We open w/a recap of last week’s main event, when AJ put the WWE heavyweight champion and his no.1 contender through a table. We get a bonus recap of the double make-out on Smackdown.
Live @ the Pepsi Center in Denver and we open with “the most controversial figure in the WWE today,” AJ in the ring.
CROWD: YES! YES! YES!
AJ is “overwhelmed” and “very emotional” over the realization that her actions as special guest ref @ Money in The Bank in the WWE championship can “greatly affect the outcome.”
SIDE NOTE: DUH
With that in mind, she asks us to welcome WWE champion CM Punk.
Hulk Hogan puts over the Open Fight Night/Open Call Out and the Bound for Glory series tournament before moving on to A Double for his answer. (which has something to do with Plan C-check twitter for his response) Option A would have him hand over the title and challenge Roode at Destination X but if he lost he would have nothing. Option B he would decline and walk away still X Division champion and not be in the main event. And it appears Option C is where starting this year the current X Division champion will be allowed to turn in the belt for the chance at the World Title holder. Hogan is pleased. (So does that mean that if the X division champion loses he keeps the belt and if he wins we have an X division tournament for the title after the PPV? Um-okay.
Roode of course comes out and throws a tantrum saying that the X Division title is a paper championship and that he is the real world champion Austin Aries calls him out and the two battle it out. Security/Referees come out to break it up. Anderson comes down out and announces that basically when they’re done with each other Anderson will be waiting. (more…)
Finally, the day is upon us. April 1, 2012. John Cena vs. The Rock in the main event of WrestleMania XXVIII in Miami, Florida. But, how did we get to this monumental main event? We’ll set the DeLorean for April 3, 2011 in Atlanta, Georgia, where The Rock was the guest host for WrestleMania XXVII. Sure, I know it started before that, but you can dig through our archives and do your own damned research. This is WrestleMania week, so we’re going to talk about WrestleMania. That’s how it works. Anyways, let’s sit back, relax, and remember a time when The Miz was in the main event instead of being lost in a sea of people in an overbooked tag team match.
With all the Wrestlemania stuff going on this week, it’s easy to forget that other wrestling programs are still on and are even trying to compete with WWE this weekend. One of the is ROH who if you haven’t heard is having their Showdown In The Sun this weekend in Florida too. But before we get to that, we have this weeks edition of ROH Wrestling to go: (more…)
Where are on the road to Lockdown, and what better way to start that off then with a list by Kurt Angle explaining why he hates Jeff Hardy?!
Kurt comes out and proceeds to read off some notecards all the reasons why he hates Hardy:
1. Hardy has long hair which he dyes different colors, Kurt Angle has none.
2. Kurt Angle comes to autograph signings on time but when Hardy shows up late all the people in his line walk away to get an autograph from Hardy
3. Kurt has many action figures and posters, but when he goes to kiss his boy goodnight all he sees is Hardy posters and toys in his room, and his son also has the audacity to dress like Hardy too.
What confuses me about this make believe heel list from Angle is that with Kurt’s background as an all american Olympic good medalist wouldn’t the list he gave be only one line long “Jeff Hardy is a drug addict, and self destructive personality who is a bad influence on my son.” There he would have saved impact fans five minutes.
It's True, It's True
After reading his list he calls out Hardy, Jeff comes out looking annoyed like someone gave him the wrong order at a restaurant before entering the ring. Angle tells Jeff that he wants to wrestle at Victory Road, Hardy thinks about it and slaps the Gold Medalist. After the aforementioned bitch slap from Hardy the usual brawl insued followed by Simon Diamond, Al Snow and referees coming to ring to break it up. Jeff calls on his “Creatures of the Night” before accepting Kurt’s challenge.
Roode shoots a promo in the back about Sting booking himself in the main event of Victory Road. And as he rants in the background we see The Greatest Man Alive, Austin Aries walk up. He concurs with Bobby telling him about his twitter comments. They decide to take a walk.
Madison Rayne (ugh) and Gail Kim have a conversation while Rayne is hanging posters of Gail Kim. Gail wants to make up and she does this by signing Madison in a match with ODB, because that is what a good and caring friend does.
We have a Gauntlet Match between Kazarian Daniels and AJ Styles, where if and when AJ wins he wants to know the secret that Daniels has over his head. So by stipulating this TNA is basically saying “You probably won’t know to Victory Road, or the latest Lockdown, or wait the Impact after Lockdown because ratings are more important then PPV buys.” AJ and Daniels start off the Gauntlet Match (and for those that don’t know a Gauntlet match is where a competitor faces one opponent and after he wins takes on the next until he clears both or loses to one or the other.) They have another good match filled with reversals and cool moves that have highlighted their respective matches in the past. That is until Kaz comes in and performs Fade to Black on AJ basically DQ’ing Daniels. Before covering him for the three. Kaz is to his breaking point and not even The Fallen Angel can keep him chained.
Madison Rayne takes on ODB w/Eric this is what you expect from Rayne she takes a beating and keeps entertaining the crowd by making the face ODB look more over. Gail comes to ringside with belts in hand as I guess moral/heel support. Madison goes for her finish ODB reverses and goes for the Ba boom? Eric Young distracts the ref with his foolishness, Gail attempts to hand Madison a belt to cheat with but slips on the apron. ODB hits her move and pins Rayne for the three. Afterwards Rayne who is annoyed asks what happened as Gail apologizes.
We have replay from Bully Ray’s failed attempt at beating up Brandon Jacobs. We then are treated to another Bully Ray makes fun of the geek girl before telling her to call him. A double and Bobby walked up and try to convince Ray that James Storm isn’t the cause of his embarassment but Sting, who because he’s the authority figure.
Garrett Bischoff is cornered by Father, Gunner and Flair who gives his usual I’m old and senile speech that kind of sounds coherent if living on Shutter Island is your idea of normal. Garrett holds up all stoic as the heels look on in disgust. Because nepotism is nausea inducing.
Velvet Sky has had enough and she wants her title shot. She retells the events of two weeks ago when Rayne threw her over the ropes becoming the #1 contender. Well if you whine long enough the heels will come. Sarita and Angelina?! mock Velvet before a fight breaks out. Or more like a beat down. But the flower child is coming to the rescue Mickie James who I assume is wearing a workout outfit but looks more colorful then a Puerto Rican float decides to team up for revenge on the heels later in a tag match.
Roode, Aries and Ray come down to the ring to pout. All three after a long winded recap say their done. This of course prompts Steve to appear and question each man about abducating their respective title and paycheck. Eventually Steve sets up a six man tag main event. Ray, Aries and Roode versus Storm, Magnus and Joe.
More updates on Jesse Sorenson with a video package with his mother about how he hopes to fight and be back in the ring soon. Now I think we’re at the point where this whole reality distortion field is being set up with Sorenson his mother and Zema Ion.
Speaking of Ion he cuts an interview with Wonder Years, showing no remorse for the crippling and makes a comment about how he would break the interviewers neck for a bigger profile in TNA.
X-Division Match: Zema Ion vs Shannon Moore, it is essentially a match to set up how much of a solid heel Ion is against homeless Moore. With Ink Inc. why is Shannon still there? Zema puts on a good match that results in some good spots from both men. It comes to a close when Ion hits his chin to knee buster on Moore for the pin. Ending the segment shadowing wearing the belt.
Knockout Tag Match: The new team of Angelina and Sarita is being toted around as a new thing. I guess with Russo gone we no longer have lesbian vampires. Mickie comes out introducing Velvet with mock pigeon flapping. As we get down to business. During the match we have Mike Tenay for some reason segway to TMZ who I assume is affliated with Spike or Viacom for that matter, talking about the feud between Madonna and Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild infamy. Along with Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL. You know because commenting on the Knockout match is just not his job. We’ll eventually the announce team gets back on the ball, actually calling the match. This match makes me want a Sarita vs Mickie match which I won’t get but whatev’s. In the end Mickie lou thesz’s Sarita and they roll out of the ring. Velvet ducks a botex injection from Angelina and hits her faceplant to get the cover. The women celebrate as Mickie makes the pigeon wave again. Sidenote: Why is Mickie promoting masturbation? Just a thought.
The search for Abyss has started. 2 months to late. but hey its TNA not Missing Persons. Abyss’s family sent a letter to the company asking for where he was. They replay Genesis and his after match beat down from Ray. Get out the milk cartons because Detectives Tenay and Taz are on the case.
Main event time as all six men get to the ring.
This is a good match up between a different but familiar mix of competitors. Again we have the commentators getting distracted with Taz wondering about the knockouts as Tenay hypocritcally asks Taz to focus. Joe is cornered and taking a beating until he tags in James storm who goes to work. Eventual it conscends into Storm hitting the last call on Roode and getting the pin. Storm celebrates. Until Bully Ray hits Magnus and then Storm with a chair declaring himself the #1 contender,
We start Impact Invasion with a wonderful involvement of a cluster fudge clip reel inter-cutting various movies 4,5,6 and 1 with last weeks Bischoff family drama. But lets start the show with a Bully Ray in ring promo.
Meesa Approve.
After being abandoned by his partner, Roode, he wants some answers. Not even allowing Roode’s music to finish before they take it to the ring.
To do some more…talking. Until the real culprit behind their Fleetwood Mac split reveals himself. Steve Borden comes out with his trademark UK special Cricket Bat. He tells the heels to get ready for a tag match against James Storm and….(J Hardy can’t leave the states because of his parole) The Insane Icon, Sting. Ta Ta for now.
So sad you couldn't be here these past two weeks.
The continuing story of Kramer vs Kramer err AJ, Daniels fight over Kazarian continues as we have a one on one bout between the aforementioned parents. After a pretty solid match Daniels wins with brass nucks handed him by a reluctant Kaz.
Gunner and Bisch senior plan infanticid. Where is Mrs. Bischoff? Women are very protective of their children. Would make a better story.
Samoa Joe and Magnus step out next to raucous applause. While under Magnus’ music, of course. And Mag’s cuts a wonderful promo proving (hopefully to Bischoff) that he is the total package. All that comes to an end when the UK heels Morgan and Crimson come to the ring to brawl which comes to an end when joe pulls Magnus from the ring before flippin the bird.
Good showing
Next we have the neglected crown jewel of TNA the X Division. And its a three way between Shelley, Williams and Champ Austin Aries in a non-title bout. This is another strong showing from all competitors where we see Douglas going to the top rope for a flying European uppercut and various outside maneuevers. It finishes when after kicking Williams in the nuts following the chaos theory on Shelley, Aries goes for the brainbuster but is out smarted with slice bread. Giving the match to Alex Shelley in a long overdue rivialry.
In the back Hulk Hogan warns Steve Borden about having a target on his back. And to look out.
But to outside where Gail is beating on Tara. The scene jumps back to Tara taking pictures of the UK, which are interrupted by champ Kim. Bringing the fight full circle. Even with fair fight from Tara the winner after throwing thro a set of doors is Gail who mockingly brags her title and name to Wonder Years.
Hogan and Bischoff Junior are up next. After a HH endorsement we have a interruption by Bischoff Sr. and Gunner. Hilarity ensues. After a brawl Hogan highhandedly beats both Gunner and Bisch Sr. before letting Jr. get a punch in on his dad. Sad. OH AND Bully Ray and Roode argue before there match.
Hardcore Country Mickie James vs Velvet Sky where we watch Mickie slowly go heel due to no title win? What comes across as a decent match ends with a miscalculation by James leading to a win for Velvet.
Even glorified strippers win over Hardcore Country 🙁
Welcome to The Main Event: or See ya in 3 days, Champ! -Bully Ray
the crowd was hot for the faces as they took the champ and ray to task. Sting eventually clears the ring after double splashing Ray/Roode in the corner. Roode eventually dropping on Ray’s manhood. The Insane Icon S Drops Roode before locking in the scorpion deathlock. Ray comes in to interfere but says the above quote with belt in hand. Roode submits as Ray looks on.
The Star Wars promos didn’t overshadow the show because besides the opening montage and Taz being Taz mentioning princess Leila? and the minute response from Tenay the show was still good all around. Here’s to the upcoming pay per view, Against All Odds and a return back to the iMPACT Zone. The ends the no vowel edition of pntnr iMPACT Review.
Here we are again, that one day of the year where that game called Gridiron or American Football as it’s sometimes known, is having it’s biggest day (I refuse to mention the particular name of said event, as I’m going to do the whole show without mentioning it. But, if you don’t know what it is, watch ESPN, they’ll be talking about it for the next week), and at BWF, we choose to celebrate by bringing you our own half-time show. Who would you rather see, us or Madonna? I thought so..
As the snow falls in the midwest. I look upon my computer screen (seeing as how the television decided to crap out on me)and watch an opening of surprise we have a match! The three way between Velvet Sky, Mickie James and Tara is underway as Christie Hemme announces the number 1 contenders. At first as I watched this it looked pretty sloppy, miscommunication and confused looks on faces made me almost facepalm. But eventually it picked up this of course lead to the shocking winner Tara after she spider webs Velvet on top of Mickie and cover James for the win.
Seriously this is the only pic I could find. Not kidding.
We have Mike Tenay go over a brawl that took place earlier that night. Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray start kicking the hell out of each other leading to Roode pulling up in his truck double teaming Hardy, which doesn’t sound as bad as you think. Soon just as Roode/Ray throw Jeff into the back of the truck James Storm runs in to eventually get double teamed that is until the bat of justice from Steve Borden saves the day. Back into the Impact Zone as Sting, Hardy and Storm head down to call out Roode and Ray. Well lets just say another fight ensues where Steve attempts to separate everyone leading to Storm suggesting a tables match. So for your main event we have Storm/Hardy vs Roode/Ray in a tag team tables match.
We have a promo with the returning Alex Shelley, who discusses his match with Zema Ion and his subsequent match should he win against Austin Aries for the X Division title. (Just happy to see a feud with history dating back to pre-Hogan being remembered)
This is when I shake my head as Eric Young mistakes a disfigured black crew member for Sammy Davis Jr. Only for the guy to leave him at the mercy of Winter Love who attempt to seduce him into a crotch shot only for him to be prepared with a cup. More pointless filler to further a feud which can’t really be fought because Spike TV doesn’t allow female on male violence. EY scares the Vampire Lesbians away with his cup sniffing.
X division match is underway with Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley, and lets just say this is what TNA is all about or was. Fast paced action followed by near falls and amazing finishes. Zema Ion attempts a 450 splash only to miss and get sliced bread #2 for a three count. Shelley will advance toward Aries for Against All Odds.
AJ Styles has a promo describing how the business changes people. And he is also getting to the bottom of the Kaz/Daniels pairing. Which of course means nothing will be disclosed.
Eric Bischoff shows up at the gym of his son’s. Brings a camera crew to see what his trainer looks like. After some smug exchanges Garett points off camera to the shock of Eric B. Camera man is ushered out. Here’s hoping it was Eric B’s wife because who allows a man to put her son in the hospital?
Awesome! A mixxed tag match with no actual wrestling!
Lets give a run down
1. EY comes into the ring and proceeds to lock up with Earl Hebner
2. He then instructs Hebner out to the apron to be tagged in
3. Earl is tagged in and EY gets out.
4. EY locks up some more with Earl, Winter attacks, EY strips
5. EY chases Winter and Love around like a pervert
6. ODB tags in, decimates the heels
7. EY’s Hebner baffoonery distracts ref allowing Winter/Love to take control
8. After the heels have some fun,ODB is given liquid courage, popeye stle. EY and ODB do some double airplane spins (RIP Gorilla Monsoon)
9. EY and Winter dizzily exit the ring, as ODB slams Love for the three count.
10.Face Palming insues.
EY and ODB's next business
THen we have a Roode and Ray promo where some foreshadowing is being done. Ray makes some off color comment about Bobby Roode not being the champ for long showing distrust. Both men can’t turn their backs on each other.
We have an overview of the non feud of Magnus/JOE and Crimson/Morgan, I say non feud due to the ass kicking JOE and Magnus have taken in actual matches. They replay the 1 minute match between Crimson and Magnus from last week. Next we JOE vs Morgan.
Well look it here it is a good match with some hard hitting action that actually last longer than a minute. Of course Morgan wins with a running Discus Punch (shades of the Texas Tornado,Kerry Von Erich) for the win.
Afterwards the heels beat down the champs. I have a feeling that JOE/Magnus will win next month and take on the returning MCMG in the future.
AJ is looking for answers and he isn’t getting them. Daniels instead does some more taunting about Styles being a whiner leading to an altercation in which Daniels gets owned. When Kazarian won’t shake Styles hand because you know Daniels has something on him we get a match set up at AAO, Kazarian vs Styles, for all the answers!
I have a theory. Lets go back some months when Daniels turned heel and Kaz went to see him. They agreed to meet. Months go by and all of a sudden Kaz is his slave. Kaz wife Traci months earlier slept with Eric B. for the Knockouts VP position but was denied anyway with Kaz not getting angry. Even in his aborted feud with Jeff Jarrett/Karen where Jarrett called Traci names. I think Traci is Kaz’s beard as it were and he is secretly hiding his sexuality which Daniels must have found out on his trip to Kaz’s ranch.
Just A theory
Anyway. Tag team tables match was a third brawl through most of it leading into some almost table drops on both sides. Eventually James Storm gets Roode in a corner, letting Jeff hit the twist of fate, rolling roode on the table STorm hits an elbow drop for the win. Then after the heels return and beat down the faces putting Hardy through a table.
Here’s to next week when Impact is in England. PNTNR OUT.
