WWE SmackDown results 4/2/10
1 CommentApparently there was something huge that happened at the SmackDown tapings this week. I wonder what it was? I guess we’ll find out as WWE presents Friday Night SmackDown!
Apparently there was something huge that happened at the SmackDown tapings this week. I wonder what it was? I guess we’ll find out as WWE presents Friday Night SmackDown!
It’s time for the only hour of pro wrestling on Monday nights, ROH! (more…)
Alright, it’s 8PM as I type this, so screw it, let’s get started!
Last Sunday: Chris Jericho won the World Heavyweight Championship, with a little help from, of all people, Shawn Michaels.
The World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho is here, and this past Monday, Edge speared him and confirmed that the Rated R Superstar would be his opponent on the Grandest Stage of them All. In case the big belt over his shoulder doesn’t give it away, he tells us he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. He even reads the belt. “Chris Jericho – World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.” Last Monday was his inauguration ball, a chance for us to bask in his successes, but it was taken away from him by Edge, and he didn’t deserve it.
You think you know me…
For the second time this week, Edge interrupts Jericho. He hates to do this, but he’s got to congratulate Jericho. He walked into the Elimination Chamber and walked out the World Heavyweight Champion. Jericho says it’s because he’s the best in the world at what he does. Edge says he’s the best in the world at getting speared by Edge. Edge lists Jericho’s achievements with the word “spear” attached at the end of each. Edge feels the spears aren’t just getting to Jericho physically, they’re getting to him mentally as well. He see’s doubt in Jericho’s eyes. Jericho doesn’t think he can beat him. Jericho says of course he can beat Edge. Edge says he’s in Jericho’s head all nightmare long – hooray for a Metallica reference from Edge! He wants Jericho to live up to what he says, that he’s the best in the world at what he does. If he doesn’t, guess what’s going to happen. The crowd chants “spear.” Edge says they’re right. One more spear, and it’s all over. Jericho says Edge will never spear him again, and suckerpunches him. Edge sells it, and Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Edge holds on to the ropes – then spears Jericho once again.
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@PrettySlimMont Damn Jericho….u got speared….again! #wwe smackdown #bwf
@mrsmysterio619 ouch what a spearr .
@xSmootx #Smackdown Definitely looking forward between Edge/Jericho at mania, great segment. #SpearisthenextGOREGOREGORE
WRESTLEMANIA XXVI: 30 Days Away!
We’ve got a Money In The Bank qualifier about to take place as the sounds of AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” ring out through the arena. Who’s participating?
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…
The Shaman Of Sexy, John Morrison, had an impressive showing his past Sunday in the Elimination Chamber, and now has a chance to go to WrestleMania as part of the Money In The Bank ladder match. Standing in his way?
I am perfection…
Dolph Ziggler has an opportunity to make his mark on WrestleMania, but we’re not done with the participants in this match…
What’s up… if you feel me, stand up and say what’s up…
R-Truth is accompanied by his NXT rookie, David Otunga, and we’re set for triple threat action, the winner going on to WrestleMania XXVI as part of the Money In The Bank Ladder Match.
Dolph Ziggler def. John Morrison and R-Truth to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Ziggler’s strategy is to let Morrison and Truth beat each other up, but they’re not having any of that. They go out after him, beat him up a bit, and toss him back out. R-Truth gets to show off his athleticism, but Ziggler breaks up the first pin attempt and bails. Morrison gets a two count as well with Ziggler breaking up the pin once again. He eats a clothesline for his trouble. Morrison gets dumped to the outside, and then Truth dumps Ziggler to the floor right by the feet of David Otunga. Truth hits a suicide dive, then rolls Ziggler back in the ring. Morrison keeps Truth on the outside, and scores a two count on Ziggler, then we go to a…
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@Lucks4Losers Totally wanna see Truth’s rookie do Truth’s entrance lol #WWE #Smackdown
@jenrae73 #BWF #Smackdown Which one will win? Larry,Curly or JoMo? Ha!
@JamesLovely #wwe am i the only person that cannot stand R truths theme song or catchphrase? I wish he would just hurry up and turn heel already
@TheKingOfImpact So now that David Otunga is in #WWE I betta not see Jennifer Hudson in no storylines. The only thing she needs to do is sing at Wrestlemania
Ziggler is surprisingly in control when we come back, managing to fight off both Truth and Morrison. Both Truth and Morrison at different points score with a rollup on Ziggler but have their pin broken up by the other. Ziggler breaks up a pin attempt by Truth on Morrison. Truth goes for the Lie Detector on Ziggler, who ducks, and it’s Morrison who takes the move, but Truth only scores a two count. Ziggler gets rid of Truth and tries to cover Morrison but still only scores a two. All three men start battling on the top rope, and Ziggler crash lands on the outside. Truth goes for a Superplex on Morrison, who blocks and counters with a sunset flip powerbomb, and follows it up with Starship Pain, but Ziggler pulls Morrison out and picks up the pinfall on Truth – Dolph Ziggler is going to WrestleMania!
Christian and Dolph Ziggler are the only qualifiers thusfar for the Money In The Bank ladder match at WrestleMania XXVI
Promo: Please DO NOT Try this at home.
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@jaydubshow Dolph Ziggler is going to WrestleMania! Money in the bank baby! #MITB #WWE Hope Morrison gets another shot though
@thumbscrews Just saw #HulkHogan in a Rent-a-Center commercial. How the mighty have fallen. #WWE #TNA
@Jason_Sherman I wonder what kind of shampoo JoMo uses…his hair is always looking shiny. #wwe #smackdown
Editor’s note: I actually saw that Hogan/Rent-a-Center commercial earlier. Surprised the hell out of me to see him in that – but it’s great promotion for TNA for fans who may not realize what he’s been up to and may think to look him up on the internet.
Video: Shawn Michaels challenges The Undertaker and ultimately convinces him to accept.
It’s Career vs. Streak at WrestleMania, but up next, it’s the WWE Women’s Championship on the line, with special guest referee Vickie Guerrero!
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@ivanpek009 This video package is pretty awesome #WWE #Smackdown
@Stythis1788 Brilliant video of Michaels and Taker #wwe. Sheer brilliance
@BrookCallaway This HBK/Taker match is driving me nuts…I dont know who to cheer for. Damn them.
Vickie Guerrero gets the Jeff Jarrett treatment – no music as she makes her entrance. She’s our guest referee in this WWE Women’s Championship match. The challenger is out first, which shouldn’t be shocking, but it is. Michelle McCool is accompanied by Layla. Mickie James is the WWE Women’s Champion, and she’s accompanied by the WWE Women’s Championship belt.
Michelle McCool def. Mickie James to become the NEW WWE Women’s Champion
Todd Grisham fumbles over the name of the company he works for as this match starts. Michelle starts off on offense but it doesn’t last long. Mickie battles back and drops Michelle. She makes a cover, but Layla gets up on the apron, and Vickie stops to tell her to get down. Mickie dumps Michelle to the outside and hits a baseball slide, followed up by a Hurricanrana. Mickie slams Michelle’s face into the barricade and is rolling until Layla gets involved, distracting Mickie. Michelle takes over, bouncing Mickie’s head off of the ring apron as Beth Phoenix watches on a monitor backstage. Michelle goes for a powerbomb, but Mickie reverses into another hurricanrana, but her advantage doesn’t last long, and Michelle hits a belly to belly suplex. She goes for the cover but Vickie falls out of the ring. Mickie rolls up Michelle but Vickie slaps her in the face. Michelle boots Mickie in the face and covers her for the pinfall victory and the WWE Women’s Championship.
Up next, it’s another Money In The Bank qualifying match as Kane takes on the Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre!
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@SpenceSupreme #WTF Vickie fell out the ring, gets back in and screws Mickie. Wow #WWE
@prettyheartless Peace out Mickie James. I’m calling it.
@jeterfan28 DREW IS ON NEXT!!!! He could be IC champ as well as potential MITB contender!
“Thunderstruck” rings out again, despite the fact that the official theme song for WrestleMania is some song by Kevin Rudolph that I didn’t bother catching the name of. The Big Red Machine, Kane makes his way to the ring, and he’ll have a chance to go to WrestleMania. Drew McIntyre’s awesome new entrance plays, and the Intercontinental Champion comes out with a microphone in his hand. He stops at the top of the ramp and reminds us that he’s undefeated. Nobody in the WWE has been able to beat him, not even Kane. He proved it last Sunday when he beat Kane at the Elimination Chamber. After he beats him tonight, he’ll win Money In The Bank, and the prophecy will be fulfilled. He’ll be the Intercontinental Champion, the World Heavyweight Champion, and still undefeated.
Kane def. Drew McIntyre to qualify for the Money in The Bank Ladder Match
Kane aggressively attacks McIntyre to start the match. McIntyre mounts a comeback and starts to aggressively attack Kane, and this match has essentially degraded into a brawl. McIntyre locks in a front facelock – whaddya know, a wrestling hold. Kane powers out of the hold and starts throwing punches, then clotheslines in the corner before dropping McIntyre with a sidewalk slam for a two count. Kane goes to the top rope, but McIntyre gets out of the way, then hits a ZigZag like move, which confuses Grisham into calling McIntyre “Ziggler.” Kane gets up and goes for a chokeslam, but McIntyre avoids it. Kane hits a big boot and gets a two count. McIntyre goes for the FutureShock, but Kane powers out of it. Kane boots McIntyre in the skull and picks up the pinfall victory. Kane is going to WrestleMania!
McIntyre gets up and realizes that he’s not going to WrestleMania. He looks up at the Money In The Bank briefcase, then flips out, yelling something that I can’t quite make out at Matt Striker.
So now the Money In The Bank match will feature Christian, Kane, and Dolph Ziggler.
The Miz has something to say, and that’s NEXT!
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@RizzIUP Kane wins w/ a kick to the head #WWE
@Miss_Dani_Baby Take it easy McIntyre you don’t want to lose your job
@txgirl0302 I don’t like Drew McIntyre but dammit I like his theme music.
It’s finally confirmed that “Thunderstruck” is one of the WrestleMania themes this year, though they said it’s off the Iron Man 2 soundtrack…
The Unified WWE Tag Team and United States Champion, The Miz is here with a microphone in his hand. He can come to any show he wants because he’s one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, yet he and The Big Show still don’t have a match at WrestleMania. Miz asks Teddy Long to find ShoMiz a suitable tag team, so that they can prove they’re the most dominant team in the WWE. Miz doesn’t care who it is, or whether or not he and The Big Show need to come back to SmackDown or not. He just wants to have his WrestleMania moment, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME! Teddy Long says he’ll take it under advisement. Since Big Show isn’t here, they can’t do a tag team match, but The Miz is here, so we can have a singles match. Miz says he’s not scared of anybody, bring it on. Teddy Long announces that the match for later tonight will be The Miz taking on Edge!
Up next, it’s Shelton Benjamin in action as he takes on the Straight Edge Superstar, CM Punk in a Money In The Bank qualifier!
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@AndorranRef25 The Miz is AWESOME! He’s come a LONG WAY since signing w/ #WWE. He has Personality and AWESOME promo skills. Miz Vs. Edge should be good.
@Rage_Grenade @mikethemiz looks like an AWESOME BEAST with those 3 Title Belts. #WWE #Smackdown
@youdontknowmel Miz vs edge?! Miz vs edge?! Dreams DO come true!! #wwe
Smack of the Night: Last year’s Money In The Bank match.
CM Punk is looking to three-peat in Money In The Bank matches, but first, he’s got to qualify. He’s accompanied to the ring, of course, by the Straight Edge Society of Luke Gallows and Serena. His opponent tonight is returning to SmackDown after spending a lot of time on ECW, and quite frankly…
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ (HIM) NOW!
Shelton Benjamin is back on SmackDown!
Shelton Benjamin def. CM Punk to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match.
Benjamin gets the early advantage in this one, and Punk bails from the ring to catch a breather. When he gets back in, he takes over. Benjamin starts to battle back, using his slight edge in quickness to his advantage, but Punk battles back. Shelton fights off a bulldog attempt, and Gallows climbs up on the apron, distracting Benjamin. Rey Mysterio pulls Gallows off the apron, distracting Punk, and Benjamin hits PayDirt for the victory! Shelton Benjamin is going to WrestleMania!
Matt Striker says “A pessimist’s blood type is always B negative.” I like that line.
Still to come, it’s Edge taking on The Miz!
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@Kevin4theWin So Shelton wins his MITB qualifier with help from Rey Mysterio. #WWE #Smackdown. They should have let Shelton win clean in my opinion.
@Narcissism100 My Straightedge Savior is here CM Punk far better than the Impure Shelton Benjamin. Accept StraightEdge into your life it will save u. #WWE
@wrestlingaddict AWESOME!!!!!! Loving that Shelton won, Can’t have a MITB match without Shelton! But it should have been a CLEAN win! #WWE
RAW Rebound: John Cena is angry, but he’s going to WrestleMania to face Batista
We get a rundown of the WrestleMania card thusfar. Pretty solid so far – John Cena vs. Batista, Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho vs. Edge…
Speaking of Edge…
You think you know me…
The number one contender for the World Heavyweight Champion is here and he’s set for action against the WWE United States Champion, The Miz! SmackDown is about to get AWESOME! The Miz makes his way out to the ring, and we head to a…
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@Kevin4theWin Hmm somehow I don’t see this Main Event lasting the full 18 mins. My guess they take a commercial break during Miz Intro #WWE #Smackdown
@iObscurity My money’s on Edge. Jus’ sayin’.
@_onwiththeshow @mikethemiz holyshit, bro, you do cleveland proud. if we can’t have team titles, at least you can carry all those belts. (:
Edge def. The Miz
This is the first time EVER that Edge and The Miz are in the ring together. Surprisingly, they start off by, y’know, actually wrestling. Edge gets the better of the early exchanges, frustrating The Miz. Edge starts playing mind games with The Miz, getting the United States Champion to chase him around, then catching him and slamming him spine first into the barricade on the outside. Edge actually outquicks The Miz, but The Miz finally catches Edge, slamming him face first into the steel ring post and sending him crashing to the floor, and us crashing into…
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@StevenPhilNYY watching the end of Smackdown. Just me or does Edge look like he did when he broke into the WWE? Skinnier brood form #WWE #Smackdown
@guitardude83 Haha.SpearSpearSpearSpearSpear lmao that’s good stuff #wwe
@SESociety: #WWE has bigger and better plans for our savior.
The Miz is in control as we come back, wearing Edge down with submissions and strikes. Miz climbs the ropes, but Edge catches him and flapjacks him into the canvas, turning the tide back into his favor as Daniel Bryan watches from backstage. Edge nails the Edgecution for a two count. Miz nails a combination backbreaker/reverse DDT for two. He goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Edge reverses it into the Impaler DDT. Edge backs into the corner and sets up for, then nails, the Spear, picking up the victory.
Edge celebrates as SmackDown goes off the air.
– The TNA opening hits.
– A video package runs focusing on various TNA stars and how their dream was to become a star in the world of professional wrestling. “This is who I am…this is what I do…” uttered the various TNA stars in the promo. The video package then focuses on tonight’s AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
– A graphic opening hits welcoming us to TNA Genesis. We go live to the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL where a series of pyro goes off above the ring and in the entrance area. Mike Tenay welcomes us to the show in what he dubbed the first TNA PPV of the “Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff era.”
– Hulk Hogan’s music hits and he makes his way out into the Impact Zone along with Eric Bischoff. They have gotten rid of the two entrance tunnels and simply have a big entrance area under a big tron. The ramp also connects to a new four-sided traditional ring as they are ditching the six-sided ring. We see a shot of Brooke Hogan cheering on her father in the crowd. Hogan gets on the mic and says, “Well guys I guess all there is to say is welcome to Genesis!” He says welcome to the brand new Impact Zone (which gets some boo’s). Hogan said he told everyone there would be change and everything would be moving and shaking. The crowd starts a loud “WE WANT SIX SIDES” chant. Hogan said there is no more play pen rings and this is where professional wrestling is meant to be done. He said there competitor likes to refer to themselves as “sports entertainment”, but he is proud to be aligned with TNA where professional wrestling still lives. Eric Bischoff takes the mic and said he knows no one likes change, but change is what they are all about. He said change starts tonight with this ring and there is a hell of a lot more coming our way. Hogan said there is only one last thing to say, “Whatcha gonna do Vince McMahon, when TNA comes for you!”
– Mike Tenay and Taz welcome us to the show and we are going to kick things off with The Amazing Red defending the TNA X Division Championship against a mystery opponent. Red is out first to a big reaction from the crowd in Orlando. Red’s opponent is…former WWE star The Brian Kendrick.
TNA X Division Championship
The Amazing Red (c) vs. Brian Kendrick
Brian Kendrick takes the champion Amazing Red down early on. More armbar takedowns by Kendrick on Red. Kendrick with a camel clutch with forearm shots into a crossface. Red with a big snap huracanrana on Kendrick. Kendrick fires back with a big running spear on Red and then sends Red to the outside with a flying kick to the face. Kendrick goes to work on the knee of Red kicking him off his feet and then applying pressure against the ropes. During the match, Tenay and Taz noted on commentary that Bobby Lashley is claiming he will not wrestle tonight and that they hope to have more on that soon. Kendrick goes up top and Red catches him with a big kick to the head. Red then takes out Kendrick with a huge senton dive off the top turnbuckle. Red then follows that up with a missile dropkick on Kendrick in the ring. Kendrick with a single leg boston crab on Red after Red missed a shot from up top. Red with a kick to the head on Kendrick and rolling armbar. Kendrick with a nearfall on Red. Red gets the pinfall on Kendrick with a springboard Code Red.
Winner & STILL TNA X Division Champion: The Amazing Red
– Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff is with Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman. Bischoff said he appreciates the help with Mick Foley, but reminds them that Nash is the only one under contract. Bischoff said Hall and Waltman need to prove themselves. Hall asks Nash for some help tonight. Waltman asks what about him. Hall and Waltman play rock/paper/scissors on who will join Nash tonight. It looks like Waltman won, but I’m pretty sure everyone is still confused on what just happened.
Sean Morley vs. Daniels
Before the match, Morley got on the mic and said tonight he presents his first TNA Films production for the ladies. Daniels walks out and gets on the mic saying TNA is about wrestling and not the goofy stuff Morley is talking about. Daniels tells Brooke Hogan to shut up when she stands up making some noise at him. Daniels said he already has a review for Morley’s first TNA production and it isn’t a thumbs up. Daniels walks in the ring and flips off Morley. The bell rings and they start brawling. Morley with some big knees to the gut on Daniels into a russian leg sweep. Morley with a pump handle slam on Daniels. Daniels fights back dropping Morley head first off the ropes. Daniels focuses on the throat of Morley hitting a few palm strikes and then sending Morley throat first into the top rope. Daniels then chokes Morley’s throat against the top rope using his legs using the three count to his advantage. Daniels with a springboard moonsault on Morley. Morley fights back with some quick offense and then hits the Money Shot off the top rope to get the pinfall.
Winner: Sean Morley
– A video package runs highlighting the events between ODB and Tara.
TNA Knockouts Championship
Best 2 out of 3 Falls
ODB (c) vs. Tara
Both women exchange some big chops early on. Tara with some big kicks to ODB that is followed by a big kick to the back of the head. Tara with a springboard flipping leg drop on ODB that results in a two count. ODB fires back with a big fallaway slam on Tara. Tara with a rollup on ODB that results in a pinfall.
Winner of Fall #1: Tara
ODB goes after Tara right away powering her into the corner and choking her out. Tara gets ODB locked up in a tarantula sumbission against the ropes. ODB then goes on the attack on Tara on the outside. The referee starts the count and ODB rolls back in to break it up. ODB tosses Tara back in the ring and attempts a few pinfall attempts that all result in a two count. ODB then applies a full body submission on Tara. ODB keeps it locked on, twirls around the ring with Tara and gets into another pinfall with Tara finding a way to kick out. ODB started favoring her chest during the match like something was wrong. Tara then hit the Widow’s Peak suddenly and got the pinfall.
Winner of Fall #2: Tara
Winner & NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara
After the match, we see a few highlights of the match featuring the two falls Tara won in a row. Back live, Tara is celebrating with the TNA Knockouts Championship.
– Backstage, Christy Hemme is with “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero. Dinero cut a promo telling Desmond Wolfe that he better bring it tonight.
TNA World Tag Team Championships
The British Invasion (c’s) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez
We start with Matt Morgan and Brutus Magnus. They lock up and Morgan pushes Magnus away quickly. More quick offense by Morgan on Magnus hitting a big shoulder block. Magnus dodges a chokeslam attempt, kicks Morgan and tags in Doug Williams. Hernandez gets involved and breaks it up. Hernandez gets the legal tag and goes after Williams in the corner. Williams with a running knee to Hernandez, attempts a suplex, Hernandez blocks it, gets Williams up for a vertical suplex, Williams counters off and Hernandez hits a big body splash in the corner. Hernandez takes off his shirt, wraps it around the neck of Williams and tosses him across the ring. Magnus clips Hernandez when Hernandez has Williams up for a powerbomb. Hernandez pulls himself up top, but both Magnus and Williams jump up and take him down in a big superplex. More double teaming by Magnus and Williams on Hernandez with Magnus getting back the tag. Magnus with an abdominal stretch on Hernandez and uses Williams to apply more pressure. Hernandez fights back and Morgan gets the hot tag. Morgan takes out Magnus and Williams quickly. Morgan plants Magnus with a big spinning slam and elbows Williams in the corner. Morgan with a reverse chokeslam on Williams into the corner. Hernandez with a springboard shoulder block on Williams and Morgan takes out Magnus with a clothesline. All four men are down. Morgan with a chokeslam on Williams and Williams somehow kicks out. Magnus boots Morgan in the face allowing Williams to hit a german suplex into a bridge for a close two count. Morgan body splashes Magnus, throws him away and then tosses Williams off the top rope. Hernandez with a Dominator on Magnus and Morgan follows it up with a big running boot to the face for the pinfall.
Winners & NEW TNA World Tag Team Champions: Matt Morgan & Hernandez
After the match, we see highlights leading to the finish. Back live, Morgan and Hernandez are celebrating their win with the tag team gold over their shoulders.
– Backstage, we see Bobby Lashley heading into Hulk Hogan’s office. Abyss is speaking with Eric Bischoff when Lashley pushes him away. Abyss goes crazy and starts attacking Lashley. Abyss then knocks out Lashley and Bischoff said they just ruined their semi-main event. Hulk Hogan walks in and sees what happened. He asks Abyss what he is doing and that this is the last things he needs tonight. Hogan said the match is now off between Abyss and Lashley, but he has other plans for Abyss tonight.
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe
Wolfe was accompanied to the ring by a woman who removed his ring attire. The bell rings and they immediately lock up. Pope breaks it up with a few shots and kicks to Wolfe’s chest. Pope continues with kicks and trips up Wolfe in the corner. Pope goes up top and misses an elbow shot. Wolfe with a unique snapmare into the ropes on Pope. Wolfe does this a second time against the ropes. Wolfe then gets a boston crab applied on Pope. Wolfe keeps the action grounded by applying side headlocks on Pope or laying over his back applying a headlock. The two exchange a few chest chops and Wolfe gets the better of it taking Pope down. Wolfe gets Pope setup for a Tower of London, but Pope counters and takes Wolfe off his feet with a huge running spear. Pope then hits a quick suplex on Wolfe. Wolfe attempts another boston crab, but Pope counters into a nearfall. Pope with a sitdown powerbomb on Wolfe that results in a close two count. Another close nearfall for Pope. Wolfe then connects with his Lariat and gets the pinfall.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe
– Backstage, Jeremy Borash promotes tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship when Eric Bischoff walks up cutting him off. Bischoff asks Borash what he is doing. Borash said he is doing his job. Bischoff said his job is to do whatever he tells him. He tells Borash that he has been pulled off television until further notice. Ric Flair then shows up and has a staredown with Bischoff. Flair then talks with Christy Hemme and said he goes where the greatest talent in the world goes.
– A video package runs highlighting the events leading into tonight’s tag team match between Beer Money and Kevin Nash & Scott Hall.
The Band (Kevin Nash & Sean Waltman) vs. Beer Money
Sean Waltman will be replacing Scott Hall tonight in tagging with Kevin Nash. The bell rings and we start with James Storm and Sean Waltman. Storm gets in a quick jab on Waltman and hits a few arm drags. Storm with a neckbreaker on Waltman and then tags in Robert Roode. Beer Money double team Waltman. Kevin Nash then gets the tag and goes to work on Storm in the corner. Waltman with a quick snap suplex on Storm into a side headlock. Tag back to Nash who drives his knees into the chest of Storm in the corner. Nash starts choking Storm in the corner and then tags Waltman back in who starts kicking Storm down in the corner as well. Storm with a Bronco Buster on Storm in the corner. Nash prevents a hot tag to Roode and goes back to work on Storm. Roode is able to get the hot tag and starts going after Waltman with a series of shots and a big high back body drop. Roode hits Nash with some big right hands. Beer Money then double team Nash and Waltman and do the “BEER…MONEY” pose. Scott Hall is then seen coming down the ramp distracting Roode and Storm. Hall then pulls a fan over the guard railing and starts beating him up as Waltman runs out to stop it. In the ring, Storm catches Nash with a superkick and Roode rolls up Nash for the pinfall.
Winners: Beer Money
– Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff are watching the monitor. Hogan said he is going to call those guys out this Thursday on Impact to settle things once and for all.
– Abyss is on his way out to the Impact Zone awaiting his mystery opponent tonight. The lights go out and when they come back on we see former WWE star Ken “Mr. Kennedy” Anderson making his TNA debut. Anderson gets on the mic and said, “It looks like I crossed the line!” Anderson has a mic drop and introduces himself as “MISSSSSTTTTEEEERRRRR….ANDERSON.”
Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson
The bell rings and Anderson extends his hand to Abyss. Abyss goes to shake his hand and Anderson slaps him. Lots of quick offense by Anderson early on in the match. They then brawl to the outside where Anderson uses the ring to his advantage throwing Abyss up against it. Anderson pulls a steel chair from the crowd and tries to use it, but Abyss counters kicking it away and tossing Anderson back in the ring. Anderson comes back choking Abyss with his boot. Anderson sends Abyss into the corner, gets in a roll up and Abyss quickly kicks out. Abyss favors his left arm when Anderson runs into him with a shoulder block. Anderson takes advantage dropping his weight over the left arm of Abyss. Anderson then works over Abyss’ arm applying more pressure. Abyss eventually fights out and drops Anderson with a big boot. Abyss with a body splash on Anderson in the corner and a big side slam. Abyss attempts a chokeslam, but Anderson breaks it up. Abyss gets Anderson on his shoulders and Anderson jumps off hitting a reverse neckbreaker. Abyss catches Anderson with a chokeslam after he comes flying off the top rope. Abyss has Anderson back up and connects with a big Torture Rack. Abyss with a cover and Anderson kicks out. Abyss leaves the ring and grabs a steel chair. Once inside, Abyss has the chair taken away by the referee. We then see Anderson putting brass knucks on and catching Abyss with a big right hand. Anderson gets rid of the knucks without the referee noticing and gets the pinfall.
Winner: Mr. Anderson
After the match, Anderson gets on the mic and says, “The winner of the match…*shrugs*…*shrugs*…Misterrrrrr…*shrugs…Anderson.” Looks like he was trying to do his best Peter Griffin impression for you Family Guy fans out there.
– A video package runs highlighting tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship between champion AJ Styles and challenger Kurt Angle.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle
The stipulation at hand is that if Kurt Angle loses, he will not receive another shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in 2010. Lots of back and forth exchanges early on with Angle getting the better of Styles and Styles getting the better of Angle. Styles and Angle continue more back and forth exchanges on the mat feeling each other out. Angle with a german suplex attempt on Styles who flips back and lands on his feet. They continue at a rapid pace trying to take each other down and get a few nearfalls. Styles catches Angle with a huge dropkick after a series of counters. Styles with a snapmare and kick to the back combo on Angle. Angle attempts a comeback running at Styles, but Styles catches him with a big elbow and Angle falls to the outside. Styles attempts a springboard flip onto Angle, but stops himself and lands on the ring apron. Angle then trips up Styles who crashes on the outside. Back in the ring, Angle takes Styles down and applies a full body bearhug. Styles fights to his feet, but Angle grounds him with a big backbreaker. Angle continues to work on Styles in the corner.
Styles fights back with a few chops and then both collide in the middle of the ring. Both Styles and Angle are down. We then see Ric Flair walking down the ramp and getting closer to the ring. Flair stands at ringside and looks on as Angle and Styles start going at it again. Styles tosses Angle out of the ring, hits the ropes and hits a big flipping dive to take out Angle at ringside. Angle limps back into the ring and Styles connects with a backbreaker. Styles with a springboard clothesline on Angle that results in a two count. Angle counters a Styles Clash attempt, hits a german suplex, hits a second and then hits a third with a release. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt, but Angle comes back hitting a fourth release german suplex. Styles catches Angle with a big Pele Kick, covers and gets a close two count. Angle then drives Styles into the corner and hits a few shoulder charges. Angle connects with a big clothesline on Styles in the corner, covers and Styles kicks out.
Styles with a snap huracanrana off the top rope on Angle. Styles with a springboard 450 splash, but Angle moves out of the way and connects with the Angle Slam. Angle covers and Styles kicks out. Angle can’t believe it. Angle with a moonsault attempt and Styles moves out of the way. Styles attempts a Styles Clash, but Angle counters into an Ankle Lock. Styles counters out flipping to his back and kicking Angle away. Styles with a springboard body splash, cover and Angle kicks out. Styles attempts another snap huracanrana from the top rope, but Angle counters and hits the Styles Clash on Styles! Styles kicks out. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt into a big spike DDT. Angle misses a charge in the corner and Styles hits an Angle Slam on Angle. Styles covers Angle and Angle kicks out. Styles argues that it was three with the referee. Styles then goes up top, Angle sits up quickly and hits an Angle Slam off the top rope. Angle covers and Styles still finds a way to kick out. Angle with an Ankle Lock on Styles. Styles turns to his back to kick Angle away, but Angle holds on and keeps the Ankle Lock applied. Angle then falls to the mat to apply more pressure. Styles is about to tap out when Ric Flair pulls the referee out. Styles starts tapping, but there is no referee. Angle sees what Flair did and starts going after him. Angle chases Flair around the ring, inside the ring, Flair bails to the ramp and Styles takes out Angle with a clothesline. Flair tosses Styles the TNA World Title and Styles knocks out Angle with it. Styles tosses the belt away, Flair tosses the referee back inside and the referee counts the pinfall.
Winner & STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
After the match, Ric Flair gets in the ring, hands the TNA World Heavyweight Championship to AJ Styles and raises his arm in the air. Styles starts celebrating with Flair. Flair and Styles take turns letting out a few WOOOOOOOO’s. We then see highlights of the match leading to the finish involving the interference from Flair.
Greetings and salutations, fellow “Smackdown” fans!
The work week has ended for me, and I invite you to join me in leaving the realm of public education behind, and diving headfirst into the B-show that really isn’t. I’ve read no spoilers, and actually have no idea what is happening tonight. (more…)
Hey folks, ThinkSoJoE here, filling in for tharvey1 who is on vacation this week.
You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry, you’d better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why. Santa Claus is comin’ to town – and hopefully, he won’t be singing “What’s Up” as he comes down your chimney. It’s Christmas Eve, it’s 8PM, and it’s on a network I don’t get, so we’re bootlegging it* for WWE Superstars!
*BoredWrestlingFan does not condone or endorse illegal downloads – but, since this show will be up on Hulu in a few days, I suppose it doesn’t matter this time. Hello, Mr. McDevitt!
Mike Tenay and Taz welcome us to the PPV and the opening match is for the TNA Tag Team Titles.
TNA Tag Team Championships
The British Invasion (c’s) vs. The Motor City Machine Guns
With Shelley out of the ring, The British Invasion used it to their advantage to double team. They hit a double team finisher off the top rope for the three count.
Winners & STILL TNA World Tag Team Champions: The British Invasion
Up next is Tara vs. ODB for the TNA Knockouts Title.
TNA Knockouts Championship
ODB (c) vs. Tara
Quick match for this one. Tara rolled up ODB to win the match.
Winner & NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara
Following the match, Christy Hemme interviewed the new champion. Tara thanked the crowd.
Adam Martin now here taking over for Roy Nemer for the rest of the recap.
“Feast or Fired”
Three winners will earn title shots, one person will be fired
Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe, “Big” Rob Terry and Sheik Abdul Bashir ended up winning the match to get the four briefcases.
Winners: Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe, “Big” Rob Terry and Sheik Abdul Bashir
Kevin Nash’s briefcase revealed a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Championships. Samoa Joe’s briefcase revealed a shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. We came down to the final two – “Big” Rob Terry and Sheik Abdul Bashir. Terry gets the TNA X Divison Championship title shot, while Sheik Abdul Bashir is fired.
Eight Man Tag Team Elimination
Team 3D, Rhino & Jesse Neal vs. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero & Suicide
Rhino was eliminated when he was rolled up by Hernandez. Matt Morgan, “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero and Suicide joined the match after time expired to even things up. Hernandez took out Jesse Neal with a sick steel chair shot and the referee disqualifed him. Team 3D eliminated Suicide. Were told later that Jesse Neal was disqualified as well. Team 3D eliminated Dinero. It is now down to Matt Morgan against Team 3D. Morgan eliminated Brother Devon. It is now down to Morgan vs. Brother Ray. Morgan got the pinfall over Ray with a Carbon Footprint into a steel chair.
Winner: Matt Morgan
We get a video package promoting the history between Scott Steiner and Bobby Lashley in the last two months.
Last Man Standing
Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner
Scott Steiner was favoring his leg early one after taking a T-Bone Suplex from Lashley. Lots of brawling on the outside. They brawled back to the ring, Steiner tossed Lashley up on the top turnbuckle and Steiner dropped him in a facebuster off the corner. Referee started the count and Lashley was up at 9. Steiner with an overhead suplex on Lashley off the top turnbuckle. Referee starts the count again and Lashley is up at 8. Lashley fights back with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex and running powerslam on Steiner. Referee starts the count and Steiner is up at 9. Steiner with a Frankensteiner off the top rope on Lashley! Steiner grabbed a steel pipe, Kristal Lashley ran down taking it away from Steiner, tossed it in the ring, Lashley hit a Spear and then took out Steiner with the pipe. Referee started the count and Steiner could not answer the 10 count.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Tenay and Taz hype up the next match of Abyss & Mick Foley vs. Raven & Dr. Stevie.
Before the match, Mick Foley declared this a “Foley’s Funhouse Rules” match where anything goes.
Mick Foley & Abyss vs. Raven & Dr. Stevie
Abyss with a big body splash on Raven and Stevie in the corner. Foley dropped a big elbow over the chest of Stevie who was in the tree of woe in the corner. Foley and Raven brawled to the back as Abyss and Stevie remained in the ring. Abyss and Stevie brawled to the outside near a new area they built for the announce table that connects to the entrance ramp. Abyss setup a table and attempted to powerbomb Stevie off the ramp, but Raven broke it up hitting Abyss over the back with a kendo stick. Raven started choking Abyss with it as well. Raven and Stevie started double teaming Abyss at ringside. Raven pulled out some gasoline, but Foley broke it up coming down the ramp with a shopping cart full of weapons taking out Raven and Stevie. Foley hit Stevie and Raven with his barbed wire bat. Foley with a piledriver on Raven in the ring and then a double arm DDT on Stevie. Raven threw powder in Foley’s face when he had the sock ready. Foley and Abyss both get mandible claws on Raven and Stevie. Raven breaks that up and hits an Evenflow DDT on Abyss for a close two count. On the outside, Foley wrapped barbed wire around Stevie and put him on a table. Foley walks up the ramp, jumps off and connects with a flying elbow through the table on Stevie. In the ring, Abyss catches Raven with a Blackhole Slam for the pinfall.
Winners: Mick Foley & Abyss
Backstage, Jeremy Borash interviewed Samoa Joe who earned a briefcase with a shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Joe said the biggest perk is that he can wait as long as he wants to cash in his title shot adding he can do it tonight or even on January 4 during the biggest Impact in TNA history.
Three Degrees of Pain
Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
First Fall: This is a normal singles bout. Lots of hold exchanges early on between the two. Angle continued to go hold for hold with Wolfe. Wolfe worked on the wrists of Angle getting many nearfalls. Wolfe with a few big side headlock takedowns on Angle. Angle with some offense and powerbombs Wolfe right into the corner turnbuckle. Wolfe works over the left arm of Wolfe. Angle with a big overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Angle and Wolfe responds with a flying hammerlock. Angle with a series of german suplexes on Wolfe releasing on the fifth. Angle kicks out of a Tower of London from Wolfe. Angle with an Angle SUplex and Wolfe gets a shoulder up. Angle misses a moonsault and Wolfe connects with a big lariat. Wolfe with another Tower of London and gets the pinfall.
Winner of Fall #1: Desmond Wolfe
Second Fall: This is now submission rules. Wolfe jumps on the back of Angle and pulls back on Angle’s shoulder. Angle rolls out and gets a Figure Four applied on Wolfe. Wolfe breaks free and gets an arm scissor armbar submission on Angle. Angle rolls outs and Wolfe continues to work on Angle’s left arm. Angle powers up to his feet, but Wolfe takes him back down with an arm drag into a wristlock. Angle breaks free and gets an Ankle Lock applied. Wolfe taps out.
Winner of Fall #2: Kurt Angle
Third Fall: The Six Sides of Steel is now legal in this final fall. Angle with a huge overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Wolfe from the top turnbuckle. Angle then sends Wolfe face first into the side of the cage and follows that up with a big clothesline. Wolfe is busted open at this point. Angle attempts a Frog Splash, but Wolfe brings his knees up. Angle ends up catching Wolfe on the shin and Wolfe screams out in pain. A bloody Wolfe yells at the referee to open up the cage door. Wolfe starts crawling out and Angle brings him back in dropping down to apply an Ankle Lock. Wolfe starts tapping, but you can’t win the match that way. Angle keeps it applied and Wolfe looks to pass out from the pain. Angle breaks the hold and starts climbing out the cage. Wolfe comes to, sees Angle climbing out, tries climbing out through the door, but Angle drops down first to get the win.
Winner of Fall #3: Kurt Angle
Winner of Three Degrees of Pain: Kurt Angle (2-1)
We then see highlights of each of the three falls.
Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Mick Foley. Foley said despite his big win tonight, he has other matters to address and that is Hulk Hogan. He promises that Hogan will answer his questions on January 4, live on Impact.
A video package runs highlighting the events between AJ Styles and Daniels leading into tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs. Daniels
Jeremy Borash did the ring introductions for the challenger Daniels and champion AJ Styles.
Styles and Daniels had an intense stare down as the bell rang. Daniels catches Styles with a big slap early on to upset Styles. Daniels locks up the left arm of Styles in his knees and Styles screams out in pain. Styles fires back choking Daniels with his legs. Daniels continues to roll through offense attempts by Styles. Styles catches Daniels with a big dropkick as Daniels shot off the ropes. Quick head scissors takedown by Styles on Daniels followed by a quick snap suplex. Styles with a big flip dive over the top rope taking out Daniels on the outside who slid out. Styles with a big wind up lariat on Daniels. Daniels comes back with a monkey flip sending Styles into the corner turnbuckle with force. Daniels grabs two steel chairs and sets them up. Daniels sits Styles down on one, goes to hit Styles, the referee pulls that chair away and with the referee’s back turned Daniels slams Styles over the one that was setup. Daniels tosses Styles back in and gets a close two count. Styles comes back with another head scissors takedown.
Daniels with a forearm to the back when Styles attempted a springboard off the top turnbuckle. Daniels grabs Styles looking to hit a back superplex, but Daniels drops Styles back first off the top of the turnbuckle! Very nasty landing for Styles there. Daniels with a springboard moonsault over Styles right into a Crossface. Styles grabs onto the bottom rope to break it up. Styles with a big hammerlock back suplex on Daniels. Another nasty spot saw Daniels attempt a springboard huracanrana from the ring, but Styles held on and powerbombed Daniels on the floor. Styles with a backbreaker across the knee on Daniels. Styles fires back with a big springboard inverted DDT on Daniels that gets a close two count. Daniels crotches Styles up on the top rope. Daniels climbs up on the ropes and superplexes Styles back into the middle of the ring. Daniels puts Styles up on the top turnbuckle and catches Styles with a huge right hand. Daniels huracanrana’s Styles off the top rope and connects with a Shining Wizard for a two count. Daniels has a huge knot on his head. Styles fights back hitting a huge brainbuster on Daniels.
Styles with a springboard clothesline on Daniels, cover and Daniels gets his boot on the bottom rope. Styles with a Pele Kick on Daniels, attempts the Styles Clash, but Daniels reaches and hooks himself in the ropes. Styles starts kicking Daniels in the back to break it up. Styles catches Daniels with a big kick to the back of the head, but Daniels holds on to the referee to counter a german suplex attempt. Daniels knocks out Styles and connects with a huge BME (Best Moonsault Ever), covers and gets a very close two count. Daniels can’t believe it and starts hitting some stiff right hands. Styles catapults Daniels into the corner, Daniels falls back, Styles rolls through, hits the Styles Clash and Daniels finds a way to kick out. Daniels gets Styles up on the top turnbuckle, looks to attempt a huracanrana, but Styles holds on and hits a Styles Clash on Daniels from the corner. Styles turns over and gets the pinfall.
Winner & STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
Hey folks, I’m ThinkSoJoE, and I’ll be your host for our TNA Final Resolution 2009 roundtable. Ready? Let’s go!
TNA World Heavyweight Championship match: AJ Styles (C) vs. Daniels
Drowgoddess: AJ retains after the possible match of the night, and some skullduggery on the part of Daniels. AJ/Daniels can continue to build for a while, and Daniels shouldn’t get the win and title just yet. Additionally, AJ is the ideal face of the company, and during this time of major upheaval, taking the belt off of him would be an incredibly foolish move.
chjpacheco: Daniels wins via DQ
JT: AJ Styles over Daniels
ThinkSoJoE: We’re treading water until Hogan shows up, look for Styles and Daniels to steal the show but for Styles to retain.
Three Degrees of Pain: Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
Drowgoddess: Desmond Wolfe wins in the third match after considerable treachery. The matches between these two have been fantastic, and the feud should not end yet. Angle pulled out a last-second win at the last ppv, and Wolfe needs one here to keep the momentum and the feud going. A loss here will not hurt Angle at all.
chjpacheco: Wolfe wins only reason i say that is because of Kurt’s neck
JT: Wolfe over Angle
ThinkSoJoE: I think Wolfe will take this one. I’d actually like to see more of Wolfe vs. Daniels, but I’ll take a continuation of Wolfe/Angle any day.
Last Man Standing Match: Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner
Drowgoddess: I really don’t care about this match at all. I’d like to see Steiner win because Lashley is a complete waste of space. However, until TNA decides what to do about Lashley’s MMA career, they’ll likely try to keep him as strong as possible. Steiner holds the only victory over Lashley in TNA right now, so Lashley will probably win here. Kristal will help.
chjpacheco: Steiner because if Bobby as his wife at ring side she will be a distraction
JT: Bobby Lashley over Scott Steiner
ThinkSoJoE: Lashley is likely going to pick up the win here. I’d love to see Steiner win, but I just can’t see it happening for some reason.
TNA World Tag Team Championship: The British Invasion (C) vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Drowgoddess: Oh. Sweet. Mother. Of. God. This match has gotten zero attention, zero hype, and precisely one promo pointing out the lack of attention given the match. The promo war between Alex Shelley and Brutus Magnus could have been GOLD! That’s as may be. Give the MCMG the tag team title run that they have so richly deserved for the past two and a half years, already!
chjpacheco: MCM i hate the british invasion they need NOT to have the belts
JT: Machineguns w win the titles
ThinkSoJoE: You guys are kidding yourselves. The British Invasion are not losing those titles tonight, not in a completely underhyped match with zero real buildup against a team that, despite quite possibly being the best tag team in the world, hasn’t been pushed like one.
TNA Knockouts Championship: ODB (C) vs. Tara
Drowgoddess: Tara wins. ODB’s heel turn and recent losses on “iMPACT” have weakened her enough that she would be better as the resentful ex-champ chasing her title.
chjpacheco: Tara its her time to shine
JT: No title change here
ThinkSoJoE: I’ve got to go with Tara. ODB is definitely in line for a heel turn, and the tactics she’s been using definitely lend themselves toward a title chase. Tara will overcome ODB and walk out as Knockouts Champion.
Mick Foley & Abyss vs. Raven & Dr. Stevie
Drowgoddess: Raven and Dr. Stevie win. Foley will not be focused on this match, and won’t really care what happens. Abyss takes the fall here.
chjpacheco: Raven and Dr. Stevie i have a feeling that an old friend from ecw is going to show up
JT: Raven and Dr. Stevie win
ThinkSoJoE: Raven and Dr. Stevie are really the first victims of Hogan coming in, aren’t they? They haven’t gotten a lot of TV time over the past couple of weeks because one of their opponents is too busy worrying about Hogan. That’s also going to be Foley’s downfall, as he’ll be too concerned about Hogan to worry about actually winning this match.
Team 3D, Rhino, and Jesse Neal vs. D’Angelo Dinero, Matt Morgan, Suicide, and Hernandez
Drowgoddess: Hernandez lasts the first five minutes against the entire heel team, but will be eliminated after his team enters. The babyface team will get down to either Matt Morgan or “The Pope.” The heel team will outnumber the last babyface. Either Morgan or “The Pope” gets the win for his team.
chjpacheco: Team 3D, Rhino, Jesse Neal..just cuz they’re better
JT: Morgan and Suicide surivive!
ThinkSoJoE: There’s something strange going on, and I can’t quite figure out what it is. It’s got to do with Suicide. I’m picking Team 3D, Rhino, and Jesse Neal, simply because I have a feeling in my gut that something will happen with Suicide.
Feast Or Fired: Samoa Joe, Beer Money Inc., Kevin Nash, Eric Young, and Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Kiyoshi, Homicide, Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, and Cody Deaner
Drowgoddess: Samoa Joe gets the X-Division title shot, and is furious. He will go on a rampage over this.
Kiyoshi gets the Tag Team title shot for himself and Bashir against the new champs, the MCMG.
I thought that Rob Terry was in this match, and I was calling him to get the World Heavyweight title shot, but since that doesn’t seem to be true, Robert Roode gets it.
Either Cody Deaner or Eric Young will get fired, but Young will be reinstated by Kevin Nash.
chjpacheco: Cody Deaner gets fired just because he isn’t being used and he sucks feast will be Kevin Nash because he has the money
JT: Eric Young gets fired, James storm gets the title shot, Roode gets the X-division shot and cody deaner gets the tag shot.
ThinkSoJoE: Deaner’s getting fired, I think that’s pretty obvious. Storm is going to grab the Tag Team Championship shot, Homicide the X division title shot, and finally, Samoa Joe the World Championship shot. No reason for the picks, just really not sure.
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Find out tonight as TNA Wrestling Presents Final Resolution!
I apologize for this review going up late. Usually our SmackDown reviews are up way earlier than this but unforeseen circumstances have pushed it back. Alright, let’s go!
So. There’s no matches mentioned in TNA’s preview of tonight’s show. A lot of talking segments. I hate reviewing talking segments. For what it’s worth, tomorrow’s my mom’s birthday, so, even though my mom probably has no idea that I run this site, happy birthday, Mom!