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RAW 8.2.10

August 2, 2010 11:22 pm 1 Comment

Alright, ladies and gentlemen. I’m exhausted, and I feel like crap for some reason. So, I’m going to do the RAW review, include the tweets, but I’m just going to give the basics on the matches, or my opinions. I may do full coverage of the main event, but it depends on how I feel when it gets there, alright?!

You think you know me…

Edge comes out. Says stuff. Commercial.

Nah, just kidding.

Edge says he tried, he really did, but last week made him realize he needs to go with his gut, and listen to only himself. Case and point, after the Royal Rumble, he listened to the WWE Universe, and they let him down. Just like the SummerSlam team is letting him down. He doesn’t respect Cena, he doesn’t trust Jericho, he doesn’t have any faith in Khali, he barely knows Truth and Morrison… That’s why he needs to do things his way. He agrees that Nexus needs to get taken down, but he has a proposal: he does things his way. Tonight, he challenges Wade Barrett, one on one. He doesn’t want anyone to interfere.

What’s up?!

Truth makes his way down, not rapping his own theme for once, and Truth says he was gonna ask him the same question: Does Edge actually thing challenging Wade to a match is going to fix anything? It’s bigger than Barrett. Edge gets that, and that’s why he doesn’t want to listen to Cena. Truth says fine, don’t listen to Cena, but he’ll listen to Truth. Edge has been in tons of matches. But how many times has he ever had to fight for everything, everything? Truth, Edge, they’re fighting for their lifestyles, their friends, family, for the WWE Universe. It’s us, we, we gotta do this together and fight this together, or Nexus wins. Simple as that. Edge needs to stop thinking of himself and pull his head out of his ass, and that’s the truth.

Edge says it’s clever, but that’s Truth’s version of the truth. You kill a snake by chopping its head off. Edge takes out Barrett and Nexus crumbles. Is Truth going to get out of the ring, or is Edge going to have to Spear him out?

“If this is what Edge wants, then I will honor his request. Truth, please exit the ring, because he will face Wade Barrett of Nexus, and that match is next.”

Truth says good luck, because Edge is on his own.

@IAmJHPunk “YOU GONE SPEAR ME?!” – R-Truth #wwe #raw #bwf

@SadieandCompany And I Quote makes me want to poke my own eardrums with something! #WWE #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar “Izz us! Izz WE!. If NOT. NEXUS WIN.” – Perfect grammar from R-Truth

Edge vs Wade Barrett

I’m seriously addicted to the Nexus theme song… I really am. Anyway, decent match, with Edge getting the advantage early on, and Wade stealing it back at every chance. However, Nexus comes out and Edge takes off into the crowd.

No winner.

Still to come, Mr. Money in the Bank will face the Number One Contender to the WWE Championship tonight in a one-on-one match!

@dasharpshooters Maybe Edge should run track for Canada. Boy was moving. #wwe #raw #bwf

@Niki_Sushi Wait, what? Edge was in the ring #SheamusRevisited #RAW #BWF

@JonelleDanger #WWE #RAW #BWF skip sheffield reminds me of a bulldog…an overbuff bulldog.

Backstage, Edge is looking for Cena, and finds him standing there. Edge asks where he was, and Cena shrugs. Cena says that no one wanted to listen to him, so he listened to Edge. No one’s supposed to go down there, so he didn’t. The only way they have a chance against Nexus is seven-on-seven. Edge says good luck, because they’re going to be doing it without Edge. He quits. Jericho is standing next to Cena, smirking. Cena asks if he quits too. Jericho says that Cena doesn’t get it. If anyone needs to quit, it’s Cena. He’s just as much a problem as Nexus. If they have any chance of beating Nexus, it’d be if Cena quit. If Cena doesn’t wanna do it on his own, Jericho will make him do it. Jericho says they should go out tonight and have a match: Loser leaves SummerSlam team for good. Cena says that Nexus is laughing at them and they’re doing the opposite of what they should be doing. Jericho asks yes or no, and Cena says fine, if that’s what he wants.

Morrison and Khali are backstage. Morrison says he doesn’t care about last week, but, like in The Magnificent Seven, if the seven don’t stand together, they don’t have a chance. The Great Khali says they were also the seven dwarves. Morrison wishes him luck against DiBiase.

Tarver and Otunga walk up and say they didn’t attack him last week, because they don’t attack people the respect. Otunga says that if he loses to DiBiase tonight, then Cena may replace him, and if he wants to go somewhere he’s respected, then their door is always open.

@TKeep123 Ok, got a few chills watching Summerslam rewind: Bret Hart v. Mr. Perfect! Those were the days! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@HitTheRopes @TheRealMorrison: There’s also the 7 evil exes that Scott Pilgrim must face. #wwe

@Niki_Sushi The Great Khali would eat Wade and shit him out to become the new leader of Nexus. Wade better watch out before he’s fish n chips. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog #TheGreatKhaliSays he sees through Nexus’ clever ruse… he’ll only join Nexus if they kick out Heath Slater

Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Natalya vs Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall, and Tamina

Good to see that Natalya finally gets to wrestle, even if it is in this stupid ass match that she’s probably not going to get much action in, but still. Oh, yeah, and I’m amused by how uninterested Tamina looks in her team mates. The Divas all went a little crazy outside the ring, though Natalya preformed very well. Anyway, Alicia attacks from behind for the victory.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox, Tamina, and Jillian Hall win via pinfall.

Alicia has the mic afterward and says that they’re all witnesses to the greatest reign in Diva’s Champion history. No matter what match, Alicia has beaten all of them. There isn’t a Diva on the whole roster that is comparable to her, because she’s-

And Melina’s theme hits and out she comes!!! Alicia looks like she’s trying to run, but the very Divas she just insulted are blocking her, and Jillian throws her back in the ring. Melina ducks a clothesline with a very Matrix-like move then drops Alicia in the Last Call, screaming ‘I’m back!’

Still to come: John Cena vs Chris Jericho, and the loser will leave the SummerSlam team!

Sheamus is making his way to the ring!!

@bethsharae Alicia beat Nattie? Well that was crap. #Raw

@Niki_Sushi Melina can keep doing her splits all around the ring, and we’ll only here the sound of Alicia’s ego splitting in half. #BWF #RAW

It’s a shame that they lost their head…

WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Goldust

Okay, quick random note: I love Goldust’s tweets. He makes me laugh so damn hard.

Sheamus wins with his High Cross. Kind of bland match, to be honest, but I do love Gold…

WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall.

Sheamus cuts a promo afterward saying that he’s a two-time WWE Champion who got here all by himself, by hard work, and didn’t have to be a third-generation Superstar like Randy Orton, or win a briefcase like The Miz. Sheamus brings up how he ended Triple H’s career (COUGHdoubtfulCOUGH), and he’s going to do the same to Orton at SummerSlam. These people never give him the credit or respect he deserves, but he doesn’t want or need it. All he needs is the WWE Championship.

@dasharpshooters GOLDUST VS SHEAMUS THE FEUD CONTINUES! #wwe #raw #bwf

@dasharpshooters Aw it’s never good when Goldust gets buried, but it had to happen. #wwe #raw #bwf

@TheMizMagnet Never before has the man with the WWE Championship jobbed SO MUCH! #BWF

John Cena vs Chris Jericho: Loser leaves the SummerSlam Team

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AND SHAGGY TOO!!!!!

Kay, couldn’t resist fucking up Cena’s theme again. Personally, a prediction to the match, I think that Nexus will interfere and they’ll both be there. My personal feelings. Anyway, about the match.

Good match between Jericho and Cena, with Jericho getting a good advantage over the Cena for most of the match. Cena starts up when he gets his advantage, going for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, only for Jericho to hit the Codebreaker, but Cena rolled out of the ring. Jericho tried to get him back in, and did, went for a cover, but it took too much time and Cena powered out at two.

OMG JERICHO DID THE HOGAN THING AGAIN! I’m okay. After the commercial break, the momentum changed a few times before Jericho steals it, calling Cena a stupid man a few times. Cena seemed to tweak his knee on a move off the top rope, but Cena locks the STF and Jericho taps.

John Cena wins via submission.

Jericho tapped before the STF was locked in, and Cena looks pretty damn confused. Jericho shoves the steps, and Cena has a mic.

Cena asks Chris for just a minute, and Jericho stops. Cena says that the people saw one helluva match against two of the best in the WWE, and says he doesn’t want Jericho to leave. He wants him to stay, because Jericho is the best in the world at what he does. Cena’s not gonna beg though, and says the choice is Jericho’s. Either come back in the ring and they agree to coexist, and they handle Nexus, or Jericho walks out, and he lets everybody down, including himself. Jericho stops, looking around for a minute, but starts toward the ring, stops, shakes his head, and walks back toward the back. He stops at the top of the ramp, then keeps walking toward the back.

Still to come: Randy Orton vs United States Champion The Miz!

@TheNexusWWE Ha ha ha … 7-on-5 at SummerSlam … too bad for you @JohnCena! #WWE #SSlam

@IAmJHPunk @IAmJericho (to @JohnCena): “Stay down! You’re a stupid, stupid man! You’re a stupid man!” #wwe #raw #bwf

Edge is backstage, when Jericho comes up to him. Edge says that he doesn’t blame Jericho for what he did. Cena needs them, not the other way around. Edge respects Jericho for what he did. Jericho says he doesn’t need that, and he respects that Edge quit. Cena needs them more than they need him. They were doing just fine before they got involved with Nexus. Edge says they’ve been through a lot together, but together, they could own this place. Maybe the two of them should let bygones be bygones. The two shake hands, give a man-hug, and then…

“After what has transpired tonight, next week Edge and Chris Jericho will team together against their former SummerSlam teammates, John Cena and Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Additionally, all seven members of Nexus will stand at ringside as lumberjacks.”

Josh Matthews is joined by Randy Orton backstage. Josh says that Sheamus was going to do the same thing that he did to Triple H at Wrestlemania. Randy says that he once gave Triple H a six-week vacation due to a kick to the skull. He invites Sheamus to sit ringside for his match against The Miz. The good news for Sheamus is that after the match, Miz will be in no shape to cash in his Money in the Bank contract. The bad news is that in two weeks, it’s Sheamus’ turn.

Up next, the world premiere of Legendary.

The Great Khali vs. Ted DiBiase

As usual Maryse accompanies Ted to the ring, but he makes her stay out of it. Can’t say I blame him. Anyway, Maryse provided enough of a distraction for Ted to grab the advantage, but Barrett and Sheffield come down to the ring. DiBiase gets distracted, and Khali just squeezes DiBiase’s head.

Khali wins via head squishing?

The United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank makes his way to the ring!

@IAmJHPunk Someone take out Khali!!! #wwe #raw #bwf

@IAmJHPunk @TheNexusWWE are wayyyyyyy too good for Khali!!!! #FireKhali #wwe #raw #bwf

@JCenadotcom So… wait… Khali’s winning matches again?

Will Ferrell won some total cool points from me though as he called The Bellas average looking. I officially love him… more than before.

AWESOME!!

The United States Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Before Randy comes out, Miz talks. He says that last week, Randy made a mistake. It wasn’t just a lapse in judgment, it was a life-altering moment in the career of Randy Orton. Because now, he doesn’t have a shred of positivity in his future. Tonight, he’ll pay for what he did. At SummerSlam, his best case scenario is that he beats Sheamus for the WWE Championship. But then what? What happens next? Miz’ moment. Do the voices in Randy’s head hear him? Miz’ moment! Randy only delayed the inevitable. Get it straight: Miz will be WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s awesome!

Orton and Miz lock up, and Orton pushes Miz back into the turnbuckle, but neither let go. Miz turns it around and pushes Orton into the turnbuckle, getting a punch in on Orton’s head before beating on Orton for a few minutes. Miz Irish Whips Orton into the opposite turnbuckle, but Orton clotheslines Miz. Orton then stomps on Miz’ chest, and again. Orton then stomps on Miz’ face, and then goes for the knee-drop, but Miz rolls out of the way. Miz gets up and knees Orton in the face. Miz goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Miz gets Orton in the corner, and starts stomping. Miz keeps Orton in the corner for a few minutes before Orton plants a boot in Miz’ face. Orton has Miz’ head under the bottom rope, and then slams his face into it. Orton then tries the knee drop again, hits it, and goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Orton whips Miz across the ring and Miz holds on to the top rope. Orton clotheslines him out, and then Sheamus comes out to stand at the top of the ramp.

@ThingsColeSays Will Ferrall buries the Bellas. Good man.

@LadySwagger6 Bellas did way more than “hang out” with Wahlberg & Ferrell

@theerj Hey look it’s da Bella Whores!!! Can’t have an ass kissing Guest host segement without those 2

@dasharpshooters Will Farrell treats his tricks like tricks. #wwe #raw #BOSS #bwf

We come back to Orton owning Miz with Sheamus watching still. Orton has Miz in a headlock, but Miz powers out. Miz then gets revenge with his own boot to the face. Miz stops to catch his breath before stomping on Orton’s stomach and dropping elbows and forearms on Orton’s chest. Miz then drops another boot to Orton’s face, but Orton kicks out. Miz then gets Orton in a headlock and rakes at his face before the ref gets him away. Orton gets to his feet and powers out of the headlock, getting some this in on Miz before Orton drops Miz in a backbreaker. Orton’s knee is still bothering him, apparently. Orton walks over to Miz, but Miz plants him in the turnbuckle. Orton starts to get up, and Miz backs away, preparing to run across the ring. He hits Orton with his swinging corner clothesline, before going for a cover. Orton kicks out at two. Miz then hits Orton in the head and face a few times before the ref gets him off of Orton. Randy then uppercuts Miz out of nowhere. Miz retaliates with a hit to the face that drops Orton. Miz gets Orton by the ears, but Orton starts fighting back with some powerful hits before hitting Miz with some shoulder blocks, followed by a scoop slam. Miz is on the edge of the ring apron, and he pulls Miz in through the top and middle rope. Orton goes to hit his DDT, but Miz flips him over the top rope and onto the floor.

Miz rolls out of the ring and throws Orton into the ring. Miz blocks a clothesline and drops him in a backbreaker onto his knee and then down. Miz goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Sheamus looks unimpressed, and Miz looks stunned that Orton kicked out. Miz goes to clothesline Orton, but Orton comes back with an RKO. He pins Miz and wins.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

Sheamus ran down to the ring to attack Randy, but Randy dropped and started pounding the mat, and Sheamus stopped dead in his tracks. The two stare and Randy smirk-snarls at Sheamus.

Overall, not a bad RAW. Seeya next week.

RAW 7.26.10

July 26, 2010 11:19 pm 2 Comments

What’s up everyone?! I’m on vacation in Chicago with @Niki_Sushi, as a birthday present to us, but I’m still gonna review RAW! No idea how well this is going to go, but I’m going to do my best, alright? Why’m I still going to do this review? No rest for the wicked.

Now that Cena has gathered a team to do battle with Nexus at SummerSlam, how is the shift in balance going to play out on RAW? And what about Mister Money in the Bank? Is he going to cash in on RAW, or is he going to save his opportunity until he sees the champion down at SummerSlam??

BRRRRRRRRRRR MONKEY POO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring. One day, he’ll realize that orange isn’t his color, I’m hoping. And he stands there… and stands there… And says everything’s better in Texas. Seven weeks ago, Nexus attacked and took over RAW with no warning. Superstars, commentators, cameramen, the Chairman, Hall of Famers, no one was safe. They did it for reasons only they knew. The point is, if Nexus wanted you hurt, you got hurt. Until last Monday. RAW finally said they have had enough. Friends and enemies stood side by side in the ring with one common goal: to beat Nexus at SummerSlam. You will see that they are not invincible. It’s about time, because the more they terrorize, the more power they get. And with power comes great responsibili-I mean influence. With more influence, they’ll start to take out the show. He’s not saying it’s going to be easy, he’s not Superman, he sees himself more as Aquaman. Jericho and Edge aren’t Batman and Robin. The idea of Khali walking around like Wonder Woman is just wrong. Cena photoshopped it, and it was very very disturbing. Every person on team Cena was chosen for a reason, and at SummerSlam-

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

I love Jericho… especially in a tux. Just sayin.

Cena points out Jericho is on the SummerSlam team. The crowd has a Y2J chant going, and Jericho looks a little confused. He says that he was standing backstage, biding his time, counting the minutes until Cena said what Jericho knew he would say. “My team.” “John Cena’s Team.” All week long, people have been approaching Jericho, saying they’re happy he’s on Cena’s team, and has changed his ways. Jericho wants to make something clear: He didn’t get involved to be a part of Cena’s team, to bask in the glory of a hero, or to shamelessly pander to a group of parasites. He got involved because of his personal problems with Nexus and Barrett, a man he molded from the moment he first came into the company. Jericho knows Barrett and Nexus, therefore he’s more qualified, and this is Jericho’s team. Cena says fine, and the team is sold to Jericho, at a bargain price. Call them whatever he wants. He doesn’t care; he just wants to beat Nexus. Jericho tells Cena not to patronize him. He will be honest and clear: the team lives or dies by Jericho. Cena knocks the mic out of Jericho’s hand, and Jericho looks ready to either run or smack a Sunkist bitch.

Cena says it ain’t about Jericho. It’s not about him. It’s about the damn business. Nexus has taken over the company. Last week, they got Jericho, they got Cena, whatever they want. Jericho loves the business, and that’s why they’re doing it. Does Jericho understand what Cena is saying to him right now? They have to co-exist. Yes, he knows Barrett better than anyone. Jericho is essential to the team. Jericho picks up the mic again and tells Cena never to knock the mic out of his hand again. Second of all, Jericho knows how essential he is. More than that, he sees the big picture. Nexus isn’t the only threat to the company. The other threat is John Cena. Because Cena is more like Nexus than he thinks. He walks around, interrupting whoever he wants, doing what he wants to do. The only difference is he does it with the support of the WWE Universe. Jericho is warning Cena: As soon as Nexus is gone, he’s going to take the next logical step, and turn his sights on Cena. He’ll either do it with his team’s help, or he’ll do it himself. Cena says he’s standing right there, take your best shot.

You’ve got mail!

Cena threw his hat. “Cena, Jericho. Your match against the Nexus at SummerSlam will now be an Elimination Match. The team that eliminates all the members of the opposing team first will be victorious. And in a preview of SummerSlam, the Nexus will face seven RAW superstars in an elimination match tonight. Your match at SummerSlam is all about teamwork. Tonight, let’s see how you, John, and you, Chris, function as a team against opponents of my choosing. And if you’re not down with that, I’ve got two words for you.”

@Niki_Sushi The LOOK on @IAmJericho’s face is ‘I’m being cheered for. I do not approve.’ #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Good grief folks, hold onto your socks. HBK is not in the house tonight. Sigh… #WWE #BWF

@RAWMysteryGM I don’t trust Cole to get me food, it’ll probably be moldy. He loves the Vintage thing RT @Tommyspud: @RAWMysteryGM ‘Get me a pizza’

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus makes his way to the ring, and Jerry says he is what the future of the WWE is all about. He sits down next to Jerry Lawler.

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso with Jimmy Uso and Tamina

Last week, Orton won a triple threat match between Jericho, himself, and Edge to get the title of Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam.

Looks like the Usos are starting to really get up here if they get to fight Randy. Anyway, I’m kind of interested in this match. The two lock up, and Uso gets a hit to the face that takes him down. Orton keeps the momentum, punching Uso in the side of the head before getting Uso under the bottom rope, and dropping him up into it. Orton then pulls Uso to the apron by his hair. Uso pulls Orton’s head down on the rope, however, and then manages to keep Orton down for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. He gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton stands up and powers out. The two exchange blows before Orton gets the advantage with a couple of clotheslines, and then a scoop slam. Jimmy Uso tries to help, but Orton gets him. Orton then DDTs Jey off of the second rope, and Randy gets riled up, slamming on the mat, and hitting the RKO. He goes for the cover, and secures a victory.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall!

Orton paid too much attention to Sheamus, and Jimmy Uso attacked him. Orton begins to attack back, and Sheamus sneaks in. Orton ducks an attempted kick to the face from Sheamus, and then RKO’s Sheamus.

AWESOME!

Miz runs out there with a referee behind him, and cashes in the Money in the Bank contract.

The Miz vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship

However, before the match can even begin, Randy RKOs The Miz, and it seriously looks like Randy just mouthed ‘mother FUCKER’.

Edge is backstage, talking, saying he can’t wait for SummerSlam. However, he wishes Ted was on his team instead of Khali. Cena comes to Edge and says he has an unstoppable unit, but Khali? Khali’s clumsy, uncoordinated, and not that bright. Maryse says that they don’t understand him, but Edge doesn’t look like he understood her. Ted says neither Khali nor Morrison deserve to be there. Edge says if he has to, he’ll force Cena’s hand and take Khali out himself. As he walks away, he passes Ranjin Singh.

@TKeep123 …and this could go on for a year! :} RT @markjamesbrand: Poor Miz. Thwarted again.

@Niki_Sushi ‘WWE’ is #9 trending in Chicago! #BWF #RAWSheamus and Miz are still in the ring, yelling at one another.

You’ve got mail!

“I found the team that will challenge Chris Jericho and John Cena tonight. The United States Champion The Miz, and the WWE Champion Sheamus.”

I just noticed, the briefcase is dented. Probably from beating Sheamus in the head with it.

Backstage, Edge is on the phone and Khali starts yelling at him. Ranjin says he heard earlier what Edge said, and he told Khali. Edge claims he never said that, and that he has nothing but the utmost respect for Khali. Khali grumbles something, or spits it, and it apparently translated to Edge is a nincompoop, and challenges him to a match right now. Khali manages to say: YOU! ME! NOW!, which is just plan dirty. Edge says fine. But if Edge wins, Khali is off the team.

@HitTheRopes “I received another manager from the general email.” — Michael Cole. LOL #WWE

@RAWMysteryGM Cole screwed up my E-mail, I will replace him with Byron Saxton starting next week #WWE

@Niki_Sushi Well, Edge is gonna get a Great Fist up his ass and a pinky and index through his eyeballs. #BWF #RAW

The Great Khali vs. Edge

Khali comes out, and everyone’s dancing, and I’m so sick of that dance it’s not even funny. Lawler is gone because he’s going to be part of the seven-on-seven tag team elimination match later tonight. I hope Striker comes back on commentary.

Khali starts towards Edge, but Edge moves. Edge is then thrown into a turnbuckle, and Khali licks his han- okay, not really. He smacks Edge in the chest, and then manhandles him a bunch, throwing him into the opposite turn buckle. Edge gets up and manages to punch Khali a couple times, and then Khali clotheslines him, trying a leg drop and missing as Edge rolls away. Nexus makes their way out to the ring, and Edge climbs out of the ring, and into the crowd. Nexus surrounds the ring. Khali’s glaring at Nexus, and they make their way into the ring. They move away, creating an opening for him by the ramp. Khali cautiously gets out of the ring, and he backs up the ramp.

Later tonight, it’s John Cena and Chris Jericho against United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus. However, before that, it’s the seven-on-seven elimination match. I saw Yoshi Tatsu, the Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, and Jerry Lawler.

@BrdWrstlngFn Why did the GM choose to torment us by having Michael Cole on commentary by himself?

@HitTheRopes Dammit Edge, if you allowed the Nexus to beat you up, you would have won by DQ and Khali would have been off the team. #wwe

Seven-on-Seven Tag Team Elimination Match
Team RAW vs Team Nexus
Yoshi Tatsu, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Goldust, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Mark Henry, and Evan Bourne vs. Darren Young, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, Skip Sheffield, and David Otunga

Tarver and Yoshi start out, and Tarver gets the upper hand, throwing Yoshi into the turnbuckle. Tatsu runs at him, but Tarver scoop slams him, and eliminates him.

Yoshi Tatsu Eliminated by Michael Tarver.

Evan Bourne takes over against Tarver, and Tarver keeps an advantage, tagging in Justin Gabriel. Tarver was holding Bourne back, but Bourne used it to his advantage. He then tagged in Lawler. Lawler goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out at two. Barrett pulls Gabriel out, and they begin to work out a plan.

@seraphalexiel Why did Tyson send Nattie to the back? She can handle the Nexus. And I don’t like seeing Jerry in the ring

@Niki_Sushi ‘VINTAGE LAWLER!’ You know what’ll be vintage? Your life when I figure out how to morph through TVs, Cole. Wait for it. #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Love Jerry Lawler’s “Wonder Woman” outfit! He’s still fabulous!! #WWE #BWF

@ IAmJHPunk Dammit Bourne vs Gabriel would have been great! #wwe #raw #bwf

Jerry Lawler was eliminated during the break by Heath Slater, which is sad, but oh well. Tyson Kidd is in the ring now, and Heath Slater is taking a beating. The ref gets Tyson off Heath, and then tags in David Hart Smith. Smith kept him up in the air for a while before finally dropping him in a suplex, and then went for the cover, but Slater kicked out at two. Smith keeps the advantage, getting Slater down in the corner before Irish Whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. Slater gets up on the top rope, and Smith gets distracted by Gabriel. Slater hits Smith from behind, and eliminates him.

David Hart Smith eliminated by Heath Slater.

Goldust is in now, and Slater get s quick advantage, but Goldust hits a shoulder block before slapping Slater around. Slater tags in Otunga. Goldust gets momentum, but Young holds his ankle and lets Otunga get an opportunity.

Goldust eliminated by David Otunga.

Mark Henry comes in and lifts Otunga before dropping him. Henry then throws Otunga into the turnbuckle, and Slater is tagged in. Slater is thrown around by Henry, who then hurls him across the ring again. Slater then tags in Young, who is clotheslined as soon as he comes in. Henry then hits a boot that actually hurts both me and @Niki_Sushi. Sheffield comes in and the two get in a yelling match for a minute. Sheffield then hits some blows on Henry, before going for his clothesline. Henry then drops him with a suplex, I think, and then again. He then throws Gabriel into the ring, before running right into him in the turn buckle. Turns out Henry forgot about Sheffield, who hits him with his spear-like clothesline.

Mark Henry eliminated by Skip Sheffield.

Only Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne are left. Sheffield ran at them, and they both kicked him before Kidd went in. Kidd then was clotheslined in mid air. Sheffield tags in Young, who hits Kidd.

Tyson Kidd eliminated by Darren Young.

Wade Barrett comes in and runs at Evan. Evan then attacks everyone he can, but Wade gets him and drops him. Wade goes for the cover, and it’s over.

Team Nexus wins, seven to nothing.

Evan’s still lying in the ring, and they get him up, as usual, and then run him right into Sheffield’s Spear-Clothesline. Otunga then lifts Evan, and then drops him. As Evan lies there, Justin gets up on the top rope, hitting the 450 Splash.

Barrett gets the mic, and says that what they just saw was an act of total domination. The Nexus has always been 100% behind the common purpose. Cena, or Jericho’s team is already showing cracks. The cracks are due to their individual egos and agendas. Barrett assures us that come SummerSlam, the cracks are going to destroy the team. Sheffield says that he has a team of individuals who have no singular focus. No member of Cena’s team is willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the group, like Nexus will do and has done. What Cena’s looking at is the Nexus. And they are unbreakable. Tarver takes the mic and says that SummerSlam will be no different than tonight. They will eliminate everyone until there’s only one person left, and Tarver hopes it’s Cena. They’ll treat him like a piece of meat, until they’ve all had their fill. They’ll pounce, and when they do, they’ll put him out of his misery. And then it’ll be over, mercifully for Cena, in more ways than one.

Miz is sitting backstage, massaging his forehead from the RKO, and then Sheamus comes up. Sheamus starts hating on Miz, and says that Miz is dreaming if he thinks that he can beat Sheamus. Miz just stares at him. Sheamus asks if Miz thinks he can, just name the time and place. Miz says how about tonight, immediately after they face Cena and Jericho. After Miz wins that match, and throws Sheamus back in the ring. After Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and Jericho puts him in the Walls of Jericho, and he’s screaming in pain… Miz has a really good Irish accent, btw, and then Miz cashes in on Sheamus. Sheamus says if Miz keeps pushing him, he’ll make him regret it, and knocks the briefcase across the room. Miz looks around and then scoffs.

@kickoutblog When Michael Tarver speaks, you better listen, but don’t look directly into his eyes or else he’ll consume your soul.

@HitTheRopes A clothesline took out the “World’s Strongest Man”? Really? #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Little Known Fact: Mark Henry and Skip Sheffield have a rap battle every night over drinks.

@TKeep123 Team Steroid vs. Team Jobber ….. outcome as expected. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@BrdWrstlngFn Come on WWE, pull the trigger – you know you want The Miz as the WWE Champion!

@kellylynndobson To Barrett Bourne must have weighed nothing after botching kool aid last week. #bwf

Brie Bella with Nikki Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox

Dear God… It’s the Bellas. Jerry is, however, finally back, so we don’t just have to listen to Cole. The Bellas are dressed alike, so I smell a Switcheroo. Jillian came out to stop the twins from doing said Switcheroo, and Nikki nearly pinned Alicia, but Alicia came back and hit her with her finisher, whatever it’s called.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins via pinfall!

Someone made the mistake of letting Jillian pick up a mic. Jillian says that she has a gift for Alicia, and she’s gonna sing. She’s singing a fucked up version of We Are the Champions by Queen, but Alicia hits her with her finisher too, and another stupid segment is ended.

@dasharpshooters Whores are forever, and so are the Bella Twins. #wwe #raw #bwf

@IAmJHPunk How does Jillian still have a job?! #wwe #raw #bwf

R-Truth is out, screaming his constant question, to be on commentary. Anyway.

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. John Morrison

DiBiase and Morrison lock up, as Cole questions Truths’ motives. Maryse grabbed Morrison, and allowed DiBiase to get a chance to beat him up a little. DiBiase goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. I don’t really care what Truth says, stop focusing on him. DiBiase went for another cover, but Morrison kicked out. DiBiase gets Morrison in a headlock, but Morrison fights out, only to get beat up a bit. Morrison fights back, and Morrison hits DiBiase with his spinny-kick thing, and DiBiase kicks at Morrison. Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to the corner, but Maryse gets on the apron and distracts Morrison. DiBiase puts his feet on the rope to try to cover Morrison, but Truth shoves his feet off. DiBiase attacks Truth, and then Morrison tries to take advantage, only to kick Morrison in the face. DiBiase manages to pin Morrison for the win.

Ted DiBiase wins via pinfall!

Truth and Morrison start arguing in the ring, about Truth’s interference, and Morrison leaves, obviously upset, further creating cracks in Team Cena or Team Jericho. Cena’s watching this, worried about how this is going to affect the team. Truth admits that it was his bad, but Morrison doesn’t look impressed.

@KeepItFiveStar His name is NOT “Jo Mo Fo Sho” it’s John Morrison. Don’t bring him down to your level.

@BrdWrstlngFn Can we get Alicia Fox out here to kick R-Truth too?

@dasharpshooters Morrison turning heel? Hope so. #wwe raw #bwf

@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase’s purple tights are made from actual skin from Grimace. It’s amazing what money can buy.

“Rip It Up” by Jet is the official SummerSlam theme song!

Lawler has a Cena Slurpee cup with a Triple H straw…

Josh Matthews is backstage with Randy Orton now! He says that earlier, Randy prevented Miz from cashing in. Orton says that before he RKO’d Miz, he RKO’d Sheamus. T he message he sent tonight was clear: the question of who will be champion walking into SummerSlam doesn’t matter, because the question of who’s leaving as champion will be answered with an RKO.

AWESOME!

United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus vs John Cena and Chris Jericho

@RAWMysteryGM Spoiler Alert: Miz opens next week’s RAW with the World Heavyweight championship explaining why he cashed in on Kane on Smackdown #WWE

@kickoutblog Y2J chant? Get out of 1999 you parasitic tapeworms!

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus comes out, and there’s already tension between Miz and Sheamus, and everyone knows Jericho and Cena were going to have tension…

Both teams are arguing over who’s going to start the match. I saw Miz go, “Okay, you start it? You start it?” and then run to attack Cena. Cena hits a bulldog by the time I look up, and Miz rolls out of the ring. Miz then tags in Sheamus, who blends in with the ring ropes. They lock up, and Sheamus gets the advantage, keeping Cena in a headlock, but Cena powers out and puts Sheamus in a headlock. Cena hits the shoulder block, and then shoves Sheamus in the corner. Cena holds his hand out and Jericho tags in, cornering Sheamus, before Sheamus turns it around on Jericho. A Y2J chant is starting up, and it makes me happy. Jericho hits a missile dropkick on Sheamus before standing on both Sheamus and the ropes. Jericho gets a kick in the stomach before some moves are exchanged and Sheamus gets flipped out of the ring. Jericho clears the ring, and then Miz mocks Sheamus outside the ring.

We come back to Cena and Sheamus, just in time for Cena to get a huge clothesline. Sheamus tags in Miz, but Cena gets the advantage and goes for a cover, only for Miz to kick out. Jericho comes in off the tag and knees Miz right in the nose. Jericho bounces around and goes for a cover, only to try for the Walls of Jericho. Sheamus goes to attack Jericho, but Jericho ducks and finally manages to hit the Lionsault on Sheamus, but Miz takes advantage. Miz gets Chris up and back into his corner, kicking him before Sheamus tags himself in. Sheamus then attacks Chris in the same way, pandering more to Miz than the crowd, as the Miz chokes Chris on the apron as Sheamus distracts the ref. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out. Sheamus gets Jericho in a headlock after that, and Jericho gets to his feet and powers out. Sheamus drops Jericho onto his knee and then goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Jericho back to his feet, and then drops him again. Sheamus tags Miz in, and Miz drops his boot on Jericho’s back before hitting him with some forearms. Miz then keeps Jericho on the rope, and slams his throat into it. Miz goes for a cover, but Jericho grabs the rope. Miz then gets a kick to the chin, and then a missile dropkick from the top rope. Cena is yelling at Jericho to tag him, and Miz rolls over to tag in Sheamus. Sheamus then gets Jericho in a headlock, and Cena seems to be trying to walk Jericho through it on the apron. Jericho manages to get up and power out of the headlock and Miz tags his way in. Miz then bounces Jericho’s head off the turnbuckle, and beats him in the corner. The ref forces Miz off, and then Miz yells at him before attempting his swinging corner clothesline, only for Jericho to win.

Miz is slowly rolling to Sheamus, as Jericho crawls to Cena, and it’s now Cena and Sheamus. Cena takes Sheamus down with some shoulder blocks. Cena then sets up and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Miz distracts the ref, and Chris is in the ring too. Chris hits the Code Breaker on Cena, Miz tags in himself, and goes for the cover on Cena.

The United States Champion The Miz and the WWE Champion Sheamus win via pinfall.

Miz already starts walking out of the ring and away from them. Jericho is watching Cena, before climbing back in the ring. Jericho then puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho. Cena flips it and puts Jericho into the STF. Jericho taps, but Khali comes in, trying to talk some sense into them. Edge then hits a Spear on Khali. Cena asks what the hell Edge is doing only for Morrison and Truth to come in. Team Cena/Jericho/whatever is all arguing in the ring. Khali then hits Morrison and Edge, and then everyone tries to tell Khali to stop. Jericho starts screaming at all of them too, telling everyone to stay down.

Looks like the tension on Team Cena/Jericho/YankeeDoodleDandy is going to make everyone a little crazy. How will Nexus take advantage of this? Will Miz ever cash in the Money in the Bank contract, or is he just going to hold onto it forever until the year mark and then cash it in? Later, BWF tweeters.

Delayed NXT season 2 review for 7/13

July 18, 2010 11:51 am Leave a Comment

We open with a video package of Nexus.

To the ring Ashley Valence is in the ring with Matt Striker as they take turns introducing the pros. Morrison is selling his beating by Nexus. Laycool is absent.

They bring out Nexus, who takes seats on the opposite side of the entrance from the pros. Darren Young is absent due to his beating by John Cena

Barrett says it’s a privlege to be on the show they got their start on. They wish the rookies all the best. He tells the pros they just want to sit back and enjoy the show.
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“Impact” Impressions, 7/8/10 (short version)

July 9, 2010 7:19 pm Leave a Comment

Ahoy, mateys!

This week, your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess must provide you with an abbreviated version of this week’s show. Real-timing wasn’t really possible last night, as I had company and stir-fry. Yummy! In any case, here’s how the go-home show for Sunday’s “Victory Road” ppv went down: (more…)

RAW 6.28.10

June 29, 2010 12:21 am 1 Comment

Hey everybody! Sorry about the lack of a RAW review last week. I had some computer troubles. But, I have a new laptop now, and I’m back in business. For more frequent updates as to why I’m not doing what I’m supposed to, make sure you follow me on Twitter: @TheMizMagnet. This week, Rob Zombie hosts!! Not only that, but what are the consequences supposed to be for the NXT Rookies attacking Mr. McMahon? What about this new GM? Who the hell is he… or she?!

Last Monday, the NXT Rookies surrounded Referee!Vince in the ring and then violently/brutally, whatever you wanna call it, attacked him, leaving him motionless in the ring as they all stood over him.

We start off RAW with no theme music. We’re told that we know nothing so far about Vince’s condition, but we’ll be updated if anything new is discovered tonight. Also, the NXT Season One Rookies want to be called Nexus, and Wade Barrett is at WWE HQ to plead his case and what not. The new anonymous General Manager says that the Nexus’ actions would be met with the appropriate consequences.

It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man who could wind up dead...

Sheamus comes out to the ring and says that he watched the footage of Nexus beating Vince several times and he has to say he’s disgusted. He’s disgusted about what went down. So, as the WWE Champion, he felt it was his responsibility to make a statement on behalf of the company: the champ is here. Even though the Nexus lads got involved in his match, eveyone knows he would have beaten Cena regardless, and he would have proved he’s worthy of the Championship. He knows it’s unfortunate when it happens, but one important thing came out of it: Cena’s not the #1 Contender for the belt, and why? because he used his rematch clause. It means that he no longer has to look at the tacky orange t-shrits, no longer does he have to listen to the never-give-up slogans, and no longer does he have to listen to the WWE Universe chant “Cena” every week like parrots. No longer does he have to listen to Cena make fun of his beautiful Irish skin by calling him a human jar of mayo. He hates Cena. Cena can get to the back of the queue, like everyone else, because he’s through and he’s never gonna get a shot at Sheamus’ gold ever again.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHABADOO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring and just stands there for a couple minutes, grinning and listening to the crowd. Sheamus asks him what he’s doing there, and says that he’s not going to get another shot at him or his belt again. Cena says that he knows and he didn’t come out there for that. He came out here to ask for help. Everybody here saw how Sheamus won the Championship, everyone saw how he kept it. It’s the group calling themselves Nexus. They made a target out of him because he was the WWE Champion, and they’re coming after the human jar of Mayo, Philly’s own giant block of cream cheese, the WWE Champion, Sheamus. Cena says he’s gonna cut to thee chase: They don’t like each other. Sheamus is tough as nails and can fight. Wanna keep the championship? His career? Then help Cena right now. They are going to start off RAW the way they should, for one night only, they fight, side by side, right now because Cena’s calling out Nexus, and they’re gonna start off RAW with a brawl.

However, an email sound comes on and Michael Cole stands up and says that he has an email. He’s like the new AOL guy: Welcome. I’ve got mail! Anyway, the email says, and Cole quotes (though I don’t, because that was a lot to type at once with Cole’s voice giving me a migraine), “I’ll wait until next week to take action agaisnt Nexus. I will allow spokesman Barrett time to present his case to WWE Officials. However, as far as tonight is concerned, if any membner of that group makes any contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated. However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact, they will be suspended.”

Cena thanks the anonymous General Manager. He says that it’s not a total loss, because they’ve learned something about Sheamus. He’s not just pale skin, and he’s a good dude. Honestly, he’s a pretty good guy. Sheamus was thinking to himself that they should have started RAW with a brawl, but, since they can’t, they’re thinking that they should start of RAW with a WWE Championship match!

The email sound comes again and Cole repeats that he has an email. None of us are, apparently, intelligent enough to know what that sound means. This email says that the WWE Championship, Sheamus will be in action tonight, but it’ll be against Mark Henry.

Cena explodes here (metaphorically speaking. Sorry to disappoint some of you). He claims his life is being ruined by the internet, and he hasn’t freaked out this bad since his mom cancelled his Warcraft subscription. He says that the GM should email him directly… at… candypants264@gmail.org. He goes on, but Cole has to tell us he has an email, so I missed it. The email says that in three weeks, there is a new PayPerView called Money in the Bank, where the winner will receive a contract for a WWE Title match that they can cash in at any time. You know, the same stipulations participants get at Wrestlemania. He says that the eight participants for the RAW match will be revealed later tonight, and he would like to demonstrate. Sheamus says the General Manager can demonstrate all he wants, because Shemaus has wasted enough of his time there and he’s out of there. In the ring, the cage starts to lower. The email goes on and says that since last week’s title match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage match.

Six Person Tag Match: The Unified Tag Team Champions David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya vs

As the Hart Dynasty comes out to the ring, the Usos come out and lay the Hart Dynasty out. They start to go back up the ramp, but Tamina runs down and throws Natalya in the ring, hitting her with the Superfly Splash.

Backstage, Josh Matthews asks R-Truth what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Truth says that they’re behaving like wild, untamed animals. He says not to fire them because that’s too easy. He tells Josh to leave them there at the WWE Zoo, where he’s the zookeeper. And that’s the Truth.

Vladimir Kozlov vs Santino Marella – If Santino wins, then Vladimir will be Santion’s tag partner

Vladimir is already in the ring, and this match is pretty quick as we move through Santino entering the ring. Santino goes for a lot of moves, Kozlov just brushes him off, blah blah blah, Kozlov ends up pinning Santino.

Vladimir Kozlov Wins!

Kozlov seems to be amused as he keeps helping Santino up only for him to fall back down. He starts to head up the ramp when William Regal comes out, shakes Kozlov’s hand, and then runs into the ring and attacks Santino. Kozlov goes back into the ring and attacks Regal. Then, he carries Santino right out of the ring and up the ramp.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Great Khali, asking him what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Khali says something, but Ranjin Singh just says that Khali says that he’s a big, stupid giant and his manager is really tired of protecting him. If Nexus were to come up right now, Khali would run.

Tomorrow night, the second season of NXT gets their first votes!!

Tonight’s guest host is a five-time Grammy nominated musician, a screen writer, a producer, and actor, he’s Rob Zombie! He’s also the anniversary guest host, so to speak, for this is one year to the week of the first Guest Host! Rob Zombie says he’s there because he loves sick and twisted things, like the sick and twisted things that go on in the ring, like Money in the Bank. He’s there to announce the Money in the Bank Ladder Match participants for RAW: Randy Orton, The United States Champion, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bounre, Ted DiBiase, John Morrison and… this guy.

Edge shows up on the TitanTron and says that he hasn’t talked to Rob Zombie since he dumped his entrace theme. Rob Zombie says that he wants to set the record straight. He took his song back because he couldnt’ stand to have Edge destroy it. He starts to leave the ring and Edge asks him if that’s it. Did he scare away the horror director, the astro-creep? All that matters is that he won the first ever MitB, and cashed it in on Cena and won his first WWE Championship. Don’t we remember that? Why doesn’t he remind us?

Yeah, Edge did that. He did it and he had so much fun doing it, that he did it years later against the Undertaker. That’s what he was talking about last week when he speared Orton and said now the fun begins because Edge owns Money in the Bank. And he’s gonna show everyone just how twisted he can be ’cause you wanna know what happens when a Viper runs into a guy with a 20 foot ladder? The Viper gets his head crushed before he can strike. And Edge is going to do that to every other participant in that match, and at the end of the match, they will all be staring up at him.

The infamous email sound comes up and Cole says that tonight’s main event will feature all eight Money in the Bank participants in an Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match! Edge, The United States Champion, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, and Randy Orton.

Next: Mark Henry v Sheamus

WWE Champion Sheamus vs Mark Henry

Mark Henry comes out with his rookie, Lucky Cannon, who goes backstage right after. The match starts with Sheamus gaining control until Henry shoves him. Sheamus and Henry exchange hits (if you wanna call it that), and Sheamus hits Henry with a DDT. He goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out a two. Sheamus drops his knee on Henry’s face, and then hits his chest a few times before going for another cover. Henry kicks out at two again. Sheamus gets Henry in a headlock, but then gets backed into a corner. As usual, Sheamus goes for Henry’s knee and tries to take him down with clotheslines before Henry hits one. Henry hits a splash a minute later, and goes for a cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Henry gets up, and Sheamus hits him with whatever his boot move is called, and then covers Henry for the win.

Sheamus wins!

Josh Matthews is now backstage with Nexus. He asks for their reactions to the General Manager’s ruling. Tarver says it goes both ways. They can be fired for attacking a Superstar, but the Superstars will be suspended if they attack Nexus. Besides, Nexus can still make an impact. To prove this point, Skip Sheffield seems to think it’ll be sufficient to knock out some tech guy who probably pissed his pants as soon as Sheffield looked at him. Darren Young says that’s what they mean, and Nexus laughs.

Still to come, our Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

“Money” by I Fight Dragons is the official Money in the Bank theme!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that tomorrow, a new DVD will be out. Before he says who the DVD is about, he wants to show us something.

Ricky Steamboat comes out, and Jerry says that a few more guys in the back want to say something. Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Mike Rotunda, and Micheal P.S. Hays come out to honor his career. They all say some really graet things about Ricky. When Steamboat goes to speak, the Nexus theme hits and they all come out. They surround the ring and then start to take out the legends in the ring one by one until it’s just them and Steamboat in the ring. Steamboat manages to put up a pretty good fight for about thirty seconds before Nexus overpowers him, and we see the same crap we’ve seen for what seems like forever now.

Reminder! Nexus just attacked the legends! Another reminder! The Superstars can’t attack Nexus or they’ll be suspended, which is why no one helped the legends! Realization: With Jerry gone, we now have to listen to Michael Cole scream “VINTAGE” and wet himself all night… Joygasm.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse vs Gail Kim and Eve Torres

Lucky for me, if you wanna put it that way, Michael Cole is joined by Josh Matthews. Anyway, Alicia and Eve start, some hits are exchanged, blah blah blah… I got really distracted by whatever Alicia was wearing, so all I know is that eventually, Gail came in and was doing pretty good, but something happened and Alicia hit an axe kick on Gail and won it for her and Maryse.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox and Maryse win!

Next up is the Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

Reminder! Last week, Nexus attacked Vince! Reminder!! About fifteen to thirty minutes ago, they attacked WWE Hall of Famers! Next week our slacker GM will determine the fate of Nexus.

Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match
The Rated R Superstar Edge, Chris Jericho, The United States Champion The Miz, and Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

Just because I’m having a moment and I don’t want this to go straight to the commercial thing, I’m going to have some theme song fun!!

You think you know me…

Break the walls down!!

AWESOME! I came to play!

It’s a new day! It’s a new generation!!

What’s up?… What’s up?

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

*Airplane noises*

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

DiBiase and Morrison start it off. DiBiase gets Morrison into the corner and Irish Whips him, but Morrison counters and throws DiBiase down. He gets DiBiase into a headlock and then moves to his corner, tagging in Truth.

Truth slaps DiBiase, who returns it witha punch. Truth then throws DiBiase over the top rope and tags in Bourne, who jumps off the apron and right into DiBiase before throwing him back into the ring. A few hard kicks get DiBiase off his feet. Bourne goes for a cover, but DiBiase kicks out at two and tags in Miz.

Miz gets flipped by Bourne almost immediately, and Bourne goes for a cover only for Miz to kick out at two. He punches Bourne and hits an Irish Whip, only to get hit by a kick to the face. Bourne slams into Miz and goes for the cover again, only for Miz to kick out at two. Bourne throws Miz across the ring and runs at him, only to get Miz’ shoulder in his face. Jericho distracts the ref as DiBiase hits Bourne. Miz tags in Jericho.

Jericho kicks Bounre and then drops him into the bottom rope, hitting a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring next. Edge drops down and hits Bourne while Jericho distracts the ref, and then Jericho goes out to throw Bourne back in. Jericho mocks Bounre before he pulls Bourne to the heel corner and tags Miz back in.

Miz stomps on Bourne a few times before putting his knee in Bourne’s spine. He then plants his knee in Bourne’s spine, lifting Bourne’s head, before slipping into a headlock. Bourne fights out and Miz goes for a suplex, but is kneed to the head by Bourne, who tags Morrison back in.

Morrison hits Miz with two clothesline, then Irish Whips him to a corner, hits a flying chuck, and sets up Starship Pain only for DiBiase to pull Miz out. Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes both out. He goes to throw Miz back in, but Jericho distracts the ref and Edge attacks Morrison.

During the break, Jericho rammed Morrison with a ladder and then feigned injury. Jericho and Morrison are still in the ring, but Morrison falls out of the ring after taking some blows from DiBiase. Jericho brings Morrison into the ring, and Morrison manages to cover Chris, who kicks out at two and in turn, covers Morrison. Morrison kicks out at two, and Jericho tags Edge in.

Edge knees Morrison in the gut, and Morrison fights back, hitting Edge a few times. Edge hits a drop toe-hold on Morrison, and holds onto Morrison’s ankle, pulling him back into the heel corner. Morrison starts to fight back, and Edge tags in DiBiase.

DiBiase hammers away on Morrison as soon as he gets in. When Morrison tries to get some momentum, DiBiase hits him with a scoop slam, locking a headlock on Morrison after. DiBiase then tags in Edge.

Edge flings Morrison into the corner, and Morrison kicks Edge only to get a big boot to the face. He goes into a corner and prepares for the Spear, but Morrison gets out of the way. Edge pulls Morrison back, and Morrison manages to hit an insagiri on the back of Edge’s head. Both are down before Edge tags in Jericho, and Morrison tags in Bourne.

Bourne hits a hurricanrana, then a missile dropkick, countering Jericho’s Irish Whip and hitting Jericho with some high kicks. He goes for a cover on Jericho, but Jericho kicks out at two. Bourne goes to the top rope, and Jericho is right behind him, hitting him. Jericho attempts a suplex, but Bourne gets his knee in Jericho’s face and pushes him down. Bourne goes for Air Bourne and misses it, instead hit with the Codebreaker. Jericho ends up having to tag in DiBiase as Bourne tags in Randy. Orton hits the RKO as soon as DiBiase is close enough.

Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and R-Truth win

After the match, Edge runs back into the ring and attacks Randy from behind. He also brings in a ladder. Truth goes in to help or something, but is hit by a ladder as well. John Morrison and Evan Bourne kick the ladder, sending Edge flying backward. Jericho attempts a Codebreaker or something, but Evan knocks him out of the ring. Morrison helps Bourne onto the top rope, where he flies right into Jericho. Meanwhile, Miz takes out Morrison back in the ring with a Skull Crushing Finale. With the ring cleared, he sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, starting a slow climb up it. Before he can grab the briefcase, Randy comes in and pushes it over, sending Miz right into the ropes. Randy then sets the ladder back up, climbing it and taking the briefcase for himself.

Overall Thoughts: Not too bad a show, though I don’t care what Nexus has planned anymore as long as they stay off my screen with it. Seriously, I’d rather watch Mark Henry try to rap again than anything else they have to do.

WWE Superstars

April 23, 2010 10:23 am Leave a Comment

Hey, my peeps! It’s time for another random Superstars review. I’ve been lazy lately and haven’t posted, so let’s get started.

Match 1: Shad Gaspard vs Goldust

Unfamiliar, generic music (kinda sounds like a hip-hop gospel music beat) hits and Stevie Ray…I mean Shad Gaspard comes out sporting some new Harlem Heat looking short trunks. Shad has the serious character going, but the look doesn’t quite fit. Shad pretty much dominates this match throughout, which is a good sign for him considering all of the releases yesterday. Another good sign for him and JTG is there strap match at Extreme Rules on Sunday. Goldust got in minimal offense in a quick spurt, but Shad picked up the win with the STO.

Video package showing NXT and their version of Rock em Sock em Robots. Skip Sheffield won this and his face was plastered all over WWE.com on Wednesday.

Match 2: Yoshi Tatsu vs Zack Ryder

With Kung Funaki released, Yoshi is now the resident Japanese guy in WWE. Ryder has dodged a bullet so far, but how long can he hang on to a job? I like the guy, but WWE writers don’t have anything for him minus the occasional Superstars match. I think a stable with him and the Dudebusters would be great. Yoshi wins with a Spinning Heel Kick from the top rope.

Main Event: Carlito w/Michael Tarver vs John Morrison

Carlito says despite being one of the few RAW superstars that actually made it to RAW this past week, he was disrespected and not put in a match. Out comes the Shaman of Sexy, the Friday Night Delight, the White Shadow John Morrison. Morrison is really getting a push on Smackdown…or so it seems. He had an outstanding match with Jack Swagger recently on Smackdown. Morrison gets the win with a Flying Chuck as Carlito was distracted by Michael Tarver.

See ya next week!

RAW results 3/22/10

March 23, 2010 3:45 am Leave a Comment

I think I’ve finally figured out the best way to do the Monday night shows. I watched iMPACT as it was airing, and I was able to find a copy of RAW within minutes of it ending. So since the only thing I know about tonight’s show is that Pete Rose is the guest host, without further adieu, let’s go!

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WWE SmackDown results 3/5/10

March 5, 2010 10:00 pm 2 Comments

Ah, SmackDown. I didn’t think I’d be reviewing this show anymore, but it just keeps coming back to me. Truth be told, I love covering the blue brand – Josh Matthews makes stupid faces, Matt Striker makes cool comments, and I don’t really have to wait for the show to come on to do my review. Yes folks, it’s 8AM on Friday, March 5th, and I’m here to review WWE Friday Night SmackDown!

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Empire State Wrestling 2/27/10

February 28, 2010 1:29 am 2 Comments

The alternate title for this article is “why independent wrestling is better than WWE and TNA.” I just got back from Empire State Wrestling’s “Reckoning Day” event. This is my fifth ESW event, and I’ve never been to a bad show. This one featured a World Tag Team Championship match with the team of Famous – Will “Mastiff” Calrissian and Chris Cooper – defending against Brandon Thurston and Mike Radski, and a Casket Match for the ESW Championship as Kevin Grace defended against Ryot.

Photos, thoughts, and a half-assed results list, after the jump! (more…)

SmackDown results 2/13/2010

February 13, 2010 3:10 am Leave a Comment

Holy crap, it’s a trifecta of ThinkSoJoE goodness this week! Perhaps I’ll do a “ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts” column this weekend and make it four! I do have a lot to talk about this week, so that’s always a possibility. Anyways, I watched SmackDown earlier, and hadn’t gotten online to get the message that Drow wouldn’t be here this week until just now, so I’ll do my best to relate to you what happened on tonight’s show. And if my memory is fuzzy, there’s always YouTube…

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Tag Archive: Video Package

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