off, we get Vince in the back with Cena. Vince asks Cena about what his doctor said, Cena says it doesn’t matter, and tells Vince it’s up to him.
Divas Champion Eve comes out to the ring as we go to break. DIVAS CHAMPION EVE TORRES VS LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP) – We get a quick recap of how Eve got the title shot at Night Of Champions after Kaitlyn (who Layla was supposed to face) was injured by a “mysterious attacker.” Match is better than you’d expect with the exception of a few unconvincing kicks by Layla, and ends with the ref counting three on Layla despite her foot being on the ropes. Eve knocks it off after the three-count but before the ref sees it.
We go to a spot with Stephanie McMahon speaking about the WWE’s partnership with NothingButNets.com, a charity for underprivileged youth.
Backstage; Kane is laughing at Bryan’s misfortune after facing Big Show. Bryan dares Kane to face Big Show next week.
Rhodes Scholars come out for their tag match, after the break.
We come back with 3MB rushing the stage at a nearby bar. They act like they’re going to play but security throws them out.
RHODES SCHOLARS (CODY RHODES/DAMIEN SANDOW) VS PRIMO/EPICO W/ROSA – We are told the tag team tournament finals will be next week, when Cody and Damien face Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara. This is a solid but standard tag with Rhodes and Sandow getting the win.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE MIZ VS KOFI KINGSTON – Quick hard fought match ends with Miz taking a SCARY “trouble in paradise” kick to the face. Kofi gets a three-count and Miz gets an open head wound.
We get an announcement of the Rolling Stones PPV concert sponsored by WWE.
The show ends with the HitC contract signing. Punk goes off on Vince but Cena interrupts him, and actually hypes the crow into a “FEED ME MORE” chant. The show ends with Vince giving Ryback the shot and Ryback giving Punk the shell-shock.
Yes, it’s the “Go Home” show for Money in the Bank this Sunday on PPV. And the whole damn product revolves around one thing… not the laptop, nor the Smackdown GM getting his Christmas Wish granted with the ability to speak (even though he was over in December…. shh! We are supposed to forget that!).
Yes, one character seems to have taken over in a illogical way. No, not Double A (that’s the “good” product). We’re one year out from the “Summer of Punk II” shtick. Wow. This is not your Ten Year Old’s WWE. RIght Mr. Cena?
Oh yeah, remember that Zach Ryder guy? No? Me neither, but it appears he is the GM for Smackdown. Turns out the computer is more popular in the WWE’s opinion. YAWN. Oh well, here’s the magical picture part of the review and the “hopping” reference:
We open with a video package focusing on the Big Show, and recapping his heel turn and subsequent rampage on RAW and SMACKDOWN, where he put down Brodus Clay, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth, Zack Ryder and Santino.
Our opening segment is Michael Cole interviewing John Cena. Cole blames Cena for shows rampage and intros him.
Cena comes in, seeming quite upbeat in his Green t-shirt and cap. Cole tries to shame Cena into going for cheap jokes instead of supporting Big Show. John argues that beating and getting rid of Johnny Ace would’ve gotten Show his job back. Cole says it’s not all about Cena and Show went with the “sure thing,” signing w/Johnny. Cena says Show wanted “a wallet the side of his ego,” and took the easy way out, and turned his back on everybody. Cole says Cena isn’t “interested” anymore and calls Cena “over-rated.” He hopes Show, for the sake of all of us who had to sit through his matches, puts Cena out of “our collective misery,” and takes him out.
Cue Johnny Ace. Johnny comes out and offers Cena the chance to pick an opponent for tonight. Show isn’t here, and Johnny is retired and off limits. Cena picks Cole, and Johnny rolls out while Cole desperately pleads for Johnny to come back.
Later tonight: Punk vs. Kane, there must be a winner.
DID YOU KNOW? Wrestlemania 28 has outsold the Super Bowl on DVD.
We’re back, and Cole is begging Johnny to reconsider. Johnny says there’s a rumor going around about up-coming evaluations and he’s all about people power, and the people want to see Cena vs. Cole. John sends him back to work, and one more thing…
“Don’t call me Johnny,” – Johnny Laurenitis Laurinitis Ace.
We get another look at World heavyweight champion Sheamus taking David Otunga out with the Brogue Kick on last week’s Smackdown.
Vicki Guerrero comes out with an “EXCUSE ME,” to introduce the man who is “better than each and every one,” of us “at everything” we do, Dolph Ziggler. Sheamus is out next while Cole and King hype the match between Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio at No Way Out.
The bell rings. Ziggler ducks under a charging Sheamus and lays in with kicks and punches. Sheamus fires back with forearm smashes. Ziggler whipped into the corner, Ziggler hits an elbow and takes Sheamus down with a kick to the shin. Ziggler shoots off the ropes, Sheamus catches him and hoists him up on his shoulders, Ziggler slides down behind him and tries for a sunset flip, but Sheamus pulls him up by the head back on his shoulders, and scores a running Samoan Drop for a two count.
Ziggler in the ropes, as Sheamus gouges at his face. Sheamus shoots off the ropes, Ziggler pulls down the top rope, Sheamus over and out to the floor. Sheamus pulls Ziggler out by his heels, pulls him up by the hair, throws him over his shoulder and heads for the corner post. Ziggler slips down behind him and tries to shove him into the post, but Sheamus blocks it and elbows Ziggler back.
Sheamus tries to whip Ziggler into the stairs, but Ziggler meets them feet first and climbs up and over without breaking his momentum. Vicki distracts Sheamus allowing Dolph to climb back in and hit a sliding dropkick. Sheamus is down, and Ziggler plays to the crowd.
We’re back and Ziggler has Sheamus in a chin lock/arm bar combo. Sheamus gets to his feet and hits two head buts but shoos off the ropes into a knee by Ziggler. Ziggler takes Sheamus down in a cross face. We’re shown how, during the commercial, Sheamus missed a charge and went shoulder first into the corner. Ziggler hits an arm breaker and has had control since. Ziggler has the chin lock arm bar combo again but Sheamus gets up and head buts Ziggler backwards. Ziggler goes into the corner with a shoulder-block and Sheamus hits two axe-handle forearms and a power slam for a two count. Ziggler ducks a clothes-line and hits a kick to the mid-section, shin, and jumps on Sheamus with the DDT. Both men down, Ziggler gets a two-count. Ziggler climbs the corner, Sheamus gets two hits, but Ziggler hits a flurry of kicks, punches, and elbows. Ziggler takes Sheamus by the hair and hits a Fame-Asser off the top rope for a two count.
Both men stagger to their feet. Ziggler jumps on Sheamus with a sleeper attempt, but Sheamus tosses him off. Ziggler jumps into the “white noise” by Sheamus. Sheamus hits the “Brogue Kick” on Ziggler and gets a three count.
Sheamus walks out a winner but gets ambushed by Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. Sheamus goes down, head-first into the set and Del Rio slaps on the cross-arm-breaker, with Sheamus’ shoulder against the edge of the stage. Officials check him over as we go to commercial.
We come back with Johnny Ace demanding coffee from a crew member. David Otunga enters to tell Jonny about an announcement on WWE.com. Vince McMahon will be on RAW next week to evaluate Johnny’s job performance. John acts confident.
We fade in to Cole and Jerry. Cole says this explains why Johnny has him wrestling Cena. He just wants to impress Mr. McMahon.
Sin Cara, rocking the new Red/Silver look, makes his entrance. Next out is Hunico w/Camacho. This will be one on one.
Hunico scores a low kick and clubs Sin Cara w/forearms. Sin Cara whipped in, flips into the ropes, flips over Hunico, takes Hunico by the hand, hits a kick, climbs the ropes, flips 360 degrees over Hunico, arm drags him out to the floor, and hits the hurraconrana on the outside.
Sin Cara tosses Hunico back in, jumps over the top rope, over Hunico with a sunset flip attempt. Hunico rolls out and hits a kick to the head for a one count.
Hunico stomps Sin Cara, hooks his arms, takes him up in double under hook suplex and drops him back first on the knee for a two count.
Chin lock by Hunico. Hunico hoists Sin Cara up on his shoulders and spins, Cara holds on to the arm and scores an arm drag take-down.
Hunico charges into Cara’s feet, misses a second charge. Cara charges in, Hunico backdrops him to the outside apron, Cara holds the top rope and scores a double kick, followed by a hurriconrana and a drop kick.
Sin Cara charges, Hunico tries a hip toss but Cara ricochets off the ropes and gets an inverted arm drag, followed by a springing back elbow.
Sin Cara hits a dropkick on Camacho, runs into a slam attempt by Hunico, lands feet first and gets a flying head-scissors/face plant combo for the three-count.
Ryback is up next, and we go to commercial with a brief video recap of his wins.
Promo for RAW 1000 next week, Cenas favorite RAW memory is getting picked for team RAW in the draft.
We’re back in the ring with the team of Rosenberg and Stansky, from Downers Grove, Illinois. They introduce themselves w/a poem.
“He may be undefeated, but perhaps he’s never heard, of the two men that will defeat him –Stan Stansky and Arthur Rosenberg. We’ve watched the men that tried (?) and he’s crushed them then and again, on a scale of one to five, the two of us are a ten, So sit back and relax, eat your popcorn, have some fun, cause’ tonight, Ryback will understand, why two is greater than one.” – Stan Stansky; and Arthur Rosenberg
Cole is unimpressed.
Ryback enters with a huge close up on his face and pyro off camera. The match begins and Ryback LAUNCHES one opponent into the air with a simple back drop. The picture goes out for a second and Lawler jokes about the guy “taking out the satellite.” The second guy leaps into Ryback and gets tossed into his partner. Ryback takes the first opponent up in suplex position, and then does a brief march before dropping him. He tosses both men into a corner and crushes them with a shoulder charge. He shoots off the ropes and takes BOTH MEN DOWN WITH ONE CLOTHESLINE. Ryback hooks both men in a suplex position and hoists them both up on his shoulders. He marches briefly, takes a short run and drops back down on both men for the three-count.
Punk vs. Kane is next.
There MUST be a winner.
C.M. Punk comes out to “Cult of Personality,” while we hype the triple threat match at No Way Out for the WWE title. Cole begs Johnny to call off the main event. Johnny hangs up on him. Daniel Bryan comes out and grabs the mike for “Q&A time.”
“Has AJ gone completely delusional, since I dumped her? Yes! Will Kane destroy C.M. Punk tonight? Yes!
At No Way Out, in the triple threat match, will I become the new WWE champion? YES! YES! YES!” – Daniel Bryan
Kane’s pyro goes off while Bryan takes a seat. The WWE has a poll up on the website, “who is the greatest threat to C.M. Punk, Kane, Daniel Bryan… or AJ?”
Punk and Kane lock up. Kane forces Punk to the corner, and beats him down with a knee, punches, and stomping. He takes punk by the head into another corner, and continues the beat down. Kane whips Punk across the ring, charges into a big boot by Punk. Punk scores a jumping thrust kick, and takes Kane over and out with a clothes line. Punk hits the ropes and launches himself shoulder first into Kane, putting him down. Punk goes up on a corner and hits a flying axe-handle. Punk forces Kane back in the ring. He goes up top and hits him with a flying body press for a two count.
Punk scores a few kicks to the mid-section but runs into a knee. Kane hits the low drop-kick to the head for a two count. Kane shoves Punk by the head into a corner and hits a punch. He goes outside the ring to send Punk back with a shot to the face. He stomps Punk down and drops several elbows to Punks chest for a two count.
Kane body slams Punk and drops the leg for a two count, then locks Punk up in a chin lock-leg scissors combo, but Punk elbows out of it. Punk takes over with kicks, forearm shots, and elbows. Kane scoops him up but Punk slides down behind him and scores a hard kick to the mid section. Punk charges, but Kane catches him by the neck and tosses him over the top rope to the floor. Daniel Bryan laughs.
We’re back and Punk hooks a sleeper attempt while Cole begs Daniel Bryan for help in his match with John Cena. Kane drops Punk with a belly to back suplex, and gets a two count.
Kane has Punk in a chin lock. Punk elbows out, and gives Kane a few shots but gets caught in a side-slam for a two count.
Kane goes to the top rope, but Punk rockets up to meet him with a kick to the head, and both men are down. Punk scores the high-knee/bulldog combo for a two count.
Punk goes outside and springs to the top rope for a flying clothesline and a two count.
Punk tries to get Kane up on his shoulders for a “go to sleep,” but can’t hold him. Punk shoots off the ropes into a big boot by Kane and a two count.
Kane gets set for a choke slam, but Punk ducks, hooks the arm and gets a neck breaker for two.
While Bryan looks on, Punk goes to the top rope. Kane scores a shot to the face, and attempts a Superplex, but Punk fights him off. Kane goes down, and Punk hits a flying elbow for two.
Punk connects with a sliding kick, and lays in with forearms. Kane sends him hard, into the barricade, and crawls back in the ring. Bryan scores two kicks to Punk while the ref is busy with Kane.
Kane brings Punk back in with a hip toss and tries another choke-slam, Punk scores a kick to the head.
Both men are down, and AJ runs out. AJ argues with the ref, Bryan starts yelling at AJ, Punk launches himself into Bryan and bounces his head on the barricade.
Punk slides back in the ring and Kane scores a choke slam for the three-count.
AJ gets in the ring to tend to Punk. Kane stares at AJ. Bryan hits Kane, Kane kicks Bryan out. Kane turns back to AJ. AJ, SMILES at Kane. Kane looks confused, and leaves. AJ looks confused, and goes back to Punk. Bryan looks confused.
We do a promo for Cole vs. Cena and go to commercial.
DID YOU KNOW? WWE has more Facebook fans than MLB.
Josh Mathews interview AJ, asking about the “look” she gave Kane. AJ goes “manic pixie girl” (key word – manic,) on Josh and scares him off.
We recap Cena challenging Cole at the beginning of the show. Cole begs the WWE universe to use social media to beg Johnny Ace to call off the match. We go to a promo for Big Show, talking about how after 18 years of everybody else’s crap, we’re all gonna feel his pain.
Tag Team Champions R-Truth and Kofi Kingston come out as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and it’s Kofi in the ring w/Curt Hawkins. Kofi and Truth are all taped up, selling injuries from last week. Kofi and Curtis lock up, Kofi gets a wrist lock, Hawkins counters into a side head lock, Kofi sends him into the ropes, and Hawkins scores a shoulder block, hits the ropes, Kofi down, Hawkins over, Kofi leapfrogs twice and hits an elbow for a two count.
Kofi pulls Hawkins back w/the hammerlock, tags in R-Truth, double whip into a double hip toss, Kofi hits a kick to the face, Truth does a jumping split, hits the ropes, does a spin and drops a leg for a two count.
Hawkins tags in his partner, Tyler Recks, who runs into a leg-trip, take down; misses a clothesline attempt and R-Truth hits a spiraling forearm.
Truth pummels Recks in the corner. Hawkins takes a cheap shot from outside. Truth kicks him to the floor, but Recks pulls Truth back down hard, and beats on him. He picks him up in a back-breaker, and tags in Hawkins.
Hawkins gets in a shot to the side, a knee to the back, and tags back out to Recks, who stomps on Truth.
Truth and Recks trade shots. Recks pick Truth up in a slam, but Truth slides out and hits a jumping thrust kick. Recks tags in Hawkins, Truth tags in Kofi. Kofi comes off the top rope with the “superman punch,” to Hawkins, a boot to Recks, and a clothesline, knife chop, dropkick combo to Hawkins. Kofi hits another flying punch, and gives Hawkins the “boom boom” double leg drop.
Kofi, in the corner, signals for “Trouble in Paradise,” but has to take out Recks. Hawkins misses a clothesline, Kofi misses the kick, Hawkins shoves him into the corner, Kofi hits a flying body press for two, but Recks breaks it up.
Truth runs into a boot by Recks, Recks tosses him out, Truth pulls Recks out by the ankles to the floor, Hawkins misses a charge and Kofi connects with the “Trouble in Paradise” kick for the three-count.
Cole is told his match with Cena is next. Cena walks to the ring with a smile the length of his entire face, while Cole palms his face.
Promo for RAW 1000: Triple Hs’ best RAW memory, making a big comeback from leg surgery on Jan 7, 2002.
We’re back, and Cena gets introduced for his match, Cole tries to talk his way out of it. Johnny Ace rolls in on his chair, and makes it a no dq match… if Cena can beat Tensai.
They lock up, and Tensai scores an elbow to Cenas head. Tensai punches Cena into the corner and beats him down with punching and stomping. Tensai gets a head butt, and pummels Cena into the ropes. Tensai digs his boot into Cena as the crowd starts the “Let’s go Cena/Cena Sucks,” chant.
Tensai catapults Cena neck-first into the middle rope. Cena gets up, and trades punches with Tensai. Cena fights him back, and takes him over and out to the floor with a clothesline.
Cena throws Tensai back in the ring, but Sakamoto gets two strong kicks to Cena while the ref isn’t looking. Michael Cole cheers as we go to commercial.
We come back to Tensai squeezing Cenas head. Cena fights out with a dropkick, but Tensai takes him down with a clothesline.
Tensai picks him up into the corner, whips him across the ring, and hits him with an “avalanche.” Tensai tries it again, but runs into Cenas boots. Cena scores a bulldog from the top rope, but when he tries a suplex, Tensai floats over and drops down on Cenas arm. Tensai hits Cena with a charge and gets a two count.
Tensai sends Cena to the floor with a big head butt. Michael Cole takes the chance to taunt Cena. Tensai bounces Cenas head off the announce table. Cole gets in a slap, and Jerry gets up to shove Cole back.
Jerry and Cole get heated at each other while Tensai beats Cena down, and whips him into the stairs.
Cena just beats the ten-count to get back in the ring. Tensai hooks a double underarm suplex for a two count, but misses a senton splash. Cena hits a shoulder block, ducks a clothesline, and gets Tensai down with another shoulder block. Cena clocks Sakamoto, ducks a shot from Tensai, gets him up in a cradle-drop suplex, hits the five knuckle shuffle, gets him up in the “AA” and gets the three-count.
And now, the “main event,” of the evening; Cole has to face John Cena in a no dq match. Cena is all smiles; Cole looks like he’s facing foreclosure on his home. Cole gets up… and runs into the audience. Cena catches him, and after a noogie or two, tosses him over the railing. Cole runs to the announcers’ seat and grabs a mike as Cena throws him back in the ring.
Cole tries to talk Cena out of the match; however it quickly turns into an angry promo about how important he is. This leads to Cena ripping all Coles’ clothes off and mimicking Big Shows’ “shhh” routine before slapping the hell out of Cole.
Cena grabs Cole in a chin lock and makes him apologize into the mike, to Jerry Lawler, then to J.R. The logical follow up is to pour BBQ sauce all over him. Cena follows this up with his hilarious fire extinguisher routine, spraying Cole until Tensai sneaks in a double choke-slam. Cole gets a cheap two-count, and then tries to whack Cena with the extinguisher. Cena catches him in the “AA,” and this match finally ends.
I know. Raw is taped tonight. So is Mad Men. It’s still good. Here’s to hoping that we continue the hot streak.
We start off the night with CM Punk and Mark Henry (who is already in the ring?). The crowd was hot and engaged already. This was a good big man-little man match. Both guys really brought it. And Punk had to go to a crazy place to get the win. Then Jericho went back and forth for a bit. Jericho had a video where he showed Punk going into a pub. Apparently that means he was drinking.
Santino and Otunga had a match. It was painless. Please nobody ask Otunga to take a blood test. I think he might end up pregnant.
The Brock interview I think went pretty well. I really liked it.
Kane killed Zack Ryder. Then he called out Orton.
John Cena came out and delivered a really good spot-on promo. And then Johnny Ace came out. Cena was going to have a secret opponent. I was hoping for the return of Berzerker.
We got Kofi vs. Daniel Bryan. Tonight on Facebook, somebody called Daniel Bryan the most over face in the WWE. Too bad the WWE wants him to be a heel. It was a really good match. Daniel Bryan could cut a newborn kitten’s throat on live tv and the fans would chant, “One more time.”
Eve is having a one-on-one with Johnny Ace. Poor Johnny.
Great Khali. Because you know, the people haven’t been through enough. Khali was going to be teaming up with Big Show. They got to face the Colons. It was a great squash match. Too bad it was up against the tag champs.
John Cena comes out and has a mystery opponent-Lord Tensai. It wasn’t a bad match all things considered. Tensai walked away with a win.
All in all… Not a bad Raw. There were still some moments that left me scratching my head. But they seem to have a purpose, so it can’t be that bad, right?