The War On Everything
3 CommentsWelcome to the War for another week.
Tune in after the jump, that’s if, you can make it past the opening video.
Welcome to the War for another week.
Tune in after the jump, that’s if, you can make it past the opening video.
Remember, remember, the 5th of November. The Gunpowder Treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot. (more…)
What’s up everyone. Hope everyone had a happy and safe Halloween. I sure did, maybe a little too much fun. Well let’s get this show on the road so I can go back to nursing my hangover: (more…)
I just saw a mouse run by. Seriously. That’s my intro for tonight’s SmackDown review. “I just saw a mouse run by.” Actually, I wanted to try and catch it and put it outside (I’m a humanitarian, I guess. Or I just have a soft spot for rodents, since I used to have pet rats. Hey, just like Bad News Brown when he was feuding with Jake Roberts!), but I couldn’t find him by time I bothered to get up to look. Anyways, if you guys like Michael Jackson, “This Is It” is not only a great movie, but it’s the reason I’m doing this review after SmackDown airs here in the United States instead of before like I usually do.
Ok, enough stalling. SmackDown episode number 232: “I’ll give you something to brag about.”
I know. (more…)
Your Empress of “iMPACT” will attempt to lead you through tonight’s grand adventure, but should the insane storms interfere with my ability to watch the show, RYTMAN shall step in and take over. Onward! (more…)
I didn’t watch this PPV, and I’m refusing to. At first, I was refusing to watch because of the whole “submission matches without primarily submission wrestlers” thing. Now there’s another reason, but I’ll get to that at the end.
Chris Jericho & The Big Show def. MVP & Mark Henry to retain the Unified WWE Tag Team Championships. As if we didn’t see that coming.
Kofi Kingston def. The Miz to retain the WWE United States Championship. And the point of that was?
Legacy def. DX in a Submissions Count Anywhere match. Really? Wow! There’s some credibility for the two young guys there – which will no doubt be destroyed by Hell In A Cell next month.
Kane def. The Great Khali in a Singapore Cane Submission match. And people actually paid for this?
Christian def. William Regal to retain the ECW Championship. By Pinfall. On a submission themed Pay Per View. Where the main events are all supposed to be submission matches. In the ECW main event. Yup.
John Cena def. Randy Orton in an I Quit Match to win the WWE Championship. Great. Now we have to deal with Cena as the champion again.
The Undertaker def. CM Punk to win the World Heavyweight Championship – but wait, there’s more!
Teddy Long came out and announced the the Hell’s Gate submission was still technically banned, so the match had to be restarted…
CM Punk def. The Undertaker to retain the World Heavyweight Championship. Punk reversed a Last Ride into an Anaconda Vise, and the referee immediately called for the bell. Punk and the referee then bolted up the ramp to where Teddy Long was standing. Yes folks, another rehash of the Montreal Screwjob.
You know what, I’m sick of this crap. Every time the WWE is in Canada, they have to do some kind of screwjob angle. 2003 in Montreal with The Rock and Hulk Hogan. A few years back with Shane McMahon and Shawn Michaels. Look. The Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels thing happened in November of 1997. That’s nearly 12 years ago. The fact is, that wasn’t a storyline – that was real, or as they say in the business, a “shoot.” That pissed off a lot of people because Bret Hart was loved by the fans – especially the Canadian fans – and was legitimately screwed out of the WWF Championship. I get it, wink wink, nudge nudge, we screwed the fan favorite in Canada. It’s getting old. I get where you’re coming from with it, but enough is enough.
I also hate the whole gimmick PPV thing. John Cena, Randy Orton, The Undertaker, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, The Great Khali, and Kane are not names that spring to mind when you mention submission wrestling to me. And next month is Hell in a Cell. Because a John Cena/Randy Orton Hell in a Cell main event makes any sense. Really, to have, at the very least, two Hell in a Cell matches in one Pay Per View sort of diminishes the significance of the match. Same with the TLC Pay Per View coming up in December. These type of matches should be kept to one per year, maximum, and the guys in the matches should be guys who specialize in them. Undertaker or Triple H in Hell in the Cell, for example, or Edge, Christian, or Matt Hardy in TLC.
Given the lack of anything decent or new on the card, and the oh so cliche Montreal Screwjob ending, I’m glad I didn’t waste either my time or my money on this PPV.
Welcome to the War for another week ..
Before I begin this week, it seems that other columns on this site are getting rave reviews. Drow wrote a piece on the Casual vs Core wrestling fan, and JT’s Randomness always gets the people talking. Yet, nobody talks about this little piece unless I mention Brett Favre. Now I have, you watch them start talking about the new Viking. Speaking of Vikings, when’s Erik getting a start, or won’t Susan Sarandon let him?
Speaking of Brett, I am now turned off of SportsCenter’s NFL coverage because of everyone’s man-crush for #4. Hey ESPN, he isn’t that good. Green Bay won’t retire his number because he retires, and then magically comes back every year. He doesn’t do training camp, he doesn’t do any training, and yet everyone comes out and says ‘Oh, he’ll save the Minnesota Vikings, they’re now a superbowl team’.
First off, I am a better QB than Tavaris Jackson. Secondly, how does poor Sage Rosenfels feel now? He was traded from Houston, after being back-up to Matt Schaub, to Minnesota, in hopes of a starting spot, and yet, it looks like there’d be more of a chance he’d get a starting spot at the Texans, rather than where he is now, due to the Vikings’ obsession with someone whose five years away from adult diapers. Hagar the Horrible has resorted to alcohol, because he is angry, due toVikings signing Favre.
Not even Asterix can help us against Brett Favre. Or Lorne Greene.
You wanna know what Hulk Hogan’s doing these days? He’s supporting a fellow has been as this picture shows.
Although we all know why Brett went to Minnesota, don’t we?
Finally, I’ll tell you how good Favre is. Two years ago, I won a Fantasy NFL league at Yahoo! I drafted Favre after week 8, when I was 2-6. I won the next nine games, but I had to replace Favre, with Kurt Warner, due to Brett being rubbish. Warner led me through the playoffs, and the championship, whilst Mr. 38 year old at the time, sat on the bench.
This is the end of Part One, I must calm down. Favre-rage is flowing in my veins.
Hey folks how’s it going? It’s Sunday, so that can mean only one thing: your favorite article by me! Let’s get this show on the road: (more…)
Welcome to the War for another week.
First off, let’s discuss the happenings of Monday Night RAW this week from Calgary. Alberta, Canada. Hall of Famer, Sgt. Slaughter was the guest host and did nothing but annoy and piss off the Canadian fans all night. I didnt mind this, as the Sarge lapped up playing bad guy host.
Good to finally see the Woggle get what he deserved, at the hands of Legacy. The sad thing is, Legacy then went on and challenged the reformed D-Generation X at SummerSlam. Nice to see you booking yourself to lose guys!
The crowd gave rather unique remarks to Chris Masters during his match. Chants of ‘Roid Rage’, among other comments were chanted by the Canadians. Does the Masterpiece really deserve this?
It’s nice to see that after he leaves TNA, his finishing move is used by the Calgary Kid on RAW.
I still don’t watch ECW.
What did Teddy Long do exactly to end up on probation?
One wonders if John Morrison will be World Champion by the end of the year, seeing as many sources will say that Jeff Hardy will take time off later this year?
Moving onto the other side of the tracks now, and TNA thought it would be best to have a massive brawl to take up 15 minutes of their time. What they didnt show however, was BG James Frog Splashing a car.
Have you heard Ric Flair rap?
Have you heard Hulk Hogan rap?
Curt Hennig thinks Rap Is Crap.
Yet, the Macho Man rapped a rap just for him.
Twilight star nude! Wait, what’s a Twilight?
I just thought I’d let you know, that as this particular sentence is written, is it exactly 1:25am on Thursday 13th August. As I write this sentence as the BWF servers crashed when I tried to post the column, it is now 9:43am on Thursday 13th August.
Random Code Monkeys clip of the week.
Greatest news article of the week, even though it is an outdated news article.
Finally tonight, as I’m sorry this column is so short. If the ECW results arent posted in the next say … 16 hours? I will bring them to you. Also, be sure to check out our forums. Sign up and have fun.
That’s the lot. Stay tuned to BWF throughout the week. I am the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, reminding you to read the latest Vintage Collection review.