Main Event Results- 5/16/13 Edition
Leave a CommentHere’s the results from this weeks Main Event: (more…)
Here’s the results from this weeks Main Event: (more…)
We open on a video of Eric Appreciation night and how the faces dumped him into a port-a-pottie leaving him covered in Shite.
Flair stands in the ring and gives us that rousing title line. I couldn’t help but crack up laughing when that was said then after calling out Hogan added this line after being asked to be a judge on GutCheck, “I love hangin around the kids” Gotta love Flair when he says those lines.
Knockout title match with Gail and Madison vs Brooke and Velvet, and I have to admit that Velvet is putting forth effort. ONLY one clothesline so far. I lied there was one more. Brooke Tessmacher who is still amazing me with her advancements beats Gail with her own move.
RVD comes out to brag about who he is…I fast forward. Then I see The two Robs in a match against Devon again no less. I fast forward.
Well while watching wrestling I must have picked up on a American Idol feed, The Gut Check Challenge judges Flair, Bruce Pritchard, and oh my god Al Snow who is doing more than breaking up fights with D’lo argue over Alex Silva who is vying for a TNA contract. Reality TV in wrestling I haven’t seen that since well the 90’s.
Hogan gasses up Anderson by making his match with Roode a NO DQ. Because you know he’s Hogan and he’s impartial while giving it to the heels this time.
Jeff and RVD have a match and I really don’t care. Fast Forward. Note: Why don’t I care? well lets see both wrestlers could cut a promo if there life depended on it. And secondly they both have a predetermined set of move that they perform in a perticular sequence that just looks stale after awhile. So NO.
RVD wins. there. Jeremy Borash is talking about his hatred for Eric then Bully Ray steps out to you know bully Borash.
Austin Aries comes out to not save Borash but to get in Ray’s face. A good segment where Ray gets in his cheap shot.
Six man tag, Daniels/Kazarian/Angle vs Styles/Magnus/Joe where they tease the reveal of the evidence on AJ. But you’ll have to wait till next week. Good Match with the faces going over.
We have the results of the Gut Check Challenge and like a bad American Idol parody we find out that Alex Silva is getting a TNA contract.
Roode and Anderson match up and I actually care about this bout. Intense and just when Roode is going to put away Anderson, Hardy comes out only to get mic checked by Anderson who in turn gets blasted with the chair leading to a fisherman buster for the win.
Besides some painful spots TNA wasn’t that bad this week. Can’t wait for the AJ reveal.
First off, Adam “MCA” Yauch of the Beastie Boys passed away. I don’t know about you, but I’m a huge fan. This really sucks. So since the WWE puts up their own memorium messages at the start of their shows, I am putting my own one up for the start of my reviews. He will be missed. I’m going on a B-Boy marathon this weekend.
You’ll never guess who shows up on Smackdown tonight! Oops…
Seriously, let’s just hop to it, shall we? My day was lame, started off with a flat tire, had to cancel my day gig, got the tire fixed while I watched The Avengers. At least the movie kicked some serious ass.
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Wow, this card is stacked. Or at least the non-spoiler version, which lists 8 matches tonight. Excellent! Let’s hop to it, shall we?
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Here’s another edition of Impact Wrestling. Where tonight cowardly heels return, Garrett Bischoff shows his skills and Karen continues to screech her way onto my television screens. Lets take a look.
Roode comes out cuts promo on crowd and on James Storm. Taking his opportunity and becoming world champion. James Storm is seen in the back trying to fight back security eventually making to the ring which causes Roode to take off. As Roode takes a heel-like run up the ramp the Stinger shows up. Steve Borden declares that there will be a world title rematch tonight. Roode looks worried.
Segment of Ronnie and Eric Young walking into the building with each carrying a belt.
side-note: Why was there a WWE commercial being played during Impact? Come on Spike get it together. And for their PPV no less.
Another segment with Dixie Carter walking with Bellator founder,
Back to Impact we have a Crimson/Matt Morgan promo. Looks to be decent until the match starts with Crimson versus Pope D’angelo Dinero. The crowd has little love for Crimson and a lot of love for the Pope, who has been booked into the ground these past months. (That’s what I love about a live crowd similar to Philly they are not behind Crimson but Pope is cheered) I sense a Cena-like response for him in his future.
Anyways Pope puts up some good offense hitting a devastating DDT and following it up with a fist drop and a 2nd rope fist drop. After whooping the Red one lil brother he takes to the rope again to meet the Red Sky (Down Low) Crimson for the win. The crowd did not look happy.
Gunner takes about Garrett showing respect and how he’ll learn it.
We’re back and Gunner comes out with Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair, my spider sense is detecting a DQ. Next Garrett comes down to the ring in Wife beater and Jeans no music. What begins slow with Gunner talking to Bischoff/Flair causes the crowd to jeer leading to the former security guard to take a couple of arm drags and eventually a front slam. Gunner who rolls out of the ring confused looks on as Flair runs in as Garrett flees and the match is declared a Disqualification. (I’m psychic)
So we have a backstage comedy segment with a doorman not letting Robbie and Rob Terry into see Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. Eric Young pops his head out asking if he wants a t-shirts. Eventually Ronnie comes out and a comedy spot ensues with Robbie jumping up on Big Rob in piggy back fashion. Elsewhere James Storm is found bloody in the back. He seems unresponsive.
Its time for X-division action as….. Oh my God! Little Elian Gonzalez isn’t dead.
Oh wait that is Xima Ion who I almost forgot was in the division along with Nese. This could be good. Jesse Sorenson comes out for wrestle and I think maybe a tag match against Kash and Aries? No singles match so my mind goes to interference or Ion is showing how tough Sorenson is. The latter happens, better than interference. But the match is good albeit short. After missing is top rope finisher, Sorenson hit a cross roads maneuver for the win. Kash comes out sarcastically congratulating him and tells him to sign a contract for a match against Aries for the X division title. After he signs Kash clarifies that it will be a 3 way match. Kash bashes Sorenson’s mother before getting punched. Aries runs out for the double team.
Oh god not a Knockouts segment/match involving Karen and her Posse. As all the women in the back screech back and forth with the occasional loud pitched screech at Traci for causing the title to be on Velvets waist. I blame Traci too.
A knockout tag team title match with Mickie James/Velvet Sky. When I see Gail and Mickie in the same ring I think back to Botchamania.the ending is classic
Velvet takes on Rayne first and all that goes through my mind is “Bathroom Break Eminent!” Sirens blaring everywhere. After a cluster buck in which the crowd seems to care less. Which is sad because two years ago they would be some kind of response. it mercifully ends when Gail boots to the chin Velvet for the win. (special note even Earl Hebner wasn’t interested when he made the count from outside the ring)
Next its Jersey Shore vs Jersey Shore gimmick revisited.
When Robbie E and Rob Terry come out all that comes to mind is bad images of gay porn. You know who’s the power bottom. EY and Ronnie come out, with Eric doing his best Grizzly Redwood impression. Ronnie pins Robbie and Young ends up in a leopard print undies. And the gay porn images persist.
Back in the commissary, 3 punks eat until the Barrio 4 walk in stealing peoples lunches. Fight breaks out with factions??? leading into of course Turning Point. I like Pritchard’s use of minimalism when it comes to who is on the program when it pertains to PPV’s. Personally I would rather see a Sarita versus Toxxin match instead with the Knockout title on the line, but I dream too much like MLK.dream on
The founder of Bellator comes out on commentary and commences to talk up the product similar to an infomercial while Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles finish their feud before there respective new feuds come Sunday. Good solid match with Daniels going for a screwdriver. Rob comes out and steals it away, leading to AJ finishing Daniels with a Stylez Clash.Oh and “Thanks for the Bellator moment during it”
Six man Tag match with the Founder, a Bully and Steiner Brother taking on a reformed addict, an asshole and mystery????, after commercial break we have an answer. Its the monster Abyss. After a decent match Abyss hit Steiner with a black hole slam for the win.
Roode comes out for the main event. Commercial break. We’re back as James Storm’s music plays. No one shows. Theme song comes again. Slowly Storm comes out still covered in blood. He rushes the ring and puts the hurt to Roode before collapsing. After chants from the crowd to “Get up Cowboy” The Doctor comes out to get him to the back. Roode offers to assist. When he finds out that the match wasn’t ended he rolls up Storm for the three before Fortune hits the ring. Sting walks past Roode into the ring. AJ gets a microphone and challenges Roode at Turning Point. Sting makes it official.
As the title suggests, this is a look-back at wrestling past, and the era in which all of us here grew up with somewhere along the line. In tonight’s episode, we look back at 19th May 1997 edition of WWF RAW IS WAR from Mobile, Alabama, as we start.. Getting Down With The Classics
Well, words escaped the end of last week’s Raw. That was one of the most surreal Raws I ever saw. Now it’s time to see how the WWE follows it up. The announcer’s seats are empty. We get a nice perspective of the back area. And we get to start with Triple H. Surprise. And after HHH’s entrance, there’s only 15 minutes left of Raw, so no worries there. The superstars are outside and waiting for HHH to step down. Then he panders worse than Hogan’s cup to the ear thing. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the Confederate Warrior himself John Cena comes to the ring. We get serious John Cena. He didn’t sound so scripted. And then comes out my Pasty White Hero, Sheamus. He’s still with HHH. Then Punk comes out. He’s still with HHH. He makes a match. Cena vs. Sheamus with Punk on commentary and HHH as ref.
Commercial break. I have been without caffeine for 2 days. Any more Red Robin commercials, I will need to be held down.
After the commercial Vince McMahon comes out. Everyone’s heart sunk. Vince likes watching Raw at home. Board of Directors met about this situation. HHH is no longer running Raw. The new person running Raw is Super Dave Osborne. If I was not doing this review, I would be watching 2 Broke Girls on DVR.
Brian Wilson is on my tv. All of a sudden, Super Dave Osborne isn’t so bad.
Now all the wrestlers are coming back in. John Morrison tells Johnny Ace he sucks. Then he continues his burial tour against Christian. My wife notices Morrison has shaved his face. She acted like I did when Nelson Cruz hit his grand slam. Morrison was squashed. Then Ziggler, Swagger & Rhodes take out Morrison.
Then HHH threatens Super Dave.
Then Randy Orton and Mark Henry had a match. Cody Rhodes interferes. DQ. Mark Henry beats him up a few times. Randy Orton is ridiculously stale.
We had Kelly Kelly & Eve vs. Rosa & Tamina. We’ve still got psycho angry Kelly. Eve pins Tamina. Poor Tamina. Super Dave asks JR to come into the ring. Really? At this point in his career, what are you going to do to JR they haven’t already done? Super Dave is so awful on the mic. He just sounds like he’s reciting a script. He fired JR.
We get Matista & AirBoom vs. Swagger, Ziggler & Otunga. This is the best match of the night so far by default. The highlight was the powerbomb Jack Swagger did on Evan Bourne. I have nothing against Matista/Mason Ryan. He just looks like he couldn’t pass a piss test.
John Cena’s movie looks awful. And I like Ethan Embry.
Punk and Del Rio were fighting until Super Dave stopped it and reinstated Awesome Truth. I stopped caring during this match. I was impressed by what I saw from ADR. The work in this match was really good. I just felt like I was watching House-no show is ever new; I just watch out of habit. Miz/Truth were disqualified and then HHH came to Punk’s rescue.
This is without a doubt the worst Raw I have seen in a long time. This is just as bad as Katie Vick era or the night the nWo started demolishing the Nitro set. The first 15 minutes were brilliant and then it was just like a fart in church from there. They most likely killed drawing in Oklahoma and I would be surprised to see their ratings higher than 2.5. Not saying all hope is lost. But something needs to change.
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Here we are folks, in the build up and hype of WrestleMania (and a Celebration of Professional Wrestling, for that matter), it’s easy to forget that other promotion, Total Nonstop Apathy. But it is still on, believe it or not!
You’ve got to wonder how TNA will attempt to compete tonight, or if they’ll just pump out another typical crash-and-burn episode and save something better for another week. They do have their own PPV coming up soon, and if they’re smart they will build towards it. But they’re not, and likely they won’t. Let’s get the madness, shall we?
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It’s more of a list, really.
Well, we’re at the last NXT on SyFy. Next week it should be on WWE.com. I’ll try to find the time to review it.
So I believe this one is a pre-taped and so probably doesn;t have many matches. We start off with a replay of last weeks challenges.
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