Tag Archive: Superbowl

  1. G’s Stampede Wrestling “Classic”

    1 Comment

    I don’t know if six years ago constitutes a “classic,” per say. However, with the Superbowl being a week prior, it occurred to me that there has been an off-and-on again revival of Stampede Wrestling.

    Today’s match took place on September 15, 2006 during the half time CFL matchup between the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and the Calgary Stampeders (the Rock’s former club). It is outside, under a veiled night sky… and because it’s Canada, it’s snowing/sleeting at negative three degrees Celsius.

    Our bout for the North American Heavyweight Championship: Apocalypse {C} versus TJ Wilson (Tyson Kidd of WWE). While the footage is a little blurry (in part due to the weather), it’s an interesting watch. The two grapplers deal with the adverse ring conditions, trying not to slip on the icy canvas… and I don’t think I’ve ever seen an outdoor match anything like this. Enjoy!

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY1cUecjhXg[/youtube]

  2. RAW 2.7.11

    2 Comments

    Hello everyone!  I know RAW is a little late today, but last night was full of internet frustrations and homework.  So, that’s why it’s up now, and that’s why it’s shorter than usual.  As you can see, I did still track Tweets for this review, so, yeah.  Here we go!

    Look busy! The boss is comin’!

    I actually missed having the opportunity to say that.  I missed Mr. McMahon.  He comes out onto the stage and says that now that the SuperBowl is over, there’s one thing left that supersedes the SuperBowl, that has more grandeur, more excitement- Wrestlemania!  Each year, something special separates one Wrestlemania from all the others.  Next week, we’ll be introduced to a man who embodies that.  No one has hosted an event in front of 75,000 people before, not at the Grammys or anywhere else!  Next week, we’ll meet the guest host for Wrestlemania 27!

    I hear voices in my head…

    As Randy makes his way down to the ring, Vince heads out.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, Randy Orton delivered a punt to Husky Harris and took him out of action.>

    Randy comes out and says that if Punk thinks they’re even, he’s delusional.  Orton is only JUST getting started, and it’s going to cost Punk a helluva lot more than just Harris.  He starts to go on, but Punk interrupts.  Punk sits on the stage and says he’s surprised they agree: it’s not over by a long shot.  And, because he knows Randy is dying to know, Punk tells us the reason he cost Randy Orton the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble:

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Unforgiven 2008: Randy Orton injures CM Punk and forces him to forfeit the World Heavyweight Championship.>

    Punk says that now Randy knows why.  Randy really doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and that night, CM Punk had to forfeit the title.  Punk hasn’t forgotten and has waited this long.  The difference between their actions is that Punk’s are defensible.  As long as they’re on the same show, Punk vows that Randy Orton with never be WWE Champion again.  Punk says that he’s not going to wait until the Elimination Chamber; he’s going to eliminate Randy Orton right now.

    The New Nexus comes to the ring and attacks Orton, who fights back for a while before the numbers game becomes too much.    Punk gets in Randy’s face, and Randy manages to get a good solid hit on Punk’s nose.  So solid, in fact, that Punk starts pouring blood.  Nexus gets Orton still, however, and lifts him up on Punk’s shoulders, and Punk hits the Go to Sleep.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @seraphalexiel Strangely enough, it looks like if Mason Ryan, Otunga, and Mike McGuillicutty all went to school with Punk, they’d bully the shit out of him

    @ThingsColeSays Punk is bleeding! Stop the segment!

    @Niki_Sushi Punk should be thanking Randy. He’s the one that was breathing Hasky’s ass at the Rumble. #BWF #RAW

    @Rack_Flair Vince got out of a coma yesterday to catch the Superbowl #wwe #raw

    @TKeep123 Vince McMahon out to save the #RAW ratings…….and hype #WrestleMania !!!! #RAW #WWE #BWF

    @CMPunkSays In case you wonder what I think of Punk’s tactic of making #WWE’s top faces look like total pricks… I FUCKING LOVE IT.

    @JonHexLives Wow. CM Punk has legit beef with Randy Orton. That’s hilarious. #WWE #RAW #BWF

    During the commercial, we learn that the RAW General Manager has put the members of the New Nexus in action against each of the members of RAW’s Elimination Chamber match, which will come to a head tonight when John Cena faces off against CM Punk.

    Mason Ryan vs R-Truth


    Truth comes out and says Green Bay, Wisconsin instead of Milwaukee, and the Milwaukee crowd lets him know that he fucked it up, via a Milwaukee chant.  Ryan basically latches onto a knee and starts targeting that before be puts Truth in a submission that Truth taps out of rather quickly.

    Mason Ryan wins via submission.

    However, after the match, Mason Ryan doesn’t let go right away.  He continues to hold it, and then gets out to grab a chair.  The ref stops him, so Ryan just puts him back in the submission.  However, the ref has seen enough, and reverses his decision.

    R-Truth wins via disqualification.

    Later on tonight, John Cena will take on CM Punk, and the WWE Champion The Miz wants to say a congratulations to the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at Elimination Chamber, Jerry “The King” Lawler!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @ThingsColeSays BLACKEYEDPEASSUCKEDLASTNIGHT WHAT’S UP? RIPMYHEADOFF STAND UP AND SAY WHAT’S UP. WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP?

    @HitTheRopes I’m going to have FAITH and hope that Mason Ryan destroys R-Truth as much as Truth destroys the English language. #WWE

    @KeepItFiveStar LMAO!! MILWAUKEE IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVORITE CROWD! What a mistake by R-Truth! How dare he hurt that crowd’s feelings

    @CMPunkSays Holy crap, that’s a BROCK LOCK! #WWE

    @kickoutblog Oh R-Truth, you can’t screw the cheap city pop, especially when it’s Milwaukee, which is an Indian word meaning “The Good Land.”

    @TKeep123 Mason Ryan needs an “I am NOT Batista” t-shirt ! #RAW #WWE #BWF

    Punk, Otunga, and McGuillicutty are backstage, and Punk is pacing, holding a towel up to his bloodied nose.  Mason Ryan joins them backstage and Punk looks upset before he gives Ryan a ‘Well done’.  He says that tonight, he doesn’t care if they win or if they lose, so long as they hurt people.  He wants all of his Elimination Chamber opponents hurt so that he can have the advantage.  R-Truth and Randy Orton are already hurt.  Ryan says something in Arabic before saying two down, three to go.  Otunga worries about taking out Sheamus, but Punk says that he always has a plan.

    WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Tamina vs Melina, Nikki, and Brie Bella

    Natalya’s ringside for commentary, and says that next week, she’s going to get her rematch against Eve for the Diva’s Championship.  Her constant bickering with Cole was more annoying than anything else.  As for the action in the ring, the early momentum went to Melina and the Bellas, but Tamina cleaned house of the Bellas and Eve pinned Melina for the win.

    WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Tamina win via pinfall.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: The 2.21.11 image returns, preceded by the shack in the rain.  A close up comes to the door this time, and it swings open, only for the mysterious man in boots to walk in.  Johnny Cash’s Ain’t No Grave plays as the image of 2.21.11 appears in fire on the side of the door.>

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 Gail Kim in a match? Hell must be freezing over…. #RAW #WWE #BWF

    @KeepItFiveStar Also this is Gail Kim’s third consecutive week on RAW. Tamina – 4. Bare feet- 39. And Eve is still a dude.

    @Niki_Sushi Damn it all. Tonight can only get worse if Daniel shows up. #BWF #RAW #knockonwood

    @WWE_Creative Thanks @NatbyNature for burying Just For Men while mocking MIchael Cole. It’s not like they’re our SPONSOR or anything. #RAWTonight

    @JonHexLives Is that white gold, Michael Cole? #Divaschampionship #WWE #RAW #BWF

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: The Elimination Chamber facts.>

    John Morrison makes his way to the ring.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @dasharpshooters When WWE uses a Johnny Cash song in their video, you know its serious. 2-21-11 is gonna be huge. #wwe #raw

    @kickoutblog I predict we’ll see that Elimination Chamber hype vid about 437 times between now and Feb. 20

    @TKeep123 Ain’t No Grave “Gonna Hold This Body Down” by Johnny Cash … nice touch to the #WWE 2-21-11 promo… #RAW #WWE #BWF

    John Morrison vs Michael McGuillicutty

    McGuillicutty tries to send his focus to Morrison’s arm, holding it out of the ring and about to crush it between the ring and the steel steps, but Morrison moves it out of the way before he can.  Morrison picks up the pace of the match, and McGuillicutty literally walks right into a flash kick.  Morrison hits Starship Pain (and doesn’t miss it this time) for the win.

    John Morrison wins via pinfall.

    It starts to look like Morrison’s going to be uninjured, but Punk comes down as Morrison is celebrating and pulls a Maryse, spraying Mickie Morrison in the face with something before kicking him in the head.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi Did Punk just pull a Maryse there?! #BWF #RAW

    @CMPunkSays HA HA NOW YOU’RE BLIND #WWE

    @KeepItFiveStar OH NO! ANTI-PARKOUR SPRAY! Damn you Punk!

    @lovehateRIOT i’m pretty sure that punk just used jomo’s own hairspray on him. rofl #raw

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, the RAW Rumble was won by Jerry “The King” Lawler, with Cena giving an assist.>

    AWESOME!

    Miz comes out with Alex Riley in tow.  He says that as he watched the RAW Rumble last week, one thought was going through his mind: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!  He says he was pulling for King the whole time.  He asks King to join him in the ring and tells Riley to get out so that King doesn’t feel uncomfortable.  King enters the ring, and Miz asks if King has any idea why he was rooting for him.  King says that he figures it’s because Miz thinks he’s the weakest.  Miz says that’s not it at all, and he could have beaten anyone who won the RAW Rumble for the WWE Championship.  No, the reason he was rooting for King is because he feels that they’re mirror images of one another.  King had the biggest mouth and the power to incite riots with just his words.  People would listen when King spoke.  Miz says that, in a way, he patterned his career after King’s, and now everyone’s wondering what he will do next.  King says that first of all, they aren’t mirror images of one another and says something about how he wouldn’t want to look in the mirror every morning and see his haircut like Miz’s.  He then says that he’s always had a big mouth, but he can back it up.  He says that if Miz thinks he’s a modern King, he doesn’t know King as well as he thinks he does, and that King didn’t pattern his career after anyone: He’s an original.  Miz then calls him an original cheap shot artist.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, King attacks Ted DiBiase after DiBiase tries to get his spot in the RAW Rumble.>

    Miz says that that was equivalent to a sucker punch.  King says that he thinks that Miz is a sucker, and that he speaks for the entire WWE Universe, both in Milwaukee and all over, when he says the Miz sucks (oh, but I disagree, sir!).  King says that Miz is right: he’s never been WWE Champion or been to Wrestlemania.  No one has any idea what it would mean to him to do both, and that it was his lifelong dream.  King says that he will win at the Elimination Chamber, and he will say he’s going to Wrestlemania.  Miz says that he’s wrong, and after their match at the Elimination Chamber match, the whole world will hear, “I’m the Miz, and I’m-“  But King interrupts and starts up an ‘awful’ chant.

    Miz, Alex Riley, and King all start to brawl.  When it looks like King has the upper hand, Ted DiBiase comes out to help Miz out, but Daniel Bryan comes out to join the fray to help King out.

    “King and Bryan versus Miz and DiBiase NOW.

    WWE Champion The Miz and Ted DiBiase vs Jerry “The King” Lawler and the United States Champion Daniel Bryan

    Is it just me, or has Bryan not been wearing the US Championship lately?

    Ted and Bryan start out, and Bryan starts with some hard kicks.  He gets DiBiase in a pin, but DiBiase kicks out, only for Bryan to do it again.  DiBiase kicks out again and King is tagged in.  Miz comes in and is thrown back to the mat a few times before Miz throws King out of the ring.  While Bryan is distracting the ref, DiBiase comes out and attacks King outside the ring.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi DAMMIT! I JINXED MYSELF! S RATJLABEJKLNBSRZG;LAEORJIA;EJHBP3O4UART;GLJLBTS GO AWAY DANIEL! #BWF #RAW

    @Lunna1969 Bad Teddy! Go to my room!

    @KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase with revenge #ForTheFuture !

    @KeepItFiveStar Yes. The Miz is awful. AWFULLY GOOD at being AWESOME!

    @kickoutblog The Miz is killing it, would be nice if he hit Lawler with a Piledriver at Elimination Chamber, just to really sell the “mirror image” idea.

    Maryse is ringside now, and Alex Riley has been on commentary since the match started.

    Bryan is in with Miz when we come back, and Bryan dominates.  Ted helps Miz out and Miz turns the momentum in his favor.  Miz hits the swinging corner clothesline before going and tagging DiBiase in.  Bryan fights back, but DiBiase goes for a cover, only for Bryan to kick out.  DiBiase gets the momentum before tagging Miz in.  Miz trash talks Bryan, who takes advantage, and tags King in.  Miz tags in DiBiase, only for King to get momentum.  King hits what I think was a DDT.  Miz breaks up the cover, and Bryan attacks him to get him out of the ring.  DiBiase starts to get some momentum on King, but King gets him down, lowers the strap, and punches him straight in the face.

    United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Jerry “The King” Lawler win via pinfall.

    Alex Riley vows that he will not let The Miz lose at Elimination Chamber.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @KeepItFiveStar Hey Maryse showed up! Gail did not. She’s being stomped out by The Bellas somewhere

    @HitTheRopes I would feel bad about DiBiase always losing but he comes down to the ring with Maryse at his side.

    Sheamus vs David Otunga

    Before Sheamus can make it all the way down to the ring, Josh Matthews follows him and asks for his opinion on Mark Henry’s comments.  Sheamus asks what comments, and Josh says that Mark Henry said that Sheamus didn’t deserve to be in the Elimination Chamber match, and Mark Henry should replace him.  Sheamus says that Mark Henry never won, doesn’t know if he can fit, and that Mark Henry should shut his mouth before Sheamus shuts it for him.

    Otunga makes his way to the ring for the ma-

    Mark Henry makes his way out and is pissed.  He had Sheamus duke it out for a bit, with Otunga watching, before Otunga tries to get up on the top turnbuckle to do something, only for Sheamus to send him outside the ring.  Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, and is rewarded with two World’s Strongest Slams right in a row.  Mark Henry yells at him to shut his trap before leaving.  Otunga crawls in the ring and stands over Sheamus like he actually did something.

    Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto del Rio.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @HitTheRopes Mark Henry wasn’t about to lose that brawl during Black History Month. Not to the well-tanned Sheamus. Otunga stands tall too.

    @TKeep123 I didn’t think Sheamus could look any whiter…but now as he stands next to Mark Henry….I was wrong. #RAW #WWE #BWF

    @ThingsColeSays SHEAMUS = BURIED

    @KeepItFiveStar Wow. The crowd has gone mild for this one. They’re still mad at R-Truth for fuckin Milwaukee and they’re taking it out on all black people

    @Niki_Sushi Dark Chocolate, interrupts Milk Chocolate to kill White Chocolate. It’s not Valentine’s Day yet. #BWF #RAW

    @kickoutblog Sheamus getting punked by Henry was incredibly stupid.

    @kickoutblog All that did was make Sheamus, ya know, the guy who’s actually IN the Chamber, look bad.

    Alberto del Rio tells us his name is Alberto del Rio!… but we already knew that.  He says that Santino Marella really thinks that he almost got del Rio.  It was del Rio’s destiny to win the Royal Rumble, just like it’s his destiny to be the next World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania.

    Santino Marella vs Alberto del Rio

    Santino gets fired up before the match even starts and throws del Rio out of the ring.  Del Rio gets back in the ring, and the ref starts the match.  Del Rio tries to do something to Santino, but Santino moves last second and del Rio is sent between the top and middle ropes.  The match continues on, and Santino nearly hits the Cobra, but del Rio ducks it, focuses on the arm, and then locks in the cross arm breaker for the win.

    Alberto del Rio wins via submission.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: The New Nexus (and Mark Henry) take out Randy Orton, R-Truth, John Morrison, and Sheamus.>

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @KeepItFiveStar LOL I love that. “My name…My name is Alberto Del RRRRRRRRRIOOOOOOOOOOOO >.< OOOOOOOOO!!! 😀 “

    @kickoutblog Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella, even more logical storytelling from WWE tonight… but you already knew that!

    @StrikerSays You know, @RRWWE didn’t seem quite as EXCITED for that win as he usually does. Then again, his Royal Rumble performance set the bar HIGH.

    Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come out, and Vickie says that she has something to say: in two weeks, Dolph will not be in the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match as a challenger, but as the new World Heavyweight Champion.  She knows for a fact because Dolph will beat Edge-

    BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR CLEAN YOUR SHOES!

    One of them asks what Cena’s doing out there, and Cena responds that he’s putting a stop to this, because it’s more offensive than Christina Aguilera butchering the National Anthem at the SuperBowl, and then says he’s just kidding.  He says that he’s come to apologize for Truth, who may have celebrated a little too long and thinks he’s still in Green Bay, but they’re in Milwaukee, in case you didn’t know from Cole shouting it like his brain was going to explode earlier.  And, also because the last time the three of them were in the ring together, it was awesome.  He says that he and Vickie had a sweet… sexy, passionate make out session, and then says, “You remember, Dolph.  You were there and cool with it.”  Vickie says that this is not how you respect that acting General Manager of Smackdown and if they don’t show her some respect, she’ll leave.  So, they don’t show her respect, and she leaves.  Cena then basically says that he will kick Punk’s Elimination Chamber in the Elimination Chamber and Elimination Chamber a bunch more times.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @KeepItFiveStar Don’t apologize on behalf of Truth! Are you serious? If anyone else did that, they’d either be released or depushed immediately.

    @HitTheRopes Wonder if Cena will apologize for Truth just being a sad example for us blacks? #wwe

    @Niki_Sushi ‘I’ll kick his elimination chamber’ – that sounds SO damn dirty. I twitched, for real. #BWF #RAW

    @kickoutblog See, it is possible to have an awesome segment, teasing Vickie Guerrero, without calling her fat.

    CM Punk vs John Cena

    Punk and Cena go at it for a while, with Cena repeatedly looking toward the ramp for the interference for New Nexus.  Apparently, he gets sick of waiting, and low-blows Punk to get himself disqualified.

    CM Punk wins via disqualification.

    The New Nexus makes their way down the ring, and Mason Ryan stops by CM Punk, who is outside the ring.  McGuillicutty and Otunga stand in the ring with Cena before they attack him, but King gets up and gives Cena a chair.  Cena then proceeds to clean the ring out, and Nexus backs away.

    So, it wasn’t the most impressive RAW ever for me, but there you have it.  I admit that I kind of lost interest toward the end there, so I’m not 100% sure what exactly happened.  Hopefully, next week will be more interesting!

  3. iMPACT: 01/27/11. Murphy is “his pal”

    5 Comments

    Another Thursday, and a whole lot more suffering for the G. See last week Kurt Angle trespassed a whole bunch, which was a wee bit of an overkill… expect more Karen Angle-Jarrett tonight! Also, Abyss was MURDERED literally by Crimson (the Amazing Red’s little brother) via “Janice” (Abyss’ nail-laced two by four). Crimson promised “They” are coming, even though “They” already came in the form of Immortal. Oww… my brain already hurts, and the show hasn’t even started yet…
    (more…)

  4. Random Randomness

    1 Comment

    Greetings all!  Hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season celebrating whatever it is you all celebrate out there in the BWF Universe, I know I did.  I apologize on the fact that I haven’t been on here as much as I said I have but the homeowner stuff has kept me very busy on top of being sick too, I haven’t been too much up for writing nor can I say that if I’ll even be back on a regular basis but I’m gonna try.  Before I get going I want to thank the awesome staff here that has kept things going while JoE and myself have been away.  So now that I got all the mushy stuff out of the way let’s see what I’ve got on tap for this edition: (more…)

  5. RAW 9.13.10

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    Welcome to the season premiere of Monday Night RAW, the longest episodic TV show in history!… I typed that approximately four hours before RAW, so if Michael Cole says that, I may miss the first part of RAW because I’m too busy laughing at his predictability.

    Anyway, courtesy of the RAW General Manager, Randy Orton will face John Cena tonight!  And don’t forget, since it’s the season premiere, it’s also the return of RAW Roulette!

    Randy and John are standing and staring at each other with the wheel behind them.  Josh Matthews explains that this match can be anything.  Eve spins the wheel, and the main event match will be… a tables match.  Matthews reminds us that the last time Cena was in a Tables match, he lost to Sheamus.  Cena says it’s a new season, and the WWE Universe is divided.  And, tonight, he’s feeling lucky.

    Please welcome OchoCinco, the special guest star, according to Justin Roberts!  OchoCinco welcomes us to the Season Premiere of Monday Night RAW!  He says that there’s never been a guest star as handsome as him.  Tonight will be exciting, unforgettable.  RAW Roulette is back and –

    AWESOME!

    Miz says that from one Ohioan to another, Welcome to RAW, OchoCinco! The Bengals are his team, and RAW is his show.  It’s nice to have a guest star Miz can relate to: They both say what they want, when they want because they can.  Miz says they have some things in common, and then says they don’t, because Miz is a champion, and OchoCinco will never be a champion because he plays for the Bengals.  OchoCinco says he has two words for Miz: Child, please.  Obviously, Miz hasn’t been to Cincinnati in a while, because last time he checked, the Bengals won something last year.  The Reds are going to the playoffs this year.  Not just him, but Tiyo and the rest of the team are getting ready to get a SuperBowl Championship this year.  Miz says really? That’s funny, because the only thing he’s seen Tiyo and him leave before half-time.  Anyway, he continues to hate on OchoCinco for a while, and the rest of the team.

    “Enough talk. It’s time to determine the Miz’s match tonight. Please spin the wheel.”

    Alicia Fox spins the wheel, and it’s a submission match.

    “The wheel determined what kind of non-title match The Miz will have tonight.  For Miz’s opponent, I’m going to place that decision in the hands of Chad OchoCinco.”

    OchoCinco says that 85 represents the number of ways that his opponent can tap Miz out.  And, of course, it’s Daniel Bryan.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi Yay for generic rock music. Need to work on that muffin top, Daniel Bryan. You’re in PROFESSIONAL wrestling now, not the indy’s. #bwf #raw

    @DCsPeoplesChamp If this Raw sucks I’m gonna riot…#BWF #WWE

    @TKeep123 Miz in a submission match? Gotta be Daniel Bryon Danielson…!! #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @sultrysunset ….. i want jim ross to punch michael cole on live tv. please… do it for me

    @HitTheRopes Well I’m glad Miz showed up. Chad played off him much better as he was boring prior to Miz coming out. #wwe

    Daniel Bryan vs. The United States Champion The Miz in a Submissions Match

    Personally, I’ve been sick of Daniel Bryan for a while, but I’m putting that aside.  Alex Riley is ringside in The Miz’s new t-shirt, watching as Miz keeps the momentum early.  Miz gets Bryan’s knee around the rope and kicks him a few times, before the ref pushes him away.  Miz gets Bryan in a figure four, but Bryan reverses and Miz crawls out.  Bryan goes for the LaBell Lock, but Miz grabs the bottom rope.  Riley checks on Miz, but Miz tells him to get off of him.  Miz stays outside the ring for a while, not moving.  He takes the mic and says he thinks he has a hernia.  He says that to insure he can defend his title Sunday, he’s pulling out of the match.

    Daniel Bryan wins via… forfeit/injury?

    Miz says that if Bryan wants to compete tonight, he can go against Miz’s apprentice, Alex Riley.  Riley climbs in the ring in a pair of jeans, attacking him.

    Daniel Bryan vs Alex Riley in a Submission Match

    Riley gets some good momentum, and then tries to get Bryan in a submission, only to get locked up in the LaBell Lock.

    Daniel Bryan wins via submission.

    Miz climbs in the ring after and attacks Bryan.  Miz then rubs Bryan’s face in the title, calling him average and saying that he’ll never have the title.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Daniel counters it into the LaBell Lock.

    Jillian Hall spins the wheel, singing Right Round, with Edge, and the wheel keeps spinning.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @divadirt Jillian and Edge dueting on ‘Spin Me Right Round’ = priceless. #WWE

    @JRsBBQ Miz tapping on the US Title..poetic irony. Miz’ gastro issues don’t detract from his talent. US Title match may steal PPV Sun in Chicago.

    @HitTheRopes @MiketheMiz is so AWESOME he can self-diagnose himself. LOL #wwe

    You think you know me…

    Edge vs Evan Bourne in a Body Slam Challenge

    Evan gets an early advantage, hitting Edge hard with a nice kick to the chin.  Evan manages to get Edge’s feet off the ground, but he falls over, and Edge gets him down on the ground.  Edge picks him up, and body slams him.

    Edge wins via body slam.

    Evan crawls to the corner, and Edge spears him.

    “Congratulations on your victory, Edge. However, since you blatantly took advantage of your opponent after the match, I would like to see you compete in a second body slam challenge against this man.”

    Somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked…


    Edge vs Mark Henry in a Body Slam Challenge

    Edge hits Mark with some physical blows, but Mark just shoves him across the ring.  Edge manages to get Henry off his feet, but falls over with Henry on top of him.  Henry scoops Edge up and slams him back down.

    Mark Henry wins via body slam.

    Mark climbs out of the ring and checks on Evan after the match.

    Later tonight, John Cena vs Randy Orton in a tables match!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @seraphalexiel I think the wheel landed on an ‘Evan Bourne loses’ match

    @ThingsColeSays I could get behind a Mark Henry/Evan Bourne tag team. #justsayin

    @TKeep123 Damn, if Edge doesn’t lose a tooth from that kick, I’ll be shocked! Look for fast finish! #RAW #WWE #BWF

    Ted DiBiase and Maryse vs R-Truth and Eve Torres in a Song and Dance Match

    Sorry, first off, to @KeepItFiveStar that Truth is on RAW.  Each team picks a member to sing and the other will dance.  The winner is picked by audience interaction.  Truth shoots down his own theme and sings something else.  Eve dances while he does.  Maryse looks appalled and Ted just looks confused.  Jerry says to put the camera on the dancing, and I have to agree.  I have no idea what Truth is saying at all…

    Ted and Maryse are up next, however.  Ted says this is stupid.  He says its Monday night RAW, not America’s Got Talent.  No one wants to hear Truth rap.  Ted says that he should just forfeit and walk out, but he’s not.  And he won’t because Maryse knows that Ted’s full of surprises.  Ted asks for a spotlight, and everyone is reminded of Batista.  Ted starts singing something with no music, and Maryse does some weird dance thing… It’s painful to watch.

    R-Truth and Eve Torres win by… overwhelming response.

    Maryse and Ted argue in the ring for a minute before DiBiase and Maryse attack Truth and Eve.  Ted demolishes Truth, but Eve is doing much better.  Truth, however, gets the momentum back and Eve slaps Ted before Truth hits lie detector.  Truth starts rapping again, and Eve begins to continue dancing.

    The Bellas spin the wheel, standing alongside OchoCinco, and Regal gets stuck in a trading places match.  OchoCinco says that it’s like switching jerseys with the other team.  Regal is then informed that Goldust is his opponent.  Goldust graciously gives him a wig.  The Bellas start to talk, but luckily Sheamus cuts them off.

    OchoCinco says he got an email from the GM.  The GM said that if Morrison can beat Sheamus next, then Morrison is in the six-pack challenge on Sunday.  Sheamus tells the Bellas to make themselves useful for once and spin the wheel.  Sheamus will face off against Morrison in a Falls Count Anywhere match.  Sheamus says that whatever-his-name-is, tonight he’s gonna show him what good reality TV is, when he wipes the floor with John Morrison is.  Kind of like the Patriots mauled the Bengals yesterday.  Because, unlike his team, Sheamus actually backs up his banter.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 Ocho Dingo, Fella!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @Niki_Sushi AHAHAHAHAHAAHA. Oh, Sheamus. All your witty one-liners are making me love you so much more. #bwf #raw

    @HitTheRopes @RealKingRegal = Bloody Ratings, dammit! The man is pure comedy. @WWE can we get Regal in your next movie? Please? #wwe

    @StrikerSays I’m having a mark attack for Goldust.

    @CawCawBang oh god go away bellas

    @RingsideRants This Ted and Maryse bit is actually making me laugh.

    @dasharpshooters Wrestling where did you go and wtf happened to you? #wwe #Raw

    @iPukeRKOs America we are going backwards not forward. Sad, we can understand everything Sheamus is saying but need subtitles when R-Truth speaks.

    Edge is pacing backstage, and Ryder comes up and says that the GM has it out for Edge.  Edge calls him a tool again, and Ryder says that he’s not a tool, but he will drop the hammer.  Edge says that when he wins the WW Championship, they’ll both go MIA.  Sheamus asks if Edge said he was going to win his championship.  Sheamus says he wouldn’t hold his breath if he were Edge, and Ryder ruins the moment.  Both of them stare at him for a minute.  Sheamus says that he wants Edge to pay close attention to what he does to Morrison next.

    Morrison is warming up backstage, and has a rather dramatic moment with the camera, before he gets to do some of his Parkour, apparently scaring the hell out of some of the guys backstage.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi ATTACK OF THE TOOLS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! WHERE’S THE GHOSTBUSTERS WHEN YOU NEED THEM?!?! #bwf #raw

    @HitTheRopes JoMo dropped down and faced the camera like a superhero. #wwe

    @Niki_Sushi @IAmJericho needs to come back and make this RAW worth watching until the main event. #bwf #raw

    @TKeep123 Yes, Zack Ryder…..you are a tool! …..I’m guessing a rubber mallet. #WWE #RAW #BWF

    The WWE Rewind is of last week when John Morrison made me hate him… And kicked Jericho out of the Six Pack Challenge. Asshole.

    IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD! TOO MANY LIMES! TOO MANY LIMES!

    WWE Champion Sheamus vs John Morrison in a Falls Count Anywhere Match

    Sheamus gets the early advantage over Morrison, but Morrison keeps slipping out of the way.  Sheamus hurls Morrison out of the ring, getting Sheamus to follow him before attacking his knees to send him face-first into the apron.  He hits a hurricanrana through the ropes and goes for a cover outside, only for Sheamus to kick out at two.  Sheamus shoves Morrison into the barrier, and Sheamus ends up getting hurled over the barrier, taking out a security guard.  Morrison then leap-frogs over the barrier, punching Sheamus.  Morrison goes for a cover, but Sheamus kicks out at two again. Sheamus hits Morrison with the Irish Curse backbreaker before driving his head into the steel, then dropping him on it and driving his knee into Morrison’s abs.  He goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue kick, but takes out some equipment instead.  Morrison hits some offense back, but Sheamus takes the advantage.  Sheamus then drives Morrison’s chest into the stage, going for a cover for Morrison to kick out at two.

    Sheamus kicks Morrison around a little, and goes for the High Cross.  He almost falls off, but he doesn’t.  He tries to throw Morrison off the stage, but Morrison manages to flip and land on his feet.  Morrison hits a flash kick on Sheamus and goes for the cover, but Sheamus kicks out at two.  Sheamus goes for the cover, but Morrison kicks out.  Sheamus lifts Morrison, but Morrison manages to get out of the way.  Morrison runs into a back elbow, and Sheamus grabs a chair.  Morrison jumps from the bottom part of the Tron, but misses the cover.  Jericho comes out and hits Morrison in the back with a chair.  Sheamus goes for the cover and wins.

    Sheamus wins via pinfall.

    Chris is sitting in the middle of the ring, and still to come: Randy and John will face off in a Tables Match.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi Thank you @IAmJericho for making this watchable. <3 . #BWF #RAW

    @FrankWWEClown Wow, unbelievable by Morrison. He impresses me more and more every week. #WWE #RAW

    @RingsideRants I don’t mind a Chris Jericho – John Morrison program. Could be really good stuff.

    @TKeep123 Even the Titan-Tron-Bomb doesn’t stop Sheamus! Take that, Free-Runner-Fella! #WWE #RAW #BWF

    Jerry tells Chris that it’s RAW Roulette night, but Chris obviously doesn’t give a flying shit what night it is.  Chris says he’s not going anywhere until he gets exactly what he wants.   He will sit in that chair in the middle of the ring all night long if he has to, until he gets the restitution that he deserves, do you understand what he’s saying to you right now?  He’s going to sit there until we get an email from the esteemed GM, an email that states the Six Pack Challenge is back on, and he has been reinstated back in the match.  Taking him out of the match was stupid, expecting Morrison to replace him was lunacy, and he wants – and will have – justice.  And if he doesn’t get what he wants, he quits.  He will go home and watch as the entire WWE burns up in flames, laughing every step of the way.  And if you don’t think he’s serious, try him.  This time, it’s for real.  So, what’s it gonna be?

    Chris says alright, but he has to warn the GM: before he leaves, he will track down and find the GM, exposing his identity to the entire world.

    Chris tells Cole to just read the email.  And everyone cheers.

    “Jericho, I really don’t like ultimatums.  There’s no chance that’s going to work.  No chance in hell.”  Chris laughs here and asks if he’s expected to believe he’s Vince.  Chris said that if Vince had some orders to be barking, he’d be doing it man to man.  And, more importantly, Vince would realize that his most important asset needs to be in the PPV, so try again GM.

    “There’s something you should know, Jericho.  I will make this six-pack challenge match again, a six-pack elimination match.  It’ll start with six men, and go down to five until there’s a winner.  I’m telling you this because I’ve decided to put you back in the six-pack challenge.  However-“

    Chris cuts him off and tells Cole to give him his moment.  Chris says he’ll let the show continue, and thanks him for finally admitting that Jericho is the biggest, brightest star in the company.  Jericho then guarantees he’ll leave Night of Champions as the WWE Champion.

    “Don’t ever interrupt me again.  As I was saying, I am going to put you back in the six pack challenge, provided you win your match tonight.  That match will take place right now, and since you are the best in the world at what you do, Chris, you’re going to compete in a handicapped match against the WWE Tag Team Champions, the Hart Dynasty.  Oh, Chris, one other thing: This match is going to be contested inside a steel cage.”

    Chris gets out of the ring and starts yelling at Cole as the cage is lowered.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi @IAmJericho vs Michael Cole plz? #BWF #RAW

    @sultrysunset SHUT UP! JUST READ IT! fuccckkkk i love you chris

    @FrankWWEClown “Of course you have an email, just read it, you idiot!” –@IAmJericho #WWE #RAW

    Holy shit match came back quick.

    Hart Dynasty vs Chris Jericho

    Handicapped match, and the Hart Dynasty is taking off bad with the momentum.  Jericho has to climb up, both of them, and Chris would have to himself.  Jericho manages to stop Tyson and pull him back in, but David Hart Smith can’t help anymore.  Tyson goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out at two.  Jericho throws Kidd into the cage, and then smacks him a bit.  Jericho then yells, asking the Gm if that’s what he wants.  The ref opens the door, and Tyson dives for it, but Jericho pulls him back by his trunks.  Jericho then delivers a hard backbreaker to Kidd, kicking him before putting him in a headlock.  Kidd gets momentum back, hitting Jericho pretty damn hard before slamming his head into the turnbuckle.  Kidd Irish Whips Jericho across the ring, and Jericho immediately starts climbing, but Kidd pulls him back into the ring, beating his head against the cage and then throwing him down into the ring.  Kidd stands up and goes to hit Jericho, who attempts to roll him into the walks of Jericho, only for it to be countered.  Kidd goes for the sharpshooter, and Jericho reaches the bottom rope.  Chris manages to get out, and Kidd starts climbing up the cage.  Jericho realizes what he did and grabs Kidd, pulling him back into the ring, before Kidd slams Jericho’s head against the cage again.  Kidd jumps down and Jericho locks him into the Walls of Jericho.

    Chris Jericho wins via submission.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @HitTheRopes Either the stipulation in that cage match was silly or DH Smith was silly for leaving Kidd in their alone…..Or both. *shrugs* #wwe

    @inkincisions HELL YEA CHRIS JERICHO! THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT!!

    @TKeep123 Tyson Kidd…..you tapped. Turn in your little Forehead-Goatee-thingy….. You’re dead to me. #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @FrankWWEClown Oh my god, I thought Tyson was about to break his own neck there. I jumped off my couch. #WWE #RAW

    That one guy in the Hall of Fame is in the crowd, but no one cares.  Not even he cared. That’s sad.

    William Regal vs Goldust in a Trading Places Match

    Goldust is out in the ring looking like Regal, which is actually quite terrifying… And Regal… pulls off a pretty decent Goldust, though he’s pissed as it is.  Poor Regal.  When Regal takes off the robe, people cheered for him.  Poor guy looked a little scared.  Omg, and Regal does a Goldust impression… and Goldust has brass knuckles, punching him with them for the victory, that cheater.

    Goldust wins via cheating-I mean pinfall.

    Up next, Randy Orton takes on John Cena in a Tables match.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @FrankWWEClown My hopes and dreams have came true, @KingRegal has come out dressed as Goldust. I have been waiting many moons to see this. #WWE #RAW

    @AnthonySkatz Dear @iamjericho , after tonight, if anyone ever claims you’re not one of the 5 best wrestlers ever, you have my blessing to murder them.

    @TKeep123 Hmmm…a new life for William Regal as Regal-Dust! Actually looks good! #WWE

    @StrikerSays HAHAHAHAHA THE CROWD WOOOOED WHEN REGAL TOOK OFF THE ROBE.

    @ThingsColeSays Boy, Nexus has really been all over the show tonight.

    The Undertaker vs Kane for the World Heavyweight Championship

    Daniel Bryan vs The Miz for the United States Championship

    The Big Show vs CM Punk

    Jericho vs Cena vs Orton vs Barrett vs Edge vs Sheamus for the WWE Championship – Elimination Six-Pack

    OchoCinco is apparently going to be the ring announcer.  Lovely.  He’s bad at it.

    Randy Orton vs John Cena in a Tables Match

    Orton and Cena pause before the match to evaluate the crowd, apparently, before locking up.  They break apart and listen to the crowd again.  They go to lock up, but Cena gets Orton in a headlock.  They lock up again, and Orton puts Cena in a headlock before taking Cena down with a big shoulder block.  Orton takes advantage, and holy shit that was a good full body shot on Orton.  Orton gets Cena in a corner and gets in a few good shots .  Orton on the apron, and Cena pushes Orton backward, but Orton avoids the table.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @ChandraLooney Ochocinco should never, EEEVVEERR be a ring announcer. He needs an RKO for that. @RandyOrton get on that please.

    @Niki_Sushi @RandyOrton should be registered as a lethal weapon… a big, muscled sling-shot/pinball. #BWF #RAW

    @inkincisions OMFG. PLEASE GET ON WITH THE MATCH!

    Orton and Cena are exchanging shots when we come back before Orton hits a backbreaker on Cena.  Orton keeps the momentum over Cena for now, stomping on him repeatedly.  Orton keeps hitting Cena, who’s on the apron, and nearly knocking him off the apron before Cena gets back in.  Orton is thrown around the ring by Cena now, who suplexes him into the ring floor.  Cena and Orton clothesline one another in the middle of the ring, and are both down again.  Cena lifts Orton as though he was going for the Attitude Adjustment, and then Orton counters with a DDT.  He then pulls a table into the ring, setting it up in the corner.  Orton misses a clothesline, but Cena this some flying shoulder tackles before getting ready for the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  After all these matches, you’d hope that Orton could actually see Cena by now…

    Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and attempts the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton counters with a few moves and stuff happens, and I was interrupted, and Nexus attacks.  They’re all attacking Cena, and Orton RKOs Tarver, only to get attacked by Gabriel, Slater, and Barrett.  Otunga gets an Attitude Adjustment, and Slater is sent outside of the ring and through a table.  Barrett gives Cena a Wasteland, and only Gabriel and Barrett are left in the ring.  The two set up a table.  Barrett lifts Cena as Gabriel goes up to the rope.  Orton shoves him off and through a table, only to be flattened by Barrett.  Cena and Orton are in the ring, Barrett left as the only man standing.  Barrett then lifts Orton, attempting Wasteland until Orton counters and shoves him through the table outside the ring.  Orton looks around, repositioning a table before he drops onto his knees, slamming the mat.  Edge and Jericho come out to the ring and attack Orton.  Orton fights back against both of them, avoiding a Codebreaker and assisting Edge in spearing Jericho into a table set up in the corner.  Sheamus comes in to attack too, delivering a hard hit to Orton’s face before throwing Cena out of the ring too.  Cena hits an Attitude Adjustment on Sheamus before climbing back in the ring.  Orton and Cena are both moving now, and Orton is lifted up, and counters Cena’s Attitude Adjustment at the very last second to put Cena through the table instead.

    Randy Orton wins via RKO through a table.

    Honestly, I think that’s the first RAW in a while that has actually had an ending to the Main Event match.  Anyway, relatively decent RAW, though not exactly all that impressive.  See ya next week!

  6. The War On Everything part One

    1 Comment

    Welcome to the War for another week ..

    Before I begin this week, it seems that other columns on this site are getting rave reviews. Drow wrote a piece on the Casual vs Core wrestling fan, and JT’s Randomness always gets the people talking. Yet, nobody talks about this little piece unless I mention Brett Favre. Now I have, you watch them start talking about the new Viking. Speaking of Vikings, when’s Erik getting a start, or won’t Susan Sarandon let him?

    Speaking of Brett, I am now turned off of SportsCenter’s NFL coverage because of everyone’s man-crush for #4. Hey ESPN, he isn’t that good. Green Bay won’t retire his number because he retires, and then magically comes back every year. He doesn’t do training camp, he doesn’t do any training, and yet everyone comes out and says ‘Oh, he’ll save the Minnesota Vikings, they’re now a superbowl team’.

    First off, I am a better QB than Tavaris Jackson. Secondly, how does poor Sage Rosenfels feel now? He was traded from Houston, after being back-up to Matt Schaub, to Minnesota, in hopes of a starting spot, and yet, it looks like there’d be more of a chance he’d get a starting spot at the Texans, rather than where he is now, due to the Vikings’ obsession with someone whose five years away from adult diapers. Hagar the Horrible has resorted to alcohol, because he is angry, due toVikings signing Favre.

    Not even Asterix can help us against Brett Favre. Or Lorne Greene.

    You wanna know what Hulk Hogan’s doing these days? He’s supporting a fellow has been as this picture shows.

    Although we all know why Brett went to Minnesota, don’t we?

    Finally, I’ll tell you how good Favre is. Two years ago, I won a Fantasy NFL league at Yahoo! I drafted Favre after week 8, when I was 2-6. I won the next nine games, but I had to replace Favre, with Kurt Warner, due to Brett being rubbish. Warner led me through the playoffs, and the championship, whilst Mr. 38 year old at the time, sat on the bench.

    This is the end of Part One, I must calm down. Favre-rage is flowing in my veins.