What’s up wrestling fans? It’s that time of the week for another power poll update. There was much movement amongst the ten rankings this time around, as four grapplers fell out of contention. You might be surprised to see one particular entry, perhaps…
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In the week following the Royal Rumble, all eyes in wrestling certainly would be on the winner of that said event. While amongst the dirt sheets, there is much argument about the value of a Rumble win in lieu of the Elimination Chamber PPV hurting it’s credibility. But that, is an argument for another day. There was also a RAW rumble match of significance this week, with the winner going on to face the Miz for the title. These two events will have significantly influenced this weeks poll.
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Hey, BoredWrestlingFans! Last week I said I’d next see you all on Christmas (or thereabouts), but that was before ‘WWE Week on USA’ was announced, including a live SmackDown! being broadcast on Tuesday night. The greatest thing about this live SmackDown! will be the lack of that canned cheering sound which the guys in the production truck love piping in to the taped shows to try and enhance crowd reactions. D’you know the sound I mean? It’s hard to describe… Anyway, I’m babbling.
So, without further ado, let’s get down to business! (more…)
It’s been a couple weeks since I last made a review, and I’d like to thank the boss man himself, ThinkSoJoE for covering the past two weeks for me! Now, next week is a special three-hour RAW (Jeez, these things are popping up everywhere! Old School, then King of the Ring, and now this!) that is dedicated to the Slammy Awards! But, we’re not there yet!
Tonight on Monday Night RAW, Randy Orton returns to the ring, Michael Cole must answer for his actions last week during the TLC match between Jerry “The King” Lawler and WWE Champion The Miz, and there’s supposed to be a Fatal Four Way match for the WWE Tag Team Championships?! Only way this can get better is if Jerry Lawler knocks Michael Cole out again!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: WWE Champion The Miz gets challenged for a title match against Jerry “The King” Lawler. The two face off in a TLC match, where Michael Cole interferes to assist The Miz in retaining the WWE Championship.>
Jerry Lawler and CM Punk are sitting together without Michael Cole!! The crowd chants for him, and Punk says that he thinks Lawler would have done it if it hadn’t been for Michael Cole.
Cole interrupts and comes out from the stage with a mic. He says that it is with the deepest remorse that he comes out tonight to try to explain his actions last week. He’s been wrestling with it all week long, and he doesn’t know why he did what he did. These people don’t understand how traumatic last week was for him. The hate mail that he received, how could everyone write those hurtful things about him? But, the one thing he won’t’ do is apologize for the way he feels about the Miz, because when The Miz started in this company, Cole was the only one who supported him. And when The Miz won the WWE Championship, it was like his own son had won the championship. So, Jerry, last week, when all this was going on in the ring, and Miz was down, and Jerry was climbing… Cole got caught up in the emotion of the moment. Jerry, because of that, that’s what he deeply regrets.
King picks up a mic and says that he really expected Cole to apologize, because Cole cost him the WWE Championship. Cole says he regrets his actions last week and asks if King has ever made a mistake, and says he made a mistake. King says that it may be a mistake, but he may have to go up there and finish what he started last week. He stands up, but Cole tells him to wait. Punk says he’s not going to stop King. Cole says they should talk about this like adults. The way he just acted, it rang a bell in Cole’s head. Cole believes the way that King just acted, King is as much to blame for last week as Cole is. Cole and King are supposed to report on the news, not make it. Last week, King made the news, King was the headline. King had to be Jerry “The King” Lawler one more time. He had to steal the spotlight, he couldn’t let The Miz have his one moment. King had to steal it from him. So, the more Cole thinks about this, he doesn’t think he owes King an apology. He thinks King owes him an apology. King says he’s going to come and give Cole what he thinks he owes Cole.
<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>
Punk says that he’ll handle it, since Cole’s scared to get out of the ring. Punk steps up to the podium and tells everyone hello. He says he’s always wanted to do it, then mocks Cole, much to everyone’s amusement.
“I am ordering a cease and desist on any physicality between Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. Violation of this order will result in termination. What I would like right now is for Jerry to get in the ring and shake hands with Michael.”
Jerry starts toward the ring, and Punk says this isn’t worth King’s job. King gets in the ring, and shakes Cole’s hand. Cole walks away, but Jerry didn’t let go. King says no physicality. But, he thinks there’s someone in the back who may want to say something to him.
I hear voices in my head…
Randy walks out, Cole tries to leave again, but Lawler holds him there. Lawler finally lets Cole’s hand go, but keeps him in the ring anyway. Randy stands there, and Cole goes to leave, but Lawler makes him stay.
Orton says that he wants Cole to send a message to The Miz: Randy doesn’t blame him for cashing in when he did, because if the roles were reversed, he would have done the exact same thing. As a matter of fact, Randy and The Miz are a lot alike. The only difference is that Randy has proven that he has the ability to back up what he says in the ring. So, Cole, keep rooting for the Miz, Randy doesn’t care, because injured knee or not, he’s going to take back the WWE Championship from The Miz tonight.
AWESOME!
The Miz and Alex Riley walk out, with Lawler still keeping Cole in the ring, and Miz says that Randy used to be so original, so willing to stand on his own, but now he sounds like everyone else who is underestimating Miz. This past summer, they were both in the same Money in the Bank match. The only difference is Miz won and Randy lost. Now, Randy’s left standing there in the middle of that ring with nothing more than tough talk and an injured knee. Well, Miz stands on that stage, the new WWE Champion, and as far as Randy winning back his title tonight, yeeeah, that’s not gonna happen. Because, the RAW Gm already informed him that he successfully defended his title last week, he doesn’t have to defend it again until TLC in two weeks, against Randy. T he good news is that Randy’s knee is going to be all better, but it doesn’t make a difference, because Randy’s going to lose again. Randy says that it’s a great plan, but where are the seven guys who are going to beat him down before he faces him. Randy tells him not to look at Alex, because Riley doesn’t count as one. Riley says that that’s pretty funny coming from a guy on one leg. And even though The Miz doesn’t have to lower himself by facing Randy, Alex has five minutes to kill, and he’d like to challenge Randy Orton to a match. Randy says he doesn’t know what it is Alex just said, but he accepts. Miz says there’s one more thing Miz has to tell Randy, and that’s the stipulation for TLC. So, he’s going to think long and hard, because his decision is going to be just like him: Awesome. Randy says he’s looking forward to Miz’s decision, and for anyone out there who thinks he may be too injured to compete, there is one thing, injured knee or not, that he can still do very well. He then RKOs Michael Cole.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Is CM Punk wearing a Charles Manson shirt? Brilliant. Take any concerns over last week’s wardrobe and crank it up to 11.
@JCenadotcom The announce table without Michael Cole? My God! You can tell Christmas is near. 🙂
@RingsideRants I will mark out so hard if Jim Ross comes out to announce tonight. #Raw
@WWEUniverse COLE SLAW, courtesy of @RandyOrton! #WWE
@Niki_Sushi Ah, Jerry. You’re a sneaky one, arentcha? RKO to the FACE! x3 #BWF #RAW
@Lunna1969 OMG!!! STFU COLE!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@TKeep123 Probably the biggest “YOU SUCK!” chant I’ve heard in many years…and all well deserved for… Michael Cole! #RAW #WWE #BWF
They play the video replay back, and Punk says that Cole tripped on his clown shoes right into an RKO. During the commercial, referees and staff had to help Michael Cole out of the ring. Josh Matthews joins Jerry Lawler and CM Punk ringside for commentary.
Ted DiBiase and Maryse vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Brie or Nikki Bella
Before the match one of the Bellas is already on Daniel’s arm, and the other one isn’t happy about it. But no one cares, because Maryse is in the ring.
DiBiase and Bryan start up, locking up for DiBiase to push him away. The other Bella heads down to the ring, and DiBiase keeps control of Daniel. Punk hopes another Maryse comes down, and so do I. Bryan gets control over DiBiase now, and Matthews calls Punk Miz. In the ring, the Divas are in, and Brie, I guess, gets advantage over Maryse, who goes for a cover, but Maryse kicks out. Maryse fights back, dropping Brie hard. Maryse seems to have hurt herself, and yells at DiBiase, then at Brie. She goes for a clothesline, but misses, only for Brie to go for a cover. DiBiase breaks it up, and Nikki switches while Maryse yells at Bryan, who is distracting the ref. Nikki goes for a small package and gets it for the win. Shit match, gonna be honest.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella win via pinfall.
Brie and Nikki seem to be working together again, and in the ring, Maryse and DiBiase fight, but Maryse puts her hand in his face, and walks away. He glares after her.
Coming up, Gabriel and Slater take on the Usos, Kozlov and Marella, and Henry and Tatsu for the WWE Tag Team Championships, and an exclusive interview with Wade Barrett.
Next week is a special three-hour RAW for the Slammy Awards!
<COMMERCIAL>
@MattWRoberts I didn’t know Daniel Bryan was the guest host of Raw tonight!!! So cool!!
@RingsideRants Where is the anonymous GM for this Bella switch bullshit that happens every week? #LogicIsOverrated
@kickoutblog Good news: Daniel Bryan match without Michael Cole commentating. Bad news: it’s also a Bella match.
@seraphalexiel This is why Ted should’ve stuck with Virgil.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: R-Truth calls out a member of Nexus, but John Cena takes out McGuillicutty, Slater, and Gabriel.>
Now, the Wade Barrett interview, via satellite. Otunga, however, tells us that Barrett’s on his way to the arena for Slater and Gabriel’s title match. Matthews asks what they’re strategy is for taking out Cena, but Otunga says he’s not going to tell him that. They do have a plan, and Cena’s going to pick them off one by one, but the Nexus is going to stay united. Someone knocks, and Otunga says that the interview is over. He jerks the door open, and Otunga gets onto him for taking forever, and then says that he’s not paying for cold food. Someone knocks on the door again, and Otunga answers, only for it to be Cena. Harris, I believe, attacks Cena, but Otunga gets away. Cena proceeds to rip Harris apart, and then chases after Otunga.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Oh David Otunga, didn’t you learn anything from Edge and Lita?
@Niki_Sushi My poor Justin. :< I’ll play nurse for you. :3 #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Thanks, David, you stay in the hotel room….Room Service for you! Bet You Can’t SEE Housekeeping! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@HitTheRopes Yo, Nexus gets a new shirt like every other week now. #wwe
@kickoutblog Dear WWE Superstars: never invite a camera crew to your home or hotel room… it’s a guaranteed ass kicking.
We get back, and David Hart Smith is in the ring! Josh Matthews says he’s been waiting for this match for quite some time, but… they just fought on Superstars!
David Hart Smith vs Tyson Kidd
Tyson walks down to the ring with some tall ass- OMG! This is the guy that beat Goldust in the pre-RAW match when I was in Orlando! He’s a good wrestler, guys, very strong. Did beat Goldust… Don’t remember his name. EDIT: Apparently, it’s Jackson Andrews
ANYWAY!
Kidd and Smith start out, and Smith keeps a quick advantage until Kidd kicks him in the jaw, but it doesn’t last and Smith throws him back in the ring. Kidd gets a great advantage using his speed and attacks with hard kicks before throwing him into the middle of the ring. He puts his knee in smith’s back and pulls his arms back, but Smith fights to his feet, only for Kidd to kick him. Smith hits a clothesline, then a flying shoulder, then a belly to belly throw across the ring. Kidd gets to his feet, but Smith runs into an elbow. Kidd goes up top, but Smith hits him hard. Smith climbs up too, and hits a superplex, going for the cover. Kidd kicks out at two, and then counters an Irish Whip into the clothesline. Kidd counters to a roll through and pins him.
Tyson Kidd wins via pinfall.
Smith runs out and attacks Kidd, but the big guy slams Smith into the barrier, then throws him into the ring and joins him. The new guy then clotheslines Smith to hell. Kidd climbs in, looking like friggin Hornswoggle next to this guy.
Axe Murderer Gabriel is backstage with Slater and Barrett, and says that they aren’t safe anywhere. Gabriel says that he’s not sure how well he can defend the title, but Barrett says not to be afraid, and in the long run, everything is going to work itself off. Otunga apparently ran all the way to the arena and says that Barrett’s plan didn’t work. Barrett says it was Otunga’s execution of the plan. Slater and Gabriel need to focus on defending the titles. Barrett looks at Otunga and says that he’s going to go to the ring and call out Cena, and tells him to watch, because then he’ll learn something about taking care of business. Otunga says that Barrett better, because if he doesn’t, he may have a mutiny on his hands.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar LMAO. Otunga with his Kenyan 600 like speed.
@Niki_Sushi ‘It’d be hard to kidnap this guy!’ Naw…. you think? #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Damn, that hotel must be close by! Looks like Otunga ran the whole way! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@Lunna1969 Dude looks like he has roid rage! #WWE #RAW #BWF
Fatal Four Way Tag Team Elimination Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso with Tamina vs. Yoshi Tatsu and Mark Henry vs. The WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater
Wonder how Tamina will affect Santino’s chances… But, at least with this, we all know who will win.
Justin and Tatsu start out, locking up with Gabriel getting an advantage. Tatsu puts him in a headlock, no doubt causing a problem for Gabriel’s sore neck, but Tatsu ducks every move Gabriel throws at him. Tatsu hits a spinning heel kick and goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out. Gabriel fights back with a kick to the gut and tags in Slater, who is thrown to the ground. Tatsu then puts him in a submission (arm bar? I missed it), and Mark Henry is tagged in. Heath quickly tags in one of the Usos, who won’t get in, until Henry drags him in by his hair. Henry then punches Jey, apparently, in the head and drops him to the ground. Henry tags Tatsu back in and holds Jey as Tatsu plants his feet in Jey’s chest. Jey runs Tatsu into the corner and tags in Jimmy. Tatsu is being abused in the corner, and Jey is tagged in, and they hit their team finisher thing, and take Henry off the apron with a double baseball slide. Heath tags himself in through whichever Uso is in, and then goes for a cover on Tatsu, who cannot kick out.
Mark Henry and Yoshi Tatsu are eliminated.
The Usos come back in and really give it to Slater, who kicks out of the cover. Slater fights back, however, and the other Uso tags himself in, both of them dropping Slater. Gabriel breaks up the cover with a kick to the head. Uso then drops Slater to the mat, but Slater gets up, fighting back. Vladimir tags himself in using Heath to do so and proceeds to man handle everyone, knocking Slater and Gabriel and the other Uso off the apron, and then pinning him.
Jimmy and Jey Uso are eliminated.
So, it’s now Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater. Tamina stays with Santino, interestingly enough, and Gabriel works on weakening Kozlov’s leg. Gabriel goes for the cover, but Kozlov kicks out at two. Gabriel tags in Slater, who goes to town on Kozlov. The ref pushes him away, and Gabriel works on Kozlov. Kozlov whips Slater away and then head butts him. Santino comes in and suplexes Slater, who doesn’t like it much and lays Santino down. Gabriel is tagged in, and kicks Santino right in the face. Gabriel goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Tamina is still in the corner of Santino and Kozlov. Slater yells at the crowd to shut up, but in the ring, Santino’s fighting his way out of Gabriel’s headlock thing, and then flips Gabriel over him. Gabriel kicks him in the head, but Santino kicks out of the following cover at two. Nexus continues to tag in and out, keeping Santino in his corner, . Once again, Slater distracts the ref and Gabriel takes the time to attack Santino.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes LOL, my brother is enamored by Tamina. Is contemplating how it must be to be with a woman that muscular
@Lunna1969: I like Yoshi but seeing him with Mark Henry is making me miss @findevan (Evan Bourne) a lot! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar What kind of “Dogpile on the rabbit” move was that, Heath Slater?!
@kickoutblog If the ring blew up right now, WWE would no longer have a tag team division.
@Niki_Sushi I would rather hear Santino sing to his theme song than R Truth…. rap? his. #BWF #RAW
We come back to Gabriel trying to keep Kozlov out of his own corner. It doesn’t work, however, and Santino gets in to fight Gabriel. I see @FrankWWEClown’s wing. Santino gets Gabriel on his back with a hip toss, and then a head butt. Santino then punches Gabriel in the stomach and when he goes for a cover, Slater comes in to break it, and Kozlov goes out of the ring to get Slater away. Cena distracts Gabriel, who is hit with the Cobra for the win.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall and are the new WWE Tag Team Champions.
Tamina gives Santino a congratulatory kiss, and the three of them do the trumpet thing in the middle of the ring.
Still to come, Randy Orton is going to decimate Alex Riley, but up next is King Sheamus’ Coronation Ceremony!
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 I told ya!!!!!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! New Tag Champs! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@LadySwagger6 John Cena, you wore that outfit to RAW last week.
@KeepItFiveStar Tamina is definitely Snuka’s daughter. She hates shoes.
@kickoutblog DID SANTINO JUST THROW A STUNNER?!
By the way, everyone, in two weeks is WWE’s Tribute to the Troops featuring Diddy’s Dirty Money, Trace Adkins, Sherri Shepard, and whoever Miss USA was from last week. Because I didn’t care enough to pay attention to her name…
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head… Too many limes, too many limes…
Sheamus comes out with a wicked looking crown. I want it.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus defeats John Morrison to become the 2010 King of the Ring.>
Sheamus says it’s good to be king. He says when he won King of the Ring least week, he didn’t just win the tournament, he restored credibility to the crown. He’s far superior to all of the peasants in the arena, and he’s a better fighter than anyone across the universe, he’s the man who ended Triple H’s career, the King of Kings. He kicked him off this throne, and became the new high king. The last high king of Ireland was a guy named Bryan something, and he fought for Ireland. He was feared and respected all across the land, but in the end, at the battle of some place, he fell and was defeated, and that will never happen to him, because his reign will live forever. He’s better than the best, and will not be remembered as Ronald McDonald or Conon O’Brien, but as the greatest high king in history.
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…
Morrison says that if Sheamus was going to go this route, why not go all the way? Get some goblins, elves, gnomes, a satyr, even (the half-man, half-goat thing). Morrison says it could escort him to the ring and afterward, they could hang out. Sheamus says that he knows why Morrison is out there, Morrison is jealous. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus is a two-time WWE Champion, and that he’s the King of the Ring, and Morrison isn’t and never will be. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus has achieved more in the past two years than in his whole career, and that Sheamus is simply the better man. Morrison says that Sheamus is right: he’s achieved more and has more accolades. He’s a former WWE Champion, the King of the Ring, and last time Morrison checked, Morrison won at Survivor Series, and Sheamus beat him last week, but the score is tied and Morrison is the better man. Sheamus laughs and says that Morrison is a funny man. If Morrison’s sense of humor matched his in ring ability, he’d be wearing the crown, but he isn’t and he isn’t. And, from now on, Sheamus wants Morrison to refer to him either as ‘Your Highness’ or the High King of the WWE. But, what Sheamus wants most, is to send an example to his loyal subjects across the WWE Universe. He wants Morrison to get down on his hands and knees and bow to his king. Morrison says that he’s not going to do that, and that in this business there are no guarantees, but Morrison has one for him: Morrison will never bow down to King Sheamus.
Sheamus attacks Morrison and demands he get down, and Morrison punches him and attacks. Morrison just keeps going after Sheamus, and Morrison uses Sheamus’ own scepter and throne against Sheamus.
Tonight, Wade Barrett is going to call out John Cena and end things once and for all.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog King Sheamus will have the last laugh when he orders John Morrison to be beheaded
@TrueKofi what in the hell is sheamus wearing?!
@HitTheRopes Cut the jokes? Was that what Morrison was attempting to make there?
@Niki_Sushi Oh god. He called himself Ronald McDonald. My life is complete. #BWF #RAW
@KeepItFiveStar Story time with King Lobster Head
@JonHexLives: Is he a king or a wizard? #WWE #RAW #Sheamus
@TKeep123 Sheamus looks like Adam Savage on sterioids! ( #MythBusters ) #WWE #RAW #BWF
Diva’s Champion Natalya vs. Melina
Lay-Cool are ringside, invited by Michael Cole. Lawler sums up my thoughts: Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?
Natalya starts dominating Melina, lifting Melina up and holding her up, and Punk tells everyone to shut up. Natalya goes for a cover, but Melina gets out and attacks Natalya back, slamming Natalya down onto her knees. Melina wraps her legs around Natalya’s middle, but Natalya gets Melina’s shoulder’s down. Natalya hits the spinning clothesline thing on Melina and gets her in a corner, attacking her, only to run into both of Melina’s feet. Natalya drops Melina into a split, and then locks in the Sharpshooter. Melina fights not to tap, but she finally does.
Natalya wins via submission.
LayCool get up and head into the ring, attacking Natalya. Melina, however, keeps walking away.
Still to come, Randy Orton is going to destroy Alex Riley, and Wade Barrett calls out John Cena!
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Nattie just clotheslined Melina’s Vocal Chords out! She will never shriek again.
@TKeep123 hmm..Melina vs. Natalya. I’m torn here…how about just lots of close wrestling, lots of pin attempts, then kiss & make up. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@RingsideRants Screaming before you do every move is a dead giveaway, Melina.
@kickoutblog LayCool vs. Natalya won’t end until LayCool get the belt back. It’s not like there are any other heel Divas for Natalya to work with.
@ThingsColeSays Is CM Punk gonna have to choke a bitch?
Don’t forget! Next Monday, RAW starts at 8/7 Central for the Slammy Awards!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Cole gets RKO’d with a little assistance from Jerry “The King” Lawler.>
Alex Riley and The Miz are backstage, and Alex Riley says that he won’t let Miz down. Miz says that Riley is representing The Miz and everyone’s talking about how he won. Not to mention, they’re treating it as the turning point of this company, and Riley needs to beat Randy Orton. Riley says that the only way Orton will leave Louisville on his hands and knees. The Miz says after that, he won’t tell Randy what match they’ll have at the pay-per-view, he’ll show him.
I hear voices in my head…
Randy Orton vs Alex Riley is up next.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Mm-mm-mm. I love me some sexy man, and the sexiest just came on out. I’z happeh. Now I want him to slaughter an idiot… OH WAIT! #BWF #RAW
@ThingsColeSays Did Miz just quote HBK? “Look in my eye!” bwhahahahahahaahahhahha
@kickoutblog This week’s Miz suit < last week’s Miz suit.
@kickoutblog At least Dennis Miller won’t be anywhere near this year’s Slammy Awards.
@Lunna1969 I so volunteer to be the person that oils Randy up!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@TKeep123 Amazing how entertaining this night has been WITHOUT Michael Cole on commentary! #WWE please take note! #RAW #BWF
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Two weeks ago, The Miz cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Nexus takes out Randy Orton’s knee, and I was there.>
AWESOME!
Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley with WWE Champion The Miz
The Miz is standing in Riley’s corner as this match begins, and Orton gets distracted by him right away, allowing Riley to focus on the knee again. Orton fights back, however, and throws Riley in the corner, getting forcibly moved away from the corner by the ref. Orton’s down, and Riley goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out. Riley stays focused on the injured knee. Randy gets back up and hits a suplex on Riley. Orton gets up again and hits Riley a few times, getting his momentum back. He hits an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline, and then his scoop slam. Riley rolls around the ring in pain for a minute, and manages to roll under the bottom rope, like an idiot. Orton hits that second rope DDT that we all love and then glares at Miz before flipping around and slamming onto the mat, pounding down. He gets up to hit it, but The Miz comes in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale.
Randy Orton wins via disqualification.
The Miz demands a microphone and says that he is going to show Orton what stipulation they are going to have at the pay per view. He goes under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up, scares the ref away (earning a laugh from me), and then lifts Randy up by his ears. Randy fights back, however, and goes to throw Miz into the table, but Miz gets out of it and flees the ring, leaving his rookie in the ring. Orton realizes this and turns his gaze to Riley. He picks Riley up, and then Batista Bombs power bombs Riley right through the table.
Barrett makes his way to the ring, and tells Otunga to make sure the rest of the guys are ready.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar That might be the first time I’ve seen Randy Orton do a powerbomb…EVER!
@TKeep123 MIZ declares, It’s a BEVERAGE MATCH! OOPS, wrong side of the ring…. It’s a Tables Match! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi I love how there’s a refreshment box under the ring. #BWF #RAW
@Fullmetal_Ninja: #WWE #RAW A-Ri is gonna get his A-Hole ripped.
Another reminder of the Slammy’s. Seriously, just scroll up.
Barrett makes his way to the ring, hopefully with Otunga already having prepped Nexus to come out. Barrett says that he’s about to admit to something he’s never admitted to in his life: he got it wrong. He assumed that Cena was a man of his word, but we all know the stipulation from Survivor Series: it was free or fired, not free or turn up at RAW and attack the Nexus at will. It was free or fired and Cena was fired. If Cena had one ounce of integrity in his body, he’d never show his face here again. Barrett says that Cena can attack the rest of Nexus as much as he wants, but Nexus can’t get him hired, only Barrett can. With that being said, Barrett wants to invite Cena out to the ring now, from wherever it is he’s hiding, because there’s something he wants to get off his chest. Barrett tells Cena not to be shy, and Cena appears in the audience, high fiving people and making his way to the ring. Punk tells security they have a jumper, and I laugh.
Nexus comes out when Cena gets to the ring, with an apparently much better Harris. Barrett says that he’s allowed Cena out to the ring, but if Cena puts a foot out of line, or threatens him, Nexus will beat Cena within an inch of his life. Cena says okay. Barrett tells Cena that the WWE Universe can cheer as much as they want, but it doesn’t help. He knows that Cena has problems understanding him, so he’s going to say it slowly, and Cena can read his lips: This is not going to work. Barrett will never rehire him. Cena laughs before talking. He tells Barrett that he’s stupid, then mocks him. Cena says that being fired actually isn’t that bad. Technically, he’s not a WWE Superstar, but he’s part of the WWE Universe, and he still has a lot of friends, and he can tailgate with the WWE Universe, and they’re crazy. And best of all is that he has so much time on his hands that he can think of making the Nexus’ lives hell. Cena says at least Heat and Justin didn’t lose to Santino and the Cobra (oh wait), and then asks how the beatdowns last week were. And he asks how David and ‘Hasky’s’ room service was. Cena says that he’s perfectly content with staying fired, buying a ticket to ever RAW, and making the lives of every Nexus member miserable. So, Mr. Barrett, he doesn’t want to rehire Cena? Cena could care less. Cena asks fi they’re done, because he has to go party. Barrett says that he may be out to intimidate the rest of the Nexus, but he can’t intimidate Barrett. Barrett asks what insurances that the attacks are going to stop. Cena sys that if he was rehired, he’d have so much room for activities, compete in matches, have his own talk show, or he could compete for the WWE Championship. Cena says the reason he never thought of it is because he doesn’t have the WWE Championship. If Barrett keeps him fired, and all he has to do is buy a ticket and ruin his life. Cena says that if Barrett has the guts to hire him back, the attacks on Nexus may stop, but his attacks on Barrett will not. He deserves payback, and payback is what he will get. If Barrett was a man of honor and integrity, he’d rehire Cena on the spot, and they’d end it tonight. And if Barrett doesn’t, Cena’s going to get him, but Barrett will never know when or where, but it will happen. And it’s not just going to be once, he won’t stop. Every single day that Barrett is in the WWE, Cena makes it his promise that his life will be a nightmare. Barrett says that that sounded like a threat and tells Nexus to extinguish this man.
Nexus doesn’t move.
Barrett continues to tell them to come down to the ring, but Harris walks backstage, followed by Slater, Gabriel, and finally, Otunga, who all ignore repeated orders to return to the ring. Cena then tackles Barrett and chases him, hurling him into the steel steps. Cena pulls them away from the ring, and Punk tries to protect his diet soda. Punk says flat out that he’s moving. Cena gives Punk his soda this time, but Punk doesn’t seem to care. Barrett is lifted onto Cena’s shoulders, and climbs the steps, but Barrett takes off running, managing to make it out of the ring and up the ramp. The sound guys didn’t get the memo, and play Cena’s music. Cena offers Punk one of his wristbands, but Punk throws it away.
Barrett moves backstage and sees Nexus, and yells at all of them. Otunga stands there and says that Barrett may not be giving them orders anymore. Next week, Barrett either hires Cena back, or he’s kicked out of Nexus. Barrett says they have to be kidding, but the other members of Nexus gang up on him.
I’m sorry everyone, but the only image the website would let me post was the Blinded by Nexus one. xP I’ll try to get more of them up next week!!
This Cena angle is so much better than the Juan Cena angle and I’m happy I did not have to see that. So, next week, RAW starts at 8/7 Central and is the Slammy Awards!! Maybe I can talk ThinkSoJoE into helping me with our very own awards (that may come a few weeks later). Who knows? Stay tuned!
And I’m ending with a random thought: If Alex Riley can be called A-Ri, can I be called A-Kat?? Ahaha. Ignore that.
Hello everyone, and welcome to another exciting RAW review!! Tickets for Wrestlemania 27, as well as the birthdays of both ThinkSoJoE and randomredhead are in only five days!! Let’s just say that’s a really good birthday idea… And there’s my random plug. So, what is it that’s going to happen this week? More John Cena and Nexus drama, of course, but what else? Will Daniel Bryan make someone else tap out? Will Cole finally shut up? Who knows?!
Tonight, the Divas are having a Six-Diva Tag Team match they’re calling the Diva Cup, and Wade Barrett is comin’ home!! What kind of a homecoming celebration will he get??
John Cena is in the middle of the ring, representing Nexus, and has a giant scroll. Old style scroll. Pretty neat lookin, actually. H reads that it is his distinct honor to introduce us to the man who has promised and delivered the winds of change. The leader of the most devastating, dominant, and revolutionary force to step foot in the WWE known as the Nexus. At Survivor Series, he will be your WWE Champion. Please welcome, making his long-awaited, triumphant return home to Manchester, England, Wade Barrett.
We walk alone, through the unknown…
Huh. Josh Matthews is taking over for Jerry Lawler tonight, but Cole’s still there. Damn it.
Nexus is in the ring, and Barrett thanks Cena for his outstanding introduction, that he wrote. Barrett says that the prodigal son has returned, and they cheer. Go England. Barrett says that there’s no better way to celebrate his upcoming championship reign than to have a preview of the celebration tonight. Tonight, there’s going to be a big party, and all of Manchester is invited. Before the Nexus hoists Barrett victoriously above their shoulders, there is business that he needs to take care of. Barrett says there were a couple issues that occurred last week that he needs to look into.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Otunga brings Nexus to Smackdown and gets a Spear and a loss for Nexus.>
Barrett tells Otunga to step forward. He says next time Otunga undermines his authority, to take Nexus to Smackdown without his permission, make sure he’s successful. He orders Otunga back in line, and says he’ll deal with him later. Right now, he wants to deal with Cena.
Last week, Cena had the opportunity on RAW to showcase what he would do at Survivor Series during Barrett’s match with Orton. Instead, he missed the tag and ended up declaring Orton and Truth the winners.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Orton and Truth defeat Barrett and Otunga.>
Barrett tells Cena to explain himself. Cena says that it all started as a joke, and mentions all the stuff that happened when he was wrapping. Barrett says that he was talking about that match and asks what happened. Cena says they lost. Barrett warns Cena not to test him and says that Cena’s lucky he’s in his home town, and no one will ruin his celebration. The simple fact is, Cena is either free of Nexus or fired. Cena either raises Barrett’s hand and awards him the WWE title, or Barrett flushes his entire WWE career down the toilet. Cena says he’s glad Barrett’s home, glad his countrymen embrace him, and he hopes that Barrett remembers what he said last week: After that match is over, he’s going to give Barrett and anyone who interferes, the beating of a lifetime. Barrett says Cena’s cute, and he holds Cena’s destiny in his hand, but at Survivor Series, Cena’s going to do what Barrett tells him to, but now they need to practice what will happen after the match at Survivor Series. He wants Cena to tell the world that Wade Barrett is the new WWE Champion. Cena says he hasn’t won anything yet, and Barrett says it’s a practice. Cena says whatever.
I hear voices in my head…
Randy Orton comes out and stays on the stage, looking at Nexus. He says last time he checked, he was still WWE Champion. It’s true Wade has Cena under his thumb, but Barrett is fighting Orton, not Cena, and he doesn’t doubt that he can beat Barrett regardless of the referee. Orton doesn’t care if Cena is free or fired, but he is going to make sure Orton will never have the WWE Champion. Barrett says that last time he checked, he had an army standing behind him at his beck and call, and he doesn’t recall Orton having anyone behind him.
And I quote: “Wade Barrett’s championship celebration preview has been officially cancelled. Also, to insure that there is a decisive victor, the WWE title match must be won by pinfall or submission only. Furthermore, I am officially announcing that the remaining members of Nexus will be banned from ringside. But Wade, that’s at Survivor Series. As for tonight, since Wade Barrett has an army behind him, Randy Orton is going to have one as well. Team Barrett, comprised of Nexus, will take on Team Orton, in a ten man tag team match. I, the General Manager, will personally choose the members of Orton’s team later, but I do know this: the special guest referee for this match will be John Cena.”
Cena knocks over the Nexus podium, and then shoves Otunga as he walks up. Cena then walks out of the ring.
The Diva’s Cup tag match is next!
<COMMERCIAL>
@CawCawBang and i quote shut your dirty pie hole!
@KickStunner Orton comin out like “I’M IN THIS STORY LINE TOO YOU KNOW!”
@TKeep123 Wade Barrett ain’t happy! <G> Cena’s doing stand-up comedy and Otunga is changing has drawers. #RAW #WWE #BWF
@thinksojoe Cena is gold in this promo #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar LOL that was funny. I gotta admit it, Cena
@kickoutblog Nexus has their own calligraphy? Classy!
Diva’s Cup: Eve Torres, Nikki, and Brie Bella vs. Maryse, Tamina, and Alicia Fox
Eve and Tamina start out, and Tamina shoves Tamina back in the corner. She then kicks her hard in the stomach, but eve gets out of the corner and gets Tamina in there, hitting some hard kicks on Tamina before Irish Whipping her, only to get it countered, and then dropped by Tamina with a Samoan drop, going for a cover for Eve to kick out. Tamina tags in Maryse, who goes for a cover only for Eve to kick out. Maryse shoves Eve around the ring a little before taunting the Bellas and holding Eve in a headlock before shoving her down and doing it again. Eve gets up to her feet, and fights out, hitting a kick to Maryse’s head. Eve and Maryse tag in Alicia and Brie, according to the other Twin, and Alicia starts to hit something, but Brie counters for the pin, does something, then goes for another pin. Tamina breaks it up, Eve chases her down, Maryse gets in, Nikki gets chased out of the ring by the ref, and then Maryse hits the French Kiss on Brie. Nikki runs in and switches places, and then pins Alicia.
Eve Torres and the Bella Twins win via pinfall.
Nexus is backstage, and Otunga says that Cena tried to punk them. Barrett walks up and interrupts his pep talk, and Otunga says that he was just telling everyone that they need to step it up. Barrett says that Otunga won’t be a part of Team Barrett, but put in a singles match against Cena. Barrett says that he wants Otunga to give it everything, and he’ll tell Cena the exact same thing. Nexus then walks away, leaving Otunga alone.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Got talent? The only thing the Bellas have is a professional job as escorts.
@KeepItFiveStar I hate “Twin Magic”
@CawCawBang maryse whip her hair back and forth
@TKeep123 Diva Match…the white shorts look like diapers! #RAW #WWE
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Natalya beats Michelle McCool to become Number One Contender for the Diva’s Championship at Survivor Series.>
The Hart Dynasty, Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith with Natalya vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso
Smith and one of the Usos is in right now, Jimmy, and Smith gets a big advantage , knocking Jey out, then Jimmy right after. Smith tags Kidd in, and Kidd jumps over the ring, hitting a hurricanrana on one of the Usos. Kidd then throws the other one into the ring, missing an elbow drop. The Uso in the ring shoves Kidd into the corner, and the other one is tagged in. I can’t tell the different, could you tell? Usos get the advantage, then tag in. Smith looks like he’s about to walk out, and then the Usos go for another tag on Kidd, who kicks out. Apparently Jey has a tattoo on his chest and Jimmy doesn’t. Whichever one is in the ring keeps, Kidd over, but misses a drop on Jimmy, who is in the ring. Jimmy tags in Jey, while Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who decided to stay. Smith hits a belly-to-belly, and goes for a cover, only for Jey to kick out. Smith hits the running bulldog, but Jimmy breaks up the pin. Kidd slides between the ropes to attack Jimmy, who dishes back some pain, and then Smith has to get Jimmy off the apron. Jey hits the splash on Smith and pins him for the win.
Jimmy and Jey Uso win via pinfall.
Am I the only one who started singing Mark Henry’s theme when the Uso theme hit?
Coming up, Tea Time With Santino, featuring Sheamus. This is amazing. Also coming up, David Otunga will take on John Cena.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar If only every wrestler called their name out before they did stuff like the Usos “MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!” *Splash*
@kickoutblog The Usos? The guys who almost killed The Hart Dynasty’s career are back to finish the job once and for all?
@thinksojoe The Usos totally ripped off the Godsmack logo #BWF
@Niki_Sushi Goddamn. Uso’s should get a bigger crowd reaction. They have fucking SKILL, bitches.
@TKeep123 TEA with SANTINO !!!!! “Business is about to pick up!” A little Earl Gray for Sheamus? #RAW #WWE
Next week, WWE goes Old School on RAW, and it starts at 8 PM!! I’ll do my best to be here, so so should you!
Matt Striker is backstage and asks Orton who he thinks the GM will pick as his partners. Orton says he has no idea and he has to care who his partners are. His teams had better be the best of the best.
The Miz interrupts and says that he just heard from the GM, so he can tell Orton that one member of his team is him. Orton doesn’t need to worry about getting the best, because right now his team is awesome.
Slater and Gabriel are looking at their belts, Harris and McGuillicutty are talking, and Otunga comes back. No one says anything, and Otunga says that he meant Cena, not them. Otunga says that he’ll show them how a leader handles stuff, and that they should all be out there, since they’re a team. Gabriel asks if Barrett knows, and Otunga says that they shouldn’t need to ask, and they’re either Nexus or against us, and he’ll see them out there. They don’t agree.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Otunga soundin ‘mighty white’ in that last scene……like Beaver Cleaver. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@thinksojoe If they don’t break out either the old RAW letters set or the neon set next week, I will be severely disappointed. #BWF
@kickoutblog I find Nexus’ race relations to be a bit shady. I’m onto you, and I’m not fooled by the one hillbilly you kicked out of the group either!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Ted DiBiase and Maryse crash the wedding of Goldust and Aksana, only for Ted DiBiase to save it. Confused yet? Oh, yeah, and Aksana slaps the taste out of Goldust after they’re declared married.>
Goldust comes out, looking pretty pissed off. Poor guy. I like Goldust.
Goldust vs. Ted DiBiase with Maryse
Goldust painted tears on his face tonight.
Ted and Goldust start out busy, DiBiase getting an advantage, only to get thrown by Goldust. Goldust clotheslines him out of the ring, and DiBiase climbs back in, bouncing off the ropes, and right into an inverted atomic drop. DiBiase goes to town beating on Goldust’s head, throwing Goldust around the ring. DiBiase goes for a cover, but Goldust kicks out. Another cover, but Goldust kicks out again. DiBiase keeps putting pressure on Goldust’s head, but Goldust fights back, and DiBiase goes for a cover, but Goldust kicks out. DiBiase tells Maryse to go get the Million Dollar Championship, and she does. Goldust fights back, hitting an uppercut, then the running bulldog and into a cover. DiBiase kicks out at two, and Goldust throws Ted, who counters, and then DiBiase gets hit by a scoop slam. Aksana comes down to the ring, and tries to take the belt, slapping Maryse and then running away with the belt. Goldust steals a pin and starts to follow Aksana, then does follow her up the ramp.
Goldust wins via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar As much as I like Maryse’s heels, shes rockin some sexy boots. #allblackeverything
@Niki_Sushi Maryse looks fucking amazing, as always. #BWF #RAW
@CawCawBang nah the reason she isn’t coming near the commentary desk is because you’re a female replete cole
@kickoutblog Seriously, Michael Cole is beyond unbearable.
BRRRRRRRR SHUFFLE POO!!
John Cena vs David Otunga
Well then. Otunga makes his way out to the ring, and Nexus actually makes their way down the ramp. I am a little shocked to see them out. I thought they’d just ditch them, but surprise!
Oh. Look at that. Now they’re leaving. I so knew it.
Otunga takes off up the ramp, and Cena chases him down, knocking him down and then throwing him into the car on the stage. Cena then literally runs Otunga back down to the ring, right inside. Cena hits Otunga with a clothesline, and hits what I think was a gut wrench power bomb. Swagger’s throwing a tantrum on Smackdown right now. Anyway, Cena keeps an advantage over Otunga, hitting his new favorite move, the standing dropkick on Otunga, before slamming his face in the turnbuckle. Cena then whips Otunga across the ring, but Otunga moves before he can get hit. Otunga takes advantage, hitting Cena repeatedly. Otunga goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. The crowd is screwing with me, but, whatever. Otunga is beating the shit out of Cena, and then hits an elbow drop before going for a cover. Cena kicks out. Otunga steps on Cena, then misses another elbow, and Cena fights back, hitting the shoulder blocks, then setting up the Five Knuckle Shuffle.. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, but doesn’t go for the cover yet. He grabs him and puts him in the STF.
John Cena wins via submission.
<COMMERCIAL>
@ThingsColeSays Holy crap, I think Mark Henry could beat David Otunga in a foot race after seeing that.
Otunga’s in the back, icing his neck, when Barrett walks up. Barrett says last week, he got pinned in their tag team match, and then he decided to take Nexus to Smackdown, and got pinned again. And tonight, in Barrett’s home town, Otunga embarrassed him. Barrett’s giving Otunga a chance to redeem himself: Take Nexus back to Smackdown and have a match with Edge. If Otunga doesn’t beat Edge, he’s done.
Holy shit. Santino and Vladimir Kozlov, dressed like English gentlemen, walk out. Santino says that he and Kozlov like to blend in. They were excited to come to the UK, and they watched the Bond movies, Austin Powers, Mr. Bean, and a bunch of others. They think they know everything about the culture now. He says that every time he crosses the roads he almost gets killed, and he asks everyone to drive on the other side just for him.
Santino says that he wants to make peace with Sheamus. He was angry, so they’re going to have an old-style classic tea party, and everything will be okay.
Sheamus walks down to the ring, looking rather unimpressed. Santino says hi and then shakes Sheamus’ hand, who doesn’t know proper hand-shaking etiquette, because he holds on too long. They all sit down, and Santino says they got off on the wrong foot, and they want to be on the right foot. Santino says that they have something, and ginger tea, which he apologizes for, and an autographed picture of Mr. T. Sheamus says that he thinks he got Santino all wrong: he’s not bad, just misunderstood. Sheamus knew a guy back home in Ireland who only had one friend, and just like Santino, his friend was a donkey. Everyone in the town called him the village idiot. Santino mistakes it to be the donkey called the village idiot. Santino says it’s time for tea, and asks Sheamus if he takes his tea dark or milky. And apologizes for that, saying that he’s not trying to be smart, and he’s not referring to the fact that Sheamus has no pigmentation. And asks them not to make him angry, because Santino doesn’t like it when he’s angry. Santino says that Sheamus has rage inside him, and it’s either because he’s been over exposed to gamma rays, or when he was growing up, he was excluded from activities with other kids because he’s a ginger.
Santino says that they’re generous, but they aren’t helping. Santino says he won’t exclude Sheamus from activities, and he won’t treat Sheamus like a ghost – Ooh… Sheamus says Santino’s a funny person, and Santino had him laughing so hard he forgot why he hated him in the first place. Santino says that he can’t remember why Sheamus hates him either. Kozlov helpfully points out that Sheamus hates him because he beat him. Kozlov keeps pointing it out, and Sheamus isn’t happy anymore. Kozlov thinks it’s funny anyway.
Santino says that he doesn’t like the way Sheamus is looking at him, and pours Sheamus more tea, with a shaky hand, then all over his lap. Santino says that he’s sorry, and Sheamus flips the table.
“The time for tea and crumpets has come to an end. It’s now time for action. Clear the ring, and clear Vladimir Kozlov from ringside as well, because Santino Marella is going one on one with Sheamus.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Kozlov… you’re going to get Santino killed. And he won’t have a clue why. #BWF #RAW
@FrankWWEClown A Kozlov chant. Only in the United Kingdom, indeed. I love it. #WWE #RAW
@thinksojoe Gingers have no souls! #BWF
@Niki_Sushi THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING! He’s the red-headed stepchild! #BWF #RAW
@WWEsAngel_Nef Shea-Moose looks like he’s trying so hard not to laugh xD #WWE
@RingsideRants Kozlov has already shown more personality than ever before… and he hasn’t even talked yet.
@TKeep123 Loving Koslov right now! “Biggest upset in Duble, duble E History…..EVER!” #WWE #RAW #BWF
Santino Marella vs Sheamus
Sheamus is still in the suit thing, and is trying to take the shirt off. Sheamus is looking at Santino like he’s a tard, and Santino ducks under the rope, shrieking like a woman. Higher than me, and I’m a soprano. Santino rolls out of the ring and then starts to get back in, but Sheamus distracts the ref. Santino runs into the crowd, and Sheamus starts to follow him. Sheamus says he wants Santino in the ring.
“Santino Marella, you have two choices. Get back in the ring and compete, or be immediately suspended.”
Santino asks, right now? And Sheamus motions for Santino to get into the ring. Santino riles himself up and climbs into the ring. He starts to go for the Cobra, but Sheamus knocks him on his back and stomps him. You can hear Santino go ‘ow’ every time he’s hit too. Santino continuously crawls for the ropes, but Sheamus tugs him to the middle of the ring. Sheamus looks unimpressed at Santino’s begging, and Santino hits a low blow on Sheamus and gets disqualified. Santino considers it a victory.
Sheamus wins via disqualification.
Sheamus gets up and hits the Brogue Kick on Santino. Sheamus then proceeds to destroy Santino. Sheamus gets Santino up, but Morrison runs into the ring and fights against Sheamus, hitting the flash kick on Sheamus and knocking him out of the ring. Morrison drags Santino to the other side of the ring.
Cena’s standing backstage, looking at the promo for Wrestlemania XXVII. Barrett joined him during the little commercial. Barrett comments on Wrestlemania, and tells Cena to imagine never being able to experience that again. In two weeks, all Cena has to do is raise Barrett’s hand and name him the WWE Champion, and he can experience Wrestlemania all he wants. Then, the Nexus will be nothing but a distant memory. Tonight, Cena needs to do it right, or his career will be nothing but a distant memory.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Oooh… Santino, you fight dirty. You just opened the doors for Sheamus to rip your balls off. #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Fear The (Below the Belt) Cobra!!!! Santino! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar John Morrison should interfere in a hat and tux also. But somehow John Morrison is gonna Parkour his way into this match shirtless.
@kickoutblog Ever notice whenever someone says “do the right thing” in wrestling, it’s always the wrong thing?
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Second and Third Generation Superstars Stand Up For WWE.>
I hear voices…
WWE Champion Randy Orton, The Miz, R-Truth, Daniel Bryan, and Mark Henry vs Wade Barrett, WWE Tag Team Champions Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel, Husky Harris, and Michael McGuillicutty
I warn you all now. I can’t keep up with matches with more than six people, apparently, so this isn’t going to be the best review of the match. Besides, the good stuff doesn’t happen until the match is over anyway.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi I totally squee’gasmed over baby Cody and Ted. Hell, over all of it. That’s fuckin tradition. #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 OK, I admit it, those private home photos of the legends rocked my boat. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Why are Mark Henry and Orton boys. Remember when Henry destroyed him and turned face?
@HitTheRopes Can we blow R-Truth up again, please? #wwe
I can tell you that Bryan and Gabriel start. So far, I’m doing good! And I missed whatever it was Bryan did, but Gabriel ducks under Bryan and tags in McGuillicutty. Bryan gets an advantage, and Miz tags himself in, hitting McGuillicutty from behind. Miz gets him in the corner, and Cena pulls Miz off of him. Hear the Miz is Awesome chants? I love it. Miz went for a cover, but McGuillicutty kicked out. Miz tags in Orton. Orton proceeds to beat McGuillicutty more, telling Barrett to come in. Instead, he tells Slater to get in. Orton toys with Slater, tagging in Truth. Truth beats Slater in the corner and then Irish Whips him, countering a counter-Whip, and then does his fancy shit to avoid getting hit. Truth goes for a cover, but Gabriel breaks it up, and then everyone runs in the ring. Team Orton clears the ring of Nexus, and Otunga makes his way out, walking down the ramp.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog I think I figured out what pisses me off about Cole. Ever since his “turn,” it feels like he’s stopped taking his job seriously.
@KeepItFiveStar Did Orton just flex on Heath Slater to make him fall?
@TKeep123 R Truth in the UK: “I say, what is Up?” #WWE #RAW #BWF
@WWEsAngel_Nef I never thought I’d live to see the day when George Bush and Santino Marella would be dueling trending topics worldwide on twitter #WWE #BWF
Order has been restored, and it’s Truth and Gabriel in the ring. Otunga’s standing ringside, in front of the announce table. Truth is just smacking the shit out of Gabriel, who flips over him and takes him down, going for a cover, and Truth kicks out. Gabriel tags in Harris, and I die a little inside. Truth fights Harris, Irish Whipping him, only for Harris to counter, and Henry is tagged in. Harris delvers some blows to Henry, who knocks him on his ass. Henry then lifts Harris and slams him down. Mark Henry then goes to hit something, but misses. Harris then flings himself into Harris, and tags in McGuillicutty who is taken down by Henry. Henry tags in Bryan. Bryan delivers a series of hard kicks, getting whipped into the corner, but running up the ropes. Bryan’s really giving it to McGuillicutty, but can’t put him away. McGuillicutty comes back, and Harris tags in, after Bryan tries to hit the LaBell Lock. Harris knocks him out and beats him up for a bit. Harris has Bryan by the Nexus corner and Barrett tags in.
Bryan kicks out of a cover (just letting your eyes rest a bit). Barrett dominates Bryan, going for another cover, only for Bryan to kick out. Bryan fights to his feet, and Barrett plants Bryan, ending his quick defense. Bryan kicks out at two from the cover, and Barrett tags in Gabriel, who tags in Harris, who tags in Slater. Slater misses a run and this the corner instead. Both men are down, and Slater knocks Miz off the rope, only for Bryan to clothesline him. Both men struggle to make a tag, and Bryan tags in Orton and Slater tags in Barrett. Orton plants Barrett with s coop slam, and then hits the DDT off the ropes. Orton gets down and pounds on the mat, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Nexus doesn’t come in. Barrett lifts Orton, who fights out, and then delivers a back breaker to Barrett. McGuillicutty comes in, breaks it up, and Truth plants him to the ground. Gabriel comes in and hits a super kick, Henry, hits the World’s Strongest Slam on him, then Slater and Harris come in and throw him off the ring, and then Bryan dropkicks both of them out of the ring. Orton and Barrett get to their feet. Barrett tries the Wasteland, Orton hits a back breaker. Otunga manages to get Cena’s attention, and Riley attacks Orton with the briefcase, only for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Orton. Barrett pins for the win.
Team Barrett wins via pinfall.
Well, the Miz betrayal wasn’t expected, but it does provide an interesting question. Will he try to cash in after Survivor Series? What’ll happen to him next week? I’ll see you then.
Drowgoddess couldn’t be here today, but we at BWF will be stoked to hear her comments when possible. I just finished watching the Canadian broadcast of NXT when I noticed JoE threw the “G” symbol in the sky. So here is another installment of G’s retarded suffrage that is iMPACT…. you’ve been warned… or as one of my favorite all time wrasslin’ bloggers Zah would say Booyah!!! (more…)
Alright, this is my first time posting this myself, so forgive me if it comes out looking a little weird or anything!!
So, I had to start about a half hour late, due to class and trying to eat. However, my friend, @Niki_Sushi covered me on what happened, though I didn’t miss that much.
Apparently, Smackdown General Manager, Theodore Long and RAW General Manager, Bret Hart, have asked the Miami audience to vote on what match should happen later on. I don’t know what the choices were, but the result is Edge vs Randy Orton in match, where Edge will have one hand tied behind his back.
Next, the fans vote between a bodyslam match, a submission match, or an Over the Top Rope match for Big Show and Chris Jericho. They chose a BodySlam match.
Big Show vs Chris Jericho in BodySlam Match
Show hit him in a submission, and then threw him over the top rope anyway.
Big Show wins.
Who will face the Hart Dynasty? The Usos, The DudeBusters, or Hornswoggle and The Great Khali? Vote now!
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 For tonight’s #RAW I’m actually going to try and believe that internet voting really counts! :} #WWE #BWF
We come back to RAW to see the Hart Dynasty in the ring. Matt Striker tells us that The Great Khali and Hornswoggle will be facing the Hart Dynasty.
Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty vs The Great Khali and Hornswoggle
Not sure what happened, but it was a quick match.
Hart Dynasty wins.
The Usos attack, but Hart Dynasty finally managed to gain the upper hand and kick the Usos out of the ring. As Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are talking, Jerry starts looking around, and then says that they have a problem, and then walks off.
SMACKDOWN REPLAY: Kane found Taker in a vegitative state over Memorial Day weekened. I have no idea what happened here, because I wasn’t here. Either way, just sounds like what was on Smackdown. Up next, the cast of The A-Team arrives!!
<COMMERCIAL>
@Bruce412 Is King going to go get JR to save this damn show? #WWE #BWF
Justin Roberts introduces the cast of The A-Team, but only Bradley Cooper comes out. He says that he’s not sure where the others are, but The A-Team opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, and he says that he’s excited to host RAW tonight. The screen moves, and we see Jerry Lawler walking around backstage. People stop him, but he claims he’s looking for someone. The other two cast members from The A-Team show up and King says that someone stole his crown. Rampage says that he thinks he knows who has it, and they leave. However, the Bella Whores I MEAN TWINS start talking and talking, and I don’t know what they said, becuse I don’t like them!!
Next up, Santino comes up, and we’re told that the choices for this match are either an actual match, an arm-wrestling competition, or a dance-off. Three guesses what this one’s gonna be…
<COMMERCIAL>
Vladimir Kozlov comes out and gets in the ring, and then Matt Striker tells us that the fans voted on a dance-off. Surprise. Surprise.
Santino Marella vs Vladimir Kozlov in a Dace-Off
Santino starts first and it’s surprisingly not that bad. I mean, it’s not that great, but it’s not that bad. He does the running man, I believe, turned his Cobra move into a dance move, a Chippendale type thing, and then ended it with his Cobra again. Now, it’s Vlaidimir’s turn. The Moscow Mauler shows that he actually does have some kind of rthym, and manages to win. Oh, and Cole, it’s not vintage if he’s never done it before. Shut up.
Vladimir Kozlov wins dance-off
He does some weird ass belly roll thing and then dances with Santino, and leaves the ring. Whatever. Next up, you vote on the Diva’s action!! Either a six-on-six Diva Tag Match, a Diva Battle Royal, or a Champion vs Champion match!!
<COMMERCIAL>
All the Divas come out to the ring to Eve’s music, and Jerry’s in the ring. He says that you all voted, and the Diva’s match will be a Diva’s Battle Royal!
Divas Battle Royal
I hate trying to cover Battle Royals, because my ADD kicks in. Anyway, here’s the order of eliminations: Rosa Mendes, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Nikki or Brie Bella, Brie or Nikki Bella, Layla, Michelle McCool, Eve Torres and Jillian Hall.
Winner: Maryse
Later on tonight, Edge takes on Randy Orton, with one arm tied behind his back.
Sheamus makes his way to the ring (I assume), and is stopped by Kane, who says that just because Sheamus is on RAW and not on Smackdown doesn’t mean that he’s off the hook. Sheamus took out Triple H to make a name for himself, and Kane says that Sheamus would do the same to The Undertaker. Sheamus says that he wouldn’t be shy about it, and he’d do it out in the open. Sheamus goes on to say that he doesn’t take kindly to false accusations, and Kane says he doesn’t take kindly to liars.
Next up, yu choose who Sheamus should face: Kane, Mark Henry, or Evan Bourne.
<COMMERCIAL>
@steveaustinweb Natalya couldn’t be in this one!? #RAW
@alisha225 SHEAMUS A. GETS A TAN B. GETS COLORED IN C. DISAPPEARS
@ThingsColeSays If Kane set Sheamus’ hair on fire, would anybody even notice?
We come back to Sheamus in the ring, and a flashback to last week. You know, where Evan Bourne teamed up with John Cena to actually be in a main event? That they won? AGAINST SHEAMUS AND EDGE?! That one. Matt Striker then says who the opponent is, and OMG MARK HENRY GOT RID OF THE KOOL-AID MAN GEAR!
Sheamus vs Kane
Holy condiment man, Batman!! Sheamus looked freaked out, which made me happy, because it was just like the old days! You know, when Kane didn’t lose every other match to guys like Dolph Ziggler. Anyway, the match begins, and Kane immediatly gets the upper hand and hurls Sheamus over the top rope. He follows Sheamus out of the ring, beating on his arm for a bit before thowing him back in the ring. Kane goes up to the top turnbuckle, but Sheamus knocks his leg out from under him, and hits him with some forearms. Sheamus then hits a running powerslam, though it looked more like a waddling powerslam to me, and goes for a cover. Kane kicks out at two, and Sheamus dominates going into the commercial.
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to see Sheamus going for a cover, but Kane kicks out a two. So, Sheamus tries his luck at a submission, but Kane powers out and pushes Sheamus into the ropes, dropping a big boot on Sheamus’ head. The two exchange slaps for a minute before Kane gains the upper hand, Irish Whipping Sheamus, then clotheslining him. He hits a sidewalk slam, then his usual dropkick to the mouth, and goes for a cover. Sheamus kicks out at two. Kane goes to the top rope and hits a clothesline on Sheamus. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Sheamus kicks Kane in the gut. Sheamus misses with an Axe Handle, and Kane goes for a chokeslam. Sheamus gets out and counters with a backbreaker on Kane. Sheamus then goes for his big boot, but Kane goes for a chokeslam, and simply shoves Sheamus out of the ring. Sheamus gets back in and goes for another boot to the face, but Kane counters with the chokeslam. Sheamus rolls out of the ring, and doesn’t get back in.
Kane wins via Count Out.
Later on, WWE Champion John Cena will fight World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi gotta admit it. I love the photo-shopped sling on Randy.
Congratulations to Wade Barrett for winning NXT! The NXT ring announcer, Savannah, greets and congratulates Wade for his win. She asks what it’s like to win, and he tells her that asking him that is like asking a genius how it feels to pass a school exam. He says not to ask him that until after he makes history later.
Ted and Virgil are talking about Viewer’s Choice, and Ted says he should be running the show. Rampage and Murdoch (I know I’m mixing names here, but I don’t care) show up and say that they know that Ted has Jerry’s crown. Ted says he could buy whatever he wants, and the last thing he wants is Jerry’s crown. Murdoch says that he’s going to bring out the lie detector, and Ted says they don’t work. Rampage gets nose-to-nose with Virgil and says that it’s not that kind of lie detector. IRS shows up, wearing Jerry’s crown, and says that since Jerry never paid backtaxes on the jewels, it’s his. Ted then says that he knows who they are and that the crown was only bait. Smoke fills the room, and Murdoch passes out as Ted, Virgil, and IRS grab Rampage.
Next up, R-Truth and The Miz have a tag team match!! You vote on their tag team partners. For Truth, you can choose Christian, MVP, or John Morrison. For Miz, you can choose Dolph Ziggler, William Regal, or Zack Ryder.
<COMMERCIAL>
R-Truth comes out and says that the WWE Universe had the power tonight to pick his tag-team pertner, and he wants to know who it is. So, the poll comes up and it was John Morrison!! Next, The Miz comes out, saying that the WWE Universe obviously doesn’t know what they’re doing. They chose John Morrison, after they chose Khali and Hornswoggle to face the Hart Dynasty, and then chose Vladimir to do a dance-off, so Miz doesn’t care who his partner is. All that matters is that Miz wins tonight so that he can go about getting his United States Championship back.
United States Champion R-Truth and John Morrison vs The Miz and Zack Ryder
Miz and R-Truth start it out, and Miz gets the upperhand. Truth manages to avoid Miz, and hip tosses Miz. He then tags in Morrison. They Irish Whipped him at the same time, and hip tossed him together. Morrison grabs Miz and tags Truth back in, the two double slam, and then Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz kicks Truth in the face and tags in Zack Ryder. Ryder hits Truth with a neck breaker, and then goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out at one. Ryder moves and tags Miz back in, and Miz kicks Truth in the gut. He punches Truth in the face, kicks him in the head, and then bounces off the rope to kick Truth in the face. He then covers Truth, only for Truth to kick out at two. Miz gets Truth in a headlock, and Truth tosses Miz behind him, and they’re both down. Truth goes to tag Morrison, and Miz grabs his ankle, only ending up in pulling off his shoe as Morrison is tagged in. Morrison hits Miz with a clothesline, then an Irish Whip into a flying chuck. Morrison then knocks Ryder off the apron, and hits Miz with a knee to the face. Morrison goes to cover Miz, but Ryder breaks it up. Truth comes in, smacking Ryder around, until Miz grabs Truth. Truth then slaps Miz, Ryder shoves Truth out of the ring, and Morrison kicks Ryder out. He then turns his attention to Miz, who moves so that Morrison’s shoulder meets the ring post. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale, goes for the cover and wins with a three count.
The Miz and Zack Ryder win.
Edge and Bret are talking backstage, and Edge says that it’s not fair. Bret says that, fair or not, it’s going to happen. Edge walks off, and Bret starts to walk away, only for Kane to come out and call Bret out. Kane says that if he finds out it was Bret, then he will be in a vegetative state, just like the Undertaker is.
<COMMERCIAL>
@jenrae73 My 50yr old alcoholic Aunt has the same shirt R-Truth is wearing 2nite. #Raw #WWE #BWF
Edge vs Randy Orton with Edge’s hand tied behind his back
Edge comes out, and there is a flashback to last week, when Randy RKO’d Edge in the ring, and Edge retaliated by slamming the door shut on Randy’s shoulder. Randy comes out afterward in a sling. The ref ties Edge’s arm behind his back, and then the match begins. Edge goes for a clothesline, but Randy ducks it. Edge goes for a kick, but Randy ducks and retaliates with a clothesline of his own, and proceeds to stop on Edge. Randy went for a left-handed RKO, but missed, and Edge knocked him down. Edge manages to get his arm free and goes at Randy’s shoulder before the ref pulls him away. Edge breaks away from the ref and does it again, before the ref calls for the bell.
Randy wins via DQ
Edge moves to the opposite corner and prepares for the spear. He goes for it, but Randy kicks at Edge and then kicks him right out of the ring. He then follows Edge, but Edge had a chair and hits Randy’s shoulder with it. When Randy goes down, Edge hits him again with it. As Edge walks backstage, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole tries to figure out if Edge knocked Randy’s shoulder out of socket.
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to Evan and John talking to each other about last week. Savannah comes up after Evan walks away and asks Cena how he feels about not knowing his opponent tonight. He says that he feels better about this match that he does about Fatal 4Way, since he has to face three different men. At least in this match, it’s just one. Besides, he feels that the decision is left up to the most able-bodied decision makers on the show: The WWE Universe.
The camera goes to the locker room where Murdoch was, and Mean Gene is talking to him, saying that he has a chance to surpass the previous A-Team, and he hopes that Murdoch will do a better job of it then Josh Matthews did of replacing him. Murdoch seems to get an idea and takes off.
Drew McIntyre makes his way to the ring, and Teddy Long comes on, saying that the choices for Drew’s opponent are Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, or a Mystery Man!!
<COMMERCIAL>
Drew McIntyre vs Mystery Man… Matt Hardy!
Obviously not surprising, the Mystery Man is Matt Hardy. When Matt comes out, Drew grabs a mic and says that this match isn’t happening because Matt is suspended. Teddy comes out and says that, unfortunately for Drew, Matt’s only suspended from Smackdown, not from RAW, so the match is taking place. Drew starts to say something, but before he can say anything else, Matt smacks him and then tackles Drew. Matt hits a clothesline and throws Drew out of the ring, bouncing his head off the announce table, and then throwing him right into Michael Cole. Matt then hurls him into the barricade, a ring post, then headbutts him before getting Drew back in the ring. Drew manages to retaliate with a kick, but they’re both down. Drew runs at Matt, and Matt moves, sending Drew right into the pole. Matt hits the Twist of Fate for the win.
Matt Hardy wins
Matt continues to assault Drew after the match, throwing the ref away when he tries to stop Matt. Matt ends up yanking out a pretty nice sized chunk of Drew’s hair.
The camera shows Rampage chained to a chair and he asks Ted what he wants with him. Ted says that it’s not important right now. Right now, they’re going to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
Ted, Virgil, and IRS handcuff Rampage to the ring ropes, and hold him back. Ted says that he’s doing this because everyone has a price, even him. Someone said they wanted Ramapge delivered to them on a silver patter, and Ted said to name their price. So, it was paid, and now Rampage was all theirs. The person that comes out to claim Rampage would be none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper says that at Wrestlemania I, he shut everyone up who kept saying that The A-Team was te hottest show on television, and he silenced the old Mr. T. Now, he says he has to silence another “Mr. T”, and he’s not going to see The A-Team. Piper pities the fool who mess with Hot Rod.
However, Dusty Rhodes, Mean Gene, and Murdoch make their way to the ring. Rampage shoves IRS and Virgil away, and pulls his hand free from the handcuff. IRS goes for a clothesline on Rhodes, and Rhodes dodges, elbowing him in the head instead. Virgil and Piper just stand there, looking at Rampage and Rhodes. Rampage slams Virgil, and Piper leaves the ring. Gene asks how they did it, and Murdoch says he remembered where he was and that he needed to call Dusty for help.
Voting is open, so you can now choose whether WWE Champion John Cena faces World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk.
<COMMERCIAL>
Next week’s guest host is USA Network’s Original Series Royal Pains Star, Mark Feuerstien, and I’m pretty sure I heard that Big Show is going to be hosting with him! Josh Matthews shows up with Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, and the Straight Edge Society, and asks them all why they should be competing against Cena tonight. Rey says that in order to get to the top, you have to go after whoever is on top. Swagger bascially just says that it’ll be Champion vs Champion, and Punk says that he can make Cena a better person.
Brrrrrr LEATHER SHOES!!!
Cena makes his way out to the ring, and Matt Striker lets us know who the pick was for Cena’s opponent tonight.
WWE Champion John Cena vs CM Punk with Straight Edge Society
As soon as the bell rings, Cena goes for the mask, and Punk rolls right out of the ring. It looks to me like CM Punk met up with the Bellas backstage and totally jacked their ring gear. Anyway, Punk gets the upperhand when he gets back in and puts Cena in a headlock. Cena counters with a shoulder block and flips Punk, putting him in a headlock. Punk reverses, then Cena counters, and goes for the mask again. Punk rolls out. When he gets back in, he goes for a lockup, but knees Cena in the gut, followed by his shoulder. He flips Cena, drops a dropkick to the back of Cena’s head, and goes for a cover. Cena kicks out at two. Punk gets Cena in a submission hold, but Cena powers out and goes for the STF, but Punk grabs the ropes. Punk misses a clothesline, and Cena Irish Whips him across the ring, hitting a bulldog. He goes for another move, but Luke Gallows grabs his ankles, sending him to the mat, rolling around.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 CM Punk is looking like an Amish Luchador! #WWE #RAW #BWF
We return to Punk holding Cena in a headlock. Cena counters to a fireman’s carry, but Punk counters it. Punk goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Cena ends up outside the ring, and Serena kicks Cena. Cena is then kicked by Punk and put back in the ring. Cena starts to fight back, then goes to Irish Whip Punk, just for Punk to reverse it. Cena ducks a clothesline, then hits Punk with two shoulder tackles, and a takedown. Cena pauses as he sees Wade Barrett begin making his way down the ramp. Cena ignores him for a minute, and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and lifts Punk up to a fireman’s carry. But, he drops Punk and tells Barrett to make his move.
Okay, here is about where I got too confused to keep up with the show, unfortunately.
The Season One NXT Rookies appeared from frigging nowhere and started to tear everything apart. They took apart the ring, the barricades, announce table, beat the hell out of Cena, stripped Justin Roberts, choked him with his own tie, beat the hell out of Jerry Lawler… I don’t know what happened, to be honest. I think they were spending too much time alone with Sheamus in a room with nothing but black lights and all that fluorescent finally got to their heads…
Anyway, I don’t know what that was all about, and hopefully the WWE will explain it next week! And with that, I’ll see you next week!
This week’s RAW review is written by frequent contributor @TheMizMagnet, who used to be @AlyKat_730. Aly liked doing the guest host thing in my RAW reviews so much that she was the first person to volunteer when I asked if anybody wants to take over for me here on BWF on Monday Nights. Let us know what you think of Aly’s work via facebook, twitter, or MySpace!
Tonight’s RAW is hosted by actor and Twitter sensation (I read that somewhere… I think it was WWE Universe’s Twitter), Ashton Kutcher! The main event is a tag-team match between Randy Orton and WWE Champion John Cena, taking on Sheamus and Edge!!
We start in the middle of some action already up. Edge was beating on Evan for some reason, and told Evan that it was his ring. According to Michael, Edge came out before RAW and said it was his ring, and Evan Bourne came out to say that he wasn’t going to wait for a chance. Holy crap, is the RAW set backwards?
Anyway, Edge and Evan Bourne are fighting in the ring, and as Edge Irish Whips Evan into the ropes, Evan gets the upperhand. Here, Jerry Lawler would like to point out to us that this is not an official match, which I think all of us knew based on the fact that Edge was still in his jeans… Anyway, Evan gets Edge down, and goes for Air Bourne, but Edge rolls out of the way and hits Evan with the Spear. We find out that before we joined RAW, Evan asked for a match, stating that if he beat Edge, he wanted Edge’s spot in the Fatal Four-Way for the WWE Championship.
Edge calls for a mic and says that what happened to Evan Bourne is exactly what is going to happen to his opponents at Fatal 4Way: Randy Orton, Sheamus, and WWE Champion, John Cena. He continues on, saying no matter what he does, or how many times he proves his dominance, people like Evan Bourne and the WWE Universe continue to disrespect him. At Fatal 4Way, that all changes, because he’s nothing like his opponents. He’s not like John Cena, who’s the WWE Universe’s superhero, and quite possibly the strongest man in the industry. He’s not like Sheamus, who doesn’t care who gets in his way and will bulldoze his way through anyone to take what he wants. And he’s definitely not like Randy Orton, that snake in the grass who lies in wait to pounce and sink his fangs into you. He goes on to say that the WWE Universe are a bunch of sheep (Chris Jericho anyone?) who just fall in line. At Fatal 4Way, Edge says he’s going to prove everyone who disrespects him wrong when he becomes a ten-time WWE Champion. Gonna be honest here… I was hoping he’d go on another ‘WRONG!’ tirade, but he didn’t.
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…
Randy comes out, and Jerry or Michael Cole tell us that there are 13,124 members of the WWE Universe in attendance tonight. Whatever. Randy gets in the ring, and Edge seems to be backing away, staying cautious. Edge says that Randy thinks he’s just gonna come out there and do something to Edge, but it won’t happen because Randy’s not at 100% due to what Edge did to him at Over the Limit (a dislocated shoulder, for those of you who don’t know). Edge starts to present Randy with an option concerning Fatal 4Way, but Randy RKO’s Edge. Reminder: These two men will be on opposite sides of the ring tonight as they go to tag team action. Randy Orton and WWE Champion, John Cena vs Edge and Sheamus. Up next, we hear from Ashton Kutcher!
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to Monday Night RAW to see Ashton Kutcher on his laptop, talking about Zack Ryder talking smack to him on Twitter. Eve Torres comes up and they hug, and Eve asks what’s going on. Ashton tells her that Zack Ryder was talking smack about him on Twitter. Does Zack know that Ashton is guest host and that he has five million Twitter followers?! Eve asks what Ashton’s going to do about it, and Ashton says he’s going to put a hit on Zack Ryder, and it could be anyone: A referee, a wrestler, a Diva, Eve herself, Ashton, an announcer…
About that time, Miz shoes up and says that Ashton wanted to see him. This was confirmed by my friend, @Niki_Sushi that Ashton really did tweet Miz to see him during RAW (@aplusk: hey @mikethemiz I need to see you tonight. #RAW). Miz goes on with theories about why Ashton may want to see him, and even mentions that Ashton may want him to star in The Killers 2. Ashton laughs and says that he and Bret Hart have set up a match for The Miz tonight against a Superstar they have acquired a one-night contract for: Daniel Bryan. Ashton says that Daniel Bryan is going to make the Miz tap out, and Miz retorts that Ashton needs to grab his camera and take pictures of what The Miz is going to do to Daniel Bryan tonight. Ashton responds, saying that Miz wouldn’t be able to see it because it’d be so far up his- He is about to continue, but Eve stops him and reminds both men that this is PG television.
New United States Champion R-Truth vs Chris Jericho
Truth is called out to the ring, his new United States Championship around his waist. RAW shows a replay of last week,where R-Truth faced The Miz to pick up the championship. Chris Jericho gets into the ring after his entrance plays, and this is where I realize they’re coming out from the other side of the entrance thing this time. It messed me up.
The match starts, and Chris gets Truth in a headlock. Truth pushes him into the ropes, only to run into a clothesline from Jericho. Truth retaliates with a hip toss on Chris, and Chris goes for a Codebreaker, but Truth catches his feet and tosses him out onto the ring floor before jumping over the top rope and landing on him.
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to see Chris in control. Apparently, he dropped Truth, stomach-first, into the top rope and then used a baseball slide to get Truth out of the ring. Now, Chris has him in a headlock, but it’s not too long before Truth starts to fight out, successfully breaking the hold. Truth takes Chris down for a pin, but Chris kicks out at two. Chris uses the insigari on Truth, and goes for a pin, but Truth kicks out a two. Truth has Truth between the top and middle rope and holds on, breaking at three before going back and breaking at four. Truth gets up only to be thrown into the turnbuckle and beats on him, pulling Truth out at the ref’s three count. Chris gets Truth down, and Chris pantomimes wiping his hands before he brings Truth to his feet. He slaps Truth, then Irish Whips him. Truth retaliates with a flying shoulder.
Truth then takes control, hitting Chris before he dances and slaps Chris to the ground. Truth Irish Whips Chris, who manages a counter, only to get hit with a hurricanrana. Truth kicks Chris in the face and goes for the pin, but Chris kicks out at two. Truth runs at Chris, but Chris kicks him in the face and the bulldogs Truth. He goes for the Lionsault, but Truth rolls out of the way. Truth gets Chris on his knees, then goes for the bicycle kick before Chris gets out of the way and goes for the Walls of Jericho. He can’t lock it in, however, and ends up sending Chris away. Truth hits Chris with a kick to the stomach and seemed to attempt a suplex, only to drop Chris with a facebuster. He goes for a cover, but Chris kicks out at two.
Truth grabs Chris to pull him away from the ropes, but Chris holds on. The ref comes up to pull Truth off, and Chris takes advantage, poking Truth in the eyes. He then knocks Truth down, goes for a cover, and Truth kicks out at two. Chris kicks Truth in the head, while mocking him, yelling “What’s up!?”. Chris Irish Whips Truth, and bends down, probably for some move or another, but Truth kicks him in the stomach. Truth misses a spin kick, and Chris capitalizes by locking in the Walls of Jericho. Truth, however, counters it with a small package, and pins Chris for the win.
United States Champion R-Truth Wins!
Reminder! Our Main Event tonight is Edge and Sheamus vs Randy Orton and John Cena!
<COMMERCIAL>
The Fatal 4Way theme is Showstopper, by Toby Mac, I think it said. Anyway, a replay of last week is now shown. Batista is in the ring, bandaged and bruised in a wheelchair. He says that Cena is going to give him a rematch, he deserves a rematch. RAW Ring Announcer Justin Roberts interrupts him and says that he has just been asked to announce RAW’s new General Manager, Bret “The Hitman” Hart! flsajf;sdlkfjasldkfj… Sorry, I can’t stand Bret. Bret then tells Batista that he has a match tonight to get his rematch. He’ll face Randy Orton for a chance to qualify at Fatal 4Way. Batista says he can’t possibly fight tonight, and Bret can’t make him. Bret then says that if he doesn’t fight, he forfeits. Batista says if that happens, he’ll quit. Bret says that Randy qualifies by forfeit, Batista flips and says that WWE is nothing without him, and quits.
Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox are together backstage, and they’re talking to someone, who we find out in just a second is Bret Hart, about Ashton Kutcher putting a hit on him. Bret says he has more important things to deal with than Zack. Zack claims that he’s watching Bret, and then walks away. The Hart Dynasty show up next and wonder what Bret wanted to see them about. Bret says he signed the three people that attacked them last week, and he’s not going to punish them for it either. He says that even though he’s General Manager of RAW now, he can’t cut the Hart Dynasty any favors. He then says that the question the Hart Dynasty needs to ask is what they’re going to do about it.
Eve’s music hits and she is accompanied to the ring by Santino Marella. This should be entertaining…
<COMMERCIAL>
Mixed Tag Team Match: WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres and Santino Marella vs. Maryse and William Regal with Vladimir Kozlov
We come back to see Santino teaching Eve how to do his weird cobra thing. Eve’s music fades and Maryse’s plays. She stops about halfway down the ramp, and William Regal’s music hits, and he’s joined by Vlaidimir Kozlov. Santino takes the mic when Willaim and Vladimir get to the ring, saying that, for the love of George Lucas, Willaim Regal should get rid of the Darth Vader wannabe music. He then asks Vladimir why he comes out to the ring with Regal when the two of them could be a great tag team. He continues on to say that if Kozlov joins him, then Eve will make love to him. Kozlov looks interested for a minute before Eve says that’s not true, and Santino clarifies that Eve would love for Kozlov to join with Santino, not the other thing.
The match starts with Eve and Maryse. Or, it would, if one of them would attack the other. They stand there for about a minute, just laughing at one another. Eve finally goes at Maryse, who knees her and then Irish Whips Eve, who rolls over Maryse. Maryse then drop kicks Maryse, who moves to the corner to take Regal in. Santino is tagged in, and seems to be luring Regal in. The crowd chants for Santino, who acts a little embarrassed. Santino looks like he’s trying to do a leg sweep to Regal, who finally gets sick of him and throws Santino around, calling him a ‘bloody idiot’. He goes for the Regal Stretch, but Eve kicks him, breaking it up, and Maryse goes after her. The ref and Regal are both watching the Divas, and Kozlov comes in, chokeslamming Regal before rolling out of the ring and walking up the ramp with Maryse. Santino’s arm covers Regal, and Eve and Santino win.
Diva’s Champion Eve Torres & Santino Marella win.
Bret Hart is on his way to the ring for an important announcement concerning next week’s show!
<COMMERCIAL>
The WWE shows their annual Memorial Day package, which is dedicated to the fallen soldiers in the United States Military who died to protect the freedoms we hold dear today. Happy Memorial Day, everyone!
Justin Roberts then introduces the new General Manager of RAW, Bret “The Hitman” Hart! Bret comes to the ring and says that even though he’s only been General Manager of RAW for about a week, he’s having loads of fun. He got together with Smackdown General Manager, Theodor Long, and decided to do something special for next week! All of the Superstars from RAW and Smackdown are going to come together under one roof live next week, and it’s going to be a three hour special RAW! But, not just any special three hour RAW! The fans are going to be apart of the action. The fans can tell their ideas to Bret, and the WWE Superstars can even bring their ideas to Bret
It’s a new day… it’s a new generation…
Ted DiBiase comes out to the ring, joined by Virgil, and says that if Bret and Teddy Long are accepting suggestions, he’s got one: Make him General Manager for the night. Not guest host, but General Manager, with complete power. He says that he’s willing to pay Bret and Teddy Long whatever it takes, because, even though Bret may stand there an dlook like he’s too good to be bought, everybody has a price. Ted goes on to say that Teddy Long will be bought off easily, and the reason Bret came back to the WWE and became RAW’s General Manager was because he needed money. He says that the only thing Bret has to do to make all his problems go away is name is price.
Ashton Kutcher comes over the TitanTron with one of his pre-taped clips and tells them to wait. Before Bret gives that power to Ted DiBiase, why don’t they give that power to the fans? The only thing they have to do is make it a Viewer’s Choice, let the fans pick the matches and stipulations all across the board. Bret agrees, so next week’s RAW is not only three hours long, but is a Viewer’s Choice RAW!
No Chance… that’s what you’ve got…
Look Busy! The boss is comin’!
Vince seems rather happy tonight as he makes his way down the ramp, and Jerry Lawler points out that this is the first time we’ve seen him since Wrestlemania 26. Vince talks to Bret, asking if he got all of the violence on his heart out. Bret says mostly, and a ‘You Tapped Out’ chant starts. Vince claims he didn’t really, and tells Bret that he has to treat the WWE Universe as children, and he means that in the most complimentary way. But, what he means by that is that they can’t make the right decisions, and sometimes, you have to make the decisions for them. Bret says that he’s ready for whatever the WWE Unvierse is going to throw at him, and tells Bret that he hopes Bret’s story as General Manager has a happy ending.
Turns out Zack is still trying to figure out who his hitman is, and he’s confronted Randy Orton about it. Randy tells Zack that if he wanted to take him out, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. Alicia Fox grabs Zack’s hand and leads him away, claiming that she knows how to figure out who it is. Randy watches them go, and then the door opens slightly and then slams shut on Randy’s shoulder. Edge stands there as Randy holds his shoulder, and then steps over him and heads out like nothing happened.
<COMMERCIAL>
The Miz vs Daniel Bryan
AWESOME!! I came to play!
Miz comes to the ring first, followed by Daniel Bryan, who is still coming down to the NXT theme. There is a replay here of what happened on NXT last time, where Michael Cole confronted Daniel Bryan (who looked like his fashion sense was very Miz-inspired). Bryan says that Michael Cole isn’t a man because he can’t escape from a simple handshake. Security rushes in, and Cole slaps Bryan. Bryan chased Cole around the ring and security finally pushes him off. The pros watch as Bryan comes up, and Miz tells Bryan he should just leave, only for Bryan to get mad and punch Miz. The two go at each other, only for security to end up escorting Bryan backstage.
In the ring, Daniel quickly gains the upperhand, putting Miz in an armbar. The ref is trying to pull Daniel off. When he finally gets off, Daniel runs into the turnbuckle, and Miz gets him with a take down before he just begins wailing on Bryan, ending it with a kick to the face before going for a cover. Bryan kicks out at two. He then slaps Miz, and Miz starts wailing on him. Miz then throws Bryan into the corner before hitting him with a swinging corner clothesline. From there, Miz climbs up the turnbuckle and jumps off, driving his fists into Bryan’s shoulders and Michael Cole won’t shut up about how outraged he is by Daniel Bryan’s actions on NXT and blah blah blah. No one likes you, Cole, go find your real family. Miz keeps wailing on Bryan, who finally gains the upper hand and gets Miz in some arm bar/headlock move. Miz rolls back to cover, but Bryan moves and manages to cover Miz for the win.
Daniel Bryan wins.
After the match, Miz attacks Brian, throwing him out of the ring. Miz climbs out and kicks Bryan’s head before picking him up and taking him to the announce table, telling him to apologize to Cole. Bryan then elbows Miz’ gut before sending him flying over the announce table and into Michael Cole. Is there going to be a match with Michael Cole and Daniel Bryan next week?!
<COMMERCIAL>
Cole claims to be assaulted for the second time in less than a week, but no one besides Jerry Lawler seems to care… Actually, Jerry doesn’t even seem to care that much. A replay to last week is played where the new tag team attacks the Hart Dynasty.
We come back to RAW to see the new tag team standing the ring, saying that the whole world is tripping over them. They are Jay and Jimmy Uso, Rikishi’s twin sons, with Tamina Snuka, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka’s daughter. They claim that the Hart Dynasty aren’t the only ones with family that run deep in the business. The Harts were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. They claim they were born and created for one purpose: Dominate!
The Hart Dynasty comes out, and Tamina and Natalya roll out of the ring. The Hart Dynasty goes for the Hart Attack, but Tamina grabs Tyson’s ankles, and turns just in time to deliver a vicious clothesline to Natalya. Tamina takes Natalya back in the ring, and the three of them perform a frog splash on all three members of the Hart Dynasty.
Still to come, the Main Event! Will Randy Orton be able to compete, or will Cena have to find a new partner?!
<COMMERCIAL>
Oh, radio, tell me everything you know…
We come back in time for Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox to come down to the ring. Zack says that he knows Ashton Kutcher put a hit out on him, and Alicia had a great idea: Come down to the ring and demand to know who it was. Because that’s not common sense or anything. Ashton comes on the TitanTron and asks if Zack wants to know who it is. Zack says yes, and Jerry Lawler starts into the ring with a chair.
Zack Ryder with Alicia Fox vs Jerry “The King” Lawler with Steel Chair
Zack seems amused that it would be Jerry, but Jerry merely sits on the chair. Ashton gets Zack’s attention again and says that it’s not Jerry. Jerry climbs out of the ring, and different music hits.
Zack Ryder with Alicia Fox vs The Great Khali
Zack and Alicia immediately climb out of the ring as Khali makes his way to the ring, alone. He climbs in, looks at them, and then raises his arms. The crowd cheers, but Ashton comes back on and says that it’s not The Great Khali either.
Zack Ryder with Alicia Fox vs Goldust
Goldust starts down the ramp and takes a breath, but Ashton says it’s not him either. Zack claims that he’s getting really paranoid, and he just wants to know who it is. Ashton says that he’ll never see it coming. Alicia grabs the mic and says something unimportant. She goes to hand it back, but they both drop it. Zack bends over to grab it, and Alicia hits him with a scissor kick. Ashton claps, confirms it was Alicia, and then we’re reminded that the first Fatal 4Way match announced will be Randy Orton vs Edge vs Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena for the WWE Championship. Gonna be honest, I kind of like the theme for Fatal 4Way.
Edge is back in the back, getting ready, when Sheamus shows up. Sheamus says that he saw what Edge did to Orton and he liked it. He heard what Edge said earlier, and Edge was right: He’s nothing like Sheamus, and they don’t trust one another. Edge says if they’re smart, they can weaken Cena like he weakened Randy. Sheamus says that if Edge takes advantage of something at Sheamus’ expense, it’ll be the last mistake Edge ever makes.
<COMMERCIAL>
WWE Classics honors The Junkyard Dog this week, who died in 1998 in a car accident. Next week, RAW will be hosted by the cast of The A-Team!! Don’t forget, next week also starts at 8/7 PM Eastern/Central and is a Viewer’s Choice! During RAW, go to WWE.com to cast your opinion!
Edge and Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena and …??
You think you know me…
Edge makes his way to the ring followed by Sheamus, though neither of which looks like they actually trust one another.
Brrrrrrrr… SHABADOOOO!!!!
John Cena comes out with the WWE Championship and a mic. He says that he has unfortunate news: Since Edge decided to take out Randy Orton’s shoulder, Randy will be unable to compete. He says that Edge had a good plan to try to leave him short-handed, but Edge didn’t count on one thing: Every Superstar backstage hates Sheamus and Edge, so Cena could have anyone he wanted as a partner. He says that the partner he picked was a human wrecking ball, and had a particular beef with Edge.
Edge and Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena and Evan Bourne
I was really excited to see that Evan was getting his chance tonight, and he did prove to me, at least, that he can pull of main events. Anyway, Cena and Edge start. They lock up, and Edge knees Cena in the gut before punching him in the head. The then bounces John off the turnbuckle and punches him in the head again as Cena falls. Edge Irish Whips Cena, who gives Edge a bulldog, and then tags in Evan. Evan gives Edge some pretty solid kicks, and then takes Edge down. Edge shoves Evan to the mat, then Irish Whips him, only for Edge to counter with a hurricanrana. Evan then hits a standing dropkick, followed by a twisting drop kick which knocks Edge out of the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
When we come back, Cena is beating Sheamus down. Cena Irish Whips Sheamus across the ring and then tags in Evan. Evan launches himself across the ring at Sheamus and then covers, but Sheamus kicks out at two. Evan continues hitting Sheamus with a series of kicks aimed at his thighs before Sheamus knocks him down. Sheamus then picks Evan up and runs him into the turnbuckle, hitting his back before tagging in Edge. Edge elbows Evan down, stomping on him before laying him partially out of the ring. He kicks his head and then elbows him out onto the floor. He gets Evan back in before tagging in Sheamus, who lifts Evan up for a suplex. Evan brings his knees down, hitting Sheamus in the head. As soon as Evan’s feet hit the mat, he’s kicking Sheamus’ thighs again. He tries to jump to Cena, but Sheamus catches him and throws him away from his corner, where he clotheslines Evan, and ten goes for a cover. Evan kicks out at two.
Sheamus drops a knee on Evan’s face before stepping on Evan and tagging Edge in. Edge kicks Evan’s side, then hurls Evan across the ring into the turnbuckle. He goes for a cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Evan manages to gain a little momentum here, but Edge then kicks him in the face and goes for another cover. Again, Evan kicks out at two. Edge puts Evan in a headlock, but Evan manages to fight out and hit an insigari on Edge, leaving both of them motionless for a moment in the ring, tagging their partners in before the ref can hit six on the count.
Sheamus gets hit with a few shoulder blocks before Cena drops him and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He lifts Sheamus for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus manages to counter and slam Cena to the ground. Sheamus goes for his kick, but Cena moves. Evan jumps up, managing to kick Sheamus in the head. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and then Edge goes for a Spear, instead hitting the turnbuckle. Cena tags Evan in, and Evan hits Air Bourne before covering Sheamus for the win.
WWE Champion John Cena & Evan Bourne win!
Overall Thoughts: Overall, it was a pretty good RAW. Once again, the guest host segment was retarded, and I was a little disappointed that Ashton Kutcher’s segments were all pre-filmed instead of it all being live. But, the main event had some good action, and I’m glad that Evan got a push to the main event. Next week, I’ll be in class for about the first… half hour of RAW or so, but I’ll see if I can’t get a summary from a friend or something for ya. Also, next week is the return of the BWF Tweets!! Use the hashtag #BWF on Twitter to get your tweets in the review!! Seeya next week!
Hey folks, ThinkSoJoE here, filling in for tharvey1 who is on vacation this week.
You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry, you’d better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why. Santa Claus is comin’ to town – and hopefully, he won’t be singing “What’s Up” as he comes down your chimney. It’s Christmas Eve, it’s 8PM, and it’s on a network I don’t get, so we’re bootlegging it* for WWE Superstars!
*BoredWrestlingFan does not condone or endorse illegal downloads – but, since this show will be up on Hulu in a few days, I suppose it doesn’t matter this time. Hello, Mr. McDevitt!
Hi, ThinkSoJoE here for WWE Superstars, filling in for tharvey1 who is on vacation this week. This is the first time I’ve ever actually watched this entire show, so here we go!
Santino Marella is the first Superstar we see. His opponent tonight is The Brian Kendrick. Jerry Lawler talks to Michael Cole about Twitter – where you can find BoredWrestlingFan.com at twitter.com/brdwrstlngfn
Santino Marella def. The Brian Kendrick
I’m going to try to do the format that tharvey1 uses here every week some justice. Kendrick controlled the match until he started telling Santino he was a loser and begun slapping him. Santino says “oh, you make-a me so mad!” He then goes on the offense, eventually picking up the win with a rollup. Funny match.
Later on tonight, CM Punk takes on Edge!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Charlie Haas is in the ring when we come back. Know what that means? He’s going to lose. Especially since his opponent is John Morrison, who beat CM Punk last week on SmackDown.
John Morrison def. Charlie Haas
Younger viewers may remember the original WWF Superstars television show, where all the matches were squashes. This could’ve very well been on that show. Nice to see you, Charlie, eat Starship Pain.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Oh radio, tell me everything you know…
Zack Ryder is on this show pretty much every week. Woo Woo Woo, you know it. His opponent, as announced Tuesday on ECW, is Tyler Reks, who has generic surf music.
Zack Ryder def. Tyler Reks
Reks held his own, but Ryder put him away with the Zack Attack. Woo Woo Woo
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Video Package: Christian, for no apparent reason.
RAW Rebound: Mark Henry pinned Randy Orton.
The Bash: CM Punk hurt his eye and apparently inadvertantly kicked the referee
Speaking of Punk, here’s the World Heavyweight Champion now!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
One half of the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, The Rated R Superstar, EDGE! makes his way to the ring, and we’re ready for our main event!
Edge def. CM Punk
Punk’s eye is the story here. Edge continues to work over the injury. That’s not to say Edge dominated, Punk showed an aggressive streak at times. Punk went for the GTS and Edge raked his eye to escape. Punk told the referee he couldn’t see, and the referee rang the bell, awarding the victory “by forfiet” to Edge.
Josh Matthews asks CM Punk if he’d done the same thing if this were a title match. Punk says his eye is more than a little bit injured. He doesn’t want to forfiet anything, but if he can’t see he can’t compete. He’ll be happy to grant Edge a rematch when his eye is better, but he can’t see right now.
That’s it, that’s the show – now it’s time to cross the line! Drow will be around in the next 24 hours with the iMPACT! review.