RAW Bullet-points 4/20/09
5 CommentsRather than do a full blown RAW review tonight or skip the thing entirely, I’m here to do a “bullet-points” edition of the RAW review! Basically, it’s a condensed version of what you usually get from me on Monday nights Tuesday Mornings, and I hope you all enjoy it!
- RAW still wants to be loved, even after Papa Roach has released another album. From what JT tells me, it’s pretty good.
- Triple H takes on Orton later tonight as RAW emanates from the UK
- SmackDown’s Chris Jericho kicks things off tonight.
- He says he’s done with RAW.
- Ricky Steamboat interrupts.
- Steamboat thanks Jericho for bringing back his passion to perform.
- Jericho challenges Steamboat to a match at Backlash.
- John Cena interrupts.
- Jericho tells Cena that his last act on RAW is to walk out on him.
- Steamboat accepts Jericho’s challenge for Backlash
- Cena tells Jericho that Vickie Guerrero is not here tonight, but she said Edge isn’t competing tonight, but Cena has to. Jericho’s last act on RAW is a match with Cena tonight.
- Rey Mysterio takes on The Big Show later tonight.
- Chavo Guerrero is officially a member of the RAW roster.
- He can push around anybody on the RAW roster
- Batista’s music hits, and the Animal hits the ring
- Batista beats Chavo in mere seconds
- Chavo apologizes to Vickie, saying he wasn’t ready
- Batista returns and drops Chavo with a second Batista Bomb
- Shane McMahon meets up with Batista backstage
- They agree to be on the same page at Backlash and apologize for attacking each other last week.
- Kane vs. CM Punk
- Both of these guys are on SmackDown now.
- Apparently the draft “takes full effect” next week after Backlash
- Punk picks up the win with a rollup
- IT’S-A HE! SANTINO!
- Last week, he lost his match to The Great Khali, so now his poor sister has to kiss Khali
- Some people think that he and his sister are the same person, he’s going to prove them wrong.
- Santina’s music is a remix of Billy and Chuck’s old theme
- She can’t kiss Khali because of a blister on her lip. She’s in Italy and joining us by satellite
- She starts to explain that she won’t be able to make SmackDown this Friday, then mysteriously speeds up her speech, which Santino explains as her drinking too much Red Bull
- Santino wrote a poem about the family
- Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez inturrupt
- She’s sorry to hear about Santina’s sister
- Santina will be able to kiss Khali at Backlash
- Santina starts to sing on the titan tron, but Santino cuts her off
- Santino tells Beth she’d better pray she wins back the Women’s Championship tonight, because she’ll never be Miss WrestleMania
- SmackDown’s WWE Women’s Champion, Melina is here to defend against Beth Phoenix
- Melina vs. Beth Phoenix (WWE Women’s Championship)
- If Beth wins this match, RAW will have both World Championships and both Women’s Championships
- Beth utilizes some Awesome Kong like moves in this match
- Melina hits a Sunset Flip Powerbomb combo for the victory
- Shane McMahon wishes Triple H good luck tonight
- Shane reminds Triple H that if their team gets disqualified at Backlash, Orton wins the title
- John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
- “Y2J” chants fill the arena
- The crowd seems to be behind Jericho, but all yelled “You can’t see me” for the Five Knuckle Shuffle
- Jerry Lawler trash talks Fozzy, saying that the crowds booed so loud that Jericho couldn’t hear himself suck. Apparently he confused Jericho with Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger
- Jericho escapes the Attitude Adjuster and drops Cena with the Codebreaker, but Cena kicks out at two
- Cena catches Jericho out of a second Codebreaker attempt with the Attitude Adjuster, but Jericho kicks out at two.
- Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Cena counters into the STF. Jericho counters into an eziguri
- Cena and Jericho battle on the top rope until Edge comes out and shoves them both down
- Edge spears Cena
- Edge hits the Con-chair-to on Cena
- Edge reminds us of the rules to a last man standing match, then counts Cena out, announcing himself as the winner
- Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show
- Big Show catches Mysterio out of a 619, holds him in a sidewalk slam position, and punches him in the head, knocking him out for the victory
- Ted DiBiase tells Cody Rhodes that it’s not the same being in a group when your leader isn’t a champion
- Orton says Triple H knows he’s done and that this Sunday Legacy will win
- Triple H vs. Randy Orton (no disqualification)
- Lots of weapons used here
- Triple H focused on Orton’s leg
- Legacy comes out to save Orton.
- Shane comes out to help HHH, but Legacy takes control
- Batista comes out and dominates
- Batista accidently hits Shane.
- HHH and Batista clear out the ring.
- Orton hits the RKO from out of nowhere. 1,2,3, ORTON WINS!!!!!!!!
- We fade to black as both teams stand face to face. Orton & Legacy on the ramp, HHH, Shane & Batista in the ring.
Thanks to JT for getting me the highlights of the last match after I left for work!