Main Event results 5/8/13 edition
1 CommentHere’s the results from this week’s edition of Main Event (note I didn’t watch RAW this week but more on that Sunday): (more…)
Here’s the results from this week’s edition of Main Event (note I didn’t watch RAW this week but more on that Sunday): (more…)
We begin with a recap of Mike Bennett vs Eddie Edwards from March.
ROH Intro
Well it’s been a few weeks since my last endeavor so I figured I come on and say some things: (more…)
Well I’m back after a brief hiatus in which my surgery went well but then I ended up experiencing the worst pain ever to getting better to be here with you all today. I was thinking about doing a “week in the life of” article on it but I figured you wouldn’t want to hear about my bodily functions anyway. So since some things have been happening since I’ve ladt been here, lets talk about some of them: (more…)
What’s up folks, it’s good to be back, well at least for a couple weeks anyway (my vacation is July 29-August 7). So lets see what’s been happening in the world recently. 92 degrees in JTland here today so if anything sounds like it doesn’t make any sense, that’s why. (more…)
Well I’m back here for another week of what’s going on in the world of whatever, whenever, whomever, wherever, whyever and however. (Wow I can’t believe I just wrote that!) Lets hope I can remember everything that I wanted to talk about: (more…)
What’s up everyone and a Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers out there including mine out there in the great beyond. This is my first of many Fathers Day’s that I’ll have to experience without him. I just want to let him know that I miss and love him very much and things just aren’t the same without him. Now having said all that, let’s talk about some other stuff that’s been going on: (more…)
Whoop-dee-do! It’s Thursday Night Suffering Time! According to some semi-spoilers I’ve run across (unintentionally), some are saying this is a sure contender for the worst iMPACT of ALL time. Great, and it’s my job to review it. Expects tangents… many, many umm…
(more…)
Yours truly with my live (on tape) Rumble Thoughts:
World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler
Tony Chimel has finally gotten through puberty – his voice didn’t crack when he announced Edge as “The Rated R Superstar”
I absolutely cannot buy Dolph Ziggler as a legit challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship when he still looks like a knockoff dyslexic Billy Gunn (Ziggler has a backwards D and a backwards Z on his tights).
A 16:9 aspect ratio on a computer monitor is wonderful for doing BWF stuff because I can watch the show on one side of the screen while typing on the other, and I’ve still got a pretty decent sized picture.
Can I get the “NICKY” Spirit Squad graphic that G used a couple weeks back for Ziggler? I can? Awesome!
Is that a “Let’s Go Ziggler” chant? What are these people seeing that I’m not?
And Edge kicks out of the FameAsser, or whatever Ziggler calls it.
See Edge, if you would’ve hooked the tights, you would’ve won there. It’s like Jesse Ventura always says, “Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.”
Kelly Kelly?? Please don’t ruin Edge with a Kelly Kelly angle!
Has anybody EVER won a championship with a sleeper? Can somebody look into that for me?
Hmm. No Vicky. No referee. Hmm. I wonder what could happen now?
Yep. SPEAR! Jesse Ventura would be proud.
Killswitch?!?!?!? That reeks of awesomeness! Edge Wins!
And Chimel’s voice cracks, making the first point I made in this match null and void.
—
WWE Championship: The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Wait, what? World Heavyweight Championship match first, WWE Championship match next – it’s gotta be the Royal Rumble! And an Angry Miz Girl shot in the buildup video!
We get a Miz interview! Awesome! Ooh, and a shot at the Patriots!
Hey, they got it right this time – the challenger is coming to the ring first!
I like Miz’s trench coat better than mine. I wonder if he’d trade me.
Michael Cole’s commentary on the Miz reminds me of Bobby Heenan’s commentary on Ric Flair back in the day. Back when things weren’t often “Fair to Flair.”
I’d venture to say that A-Ry is going to be in the Rumble match, since he’s in his wrestling gear.
I wonder if the announcers realize that winning a title match at Royal Rumble doesn’t mean you’re going to WrestleMania – there’s still Elimination Chamber next month.
The voice of the WWE? I miss JR.
Can we get one of those old Batman graphics? Orton hitting his skull on the ringpost? KAARRR-AAAACK!
Nexus?!?!? Holy crap, Mason Ryan does look like Batista!
Nice dive out of the way by Chad Patton.
And Punk with the assist!
King isn’t the only one who doesn’t understand this – I have no idea why Nexus helped Miz win.
Actually, here’s a thought – A-Ry was on NXT with Harris and McGuillicutty. Perhaps he’s joined Nexus to help The Miz?
—
Cody Rhodes has dropped out of the Rumble because his face has been shattered by Rey Mysterio.
The fans in Boston think John Cena, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Big Show, Wade Barrett, CM Punk, Rey Mysterio, Santino, Drew McIntyre, and Kofi Kingston are going to win the Royal Rumble. Apparently.
—
WWE Divas Championship: LayCool vs. Natalya
Ugh. I just wanna get to the Rumble. In the wo…
Ha! Cole got stuck!
And now we’ve got a Fatal Four Way: Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool vs… Eve?!?
We couldn’t get Kong?!?
—
WWE Divas Championship: Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool vs. Eve
Why Eve? Didn’t we start something with Gail Kim on RAW this week? She couldn’t be in here? Again, it’s the WWE using Gail Kim in a way that says, “she’s only on our roster so TNA can’t have her.”
Has the Double Sharpshooter ever been done before? I think I saw Natalya use it before.
Cole and Lawler are acting like they don’t know about Taka Michinoku, when both of them were in WWE while he was. Indeed!
Wait – so did Eve win? I’m confused. Where’s the GM? Michelle had Natalya pinned at the same time!
Guess he doesn’t want LayCool on RAW either.
—
Oh look, there’s Gail Kim now! She’s with Daniel Bryan who is talking about how cool it would be to win the Rumble. The Bellas apologize to the two of them, then insult them. Eve is the Divas Champion, and Gail Kim is fighting with the Bellas backstage. Once again. Say it with me, kids: “She’s only on our roster so TNA can’t have her.”
—
Is it time?!? Huh??? Is it?!? I don’t care about the Elimination Chamber PPV next month – I just want to see the Rumble match! Kudos to Matt Striker for pointing out that “Paul Revere” is also the title of a Beastie Boys song.
Rumble by the numbers – that means it’s almost time!
—
“Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time… for the BIGGEST ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH in history!” Hooray!
CM Punk is number one?!? New Nexus has their work cut out for them helping him win tonight. Hopefully we’ll get Punk cutting promos between eliminations again this year, I loved that last year!
Wade Barrett?!? Or is it Zeke? Oh crap, The Corre just surrounded the ring! Where’s Nexus? There they are! WTF is going on?
The GM says to stop. The only superstar who has the right to be in the ring is CM Punk. Everybody else needs to GTFO or they’re out of the Rumble.
And a CM Punk chant breaks out as Daniel Bryan makes his way out, a former member of Nexus himself.
How awesome is it that we get 90 seconds of Punk and Bryan? The fans in Boston love it too!
Justin Gabriel officially in. Uh oh…. 450 on Punk? Nope, he missed. Bryan dumps him and we’re back to Punk/Bryan!
Oh, radio, tell me everything you know… At least I got to hear a bit of Zack Ryder’s theme! And two eliminations for Bryan – more Punk/Bryan!
William Regal! More great technical expertise in the ring! Punk/Regal/Bryan!
The ring’s filling up, who’s number 7? JoMo!
Holy shit! Morrison is FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!
And Regal got dumped by DiBiase in the meantime.
Yoshi Tatsu? He still works here?
Husky Harris here to help!
Oooh, Jobbo! Bets on which one goes out first, Guerrero or Tatsu. I got Guerrero.
Jobbo hits two suplexes on three straight guys, then the Three Amigos on Bryan.
Mizark Henry out next. And he tosses Chavo. I win!
And then Tatsu goes, also courtesy of Mark Henry.
JTG is bringin’ the hood to the Royal Rumble!
Lucky number 13 is Michael McGuillicutty, here to join his Nexus mates CM Punk and Husky Harris in battle, and he eliminates JTG.
Harris and McGuillicutty eliminate DiBiase as Chris Masters makes his entrance.
Why would Masters want to jump right into the middle of the New Nexus members that are in the ring? Of course, he gets Punk in the Masterlock and almost eliminates him before McGuillicutty saves the day.
David Otunga joins Nexus in the Rumble, and immediately, Punk eliminates Bryan, and Masters, while Nexus quadruple team Morrison out. It’s Nexus and Mark Henry in the ring, and they dump the World’s Strongest Man as well.
Tyler Reks runs into the ring where The New Nexus are waiting. Thanks for coming, Tyler!
Next victim: Vladimir Kozlov. He gets a good shot on Punk, but The Nexus gang up on him and take him down. Harris hits his finisher, and Punk tosses him. Nexus still standing tall.
Next victim: R-Truth. He barely makes it into the ring before Nexus swarm on him. Punk his the knee/bulldog combo in the corner, stopping to mock Truth in the meantime. R-Truth, gone. Nexus stand tall.
Next victim: The Great Khali! He’s back! He takes his time to get to the ring, he manages to hold his own, even eliminating Husky Harris. Khali taking care of Nexus as number 20 gets set to come out…
But it’s Mason Ryan! Nexus is back at four men in the ring, but Khali gets the upperhand. Momentarily. Ryan eliminates Khali, and the Nexus stand tall again.
CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA!!!
The six time World Champion, Booker T has arrived here in the Royal Rumble! He manages to hold his own against the Nexus, even hitting the scissor kick on Otunga before McGuillicutty attacks – and gets dropped with a bookend…
SPINAROONIE!!!!!
Mason Ryan saves CM Punk from elimination and dumps Booker T. Nexus still strong.
BRRRRRRRRRRRAPPLEJUICE! John Cena is here to take on The Nexus! Cena eliminates Mason Ryan, he gets Otunga and McGillicutty, and it’s down to John Cena and CM Punk!
With Punk and Cena down, entry number 23 enters – it’s Hornswoggle!?!
Punk sees Hornswoggle, who tells Punk to bring it. He catches a knee from Punk who goes back to work on Cena. He tries to eliminate Cena, but Cena reverses it into an AA over the top rope! Cena’s eliminated, single handedly, 4 of the 5 New Nexus members! Cena and Hornswoggle stand tall!
Tyson Kidd has no chance here. Hornswoggle and Cena double team Kidd, and Hornswoggle hits an Attitude Adjustment! You can’t see Hornswoggle! You can’t see Kidd either, since Cena tossed him out.
Heath Slater, no stranger to John Cena, is representing the Corre. Hornswoggle hit Sweet Shin Music and a Stunner on Slater, and Swoggle and Cena hit a double 5 knuckle shuffle, and Horny nails the Tadpole Splash. Thanks for coming, Heath Slater! Cena and Swoggle are rolling here!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Friday Night SmackDown’s Intercontinental Champion is fired up and ready to go! Cena and Kingston look at the WrestleMania sign, and it looks like we’re set for a friendly competition here. Kingston’s offense stuns Cena.
Jack Swagger has drawn Number 27, the lucky number in the Royal Rumble match, at least in the past. He hits Cena and Kingston with Vader Bombs, but lets himself get distracted by Swoggle. Kingston hits a Boom Drop on Swagger off the back of Hornswoggle.
Sheamus joins the fray. Hornswoggle tries to form an alliance with Sheamus, to no avail. He tunes up the band, and hits Sweet Shin Music for the second time in this match. Cena saves Swoggle, but gets socked by Swagger. Swoggle gets Brogue Kicked by Sheamus out of this match.
Rey Mysterio jumps in, a former Rumble Winner himself, and he takes everybody out, but gets clotheslined by Sheamus before he could hit the 619 on Swagger.
Swagger gets 619ed out of the match by Mysterio.
Wade Barrett represents the Corre at number 30.
Dolph Ziggler is still beat up from his World Heavyweight Title match earlier as he enters at number 31 – the very first number 31 entrant in Royal Rumble history!
BIG DADDY COOL DIESEL!!! Number 32 is freakin’ Diesel!!
Drew McIntyre joins the growing number of men in the ring. A “Let’s Go Diesel” chant breaks out.
Diesel gets hit with a 619 by Rey Mysterio. And in true Kevin Nash fashion, he no-sells it.
AWESOME!!! But it’s not The Miz in the Royal Rumble, it’s Alex Riley!
Diesel gets eliminated by Wade Barrett.
The Big Show walks slowly toward the ring, stopping to eyeball Diesel as Matt Striker makes references to Boston Bruins defensemen Zdeno Chara being the tallest player in the NHL and shorter than The Big Show.
Show sends Ziggler packing.
Barrett gets some assistance in the form of Ezekiel Jackson, as Drew McIntyre gets dumped by the Big Show.
Speaking of Big Show, that’s who Zeke eliminates.
IT’S-A HE! SANTINO! Beware the Cobra! He catches a Brogue Kick from Sheamus and rolls under the bottom rope to the floor.
Alberto Del Rio enters the Rumble in a 2008 Bentley, and gets a ring announcement from Ricardo Rodriguez.
Matt Striker mentions that Alex Riley has been eliminated, but I’m not so sure about that. Randy Orton’s music hits and he attacks Del Rio, who hadn’t made it to the ring yet. He nails several RKOs before eliminating Kingston and Sheamus.
The two men standing at the moment: John Cena, and Randy Orton. They gaze at the WrestleMania sign, but before they can go at it, Kane, making his 13th straight Rumble appearance, enters at number 40!
Hmm. No Triple H?
Ezekiel Jackson eliminated by Kane.
Kane by Mysterio, followed by Mysterio by Barrett.
Apparently Santino and Riley are gone, despite neither one of them, from my vantage point, being thrown over the top rope to the floor. The final four – Barrett, Orton, Cena, and Del Rio.
Orton and Cena start going at it with Barrett and Del Rio down. Cena goes for an AA, but Barrett stops him.
Cena hits the AA on Del Rio, but A-Ry distracts Cena, as Miz dumps Cena over the top rope! Barrett, Del Rio, and Orton are left!
Orton eliminates Barrett – and Del Rio sneaks up behind and eliminates Orton!
The referee tells Del Rio that he hasn’t won. Santino was never eliminated. He nails the Cobra! Throw him out, Santino!
Santino tries, but Del Rio turns the tide and tosses Santino. Alberto Del Rio is going to WrestleMania!
It’s been a couple weeks since I last made a review, and I’d like to thank the boss man himself, ThinkSoJoE for covering the past two weeks for me! Now, next week is a special three-hour RAW (Jeez, these things are popping up everywhere! Old School, then King of the Ring, and now this!) that is dedicated to the Slammy Awards! But, we’re not there yet!
Tonight on Monday Night RAW, Randy Orton returns to the ring, Michael Cole must answer for his actions last week during the TLC match between Jerry “The King” Lawler and WWE Champion The Miz, and there’s supposed to be a Fatal Four Way match for the WWE Tag Team Championships?! Only way this can get better is if Jerry Lawler knocks Michael Cole out again!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: WWE Champion The Miz gets challenged for a title match against Jerry “The King” Lawler. The two face off in a TLC match, where Michael Cole interferes to assist The Miz in retaining the WWE Championship.>
Jerry Lawler and CM Punk are sitting together without Michael Cole!! The crowd chants for him, and Punk says that he thinks Lawler would have done it if it hadn’t been for Michael Cole.
Cole interrupts and comes out from the stage with a mic. He says that it is with the deepest remorse that he comes out tonight to try to explain his actions last week. He’s been wrestling with it all week long, and he doesn’t know why he did what he did. These people don’t understand how traumatic last week was for him. The hate mail that he received, how could everyone write those hurtful things about him? But, the one thing he won’t’ do is apologize for the way he feels about the Miz, because when The Miz started in this company, Cole was the only one who supported him. And when The Miz won the WWE Championship, it was like his own son had won the championship. So, Jerry, last week, when all this was going on in the ring, and Miz was down, and Jerry was climbing… Cole got caught up in the emotion of the moment. Jerry, because of that, that’s what he deeply regrets.
King picks up a mic and says that he really expected Cole to apologize, because Cole cost him the WWE Championship. Cole says he regrets his actions last week and asks if King has ever made a mistake, and says he made a mistake. King says that it may be a mistake, but he may have to go up there and finish what he started last week. He stands up, but Cole tells him to wait. Punk says he’s not going to stop King. Cole says they should talk about this like adults. The way he just acted, it rang a bell in Cole’s head. Cole believes the way that King just acted, King is as much to blame for last week as Cole is. Cole and King are supposed to report on the news, not make it. Last week, King made the news, King was the headline. King had to be Jerry “The King” Lawler one more time. He had to steal the spotlight, he couldn’t let The Miz have his one moment. King had to steal it from him. So, the more Cole thinks about this, he doesn’t think he owes King an apology. He thinks King owes him an apology. King says he’s going to come and give Cole what he thinks he owes Cole.
<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>
Punk says that he’ll handle it, since Cole’s scared to get out of the ring. Punk steps up to the podium and tells everyone hello. He says he’s always wanted to do it, then mocks Cole, much to everyone’s amusement.
“I am ordering a cease and desist on any physicality between Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. Violation of this order will result in termination. What I would like right now is for Jerry to get in the ring and shake hands with Michael.”
Jerry starts toward the ring, and Punk says this isn’t worth King’s job. King gets in the ring, and shakes Cole’s hand. Cole walks away, but Jerry didn’t let go. King says no physicality. But, he thinks there’s someone in the back who may want to say something to him.
I hear voices in my head…
Randy walks out, Cole tries to leave again, but Lawler holds him there. Lawler finally lets Cole’s hand go, but keeps him in the ring anyway. Randy stands there, and Cole goes to leave, but Lawler makes him stay.
Orton says that he wants Cole to send a message to The Miz: Randy doesn’t blame him for cashing in when he did, because if the roles were reversed, he would have done the exact same thing. As a matter of fact, Randy and The Miz are a lot alike. The only difference is that Randy has proven that he has the ability to back up what he says in the ring. So, Cole, keep rooting for the Miz, Randy doesn’t care, because injured knee or not, he’s going to take back the WWE Championship from The Miz tonight.
AWESOME!
The Miz and Alex Riley walk out, with Lawler still keeping Cole in the ring, and Miz says that Randy used to be so original, so willing to stand on his own, but now he sounds like everyone else who is underestimating Miz. This past summer, they were both in the same Money in the Bank match. The only difference is Miz won and Randy lost. Now, Randy’s left standing there in the middle of that ring with nothing more than tough talk and an injured knee. Well, Miz stands on that stage, the new WWE Champion, and as far as Randy winning back his title tonight, yeeeah, that’s not gonna happen. Because, the RAW Gm already informed him that he successfully defended his title last week, he doesn’t have to defend it again until TLC in two weeks, against Randy. T he good news is that Randy’s knee is going to be all better, but it doesn’t make a difference, because Randy’s going to lose again. Randy says that it’s a great plan, but where are the seven guys who are going to beat him down before he faces him. Randy tells him not to look at Alex, because Riley doesn’t count as one. Riley says that that’s pretty funny coming from a guy on one leg. And even though The Miz doesn’t have to lower himself by facing Randy, Alex has five minutes to kill, and he’d like to challenge Randy Orton to a match. Randy says he doesn’t know what it is Alex just said, but he accepts. Miz says there’s one more thing Miz has to tell Randy, and that’s the stipulation for TLC. So, he’s going to think long and hard, because his decision is going to be just like him: Awesome. Randy says he’s looking forward to Miz’s decision, and for anyone out there who thinks he may be too injured to compete, there is one thing, injured knee or not, that he can still do very well. He then RKOs Michael Cole.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Is CM Punk wearing a Charles Manson shirt? Brilliant. Take any concerns over last week’s wardrobe and crank it up to 11.
@JCenadotcom The announce table without Michael Cole? My God! You can tell Christmas is near. 🙂
@RingsideRants I will mark out so hard if Jim Ross comes out to announce tonight. #Raw
@WWEUniverse COLE SLAW, courtesy of @RandyOrton! #WWE
@Niki_Sushi Ah, Jerry. You’re a sneaky one, arentcha? RKO to the FACE! x3 #BWF #RAW
@Lunna1969 OMG!!! STFU COLE!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@TKeep123 Probably the biggest “YOU SUCK!” chant I’ve heard in many years…and all well deserved for… Michael Cole! #RAW #WWE #BWF
They play the video replay back, and Punk says that Cole tripped on his clown shoes right into an RKO. During the commercial, referees and staff had to help Michael Cole out of the ring. Josh Matthews joins Jerry Lawler and CM Punk ringside for commentary.
Ted DiBiase and Maryse vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Brie or Nikki Bella
Before the match one of the Bellas is already on Daniel’s arm, and the other one isn’t happy about it. But no one cares, because Maryse is in the ring.
DiBiase and Bryan start up, locking up for DiBiase to push him away. The other Bella heads down to the ring, and DiBiase keeps control of Daniel. Punk hopes another Maryse comes down, and so do I. Bryan gets control over DiBiase now, and Matthews calls Punk Miz. In the ring, the Divas are in, and Brie, I guess, gets advantage over Maryse, who goes for a cover, but Maryse kicks out. Maryse fights back, dropping Brie hard. Maryse seems to have hurt herself, and yells at DiBiase, then at Brie. She goes for a clothesline, but misses, only for Brie to go for a cover. DiBiase breaks it up, and Nikki switches while Maryse yells at Bryan, who is distracting the ref. Nikki goes for a small package and gets it for the win. Shit match, gonna be honest.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella win via pinfall.
Brie and Nikki seem to be working together again, and in the ring, Maryse and DiBiase fight, but Maryse puts her hand in his face, and walks away. He glares after her.
Coming up, Gabriel and Slater take on the Usos, Kozlov and Marella, and Henry and Tatsu for the WWE Tag Team Championships, and an exclusive interview with Wade Barrett.
Next week is a special three-hour RAW for the Slammy Awards!
<COMMERCIAL>
@MattWRoberts I didn’t know Daniel Bryan was the guest host of Raw tonight!!! So cool!!
@RingsideRants Where is the anonymous GM for this Bella switch bullshit that happens every week? #LogicIsOverrated
@kickoutblog Good news: Daniel Bryan match without Michael Cole commentating. Bad news: it’s also a Bella match.
@seraphalexiel This is why Ted should’ve stuck with Virgil.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: R-Truth calls out a member of Nexus, but John Cena takes out McGuillicutty, Slater, and Gabriel.>
Now, the Wade Barrett interview, via satellite. Otunga, however, tells us that Barrett’s on his way to the arena for Slater and Gabriel’s title match. Matthews asks what they’re strategy is for taking out Cena, but Otunga says he’s not going to tell him that. They do have a plan, and Cena’s going to pick them off one by one, but the Nexus is going to stay united. Someone knocks, and Otunga says that the interview is over. He jerks the door open, and Otunga gets onto him for taking forever, and then says that he’s not paying for cold food. Someone knocks on the door again, and Otunga answers, only for it to be Cena. Harris, I believe, attacks Cena, but Otunga gets away. Cena proceeds to rip Harris apart, and then chases after Otunga.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh David Otunga, didn’t you learn anything from Edge and Lita?
@Niki_Sushi My poor Justin. :< I’ll play nurse for you. :3 #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Thanks, David, you stay in the hotel room….Room Service for you! Bet You Can’t SEE Housekeeping! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@HitTheRopes Yo, Nexus gets a new shirt like every other week now. #wwe
@kickoutblog Dear WWE Superstars: never invite a camera crew to your home or hotel room… it’s a guaranteed ass kicking.
We get back, and David Hart Smith is in the ring! Josh Matthews says he’s been waiting for this match for quite some time, but… they just fought on Superstars!
David Hart Smith vs Tyson Kidd
Tyson walks down to the ring with some tall ass- OMG! This is the guy that beat Goldust in the pre-RAW match when I was in Orlando! He’s a good wrestler, guys, very strong. Did beat Goldust… Don’t remember his name. EDIT: Apparently, it’s Jackson Andrews
ANYWAY!
Kidd and Smith start out, and Smith keeps a quick advantage until Kidd kicks him in the jaw, but it doesn’t last and Smith throws him back in the ring. Kidd gets a great advantage using his speed and attacks with hard kicks before throwing him into the middle of the ring. He puts his knee in smith’s back and pulls his arms back, but Smith fights to his feet, only for Kidd to kick him. Smith hits a clothesline, then a flying shoulder, then a belly to belly throw across the ring. Kidd gets to his feet, but Smith runs into an elbow. Kidd goes up top, but Smith hits him hard. Smith climbs up too, and hits a superplex, going for the cover. Kidd kicks out at two, and then counters an Irish Whip into the clothesline. Kidd counters to a roll through and pins him.
Tyson Kidd wins via pinfall.
Smith runs out and attacks Kidd, but the big guy slams Smith into the barrier, then throws him into the ring and joins him. The new guy then clotheslines Smith to hell. Kidd climbs in, looking like friggin Hornswoggle next to this guy.
Axe Murderer Gabriel is backstage with Slater and Barrett, and says that they aren’t safe anywhere. Gabriel says that he’s not sure how well he can defend the title, but Barrett says not to be afraid, and in the long run, everything is going to work itself off. Otunga apparently ran all the way to the arena and says that Barrett’s plan didn’t work. Barrett says it was Otunga’s execution of the plan. Slater and Gabriel need to focus on defending the titles. Barrett looks at Otunga and says that he’s going to go to the ring and call out Cena, and tells him to watch, because then he’ll learn something about taking care of business. Otunga says that Barrett better, because if he doesn’t, he may have a mutiny on his hands.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar LMAO. Otunga with his Kenyan 600 like speed.
@Niki_Sushi ‘It’d be hard to kidnap this guy!’ Naw…. you think? #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Damn, that hotel must be close by! Looks like Otunga ran the whole way! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@Lunna1969 Dude looks like he has roid rage! #WWE #RAW #BWF
Fatal Four Way Tag Team Elimination Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso with Tamina vs. Yoshi Tatsu and Mark Henry vs. The WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater
Wonder how Tamina will affect Santino’s chances… But, at least with this, we all know who will win.
Justin and Tatsu start out, locking up with Gabriel getting an advantage. Tatsu puts him in a headlock, no doubt causing a problem for Gabriel’s sore neck, but Tatsu ducks every move Gabriel throws at him. Tatsu hits a spinning heel kick and goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out. Gabriel fights back with a kick to the gut and tags in Slater, who is thrown to the ground. Tatsu then puts him in a submission (arm bar? I missed it), and Mark Henry is tagged in. Heath quickly tags in one of the Usos, who won’t get in, until Henry drags him in by his hair. Henry then punches Jey, apparently, in the head and drops him to the ground. Henry tags Tatsu back in and holds Jey as Tatsu plants his feet in Jey’s chest. Jey runs Tatsu into the corner and tags in Jimmy. Tatsu is being abused in the corner, and Jey is tagged in, and they hit their team finisher thing, and take Henry off the apron with a double baseball slide. Heath tags himself in through whichever Uso is in, and then goes for a cover on Tatsu, who cannot kick out.
Mark Henry and Yoshi Tatsu are eliminated.
The Usos come back in and really give it to Slater, who kicks out of the cover. Slater fights back, however, and the other Uso tags himself in, both of them dropping Slater. Gabriel breaks up the cover with a kick to the head. Uso then drops Slater to the mat, but Slater gets up, fighting back. Vladimir tags himself in using Heath to do so and proceeds to man handle everyone, knocking Slater and Gabriel and the other Uso off the apron, and then pinning him.
Jimmy and Jey Uso are eliminated.
So, it’s now Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater. Tamina stays with Santino, interestingly enough, and Gabriel works on weakening Kozlov’s leg. Gabriel goes for the cover, but Kozlov kicks out at two. Gabriel tags in Slater, who goes to town on Kozlov. The ref pushes him away, and Gabriel works on Kozlov. Kozlov whips Slater away and then head butts him. Santino comes in and suplexes Slater, who doesn’t like it much and lays Santino down. Gabriel is tagged in, and kicks Santino right in the face. Gabriel goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Tamina is still in the corner of Santino and Kozlov. Slater yells at the crowd to shut up, but in the ring, Santino’s fighting his way out of Gabriel’s headlock thing, and then flips Gabriel over him. Gabriel kicks him in the head, but Santino kicks out of the following cover at two. Nexus continues to tag in and out, keeping Santino in his corner, . Once again, Slater distracts the ref and Gabriel takes the time to attack Santino.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes LOL, my brother is enamored by Tamina. Is contemplating how it must be to be with a woman that muscular
@Lunna1969: I like Yoshi but seeing him with Mark Henry is making me miss @findevan (Evan Bourne) a lot! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar What kind of “Dogpile on the rabbit” move was that, Heath Slater?!
@kickoutblog If the ring blew up right now, WWE would no longer have a tag team division.
@Niki_Sushi I would rather hear Santino sing to his theme song than R Truth…. rap? his. #BWF #RAW
We come back to Gabriel trying to keep Kozlov out of his own corner. It doesn’t work, however, and Santino gets in to fight Gabriel. I see @FrankWWEClown’s wing. Santino gets Gabriel on his back with a hip toss, and then a head butt. Santino then punches Gabriel in the stomach and when he goes for a cover, Slater comes in to break it, and Kozlov goes out of the ring to get Slater away. Cena distracts Gabriel, who is hit with the Cobra for the win.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall and are the new WWE Tag Team Champions.
Tamina gives Santino a congratulatory kiss, and the three of them do the trumpet thing in the middle of the ring.
Still to come, Randy Orton is going to decimate Alex Riley, but up next is King Sheamus’ Coronation Ceremony!
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 I told ya!!!!!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! New Tag Champs! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@LadySwagger6 John Cena, you wore that outfit to RAW last week.
@KeepItFiveStar Tamina is definitely Snuka’s daughter. She hates shoes.
@kickoutblog DID SANTINO JUST THROW A STUNNER?!
By the way, everyone, in two weeks is WWE’s Tribute to the Troops featuring Diddy’s Dirty Money, Trace Adkins, Sherri Shepard, and whoever Miss USA was from last week. Because I didn’t care enough to pay attention to her name…
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head… Too many limes, too many limes…
Sheamus comes out with a wicked looking crown. I want it.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus defeats John Morrison to become the 2010 King of the Ring.>
Sheamus says it’s good to be king. He says when he won King of the Ring least week, he didn’t just win the tournament, he restored credibility to the crown. He’s far superior to all of the peasants in the arena, and he’s a better fighter than anyone across the universe, he’s the man who ended Triple H’s career, the King of Kings. He kicked him off this throne, and became the new high king. The last high king of Ireland was a guy named Bryan something, and he fought for Ireland. He was feared and respected all across the land, but in the end, at the battle of some place, he fell and was defeated, and that will never happen to him, because his reign will live forever. He’s better than the best, and will not be remembered as Ronald McDonald or Conon O’Brien, but as the greatest high king in history.
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…
Morrison says that if Sheamus was going to go this route, why not go all the way? Get some goblins, elves, gnomes, a satyr, even (the half-man, half-goat thing). Morrison says it could escort him to the ring and afterward, they could hang out. Sheamus says that he knows why Morrison is out there, Morrison is jealous. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus is a two-time WWE Champion, and that he’s the King of the Ring, and Morrison isn’t and never will be. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus has achieved more in the past two years than in his whole career, and that Sheamus is simply the better man. Morrison says that Sheamus is right: he’s achieved more and has more accolades. He’s a former WWE Champion, the King of the Ring, and last time Morrison checked, Morrison won at Survivor Series, and Sheamus beat him last week, but the score is tied and Morrison is the better man. Sheamus laughs and says that Morrison is a funny man. If Morrison’s sense of humor matched his in ring ability, he’d be wearing the crown, but he isn’t and he isn’t. And, from now on, Sheamus wants Morrison to refer to him either as ‘Your Highness’ or the High King of the WWE. But, what Sheamus wants most, is to send an example to his loyal subjects across the WWE Universe. He wants Morrison to get down on his hands and knees and bow to his king. Morrison says that he’s not going to do that, and that in this business there are no guarantees, but Morrison has one for him: Morrison will never bow down to King Sheamus.
Sheamus attacks Morrison and demands he get down, and Morrison punches him and attacks. Morrison just keeps going after Sheamus, and Morrison uses Sheamus’ own scepter and throne against Sheamus.
Tonight, Wade Barrett is going to call out John Cena and end things once and for all.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog King Sheamus will have the last laugh when he orders John Morrison to be beheaded
@TrueKofi what in the hell is sheamus wearing?!
@HitTheRopes Cut the jokes? Was that what Morrison was attempting to make there?
@Niki_Sushi Oh god. He called himself Ronald McDonald. My life is complete. #BWF #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar Story time with King Lobster Head
@JonHexLives: Is he a king or a wizard? #WWE #RAW #Sheamus
@TKeep123 Sheamus looks like Adam Savage on sterioids! ( #MythBusters ) #WWE #RAW #BWF
Diva’s Champion Natalya vs. Melina
Lay-Cool are ringside, invited by Michael Cole. Lawler sums up my thoughts: Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?
Natalya starts dominating Melina, lifting Melina up and holding her up, and Punk tells everyone to shut up. Natalya goes for a cover, but Melina gets out and attacks Natalya back, slamming Natalya down onto her knees. Melina wraps her legs around Natalya’s middle, but Natalya gets Melina’s shoulder’s down. Natalya hits the spinning clothesline thing on Melina and gets her in a corner, attacking her, only to run into both of Melina’s feet. Natalya drops Melina into a split, and then locks in the Sharpshooter. Melina fights not to tap, but she finally does.
Natalya wins via submission.
LayCool get up and head into the ring, attacking Natalya. Melina, however, keeps walking away.
Still to come, Randy Orton is going to destroy Alex Riley, and Wade Barrett calls out John Cena!
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Nattie just clotheslined Melina’s Vocal Chords out! She will never shriek again.
@TKeep123 hmm..Melina vs. Natalya. I’m torn here…how about just lots of close wrestling, lots of pin attempts, then kiss & make up. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@RingsideRants Screaming before you do every move is a dead giveaway, Melina.
@kickoutblog LayCool vs. Natalya won’t end until LayCool get the belt back. It’s not like there are any other heel Divas for Natalya to work with.
@ThingsColeSays Is CM Punk gonna have to choke a bitch?
Don’t forget! Next Monday, RAW starts at 8/7 Central for the Slammy Awards!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Cole gets RKO’d with a little assistance from Jerry “The King” Lawler.>
Alex Riley and The Miz are backstage, and Alex Riley says that he won’t let Miz down. Miz says that Riley is representing The Miz and everyone’s talking about how he won. Not to mention, they’re treating it as the turning point of this company, and Riley needs to beat Randy Orton. Riley says that the only way Orton will leave Louisville on his hands and knees. The Miz says after that, he won’t tell Randy what match they’ll have at the pay-per-view, he’ll show him.
I hear voices in my head…
Randy Orton vs Alex Riley is up next.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Mm-mm-mm. I love me some sexy man, and the sexiest just came on out. I’z happeh. Now I want him to slaughter an idiot… OH WAIT! #BWF #RAW
@ThingsColeSays Did Miz just quote HBK? “Look in my eye!” bwhahahahahahaahahhahha
@kickoutblog This week’s Miz suit < last week’s Miz suit.
@kickoutblog At least Dennis Miller won’t be anywhere near this year’s Slammy Awards.
@Lunna1969 I so volunteer to be the person that oils Randy up!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@TKeep123 Amazing how entertaining this night has been WITHOUT Michael Cole on commentary! #WWE please take note! #RAW #BWF
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Two weeks ago, The Miz cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Nexus takes out Randy Orton’s knee, and I was there.>
AWESOME!
Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley with WWE Champion The Miz
The Miz is standing in Riley’s corner as this match begins, and Orton gets distracted by him right away, allowing Riley to focus on the knee again. Orton fights back, however, and throws Riley in the corner, getting forcibly moved away from the corner by the ref. Orton’s down, and Riley goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out. Riley stays focused on the injured knee. Randy gets back up and hits a suplex on Riley. Orton gets up again and hits Riley a few times, getting his momentum back. He hits an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline, and then his scoop slam. Riley rolls around the ring in pain for a minute, and manages to roll under the bottom rope, like an idiot. Orton hits that second rope DDT that we all love and then glares at Miz before flipping around and slamming onto the mat, pounding down. He gets up to hit it, but The Miz comes in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale.
Randy Orton wins via disqualification.
The Miz demands a microphone and says that he is going to show Orton what stipulation they are going to have at the pay per view. He goes under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up, scares the ref away (earning a laugh from me), and then lifts Randy up by his ears. Randy fights back, however, and goes to throw Miz into the table, but Miz gets out of it and flees the ring, leaving his rookie in the ring. Orton realizes this and turns his gaze to Riley. He picks Riley up, and then Batista Bombs power bombs Riley right through the table.
Barrett makes his way to the ring, and tells Otunga to make sure the rest of the guys are ready.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar That might be the first time I’ve seen Randy Orton do a powerbomb…EVER!
@TKeep123 MIZ declares, It’s a BEVERAGE MATCH! OOPS, wrong side of the ring…. It’s a Tables Match! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi I love how there’s a refreshment box under the ring. #BWF #RAW
@Fullmetal_Ninja: #WWE #RAW A-Ri is gonna get his A-Hole ripped.
Another reminder of the Slammy’s. Seriously, just scroll up.
Barrett makes his way to the ring, hopefully with Otunga already having prepped Nexus to come out. Barrett says that he’s about to admit to something he’s never admitted to in his life: he got it wrong. He assumed that Cena was a man of his word, but we all know the stipulation from Survivor Series: it was free or fired, not free or turn up at RAW and attack the Nexus at will. It was free or fired and Cena was fired. If Cena had one ounce of integrity in his body, he’d never show his face here again. Barrett says that Cena can attack the rest of Nexus as much as he wants, but Nexus can’t get him hired, only Barrett can. With that being said, Barrett wants to invite Cena out to the ring now, from wherever it is he’s hiding, because there’s something he wants to get off his chest. Barrett tells Cena not to be shy, and Cena appears in the audience, high fiving people and making his way to the ring. Punk tells security they have a jumper, and I laugh.
Nexus comes out when Cena gets to the ring, with an apparently much better Harris. Barrett says that he’s allowed Cena out to the ring, but if Cena puts a foot out of line, or threatens him, Nexus will beat Cena within an inch of his life. Cena says okay. Barrett tells Cena that the WWE Universe can cheer as much as they want, but it doesn’t help. He knows that Cena has problems understanding him, so he’s going to say it slowly, and Cena can read his lips: This is not going to work. Barrett will never rehire him. Cena laughs before talking. He tells Barrett that he’s stupid, then mocks him. Cena says that being fired actually isn’t that bad. Technically, he’s not a WWE Superstar, but he’s part of the WWE Universe, and he still has a lot of friends, and he can tailgate with the WWE Universe, and they’re crazy. And best of all is that he has so much time on his hands that he can think of making the Nexus’ lives hell. Cena says at least Heat and Justin didn’t lose to Santino and the Cobra (oh wait), and then asks how the beatdowns last week were. And he asks how David and ‘Hasky’s’ room service was. Cena says that he’s perfectly content with staying fired, buying a ticket to ever RAW, and making the lives of every Nexus member miserable. So, Mr. Barrett, he doesn’t want to rehire Cena? Cena could care less. Cena asks fi they’re done, because he has to go party. Barrett says that he may be out to intimidate the rest of the Nexus, but he can’t intimidate Barrett. Barrett asks what insurances that the attacks are going to stop. Cena sys that if he was rehired, he’d have so much room for activities, compete in matches, have his own talk show, or he could compete for the WWE Championship. Cena says the reason he never thought of it is because he doesn’t have the WWE Championship. If Barrett keeps him fired, and all he has to do is buy a ticket and ruin his life. Cena says that if Barrett has the guts to hire him back, the attacks on Nexus may stop, but his attacks on Barrett will not. He deserves payback, and payback is what he will get. If Barrett was a man of honor and integrity, he’d rehire Cena on the spot, and they’d end it tonight. And if Barrett doesn’t, Cena’s going to get him, but Barrett will never know when or where, but it will happen. And it’s not just going to be once, he won’t stop. Every single day that Barrett is in the WWE, Cena makes it his promise that his life will be a nightmare. Barrett says that that sounded like a threat and tells Nexus to extinguish this man.
Nexus doesn’t move.
Barrett continues to tell them to come down to the ring, but Harris walks backstage, followed by Slater, Gabriel, and finally, Otunga, who all ignore repeated orders to return to the ring. Cena then tackles Barrett and chases him, hurling him into the steel steps. Cena pulls them away from the ring, and Punk tries to protect his diet soda. Punk says flat out that he’s moving. Cena gives Punk his soda this time, but Punk doesn’t seem to care. Barrett is lifted onto Cena’s shoulders, and climbs the steps, but Barrett takes off running, managing to make it out of the ring and up the ramp. The sound guys didn’t get the memo, and play Cena’s music. Cena offers Punk one of his wristbands, but Punk throws it away.
Barrett moves backstage and sees Nexus, and yells at all of them. Otunga stands there and says that Barrett may not be giving them orders anymore. Next week, Barrett either hires Cena back, or he’s kicked out of Nexus. Barrett says they have to be kidding, but the other members of Nexus gang up on him.
I’m sorry everyone, but the only image the website would let me post was the Blinded by Nexus one. xP I’ll try to get more of them up next week!!
This Cena angle is so much better than the Juan Cena angle and I’m happy I did not have to see that. So, next week, RAW starts at 8/7 Central and is the Slammy Awards!! Maybe I can talk ThinkSoJoE into helping me with our very own awards (that may come a few weeks later). Who knows? Stay tuned!
And I’m ending with a random thought: If Alex Riley can be called A-Ri, can I be called A-Kat?? Ahaha. Ignore that.