You know, I think my couch might be a little too comfortable. Last night I fell asleep watching Extreme Rules, which was a solid event top to bottom, and tonight I fell asleep watching RAW. Maybe it’s just me recovering from the illness that kept me from doing this RAW review last week. Who knows. Maybe it was RAW that put me to sleep? Guess we’ll find out over the next few hours. Let’s go!
Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. You know my deal by now. Watch at home, leave before it ends, watch again to review. Just click the jump.
No wisecracks or jokes to start this week’s RAW review. WWE has dedicated tonight to honoring the memory of Warrior, and out of respect for Warrior, I will save such nonsense for the performers on the show. For what it’s worth, the autopsy results are in, Warrior died of heart disease. While the investigation is still ongoing, it should be noted that the initial reports say natural causes, so no matter what some TV talking head would have you believe, Warrior’s death did not involve drugs or alcohol.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is in New York today to be on one of my favorite TV shows! That’s right, he’s a guest on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to promote his new movie, Sabotage. And he’s also on some other show filming live from New York tonight – Brooklyn to be more precise. He’s one of the guest hosts of Monday Night RAW! But we’ll get there in a little bit. Some other stuff happens first. What kind of stuff? I guess you’ll have to read on!
I watched 2 hours of this show and still have no idea what happened, so I’ll start over and post my findings here. Go ahead, click the “Read More” link. You know you want to.
Let me tell you right now that the first hour of this show pretty much dragged. That said, I’m going to be really skimming through it this week. The second hour was actually pretty good, and the start of hour three? Well, you’ll see when we get there. So, let’s go!
I watch the first two hours at home, drive to work, then have to watch the entire show again because I forgot what happened and didn’t have the foresight to review it live. It’s irrelevant anyway – you’re more interested in Gregory Iron being our special guest on this Sunday’s BWF Radio.
That Damn Double C’s Dallas Stars beat my Sabres and ended their winning streak tonight. But that’s hockey talk. You’re here for wrestling. You guys want to know what happened on Monday Night RAW. Did CM Punk show up? The hell if I know. I’m still waiting to get RAW to review for you. I watched most of the show, and I actually didn’t want to leave when I had to because there was a good segment going on. So, let’s see what I can do from memory before I actually get a copy of the show. I watch until I have to leave. Then I forget what happened and have to relay it to you as I watch it again. So yes, I suffer through most of this show TWICE for you. You’re welcome. Now go run along to the SmackDown review and tell G how great he is.(more…)
If you haven’t heard by now, the main event for tonight’s Monday Night RAW was announced last week. I refuse to watch it. Which means I’m not reviewing it either. In fact, there will be no mention of this match in this review. The participants may be referred to if they do something outside of the match, but that’s it. If you give a shit about said main event, it’s probably on WWE.com and you can go watch it there. It’s not even the fact that I don’t care too much for the two guys actually wrestling in the match (though that’s part of it), it’s moreso the fact that this is the match that we were supposed to PAY for in both December and January. It’s been done. I’m done with it. Fuck it. Let’s go.
I watch this show, and I often find myself questioning why, now moreso than ever. What really is best for business? Not listening to the fans? I hope half the viewers changed the channel during the main event. Read on.
Well. We can pretty much assume that CM Punk will not be on RAW this week. Will his absence leave a noticeable mark on the show? I guess there’s only one way to find out. Go watch it, you lazy bastards. What? It’s my job to write about this show and tell you these things so you don’t have to watch it yourselves? Alright fine. Let’s go.
I watch this show so you don’t have to suffer through it. That’s because I think you’re awesome. Unless you’re Richard Sherman. How much shit are you talking with an injured leg? Guess you’re limping to DisneyWorld, huh bitch?
What the fuck did I pay $55 for last night? I swear, with Batista winning the Royal Rumble and now set to headline WrestleMania, I’m glad the “granddaddy of them all” will be available as part of the WWE Network, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be paying full price for it. It would probably be another main event like last year, where nobody gives a shit and we all sit around playing card games instead of paying attention to the PPV. Let’s see if they make up for one of, in my opinion, the worst WWE Pay Per Views of all time.
I watch 30 minutes of this show, then go to work. Then I watch the rest and write about it so you don’t have to suffer through it yourself. You’re welcome.
Usually, I watch 30 minutes of the show and have to leave for work. This evening, however, I was home for the first 2:15 of RAW. I wasn’t paying much attention though – I was too busy beating Jorge at a game called Cards Against Humanity. So, I’ll do this review the same way I normally do, just out of necessity for content. I just won’t be as surprised as I watch, because half the shit I already saw earlier. Which is usually true of WWE shows lately. Anyways, I digress. Let’s go!
I watch RAW. I beat Jorge at depraved card games. Then I come to work and review the show.
While we wait impatiently for the launch of the WWE Network, we have to get through 7 more Monday Night RAWs, including this one and the one on February 24th. Roddy Piper tweeted out some cryptic messages regarding tonight’s RAW, so let’s see if anything comes of that. Let’s go!
Blah blah blah you know what we do here. Shut up and read it.
