There is no column for week, so this is the last time you will hear from me in 2009.
This piece would be a.. best of, so to speak. A year in review, if you will. However, with my new year’s plans, becoming reality in… 11 hours from now, and with preparation and packing underway as I type, I just don’t have the time, to write a massive piece.
However, and this I promise, the first column, typed from my fingers, thought of from my mind, will be right here, at BoredWrestlingFan.com, that I will guarantee.
Now, I leave you with the thought, that if Brett Favre didn’t exist. I would be odds-on to win my NFL Fantasy League. However, I’m now playing for third place.
Welcome to the War for this special occasion. Your Legend Killer is declaring war on the festive season. That means Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, plus any other celebration you can come up with for this holiday season.
First of all, I’m writing this on three hours sleep after pre-christmas drinks, so I’m as tired as tired can be.
The WWE boycott is running loud and proud at about five months. In all honesty, I have completely lost track of how long I haven’t watched. All I know is that the last thing I watched, was Shaq guest hosting RAW. That’s how long ago it’s been since I last watched, and to be honest, I don’t miss it. Now that I am in the process of receiving every WWF RAW and SmackDown! from 1998 and 1999. Oh, The good ol’ days.
Christmas is too expensive. Especially when buying presents for yourself.
If you want to buy me something for christmas, give me money. Money is always a wanted christmas present in my books.
D-Generation X. Destroying their legacy one stupid unfunny skit at a time. Remember when they made christmas time fun? Here’s the longer, but censored version. Censored, because they are soft.
Anyways, a short, but sweet War on Christmas, is proudly brought to you by a rather tired Legend Killer. That means, I’m ending this way too early. No time to talk about Hulk Hogan signing with TNA. No time to talk about Bret Hart signing with WWE. No time to talk about Tommy Dreamer’s departure from ECW. Just no time for that. Blame pre-Christmas drinks, and my ability to not sleep during any decent drinking session.
However, this is time to give you, last second advice, on what to buy the rest of the BWF staff. No screwjobs here, folks. Although, the aftermath of one can be seen here, here aaaaaaaaand … … … … here.
A tip for Drow. I wouldn’t just give her the tip, I’d give her the whole damn thing.
For Joe. Beard trimmers.
For JT. A cardboard cut-out of Velvet Sky.
For tharvey1. A capital ‘T’ for his name.
For Jason. A friend to watch ECW with.
For everyone else, there’s MasterCard.
From myself, and the rest of the crew that help me in my war, I’d like to wish all of you the best this holiday season, and hope that you all get coal, or doggy doo, or stuff of that nature in your presents. Tune in next week for the special New Year’s edition. The only place to start your New Year’s party, is right here at BoredWrestlingFan.com… oh, except that other place… you know the one.
Let’s start off with RAW, and Lillian Garcia’s final RAW. I have not seen this episode, nor will I, due to my boycotting of WWE programming.
Actually, that’s it. Infact, it’s going to be it for awhile. I am taking a leave of absence from BWF, so as I can catch up on other projects, and sort out other problems.
We start proceedings with the happenings of the WWE’s latest Pay-Per-View extravaganza, Breaking Point. The event was held in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, the home of the infamous screwjob at the 1997 Survivor Series, and this same event, included it’s own screwjob. CM Punk, the World Heavyweight Champion, controversially retained the title, after his opponent, the Undertaker had his win taken off him, due to an ‘illegal submission hold’. Smackdown! General Manager, Teddy Long, used an old rule implemented by Vickie Guerrero, and banned Undertaker’s Devil’s Triangle. The same move used to make CM Punk submit at Breaking Point. Using this technicality so to speak, means it gives Punk a chance to beat the Undertaker in a submission match, and it builds onto the next PPV, Hell In A Cell.
Jeff Hardy was arrested for drug possession. No wonder he wanted to leave the WWE.
Linda McMahon has resigned from the WWE, to concentrate on running to become a Senator in her home state of Conneticut. Good for her. I hope things work out well for her.
Onto TNA news, and TNA have announced the firings of BG James, and Jim Cornette. This is a bad move. Cornette is a mastermind when it comes to wrestling, and with BG James gone, this allows him to come back and be the third member in D-Generation X, which is just what we need.
No Surrender is this weekend, and Kurt Angle defends the TNA Heavyweight Championship against Matt Morgan, Sting and AJ Styles. My predictions will come later in the week, and I suggest that the rest of the BWF staff follow suit.
Song of the Week: From the album ‘Hulk Rules’ by the Wrestling Boot Travelling Band, it’s Track 4 from that album. I strangely enjoy this song.
Onto other news of the week.
South African athlete Caster Semenya, has been revealed to have both male and female sexual organs, making her a hermaphrodite. South African officals are unsure as to whether he/she is allowed to keep her 800m World Championships Gold Medal.
Kanye West has taken over John Edward as the biggest douche in the universe, after his stunt at the VMAs this past week.
I thought Jay Leno left the Tonight Show? Explain to me how his new show is different, except for the timeslot.
Both of my Yahoo Fantasy! NFL teams won this week. Cheer the mighty D-Crippilation X to victory!
Patrick Swayze passed away at age 57, after his 20 month battle with pancreatic cancer. Some people say he was a sex symbol at his age before his death. I say he was in Roadhouse, and cleaned house with Terry Funk. RIP.
Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Whitney Houston. According to one of his ‘sex slaves’, Osama would talk about Whitney all the time. Whitney responded in this manner. Then Tyra had to have her say. Finally, Danny Noriega had this to say.
That’s all for this week. Tune into BWF programming later in the week.
You expected all week for a Part Deux, but Charlie Sheen beat me to it. This is the War on Everything.
Welcome to the War for another week, here on the BWF network. The only column in the BWF network with it’s own theme song.
WWE programming is still being boycotted unfortunately, which means, that I now declare war on World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s about time, that it gets dragged from this kid-friendly infestation that it’s crawled itself into, and into an era that accommodates the fans that have there during its good and bad days, and the entirety of 1995. Now, the only way to declare war on Vinnie Mac and his kiddie carnival is by heading to the other side of the tracks, and supporting TNA, and ROH. By supporting the opposition, and losing interest in the McMahon family, then Vince will have to resort to what he knows works, and that’s pleasing the fans that supported him for so long. Then, maybe just maybe, the WWE shows a little attitude in his programming and everyone is happy.
Speaking of TNA, they have announced for the first time ever, they are touring my part of the world. Details can found at TNAWrestling.com. All that stands from me and seeing my first wrestling event ever, is the dollars required, and my ability to order decent tickets in time. With that said, I know people reading this have been to a TNA House Show before, so all I’m asking is, what should I expect to pay for tickets etc.?
My favourite RAW is WAR match of all time … Part One.
Let me leave the squared circle for just a moment, and add a few little tidbits to the column.
Why can’t I find NHL 10 on the xbox.com.au website? Does that mean it’s not coming out in Australia?
How do I make it, so it says ‘Click here to continue reading such and such …’? Why can everyone else do it and I can’t?
I’m picking up the Rise and Fall of WCW this week. Do I need to be warned of Buff Bagwell sightings?
What book should I read next? Bret Hart’s, William Regal’s, Batista’s or Andre the Giant’s?
Are unemployment benefits good for people if you’re having trouble finding new work, even though dealing with the company that provides the services, are a pain in the arse?
Can you tell I’m Australian, because I said arse, instead of ass?
The Survivor Series anthology is coming in November, although it looks like it’s coming in sections of four, rather than the box set the previous three have came in.
My favourite RAW is WAR match of all time … Part Two.
That’s all from the War this week. Stay tuned to BoredWrestlingFan.com throughout the week, and be sure to visit the forums and have your say. This has been the one the call ‘Legend Killer’, telling you, that not only is he Double C, but he wants you to staple gun his genitals to the wall, so we can both have a ball.
Before I begin this week, it seems that other columns on this site are getting rave reviews. Drow wrote a piece on the Casual vs Core wrestling fan, and JT’s Randomness always gets the people talking. Yet, nobody talks about this little piece unless I mention Brett Favre. Now I have, you watch them start talking about the new Viking. Speaking of Vikings, when’s Erik getting a start, or won’t Susan Sarandon let him?
Speaking of Brett, I am now turned off of SportsCenter’s NFL coverage because of everyone’s man-crush for #4. Hey ESPN, he isn’t that good. Green Bay won’t retire his number because he retires, and then magically comes back every year. He doesn’t do training camp, he doesn’t do any training, and yet everyone comes out and says ‘Oh, he’ll save the Minnesota Vikings, they’re now a superbowl team’.
First off, I am a better QB than Tavaris Jackson. Secondly, how does poor Sage Rosenfels feel now? He was traded from Houston, after being back-up to Matt Schaub, to Minnesota, in hopes of a starting spot, and yet, it looks like there’d be more of a chance he’d get a starting spot at the Texans, rather than where he is now, due to the Vikings’ obsession with someone whose five years away from adult diapers. Hagar the Horrible has resorted to alcohol, because he is angry, due toVikings signing Favre.
Not even Asterix can help us against Brett Favre. Or Lorne Greene.
You wanna know what Hulk Hogan’s doing these days? He’s supporting a fellow has been as this picture shows.
Although we all know why Brett went to Minnesota, don’t we?
Finally, I’ll tell you how good Favre is. Two years ago, I won a Fantasy NFL league at Yahoo! I drafted Favre after week 8, when I was 2-6. I won the next nine games, but I had to replace Favre, with Kurt Warner, due to Brett being rubbish. Warner led me through the playoffs, and the championship, whilst Mr. 38 year old at the time, sat on the bench.
This is the end of Part One, I must calm down. Favre-rage is flowing in my veins.
Fresh off my coverage of the 22nd SummerSlam, I’ve saved this time to recap the event.
The PPV as a whole was between average and good. I enjoyed what I saw of the first match between Mysterio and Ziggler, and all bar the ending of the TLC match for the World Heavyweight Championship, but other than that, I personally wasnt excited, even with the 16th return of D-Generation X.
I made up for the average 2009 version, by watching the 1998 edition of SummerSlam. Watching Jeff Jarrett get his hair cut by X-Pac and one-night only DX member, Howard Finkel, to Mankind defending the Tag Team titles unsuccessfully by himself against the New Age Outlaws to the Ladder match between Triple H and the Rock, and Stone Cold defeating the Undertaker for the WWF Championship.
Speaking of the WWE, I have decided to boycott all WWE programming until furhter notice, due to the sheer rubbish that it brings up every week. I will determine a return time in the future, but until then, I will not watch RAW, ECW or SmackDown!
Moving to the other side of the tracks so to speak, and this week on TNA’s iMPACT broadcast, history will be made. TNA President, Dixie Carter, will make her first appearance on the broadcast, and will make an announcement involving Bobby Lashley. Looks like another interesting iMPACT on the way (even though I already know what happens, thanks to the creator of these here parts).
Moving into the sporting world now, and former New York Giants Wide receiver Plaxico Burress was sentenced to two years prison for shooting himself pretty much. There goes him signing for the Eagles this year.
Brett Favre flunked in his first pre-season game wearing the Purple of the Minnesota Vikings. He went 1-4 with just 4 yards, in 2 sets of plays. First, the now fourth-string QB, John David Booty, gives his #4 to Favre, then Favre has 4 pass attempts, and gets 4 yards. I sense a pattern. The weird thing about all this? Brett Favre’s favourite number is 7.
For those who haven’t heard of Caster Semenya, well arent you in for a surprise. Semanya, won the Women’s 800m race at the IAAF Athletics Championships recently. However, she could be stripped of the Gold medal, as officals aren’t sure if 18 year old is infact, a female. Here’s a picture of her. I’ll let the BWF readers decide for themselves. Here’s more information on the story. If you still aren’t unsure, if you unjumble the letters of her full name ‘Caster Semenya’ you get ‘Yes, A secret man’. I think we just found JT’s latest girl.
RIP Sen. Ted Kennedy. He passed away Tuesday after a long battle with Brain cancer.
I’m looking to picking up the new Rise and Fall of WCW dvd. I hear good things.
That’s all for the War for another week. It looks like I’m recapping ECW again this week, as well as SmackDown! from last week. Unless of course, someone else picks up the slack. If they don’t, then they’ll be there by the end of the week.
Stay tuned to BWF throughout the week for your wrestling fix.
