Author note: Wow. I can’t believe it’s been an entire DECADE since the WCW brand became the property of World Wrestling Federation Entertainment, Inc. A few notes about this article. This is NOT a reprint – this review has never been posted elsewhere, and in fact was written on March 23, 2011. I tried my best to keep my vast knowledge of all things wrestling that have happened in the last 10 years out of this and write it from the perspective of somebody who may have been watching it as it aired on March 26, 2001. The other note is that I had initially pondered creating a graphic and category on the site for WCW Nitro – however I scrapped that idea, realizing that it was far too much work for a one off article. I hope you enjoy this look at the final Nitro, and I hope you feel just as old as I do when you think about the fact that it was ten years ago!
Earlier today, the headline on WWF.com read “WWF BUYS WCW.” What does this mean for Nitro? Will we find out tonight? We’re off and running from Panama City Beach, FL to find out!
SmackDown! is 600 episodes old! I can vividly remember the 500th – time flies, huh? Our main event is a massive 12-man tag-team match, and I’m sure we’ll get a few more surprises thrown in for good measure!
Tonight will also see Dolph Ziggler crowned as the new World Heavyweight Champion. I’m sure that will go smoothly! (more…)
Tonight, the odds have rarely been stacked higher for Edge, as the World Heavyweight Championship is up for grabs – and Vickie Guerrero is the special guest referee. Yikes!
Hello everyone, and welcome to coverage of the longest running weekly e-Nevermind. I wanted to sound all epic, but the voice in my head was Cole’s, and now I need brain bleach. Oh, and if you are on Twitter, @Niki_Sushi is a liar. Just so you all know. *wink!*
Anyway, this is an exciting RAW (I hope!) because it’s the RAW after the Royal Rumble! Who outlasted thirty-nine other men to be the winner of the first ever Forty Man Royal Rumble match?! And who walked out of the Royal Rumble WWE Champion? All those answers, and more, to come right now!
Tonight, we will have another Champion vs Champion match between World Heavyweight Champion Edge and WWE Champion, The Miz!
We start out RAW with Ricardo Rodriguez announcing Alberto del Rio. I believe he says something about a mariachi performance in celebration of Alberto del Rio’s victory. And that’s what happens. Ricardo leads them to the ring. Wait, is the mariachi band playing Alberto’s theme song? That’s great.
Rio takes the mic, silences the mariachi band, and says that his name is Alberto del Riooooooo!… but you already know that. You people never, never listen. He told us that it was his destiny to win the Royal Rumble, but we didn’t listen. That’s our problem. We never listen. (as the crowd yells What?) Tonight, we are going to celebrate Alberto del Rio. He’s going to headline Wrestlemania! Even if we don’t’ deserve it, because it’s a blue collar town, he hired the best mariachi in Mexico. This mariachi only plays for the Mexican president and Rio. This is not Justin Bieber’s music, this is real music. I concur. Anyway, he has something else really important to tell us: As the winner of the Royal Rumble, he can choose who he’s going to face at Wrestlemania: WWE Champion or the World Heavyweight Champion, and he has made his decision. And he’s going to tell us right now! The championship he will be going after at Wrestlemania will be the-
AWESOME!
WWE Champion The Miz comes out, Alex Riley in toe.
Miz says before Alberto makes his decision, he wants to say congratulations. Him winning the biggest Royal Rumble in the history, is impressive. Almost as impressive as The Miz’s winning against Randy three times after winning Money in the Bank. He just hopes that Rio chooses to face him. Miz says make no mistake about it, he’ll be the WWE Champion by the time Wrestlemania comes around. He can’t say the same about Edge, because he’s going to lose it at the Elimination Chamber. Last night, Miz saw Edge celebrating. He told everyone who would listen that he was going to embarrass Rio at Wrestlemania and mocking his accent, and his tie. Edge even said that Rio’s cars are all rental. Miz says that if he doesn’t believe Miz, he can ask Riley. Riley said that he gives Rio his word: Edge said he has no respect for a second-rate JBL meets Tito Santana.
Rio takes the mic and says that he knows Miz, and to him, this is a ploy to make him choose Edge instead of Miz. Is Miz lying to him? Miz says really? Really? Really? Listen, he took out Edge’s little buddy Christian. Edge is threatened, doesn’t like, and doesn’t respect Rio. He just thought he’d tell Rio the truth about Edge, talking behind his back.
You think you know me…
As Edge gets in, he plays one of the mariachi trumpets, and the guy laughs.
Edge says Alberto, Miz is right. He’s absolutely right. He doesn’t like or respect Rio. But, he’s wrong about one thing. He wouldn’t say those things behind his back, he’d come out and say them to his face. See, Edge will be champion at Wrestlemania, and if Rio chooses to face him, he will beat him. He will because he’s the Rrrrrated R Superstarrrr. But, you already knew that, didn’t you?
Rio says that the only think he knows is that it is his destiny to be the greatest of the great and at Wrestlemania he will be the new World Heavyweight Champion. Edge says congratulations, and to take this with you. He then hits Rio, and looks at Miz, who leaves the ring with the mariachi, who are not going to lose their instruments. Rio comes back and kicks Edge before grabbing a guitar, which he then breaks on Edge’s back, before locking in the cross-arm breaker. Edge appears to be tapping, but there’s no ref, no match, and Alberto finally lets go.
Ha. The mariachi were playing his theme!! I’m like… 95% sure.
Coming up, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov will take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi OKay. Del Rio dissed the Biebtard. He’s not as obnoxious in my mind now. #BWF #RAW
@JonHexLives I kind of want to see The Miz vs, Alberto Del Rio in a faux hawk throwdown. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@seraphalexiel Alberto will be pissed if Edge loses the belt at the Elimination Chamber…..
@CMPunkSays Del Rio: “You never listen!” Crowd: “WHAT?!” #CantMakeThisShitUp #WWE
@StrikerSays LOLOLOL, “Alberto Pendejo” sign! I like that they are in RI, so obviously the arena staff didn’t know what it meant, and didn’t confiscate.
“Tonight, for the first time ever, we’re going to have a RAW Rumble match. Seven Superstars will participate. T he winner of the RAW Rumble match, will go on to face the WWE Champion at the Elimination Chamber PPV. The remaining six will be in the Elimination Chamber itself. The participates in the RAW Rumble match are Randy Orton, CM Punk, John Morrison, R-Truth, Sheamus, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and John Cena.”
WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina vs Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Marella and McGuillicutty start out, and Santino gets McGuillicutty on the ground before locking in a headlock on McGuillicutty, who runs him into the corner. Santino lets go, but McGuillicutty hits him with a couple of punches and a kick before being forced off by the ref. He then runs to jump on Santino, but Santino move sand tags in Kozlov. Kozlov powers McGuillicutty right into the corner, hitting him with some hard shoulders, before McGuillicutty goes after his knee then kicks him in the head. McGuillicutty keeps him on the ropes before tagging Harris in. Harris keeps him in the corner, then Kozlov pushes him off before Kozlov gets him down and goes for a cover, but Harris kicks out. Kozlov powers Harris over to his own corner and tags in Santino. Santino does something, but Harris shoves him across the ring and then kicks him. Harris then spends his time getting Santino up, and Santino tries to Whip him, but Husky counters, and meets Santino’s offense with a shoulder. Harris shoves Santino in the corner, tags in McGuillicutty, and then throws McGuillicutty into Santino, followed by Harris. McGuillicutty goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Something happens, but the replay is too big-there we go. McGuillicutty hits a neckbreaker and goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out at two. Santino is thrown out by McGuillicutty, and Tamina goes over to check on him.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 YES! Jerry The King Lawler…one more time in the Raw Rumble! …but how did R-Truth get on that list? #RAW #WWE #BWF
@CMPunkSays By the way, you are now imagining Jerry Lawler in the Elimination Chamber. #WWE
@HitTheRopes R-Truth? What the phuck? It doesn’t need to be an equal opportunity chamber! #wwe
@KeepItFiveStar R-TRUTH?! R-TRUTH!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE HASN’T WON A MATCH IN LIKE A MONTH!
@Niki_Sushi ‘Ruthless’ is glitterfied on McGillicutty’s ass. I can no longer take him seriously. #BWF #RAW
We come back to McGuillicutty trying to pin Santino for the cover. McGuillicutty has Santino in a headlock across the ring from Kozlov, and Santino fights to get to Kozlov, but McGuillicutty is trying to keep him back. They both get to their feet, but McGuillicutty hits a hard forearm on Santino. McGuillicutty tries to hit Kozlov, but Kozlov hits back, and Santino gets a hit on McGuillicutty. Harris and Kozlov are tagged in and Kozlov dominates Harris, going for a cover until McGuillicutty breaks it up. McGuillicutty this a missile dropkick and Santino tags himself in, sending McGuillicutty over the top rope. Santino then hits the Cobra on Harris and pins him for the win.
WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall.
After the match, Randy runs down the ramp out of nowhere and RKOs McGuillicutty and Harris for costing him the title last night. He looks up toward the ramp before walking around inside the ring and facing the ramp. Orton looks off to the side and takes a moment to glare at the crowd before looking at Harris’ unconscious body. He looks down at Harris and backs away, standing in the corner, watching Harris, setting up for the punt.
CM Punk, however, interrupts.
He tells Randy not to do that as he, Otunga, and Mason Ryan come out. Punk tells him again not to do it. Punk says that Orton doesn’t want to do this, nothing he wants to be a part of. It’s nothing he would do. Punk asks if he has to say please, and Randy look like he could care less if Punk says please. Punk says he’s not going to beg, but take some advice, for once in his life: Don’t do it. If Orton kicks Harris in the skull, there will be serious consequences and repercussions. Orton really doesn’t look like he cares, and Harris is teasing us about getting the fuck up. Randy stops, however, and looks back at Punk. He then moves out of that position, hangs his head, and looks back at Punk. He looks to the crowd, who cheers (sick bastards), and then back at Harris, and then the other side of the arena, then back at Punk. He smirks, laughs, drops it, and then drops back in the corner, punting Harris in the skull.
Punk, Otunga, and Ryan all take off after him, but Randy slithers on out, running through the crowd and up to the top, rather nicely silhouetted against the darkness there. There is a staring match between Punk and Orton now, as Orton’s music plays.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Randy won’t cave to an implied threat from CM Punk! Don’t worry, Mulligans have HARD heads! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Why can’t Randy Orton just talk it out with people? It’s always RKOs with him
@CMPunkSays NOT Have you ever herped a derp so hard that you jobbed to the Cobra? #WWE
@ForrestFuller Why not punt Micheal Cole instead of Husky Harris #WWE #RAW #BWF
Ted DiBiase is joined by Maryse, still, and has a mic. This’ll be good.
Ted says that it doesn’t thrill him to say it, but King’s career is over. And his, his is just getting started. King doesn’t need any more opportunities. It’s time for guys like him to step aside for the future. So, why doesn’t he do the right thing, for the future, and give him his spot for tonight’s RAW Rumble? King takes off his headset and grabs a mic, but Cole snatches it. Cole says he’ll handle it. Cole then says that Ted is being disrespectful. Has Ted ever met King? He’s a legend, a Hall of Famer. He’s heard of the Showstopper, right? King is the Scene Stealer. There’s no way that he’s going to let his selfish, narcissistic ego take himself out of the match to give it to DiBiase. It won’t happen. King takes the mic and says he’s gonna tell both of them something: he’ snot giving his spot up in the RAW Rumble to anybody. His Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction. He’s been in the WWE 18 years, and he’s never been to Wrestlemania. And, as far as he’s concerned, his Road to Wrestlemania starts tonight, and if it wasn’t for Cole, he may be WWE Champion right now. He knows he can beat the Miz, and he’s gonna be in the RAW Rumble, and he’s gonna win it. Ted then hits King and moves with Maryse. King then follows Teddy, but Ted moves Maryse in front of him, preventing King from hitting Ted. Maryse, on the other hand, is not amused. Ted can’t think of a good enough excuse, so Maryse slaps him. Then, King punches Ted. Poor DiBiase’s having a bad night… And Cole now lectures King, and King says he’s about to shove his fist so far down Cole’s throat they’ll be afraid to remove it. He’s beginning to not care if he gets fired…
Later on tonight, The Miz will take on Edge!
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Maryse with the Princess Peach slap then Jerry Lawler with the Falcon Punch! Ted DiBiase just got Melee’d!
@TKeep123 Love me some Maryse! Looking even HOTTER, if that’s possible!! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Even R-Truth’s photo looks like he doesn’t belong in the RAW Rumble. It’s like “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Lawler, I guess. And REALLY??”
@kickoutblog FALCON PAAAWWWWNNNNNCH!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: 2.21.11 Something is coming up…. All we saw was a man in black walking up to a shack in the rain…>
United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs Tyson Kidd
The Bellas are talking, but I don’t’ care. Bryan and Kidd are fighting, Gail ringside, and Kidd gets a good early advantage. Does anyone remember when he had that big guy? Me neither. Kidd goes for a quick cover, but Bryan kicks out two. Kidd puts Bryan in a headlock, but Bryan shoves him off and does a lot of really fancy things. Bryan delivers some hard hits to Kidd, and the camera keeps going to the FUCKING BELLAS, Kidd does some stuff, Bryan tries to lock in the LaBell lock, does, and Kidd taps out.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via pinfall.
Gail hugs Bryan and joins him in his celebration before the Bellas climb into the ring. One of them hits Bryan, Gail shoves her, and insert the same freaking cat fight we’ve seen for too long already. It takes two refs holding the Bellas, and Bryan holding Gail to break it up.
Up next, The Miz and Edge will go one on one!
<COMMERCIAL>
@CMPunkSays IT’S LIKE I’M REALLY WATCHING MEAN GIRLS #WWE
@Niki_Sushi I think Gail just ripped out some extensions and killed a bird. #BWF #RAW #justoneleft
@kickoutblog I already love 2.21.11, WWE hasn’t done anything like this since Jericho’s return.
@redsandman99 How can anyone blame Daniel Bryan for choosing Gail over the Bellas. I’d punt those bitches Orton style for her
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last night, WWE Champion The Miz eliminated John Cena.>
I saw people in the front row with four signs spelling out AWESOME. Loved it.
WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge
Miz and Edge lock up, and shove one another away. Then they lock up again, and Edge locks Miz in a headlock, but Miz fights out and gets an elbow to the face, followed by one by the back of the head. Edge Whips Miz, but Miz counters and Edge counters with a neckbreaker. Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Edge beats Miz into a corner and hits him a few times. The replay is starting to piss me off. Edge has an advantage over Miz, pulling him in a headlock between the ropes. Edge Whips Miz, who is pulled out of the ring by Riley. Edge grabs him, but Miz drops Edge’s shoulder onto the top rope. He pulls Edge out of the ring and sends him into the steel steps. Miz pulls Edge to his feet and throws him back in the ring, going for a cover. Edge kicks out at two. Miz plants his knee in Edge’s spine before twisting himself around Edge and putting his injured arm in a submission. Edge fights to his feet and punches Miz in the head, but Miz drops down, essentially giving Edge’s arm a stunner before going for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz then puts Edge’s shoulder through the ropes, and Riley punches Edge. Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out, so Miz returns to a submission on Edge’s shoulder. Edge fights to his feet, and punches Miz a few times, but Miz puts his knee in Edge’s stomach. Edge returns the favor by putting his heel in Miz’ jaw. Edge then starts to do something, but Miz counters, dropping Edge to the mat, and returning to the submission on Edge’s shoulder. Edge fights to the bottom rope.
Space! Miz goes to hit Edge, but Edge fights back and tries to steal a victory, but Miz fights out. Edge and Miz meet, and then Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz sends Edge’s arm right back to the mat, then puts his knee in Edge’s shoulder and stretches the arm out. Edge fights out of it, and Whips Miz, but Miz kicks Edge, and then the two kick one another in the face. The ref begins his count. Miz is up to his feet, as is Edge at eight. Miz runs for Edge, but Edge drops him on his face. Edge then drops Miz again, and Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Edge kicks Miz in the stomach and then Whips him, but Miz counters,. Edge goes for another cover, but Edge kicks out, and then Miz kicks Edge in the face, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz gets on the apron and climbs up on the top rope, standing up and dropping down, only to get a boot to the stomach. Edge then drops Miz on his face. Edge backs up into the opposite corner, setting up for the Spear. Miz gets up to his feet, and Edge tries for the Spear, but Miz sends him into the post.
John Cena says that Miz can do it and says there’s a party, and that they’re just cheering for him. Miz starts to talk to him, and Cena gets the arena doing a Miz is Awful chant, before Edge Spears Miz.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@CMPunkSays FALL IN A HOLE, CENA. A DEEP HOLE. A HOLE THAT REACHES THE EARTH’S CORE. #WWE
@bethsharae Stupid Cena…you got the chant wrong. It’s Miz is Awesome! #Raw
@kickoutblog Once again, the “good guys” cheat to win. Edge with an illegal move and Cena interfered! Should be a DQ win for Miz!
Stone Cold Steve Austin will return to WWE to host Tough Enough in April!
I’m feeling like this is a Smackdown invasion again…
Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that while Edge may have won tonight, but his chances of winning Friday are next to impossible. Friday, the World Heavyweight Championship will be defended in a way that it never has been before, so please join them. Whatever. Oh, hell, it’s our Surprise Champion!
WWE Diva’s Champion Eve and Natalya vs LayCool
Really, Natalya? I wouldn’t have tagged with her. Tell her to find someone else. Oh, wait, there is no one else… For the first time ever, I’m so sick of Eve and Natalya, I want LayCool to win.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Earlier today, LayCool decide that it was the ref’s fault about last night, and make up. Damn it.>
Natalya and McCool start out and Natalya goes for an early cover, followed by another, but McCool pulls out. Natalya keeps an advantage over McCool until McCool gets away and tags in Layla. Natalya walks toward Layla, who drops to the mat and curls up. Natalya touches her and she squirms. Natalya then picks her up and she gets onto her feet and pushes Natalya. Layla then runs over and attaches herself to McCool between the ropes, and turns around to get a kick from Natalya. Natalya suplexes her, and goes for the cover, but Layla kicks out. Natalya Whips Lay, and then Eve clotheslines her. Eve finally actually does something, and hits a handspring moonsault before going for a cover and Layla kicks out. Layla kicks Eve, and Eve runs her across the ring and onto the top turnbuckle. Natalya distracts the ref, and McCool kicks Eve. Layla hits the Face Lift off the turnbuckle and pins Eve for the win.
LayCool win via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Michelle’s boot seems to have knocked some accent BACK into Layla’s mouth! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi Goddamn you, RAW. I don’t want LayCool. I just want Lay. Cool can go hang out with Cole and Del Rio in the corner. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog “Your big foot” = LOL
OH MAH GOODNESS! IT’S THE GIANT JOBBER SQUAD!
The Great Khali and Mark Henry vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso
Oh, well. No matter who wins, this is kind of humiliating… Josh Matthews has joined Michael Cole as King has gone to get ready for his match.
“As I see the Usos stand across the ring from the Great Khali and the WSM, let’s face it: they don’t have a chance. So, to give the Usos a more competitive advantage, I’ve decided to alter the contest, and these two teams will compete in a dance off. Each team will have the opportunity to strut their stuff, and you, the WWE Universe will have the chance to decide who is the winner. Gentlemen, let’s boogie, woogie, woogie.”
I hate. The. GM.
You know what? I started to review this. I don’t know why. But now, I have a headache. If the WWE Universe loves me, they will know that Khali and Henry can’t dance, and will accept that the Usos won. I hate this. I HATE THI-
That works. The Usos attack Khali and Henry, and then are met by a Punjabi Plunge and the World’s Strongest Slam, and Khali goes for a cover. Poor thing.
<COMMERCIAL>
@StrikerSays Sorry Usos, apparently the Bellas are the only ones with “twin magic.”
@HitTheRopes Amazing that I was just defending Raw last night to someone who can’t stand WWE. Then we get a dance off. #LeSigh
@KeepItFiveStar When The Usos smiled you could tell they died on the inside
@FrankWWEClown I just threw up in my mouth watching Michael Cole dance. #WWE
@TKeep123 Mark Henry rocking the Bollywood Dance??? Kill me now. #RAW #WWE #BWF
@JonHexLives The Usos are straight jobbers now. #WWE #RAW #BWF
The Shack/rain/leather person promo for 2.21.11 plays again.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The world premiere of the trailer for The Chaperone.>
YAY RAW HATES ME!
RAW Rumble Match: Winner faces The Miz for the WWE Championship at Elimination Chamber, and the other Six will be in the RAW Elimination Chamber match.
When thrown over the top rope, and both feet touch the floor (MORRISON), you lose. I. Hate these kinds of things.
<COMMERCIAL>
@seraphalexiel Kidnapping a wrestler’s loved one is apparently WWE films’ recipe for success
@kickoutblog What is WWE’s obsession with dancing? Just put Kozlov on Dancing With The Stars and be done with it.
@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!
@HitTheRopes JoMo and the ‘E would have been SO pissed if one of them fans got their hand in the way during that spot last night
ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY
1) John Morrison – Sheamus
2) Sheamus – King and John Cena
3) John Cena – King
4) CM Punk – Randy Orton
5) R-Truth – John Cena
6) Jerry “The King” Lawler – WINNER
7) Randy Orton – R-Truth
I can’t cover this very well, but I’ll give you the interesting stuff. JoMo and Sheamus give us pretty good one-on-one wrestling action, same as their matches, really. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse Backbreaker on JoMo and then freezes everything as Cena comes out.
Cena comes in, obviously furious about being eliminated last night and takes it out on Sheamus. Cena goes to hit an Attitude Adjustment, and Morrison manages to land on his feet instead of getting hit by it.
Punk gets in and immediately cleans house, taking on anyone and everyone who gets in his way. Punk and Morrison are clinging to the ropes like monkeys or something, but stay in.
Truth comes in and immediately takes on his “friend” Cena. What a shitty friend. I’m just saying. Truth and Morrison both nearly eliminate the other, but hang on, and Truth can’t get his black ass back in the ring. He finally does, nearly costing Sheamus his chance to beat the shit out of him.
Jerry runs out and Punk waited for him, and then King punches every-damn-body. Three of the four corners have people getting ready to be dumped out.
Punk runs out of the ring, under the bottom rope, when Randy hits the ring. Randy’s looking for him. And guesses where he is before getting into the ring, looking under the ring. He wants Punk. Orton grabs Punk’s ankle, yanks him out from under the ring and proceeds to beat the shit out of him. Punk gets into the ring and then Randy follows, and finally enters the RAW Rumble.
Punk was the first man eliminated, by Orton, followed right after by Orton, who was eliminated by Truth. Truth nearly got venom spit in his face.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar That’s why R-Truth doesn’t deserved to be in the damn match. He almost got eliminated by the ropes. He probably thinks Parkour is a dance
@StrikerSays R-Truth doesn’t even RUN to the ring, he fucking SKIPS. He makes me want to punch unicorns.
@Niki_Sushi Sheamus has his hand ALL the way up John’s ass. Cole 2.0? #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Orton takes out Punk…and R-truth takes out Orton! Tooth is a dead man! :} #RAW #WWE #BWF
Good news is, no one else was eliminated during the commercial. Bad news is, I literally just saw King’s hands all over Truth’s ass. Ew.
King and Morrison are working together to try to get rid of Truth, but he won’t budge. Cena grabs Truth and Morrison on his shoulders and goes to eliminate them both, but only manages to eliminate Truth. Morrison gets Cena on the apron, and the two duke it out, both teetering on the edge. Sheamus runs over and tries to clothesline them both, but they move, and Sheamus holds on, and JoMo starts slapping his damn hands. Sheamus is responsible for Cena getting back in the ring.
Morrison pulls another shit-tacular Parkour move and he hooks his ankles in the bottom rope and keeps himself fin the match. Goes to eliminate Sheamus, but Sheamus catapults himself right onto Morrison.
Cena puts Sheamus in an STF, and Sheamus taps. Like a tard.
Morrison hits Starship Pain, and literally only hits Cena with one arm. What the fuck.
King throws Morrison out, but he keeps himself in by touching the floor with his hands only.
Morrison is out courtesy of a Brogue Kick from Sheamus. Thanks, Sheamus.
Sheamus throws King into Cena and eliminates Cena, and then Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, only for Cena and King to move the rope so that Sheamus eliminates himself.
Sorry folks, this is Kiharu (@Niki_Sushi) typing at you, because TheMizMagnet is spitting flames at this end. So this is me saying good night, and thanks for reading this review! Tune in next week for…well, more RAW.
@TheMizMagnet JSODGIJRPOWIGJPOIFJ PDOI APOI OSIDJFPOEWI POI A LVKJDPOI EW OAIJFDA OWIEWR *ragequits*
Hey! That’s right, something before RAW?! Yeah. I decided at the beginning of the Royal Rumble match to do a real quick rundown of the Royal Rumble. This is not going to be anywhere near as long as the usual RAW Reviews, and it’s not going to be as detailed. The backstage segments may be out of order, but I barely paid attention to them…
Edge vs Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship
So Edge comes out, we’re reminded that he can’t use the Spear or he loses the Championship, and then Vickie comes out, reminds us, and introduces Dolph. The match goes on for a while and was a pretty decent match. I didn’t expect it to be, but it turned out to be. Vickie got on the apron and slapped Edge, but Kelly Kelly, of all fuckin people, came out and took her out. Dolph locked in a sleeper, and during Edge’s wild flailing to get out of it, he slapped the ref, and knocked him down. So, Edge hit a quick Spear when no one was looking (except the whole audience), and then locked in the Killswitch (or the Unprettier) for the win.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.
There’s a small segment backstage with WWE Champion The Miz saying that he’ll win, and Riley backs him up.
The Miz with Alex Riley vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
Randy gets an early advantage, but Riley interferes and Miz gets it. Match was pretty decent, with Riley interfering a good amount, and The Miz about to walk out before Randy stopped that idea with a harsh clothesline. It ended, surprisingly, with Nexus coming out to stand by the ring. Riley came in to try to get Randy, but was thrown out onto Nexus and the ref, and then Punk came up from underneath the ring and hit the Go To Sleep on Orton, and dragged Miz over for the cover.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.
Gail Kim was backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bellas faked an apology and then attacked.
Natalya vs LayCool in a Two-on-One Handicap Match for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Before the match can get started, the RAW GM says that he’s gotten enough emails about Cole being annoying (“That’s just a joke!”), and won’t get more about LayCool, so this is now a Fatal Four Way. NO! IT WASN’T AWESOME KONG’S DEBUT, OR EVEN BETH! IT WAS!!!!!!!
Natalya vs Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Eve Torres for the WWE Diva’s Championship
You read that right. Anyway, the match was alright, kind of, and then Eve pinned Layla as McCool pinned Natalya. However, ref was looking at Eve and Layla.
WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.
Michelle was pissed.
Then, the Royal Rumble match (and there was a thing at some point about how “Dashing” Cody Rhodes had an official statement about his not making it, thanks to Rey’s knee brace breaking his face nose.) started.
ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY
1) CM Punk
I have to stop here. Punk came out, and then the Corre’s music hit, and then the Corre surrounded Punk, and then the New Nexus came in and it was a mini-brawl. Essentially, the RAW GM told them that this was not how the Royal Rumble match was going to start and sent them all (minus Punk) back to the back to wait their turns.
1) CM Punk – John Cena
2) United States Champion Daniel Bryan – David Otunga
3) Justin Gabriel – Daniel Bryan
4) Zack Ryder – Daniel Bryan
5) William Regal – Ted DiBiase
6) Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) – Nexus
7) John Morrison – Nexus
8) Yoshi Tatsu – Mark Henry
9) Husky Harris – The Great Khali
10) Chavo Guerrero – Mark Henry
11) Mark Henry – Nexus
12) JTG – Michael McGuillicutty
13) Michael McGuillicutty – John Cena
14) Chris Masters – Nexus
15) David Otunga – John Cena
16) Tyler Reks – Nexus
17) Vladimir Kozlov – Punk
18) R-Truth – Punk
19) The Great Khali – Mason Ryan
20) Mason Ryan – John Cena
21) Booker T – Mason Ryan
22) John Cena – The Miz
23) Hornswoggle – Sheamus
24) Tyson Kidd – John Cena
25) Heath Slater – John Cena
26) Kofi Kingston – Randy Orton
27) Jack Swagger – Rey Mysterio
28) Sheamus – Randy Orton
29) Rey Mysterio – Wade Barrett
30) Wade Barrett – Randy Orton
31) Dolph Ziggler – The Big Show
32) Diesel – Wade Barrett
33) Drew McIntyre – The Big Show
34) Alex Riley – John Cena
35) The Big Show – Ezekiel Jackson
36) Ezekiel Jackson – Kane
37) Santino Marella – Alberto del Rio
38) Alberto del Rio – WINNER
39) Randy Orton – Alberto del Rio
40) Kane – Rey Mysterio
There were a lot of hijinks in the ring during the match. The Miz ran into the ring, after sitting commentary since Alex Riley entered the Rumble, and eliminated Cena after Cena eliminated Riley. Hornswoggle copied a lot of moves, and a lot of the people lasted longer than they may have seemed to. It wasn’t a hugely, wildly spectacular match, but it was alright.
Hello everyone! I know I missed RAW last week, and I’m terribly sorry about that, but I’m back tonight! Who was that mysterious man who joined Nexus at the end of last week’s RAW? What wonderful news will we hear from the RAW General Manager tonight? I don’t know, but I did hear a rumor that it’s supposed to be the World Heavyweight Champion, Edge, against the WWE Champion, The Miz tonight. Champion vs Champion! Melina and Natalya are also going head to head for the Diva’s Championship!
Oh yeah! The Royal Rumble is this Sunday! Forty men are going to compete for the first time ever! Thank God I’m not covering it. You all know how I love multiple-party matches. Anyway, it’s bound to be good!
Tonight’s show is brought to you by:
You think you know me…
Damn! I don’t have any Edge pictures to use!
The World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring to kick off RAW for us! He says that he doesn’t feel like waiting. He’s never liked waiting, he’s never had a lot of patience. He doesn’t like waiting at the DMV, for the guy at the supermarket to pay by check, he doesn’t like waiting for the guy in front of him at security at the airport to realize his metal belt is made of metal, and he’s sick of waiting in vain for Michael Cole to stop being a tool. So, why doesn’t the Miz just come out here now–?
“Edge, I know you’re very anxious to have your Champion vs Champion match against The Miz, but I have officially schedule that attraction for later tonight. Fortunately for you, I haven’t forgotten about your disrespect when you were a superstar on RAW. That’s why I’ve arranged a special exhibition for you right now. Whichever one of these men tosses you over the top rope will receive the advantageous position of Number 40 at this Sunday’s Royal Rumble. Ring the bell.”
Jack Swagger, Tyson Kidd, and Drew McIntyre make their way down to try to get the position. Tyson Kidd is quickly eliminated by Edge, and Drew McIntyre takes advantage. McIntyre almost gets Edge out, but Swagger breaks it up and Edge sends him over the top. Now, it’s just McIntyre and Edge, but Edge manages to eliminate McIntyre too!
Edge wins.
Edge takes the mic and thanks the anonymous RAW General Manager for getting his juices flowing. He says he’ll go to the back and get ready for his match with The Miz, but first, he wants to do something. He slowly climbs out of the ring, and says that it’s something he did last time on this show. Then, he asks who here wants to see a smashed laptop computer? The crowd cheers, King says he does, and Cole says he doesn’t. Cole gets up and tries to protect the laptop, trying to talk sense into Edge. But, Edge is a nonsensical, crazy man. Common sense doesn’t work.
Damn. The old Nexus theme is back. I miss Punk’s already.
Punk, Otunga, Harris, McGuillicutty, and the mystery man from last week make their way down to the ring. As they make their way into the ring, Edge stands by the laptop, watching them. McGuillicutty passes Punk a mic.
Punk takes it, saying that in this world, only the strong survive, and the strong survive just not from being strong, they don’t survive just from sheer will power, they survive because they evolve. Last week, it was announced that the Royal Rumble match will have forty Superstars, making it the biggest Royal Rumble match in the history of the Royal Rumble. So, as he sees his surroundings change, he adapts, because he is change. He sees the Royal Rumble expand, so the new Nexus evolves. Last week, we saw the new Nexus expand with the inclusion of the mystery Batista. He was hand-picked by Punk from Cardiff, Wales, and he is Mason Ryan. Funny how Punk’s hand-picked guy kicked him in the face.
Mason takes the mic and says he only has one thing to say: Faith.
Punk says that he doesn’t think he could have said it more eloquently. Faith. These men we see are bonded by faith, and unlike John Cena, and the faithless, fake, poor-man’s Nexus on Smackdown!, their faith, come Sunday, will be rewarded. Because they will unite for the common good, for one common goal, and that is for CM Punk to become the winner of the 2011 Royal Rumble Match. Nexus nods along, but will they stay faithful? Punk says that when he wins the 2011 Royal Rumble, he will not only go on to headline Wrestlemania, but the new Nexus will become the most powerful group the WWE has ever laid eyes on.
We are interrupted by the Corre, made of Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Ezekiel Jackson. Barrett explained on Smackdown! That he is not the leader of this group; it is a group of equals.
Barrett says to clarify something: the only poor man’s Nexus is the new Nexus. The Corre is nothing like the Nexus. It’s not some brainwashing dictatorship, it’s about four equals. Zeke says at the Royal Rumble, they will try to win the match for themselves, they will unite to make sure to eliminate CM Punk. Mason Ryan jumps in front of Punk and gets in Zeke’s face (never a good idea), and the two have a stare down.
“If I’m going to give Smackdown! Superstars an open invitation to come to RAW, they will have to play by my rules. With Teddy Long unfortunately sidelined, I have the authority to make this very special match. Corre member and former Nexus leader Wade Barrett will face current Nexus leader CM Punk. Whoever loses will see himself, and his entire group, out of the Royal Rumble match. And gentlemen, one last thing: The special guest referee for this Barrett vs Punk match tonight will be someone you’re both extremely familiar with. The guest referee will be John Cena.”
So… Who’s more screwed?
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Yeah, Zeke scares me more than Beardtistacles. #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 OMG.. Mason Ryan is the love child of Batista and Wade Barrett!!! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@JonHexLives I’ve finally figured it out. A computer program is the general manager. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar The Corre looks weird without any shirts or armbands. And Ezekiel Jackson just looks scary.
@seraphalexiel We’re the Corre. We promote bad spelling and Heath Slater. Of course you should get behind us
@HitTheRopes Okay, shake the ropes violently, Mason Ryan. Go ahead. You know you want to. #WWE
@kickoutblog Well that worked out best: Swagger, Kidd or McIntyre as #40 would’ve been incredibly anticlimactic. #RAW
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, Mark Henry wins the mini-Royal Rumble.>
John Morrison and Mark Henry vs. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio
The match starts with Rio and Morrison starting it off. The two lock up, and Rio gets Morrison in the corner already. The ref separates them, but Rio kicks back quick, throwing Morrison face-first into the turnbuckle, and then staying on him. He drags Morrison over to his corner and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus takes advantage and starts to throw Morrison into the other turnbuckle, but Morrison fights back hard, putting Sheamus in a head scissors and then hitting him with a dropkick before Morrison kicks out of the quick cover. Sheamus fights back and then tags in Rio. Rio Whips Morrison cross the ring, but Morrison ducks his clothesline and fights back well. Morrison gets advantage over Rio, but Sheamus pulls him out of the ring as Morrison goes for Starship Pain.
<COMMERCIAL>
@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!
@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!!!!
@Niki_Sushi Is anyone surprised? I believe we’ve seen more of Smackdown than RAW for the past two weeks.. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio are the greatest foreign tag team since The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff. #RAW
@TKeep123 That singlet does nothing to enhance Mark Henry’s …ummmm…. masculinity. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Alexx_Raven: Morrison: Once you go black… You never go back.
@kickoutblog Pot O’Gold is the best suggestion I’ve seen so far for a Del Rio/Sheamus team.
We come back to Rio and Morrison in the ring, and Rio has Morrison in a headlock. Morrison fights out, but Rio drops him onto his head, and sends his knee repeatedly into Morrison’s spine. He goes into a quick cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Rio drags Morrison to his corner, but Morrison fights his way back to the middle, only to get a sharp elbow to the spine. Rio tags in Sheamus, and Sheamus plays it to the crow-HOLY CRAP MICHAEL “SOUL EATER” TARVER IS WATCHING BACKSTAGE!
Anyway, Sheamus hits a clothesline on Morrison, and then stretches Morrison out. Sheamus gets Morrison into the middle of the ring, goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus fights Morrison pretty hard, and then gets Morrison in another submission. Morrison struggles to fight out, hitting a swift kick before trying to gain momentum. Sheamus, however, plants Morrison, and goes for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out at two. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, but Morrison hits the flying Chuck. Both men are down in the middle of the ring and their partners reach for them.
Rio and Henry make their way in, and Henry drops his fist onto Rio’s head before head butting him a couple of times. Henry Whips Rio across the ring, and then bulldozes him, going for a cover. Sheamus breaks up the count, and Henry takes exception to this, sending Sheamus into the corner before he clotheslines Rio. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick, but Morrison comes in and hits the flying Chuck again, before hitting a corkscrew move out of the ring. Rio runs in and gets Henry in the spinning armbar thing, and Henry taps.
Sheamus and Alberto del Rio win via submission.
Later on tonight, Wade Barrett and CM Punk will go one on one against one another, and the special guest referee will be none other than John Cena. And the loser? Their whole group is out of the Royal Rumble. But, up next, it’s the Diva’s Championship match!
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog So sayeth the prophecy: “Upon his second coming, he shall watch a Mark Henry match.” #GuardYourSoul
@Niki_Sushi This just in. Soul Eater [Human Name: Michael Tarver] is back, and he’s hungry. #BWF #RAW #SucksToBeYou
@TKeep123 Sure looked like JOMO landed wrong on that knee… #WWE #RAW #BWF
Melina vs Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Random thought: How PG is it to promote a game that “You’re mom’s gonna hate it”?
Natalya and Melina lock up, and Melina shoves Natalya against the ropes before sending her right out to the floor. Melina throws Natalya back in, and slams her head against the mat. Melina keeps control over Natalya in the middle of the ring before going for the cover, only for Natalya to kick out. Melina puts Natalya in a viciously strange looking submission hold, but Natalya fights it and gets to her feet, running Melina into the corner. Natalya beats Melina up a little, and Melina kicks her in the head before Natalya drops her, and then does it again. Natalya went for that spinning clothesline, but Melina takes her down. Natalya takes a beating from Melina, but Natalya grabs Melina’s leg and lock sin the Sharpshooter, bending herself all the way over, and Melina is forced to tap out.
WWE Diva’s Champion Natalya wins via submission.
However, LayCool cuts Natalya’s victory celebration short.
McCool tells them to calm down, and says that they have good news. Layla says that in six days, Nattie’s going to lose some weight. McCool says that she’ll probably have to shop in the plus size division for the rest of her life. They’re not talking about actual body weight, they’re talking about their Diva’s Championship. Layla points out they never got their Championship rematch, and McCool says Sunday, they’re going to bring the Diva’s Championship back from being classless, to being flawless.
Still to come, the World Heavyweight Champion Edge takes on the WWE Champion, The Miz.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi That end was a credit to Melina’s flexibility, as she didn’t snap in half. #BWF #RAW
@HitTheRopes The way Melina can bend, it just leaves a lot to the imagination. #wwe
@kickoutblog (secretly hoping for Kong to interfere in this match and destroy them both… Sorry Natalya)
@KeepItFiveStar And here we go! The slap happy Melina vs. the awkward screaming Natalya!
@KeepItFiveStar Shouldn’t Beth Phoenix be getting title shots? She’s actually been winning
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, CM Punk vs John Cena, and Mason Ryan appears.>
Backstage, Otunga is stirring up more trouble, and is pointing out that if Punk loses, then they’re all screwed. Punk says that he’s sensing a lot of negative energy, and he doesn’t like it. Punk point sout that last week he made a sacrifice, to Mason Ryan, and took a kick in the face to beat John Cena. Come Sunday, Ryan will make his sacrifice, as will all of them, to sacrifice their spot to win the Royal Rumble match, to insure that he does. He says that when he wins, when he main events Wrestlemania, all of their lives change. Punk breaks off and looks at Husky. Harris says that there are forty people in the Royal Rumble match. What if Punk comes out first, and the Nexus doesn’t come until, say, 20th, and he’s already eliminated? Ryan tells him CM Punk will not be eliminated. Punk tells them to maintain the Corre so he can beat Nexus. Punk says that he doesn’t expect Cena to LET him win, he’s going to win because he’s better. Besides, Barrett has been making Cena’s life hell. He then tells them to have faith, and then tells them to take a knee. He extends his fist, and the others do as well.
Backstage, Josh Matthews is interviewing Cena, who punches him, yet again. Matthews has to be sick of that. Matthews asks what his mindset will be for the main event, and Cena says that as an official he’s recognized for doing the same thing. He says that if Punk wins, he has faith that he will eliminate each and every member of the new Nexus. If Barrett wins, he has to deal with the Corre, and points out that it has an extra r, and it stands for –
He’s interrupted by Miz, who fakes a laugh. Miz says he can’t believe Cena’s attitude about the Royal Rumble match. Winning the Royal Rumble match could be the worst thing that has ever happened to them should they choose to face him. Did Cena not see how he gave Orton the worst beating of his life? Or the beating he’s going to give that second-rate Champion Edge? Cena asks him to try to give him the worst beating of his life. Cena points out that The Miz could lose to Randy Orton, and could lose his rematch, and they must-see their way to a shower. Miz asks Matthews if he thinks he’s going to lose, but Miz interrupts him before he can answer. Miz asks the crowd, and they answer yes. Miz asks Riley if it’s ready, and Riley says to roll the footage. Hey, G! Think you can get me a .gif of Miz and Riley laughing??
<VIDEO PACAKGE: WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley beat down Randy Orton.>
AWESOME!
WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge
Before the match begins, Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero make their way out to the ring as well, and Dolph joins on commentary, with Vickie.
Miz and Edge, start to lock up, but Miz misses two kicks. Edge continues to deftly avoid all of Miz’ attempts, but catches Miz’ foot and gets the advantage, backing Miz into a corner. He Whips Miz across the ring and then sends his elbow into Miz’ face. He kicks Miz in the stomach, and then head butts him. Miz fights back, however, and elbows him. Once again, however, Miz misses his kick. Miz and Edge lock hands and Edge twists Miz’ arm behind his back. Miz tries to lift Edge, but can’t get him up. Edge fights back and sends Miz right over the top rope.
<COMMERCIAL>
@RhymesWithPen Vickie Guerrero looks way better in tights than Jerry Lawler ever did
@kickoutblog I love Dolph Ziggler’s business casual + hoodie attire.
@Niki_Sushi Hey. GM. Do your damn job and chase away Smackdown. Gawd, such a failure turtle. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog The Miz has bigger fish to fry than John Cena anyway, he’s got a World Champion to beat.
We come back to Edge immediately going for a cover on Miz, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz gets the advantage, however, attacking the injured ribs of Edge before hitting him with a kick in the face. Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz puts his knee in Edge’s back and then pulls him back, and I’ma punch this cameraman. I don’t care about Dolph and Vickie, thank you. Edge fights out, however, and Miz drops him right onto his back with his own hair. Miz keeps the advantage, and Whips Edge across the ring, but Edge hits a swinging neckbreaker on Miz. Miz starts to get up and Edge sets up for the Spear, but Miz rolls out of the ring first. Edge, however, follows, and Miz attacks the ribs again, before Whipping him, only to get it countered and for Miz to be sent to the barrier. Riley’s on the outside, keeping an eye on things. Edge throws Miz back into the ring. Edge climbs up to the top rope, and Miz fights him up there, going for a suplex, but Edge holds on, fighting to get Miz back to the mat. Edge gets ready, and hits a cross body on Miz, but Miz kicks out of the cover on two. Edge throws Miz into the corner, and then across the ring into the corner. Edge goes to do it again, but Riley helps Miz get out of the way. Miz gets Edge up and slams him, ribs first, into the top rope.
<COMMERCIAL>
@RhymesWithPen The World Champion is currently wrestling the WWE Champion and all Lawler cares about is making Vickie fat jokes … #IWantWrestling
@JonHexLives Why is Alex Riley wearing Sheamus-tinted boots? #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar TWO COMMERCIAL BREAKS?! *Monocle drops* UNHEARD OF!
@kickoutblog THEY JUST WENT TO COMMERCIAL! COME ON!
Jesus, we come back to Miz going for a cover, Edge kicking out, Miz beating Edge then going for a cover, then Edge kicks out, then Miz starts beating on Edge again. Miz is doing something with the bandage for a minute there, and then wraps his legs around Edge’s ribs. Dolph needs to shut the fuck up. Edge did something and dropped Miz almost literally onto his head. Edge hits something else, but I didn’t see it. Edge is fighting back hard, and this a clothesline on Miz. Edge drops Miz, and then goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz drives his shoulder into Edge’s ribs repeatedly for a minute, before running across the ring, missing the swinging corner clothesline. Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two, and Alex Riley distracts Edge. Edge climbs back into the ring, and Miz grabs him, going for a quick cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz Whips Edge, misses a clothesline, but manages to hit Riley with the baseball slide, before Edge drops Miz back to the mat. Edge crawls back and sets up the Spear, and I think I just heard Dolph drop the headset. I did.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via disqualification.
Ziggler grabs Edge as Edge goes for the Spear, and hits the Zig Zag on Edge. However, Orton is out next, and Ziggler attacks Orton, as well as Riley. Orton hits a vicious scoop slam on Ziggler, and Miz tries to take off, but Orton grabs him and beats him up. Miz runs into the ring, and Orton hits an RKO on Riley, then on Ziggler. Miz comes in and hits Orton in the knees with Riley’s briefcase before he grabs the WWE Championship and heads on out.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh no! It’s never a good day when Miz misses the clothesline
@Lunna1969 i love when Randy does the scoop slam! it always looks so smooth! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@kickoutblog Also, if this whole wrestling this doesn’t work out, Miz should totally sell a licorice candy called Mizzlers.
We come back to Matthews asking Barrett what the difference is between nexus and The Corre. Barrett says that when he first formed Nexus, he got too close to the WWE Championship and lost sight of his original goal, and lost the Nexus. But, every cloud has a silver lining, and he’s a member of The Corre. The Corre doesn’t have leadership issues or against John Cena being the special guest referee. Matthews says that people are pointing fingers at The Corre as being responsible for the attack on Teddy Long. Barrett stops him and says that he wishes Long a speedy recovery. Their goal for today is to make sure that Punk and Nexus are out of the Royal Rumble. As for Cena, Barrett hopes that Cena can respect him as he respects Cena.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan and the Bella Twins vs Ted DiBiase, Maryse, and Alicia Fox
Bryan and DiBiase are going to start it out, and Bryan fights out of DiBiase’s headlock quickly, and Bryan sends DiBiase to the mat. As the men are getting ready to work, Maryse tags herself in, and one of the Bellas and Maryse starts out. Bella 1 sends Maryse to the mat, and Bella 2 distracts Bella 1 from the whole thing, and Maryse takes advantage with a quick pinfall.
Ted DiBiase, Alicia Fox and Maryse win via pinfall.
The Bellas are fighting, and Daniel doesn’t look like he knows what the fuck to do. Get used to it, Bryan.
Still to come, Punk v Barrett.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase, Maryse and Knuckles from Sonic The Hedgehog vs Darling Nikki, that other twin and Daniel Bryan!
@HitTheRopes Wow, two matches involving Divas on one Raw. #Shocked
@Niki_Sushi Aaaaaaaaand there goes the good mood. Nastiness Personified vs Sexy People. Sigh. #BWF #RAW
At the Royal Rumble, Randy Orton and The Miz will go head to head for the WWE Championship! Dolph Ziggler and Edge will duke it out for the World Heavyweight Championship! LayCool will meet Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship, and it is a first-ever Forty Man Royal Rumble Match!
Backstage, the Bellas are fighting each other about who is better for Bryan, or whatever is important to them. Tarver watches them argue for a moment before he walks away, and both are ridiculously unaware of how lucky they are to have not gotten their souls stolen. However, They enter Daniel Bryan’s locker room to see him and Gail Kim kissing. Haha, you whores. Bryan says that he and Gail have been dating for six months. Gail says that with no guest stars around they have nothing to do. Gail gets up in their faces and slaps one, and then is sent in the corner by the other one. Referees have to break them apart, because Gail is gonna break her heel off in their asses.
The new Nexus, without Punk, makes their way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes Michael Tarver continues to pop up in random spots. #wwe
@Niki_Sushi So. Gail kinda just went up about 100% on the ‘DAMN’ meter, ya think? Such a shame that she has bad taste in men. #BWF #RAW
@divadirt “Because there’s no guest stars around, you guys really have nothing to do?” says Gail re. the Bellas. Oh snap! #WWE
@seraphalexiel IF THIS MEANS GAIL KIM WRESTLING, THEN I FORGIVE THAT LAST MATCH
@HitTheRopes Holy hell, something for Gail Kim, yay! #wwe
@KeepItFiveStar OHHHH SHIT! GAIL KIM WITH THE SHOOT COMMENT
This Sunday, Edge and Randy Orton will come together as a tag team once again to take on The Miz and Dolph Ziggler!
Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris with Mason Ryan and David Otunga vs WWE Tag Team Champions Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella with Tamina
McGuillicutty and Kozlov start things off with McGuillicutty losing his mind all over Kozlov. Kozlov fights back, however, and tags in Marella, who drops McGuillicutty to the mat and puts him in a headlock. McGuillicutty fights out of it, however, and sends Santino into the corner. Santino tries to jump up on McGuillicutty, who isn’t there, and McGuillicutty takes advantage, sending Santino to his corner. Harris is tagged in and stops on Santino before picking him up and dropping him real fucking fast. Harris goes for a quick pinfall, but Santino kicks out at two. Harris keeps him in the middle of the ring in a headlock, and then Santino flips Harris over him. Harris takes exception to this, and drops Santino, before going for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Santino continues to take abuse from Harris, who has him in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Santino fights to his feet, and both men are down. Santino manages to make it over to Kozlov, but before he can tag, Harris sends Kozlov off the apron. Santino starts to get momentum, and avoids his moves. He starts to flip Harris, but instead hits Harris’ knee. Santino sets up the Cobra, and McGuillicutty starts to get in, distracting Santino, while Harris takes advantage. Harris hits some kind of harsh-looking move and pins Santino for the win.
Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris win via pinfall.
Otunga takes the mic and asks for a hand for the new Nexus, but gets boos. He says that he wants everybody to give a warm welcome to the man who has sacrificed so much for them, a man who they will sacrifice for this Sunday and help propel to victory at the 2011 Royal Rumble match. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for their leader, CM Punk. As CM Punk makes his way to the ring, Cena is backstage and is handed a referee shirt. He tosses his dog tags to the guy that gave him the shirt and makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Michael Tarver should’ve handed John Cena his ref shirtt.
@TKeep123 All HAIL…..SANTINO !!!! Can Nexus handle The Cobra? #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Wow. That belt has sucked out all of Tamina’s muscle. And for those keeping count, she’s wearing shoes.
CM Punk with New Nexus vs Wade Barrett with the Corre with Special Guest Referee John Cena
Haven’t done this in a while, so:
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SCRAP YER POO!!!
Wait, where’s the ref shirt he was just handed? Oh, it’s under. Okay.
Cena, before the match is even started, sends the New Nexus backstage and away from ringside. The Corre is clapping, but that shit won’t last. Punk looks greatly upset. Cena seems to be distracted by the Cena chants, and sends The Corre backstage next. Told ya so.
Cena finally calls for the damn bell… and then steps between them, and shoves Punk backwards. Punk goes to attack him, and points out that he’s the ref. Then, he slaps Barrett, and points out he’s the ref. So, Punk attacks Barrett instead. Cena stands across the ring and just stands there so that Punk can attack Barrett as he wants. Punk sends Barrett out of the ring and gets in Cena’s face and yells at him, but Cena doesn’t seem fazed. He then sends Punk over the top rope, and Punk runs in, pissed, but stops himself before he hits Cena. Barrett, however, comes back in and attacks Punk, hitting a hard sidewalk slam. Cena then ignores the cover and goes out to the side and signs a few autographs, pretending that he forgot there was a match going on. Punk and Barrett are trying to wrestle, and knock each other down. Cena calls for the bell.
Cena then says that both teams are disqualified for excessive use of profanity on a PG show, and neither team is going to the Royal Rumble. And then Cena laughs. And Punk and Barrett are pissed.
“What we have just witnessed was a blatant abuse of power. Now, I can’t change the referee’s decision of this double disqualification, but I can change the consequences. Therefore, CM Punk, Wade Barrett, and their respective teams, will all compete in the Royal Rumble match Sunday. And in addition, if John Cena does not go into the ring and apologize to both Wade Barrett and CM Punk, right now, John Cena, you will be the one out of the Royal Rumble match.”
Cena’s pissed about this, and Punk and Barrett like this way too damn much. Cena pulls off his ref shirt and walks back to the ring. He slides in and stands between the two of them. He apologizes to Punk, then to Barrett, and then attacks them both. And then The Corre makes their way back down to the ring before the New Nexus follows. Cena watches both teams, but the teams seem more weary of each other than they do Cena. McGuillicutty stars to attack, and then Big Show, Bryan, Morrison, Tatsu, Henry, Kozlov, Marella, and some other people, I’m sure, start coming out. Oh, there’s Truth too.
Anyway, there’s RAW for ya. Decent build up for the Royal Rumble, though I think everyone was busier talking about Gail Kim and Daniel Bryan. Anyway, hope you all enjoy your week.
Howdy, BoredWrestlingFans! Rich Flynn here, for a second week of SmackDown! coverage. This week’s report is coming to you a little later than I had anticipated, thanks again to frantic University deadlines, which I apologise for. Thanks to everyone for their kind words about my first show report last week – here’s hoping I can keep working and improving!
All the same, let’s get this show on the road… (more…)
Whoops! I totally forgot to post this. I may be writing the ROH stuff now, but that’s not an excuse. TNA’s last ppv of the year, “Final Resolution,” takes place tonight. How will 2010 end for those involved? Here’s what they’re offering. (more…)
The Power Poll has been taken over by Don Owens of Future-Endeavors.com, and we here at BoredWrestlingFan would like to welcome him here in his first week…
1. Wade Barrett (last week: 1)
The leader of the Nexus proved he can win matches on his own with a victory over R-Truth, and proved he’s in control of The Nexus by forcing John Cena to don the black and yellow t-shirt this past Monday on RAW. (My vote: 1)
2. Randy Orton (3)
The WWE Champion RKO’d anything that moved on Monday Night, but failed to take out John Cena, perhaps his biggest threat this Sunday at Survivor Series. (My vote: 2)
3. Edge (2)
The Rated R Superstar failed to exile David Otunga from The Nexus thanks to interference from Kane. However, Edge had the last laugh when he kidnapped Paul Bearer and caused enough of a distraction for The Big Show to pick up a victory over the World Heavyweight Champion. (My vote: 3)
4. John Cena (6)
After easily defeating Alex Riley in a match, Cena not only avoided being punted in the head by Randy Orton, he managed to hit him with an Attitude Adjustment – followed by one for Wade Barrett. (My vote: N/A)
5. Kane (5)
A loss for the World Heavyweight Champion, even if it was because of a distraction from Edge, leaves him at number 5. (My vote: 4)
6. Daniel Bryan (9)
The American Dragon impressed voters this week by holding off SmackDown’s All American American, Jack Swagger on RAW. (My vote: 9)
7. Alberto Del Rio (7)
His name is Alberto Del Rio, but of course, you already knew that. A victory over Sergeant Slaughter on RAW capped off a good week for Alberto, who defeated Kofi Kingston on SmackDown, was announced by Tito Santana, and was driven into the arena by Chavo Classic. (My vote: 7)
8. Dolph Ziggler (NR)
Apparently, appearing on both shows and winning helps big time in the Power Poll, because Dolph Ziggler retained his Intercontinental Championship against MVP on Friday and put Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry to sleep on Monday. (My vote: N/A)
9. Jeff Hardy (8)
TNA’s World Champion is the only thing that keeps them on this poll sometimes. And here, Jeff Hardy is hanging out near the bottom with his ugly new Immortal Championship. (My vote: 5)
10. Santino (10)
Two weeks running for Santino? Holy crap! Hanging out with The Iron Sheik and defeating the Usos through use of The Cobra(!!!!) will definitely get you votes here on the Power Poll! (My vote: 6)
Dropped Out: The Miz
I also voted for: Ezekiel Jackson (8) and Jim Ross (10)
