Tonight’s Smackdown will feature four King of the Ring qualifying matches for the upcoming tournament on Monday Night RAW. It’s nice to see this tournament coming back, but first I have to suffer through Smackdown to see how the story unfolds. It’s also the fallout SD episode after Survivor Series. The outcome of the PPV was all status quo with title defences outside of Natalya’s Diva win.
At least I can post this random animated gif for you:
Hello everyone, I’m here with a RAW Review Insert (because I don’t know what else to call it) to fill you in on what happened last night at the Amway Center, where I was in attendance!
First off, funny story, since I saw that ThinkSoJoE mentioned this last night: We thought it was the Amway Arena too. Turns out, the Amway Arena is closed. So we got to Orlando a ridiculous three hours before the tickets said to show up, and walked around the Amway Arena (and got a picture of a production truck), only to see that it was closed. We had two different sets of directions to go off of, so at least we knew where we were supposed to go. We got there and stood in line for an eternity. I saw someone dressed up as Hogan (who ended up up front, that bastard), and then someone dressed up as The Miz with his old ring gear, flame-decorated fedora and all. I couldn’t get a picture of him because he walked away too fast, but it did make standing in that damn line tolerable.
Minor Superstar Spoilers coming now.
Justin Roberts told us that we were starting out with a match. It was Goldust vs some guy whose name I can’t remember. Orlando LOVES Goldust, just to let you know. Cheered him on loud. It was pretty damn cool. He lost, unfortunately, but he’s… electric in person, to make a bad pun.
King and the new guy for Superstars came out. We all clapped and cheered a little for the new guy, but King got a standing ovation, and after he sat down, some Jerry chants. He laughed and waved. Pretty neat.
Next up was Santino (who got a HUMONGOUS pop) and Vladimir Kozlov (who also got a humongous pop, but Santino’s was bigger). I saw a couple Santino signs floating around, so that was cool. They were up against Ryder and Primo, who were the hated enemies. Pretty good match, and Santino is… crazier in person. Something I learned: Zack Ryder can’t seem to keep his trunks over the very bottom portion of his ass. I’m not sure you needed – or wanted – to know that, but there it is. Santino and Kozlov won after a Cobra, which we continuously called for. Made the night that much better.
Here is where Michael Cole came out, to a series of boos and cheers, and he pointed at one Cole-hating sign and laughed, then pointed at mine, mouthed the words, and laughed too. Apparently, he likes the whole heel-Cole thing. He’s good at it, and seemed to be a pretty decent guy. Justin Roberts told us here that they were going to do the pre-RAW sweep over of the crowd to get signs and what not, so that’s why Cole was there. Then, Cole moved for the new guy.
Usos and Henry were at it again for Superstars. Tamina joined the Usos, but we all seemed to hate them (I like the Usos, but I really wanted to cheer, so I just stuck with what was going on. Minor shame, but I had fun). Mark Henry won that one, painfully, by stacking the Usos on top of one another and then just slamming his whole body weight down on top of the both of them, and then hitting the one who had been on bottom with the World’s Strongest Slam. Night night.
Superstar spoilers over.
Then it was time for RAW!!! We did NOT want Barrett talking. Every time he started, we kept shutting him up. I had to stop at one point from booing him to laugh. I have no idea what he said, except he insulted us once, I think, and continued to look REALLY pissed off as we booed him. The SHUT UP COLE sign you saw behind Cole when he stood up to read the email was mine. J The same one he laughed at. It made me happy.
During this first commercial break, we were shown WWE commercials: Knucklehead, Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania Reading Challenge, Smackdown vs RAW 2011, a Legendary, and the History of the WWE Championship were all the commercials we saw. There was a Kiss Cam, and Josh Matthews did come out to show everyone signs. Those were the only unique things that happened during commercials. Otherwise, I just got to see more of the matches.
CM Punk came out to a HUGE pop here, which is a little surprising. We don’t care that he was a villain on Smackdown, because he provides witty commentary. Sheamus came out to a surprisingly huge pop, and there was a green sign behind Cole that had “IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING LOBSTER HEAD” on top, a white stick figure thing of Sheamus below that, and then “TOO MANY LIMES TOO MANY LIMES” on the bottom. If you saw it, that was me. If not, well… fine then. R-Truth came out to a huge pop too, and I was all confused by the What’s Up song, but I didn’t say anything. R-Truth has run his course with me. Got a bunch of good pictures of Sheamus, btw. His hair’s not as red in person, but he’s just as white. Pretty decent match, crowd was divided on who they were behind though. Oh, and when Sheamus hit the High Cross on Truth, he bounced really, really high. I was stuck giggling and missed the pin, but Sheamus won.
Since the announcers plugged it here, I bought the John Cena experience. Yeah. I did.
We all laughed at the backstage segments. LayCool was booed until Natalya came on, and she was cheered so loud that I missed what she said, but that’s alright. Randy was cheered so I missed his question, but that’s also alright. The crowd seemed excited for the Ezekiel Jackson vs The Miz match, but I was more.
When Alex Riley came out by himself, I wanted to punch him. I admit I laughed at Miz having an anxiety attack (and even harder this morning when I found out that @TKeep123 anticipated I may have kidnapped him… Not this time, Fred!!), but I cheered for Alex. Ezekiel is HUGE in person. I think the guy’s muscles have muscles have muscles. Good match though.
Random note now that I’m thinking about it: To whoever kept screaming at me to put my sign down, screw you honey. I don’t care that you can’t see. That’s what that GIANT screen at the top of the ramp is for. Dumbass.
HUGE pop for Cena. We continued to cheer for him throughout the entire time he was out there, and when he wanted us to do the “Let’s Go Cena” “Cena Sucks” thing, it was even louder in person. I think it echoed even after he stopped it. And @Niki_Sushi texted me practically jumping down my throat to find out what he said here, and he said that it may be bending the censors, but he was already fired, and told Barrett that karma was a bitch. We all cheered for possibly breaking the PG barrier. Cena chants followed him up the ring the entire time. He also mentioned that someone may be having a heart attack that he was going over his allotted time, but we still didn’t care. That actually made us cheer again.
Ted and Maryse came out during the commercial to a huge pop (at least from me). Maryse is SOO pretty in person, and Ted is gorgeous. Gonna say that now. Maryse walked around as Ted paced back and forth, we got another commercial (which screwed me up), and then Daniel Bryan came down with Bella Hoe #1, and got a huge pop from everyone (but me). Pretty good match, and Ted is brutal in person. The Bellas are almost pretty in person (I can’t stand them and they aren’t that pretty to me), and are kind of idiotic. They went to hold the ropes apart for Bryan, but held the bottom ropes, then started for the middle one, then went back to the bottom one. He kind of laughed at them and then went through the middle and top. Boy, they must’ve felt like morons.
Natalya came out to a huge pop, and I only got pictures of the back of her head. The woman is in constant motion. Alicia even got a bit of a pop, and her strut is… it made my hips hurt. Never done that on TV, but did in person. Someone, get her a doctor, please! We all made that, “Oooh, now you gonna get it” noise when she ripped out Natalya’s hair, and I would have died had Natalya retaliated by ripping Ailcia’s off. Good match though. Natalya’s a strong woman.
I have no idea what Melina and Morrison were talking about either. But GOD, Morrison is pretty in person. I think we were more excited about his pyrotechnics than him though, gonna be honest. Tyson got a pretty huge pop too. The Flying Chuck looked hella painful, and Morrison almost missed the ropes, when he jumped the corner there to hit it. Either way, good match.
Randy came out to a huge pop, and we were pissed when Nexus came out to jump him. I actually think that the whole Amway Center collectively gasped and tried to warn him at the same time. He limped backstage, then Barrett came back out and we booed. Then, of course, Randy came back out and we cheered. Great match, and only half of us were sitting. Cena came out and we lost our minds, then Randy hit the RKO and we did again. When Miz’s music hit, I was the only one who cheered, and everyone else booed. Half the arena joined me as Miz picked up momentum, but when he hit the Skull Crushing Finale, we all cheered, though I was louder. I was going to go home pissed if I didn’t see him (haha, no one thought that, I’m sure), but I did! And he won! And he looked like he was going to cry, and I felt so happy I thought I was gonna puke, and it was fantastic.
Look, here’s what I’m saying: If you ever have the chance to go, DO IT! Doesn’t matter where your seats are, just go. It was my first Live RAW, and I’m going to make it to whatever live show I can afford from now on. It was amazing. There was no dark main event match, but they sent me home more than happy.
Oh, and to the upset little girl whose face was shown after, Haha sweetie. Haha.
And a huge thank you to ThinkSoJoE for covering last night for me. You did a great job!! And steal all the images you want. 🙂 That’s what they’re there for.
With Survivor Series on Sunday, this is Smackdown’s last chance to add some fuel to the fire and generate some buys. After the Old School RAW on Monday, most of the card was flushed out. Are there any loose strings? Perhaps. Also, we have some future endeavors to discuss briefly after the jump. (more…)
Hello ladies and gentlemen! The RAW Review is back this week, just as it was last week, and I’m frazzled. I decided to take on the challenge that is National Novel Writing Month, but I’ll suck that up quietly in peace and not bring it to RAW. Anyway, I’ve tucked away all the stuff for that for now, and I am focused on RAW! Just a side note, however, I am going to be missing the November 22nd edition of RAW, for I will be there LIVE when they come to Orlando!! So I may get a late review up on the 23rd or something like that depending on how tired I am. We’ll see how that goes, but why am I jumping ahead!? I have to get through tonight!!
However, before we begin, our very own ThinkSoJoE and Random Redhead’s birthdays are on the same day as Wrestlemania 27 tickets… Just an idea… 😉 There’s your plug, sweetie.
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
We start out RAW first thing with Randy Orton making his way onto the stage and into the ring. He says that he doesn’t think there’s a man alive who could take the title from him, but if someone did, he would accept it, but he couldn’t accept it if he lost it because of a crooked referee. Especially if that crooked ref just so happened to be John Cena. So, he’d like to ask Cena to come out to the ring because if he’s gonna screw Orton over at Survivor Series, the least he could do is be man enough to say it to his face.
BRRRRRRRRRR SLAM THAT DOOR!
Cena walks out and says that he will say something to Orton’s face: cut him some slack. He knows Randy is the WWE Champion, he’s been there before, they both have. Orton’s smart enough to know that championships are won and lost, they come they go, and he has a decision to make at Survivor Series. If Barrett beats Cena at Survivor Series, he’s finally out of Nexus, but if Orton wins, Cena’s fired. And he has to be the guest referee. Cena says that if there’s a situation, if something happens, he doesn’t … He asks if he sees all that chaos on unrest, but he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He’s either free or fired. Orton says that he sees that, and it’s Cena’s bleeding heart way of saying that he is gonna screw Orton over at Survivor Series. Cena denies it, but Orton says that if he does screw Orton over, then he keeps his job, but he’ll be the biggest phony in the WWE. And don’t bother coming out talking about Hustle, Loyalty, Respect, especially respect, because he’s obeying Barrett and disrespecting every champion, including himself. Then, Orton tells him to get out of his ring, because Cena doesn’t deserve to be in it. Orton then apologizes and says that Cena can’t get out of the ring without asking his master for permission. Cena says that they both worked hard to get there, and that Nexus runs the show while Cena gets coffee. Cena says that Barrett may have enough skill to compete for the WWE Championship, but he’s classless, and Barrett’s the one who doesn’t know about respect.
We walk alone, through the unknown…
Nexus – now with their new members McGuillicutty and Harris, make their way onto the stage. Barrett thanks Cena for his kind words, and he gives Cena permission to say whatever he wants about Barrett because actions will speak louder than words, and when push comes to shove, Cena will do exactly what he’s told. And at Survivor Series, Cena will raise his hand as the new WWE Champion. Cena says that all he knows that in three weeks, it’s over. He’s either out of Nexus or, and Barrett says or he’s fired. Cena asks Orton if he can have a second with his boss. Cena says that in three weeks, this thing is coming to a head, and whether he leaves Nexus or leaves the WWE, he’ll leave Barrett a parting gift: when this is all over, Cena will beat the hell out of Barrett. Orton then says that he doesn’t have to wait until Survivor Series, and as far as Orton is concerned, Barrett’s a scared little child who needs to hide behind seven other guys, and he’ll beat on him until the only thing left for Cena to do is count to ten and declare Orton the victor. Barrett starts toward the ring.
“Randy Orton, as the WWE Champion, I feel for the position you’re in. You want to know what Cena is going to do, we all wanna know, so I think we should find out tonight. Later this evening, there will be a main event with Wade Barrett and a partner of his choice vs you, Randy, and a partner of your choosing. And the special guest referee is going to be John Cena.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@CawCawBang Someone’s going to get their head punted in
@thinksojoe No, Michael Cole, you may NOT have my attention. #BWF #RAW
@Niki_Sushi So… was Cole reading the ‘e-mail’ off of Microsoft Word?
@Lunna1969 And I quote, shut the hell up Michael Cole!
We return to WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater in the ring.
WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater vs David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya
So, are these two actually going to split, or is this going to be teased the entire time? Curious… And I may be wrong. I don’t see Natalya.
Kidd and Slater start out, getting good momentum, but Kidd tags – see, punches – Smith in, and Smith dominates Slater. Smith hits the suplex on Slater, going for a cover, but Slater kicks out at two. Smith continues to dominate in the center of the ring, until Slater manages to get behind Smith and Gabriel tags himself in, getting a quick hit on Smith and taking advantage. Slater and Gabriel tag in and out, dominating Smith in their corner. Gabriel gets Smith in the middle of the ring in a headlock, and I see now that Natalya was not out here. Smith hits a scoop slam on Gabriel. Smith manages to get Kidd in, and Kidd gets a good advantage, hitting a neckbreaker before going for a cover, only for Slater to break it. Smith sends Slater flying outside of the ring, and Kidd takes advantage, dropkicking Gabriel out of the ring. Slater shoves Smith into Gabriel, sending Kidd flying into Smith. Slater then distracts Kidd, and Gabriel goes to the top rope and hits the 450 for the win.
WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater win via pinfall.
Smith yells at Kidd for a while, once again teasing the breakup.
Backstage, Cena’s standing there and Truth comes up. Truth says Cena got buck, confusing all of us, and then explains that Cena just stood up for himself. Truth then says when the moment of truth arrives, what is Cena gonna do? He says that he’s Cena’s friend, and Cena walks away.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh Hart Dynasty…ya dun goofed…again
@Niki_Sushi I was all pumped up to see Justin and Heath, but then a couple Harts came out and ruined it for me. Ah, dammit. #BWF #RAW
@seraphalexiel I wanna know when Truth and Cena got so chummy. Did anyone know they were friends before Cena became a slave?
@HitTheRopes Umm, that’s not what “getting bucked” means, R-Truth. #wwe
@kickoutblog I’d really like to see Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel lock up in the future.
The guest star tonight is PeeWee Herman. And just this song is driving me crazy.
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head, too many limes, too many limes!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: John Morrison assists Santino Marella defeat Sheamus.>
Sheamus says that everyone expected him to come out and throw a tantrum over Santino’s loss last week, but Santino didn’t beat him, he beat himself. Santino, he’s given you a week to bask in the glory of his fluke victory, but now he’s gonna pay. So, fella, come out here and try that one more time. And come out Santino does, in street clothes. Santino says that first of all, he would just like to say that he respects Sheamus as a human being. In fact, he is a little bit of a fan of his. Actually, he went trick-or-treating dressed as Sheamus. The only problem is that everyone thought he was a ghost. Sheamus smirks a little. Santino says that it was quite irritating and no wonder Sheamus is so angry. Sheamus isn’t grinning anymore. Santino says last night he consumed too much candy, and bad things happen. So, unfortunately, the doctor said that if he wrestles against Sheamus, he’s going to accidentally throw up in Sheamus’ face. He doesn’t think that anyone wants to see that, but the crowd disagrees. Santino says that he did find Sheamus a suitable replacement.
Yeah, you’re a stoopid boy…
Vladimir comes out and says that Sheamus talks funny. Now, Vladimir crush him. HULK SMASH!
Sheamus vs Vladimir Kozlov
Vladimir gets a good start against Sheamus, getting an early advantage, but Sheamus fights back. Vladimir wastes no time in getting it back, and Santino plays cheerleader for Kozlov. Sheamus gets Kozlov in the corner and gets Kozlov in the middle of the ring, hitting a back breaker and going for a cover. Kozlov kicks out at two, and Sheamus uses some rather Orton-like knee drops to the skull. Kozlov then grabs Sheamus and head butts his chest, going for the cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Sheamus fights back and hits the Brogue kick for the win.
Sheamus wins via pinfall.
Sheamus then gets Santino’s hand under his boot and steps back, only for Santino to scurry out of the ring. Sheamus follows him, and Santino offers Sheamus candy in exchange for safety, then offers to give him money. Sheamus drops the money and continues to stalk Santino. Santino then offers him the credit card, and Sheamus chucks that too. Santino then offers to write Sheamus a check, but Sheamus shoves him backward, and then kicks his stomach. Sheamus lifts Santino, and gets ready to hit the Irish curse, only for Morrison to come to his rescue, kicking Sheamus in the stomach and head. Santino trumpets the fact that he’s okay, and Morrison watches him.
Truth walks up to Orton backstage and Truth says that he’s cool with Orton, but he and Cena are friends. Truth says that he doesn’t like what he saw, and he thinks that Cena’s already made up his mind. Truth says that Cena’s not going to let himself get fired, and he has a funny feeling that Cena’s gonna count Barrett victorious. Orton says that tonight, he’s going to make Truth his tag-team partner. Cena and Orton have never gotten along, but Orton wants to see how he treats his friends. Orton says that tonight, they’re going to find out that Cena doesn’t have any friends.
<COMMERCIAL>
@seraphalexiel Obviously, Truth’s new gimmick is Danny Glover. More hood, less awards
@Niki_Sushi Its a shameful thing, lost my shorts! Too much sun, too much sun! #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes When the Hell did R-Truth become Dr. Phil of the Raw locker room? Stop being an instigator, Truth. #wwe
@ThingsColeSays Hey Truth, who is Wade Barriet?
@FrankWWEClown “Odds are I will eventually throw up…….IN YOUR FACE.” –Santino #WWE #RAW
@bethsharae I’m not entirely positive that R-Truth speaks the English language.
Mark Henry is on the phone with PeeWee and says that things aren’t the same since Evan got hurt, because he’s not just his tag partner, but his friend too. PeeWee says that he felt the same thing with a splinter, and I don’t know what he’s talking about. Henry turns around and says it’s a great story, but he still has to find a tag partner, which is why he’s there to see him. Herman says he’d be glad to be his tag partner. Henry says that Herman is just the man to give him a big hug, and Henry crushes him. Herman says that he knows what may cheer him up, and that’s Diva Twister. The Bellas, Melina, an Eve. Dear, God.
PeeWee says he’s taking some time off from his Broadway show – the PeeWee Herman show – for plenty of surprises, and Lita shows up!, joining them for Twister.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes Thank gawd they introduced the Divas because this segment had *PAUSE* written all over it. #wwe
@kickoutblog Ya know, as much as I love Pee-Wee, it’s probably a really bad idea to play Twister with him. Just sayin.
OH, RADIO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!
Well, Joe, you got part of a Ryder entrance!! That counts, right?
Zack Ryder vs Ezekiel Jackson
Ryder gets a small advantage, and Jackson takes that away without even blinking. Big Zeke wins.
Ezekiel Jackson wins via pinfall.
The main event is going to be Orton and Truth against Barrett and Otunga with Cena as special guest ref!
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Zack Ryder, meet your new pimp. Be sure to shave your legs and wax your bikini line; clients don’t like that shit.
@kickoutblog Ow, Ow, Ow… you know it! #BigZekeWillBreakYou
… PeeWee came out… but now I’m terrified.
Tonight’s secret word is ring. Apparently, we’re supposed to do something. And King is too excited about this. Scream, of course. I must have erased that from my memory. And I totally did just put arrested… Freudian slip.
AWESOME!
Cole welcome us to Miz-ville, and I want to punch him. PeeWee’s making some kind of noise in the mic as Miz climbs into the ring.
Miz says he thought RAW losing at Bragging Rights was the lowest point of the show, but he was wrong. Miz doesn’t like PeeWee – though Riley does – and he always liked He-Man. PeeWee asks why he doesn’t marry He-Man. Miz tells him to get out of the ring, and everyone screams. Riley tells him not to say the secret word, and Miz says that he doesn’t care about the secret word, and he wants PeeWee out of his ring – cue screaming. Miz says that he’s not a cultural icon, just a pathetic excuse for a man. Miz and PeeWee proceed to fight like kindergartners, and Riley says he’ll handle it, but Riley gets in PeeWee’s face and Miz has to stop him. Miz asks if PeeWee is stupid, and says that he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Miz doesn’t care who PeeWee is, and asks if PeeWee wants him to beat him into a pulp, and PeeWee says that he’s shaking, and that PeeWee is starting to get angry. He’s a loner and a rebel. PeeWee says that they should not anger the P. He got his cousin backstage, and Miz mocks him a little bit. Miz says that’s so funny he forgot to laugh, and to bring his cousin and the whole Herman family, because he will destroy them all. PeeWee says that he’ll be out there to wipe the smirk off his face.
WELL, It’s a Big Show!
Show comes out in a PeeWee imitation suit, and I die a little inside. Show double clotheslines Miz and Riley out of the ring and picks PeeWee up. Pee Wee asks if they had a nice trip out of the ring.
“Miz, you’re not getting out of this so easy. You said you’d beat anyone in PeeWee’s family, well, tonight’s secret word is pain. Because you’re going to face PeeWee Herman’s cousin, the big PeeWee, next.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog If Big Show does the Pee-wee Tequila dance, I might have to stop watching wrestling since nothing will ever top that.
@HitTheRopes Okay, who came in and changed the channel. I could have sworn I was tuning in to watch WRESTLING. #wwe
@Niki_Sushi Oh fuck me. This is…. this is horrifying. Even Miz looks embarrassed for Show.
@RingsideRants Jesus, I miss wrestling. #WWE #RIPWrestling
@KKonvictionCom Oh it’s Pee-Wee. Hide yo kids, hide you wives, hide your husbands…cuz he’s rapin errbody up in hurr.
The Miz vs The Big Pee Wee Show
Show dominates Miz, which just hurts my heart even more than- no, less than that last segment. Show Irish Whips Miz, who ducks out of the ring for a moment, climbing back in the ring. Show then returns to dominating Miz, which we all know is because of his movie (alright, alright, I’ll stop being a fangirl. xP), and steps down on Miz’s throat, though Miz comes back, ducking under a clothesline and getting some hits to Show’s knee. Show comes back with a hard hit to Miz, then flips him onto the ground and hits a hard elbow drop. Show goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz looks a little dizzy, but continues to kick at Show’s knee, alternating between his head and knee. Miz hits a dropkick on Show’s knee, finally getting him down to his knees. Miz then gets Show in a headlock, holding it there tight. Show stands up, but Miz holds on, paying for it as Show falls backwards. Miz and Show both make their way to their feet, Show regaining momentum. Show climbs up to the second rope, watching Riley, and then dropping backward, only for Miz to roll out of the way. Miz then goes for the cover, but Show throws him into the ref. Miz attacks Show while he’s down, kicking him in the face before hitting some hard hits and going up to the top rope, aiming to knock Show down again. Miz goes up again, dropping his knuckles on Show’s head, once, and then doing it again for a third time. He goes for the cover, but Show throws him off again. Miz gets Show in a headlock, holding on tight once again. Show struggles to get up to his feet, flipping Miz off him and then clotheslining Miz once, twice, and Irish Whipping Miz and then throwing him over his back. Show makes a train noise and then runs across the ring, getting Miz set up for the choke slam, but Riley distracts Show, who uses the briefcase and gets disqualified.
The Big Show wins via disqualification.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Stand up for WWE, Celebrity Edition.>
Backstage, Cena is talking to Barrett. Barrett says after Cena raises his hand in victory, he wants Cena to clean his locker room: Sweep, mop, and then scrub Barrett’s back. Cena looks over and sees Otunga. Otunga says that Cena won’t be scrubbing Barrett’s back, because he’ll be raising Otunga’s hand. Otunga has more talent than anyone in Nexus, and more than Cena. Yeah, okay, Otunga.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar John Cena’s also gonna shave Wade Barrett’s back and Barrett will purr like a Walrus
@kickoutblog Pee-wee + Big Show + The Miz = wrestling gold
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Goldust and Aksana get married tomorrow night on NXT.>
That may have been a commercial, but it made me grin. Remember, DiBiase has a personal vendetta against Goldust for stealing Daddy’s belt. Which means daddy’s more pissed off.
Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Daniel Bryan
DiBiase starts to get an advantage, but Daniel eats his advantage with his feet. … I don’t know what that meant either. Anyway, Maryse walks over to Cole and says something, and Cole says that he’ll let us know. DiBiase tries to get the advantage away from Bryan, and does so after a hard fight. He gets Bryan in the middle of the ring, holding Bryan in a headlock. Maryse looks like she’s got something in mind, so keep an eye on her Bryan, and not a creepy one. Bryan attempts a LaBell lock in mid-air, but turns it into a cover, twice, and DiBiase kicks out both times. Alright, that staircase flip thing off the ropes was impressive. Bryan pounds the mat as he avoids DiBiase, getting pumped up, and then kicks DiBiase in the chest once, twice, three, four, five, six times. DiBiase counters a jump into a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. DiBiase gets behind Bryan and tries for Dream Street, but Bryan gets him in the LaBell Lock, and DiBiase taps.
Daniel Bryan wins via submission.
DiBiase freaks out on Maryse and says that he can’t concentrate and he needs his title back.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! #LeBellLock
@TheWWETweeter AHAHAH!! David Otunga just said he’s the most talented guy in @TheNexusWWE!! That was hilarious!! ..Oh wait.. He wasn’t kidding..? #WWE #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar #umad Ted. Its Daniel Bryan, there’s nothing you can do
Damn it. LayCool is here. I mean… No, that’s what I meant.
McCool says that she feels that LayCool got off on the wrong foot with everyone and she doesn’t care. They apologize for hurting the WWE Universe. They just need a fresh start, and the more they give, the more people take it the wrong way. Natalya, for example, is what they call special. She’s Canadian, and they’re going to be nice. They say that they’re going to give Natalya another chance at Survivor Series if she beats McCool tonight, but she won’t do that because they’re the best there was, is, and ever will be.
Diva’s Champion Michelle McCool vs Natalya
I really thought Cole was going to say it was time for the most exciting sixty seconds of RAW. I was going to cry a little as I laughed myself to death. Anyway, Natalya gets a pretty good start, but McCool yanks it away from her and beats the shit out of her for a while. Just when it looks like Natalya can’t get back in it, Natalya steals an advantage back and throws McCool into Layla, then moves out of the way so that McCool kicks Layla, and then sneaks a pin in there for the victory.
Natalya wins via pinfall.
We see a heart monitor beeping, and then Freddie Prinze Jr comes up, and says that the someone’s still in a coma, and he’s going to miss the election. Then, we see it’s Vince McMahon?!
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Michelle’s weave met some chlorine, apparently. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Look out, women are actually wrestling on WWE TV. #SignsofApocalypse
@CawCawBang THERE’S NO TIME OUT IN WRESTLING!!!!!
@BrdWrstlngFn As much as I can’t stand these two – I love the gimmick. It works.
@ThingsColeSays Oh God. That can’t be good.
@FrankWWEClown Aw, Layla is crying. How dare you Natalya. #WWE #RAW
@YourBoyDrew Vince..I just saw you at the appreciation show, what happened within that one day? Haha
Freddie talks to Vince and says that at least Linda comes over to visit, and she’s dedicated, even though she spent $50 million on a campaign. I was right. This is the obligatory Linda for Senate segment!! Now Freddie has to break the news that Taker was buried, Nexus is stronger than ever, Cena’s in Nexus, Paul Bearer’s back, Goldust is getting married, and RAW’s being taken over by PeeWee Herman. Vince says next, Freddie’s going to tell him Bryan is US Champion. Right on the money, Vince. Vince pulls off all the stuff keeping him hooked p and says that he has to go to the bathroom. Then again, if his wife can run for Senate, he can run to be the President. Oh, dear God. There’s a Blumenthal sign on Vince’s butt.
Stephanie suddenly shoots up in bed and says that she had the weirdest dream. She asks Triple H to make sure her dad’s still in a coma, and he says yes, and Thank God.
BRRRRRRRRRRRR What the hell is Creative on tonight?
Wade Barrett and David Otunga vs Randy Orton and R-Truth with Special Guest Referee John Cena
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes With the Blumenthal poster on his keister, WWE gave both candidates time in that segment. LOL
@RingsideRants Stay classy, Vince.
@kickoutblog Okay, Vince waking up after hearing his wife spent $50 million was pretty funny. Not digging the free Linda ads though.
@seraphalexiel D: I hate politics too. Go away
@CawCawBang Mr. Mcmahon is Mr. Krabs
@FrankWWEClown Cena would make a great ref if he wasn’t a Superstar, he just pulled out the tag ropes for this match. So vital. Eat that, Chioda. #WWE
@Lunna1969 Super Cena don’t look right in black and white stripes…
@KeepItFiveStar If John Cena destroys R-Truth I will love him for life
@ThingsColeSays Vince McMahon has lost his damn mind.
Otunga and Orton start out, locking up in the middle of the ring. Otunga backs Orton into a corner and beats on Orton for a while. Orton gets out, and hits a shoulder block on Otunga, getting him to his knees before kicking him in the stomach. He then Irish Whips Otunga and runs into an elbow. Otunga tags in Barrett, who gets a clothesline from Orton as he gets in. Cena gets Orton off of Barrett and Barrett takes advantage and rolls Orton up, only for Orton to kick out at two. It happens again, but Barrett tags in Otunga, who eats a scoop slam. Orton and Barrett lock eyes, and Orton drops his knee in Otunga’s face, then follows him out of the ring. Cena tells them to get back in the ring, and Orton goes to throw Otunga into the steps, only for Otunga to reverse it and throw Orton in. Cena tells Otunga to get Orton back in, and he does. Otunga goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Otunga tags in Barrett, who immediately begins stomping on Orton. Barrett gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton gets to his feet and gives Barrett a very hard throw to the mat. Both men are down and work toward their corners, Otunga and Truth tagged in. Truth hits a hard, two hard elbows on Otunga, then throws Otunga down. Otunga Irish Whips Truth, who jumps off the corner and does his fancy dance moves, and goes for a cover, only for Otunga to kick out at two. Truth throws Otunga into the ropes, and Barrett is tagged in. Barrett goes for the cover, but Truth kicks out at two. Barrett Whips Truth into the corner, and Barrett hits a back breaker. Barrett lifts Truth and punches him in the face, then going up to the second rope and missing an elbow drop as Truth moves out of the way. Both men are down, again. Truth tags Orton, but Cena never saw the tag due to Otunga climbing into the ring and distracting Cena. Barrett drags Truth over to their corner and the Barrett tags Otunga in. Otunga slams Truth onto the mat and hits an elbow drop, going for a cover only for Truth to kick out at two. Otunga tags in Barrett, Cena kicks Otunga to the apron, and Barrett beats Truth up a little. Otunga goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out at two, then puts Truth in a headlock. Truth fights back, and the two of them are down in the center of the ring after a double cross body. Otunga tags in Barrett, but Cena misses it because Orton distracts him. As Cena yells at Barrett, Orton hits the RKO on Otunga and takes Barrett out of the ring. Truth then gets the pin on Otunga.
R-Truth and WWE Champion Randy Orton win via pinfall.
For some reason, Truth’s music changes to Randy’s. The sound guys probably realized that playing Orton’s music made more sense since Orton really got them the victory. Either way, we end RAW with an epic staredown between Orton, Barrett, and Cena.
Overall, not a bad RAW, if you take away the scary ass PeeWee segments. See ya next week, ladies and gentlemen.
This is simply an extended reponse to my previous column dealing with the wide-open subject of John Cena. “Bored Wrestling Fans” very own Jana always provides a good read and I thought that her opinions were so great that it’d be a shame not to share them with the rest of you! Couldn’t fit THIS into one measly comment!
—————-
The current anti-Cena attitude can be traced to several factors.
The easy thing to do, which is also incorrect, is to make blanket assumptions, such as “The IWC hates Cena,” or that only women and kids cheer for Cena. Both of those statements are demonstrably false. Show me a fan of ANYTHING today who doesn’t spend time on the internet, researching and seeking to connect with others of like mind. I don’t remember anyone ever claiming that only women and kids cheered for Hulk Hogan back in the 80s, and if it were true for Cena, it would almost have to be true for Hogan. The argument that Hogan was a star in a more innocent time, where older kids and guys would have felt comfortable supporting him, and that we today have already experienced the age of the anti-hero, making the more traditional hero less attractive, doesn’t stand up either. Hogan’s heyday in the 80s was the time of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry, the X-Men comics (which I know were created earlier, but were still very popular), the golden age of hard rock and heavy metal, and a host of other tv, movie, and comic book characters who were as dark, edgy, and of the anti-hero vein as anything that we have today.
Wrestling fans have grown up accustomed to “cool” heels. The nWo holds much responsibility for this, as does DX, the original ECW, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, and the Rock. We’ve almost been trained to be contrary, cheering for heelish characters and booing babyfaces. The example of the Rock is always trotted out, and the comparison has some merit. Rocky Maivia was too goody-goody and boring. The Rock was everything that we wanted to be. Cena was quite popular all around when he first started the rapper gimmick, largely because he was unpredictable on the mic. He would cut down anyone, including Vince McMahon. Nowadays, he grunts and makes rather constipated-looking facial expressions while repeating lackluster catchphrases like “Never give up.” Cena is doing exactly what he is supposed to do by playing the indestructible super hero that every kid loves, but in doing so, he has completely alienated the rest of the audience that is not part of the PG demographic.
This leads me to the next point. Whether it really happened because Linda McMahon decided to run for Senate or not, the shift to the PG product and tightly focused marketing on kids is, to a degree, a very sound business decision. The golden age of WWF in the 80s (I consider the Attitude Era a completely different creature from any sort of “golden age.”) targeted kids. Business boomed. Now those very kids are grown and have their own kids. It’s a basic business concept to “get ’em when they’re young,” and then you have customers for life. It certainly worked before. The problem with catering to a new generation of fans is that the previous generation of fans, who have supported the product with time, money, and passion, feel slighted and even cheated. The resentment and hatred over that is transferred to the company’s poster boy, John Cena. The thing that WWE seems to have forgotten in their new business model is that the kids aren’t paying for anything. Parents and guardians, adults, in other words, have to take the kids to the shows, buy tickets, t-shirts, masks, and all the other merchandise that gets created, and sit through the shows with the kids, both live on on tv. If the parents think that the content is stupid, or embarrassing/insulting to human intelligence, they won’t want to spend the time and money on WWE that they once did. Basically, there has to be something in it for them as well, and WWE is ignoring that.
This ties in with my final point. You were dead-on about having a company that has a bit of everything. That’s why I (and so many others, by the sound of it) feel so disappointed and let down by both WWE and TNA. I wouldn’t mind sitting through a John Cena match if I knew that I would get an Alex Shelley match somewhere else on the card. The most effective and profitable concept for pro wrestling has always been, and always will be, what I call the circus model. It has a little bit of everything, and all of it is good. Comedy acts, like Santino Marella and Hornswaggle. Over-the-top epicness like the Undertaker and Kane. Special attractions like the Great Khali and the Big Show. True tag teams like the Hart Dynasty, the Usos, Beer Money, and the Motor City Machine Guns. Legitimate women’s matches with actual wrestlers like Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Mickie James, Daffney, Sarita, MsChif, and Sara Del Ray. Mat-based technical wow-fests with people like Douglas Williams, Nigel McGuinness, Christopher Daniels, AJ Styles, Davey Richards, KENTA, and Roderick Strong. Powerhouses like Drew McIntyre, Samoa Joe, and Sheamus. Super-athletic high-fliers like Brian Kendrick, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, Justin Gabriel, John Morrison, and Austin Aries. That would be every wrestling fan’s dream.
The company with the broadest appeal does the best business. ROH caters to a very specific audience, and that’s great for that audience. They specifically say that they aren’t interested in the casual fan, and that they provide serious wrestling that has nothing to do with sports entertainment for fans of real pro wrestling. Fine, that’s their thing. The big two aren’t much better. WWE hates tag teams, most of the smaller and more athletic high-fliers, and legitimate female wrestlers who don’t look like Barbie dolls. They focus on children at the expense of the adult audience. TNA prides themselves on being a more adult product, but Eric Bischoff mocks the hardcore wrestling fans and says repeatedly that they don’t matter, that the casual fans were the target audience. As you said, TNA has tried so hard to be WWE that they have lost almost everything that made them different. The X-Division, the six-sided ring, the legitimate Knockouts division, the focus on true tag teams, and the international talent are all gone.
How does all this tie back in to John Cena? While there are a given number of douchebags who have to make sure that everyone knows that they are far too cool to ever like something that is popular or mainstream, most of it, I honestly believe, stems from frustrated and disappointed fans who feel that there is nothing in the WWE product for them anymore. They resent having devoted so much time, money, and passion into something that has essentially ditched them. Because John Cena is the embodiment of the current WWE product, all the negative feelings are transferred to him. Booing and criticizing him is easier than actually getting the desired changes from Vince and the WWE. It’s rather like spending huge quantities of time, effort, and money on dating someone, and then you get kicked to the curb for someone else. Of course you hold that individual up as the epitome of all that is wrong with the world. It’s how human nature works.
Hey, my Peeps! Sorry for the absence as of late. I’m in Colorado at the moment and have been really busy lately. That’s no excuse, but life happens. I’m here today to give you some results from this past week’s WWE Superstars. I understand that some people don’t get the channel that carries Superstars, so here we go.
Match 1: Santino and Kozlov vs The Uso’s
Santino picks up the win for his team with the Cobra on one of the brothers. This is good to see, since Santino has been built as a comical jobber throughout the majority of his career in the WWE. We all know he will continue to be that, but it’s good to see him get a win every once in a while.
Match 2: Darren Young vs William Regal
I’m glad Young is getting some face time here. He has talent, but needs to develop his character now that he is out of Nexus. Regal is in a good spot here with a YOUNGer talent…see what I did there??? Regal gets the win here with the running knee.
Nexus invades Superstars. Wade Barrett says that if Cena doesn’t help him win the WWE Title at Bragging Rights, then he will be fired.
Main Event: Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre vs MVP and Chris Masters
I like the pairing of MVP and Masters. I think they could work out if given the opportunity. This was a good match with Cody Rhodes getting the win with the Crossroads.
Well folks, it’s Monday Night RAW in Calgary! And once again, I reprised my role as a “seat filler” to ensure that the on air product appears to be full and energized (or at least what you good people saw on television). We’ll see if I can hack a wifi connection and get this up tonight. I won’t be recapping everything, just pointing out some stuff I saw that you at home did not. (more…)
Last night was Hell in a Cell! Did John Cena join Nexus? Is Randy Orton still the WWE Champion? Was Daniel Bryan brutally mu-… I’ll leave that one to myself. Find out tonight, as Jackass star, Johnny Knoxville guest stars what is sure to be another amazing Monday Night RAW!
Nexus comes out and talks about their victory at Hell in a Cell. Barrett says the two men who helped were Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, which didn’t surprise anyone. Barrett says he doesn’t know them and they aren’t a part of the Nexus. Barrett then scolds Nexus for going down to the ring and potentially causing him his match. Tonight’s about inducting Cena into Nexus. Please welcome, the newest member of Nexus, John Cena.
He comes out with no music, which is just heartbreaking, to be honest. I’m upset. I wanted to make a joke.
Tarver says the joke is on Cena, because he failed. They have a gift for Cena: The Nexus armband. Cena looks at the arm band and puts it on. Slater says they know the transition’s going to be difficult, but they’re all there for him. The public wants to know exactly what his thoughts are. He says that he will read the official statement they made instead of saying what he wants to. Barrett says it’s not negotiable, and he’ll read it and read it now.
It essentially says that he acknowledges that he’s a member of Nexus, and an enemy of Nexus is an enemy of his. Barrett says that Cena has to participate in a tag match with a partner of his choice against Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. Cena picks Tarver.
Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. John Cena and Michael Tarver
Cena starts off the match with an offer to shake Bourne’s hand, and they do. Tarver’s pissed about it, but Cena doesn’t look like he cares. Cena then tags in Tarver and climbs out.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar HEY! Where’s your Nexus Shirt Cena?! There’s a dress code damn it! Put it on!
@seraphalexiel I hope both men don’t suddenly get to join. The end of Season 2 was a failure for a reason, and it begins and ends with McGuillicutty
@Niki_Sushi Awwww. His own wittle armband. Are they slowly going to give him different parts to the ‘uniform’ or what? #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes Geez, Cena sure likes to pick on the black Nexus guys. Wasn’t content with getting rid of your brother, now he’s going for Tarver. LOL #wwe
@CawCawBang Cena got something planned I don’t like it
@TKeep123 I wonder if Cena gave any secret signals while he was forced to read his (confession) speech. (Viet Nam era folks will get it.) #WWE #RAW
We come back to Tarver getting his ass handed to him by Henry. Cena really doesn’t seem interested in helping Tarver at all, to be honest, even mockingly reaching for a tag. Tarver manages to get toward Cena for a tag, but Cena leans away, and Henry seems amused by it, toying with Tarver. Tarver goes to tag Cena again, but Cena jumps down off the ring and begins signing signs in the crowd. Henry picks up Tarver and hits him with the World’s Strongest Slam.
Mark Henry and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.
Cena takes a mic after the match and says that he’s gonna make his own statement. As the newest member of Nexus, he plans on doing one thing and one thing only: destroying it from within. Like no one expected that. Tonight, he proves that you can be Nexus and against us. He hits Tarver in the head with the mic, and then body slams Tarver onto the steel steps. Twice. Then he gets Tarver back in the ring and locks in the STF.
“The terms of the stipulation for your match with Wade Barrett stated that if you lost, you must join the Nexus. Now, Nexus is clearly a group that takes direction from its leader, Wade Barrett. And thus as a member of the group, John, you must also take direction from Wade Barrett. If you don’t, as much as I would hate to do it, as much as it would be bad for business, as much as the WWE Universe would despise it, I would have no alternative but to terminate your WWE contract. Mr. Cena, no one man, despite his popularity, is bigger than WWE. In other words, Mr. Cena, I will fire you.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@FrankWWEClown And who says Cena is boring, and not interesting? Are you watching this?! #WWE #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar Cena’s looking at this all wrong. The Nexus have a great benefits package. Family picnics, BBQs, and other fun Nexus activities.
@HitTheRopes We CLEARLY see Michael Cole reading from a paper and NOT the computer screen. #fail #wwe
@TKeep123 For months we can’t keep #NEXUS away from the ring, and now Tarver gets a beat-down and NO NEXUS to be found? #WWE #RAW
@Niki_Sushi Tarver is in Soul Sucking Position! YOU BETTA HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE! #BWF #RAW
@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay. Say what you want marks but John Cena has the best fans. So devoted. I actually love that they chanted ‘Never Give Up’ #WWE
Alicia Fox vs Natalya
No warning on this one at all, but good to see Natalya in the ring. Natalya hits the sharpshooter pretty quick, and Alicia taps. Great 30 second match.
Natalya wins via submission.
WTF? 30 second match, 30 second reminder of the guest star, Johnny Knoxville, and now five minutes of commercials.
<COMMERCIAL>
@RingsideRants That wasn’t even long enough for a bathroom break!
@CawCawBang wow that was quick
@kickoutblog My thoughts on Natalya vs. Alicia are longer than the actual match
@redsandman99 The good news is, Nattie won. The bad news is, the match was over in five seconds
@JoeyStyles What a match for Nattie…and I thought I finished fast.
Knoxville is talking with Gail and Melina, promoting Jackass 3D. Zack Ryder comes up, and Knox calls him a tool. He offers Ryder a high-five, only for him to get the shit smacked out of him by a giant hand. Knox mocks him a little.
Cena’s backstage with the Nexus armband again, and Josh Matthews comes up, asking what he’s gonna do. Cena says he doesn’t know. Cena suddenly takes off running after Husky and McGuillicutty, and Barrett says that there’s a lot he needs to talk about, concerning his future.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 FIRST time I was ever happy to see Zack Ryder during a Promo! “You know it!”…. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville just wtfpwn’d Zack Ryder without even getting in the ring. I DEMAND WEE-MAN VS HORNSWOGGLE DAMMIT!!!! #BWF #RAW
@legendkiller515 damn zach ryder got his ass kicked and he aint even in a match #wwe #bwf #raw
Daniel Bryan is in the ring with his crazy ass music. God, I wanna punch him.
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head! … Too many limes, too many limes!
United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
Sheamus beat the shit out of Bryan. Not even kidding.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via disqualification.
I think. Sheamus hits the High Cross on Daniel after beating the hell out of him. Sheamus climbs out of the ring and starts back up the ring. Dear, God. Was RAW booking only Nexus and Cena tonight? This is ridiculous.
Anyway, Edge makes his way to the ring to supposedly apologize to the computer.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Oh. Damn. Forgot this fruit existed. Daniel Bryan, go awa-nevermind. GO SHEAMUS GO! #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Oh God, it’s the battle of wrestlers who don’t tan!
@KeepItFiveStar Did Daniel Bryan fail a Wellness test or something? Did he piss the Vegan police off? That was weird.
@Niki_Sushi OMFG! Who put a wrestling match in my commercials?! #BWF #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar “And THAT’s for fulfilling your indy dates while under contract!” – Sheamus after destroying Daniel Bryan
And a Video Package of what we just saw, like fifteen seconds ago. Jesus Christ, RAW. I get that Cena joining Nexus is a big deal, but there are other Superstars…
Oh, God, Michael Cole’s in the ring. He’s now going to speak for the General Manager. I guess Stephen Hawking got pissed at the WWE for using his voice. Supposedly, it’s because of the events of the last few weeks, and will now communicate via email. So, the GM hates us all, is what I’m getting.
Awesome.
Before Edge comes out, the GM wants us to see the hilarious, I’m sorry, horrific events of last week.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Edge WTFPWNS the GM.>
The destruction of the GM last week was unacceptable. Two things are going to happen: Edge is “going to apologize”, and the GM will make a huge announcement regarding the WWE Championship.
You think you know me…
Edge, of course, says he won’t apologize. He’s on a personal crusade against all things stupid, and around here, there are a lot of things that are stupid. Michael Cole has been the personification of stupid since 1997. He’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole. And if the GM thinks he has attitude, then when Edge becomes WWE Champion, then he’ll see attitude. The GM says that tonight they will decide the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship in a 20-Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royale. Don’t expect me to keep up with that. The winner will face Randy Orton at Bragging Rights. Edge, however, has disrespected the GM one too many times, and won’t be in the battle royal tonight, because the GM has officially traded him to Smackdown.
Edge says it’s the greatest night of his career, because he now doesn’t have to listen to a computer, or this tool say, “And I Quote.” Cole flips out, and everyone boos him. Yeah, good job Cole. Cole says that now that he’s the official voice of the WWE, Edge needs to treat him with respect. Edge asks if he went off RAW after spearing Cole into next week would be respectful.
AWESOME
The Miz and Alex Riley make their way down to the ring. Miz says that Edge will do no such thing. Cole is a visionary, the one person that realized Miz’ awesomeness before anyone else. Cole leaves the ring, tripping. Miz tells him to go back to the announce table. Edge calls Miz an Edge-wannabe. Edge then goes through the checklist of Edge. Miz says that that was an interesting analysis, but they’re nothing alike. Edge says that he’s right, because Edge has been WWE Champion, and has been married, divorced, had a live celebration. He hasn’t even seen Miz talk to a woman, unless you count Alex Riley. Riley says that whether Edge likes it or not, Miz is the future of the WWE. Edge says that Miz is awesome at tapping out to Daniel Bryan.
Miz says that if Edge is trying to agitate Miz, it’s not working. Miz is either going to be competing in a WWE Championship match, or leading RAW into decimating Smackdown. So, why doesn’t Edge go to SyFy and tell all his new Smackdown buddies that he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.
Edge then attacks Miz and Alex Riley, Spearing Alex Riley, only to get a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz.
Cena backstage with Nexus, and Barrett says that Cena did him a favor in attacking Tarver. He wants Cena to help him with tonight’s battle royal. Cena asks what happens if he wins, and Barrett says that he’s ordering Cena to help him win. Otunga sticks his foot in his mouth and gets berated for it, and then tells Cena to either do as he’s told or get fired.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Michael Cole has to stand on a box to be seen? #WWE #RAW #BWF
@seraphalexiel Fool. Hide yo paper, at least.
@TKeep123 “I’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole!” – Edge #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi That’s….. three or four laptops now? I seriously hope that’s included in the budget… I don’t think Nextel makes laptops. #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes Hey Otunga, know your role and shut your mouth. #wwe
@bethsharae I love Edge’s crusade. I shall join him. I now destroy all things stupid. #Raw #WWE
Oh, fuck me running… It’s the Bellas.
Nikki and Brie Bella vs. The Unified Divas Champions LayCool
Jesus Christ, someone put a mic on LayCool. My head hurts bad enough right now… I have no idea what the fuck is going on, okay? I don’t even care anymore. Oh, and there goes the Switcheroo again. Someone kill me. Seriously.
Nikki and Brie Bella win via the same old shit… er, pinfall.
Maryse is backstage, talking to Knox. He says that he doesn’t speak Spanish, and she accuses him of sending the messages. Ted then walks up and accuses him too, and Ted walks right into the huge hand. Maryse throws her shoes at Knox, and then Maryse is hit by the hand and lands right on top of Ted. Knox is apologizing repeatedly, and then runs away from a very pissed looking Ted.
<COMEMRCIAL>
@StrikerSays Are you serious. You just put the BELLAS over your champion. What is this fuckery.
@KeepItFiveStar This match is already longer than Natalya vs Alicia Fox
@ThingsColeSays They have found a way to make LayCool ever more annoying. Well done.
@inkincisions WHAT IS UP WITH DIVAS AND THROWING SHOES ?!?!?!?!?!
@divadirt LMAO! Maryse continues the shoe-throwing trend only to get hit by a giant hand. There’s a very un-PG joke in there somewhere. #WWE
@legendkiller515 that big ass hand is funny #wwe #raw #bwf
<VIDEO PACKAGE: R-Truth and Eve Torres defeat Maryse and Ted DiBiase two weeks ago; the secret admirer messages start.>
Please welcome the guest star of RAW, Johnny Knoxville. Oh, Jackass 3D is in theaters October 15th. Yes, let’s put Knoxville in the ring. Because that went so well last time.
Knoxville’s talking really fast, is obviously freaked out by DiBiase coming after him, and tries to leave before he does. Too bad, because he’s here…
Knox says that he was just trying to make Maryse laugh, like Ted does… And proceeds to make a fool out of himself. Then smacks the taste out of Knox’s mouth. Then, it looks like he’s trying for Dreamstreet, but Knox just lays there like a limp noodle. Another message comes over the tron: You are mine. Goldust attacks DiBiase, and Maryse just stands there.
Goldust then tells DiBiase he doesn’t want him, obviously, and walks over to Maryse, who seems to be trying hard not to laugh. He does, however, say that he doesn’t want Maryse. What he wants, is the Million Dollar Belt. Only Goldust would send love notes to a belt. Seriously.
Next up: The 20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal.
Here are all the guys I think I saw. I’ll fix it as I can:
John Cena, Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz, William Regal, David Otunga, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Zack Ryder. That’s all I managed to catch, but I’ll do the best I can.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes It’s amazing how great Raw started and where we are now. #wwe
@kickoutblog OMG IT IS GOLDUST! HE WANTS THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE!
@ThingsColeSays Hey Johnny, there’s a new joke going around have you heard it? What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAPPPPPPPPPP!
@StrikerSays So happy for the return of BIZARRE Goldie. He had dialed down to just “odd.”
<VIDEO PACKAGE: WWE Superstars and Make A Wish.>
King and Cole remind us that a shitload of stuff has happened… if you’ve been watching, you know. If not, scroll up. I’m tired of repeating the same shit.
And Cena’s backstage, brooding over the arm band. Otunga walks up and says that he knows he’s upset. He wants to tell Cena that Nexus isn’t all bad. Barrett is a bit demanding sometimes, but deep down, they can make it work. Cena may feel like this is the end, but it’s not. If Cena ever needs to talk, Otunga’s there for him. Just let him know.
Cole opens his mouth and reminds us of what we’ve already seen. It’s okay, Cole. I have the memory of a goldfish. Thanks a bunch, man.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho last week.>
Twenty Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal
Fuck keeping up with this, so here’s who in the damn match. I’ll just tell you who wins, because it’s easier.
Participants: John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, David Otunga, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Darren Young, and Primo.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar CENA! WHERE’S YOUR SHIRT! You had time!
@bethsharae …. Truth doesn’t get to sing anymore?! HELL YES!!! #Raw #WWE
@HitTheRopes Otunga, don’t you pay attention!? Darren Young, Michael Tarver. What do they AND you have in common? Stay far from Cena. LOLZ #wwe
@legendkiller515 once again no one understands what the hell r-truth is saying in his damn songs #wwe #raw #bwf
Found all the damn contestants. I don’t know what’s going on… Don’t make me figure it all out. Cena eliminated Otunga, and now Barrett yells at him for it. Nexus just argues in the middle of the ring, and no one is aware of it, apparently. God, idiocy.
<COMEMRCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Why is Mark Henry asking why? Did he not see the first 10 minutes of the show?
@HitTheRopes I always wish for something unexpected like Santino to win something like this. #wwe
@kickoutblog Why the hell is Darren Young in this match?
@Niki_Sushi I look up to see Nexus, and totally went ‘GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!’ #BWF #RAW
@legendkiller515 this is the oddest collection of #raw superstars for a battle royal ive ever seen. most of them dont belong in this match #wwe #bwf
I don’t’ know what I’m supposed to say. The outcome was obvious.
Wade Barrett wins.
But, cutting his victory celebration short is none other than the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, who makes his way right up to the ring and right inside, like Barrett ain’t nothing. Which, he probably isn’t. Insert epic staredown, Randy holding up the title, and thus, RAW ends.
Proud of myself for getting this finished for you all tonight, even with a headache and some weird ass dizziness. Anyway, until next week!
I’m back this week with WWE Superstars. What happened? Let’s find out.
Match 1: Primo vs JTG
Primo gets the win with the Backstabber. Interesting to see Primo get a win on TV when he wasn’t anywhere to be seen for months.
Match 2: Goldust vs William Regal
Goldust gets the win with the Final Cut. There is no point in these two feuding with each other. The only way these two are effective is when they are building up somebody else. I just don’t understand the usage of them right now.
I know it’s been a while since I did a RAW review, and I’m sorry. But! I finally have my laptop back, the storm that was here that I thought was going to prevent me from doing this has passed, and I’m in a pretty damn good mood! So, without any further ado, let’s get this thing done, shall we?!
Nexus is already standing in the ring as RAW comes on the air. Barrett says that it is fitting that tonight’s RAW is in D.C., the site of so many historic rallies and speeches. Last week, Barrett said that the Nexus would do something that would be talked about forever, and that’s exactly what happened. They single-handedly, systematically destroyed a WWE institution: The Undertaker.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Nexus attacks The Undertaker.>
Otunga says that attacking the Undertaker should put to rest any doubts about the Nexus, and they are the new Phenoms of the WWE. They trimmed the fat with Young, lost Sheffield to injury, and still managed to have the greatest night of their lives. Tarver says that if anyone had done anything as unprecedented, no, if anything could do it, then they would probably sit back and savor that moment for the rest of their lives. But not Nexus. T hey weren’t finished. Later that night, they took out five of RAW’s top Superstars. Matter of fact, Edge and Jericho were so scared, they took themselves out of the match because they wanted nothing to do with Nexus. You know what happened next. Heath says that what happened next was that Slater pinned Sheamus. He repeats this for the people in the cheap seats.
Justin takes the mic and tells him to calm down and well done. But he’s done something more impressive: who in the WWE can say they’ve delivered their finisher to Undertaker and Cena in the same night? He can. First, he hit the Undertaker with a 450. And then later, the same night, he did it again.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Gabriel hits 450 Splash on John Cena and eliminates him.>
What was that, the third time Gabriel’s hit that on Cena? Every time he hits it, it gets more and more satisfying. Cena can see Gabriel, crashing down on his lifeless body over, and over, and over, and over again. Barrett takes the mic back and says that after all that, he personally de-venomized the Viper. He pinned Randy Orton, and that’s just a taste of what’s to come in the WWE. In two weeks, at Night of Champions, he will beat Orton, Cena, Sheamus, Jericho, and Edge to bring the WWE Championship to the Nexus. Mark his words, it will be historic, it will be ground-breaking, and it will be everything he has said-
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
Randy walks onto the stage, a mic in hand. He asks if they want to know what he took away last week. The fact that he took out two of Nexus in less than thirty seconds, but Barrett’s not gonna roll footage of that, is he? Don’t worry, Orton will just do it again. He doesn’t care who he has to pin at Night of Champions to win the title, but rest assured, he’s going to make it his business to hit Barrett with an RKO. Barrett says it’s real tough, and says that if he wants to be a tough guy, he can come in the ring to try to give him an RKO. Randy starts a little down the ramp.
And I quote: “Last week was indeed a historic night for Nexus, as a unit. But tonight, we’ll find out how some of the members fare individually. Tonight, for the first time ever, the master of the 450 Splash, the South-African Sensation, Justin Gabriel, will face John Cena. In addition, Randy Orton, you won’t have to wait until Night of Champions to see if you can hit an RKO on Wade Barrett, because tonight, for the first time ever, the former Bare-Knuckle Champion, the fearless leader of Nexus, Wade Barrett, will go one on one with Randy Orton. Oh, and gentlemen, one more thing: To insure that both matches are fair, Nexus is banned from ringside tonight.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar It took Randy Orton a few years, but he finally found his smile. I think Shawn Michaels is still looking for his.
@RingsideRants This anonymous Raw GM thing has run its course. Time to reveal who it is, which will likely be a disappointment.
Break the walls down!
And I quote: “Last week, when Chris Jericho and Edge took themselves out of the main event, it was a slap in the face to the WWE Universe as well as to me, the general manager, thus there will be appropriate consequences. Thus, if Chris Jericho and Edge do not win their respective matches, they will be taken out of the six-pack challenge at Night of Champions. And Chris Jericho, your opponent, is this man.”
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!
Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison
Jericho takes early control over Morrison, throwing him around the ring. Morrison gets a close cover, but Jericho kicks out. Jericho misses, and Morrison goes for another failed cover. Jericho knocks him down and goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Jericho throws Morrison out of the ring and begins yelling at Cole and Lawler, asking who the GM is.
<COMMERCIAL>
@bethsharae So Jericho vs Morrison… does this mean Edge vs Truth later? Because you know they treat Morrison and Truth like twins. #Raw #WWE
@_MFS_ Do they really expect me to believe Jericho is going to lose to Morrison? Cause I’m not buying it for even a second #WWE #RAW #BWF
We come back to Jericho holding Morrison in the ring in a headlock. Morrison fights out, but Jericho keeps the control, dropping Morrison back on the mat. Jericho pins, but Morrison kicks out at two. Jericho continues to question as to who the general manager is before going back to beat Morrison. Morrison gets momentum back and drops Jericho with a couple of clotheslines, and then a spinning kick, backbreaker, cover. Jericho kicked out at two. Morrison hits Jericho with a couple of hard kicks, and Jericho attempts to go for Walls of Jericho. Jericho drops Morrison after that, and Jericho misses a Lionsault. Morrison hits a flash kick and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho drops Morrison face first onto the mat, and nearly this the Codebreaker, but Morrison holds onto the ropes. Morrison attempts the running knee, but Jericho moves and goes for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out. He hits Morrison with an insagari and goes for another cover, only for Morrison to kick out. Jericho smacks Morrison around a little bit, mocking him as well, before Irish Whipping him across the ring and running shoulder first into the pole. Morrison misses with Starship Pain, and Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho. Morrison fights toward the ropes, grabs the bottom rope. Jericho lets go and yells at the ref before kicking Morrison out of the ring. He lures Morrison up to the top rope and goes for a suplex, but Morrison knocks him out. Morrison hits Starship Pain and pins Chris for the victory.
John Morrison wins via pinfall.
Jericho is now out of the main event at Night of Champions, and he stays in the ring for a minute after the match. He climbs out of the ring and sits on the steps for a minute, before he walks up the ramp. The crowd has started a Y2J chant as he walks up.
Later tonight, Justin Gabriel will take on John Cena for the first time ever, and Randy Orton and Wade Barrett will square off.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar I know the Danielson fans will disagree but, Chris Jericho truly is the Best In The World.
@Niki_Sushi So… just watching @IAmJericho almost made me bawl. He’s one of the few people that can, just by being silent.
@dasharpshooters “I KNOW YOU KNOW!” #wwe #raw #bwf
Diva’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox for the Diva’s Championship
Alicia comes out with the mic and says that Melina wont’ be competing at Night of Champions, because if anyone’s going to be the “undefined” champion of divas, it will be her, and not Melina. I think Alicia went to leave at some point, and Melina just yanked her ass back in the ring. But, as I expected, Melina retains with that Sunset Split thing she does.
Diva’s Champion Melina retains via pinfall.
Miz looks at something underneath a cover, and says that tonight is all about The Miz. Josh goes to look and Miz smacks his hand, before telling him to get away from him. Miz says that tonight, everyone will see the Road of Awesome.
<COMMERCIAL>
@_MFS_ The ‘Undefined’ champion? Really? They let her have a mic why? #WWE #RAW #BWF
@dasharpshooters Alicia Fox, people one follow you on twitter so they can laugh at your botched lame tweets. #wwe #raw #bwf
@HitTheRopes It’s okay Alicia, you can be my undefined champ any day. #wwe
@IAmJHPunk I wanna be the UN……defined CHAMPION! #wwe #raw #bwf
@seraphalexiel At Night of Champions, it’ll be Alicia Fox vs Jeremy Piven for the Undefined Championship. Piven wanted to do Summerfest, but alas
Backstage, Edge and Ryder are talking. Edge says that Jericho lost and he shouldn’t have to give up his spot. Edge says that he shoved the ref because he was saying derogatory things under his breath about Edge’s mom, and Edge loves his mom. Ryder says that he loves Edge’s mom too, and he should be Edge’s opponent tonight. Edge says that it’s great because Ryder sucks. Edge says that he wants the general manager to accept Ryder’s challenge, and if he doesn’t, then he’s going to have major problems with his top superstar. And, if Ryder’s music doesn’t play, then the computer is going to be smashed into a million pieces.
Ted is talking to his mom on the phone and Maryse comes in. She says me too, and he asks what’s going on. Maryse says that she went to get her purse and found his note. The note says ‘I want you so bad’, and Ted says he didn’t write it. Why would he write it when he could just tell her, and how would she know it’s for her? What if it was for him? She starts going off in French and he says no French, and he doesn’t understand her. Then, she keeps going, and he says he’s walking away.
Up next, Justin Gabriel takes on John Cena.
<COMMERCIAL>
@ThingsColeSays LOL. DiBiase on Maryse speaking French: “We talked about this!”
Next week, RAW Roulette returns for the first time in nearly three years, apparently. Awesome.
Justin Gabriel vs. John Cena
Gabriel and Cena lock up, but Cena just flings Gabriel away from him. Cena seems to be mocking Gabriel a little, but Gabriel gets him in an armbar, only for Cena to turn it back on him, getting him in a headlock between his thighs. Cena smacks Justin’s chest before letting him go, and Gabriel gets some sharp hits in, taking momentum back. Cena starts to get momentum, but he runs right into an elbow from Gabriel and Cena is outside the ring. Gabriel went for a cover, but Cena kicked out at two. Gabriel this him a few times, and goes for another cover, but Cena kicks out again. Gabriel throws himself into Cena and then hits a cross body into a cover, only for Cena to kick out at two. Gabriel hits a Russian leg sweep, then locks a submission on Cena. Cena lifts Gabriel, but Gabriel counters once more, going for a pin, only for Cena to kick out at two after a gut wrench power bomb. Gabriel went for a moonsault, but Cena moved out of the way. Shoulder knockdowns turn the tide of the match in Cena’s favor before Cena sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He hits it, and gets Gabriel up on his shoulders, only for Gabriel to hit another leg sweep, dragging Cena to the corner. Gabriel goes up, but Cena is on his feet and hitting Gabriel. Cena climbs up and hits an Attitude Adjustment from the ropes, covering Gabriel for the win.
John Cena wins via pinfall.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Exclusive preview at Legendary.>
<COMMERCIAL>
@RingsideRants I take back what I said about Gabriel. He’s pulling out some nice moves tonight.
AWESOME!
Miz is in the ring, along with the easel with a drape. Miz says his name is Mike Mizanin, and he has no right to be there. At least, that’s what he was told six years ago, when he was a reality TV star. So, he had to start at the bottom to make his way up to the top, starting out on Tough Enough. He started hearing the voices of Superstars while on Tough Enough, of legends, of fans, asking why he was there. The fact was, Miz refused to leave, of cave into the pressure, and he moved on. He did whatever he had to do get a job. He became the host of Smackdown. He says he could have done better, but the voices just got louder. Instead of asking him to leave, they were telling him to leave, saying he had no talent, there’s no respect for him, that he didn’t belong. Then he formed Be Jealous, and everyone said that he was riding Morrison’s coattails, and if they split, Miz would be gone. But, they did split, and Miz became the United States Champion. But, it still wasn’t good enough, and they called it a fluke. Then, he became Mister Money in the Bank. So, the man that was shunned, can be looked at as the biggest star in the entire company, which leads him to the drape. He asks for a drum roll, and pulls off the cloth to reveal his WWE Magazine cover.
Why is this such a big deal? Because as a child, Miz bought every issue. He’d put them in his bedroom, and dream of getting the cover. Now, it’s happened. Now that it’s happened, he wants to hear it, from the kids, the men, the women, from every single person in the arena. He wants them to stand up, and admit that they were wrong. Miz says he’s the poster child, not Cena, not Orton, him. They can’t deny it, they can’t hide from it. Everyone watching has no choice but to admit that we were wrong, because he’s the Miz, and he has earned the right to say he’s awesome.
Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring. Daniel says hi, and that his name is Daniel Bryan. He tells him to relax and says he’s going to congratulate Miz. They have a lot in the common. No one ever thought Daniel would make it, and Miz says that he hasn’t made it, and hasn’t accomplished anything. Daniel says he’s right. He’s clearly not the superstar Miz is. He just came out to generic rock music not even he can identify, he has a $10 haircut, and he has to show security his ID three times in his wrestling gear to stay. He says that he knows if he faces Miz for the United States Championship, he can beat Miz. Miz agrees that Daniel paid $10 for the haircut, but nothing makes Daniel worthy of facing him for the title. Daniel says that if that match did happen, then next month’s magazine may have a cover of Daniel making Miz tap. Daniel says he can beat Miz, he can make him tap out, and he can become the next United States Champion. Miz says that he doesn’t’ like Daniel, he’s never liked him. Daniel says that he can beat Miz? Miz can annihilate Daniel. Daniel says enough. Him and Miz, United States Championship match, yes or no. Miz says yes. Daniel says excellent, and thanks Miz. Miz thanks Daniel instead, and then Daniel attacks Miz. However, Alex Riley comes in and attacks Daniel. Miz goes to hit Daniel with the briefcase, but Daniel flips him out of the ring, and makes Alex tap.
Daniel then looks at Miz’ cover, running a finger down it. He then kicks it over, smirking at Miz as he does.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi So… am I the only one that thinks Daniel Bryan looks like a registered sex offender? #RAW #BWF #shouldicallthecops
@bethsharae I really though Riley was Cole at first… #WWE #Raw
@TKeep123: Daniel Bryon, $10 for that haircut was STILL TOO MUCH! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@dasharpshooters Daniel Bryan: “YES I CAN” #wwe #raw #bwf
You think you know me…
Next week, John Cena will face either Randy Orton or Wade Barrett.
Edge vs The Great Khali
Before the match, Edge makes his way over to the computer after Khali makes his way to the ring. He stands next to it for a while, but he leaves it alone and gets back in the ring. The bell is rung, and then Edge rolls out of the ring, mocking Khali, who obviously doesn’t get it because he’s grinning. He jumps back in the ring to break the count, then goes back out and continues his mockery. He grabs Ranjin, only for Khali to grab him. Khali starts chasing Edge up the ramp, and Edge attacks his knee before running back to the ring, making it in the ring. Khali didn’t.
Edge wins via count out.
And I quote: “Edge, I refuse to acknowledge your cheap count out victory. Therefore, I am restarting this match, and it will now be a no disqualification, over the top rope challenge.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Edge with the “Smackdown vs RAW 2010 I don’t wanna play this match so I’m gonna win as quick as possible” victory
@FrankWWEClown Where the hell is @ZackRyder?!?! I call blasphemy! This isn’t fair! I won’t be able to sleep tonight! WHY, WHY, WHY?! #WWE #RAW
@bethsharae …. We get a complete Truth free Raw? #WWE #Raw Please don’t let me have jinxed it..
The ref restarts the match, and Edge is taking a beating from Khali right away. Khali smacks Edge and Edge looks pretty wounded by it. Khali throws him into the ropes, and Edge slides under the bottom rope to get out of the ring. Khali, on the other hand, climbs over the top rope, and throws Edge back into the ring. Lawler points out that this means, technically, that Khali eliminated himself. Edge goes for a spear on Khali, but Khali stops him and throws him between the top and middle rope. Khali goes to get over, and Edge yanks him down by his ankle for the victory.
Edge wins via over the top rope.
Still to come, Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar This is why you should go back to India, Khali. Cause you can’t follow simple ass instructions.
@TKeep123 Y2J gets Morrison….and Edge gets….The Great Stumbling Khali ??? Jericho…you was robbed! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Fullmetal_Ninja: #WWE #RAW When Michael Cole can point out your botch you know you fail. #RAW #FAIL
Night of Champions Rundown!
Kane vs The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship
The Miz vs Daniel Bryan for the United States Championship
Sheamus vs Randy Orton vs John Cena vs Edge vs Wade Barrett for the WWE Championship
LayCool vs Melina for the Unified Women’s Championship
Chris is staring backstage at something and Josh Matthews comes up to ask some questions. Jericho doesn’t answer. Last week, Chris said that if he didn’t become the WWE Championship at Night of Champions, he’d leave. Since he lost his spot in that match, what are his future plans? Jericho says nothing. Josh thanks Jericho for his time, and Jericho doesn’t even move. Morrison sits next to Jericho afterward, and says, “Bad day, huh?” Morrison asks if he still thinks he’s the best in the world at what he does, and tells him not worry and that things will get better. Jericho turns to stare at Morrison. Morrison asks if he understands what he’s saying to him right now.
Sheamus makes his way to the ring to watch the match that’s coming up.
<COMEMRCIAL>
@YourBoyDrew #DEAD at Jericho’s face…yo I’m cryin right now
@TKeep123 Chris Jericho and John Morrison post match seated exchange….Priceless! (Morrison should have offered him a LifeSaver!) #WWE #RAW #BWF
Sheamus, John Cena, and Edge are all on commentary on this match, so I don’t know how well I’m going to be able to keep up.
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
The match hasn’t started, and Edge and Sheamus are already arguing. Hilarious.
Randy gets a good momentum on Wade pretty early, hitting some pretty hard-looking hits. Randy brings Barrett to the announce table and slams his head against it. He gets him back into the ring and continues to dominate Barrett. Barrett gets the momentum back on his side with a big boot to the face. Camera man, back to the match thanks. Barrett dominates Orton for a bit with some hard stops, before he begins punching Orton in the face. Barrett drops Orton in a neckbreaker and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Barrett keeps Orton in a headlock for a bit, but Orton drops Barrett onto the mat. Barrett gets a cover, but Orton kicks out. Barrett begins punching Orton a little bit, knocking him back onto the mat. Barrett gets Orton up for Wasteland, but Orton counters with a neckbreaker. Orton takes Barrett down with some clotheslines, then a scoop slam. Barrett, however, rolls to the outside of the ring, but Orton pulls him in, going for the DDT, but Barrett throws Orton out.
Darren Young interrupts, asking if Wade really thinks that he can be kicked out of Nexus and get away with it? Young has news for them. He’s going to show them why he wasn’t the weakest link, but is the missing link. Orton gets back in the ring while Young distracts Barrett and hits the RKO for the win.
Randy Orton wins via pinfall.
Orton motions for Young to get in the ring, and to come over. Orton then RKOs Young too. Sheamus gets on the apron, and Orton looks at him. Edge went for a Spear, but missed. Orton RKOs him, then Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick. Orton RKOs him too. Cena and Orton stand in the ring, staring at one another. Orton looks coiled to strike, but the two merely stare at one another instead.
Well, the tension is definitely on for Night of Champions, specifically with the WWE Championship and the United States Championship, something I wasn’t really expecting. However, I’m pretty excited to see what’ll happen. And this one was much better than last week’s episode. Until next week!
