Uh-Oh! It’s not the Big O, Broskis, it is in fact I, the ringleader of this little group of smarks we call BoredWrestlingFan.com, ThinkSoJoE! Justin Ruff is not feeling well this evening and we wish him a speedy recovery as I dive head first into Monday Night RAW! The best part about this is, I don’t know ANYTHING about tonight’s show other than Shawn Michaels is on it, so I can review this and give my thoughts as I initially watch. And here you thought I only did the podcasts!
Time for the dog show! Oh wait, they don’t preempt RAW for that anymore. You can watch it on CNBC, if you’re so inclined. Except this aired 3 hours ago, so you can’t.
For some reason Perez Hilton is polluting my Monday Night Raw. I personally think he has no place on our planet or in our species. Last week Kane laid out Zack Ryder because he couldn’t change a flat tire. Maybe Hilton can show Ryder how to change a flat tire. Things could be a lot worse though. We had the Funkasaurus debut last Monday and I’m curious to see where that goes. I’m also curious to see what Jericho does tonight. If you are looking for some great tires check out these Tire Shops for great deals.
We start off with Mick Foley. The great part about Mick Foley is that he can laugh at himself. Foley will be in the Royal Rumble. I will only be happy if he takes Jinder Mahal’s spot. Then he is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler berating him for taking a wrestler’s spot. And then CM Punk comes out they have a nice face off. And then Johnny Ace comes out. He says he will be impartial. True story. My wife was passed out on the couch. When Johnny Ace came out, she groaned in her sleep.
We get footage of the tag belts changing hands. We had a nice match between the Colons & (6 if you count Rosa Mendes. Some of you may have to think about this a little).
Chris Jericho will be in the main event. He turns out the light and lets his jacket sparkle.
Then we do a recap of Zack Ryder being unable to change a flat tire. Eve will accompany him to ringside. Ryder must have a member the size of Long Island cause I can’t think of any reason for Eve to still be with him after the “unable to change a flat tire” thing. Swagger destroyed Ryder and won the title.
In the back, Johnny Ace apologizes to Zack Ryder because he wasn’t medically cleared. Then Eve gets in his face and Ace tells her to respect authority. Huh?
R-Truth comes out and Wade Barrett interrupts him. Then after Barrett is done with his monologue, R-Truth begins his comments with ” ‘Allo, Govnuh.” Then there was a silly look at R-Truth’s trip to Disney. I hate to admit it, but I liked it. Then Miz came out followed by Sheamus. Teddy made a 4-man Over the Top Battle Royal match. R-Truth won. Nice match.
Then Jack Swagger comes out and he’s going to face John Cena? This was never a match. It was just a beatdown. This John Cena had some fire. Then Kane told Cena he was embracing the hate. Interesting.
We then had Brodus Clay kill JTG. Next to him is the chick whose second favorite match is Clay-Hawkins. I don’t know if this is right, but Funkasaurus is probably the best thing on Raw tonight.
Daniel Bryan cut a nice promo about why Big Show is a horrible person. The great part is that Bryan was a heel who told the truth. I really liked that.
The main event was really good. Jericho got tagged in, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and then walked off. Mark Henry chased Daniel Bryan to the back. And to make up for the missing person, Mick Foley came out. After the faces won, Johnny Ace came out and reversed the decision. Punk laid in to Ace about being pathetic and then walked off. Then Foley had a great face-off with Ace where Ace snapped. I had never seen Ace show that much fire before.
This turned out to be a really good Raw. I need more like these.
Tonight was a 3-hour Raw with The Rock or something.
It began with the Michael Cole challenge. There was a really awful arm wrestling. Then we got to see JR dance. Is there anything they won’t do to him? At this point, Jim Ross needs to tell the WWE to go f*** themselves. Then the final thing was a weighing contest. Then we are saved by CM Punk who rips into Michael Cole. Finally we have the sanest man in wrestling. Johnny Ace makes a match and Eddie Kingston dies inside. CM Punk is RP McMurphy in the insane asylum.
Mick Foley came out of a limo.
We had a pretty decent tag match. Cody Rhodes and Hunico versus Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston. It was a good solid match. The funniest part was that she had to leave the room because she was on the phone and she got distracted because she likes Sin Cara.
The Rock arrived. My wife’s heart fluttered.
Santino pimped the WWE new video game with Zack Ryder.
Vickie Guerrero walked out. Dolph Ziggler would be the new member of Team Barrett.
The Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan took on Dolph Ziggler. Vickie interfered and Dolph was dq’d. As Vickie and Dolph ran, John Morrison threw him back in the ring for some roid rage.
Mick Foley got to do the “Woo woo woo, you know it” thing with Zack Ryder. Then he walked out before the adoring crowd. Foley wants people to cheer John Cena. Then Foley invites John Cena to the ring. They went back to This is Your Life? Foley is one of my favorite all time on the mic. (Punk, Funk, Heyman, Dusty, Flair) Why did they have to have to do something so unoriginal? It was fun seeing Bull Buchanan. Then they brought out John Cena, Sr. I will never complain about Bob Orton Sr. after seeing that travesty.
We got Jack Swagger getting mugged by Sheamus. It wasn’t that bad of a match. Swagger now is my cue to play Civilization IV.
The Bellas would rather have Alberto Del Rio than Zack Ryder.
There was a video package of Kelly Kelly’s photo shoot. Due to me not being 12, I could care less.
Kelly Kelly pinned Nattie Neidhart in record time. Alicia Fox looked really hot in her dress. But don’t worry, AJ, you’re still the center of my Divas universe.
Super Dave and ADR argue about something. Matt Striker is standing by with R-Truth and Miz. I think Miz was just wearing random outfits that didn’t matter whether they matched or not.
As Punk was walking out to the ring, ADR attacked him. Ugh, why is Punk walking around by himself?
Alberto Del Rio walks out and I just gotta say Ricardo Rodriguez is one of my favorite things on WWE TV. We had ADR/Henry vs. Big Show/Punk. Punk apparently had some spinach or something. He came out and wanted ADR. This made me intrigued with this match for the first time ever. I thought they had some pretty decent things going on in this match. Big Show-Henry was no Chikara action, but I am looking forward to this match. ADR won and then put Punk in the arm breaker. Big Show came to his rescue. Decent build-up.
Santino Marella came out and cut a cute promo. Then Kevin Nash came out; everybody died inside except Jim Cornette. At least it wasn’t a big name he destroyed.
Michael Cole was doing the video game hard sell and my wife the nurse pointed out he wasn’t even wearing his sling right.
Looks like they’re serious about Wade Barrett again. It was a decent match, but it was SO predictable.
Then The Rock came out and rambled. Fortunately for us, with The Rock, it never seems like rambling. Then Miz and Truth came out and held their own against The Rock, and then John Cena came out. They forgot the TV-PG part for a minute. It was just ok for me.
I didn’t entirely hate this Raw. The first segment made me want to close my eyes and dream of Chikara. But it went better as time went on. I’m thinking “thumbs in the middle.”
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Hey, BoredWrestlingFans! Last week I said I’d next see you all on Christmas (or thereabouts), but that was before ‘WWE Week on USA’ was announced, including a live SmackDown! being broadcast on Tuesday night. The greatest thing about this live SmackDown! will be the lack of that canned cheering sound which the guys in the production truck love piping in to the taped shows to try and enhance crowd reactions. D’you know the sound I mean? It’s hard to describe… Anyway, I’m babbling.
So, without further ado, let’s get down to business! (more…)
Well, I was planning on reviewing the show as it aired, but outside of BoredWrestlingFan.com, I’m a busy, busy man. OK, so I wasn’t busy. I was sleeping. Anyways, I digress. I have no idea what’s supposed to be going on tonight, so let’s make some shit up. The Hart Dynasty will job to some random tag team, The Undertaker will try to send some kind of message to Shawn Michaels, something will happen with Rey Mysterio and the Straight Edge Society, and Michelle McCool, Layla, and Vickie Guerrero will annoy the piss out of wrestling fans everywhere. Oh, and Edge and Chris Jericho will likely have some kind of promo where the word “Spear” is said way too much. That sounds about right, doesn’t it? Let’s find out, shall we?
Tonight, Rey Mysterio calls out the Undertaker! Rey/Taker matches always seem to be tough ones for the audience because they are (regardless of alignment) the two most over guys on the show. Taker is simply not going to be booed. How will calling out the Dead Man end for the perpetual underdog? We go to the opening credits. (more…)
Greetings and salutations, fellow “Smackdown” fans!
The work week has ended for me, and I invite you to join me in leaving the realm of public education behind, and diving headfirst into the B-show that really isn’t. I’ve read no spoilers, and actually have no idea what is happening tonight. (more…)
