Welcome all and how is everyone? Things are all well here in JTland , but enough about me, I have a whole week of wrestling to to talk about. So without further ado, lets get this show on the road:
1. More releases this week. Last week I forgot to mention the release of WWE referee Scott Armstrong. For those who don’t know, Armstrong was the referee who made The Undertaker “tap out” to CM Punk at Breaking Point. This is a shock because you don’t hear about referee’s being released that often. Also released this week was Charlie Haas which is really no surprise because we barely saw him on TV in the last year, so it was coming.
2.RIP Angelo Poffo, father of The Genius and Randy “Macho Man” Savage.
3. TNA released Awesome Kong, Traci Broooks, and Roxxi. I guess they won’t be focusing hat much on the Knockouts anymore.
4. Sean Morley (aka Val Venis) has left TNA to work in Mexico saying TNA had nothing solid yet. Damn, I figured that TNA would have him under some kind of contract seeming that he just went over TNA founder Jeff Jarrett this past week on iMPACT!
5. So, tomorrow is the “big night” where iMPACT! goes head to head with RAW. While I wish them all the best, unless they air the replays on Thursday, I won’t be tuning in.
6. Rob Van Dam is scheduled to appear on tomorrow night’s iMPACT!
7. What was with the squash match Money In The Bank qualifying matches on RAW this week? Ok, I understand Jack Swagger killing Santino Marella, because Marella is a jobber, but MVP squashing Zack Ryder shouldn’t have happened especially after pushing him to the moon on ECW.
8. Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon in the inductee into the class of 2010 WWE Hall Of Fame.
9. I’m still not really into the NXT program. I just don’t get what everybody likes about it.
10. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch the Goldust/Chris Jericho match from this weeks Superstars. Hell the whole show was goos, but the Jericho/Goldust matchup was awesome. Lets hope WWE does something with Goldust now that he’s on Smackdown.
11. Ok, so WWE now stops matches when someone gets a cut (Chavo was cut during his match with Kofi Kingston). Come on, this is stupid. Even the live fans didn’t like it. It’s one thing to do it during a live show, but to do during a taped show is just stupid.
12. John Morrison and R-Truth are facing Show-Miz for the WWE Unified Tag Team Titles. I think someone said that a couple weeks ago in his Random article. I wonder who that could be?
13. We have a Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang sightings, yet they weren’t jobbing together. In fact Slam Master J didn’t even wrestle.
14. I don’t know why people give Matt Hardy crap for being fat, he really isn’t. He’s in better shape than most of us are.
15. Apparently now you can get your losses removed from you record no in the WWE, even when you lose clean, twice. Who knew.
16. On a final note, for all of those interested, I will be hosting the Wrestlemania 26 Roundtable and I would like to make this a big one, so all are welcome, but please get me your picks by no later than Friday March 26, 8pm eastern so I can have it up Sat morning.
Ok that all for another week, thanks again for reading and see you all next week.
What’s up everyone and welcome to the second edition of the Roundtable. Tonight I am your host as we sit down and predict this Sunday’s “Hell In A Cell” pay per view! Tonight we all of the BWF staff on board with their predictions, so without further ado, let’s get this show on the road:
1. World Heavyweight Championship Match- CM Punk vs. Undertaker (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: Punk retains. Oh yeah, nobody else picks it, but watch for Batista.
ThinkSoJoE: We still don’t know for sure who put Long, Punk, and Scott Armstrong up to screwing The Undertaker at Breaking Point, so I’m sure that he’ll get screwed again at Hell In A Cell. Punk’s leaving with the gold.
Tharvey1: Undertaker over CM Punk
Drowgoddess: I want CM Punk to win and retain the title. It’s considered a foregone conclusion that Taker wins here, but it’s just too soon. Taker winning here makes no sense.
JT: It is more logical to have Punk retain here since he has people to feud with such as Batista, Rey Mysterio, And even to a lesser extent Great Khali and John Morrsion. If Taker wins he has Kane and that’s about it unless they turn Batista heel, which I don’t see happening. Punk retains.
2. Divas Championship Match- Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox:
Legend Killer: Mickie James. Who the hell is Alicia Fox?
ThinkSoJoE: Why even have a Hell in a Cell PPV if you don’t have EVERY match inside a Hell In A Cell? This one will be a victory for Mickie James if the WWE wants their women’s division to have even an ounce of credibility compared to TNA’s
Tharvey1: Mickie James over Alicia Fox
Drowgoddess: Mickie James. That Alicia Fox is even in a ppv title match is appalling.
JT: Mickie James. Do I really need to explain.
3. WWE Championship Match- John Cena vs. Randy Orton (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: Cena. Because the WWE are like that.
ThinkSoJoE: Cena just won the title. Cena sells merchandise. WWE have a new toy deal starting in January with Mattel, and cheap looking toy championships to sell. Cena ain’t losing at HIAC.
Tharvey1: John Cena over Randy Orton
Drowgoddess: Cena wins. After the last RAW, it’s a given.
JT: I think that the stipulation in that if Orton loses, he can’t have another title shot. So, I’m going with Orton here. Plus like with Punk, it’s better for Orton to be champ, since he can go on to feud with HHH and HBK and even the long awaited Mark Henry feud we’ve all been waiting for. If Cena wins, he has nobody and babyface vs. babyface feuds can’t happen all the time.
4. D-Generation X vs. The Legacy (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: DX. See previous match. Also, Cody Rhodes was Rey Mysterio jr. in WCW.
ThinkSoJoE: If there wasn’t another PPV between now and Survivor Series, there would be no question in my mind about Legacy winning this match. My assumption is that they’re still booking DX & Cena vs. Orton and Legacy as the dark main event for RAW events after Bragging Rights later this month, the theory of DX finally getting their revenge at Survivor Series could still hold up. I’m going to go with Legacy here.
Tharvey1: DX over Legacy
Drowgoddess: Who are we kidding? DX wins here, and in humiliating fashion. I completely disagree with the people who say that DX has effectively put over Legacy, and that a DX win at HIAC is acceptable.
JT: I’ve got two words for ya: “DX WINS!” I don’t see Legacy having any chance here.
5. United States Championship Match- Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger:
Legend Killer: The Miz. His opponents are a palm tree after a bushfire, and the second is the re-incarnation of Dusty Rhodes. ThinkSoJoe: All three of these guys have been in a game of one-upsmanship over the past few weeks. Kofi’s outsmarted Miz and Swagger on a few occasions, leading me to believe he’s retaining.
Tharvey1: Jack Swagger over Miz and Kofi Kingston
Drowgoddess: I like all three of these guys, and will be happy no matter who wins. That said, I’m going with Kofi to retain, and Swagger and The Miz to develop a feud of their own over it.
JT: Kofi Kingstion has been champion since June, so a title change is eminent. I’m gonna go with Swagger here.
6. Unified Tag Team Championship Match- Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio:
Legend Killer: Batista and Rey. You really see them losing? Silly wrestling fan, WWE is for kids. Yes, the WWE is now a breakfast cereal.
ThinkSoJoE: Look. I’m going to give the same prediction I’ve given before. They took the time to have a band come in and remake a remix of Jericho and Big Show’s theme music. They’re not splitting the team up this quickly by ending their reign at Hell In A Cell. If they do, and I have to see Batista when RAW comes to Buffalo in three weeks, I’ll be very upset.
Tharvey1: JeriShow over Boretista and Rey Mysterio
Drowgoddess: Batista and Rey would not be in this match if they weren’t going to win it. I don’t want them to, but I predict that they will. That said, I want JeriShow to retain until Edge comes back, and have Edge and Jericho start their inevitable feud with Edge and Christian (who will have lost the ECW title to Regal) winning the tag team titles one more time.
JT: There hasn’t been enough build for this match for me to believe that the titles will change hands. Plus Mysterio has unfinished business with John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler. Plus both Rey and Batista are the next in line to be World Title contenders. Jericho and Big Show retain and keep thetitles until Edge returns and causes them to lose them.
7. Intercontinental Championship Match- John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler:
Legend Killer: errrr … Morrison?
ThinkSoJoE: PLEASE let Ziggler win. It’s no secret that I’m a huge JoMo mark, but the whole “Mr. Ziggles” thing got real old, real quick. I want Ziggler to win just so Morrison will take him seriously enough to stop calling him that. So, my pick is Ziggler.
Tharvey1: John Morrison over Dolph Ziggler
Drowgoddess: Ziggler has been doing well, and I like the guy more than I thought I would, but I don’t see the Guru of Greatness losing the title just yet. With the hint of a Maria heel turn recently, I’d like to see a slow burn on that where Maria eventually does something despicable to help Ziggler win the title, and we have a new heel couple. Morrison retains.
JT: With Rey returning, I think that he’ll want a rematch for the title at some point, probably the first or second Smackdown after the pay per view, and he will face the champion, John Morrison! Ziggler’s day is coming though.
Alright that’s all thanks for joining us for this edition of the BWF Roundtable. Tune in tomorrow for “Hell In A Cell” coverage, plus an all new Random Randomness!
Here we go again, same old sh*t again with another week gone by and quite a few random things happening this week in the world as I see it. Well without further interruption, let’s get this show on the road: (more…)
Teddy Long shows up in his limo and looks paranoid after what he did to The Undertaker this past Sunday at Breaking Point. He surrounds himself with security and asks them to stick close to him.
The SmackDown video plays, and we’re on our way!
Batista is here. Great. He chose to be on SmackDown, and he can’t wait to get started.
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
Chris Jericho is here to save this segment. He says Batista makes him sick. He calls him an injury prone loser like Edge. He tells Batista that Jericho is the true face of SmackDown, and that everybody knows it. A lot has changed since Batista’s been gone, and he’s been gone a long time, and Jericho is now the man on this show. Batista says to be the man, you’ve gotta beat the man. He says they’ll have a chance to catch up, because tonight, Jericho has a match against Batista. The Animal promptly hits a spinebuster on Jericho.
Jericho asks Big Show backstage where he was. Big Show says that Jericho wanted to do it by himself. Jericho says he’ll do it by himself and tells Show to wait backstage. Show tells him to relax.
Still to come, an interview with Scott Armstrong.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Dolph Ziggler is sitting in on commentary, and the WWE Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison makes his way to the ring for action. His opponent will be Mike Knox, who gives us a lesson on Restless Leg Syndrome.
John Morrison def. Mike Knox
SmackDown always has the best wrestling of the week. This match, no exception. Morrison picks up the win with the Starship Pain.
Morrison takes the mic after the match and he says he hopes Dolph had a good time playing footsie with Todd Grisham (who is awesome on the new SmackDown 10th Anniversary DVD). He says does the Mr. Ziggles bit again, and it’s way less funny this week. The fans aren’t getting behind it as much, either.
Todd Grisham and JR show us footage from Breaking Point. Meaning, if you paid for it, you should be pissed off because they just showed the only important part of the whole show on free television. Anyways, Josh Matthews asks Armstrong why he did what he did. He says he answered to somebody in a position much higher than the one he’s at. He was asked to do something he knew was wrong, and something he’s not proud of. He makes no excuses, he did what he had to do to keep his job.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Batista vs. Chris Jericho will be our main event tonight, but for now, here’s somebody that Batista’s allegedly slept with, Melina! Her opponent, the WWE Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool, limps to the ring.
Michelle McCool def. Melina
Justin Roberts did not announce this as a Triple Threat. Anyhow, Michelle is aggressive in this one, but it’s not enough as Melina picks up the victory with a rolling powerbomb.
Teddy Long is backstage with his security force when Mr. McMahon walks in. The Chairman excuses the security team and he wonders again where his picture was. He enjoyed the surprise of Batista coming to SmackDown. He doesn’t seem so impressed with what he came up with for Breaking Point. He wants to know why T-Lo double crossed The Undertaker. McMahon wants an explanation, and it’d better be the right one. In fact, he owes the WWE Universe an answer. He sends Long to the ring and tells him he’ll be waiting back in his office. He asks if Long has any idea what The Undertaker is going to do to him. Long heads to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Theodore Long is flanked by security as he heads to the ring to offer up an explanation as to why he screwed The Undertaker at Breaking Point. Long welcomes Batista back to SmackDown. He then admits that all of this was pre-planned. It was pre-planned to prevent The Undertaker from becoming the World Heavyweight Champion. Long isn’t going to say that he’s proud of what he did, because he’s not. He’s not going to say that he’s not afraid of The Undertaker, because he is. He knows that The Undertaker may show up here sometime tonight, which is why he’s surrounded himself with security. He’s not the only one involved, Scott Armstrong and CM Punk were in on it too. Long knows how he feels about this conspiracy, and he’d like to tell us why he did what he did. You see, he’s got a family to take care of. Times are tough, and he can’t let them down. He’s too old to learn to do something new, so therefore, he’d like to apologize for his actions. The crowd boos. He says he’d like to apologize to the WWE Universe, and he’d like to apologize to each and every one of the fans. He’d especially like to apologize to The Undertaker. One last thing. He hopes that The Undertaker can find it in his heart to forgive him. Long leaves with his security in tow.
Backstage, the security team hears noises as they walk Long to his limo. Long gets in and tells the drive he’s ready to go. The doors lock, the privacy window rolls down, and The Undertaker says “Buckle up, Teddy” as smoke and lightning fill the back of the limo.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK> – if you’re in the Buffalo area, MyNetwork TV is giving away tickets to Monday Night RAW in a “watch and win” sweepstakes. Yes, it’s possible to win – I won last week!
CM Punk, the World Heavyweight Champion is here, and he has a microphone. He says, “I told you so.” Punk says he’s the only man who ever made The Undertaker tap out. Which isn’t true. Watch the Angle/Undertaker match on the SmackDown DVD. Punk admits he’s been preaching, because the people need a good preaching to. He then goes on a tirade about drugs. He calls everybody a liar, and says he’s a prophet, the choice of a new generation, a champion everybody can be proud of, the first and only straight edge World Heavyweight Champion in history. If you’re not Straight Edge like Punk, that means he’s better than you.
Still to come, Batista vs. Chris Jericho!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The Great Khali vs. Kane is still to come, but right now, it’s Cryme Tyme. Did I fall asleep and miss the good matches on SmackDown and wake up on Monday? Their opponents are from Canada, which happens to be where SmackDown is, so they’re getting cheered – they’re the Hart Dynasty!
The Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme
I swear if the Harts lose tonight, I’m done with WWE. Luckily, Kidd hit the Blockbuster on JTG and picked up the victory, so it hasn’t come to that.
Melina is looking trashy as ever backstage when she walks into the Divas locker room, which is plastered with pictures of Dolph Ziggler helping Michelle McCool last week. Maria says she’s sure Dolph has a logical explanation and wonders why Melina wouldn’t come to her with this instead of plastering pictures all over the wall. Melina tries to explain that she didn’t do it, but Maria walks away.
Still to come, Batista vs. Jericho, but up next, Kane vs. Khali.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The Great Khali is out first for this next abomination of a professional wrestling match. Kane follows, and we’re underway.
Kane vs. The Great Khali
Kane knocked Khali out with a chair.
After the bell, Kane used the steel steps to completely destroy Khali’s knee.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
WWE Smack of the Week: Drew McIntyre destroying R-Truth over the last few weeks.
Charlie Haas is on non-entrance jobber duty. R-Truth’s music plays, but Drew McIntyre comes out instead. He says R-Truth had an accident in the backstage area and can’t compete. He declare Haas the winner by forfeit. Haas shakes his hand, and then gets attacked and dropped with a double armed DDT.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Batista def. Chris Jericho
Jericho went for a Codebreaker but was caught and hit with a Batista Bomb for the win.
Backstage, Big Show says Batista got lucky, and that when he gets in the ring with him next week, his luck will run out.
Sorry for the lack of detail, guys, I got caught up in something else that I didn’t think would take as long as it has. I’m hitting up an independent show tomorrow night, so I’ll be here to give you thoughts and pictures from that. See you then!
We start proceedings with the happenings of the WWE’s latest Pay-Per-View extravaganza, Breaking Point. The event was held in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, the home of the infamous screwjob at the 1997 Survivor Series, and this same event, included it’s own screwjob. CM Punk, the World Heavyweight Champion, controversially retained the title, after his opponent, the Undertaker had his win taken off him, due to an ‘illegal submission hold’. Smackdown! General Manager, Teddy Long, used an old rule implemented by Vickie Guerrero, and banned Undertaker’s Devil’s Triangle. The same move used to make CM Punk submit at Breaking Point. Using this technicality so to speak, means it gives Punk a chance to beat the Undertaker in a submission match, and it builds onto the next PPV, Hell In A Cell.
Jeff Hardy was arrested for drug possession. No wonder he wanted to leave the WWE.
Linda McMahon has resigned from the WWE, to concentrate on running to become a Senator in her home state of Conneticut. Good for her. I hope things work out well for her.
Onto TNA news, and TNA have announced the firings of BG James, and Jim Cornette. This is a bad move. Cornette is a mastermind when it comes to wrestling, and with BG James gone, this allows him to come back and be the third member in D-Generation X, which is just what we need.
No Surrender is this weekend, and Kurt Angle defends the TNA Heavyweight Championship against Matt Morgan, Sting and AJ Styles. My predictions will come later in the week, and I suggest that the rest of the BWF staff follow suit.
Song of the Week: From the album ‘Hulk Rules’ by the Wrestling Boot Travelling Band, it’s Track 4 from that album. I strangely enjoy this song.
Onto other news of the week.
South African athlete Caster Semenya, has been revealed to have both male and female sexual organs, making her a hermaphrodite. South African officals are unsure as to whether he/she is allowed to keep her 800m World Championships Gold Medal.
Kanye West has taken over John Edward as the biggest douche in the universe, after his stunt at the VMAs this past week.
I thought Jay Leno left the Tonight Show? Explain to me how his new show is different, except for the timeslot.
Both of my Yahoo Fantasy! NFL teams won this week. Cheer the mighty D-Crippilation X to victory!
Patrick Swayze passed away at age 57, after his 20 month battle with pancreatic cancer. Some people say he was a sex symbol at his age before his death. I say he was in Roadhouse, and cleaned house with Terry Funk. RIP.
Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Whitney Houston. According to one of his ‘sex slaves’, Osama would talk about Whitney all the time. Whitney responded in this manner. Then Tyra had to have her say. Finally, Danny Noriega had this to say.
That’s all for this week. Tune into BWF programming later in the week.
William Regal demands an ECW title rematch on the basis that his mindset was thrown off at Breaking Point by Tiffany’s decision to ban Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov from ringside. Tiffany declines, telling him she’s decided he doesn’t get another shot. Instead, we’ll get a battle royal later on tonight to determine the number one contender. Regal is then instructed to stay in the ring, as he’s got a match, right now…
Stand back! There’s a Hurricane Coming Through!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
William Regal def. The Hurricane
Apparently, this means that The Hurricane won’t be in the battle royal later tonight – Whasssupwitdat? Regal is forced to compete in his street clothes as this match was a complete surprise to him, and it shows, as The Hurricane controls most of it, and in fact hits the cross body from the top rope for a two. Regal decides to leave, but Hurricane catches him and tosses him back in – and gets kneed in the skull for his troubles – and a three count.
After the match, Paul Burchill attacks The Hurricane from behind and hits him with the Jackhammer.
Backstage, Goldust is apologizing to Yoshi Tatsu, who apparently just wants to continue his English lessons. He even impersonates Goldust’s tourettes. Zack Ryder wants to know if he can say loser. Goldust tells him to say loser – and he says “Zack Ryder.” Ryder says we’ll see who the loser is – Woo Woo Woo.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The new interview girl catches up with Burchill, who asks where Gregory Helms is, and remembers that he supposedly just left him in the ring. He says he wants to expose the Hurricane for who he is. Which makes me wonder why he didn’t unmask him when he knocked him out a few minutes ago.
The Bella Twins are here to be guest ring announcers. They introduce Yoshi Tatsu first, and considering he’s facing Zack Ryder, I hope he’s wearing an extra pair of tights. Matt Striker says that Zack Ryder has the best entrance music in ECW. I think it’s between his and Christian’s, honestly. And I still love Goldust’s theme.
Before getting into the match, however, I just found out that Mick Foley’s father, Jack, has passed away, so I’d like to take the opportunity to send condolences on behalf of the BWF staff to the Foley family.
Yoshi Tatsu def. Zack Ryder
A pretty good match, ending with Tatsu nearly kicking Ryder’s head off.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Battle Royal time. Shelton Benjamin, Vladimir Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust (who still has a letterbox entrance despite the fact that the show is broadcast in 16:9 widescreen), Tyler Reks, Sheamus…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
…Yoshi Tatsu, Paul Burchill, and Zack Ryder (still holding the back of his head).
Zack Ryder wins a 10 Man Battle Royal to become the new Number One Contender for the ECW Championship.
Burchill is tossed by Shelton Benjamin. After about 5 minutes of nothing of any interest happening, Kozlov and Jackson stare each other down.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Reks was eliminated during the break. Jackson eliminates Tatsu. The fans are solidly behind Goldust. Seriously. Sheamus is eliminated by Benjamin, as is Jackson. Sheamus attacks Benjamin, causing him to drop to the floor, eliminating him. Ryder, Goldust, Kozlov, and Dreamer are left. Goldust accidentally eliminates himself while going after Ryder, who pulled the ropes down on him. The same thing happens to Kozlov when he goes after Dreamer, who is dumped over the top rope by the winner, Zack Ryder!
Ryder’s getting a title shot. Woo Woo Woo, you know it!
Your Empress of “Impact” is, for one night only, your Reina of RAW! As I shall be missing this week’s “Impact,” I traded reviews with our fearless leader and founder, ThinkSoJoE. What fallout will we see from last night’s “Breaking Point” ppv? Will Trish Stratus have blonde hair again? Join us here and on the BWF thread for RAW, and find out!
Holy Crap! We have a Jimmy Wang Yang sighting. Kane totally destroys him, but he got tv time.
Match 2: Yoshi Tatsu vs Shaemus
Shaemus is becoming one of my favorites! This guy is huge and good, which usually doesn’t happen. Sheamus gets the win.
Match 3: Katie Lea vs Nikki Bella…or is it Bre?
The Bella’s use the ole switcharoo and Bre ends up pinning Katie Lea.
Match 4: Dolph Ziggler vs Slam Master J
Dolph gets the win here. Slam Master J would have been great in 2 Cool, but now his gimmick is terrible. He needs to restart the Freebirds. Why did the IC Title match get scrapped for Breaking Point?
Main Event: The Miz and Jack Swagger vs Kofi Kingston and Primo
The Miz gets the pin in this one. The Miz and Swagger should be main eventing PPVs by now.
We’re not wasting any time – the bell tolls and The Undertaker is heading towards the ring!
He says that the sands of time have fallen slowly through the hourglass, but in two days, he’ll reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship and once again cast his shadow of darkness over SmackDown. He’s sure by now CM Punk is growing very tired. By now, he’s constantly waking up in the middle of the night in a puddle of his own sweat, consumed by fear, knowing that his Breaking Point will be realized when he feels the grip of Hell’s Gate. Submission is the only alternative to an eternity of pain. When Punk submits, and he will submit, not only will he relinquish the World Heavyweight Championship, but he will personally hand Undertaker his soul, and thus the symphony of lies shall end.
The World Heavyweight Champion has heard enough, and he comes out on the stage, microphone in hand. He says that he sees through the smoke and mirrors, and sees Undertaker for what he really is. While Jeff Hardy was a charismatic enabler, Undertaker is so much worse. He’s prayed on these people’s chemically influenced minds for nearly 20 years. He’s like this generations Alice in Wonderland. He’s created a self destructive cycle because all of these people actually believe in The Undertaker. They believe he’s got magical powers that allow him to come back and vanquish any foe. They believe, get this, that The Undertaker has a chance of taking the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday. What they don’t realize is that Punk is stronger than the Undertaker’s previous victims. He’s not after Undertaker’s soul, he just wants to make him tap out. Imagine the reaction when Taker does tap out? They just lost Jeff Hardy, and now they’ll watch The Undertaker submit to the Anaconda Vice. They’ll go and get drunk, pop some pain pills, just to numb themselves from the reality that their hero tapped out. We’ll get a glimpse of it tonight when Punk makes Matt Hardy tap out to the Anaconda Vice. He asks The Undertaker not to interfere, because he wants everybody to get a glimpse of the world we’ll all live in after he makes Undertaker tap at Breaking Point. There will only be one icon, the choice of a new generation, the only straight edge World Champion in history, CM Punk. They’ll all be forced to join Punk and just say no. Taker says Punk got something wrong. They won’t be saying just say no, they will say rest in peace.
Up next, it’s a Belfast Brawl pitting Finlay against Mike Knox
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Last week, Finlay pinned Knox after a shillelagh shot.
This week, the fighting Irishman faces Knox in a Belfast Brawl.
Finlay def. Mike Knox
Knox is kinda doing this smart guy gimmick, which is cool. It kinda reminds me of Raven a little bit, though I don’t believe that Knox is actually a member of MENSA. Anyways, speaking of the original ECW, matches like this make me miss it. Sure, it’s more brutal than the normal WWE match, but it’s got none of ECW’s hardcore heart. Steel chairs and trash cans are the traditional WWE weapons, and they’re put to good use here, mostly by Knox. Knox breaks out another WWE staple, at least since the Dudleys came over from ECW a decade ago, the table. Before anybody actually goes through the table, Finlay gets to his shillelagh and knocks Knox cold for the three count.
Backstage, Michelle runs into Dolph Ziggler, who is looking for Maria. Maria’s nowhere to be found, and Michelle wants to know what he sees in a ditzy little girl like Maria when he could be with a sexy woman like her. She falls and starts groping him while Layla snaps a picture with her cell phone.
David Hart Smith is accompanied by Natalya and Tyson Kidd for singles competition. He’s not the only one accompanied by family – Ranjin Singh is with his big brother, Smith’s opponent, The Great Khali.
This one never gets started, as Kane attacked Khali as soon as he got in the ring. He grabs another WWE signature weapon (that was stolen from ECW), the Singapore Cane, but before he could use it, Khali turned the tide and dropped the Big Red Monster with a Punjabi Plunge.
The Unified Tag Team Champions are heading to the ring, as they’re up NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The World Tag Team Champions are here. They both lost in singles matches against their Breaking Point opponents this past Monday on RAW….
Yo yo yo yo yo, it’s Cryme Tyme!
I hope JeriShow destroy them.
Chris Jericho and The Big Show def. Cryme Tyme
I have to apologize, guys. I’ve paid absolutely no attention to this match because I just found out about Jeff Hardy’s arrest earlier today and was reading about it. JTG tried to skin the cat back into the ring, and he got an unlikely assist back in from The Big Show’s fist, knocking him out cold and leaving him prone for Jericho to pick up the pinfall.
Teddy Long is greeted by Mr. McMahon backstage. Mr. McMahon reminds him he’s on probation, and that SmackDown is only good. It needs to be great. What’s Long going to do about it? Next week, he’s got a huge surprise that will change the face of SmackDown. Mr. McMahon wants to know what he’ll do for him at Breaking Point. Long says he’ll have something good. Mr. McMahon reminds him he doesn’t like good, he wants excellent. McMahon asks where his picture is, and Long says he’s wondering the same thing.
Submission Match coming up later tonight between Matt Hardy and CM Punk.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK (I WANT THE SMACKDOWN DVD!)>
Charlie Haas is already in the ring – which means he’ll be jobbing. Especially since his opponent is the NEW Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison!
John Morrison def. Charlie Haas
John Morrison can make anybody look like a credible opponent, which makes him look even better when he hits the Starship Pain and picks up a victory like he did here.
JoMo says that last week he became the Intercontinental Champion in one of the greatest matches of his career, but it wouldn’t be possible without Rey Mysterio (doing drugs). He can’t describe the feeling, but he hopes these images will do that for him.
Video: Morrison celebrating winning the title and hugging Rey Mysterio
Morrison thanks Rey from the bottom of his heart, and offers him a rematch whenever he gets back from his suspension asks for one.
I am perfection…
Dolph Ziggler is sickened. He earned his title match, and Morrison and Mysterio decided to have a match. Morrison says that’s pretty much what happened. Was he going to lose again to Mysterio? Ziggler says that the third time’s a charm, but he wants his title match. Morrison says let’s do it right now. Ziggler says no. We’ll have it on his terms. Morrison wonders if Ziggler’s scared and calls him Mr. Ziggles. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison wonders if Maria calls him that. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison says he just called him that. Ziggler says Morrison doesn’t count. Morrison says the whole arena is chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler says to stop it or he’ll leave the stage. The fans cheer. Morrison says he thinks Ziggler should go, because it’s what the people want, and they’re not going to stop chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler slinks up the ramp and backstage, much to the delight of the SmackDown fans. Morrison says that the WWE Universe won’t stop chanting Mr. Ziggles as long as he’s Intercontinental Champion.
Josh Matthews is with Matthew Hardy. Tonight he faces the man who was right about his brother’s drug use all along ended his brother’s career. Hardy says that Punk won’t be able to say he’s never submitted anymore. There will be two submissions – to The Undertaker at Breaking Point, and tonight against Matt Hardy. He says that Punk will be lucky to make it to Breaking Point, because when he locks in a submission, he’s not letting go.
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Melina is out first for her match, and her opponent, Layla, is accompanied by the WWE Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool.
Layla def. Melina
Michelle hit Melina with her crutch to allow Layla to pick up the victory.
Josh Matthews is with R-Truth. He asks about Drew McIntyre. Truth says that the party is just getting started and starts babbling. The basic idea, I think, is that he wants a match with Drew McIntyre – who assaults him from behind.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Before the break: Drew McIntyre attacked R-Truth
Todd Grisham and JR run down the Breaking Point card
The World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk makes his way out to the ring as we relive him crashing through a table last week at the hands of The Undertaker. He’s facing Matt Hardy in a submission match – NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
CM Punk def. Matt Hardy
Matt, I’m begging you, please either go back to the pants look until you drop some weight, or get some tights that fit you. You look ridiculous with your underwear sticking out of the back of your tights. If I were your opponent, I’d give you a wedgie. In fact, I just tweeted him that @MATTHARDYBRAND. Here’s hoping he doesn’t post a blog blasting me. Hardy actually holds his own in this match, and utilizes a variety of submission holds, primarily working over Punk’s knee. Doesn’t stop Punk from kicking him in the head then locking him in the Anaconda Vice for the victory!
Punk celebrates his victory, holding his title high, but the bell tolls and the lights go out. When they come back on, Punk is without his title, as it is in the possession of The Undertaker at the top of the ramp.
My Thoughts: I have absolutely zero interest in Breaking Point. Submission matches are traditionally held between two guys who are well versed in submission – Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit comes to mind. I’m also disappointed that a submission themed pay per view doesn’t feature any of the three members of the roster who were trained in the famous Hart Family Dungeon. Hell, the Hart Dynasty can’t even get an actual match anymore. Matt Hardy seriously needs a different look. The black tights aren’t nearly as distracting as the blue ones he wore a couple of weeks ago, but they don’t fit him in any sense of the word. Ah well.
