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RAW: 12/27/10

December 28, 2010 3:59 am 8 Comments

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. Who is this jerk usurping AlyKat’s spot?

The answer is G, I’ve been doing the iMPACT reviews as of late and she’s unable to make it this week.*

And I know you’re asking yourself, “Well then Mr. G, will there be the twittering like she does?”

No. Maybe some fake ones, but no. I will be doing this in my usual suffer-through-it-as-I-write style.

* Card subject to change.

Well then, let’s get down to business and see what the WWE served up for the last RAW of 2010, shall we? I haven’t done a RAW review in a long, long time.

(more…)

Hello everyone! Sorry this is up late, but I had a headache last night, and my throat hurt… Not that I need to tell you wall that. Anyway! Make sure to check out this link: http://boredwrestlingfan.com/2010/12/14/raw-tweeter-year-contest/ and vote for who you think deserves to be RAW Tweeter of the Year!! You have until December 31^st to cast your votes. Now, if your name isn’t there, don’t be upset. These are just the people who I mentioned repeatedly in the review because of their tweets. Use the #BWF hash tag (just like that) on Twitter and maybe you can get mentioned! We’ll see what happens for next year, but let’s finish up this year first.

Anyway, last night was Tables, Ladders, and Chairs! Who walked out victorious with the WWE Championship? Did John Cena defeat Nexus leader Wade Barrett? Did I eat those cookies…? I didn’t eat the cookies. I remember now.

AWESOME!

We start out with WWE Champion The Miz coming out all by his lonesome! Where’s Alex Riley?! And no Michael Cole?! Thank God!! RAW’s starting out amazing!!

Miz says that he is STILL the WWE Champion. We better get used to hearing ‘and still WWE Champion, The Miz’. Doesn’t it have a nice ring to it? He knows it’s tough for everyone to digest. They were all expecting an announcement of “the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton”, but that didn’t happen, now did it? The Miz beat Randy Orton, put him through a table and now… Miz is interrupted by some ghostly music and Alex Riley comes out.

Riley says that he is the Ghost of Christmas Past. He’s here to show Miz the error of his ways before it is too late. Behold, his first ever WWE Title Defense, which was, of course, against Jerry “The King” Lawler, three weeks ago. Miz says the error of his ways? He’s actually proud of what he did. He beat a WWE Hall of Famer and made sure that he will never be WWE Champion. He doesn’t regret that moment, and he doesn’t regret any actions he’s ever done in the past. He starts to go on, but is interrupted again by Cole, dressed up as the Ghost of Christmas Present.

Cole says “And I Quote…” Miz needs to change. His actions from last night, in the tables match vs. Randy Orton were, although vintage, unacceptable. He retained his championship through nefarious means, and he should be ashamed. Miz says no, that’s where Cole’s wrong. The actions of a true champion are defined by one sentence and one sentence only: Are they still WWE Champion after the match? And yes, he was. That is all that matters. Randy Orton underestimated Miz, and Miz beat him. So, here’s an image to put on your Christmas cards: Happy Holidays from The Miz!

Miz is interrupted again, but this time by a still image of Angry Miz girl, who tells Miz that she is the Ghost of Christmas Future, and she is very angry.

Miz needs to see the light and change his ways, or the new Number One Contender, John Morrison, will beat him. Miz says that he is the future. He is the face of this company, the most must-see champion in WWE history. Charles Dickens himself couldn’t write a better story, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…

John Morrison makes his way out, and ruins CM Punk’s night. He says he’s surprised. That was really stupid, even for Miz. But, Morrison’s actually happy for his success, because last night, he beat Sheamus. He climbed a ladder, grabbed a contract, and he’s the new Number One Contender. That means that sometime soon, they will fight for that title. And Morrison has news for Miz: He’s beat him in the past, in the present, and he knows he can beat him in the future. And when he does, he will become the new WWE Champion. Miz asks really? And has kind of a really-off with the audience. Miz says he’s always been better than Morrison, and Morrison couldn’t… Before Miz can continue, Riley jumps in front of him, between Miz and Morrison, and shoves Morrison. Miz exits the ring and Morrison goes after Riley. While he’s pummeling away on Riley, King Sheamus runs down the ramp and decides he’s going to join in the fun! He attacks Morrison, but misses, and Morrison unloads on Sheamus. Riley gets out of the ring as Sheamus attacks Morrison’s injured leg. Riley moved over to King, for some reason, and King punches him right in the face. Miz walks up the ramp.

And I Quote: “Miz, tonight, you will collide with your ghosts from the past, present, and future, in a six-man tag team match. You, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus vs. John Morrison, Jerry Lawler, and Randy Orton.”

Miz is up on the stage now, holding up his championship and yelling about how he’s the champion, when he turns to go backstage, and Randy comes out. Orton clotheslines Miz to the ground,

Coming up later, John Cena will address the WWE Universe.

@Niki_Sushi Miz, you need to change and fall in love with me so we can get married and have butt-babies. #WhatColeIsSaying #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog When was the last time John Morrison showered?

@kellylynndobson Backwards Bizarro set!!! This is not good. #RAW #BWF

@FrankWWEClown Did someone put drugs into my dinner tonight? Or am I really witnessing what I am watching on #RAW right now? #WWE

@Lunna1969 My 8 year old Niece just groaned and said that she wished CM Punk would read the GM messages! #RAW #WWE #BWF

Later on tonight, the WWE Champion The Miz, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus will face off against the team of John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Jerry “The King” Lawler. The Diva’s Champion, Natalya joins Punk, King, and Cole ringside.

Melina vs Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres to determine the Number One Contender for the WWE Diva’s Championship

Natalya says that she’s feeling quite dreamy sitting next to King, and then ends up telling him to settle his tea kettle.

The match starts out, and Alicia Fox goes to town on both Eve Torres and Melina. She switches back and forth between Eve and Melina for a while, throwing Eve out of the ring and concentrating on Melina. Melina starts to fight back against Alicia, and then fends off Eve too. All of them go for quick pins on one another, but none of them get further than two. Then Melina gets Eve on the top turnbuckle. Alicia grabs Melina onto her shoulders and holds her there, and then Eve goes to hit a flying cross body on the both of them, but Melina ducks under it, bringing Alicia with her, for a quick pin.

Melina wins via pinfall.

Natalya says it was impressive, and goes to congratulate her. Punk tells her to waffle Melina upside the head, and Natalya ignores him. She gets in the ring and goes to shake Melina’s hand, but Melina slaps the taste out of Natalya’s mouth and then walks out, her serious face on.

Nikki and Brie are arguing over Daniel Bryan, over which one is going to win his affections or something. I have no idea, but it’s nasty. Anyway, up next, Daniel Bryan has a match!

@kickoutblog “These Divas are so hot.” CM Punk channeling Jerry Lawler circa 1999?

@HitTheRopes Why isn’t Gail Kim involved in this match?

@JonHexLives CM Punk: Small package. There’s a joke in there somewhere. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Oh shit! Melina heel turn! Follow her lead Heel Nikki! Follow her lead!

@Niki_Sushi As sick as I am of Melina being the only one getting title shots, it’s better than the Bellas getting a shot. #BWF #RAW

@kellylynndobson What did the five fingers say to the face……. SLAP! #BWF

It’s WWE week on USA! Tonight, technically, Smackdown will be live on USA at 9/8 Central, and WWE Tribute to the Troops is on Wednesday night! Also, Nexus probably won’t be here tonight. Crying shame, that.

United States Daniel Bryan with the Bella Twins vs. William Regal

I marked out when I saw that his opponent was Regal. I adore Regal.

Regal and Bryan lock up as Punk, King, and Cole try to figure out why Regal’s smiling. Regal automatically throws Bryan to the ground, but Bryan jumps back on his feet and throws Regal down instead. Regal bounces back up to his feet, and then shakes his finger at Bryan, which makes me laugh. Regal drops Bryan to the ground, holding onto his arm, and then when Bryan gets up, Regal’s not letting go. Bryan rolls over to get his arm untwisted, and then goes into this bridge thing for no reason, and then hits a dropkick on Regal. They lock up again, and Bryan twists Regal’s arm this time. Regal gets loose and proceeds to kick Bryan’s spine with the toe of his boot. It apparently pisses Bryan off, because he shoots to his feet and punches Regal, then kicks him hard in the back repeatedly. Bryan gets Regal in the corner and continues to kick him. Bryan goes to whip Regal across the ring, but Regal counters and whips Bryan across. Bryan runs up the ropes and flips over Regal, and then bounces off the ropes and right into Regal’s clothesline. Regal goes for a quick pin, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal holds Bryan in a rather vicious looking headlock, but Bryan fights to his feet. He lifts Regal out of the air and goes to drop him, but Regal takes him down with him. Regal keeps the headlock applied, and Bryan fights to his feet, but Regal drops him back on the mat. Regal finally lets go and punches Bryan in the head a few times, then goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal puts his knees in Bryan’s face, then hurls him across the ring. Bryan bounces off the turnbuckle and then slams right into another clothesline from Regal. Regal goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal then puts Bryan in a full nelson, holding him there as Bryan tries to fight out. Bryan fights to his feet and then slams his ass against Regal, or at least that’s what it looks like. Regal and Bryan exchange uppercuts for a while, and then Bryan gets the momentum, only to get punched in the stomach by Regal. Regal goes for another uppercut, but Bryan catches him, going for a backslide. Regal fights out of it, and then hits Bryan in the back of the head. Regal now sets up for the Regal Stretch, but Bryan fights out of it and locks in the LaBell Lock, which Regal fights hard, for the win.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via submission.

Regal applauds Bryan, and then the Bellas get in the ring and kiss Bryan. Bryan looks confused, and I would be too.

Still to come, the WWE Champion The Miz teams up with Alex Riley and King Sheamus to take on John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Jerry “The King” Lawler!

@Niki_Sushi Ugh. Fucking Daniel. All we need is ‘What’s up?’ and… shit, I dunno. OMGREGAL! Guess I’ll watch the match now. xD #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Please give this match time #WWE

@KeepItFiveStar Please WWE, don’t make this 3 minutes long

@TKeep123 William Regal is making a Daniel Bryon match almost watchable! Alas, the Labell lock wins out. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF Hide your kids, hide your wife, and call your friends because William Regal and Daniel Bryan is going on. IWC just creamed.

We come back to John Morrison preparing for this match backstage. Randy Orton joins him and says that it looks like Morrison’s the new Number One Contender. Morrison says that the match last night was bogus. Orton says that if Morrison wins the Championship match against Miz, he’s going after Morrison. Morrison says if that happens, he’ll be ready. He trusts Randy will be ready. Randy says that’s his first mistake: Do not trust him.

We flash to Santino laying on a towel, and Tamina standing on his back, apparently trying to work out some kink or something. He asks if she knows what she’s doing, and she says not really. Maryse walks up and says that it’s cute, ugly takes care of ugly. It’s good to know after she and Ted beat them tonight, Tamina has a plan B. Tamina calls her cupcake, and Maryse stands on Santino’s back too. The two get in each other’s faces, but security carries them off, leaving Santino face down on the floor.

Mark Henry and Gail Kim are backstage talking about how the air is much fresher because for the first time in six months, the Nexus isn’t on RAW. They continue to talk, but then are interrupted by Vickie Guerrero, who barks out an ‘excuse me!’ with Dolph Ziggler in tow. Henry says he takes that back: The air is not as fresh as he thought it was.

@KeepItFiveStar They finally found Tamina some shoes.

@Niki_Sushi Dude. It’s Christmas, not fucking Valentine’s Day. Stop humping each other and WRESTLE!!! #BWF #RAW

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF What a terrible response from Morrison. “Well uh, alright…..I’ll be ready.”

@HitTheRopes Creative meeting note: “How about we put Gail Kim in a match for #1 Contender for Diva Title…nah, a segment with Mark Henry is better.”

Santino Marella and Tamina vs Ted DiBiase and Maryse

Santino walks out, all bent over. When they get to the ring, Tamina lifts Santino, cracking his back or something, and making it all better. Santino looks like he’s going to hug her, but seems to remember that he has a match to participate in. Santino and DiBiase start out, locking up. Santino makes the Cobra with his hand, and then drops DiBiase to the ground. DiBiase retaliates by punching Santino in the face. DiBiase controls the match for a while, hitting a standing dropkick right to Santino’s chin. DiBiase gets Santino in a headlock and holds him there, Santino reaching and grabbing for the ropes. Santino fights to his feet and manages to duck the clothesline from DiBiase, and then hits a hip toss on DiBiase. DiBiase rolls over to the corner, tagging Maryse in as Santino sets up for the Cobra. Maryse stands behind Santino until he turns around, and Santino forcibly stops himself from hitting the Cobra on her, saying ‘It’s a girl’. While he fights it, Maryse turns it around on him and he hits himself with the Cobra. Tamina then comes in and super kicks Maryse right in the face. She drags her to a corner, pulls her pigtails out, and then climbs up to the top rope. She’s about to jump off, when Ted goes to get her, but Santino goes to hit the Cobra, only for Ted to send him to the mat. Tamina hits the Superfly Splash for the win.

Tamina and Santino Marella win via pinfall.

Tamina glomps Santino, for that was exactly what that was, and Santino seems to have back problems again. Then again, after taking that chair from Barrett last night and the beat down from Nexus, I’d have back problems too. Tamina then carries a celebrating Santino up the ramp.

Backstage, John Cena makes his way to the ring, regifting some flowers and then drinking someone else’s coffee, I think.

@KeepItFiveStar Tamina used health. Santino restored to 100 HP

@Niki_Sushi …. Did Tamina just Sweet Chin Music Maryse?! THAT’S COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Tamina is wondering: How the heck did @TheBethPhoenix carry Santino around? Dude is NOT light.

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF WHY IS JOHN CENA STEALING FLOWERS AND DRINKING OTHER PEOPLE’S COFFEE? #HideYourFlowersHideYourCoffee #IhatePG

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MISTLETOE!!!

Cena says that they’re extra fired up tonight, and he knows why. Because tonight is epic, monumental. He feels good about tonight, he’s gonna do something he should have done a long time ago. He hugs the guy in the We Hate Cena guy, who looks ashamed. Cena says that tonight, for the first time in six months, Monday Night RAW is Nexus-free!! It makes him wanna dance, so he does the dougie. He even says that they hit rock bottom. He says it makes him wanna sing. So, he sings to make Texas happy, of course. He says that he’s so happy to be there that he has a treat. He’s commandeered some footage from last night’s TLC. It Is the footage describing the demise of Wade Barrett.

Cena plays it again, from another camera angle. Then again, from another camera angle, and yet again in slow motion. Punk is still aghast over this, by the way, and continues to call Cena a monster. Cena says that he feels good when he gets a bargain, especially close to the holiday season. Six months ago, he promised he would get to each and every member of the Nexus, and it took some time, but last night at TLC, he got to each and every member of the Nexus. That means the winds have finally changed for Barrett and his group of turd burglars, and he can now focus on the more important things, like winning the Royal Rumble and going to Wrestlemania.

Then, it’s all ruined by Vickie’s screeching. I MEAN, asking them to excuse her.

She and Intercontinental champion Dolph Ziggler come out. Vickie says pardon the interruption, but no one hears her over the crowd. Pardon the interruption, but John wasn’t the only one who won a match last night. Cena says that there’s so much hatred in the air, he can’t hear her. Every time she goes to talk now, the crowd won’t let her speak. John’s dying as they completely swallow whatever she’s trying to say. She continues to screech, and he continues to laugh. Cena tells them to give her the floor, but they won’t do it. Cena finally has to stand right in front of her to hear her, and finally tells everyone that she said he wasn’t the only one who won last night. Vickie continues, and says that despite competing in a Triple Threat match, Dolph is still Intercontinental Champion. And since Cena can show footage, Vickie can show her own footage.

Vickie says that she has come to demand an apology, and if King doesn’t give her one, her boyfriend is going to beat him up. Jerry asks if it was about her weight. HE can’t help it if she’s the only Diva in the WWE whose bathtub has stretch marks. Cena says that Vickie is so fat she wakes up in sections. Jerry responds with when God said ‘let there be light’, he had to ask Vickie to step out of the way first. John responds with ‘Vickie’s so fat, her baby pictures had to be taken via satellite.” Dolph defends Vickie, and Cena stops Dolph, and says that Dolph called Vickie a double bagger, meaning Dolph has to put a bag over his head in case the one over her head breaks. Dolph used to be afraid of the dark, but then he saw Vickie naked, and was afraid of the light. It’s about here that Vickie slaps Cena.

And I Quote: “Since Vickie Guerrero is threatening that her boyfriend, Dolph Ziggler, will beat people up, let’s try it in a match tonight. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena. And that match will take place right now.”

@KeepItFiveStar “If You Can’t See Me, GivE Me A Hell Yeah” If they can’t see you, how are they gonna know to give the hell yeah? Worst sign ever

@kickoutblog JOHN CENA IS BACK… from not leaving!

@HitTheRopes I’m wondering if Cena handled getting dumped the same way he handled being fired. #wwe

@Niki_Sushi All I want for Christmas is my Hunter back… is that too much to ask for?! Enough! GIMME A KILLER! #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Vickie, give it up, it’s only a 2 hour show! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Boy Jerry Lawler’s all over this RAW tonight

@kickoutblog Ziggler vs. Cena = good. Vickie fat jokes when she’s no longer fat = lame.

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF King is all “Why u mad tho!?” and Punk is facepalming at the table.

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs John Cena

Ziggler and Cena circle one another before locking up, and Ziggler wraps his arms around Cena and takes Cena down. Ziggler goes for an early pin, but Cena gets out before Ziggler can even keep his shoulders down. Cena and Ziggler lock up again, and Cena gets Ziggler in a headlock, but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Cena backs off and watches Ziggler. Ziggler holds his hand up and Cena goes to grab it, but Ziggler kicks him in the stomach and then attacks Cena in the corner. Ziggler keeps his momentum, whipping Cena across the ring, but Cena counters and then hits the running bulldog on Ziggler, who rolls under the ropes. Cena catches Ziggler’s foot that time, kicking Ziggler before hitting a fisherman suplex and going for the cover. Ziggler kicks out, but Cena flings him across the ring, only to run right into the turnbuckle himself. Ziggler gets up and attacks Cena. Ziggler whips Cena across the ring, and Cena bounces off the turnbuckle. Ziggler goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Ziggler then this some hard kicks out Cena before punching him right in the face. He does it again, knocking Cena down, and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Ziggler kicks Cena hard, but Cena drops Ziggler. Cena goes for a cover, but Ziggler kicks out at two. Cena whips Ziggler, who bounces off the ropes and kicks Cena before going for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler locks in a hold of some kind, but Cena fights to his feet. Cena then worms his way up and puts Ziggler up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ziggler counters by dropping Cena face-first to the mat and then going for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh boy Dolph Ziggler is gonna job out like the guards did to Austin Power’s Dad in Goldmember.

@CMPunkSays If the #WWE ran Twitter, the Fail Whale would be replaced by the Failure Turtle.

@Niki_Sushi WWE made a bad move by having their money-maker act like a 10 year old bully. The guys may love it, but Mom’s gonna be pissed. #BWF #RAW

We come back to Cena gaining momentum, side slamming Ziggler to the mat. Ziggler and Cena then take each other out with clotheslines. The ref begins the count, and both men reach their feet, Ziggler first. Ziggler then drops Cena back to the ground, going for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler hits a dropkick to the jaw and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler went for another dropkick, but Cena avoids it. Cena then comes back with a couple shoulder take downs and sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, which he hits. Ziggler gets to his feet, and Cena gets Ziggler on his shoulders. Ziggler fights out and then tries for the sleeper, but Cena counters and locks in the STF. Vickie stands on the edge, distracting the ref, as Ziggler taps out. Cena starts to celebrate when he realizes that the ref never saw it. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, but Cena kicks out of the following cover at two. Ziggler then undoes the cover on the turnbuckle, and the ref gets him away from it. Ziggler grabs the Intercontinental Championship and goes to hit Cena with it, but Cena ducks it and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the win.

John Cena wins via pinfall.

Cena gets his arm raised in victory, and then CM Punk gets in the ring and beats Cena with a chair. Punk then calmly walks away as Cena stands up and glares after Punk.

Coming up, the six man tag team match.

@KeepItFiveStar C’mon Ziggler! First you do the Fame-asser, then you do a cocky pin?

@TKeep123 Poor Dolph…having to defend Vickie’s honor! Could be a long night! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi On the off-chance Nexus IS gone, I hope people realize the members still have contracts… #BWF #RAW

@FrankWWEClown I’M MARKING OUT. I’M MARKING OUT. I’m a Cena fan, but I can’t stop marking out!!! My hometown boy @CMPunk just made a statement! #WWE

@dasharpshooters Never mess with a man and his Diet Soda Cena. CM PUNK IS BACK IN ACTION! #wwe #raw

@StrikerSays I’m expecting him to turn green and lose all his clothes except for his purple shorts.

@HitTheRopes CM Punk has just made a bunch of folks happy and even more pissed off. #WIN

@ThingsColeSays The Feud That Diet Soda Built: CM Punk vs. John Cena

@kickoutblog Kick my cat, I kill your dog. Spill my diet soda, I hit you with a steel chair. #PhilosophyofPunk

Moments ago, Josh Matthews asked CM Punk why he attacked Cena. Punk responded with the only thing Cena understands is aggression. Last night, he brutalized Barrett with a steel chair, and tonight, Punk just gave him a dose of his own medicine.

Backstage, King’s getting ready for his match and is met by Sheamus. Sheamus says that he sees King still carries around his old crown. Unlike King, Sheamus earned his crown. As far as Sheamus is concerned, there’s only room for one king around here. They’ve been calling King King since 1974. Sheamus says to spare him the history lesson, because as far as tonight is concerned, the King is dead. Long live the King.

Vickie says that she went out there looking for an apology, and Dolph didn’t get her one. Dolph responds that he’s challenging Cena to a rematch tomorrow night. Vickie says that it’s going to be a handicapped match: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler and her.

AWESOME!

Alex Riley and the WWE Champion The Miz make their way to the ring for their tag team match.

@Niki_Sushi For all that talk about keeping yourself healthy… why isn’t CM Punk wearing a seat belt? #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Vickie is gonna kick Cena’s ass.

@KeepItFiveStar Dolph, last time you did this, Daniel Bryan beat you three times.

@TKeep123 “FELLA” in Lawler’s face…. “…I actually eRRRRNed this crown!” King vs King tonight! Hey, wheres the King of Kings? #WWE #RAW #BWF

WWE Champion The Miz, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus vs John Morrison, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Randy Orton

The match starts out with Alex Riley and Randy Orton. Orton doesn’t seem happy that Miz tagged in Riley right away, and he takes his rage out on Riley. Orton drags Riley into the middle of the ring and jumps on him, his knees hitting his face. Orton tags in Morrison, who hits Riley and sends him into the corner. Morrison whips him into the other corner and then slams into him. Riley is in Morrison’s corner, but tries to fight out. Lawler is tagged in and fights against Riley before hitting a dropkick on Riley. Riley fights back, slamming Lawler into his corner. Riley tags Miz in and Lawler knocks Miz right off his feet. Lawler tags in Orton, and Miz flees the ring, running in and tagging Sheamus in. Sheamus looks like he’s not completely sure what the hell just happened, but climbs in the ring anyway.

@kickoutblog Miz should be using The Roots version of his theme.

@Niki_Sushi Yes, Miz is awesome. Just because you’re screaming it into the mic doesn’t mean he’s going to be waiting in your hotel room, Cole. #BWF #RAW

@CMPunkSays You know what’s sad? Alex Riley has gained more notoriety than the guy who actually WON Season 2 of NXT.

@TKeep123 One last time to see Jerry “drop the strap”……. I”m hopeful! #RAW #WWE #BWF

We come back to Lawler being the one in the ring against Sheamus. Sheamus distracts the ref and Riley gets in a cheap shot. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Lawler kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Lawler in an armbar, I believe, and holds him there. Lawler fights to his feet and is met with a knee to this midsection by Sheamus. Sheamus runs at Lawler, who moves last second and sends Sheamus shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Morrison comes in off the tag, and starts to get a good momentum, but seems to hurt his already-injured leg and Sheamus tries to take advantage. Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to set up Starship Pain, but Riley distracts him. He gets up to do it again, but Sheamus knocks him down, bouncing his head off the mat. Miz comes in off the tag from Sheamus and immediately attacks the injured leg of Morrison. He slams Morrison down on his knee, tagging Sheamus back in. Sheamus locks himself around Morrison’s leg, applying pressure, before planting his knees into Morrison’s. Morrison manages to swing Sheamus around, and Sheamus tags in Riley, who prevents Morrison from reaching his teammates. Riley continues to go after the injured leg, slamming it against the mat. Riley gets Morrison in the corner and delivers some hard hits. Riley tries to get Morrison into his corner and finally gets him off the rope to do so. Riley tags in Miz, who continues on the injured leg. Miz goes to jump on Morrison’s leg again, but Morrison kicks Miz out of the ring. Miz runs back in and stops Morrison before he can tag in a teammate. Miz tags in Sheamus, who goes right back to the injured leg. Sheamus delivers hard forearms to Morrison’s chest before going to the cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Morrison in a hold using his leg, but Morrison uses his good leg to get out of it. Sheamus is having none of it, however, and drops his elbow onto Morrison’s spine. Sheamus mocks Morrison as he reaches for his teammates before dropping Morrison to the mat.

Breaking up that huge wall of text, Sheamus gets Morrison in a half Boston crab, and Morrison tries to drag Sheamus to his corner. Lawler distracts the ref, and Orton runs in, hitting Sheamus to get him to let go of Morrison. Sheamus recovers quickly, however, and attacks Morrison. Sheamus tags in Miz, and Miz misses at stopping Morrison, and Morrison tags in Orton. Orton this a quick flurry of attacks before hitting the scoop slam. Then, he pulls Miz into the ring and this the DDT. He goes for a cover, but Sheamus comes in and breaks up the pin. Morrison takes Sheamus out over the top rope, and Orton drops to his knees. Miz has his back to Orton, but Riley comes in, taking the RKO meant for Miz. Miz puts his boot in Orton’s face, and Orton is tagged by Lawler. Lawler takes down the strap, and Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton comes in and hits the RKO, leaving Lawler to pin The Miz.

Randy Orton, John Morrison, and Jerry “The King” Lawler win via pinfall.

And I Quote: “The television show, Smackdown, will be live tomorrow night at 9/8 central here on the USA Network from San Antonio, Texas. In addition to all the Smackdown superstars, RAW’s contribution will be a handicapped match. As we heard earlier tonight, it’ll be Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero vs John Cena. Also, just added to tomorrow night’s event, the WWE Champion, The Miz, will take on Randy Orton, live on Smackdown.”

Miz comes in and attacks Lawler from behind. Orton goes to set Miz up for the powerbomb, but Riley interferes and Miz flees again. Randy flat out calls Miz a son of a bitch, by the way. I heard it clear just now.

Anywho. Next Monday, I may not be watching RAW. My brother, who has been in the Army for the past few months, is going to be here for Christmas, so I may be spending time with him. I should be able to let you know by Monday.

Don’t forget to vote for the RAW Tweeter of the Year!!! I’ll see you all later!!

RAW 11.8.10

November 8, 2010 11:19 pm 1 Comment

Hello everyone, and welcome to another exciting RAW review!! Tickets for Wrestlemania 27, as well as the birthdays of both ThinkSoJoE and randomredhead are in only five days!! Let’s just say that’s a really good birthday idea… And there’s my random plug. So, what is it that’s going to happen this week? More John Cena and Nexus drama, of course, but what else? Will Daniel Bryan make someone else tap out? Will Cole finally shut up? Who knows?!

Tonight, the Divas are having a Six-Diva Tag Team match they’re calling the Diva Cup, and Wade Barrett is comin’ home!! What kind of a homecoming celebration will he get??

John Cena is in the middle of the ring, representing Nexus, and has a giant scroll. Old style scroll. Pretty neat lookin, actually. H reads that it is his distinct honor to introduce us to the man who has promised and delivered the winds of change. The leader of the most devastating, dominant, and revolutionary force to step foot in the WWE known as the Nexus. At Survivor Series, he will be your WWE Champion. Please welcome, making his long-awaited, triumphant return home to Manchester, England, Wade Barrett.

We walk alone, through the unknown…

Huh. Josh Matthews is taking over for Jerry Lawler tonight, but Cole’s still there. Damn it.

Nexus is in the ring, and Barrett thanks Cena for his outstanding introduction, that he wrote. Barrett says that the prodigal son has returned, and they cheer. Go England. Barrett says that there’s no better way to celebrate his upcoming championship reign than to have a preview of the celebration tonight. Tonight, there’s going to be a big party, and all of Manchester is invited. Before the Nexus hoists Barrett victoriously above their shoulders, there is business that he needs to take care of. Barrett says there were a couple issues that occurred last week that he needs to look into.

Barrett tells Otunga to step forward. He says next time Otunga undermines his authority, to take Nexus to Smackdown without his permission, make sure he’s successful. He orders Otunga back in line, and says he’ll deal with him later. Right now, he wants to deal with Cena.

Last week, Cena had the opportunity on RAW to showcase what he would do at Survivor Series during Barrett’s match with Orton. Instead, he missed the tag and ended up declaring Orton and Truth the winners.

Barrett tells Cena to explain himself. Cena says that it all started as a joke, and mentions all the stuff that happened when he was wrapping. Barrett says that he was talking about that match and asks what happened. Cena says they lost. Barrett warns Cena not to test him and says that Cena’s lucky he’s in his home town, and no one will ruin his celebration. The simple fact is, Cena is either free of Nexus or fired. Cena either raises Barrett’s hand and awards him the WWE title, or Barrett flushes his entire WWE career down the toilet. Cena says he’s glad Barrett’s home, glad his countrymen embrace him, and he hopes that Barrett remembers what he said last week: After that match is over, he’s going to give Barrett and anyone who interferes, the beating of a lifetime. Barrett says Cena’s cute, and he holds Cena’s destiny in his hand, but at Survivor Series, Cena’s going to do what Barrett tells him to, but now they need to practice what will happen after the match at Survivor Series. He wants Cena to tell the world that Wade Barrett is the new WWE Champion. Cena says he hasn’t won anything yet, and Barrett says it’s a practice. Cena says whatever.

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton comes out and stays on the stage, looking at Nexus. He says last time he checked, he was still WWE Champion. It’s true Wade has Cena under his thumb, but Barrett is fighting Orton, not Cena, and he doesn’t doubt that he can beat Barrett regardless of the referee. Orton doesn’t care if Cena is free or fired, but he is going to make sure Orton will never have the WWE Champion. Barrett says that last time he checked, he had an army standing behind him at his beck and call, and he doesn’t recall Orton having anyone behind him.

And I quote: “Wade Barrett’s championship celebration preview has been officially cancelled. Also, to insure that there is a decisive victor, the WWE title match must be won by pinfall or submission only. Furthermore, I am officially announcing that the remaining members of Nexus will be banned from ringside. But Wade, that’s at Survivor Series. As for tonight, since Wade Barrett has an army behind him, Randy Orton is going to have one as well. Team Barrett, comprised of Nexus, will take on Team Orton, in a ten man tag team match. I, the General Manager, will personally choose the members of Orton’s team later, but I do know this: the special guest referee for this match will be John Cena.”

Cena knocks over the Nexus podium, and then shoves Otunga as he walks up. Cena then walks out of the ring.

The Diva’s Cup tag match is next!

@CawCawBang and i quote shut your dirty pie hole!

@KickStunner Orton comin out like “I’M IN THIS STORY LINE TOO YOU KNOW!”

@TKeep123 Wade Barrett ain’t happy! <G> Cena’s doing stand-up comedy and Otunga is changing has drawers. #RAW #WWE #BWF

@thinksojoe Cena is gold in this promo #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar LOL that was funny. I gotta admit it, Cena

@kickoutblog Nexus has their own calligraphy? Classy!

Diva’s Cup: Eve Torres, Nikki, and Brie Bella vs. Maryse, Tamina, and Alicia Fox

Eve and Tamina start out, and Tamina shoves Tamina back in the corner. She then kicks her hard in the stomach, but eve gets out of the corner and gets Tamina in there, hitting some hard kicks on Tamina before Irish Whipping her, only to get it countered, and then dropped by Tamina with a Samoan drop, going for a cover for Eve to kick out. Tamina tags in Maryse, who goes for a cover only for Eve to kick out. Maryse shoves Eve around the ring a little before taunting the Bellas and holding Eve in a headlock before shoving her down and doing it again. Eve gets up to her feet, and fights out, hitting a kick to Maryse’s head. Eve and Maryse tag in Alicia and Brie, according to the other Twin, and Alicia starts to hit something, but Brie counters for the pin, does something, then goes for another pin. Tamina breaks it up, Eve chases her down, Maryse gets in, Nikki gets chased out of the ring by the ref, and then Maryse hits the French Kiss on Brie. Nikki runs in and switches places, and then pins Alicia.

Eve Torres and the Bella Twins win via pinfall.

Nexus is backstage, and Otunga says that Cena tried to punk them. Barrett walks up and interrupts his pep talk, and Otunga says that he was just telling everyone that they need to step it up. Barrett says that Otunga won’t be a part of Team Barrett, but put in a singles match against Cena. Barrett says that he wants Otunga to give it everything, and he’ll tell Cena the exact same thing. Nexus then walks away, leaving Otunga alone.

@Niki_Sushi Got talent? The only thing the Bellas have is a professional job as escorts.

@KeepItFiveStar I hate “Twin Magic”

@CawCawBang maryse whip her hair back and forth

@TKeep123 Diva Match…the white shorts look like diapers! #RAW #WWE

The Hart Dynasty, Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith with Natalya vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso

Smith and one of the Usos is in right now, Jimmy, and Smith gets a big advantage , knocking Jey out, then Jimmy right after. Smith tags Kidd in, and Kidd jumps over the ring, hitting a hurricanrana on one of the Usos. Kidd then throws the other one into the ring, missing an elbow drop. The Uso in the ring shoves Kidd into the corner, and the other one is tagged in. I can’t tell the different, could you tell? Usos get the advantage, then tag in. Smith looks like he’s about to walk out, and then the Usos go for another tag on Kidd, who kicks out. Apparently Jey has a tattoo on his chest and Jimmy doesn’t. Whichever one is in the ring keeps, Kidd over, but misses a drop on Jimmy, who is in the ring. Jimmy tags in Jey, while Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who decided to stay. Smith hits a belly-to-belly, and goes for a cover, only for Jey to kick out. Smith hits the running bulldog, but Jimmy breaks up the pin. Kidd slides between the ropes to attack Jimmy, who dishes back some pain, and then Smith has to get Jimmy off the apron. Jey hits the splash on Smith and pins him for the win.

Jimmy and Jey Uso win via pinfall.

Am I the only one who started singing Mark Henry’s theme when the Uso theme hit?

Coming up, Tea Time With Santino, featuring Sheamus. This is amazing. Also coming up, David Otunga will take on John Cena.

@KeepItFiveStar If only every wrestler called their name out before they did stuff like the Usos “MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!” *Splash*

@kickoutblog The Usos? The guys who almost killed The Hart Dynasty’s career are back to finish the job once and for all?

@thinksojoe The Usos totally ripped off the Godsmack logo #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Goddamn. Uso’s should get a bigger crowd reaction. They have fucking SKILL, bitches.

@TKeep123 TEA with SANTINO !!!!! “Business is about to pick up!” A little Earl Gray for Sheamus? #RAW #WWE

Next week, WWE goes Old School on RAW, and it starts at 8 PM!! I’ll do my best to be here, so so should you!

Matt Striker is backstage and asks Orton who he thinks the GM will pick as his partners. Orton says he has no idea and he has to care who his partners are. His teams had better be the best of the best.

The Miz interrupts and says that he just heard from the GM, so he can tell Orton that one member of his team is him. Orton doesn’t need to worry about getting the best, because right now his team is awesome.

Slater and Gabriel are looking at their belts, Harris and McGuillicutty are talking, and Otunga comes back. No one says anything, and Otunga says that he meant Cena, not them. Otunga says that he’ll show them how a leader handles stuff, and that they should all be out there, since they’re a team. Gabriel asks if Barrett knows, and Otunga says that they shouldn’t need to ask, and they’re either Nexus or against us, and he’ll see them out there. They don’t agree.

@TKeep123 Otunga soundin ‘mighty white’ in that last scene……like Beaver Cleaver. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@thinksojoe If they don’t break out either the old RAW letters set or the neon set next week, I will be severely disappointed. #BWF

@kickoutblog I find Nexus’ race relations to be a bit shady. I’m onto you, and I’m not fooled by the one hillbilly you kicked out of the group either!

Goldust comes out, looking pretty pissed off. Poor guy. I like Goldust.

Goldust vs. Ted DiBiase with Maryse

Goldust painted tears on his face tonight.

Ted and Goldust start out busy, DiBiase getting an advantage, only to get thrown by Goldust. Goldust clotheslines him out of the ring, and DiBiase climbs back in, bouncing off the ropes, and right into an inverted atomic drop. DiBiase goes to town beating on Goldust’s head, throwing Goldust around the ring. DiBiase goes for a cover, but Goldust kicks out. Another cover, but Goldust kicks out again. DiBiase keeps putting pressure on Goldust’s head, but Goldust fights back, and DiBiase goes for a cover, but Goldust kicks out. DiBiase tells Maryse to go get the Million Dollar Championship, and she does. Goldust fights back, hitting an uppercut, then the running bulldog and into a cover. DiBiase kicks out at two, and Goldust throws Ted, who counters, and then DiBiase gets hit by a scoop slam. Aksana comes down to the ring, and tries to take the belt, slapping Maryse and then running away with the belt. Goldust steals a pin and starts to follow Aksana, then does follow her up the ramp.

Goldust wins via pinfall.

@KeepItFiveStar As much as I like Maryse’s heels, shes rockin some sexy boots. #allblackeverything

@Niki_Sushi Maryse looks fucking amazing, as always. #BWF #RAW

@CawCawBang nah the reason she isn’t coming near the commentary desk is because you’re a female replete cole

@kickoutblog Seriously, Michael Cole is beyond unbearable.

BRRRRRRRR SHUFFLE POO!!

John Cena vs David Otunga

Well then. Otunga makes his way out to the ring, and Nexus actually makes their way down the ramp. I am a little shocked to see them out. I thought they’d just ditch them, but surprise!

Oh. Look at that. Now they’re leaving. I so knew it.

Otunga takes off up the ramp, and Cena chases him down, knocking him down and then throwing him into the car on the stage. Cena then literally runs Otunga back down to the ring, right inside. Cena hits Otunga with a clothesline, and hits what I think was a gut wrench power bomb. Swagger’s throwing a tantrum on Smackdown right now. Anyway, Cena keeps an advantage over Otunga, hitting his new favorite move, the standing dropkick on Otunga, before slamming his face in the turnbuckle. Cena then whips Otunga across the ring, but Otunga moves before he can get hit. Otunga takes advantage, hitting Cena repeatedly. Otunga goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. The crowd is screwing with me, but, whatever. Otunga is beating the shit out of Cena, and then hits an elbow drop before going for a cover. Cena kicks out. Otunga steps on Cena, then misses another elbow, and Cena fights back, hitting the shoulder blocks, then setting up the Five Knuckle Shuffle.. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, but doesn’t go for the cover yet. He grabs him and puts him in the STF.

John Cena wins via submission.

@ThingsColeSays Holy crap, I think Mark Henry could beat David Otunga in a foot race after seeing that.

Otunga’s in the back, icing his neck, when Barrett walks up. Barrett says last week, he got pinned in their tag team match, and then he decided to take Nexus to Smackdown, and got pinned again. And tonight, in Barrett’s home town, Otunga embarrassed him. Barrett’s giving Otunga a chance to redeem himself: Take Nexus back to Smackdown and have a match with Edge. If Otunga doesn’t beat Edge, he’s done.

Holy shit. Santino and Vladimir Kozlov, dressed like English gentlemen, walk out. Santino says that he and Kozlov like to blend in. They were excited to come to the UK, and they watched the Bond movies, Austin Powers, Mr. Bean, and a bunch of others. They think they know everything about the culture now. He says that every time he crosses the roads he almost gets killed, and he asks everyone to drive on the other side just for him.

Santino says that he wants to make peace with Sheamus. He was angry, so they’re going to have an old-style classic tea party, and everything will be okay.

Sheamus walks down to the ring, looking rather unimpressed. Santino says hi and then shakes Sheamus’ hand, who doesn’t know proper hand-shaking etiquette, because he holds on too long. They all sit down, and Santino says they got off on the wrong foot, and they want to be on the right foot. Santino says that they have something, and ginger tea, which he apologizes for, and an autographed picture of Mr. T. Sheamus says that he thinks he got Santino all wrong: he’s not bad, just misunderstood. Sheamus knew a guy back home in Ireland who only had one friend, and just like Santino, his friend was a donkey. Everyone in the town called him the village idiot. Santino mistakes it to be the donkey called the village idiot. Santino says it’s time for tea, and asks Sheamus if he takes his tea dark or milky. And apologizes for that, saying that he’s not trying to be smart, and he’s not referring to the fact that Sheamus has no pigmentation. And asks them not to make him angry, because Santino doesn’t like it when he’s angry. Santino says that Sheamus has rage inside him, and it’s either because he’s been over exposed to gamma rays, or when he was growing up, he was excluded from activities with other kids because he’s a ginger.

Santino says that they’re generous, but they aren’t helping. Santino says he won’t exclude Sheamus from activities, and he won’t treat Sheamus like a ghost – Ooh… Sheamus says Santino’s a funny person, and Santino had him laughing so hard he forgot why he hated him in the first place. Santino says that he can’t remember why Sheamus hates him either. Kozlov helpfully points out that Sheamus hates him because he beat him. Kozlov keeps pointing it out, and Sheamus isn’t happy anymore. Kozlov thinks it’s funny anyway.

Santino says that he doesn’t like the way Sheamus is looking at him, and pours Sheamus more tea, with a shaky hand, then all over his lap. Santino says that he’s sorry, and Sheamus flips the table.

“The time for tea and crumpets has come to an end. It’s now time for action. Clear the ring, and clear Vladimir Kozlov from ringside as well, because Santino Marella is going one on one with Sheamus.”

@Niki_Sushi Kozlov… you’re going to get Santino killed. And he won’t have a clue why. #BWF #RAW

@FrankWWEClown A Kozlov chant. Only in the United Kingdom, indeed. I love it. #WWE #RAW

@thinksojoe Gingers have no souls! #BWF

@Niki_Sushi THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING! He’s the red-headed stepchild! #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef Shea-Moose looks like he’s trying so hard not to laugh xD #WWE

@RingsideRants Kozlov has already shown more personality than ever before… and he hasn’t even talked yet.

@TKeep123 Loving Koslov right now! “Biggest upset in Duble, duble E History…..EVER!” #WWE #RAW #BWF

Santino Marella vs Sheamus

Sheamus is still in the suit thing, and is trying to take the shirt off. Sheamus is looking at Santino like he’s a tard, and Santino ducks under the rope, shrieking like a woman. Higher than me, and I’m a soprano. Santino rolls out of the ring and then starts to get back in, but Sheamus distracts the ref. Santino runs into the crowd, and Sheamus starts to follow him. Sheamus says he wants Santino in the ring.

“Santino Marella, you have two choices. Get back in the ring and compete, or be immediately suspended.”

Santino asks, right now? And Sheamus motions for Santino to get into the ring. Santino riles himself up and climbs into the ring. He starts to go for the Cobra, but Sheamus knocks him on his back and stomps him. You can hear Santino go ‘ow’ every time he’s hit too. Santino continuously crawls for the ropes, but Sheamus tugs him to the middle of the ring. Sheamus looks unimpressed at Santino’s begging, and Santino hits a low blow on Sheamus and gets disqualified. Santino considers it a victory.

Sheamus wins via disqualification.

Sheamus gets up and hits the Brogue Kick on Santino. Sheamus then proceeds to destroy Santino. Sheamus gets Santino up, but Morrison runs into the ring and fights against Sheamus, hitting the flash kick on Sheamus and knocking him out of the ring. Morrison drags Santino to the other side of the ring.

Cena’s standing backstage, looking at the promo for Wrestlemania XXVII. Barrett joined him during the little commercial. Barrett comments on Wrestlemania, and tells Cena to imagine never being able to experience that again. In two weeks, all Cena has to do is raise Barrett’s hand and name him the WWE Champion, and he can experience Wrestlemania all he wants. Then, the Nexus will be nothing but a distant memory. Tonight, Cena needs to do it right, or his career will be nothing but a distant memory.

@Niki_Sushi Oooh… Santino, you fight dirty. You just opened the doors for Sheamus to rip your balls off. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Fear The (Below the Belt) Cobra!!!! Santino! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar John Morrison should interfere in a hat and tux also. But somehow John Morrison is gonna Parkour his way into this match shirtless.

@kickoutblog Ever notice whenever someone says “do the right thing” in wrestling, it’s always the wrong thing?

I hear voices…

WWE Champion Randy Orton, The Miz, R-Truth, Daniel Bryan, and Mark Henry vs Wade Barrett, WWE Tag Team Champions Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel, Husky Harris, and Michael McGuillicutty

I warn you all now. I can’t keep up with matches with more than six people, apparently, so this isn’t going to be the best review of the match. Besides, the good stuff doesn’t happen until the match is over anyway.

@Niki_Sushi I totally squee’gasmed over baby Cody and Ted. Hell, over all of it. That’s fuckin tradition. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 OK, I admit it, those private home photos of the legends rocked my boat. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Why are Mark Henry and Orton boys. Remember when Henry destroyed him and turned face?

@HitTheRopes Can we blow R-Truth up again, please? #wwe

I can tell you that Bryan and Gabriel start. So far, I’m doing good! And I missed whatever it was Bryan did, but Gabriel ducks under Bryan and tags in McGuillicutty. Bryan gets an advantage, and Miz tags himself in, hitting McGuillicutty from behind. Miz gets him in the corner, and Cena pulls Miz off of him. Hear the Miz is Awesome chants? I love it. Miz went for a cover, but McGuillicutty kicked out. Miz tags in Orton. Orton proceeds to beat McGuillicutty more, telling Barrett to come in. Instead, he tells Slater to get in. Orton toys with Slater, tagging in Truth. Truth beats Slater in the corner and then Irish Whips him, countering a counter-Whip, and then does his fancy shit to avoid getting hit. Truth goes for a cover, but Gabriel breaks it up, and then everyone runs in the ring. Team Orton clears the ring of Nexus, and Otunga makes his way out, walking down the ramp.

@kickoutblog I think I figured out what pisses me off about Cole. Ever since his “turn,” it feels like he’s stopped taking his job seriously.

@KeepItFiveStar Did Orton just flex on Heath Slater to make him fall?

@TKeep123 R Truth in the UK: “I say, what is Up?” #WWE #RAW #BWF

@WWEsAngel_Nef I never thought I’d live to see the day when George Bush and Santino Marella would be dueling trending topics worldwide on twitter #WWE #BWF

Order has been restored, and it’s Truth and Gabriel in the ring. Otunga’s standing ringside, in front of the announce table. Truth is just smacking the shit out of Gabriel, who flips over him and takes him down, going for a cover, and Truth kicks out. Gabriel tags in Harris, and I die a little inside. Truth fights Harris, Irish Whipping him, only for Harris to counter, and Henry is tagged in. Harris delvers some blows to Henry, who knocks him on his ass. Henry then lifts Harris and slams him down. Mark Henry then goes to hit something, but misses. Harris then flings himself into Harris, and tags in McGuillicutty who is taken down by Henry. Henry tags in Bryan. Bryan delivers a series of hard kicks, getting whipped into the corner, but running up the ropes. Bryan’s really giving it to McGuillicutty, but can’t put him away. McGuillicutty comes back, and Harris tags in, after Bryan tries to hit the LaBell Lock. Harris knocks him out and beats him up for a bit. Harris has Bryan by the Nexus corner and Barrett tags in.

Bryan kicks out of a cover (just letting your eyes rest a bit). Barrett dominates Bryan, going for another cover, only for Bryan to kick out. Bryan fights to his feet, and Barrett plants Bryan, ending his quick defense. Bryan kicks out at two from the cover, and Barrett tags in Gabriel, who tags in Harris, who tags in Slater. Slater misses a run and this the corner instead. Both men are down, and Slater knocks Miz off the rope, only for Bryan to clothesline him. Both men struggle to make a tag, and Bryan tags in Orton and Slater tags in Barrett. Orton plants Barrett with s coop slam, and then hits the DDT off the ropes. Orton gets down and pounds on the mat, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Nexus doesn’t come in. Barrett lifts Orton, who fights out, and then delivers a back breaker to Barrett. McGuillicutty comes in, breaks it up, and Truth plants him to the ground. Gabriel comes in and hits a super kick, Henry, hits the World’s Strongest Slam on him, then Slater and Harris come in and throw him off the ring, and then Bryan dropkicks both of them out of the ring. Orton and Barrett get to their feet. Barrett tries the Wasteland, Orton hits a back breaker. Otunga manages to get Cena’s attention, and Riley attacks Orton with the briefcase, only for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Orton. Barrett pins for the win.

Team Barrett wins via pinfall.

Well, the Miz betrayal wasn’t expected, but it does provide an interesting question. Will he try to cash in after Survivor Series? What’ll happen to him next week? I’ll see you then.

RAW 11.1.10

November 1, 2010 11:24 pm 2 Comments

Hello ladies and gentlemen! The RAW Review is back this week, just as it was last week, and I’m frazzled. I decided to take on the challenge that is National Novel Writing Month, but I’ll suck that up quietly in peace and not bring it to RAW. Anyway, I’ve tucked away all the stuff for that for now, and I am focused on RAW! Just a side note, however, I am going to be missing the November 22nd edition of RAW, for I will be there LIVE when they come to Orlando!! So I may get a late review up on the 23rd or something like that depending on how tired I am. We’ll see how that goes, but why am I jumping ahead!? I have to get through tonight!!

However, before we begin, our very own ThinkSoJoE and Random Redhead’s birthdays are on the same day as Wrestlemania 27 tickets… Just an idea… 😉 There’s your plug, sweetie.

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

We start out RAW first thing with Randy Orton making his way onto the stage and into the ring. He says that he doesn’t think there’s a man alive who could take the title from him, but if someone did, he would accept it, but he couldn’t accept it if he lost it because of a crooked referee. Especially if that crooked ref just so happened to be John Cena. So, he’d like to ask Cena to come out to the ring because if he’s gonna screw Orton over at Survivor Series, the least he could do is be man enough to say it to his face.

BRRRRRRRRRR SLAM THAT DOOR!

Cena walks out and says that he will say something to Orton’s face: cut him some slack. He knows Randy is the WWE Champion, he’s been there before, they both have. Orton’s smart enough to know that championships are won and lost, they come they go, and he has a decision to make at Survivor Series. If Barrett beats Cena at Survivor Series, he’s finally out of Nexus, but if Orton wins, Cena’s fired. And he has to be the guest referee. Cena says that if there’s a situation, if something happens, he doesn’t … He asks if he sees all that chaos on unrest, but he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He’s either free or fired. Orton says that he sees that, and it’s Cena’s bleeding heart way of saying that he is gonna screw Orton over at Survivor Series. Cena denies it, but Orton says that if he does screw Orton over, then he keeps his job, but he’ll be the biggest phony in the WWE. And don’t bother coming out talking about Hustle, Loyalty, Respect, especially respect, because he’s obeying Barrett and disrespecting every champion, including himself. Then, Orton tells him to get out of his ring, because Cena doesn’t deserve to be in it. Orton then apologizes and says that Cena can’t get out of the ring without asking his master for permission. Cena says that they both worked hard to get there, and that Nexus runs the show while Cena gets coffee. Cena says that Barrett may have enough skill to compete for the WWE Championship, but he’s classless, and Barrett’s the one who doesn’t know about respect.

We walk alone, through the unknown…

Nexus – now with their new members McGuillicutty and Harris, make their way onto the stage. Barrett thanks Cena for his kind words, and he gives Cena permission to say whatever he wants about Barrett because actions will speak louder than words, and when push comes to shove, Cena will do exactly what he’s told. And at Survivor Series, Cena will raise his hand as the new WWE Champion. Cena says that all he knows that in three weeks, it’s over. He’s either out of Nexus or, and Barrett says or he’s fired. Cena asks Orton if he can have a second with his boss. Cena says that in three weeks, this thing is coming to a head, and whether he leaves Nexus or leaves the WWE, he’ll leave Barrett a parting gift: when this is all over, Cena will beat the hell out of Barrett. Orton then says that he doesn’t have to wait until Survivor Series, and as far as Orton is concerned, Barrett’s a scared little child who needs to hide behind seven other guys, and he’ll beat on him until the only thing left for Cena to do is count to ten and declare Orton the victor. Barrett starts toward the ring.

“Randy Orton, as the WWE Champion, I feel for the position you’re in. You want to know what Cena is going to do, we all wanna know, so I think we should find out tonight. Later this evening, there will be a main event with Wade Barrett and a partner of his choice vs you, Randy, and a partner of your choosing. And the special guest referee is going to be John Cena.”

@CawCawBang Someone’s going to get their head punted in

@thinksojoe No, Michael Cole, you may NOT have my attention. #BWF #RAW

@Niki_Sushi So… was Cole reading the ‘e-mail’ off of Microsoft Word?

@Lunna1969 And I quote, shut the hell up Michael Cole!

We return to WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater in the ring.

WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater vs David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya

So, are these two actually going to split, or is this going to be teased the entire time? Curious… And I may be wrong. I don’t see Natalya.

Kidd and Slater start out, getting good momentum, but Kidd tags – see, punches – Smith in, and Smith dominates Slater. Smith hits the suplex on Slater, going for a cover, but Slater kicks out at two. Smith continues to dominate in the center of the ring, until Slater manages to get behind Smith and Gabriel tags himself in, getting a quick hit on Smith and taking advantage. Slater and Gabriel tag in and out, dominating Smith in their corner. Gabriel gets Smith in the middle of the ring in a headlock, and I see now that Natalya was not out here. Smith hits a scoop slam on Gabriel. Smith manages to get Kidd in, and Kidd gets a good advantage, hitting a neckbreaker before going for a cover, only for Slater to break it. Smith sends Slater flying outside of the ring, and Kidd takes advantage, dropkicking Gabriel out of the ring. Slater shoves Smith into Gabriel, sending Kidd flying into Smith. Slater then distracts Kidd, and Gabriel goes to the top rope and hits the 450 for the win.

WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater win via pinfall.

Smith yells at Kidd for a while, once again teasing the breakup.

Backstage, Cena’s standing there and Truth comes up. Truth says Cena got buck, confusing all of us, and then explains that Cena just stood up for himself. Truth then says when the moment of truth arrives, what is Cena gonna do? He says that he’s Cena’s friend, and Cena walks away.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh Hart Dynasty…ya dun goofed…again

@Niki_Sushi I was all pumped up to see Justin and Heath, but then a couple Harts came out and ruined it for me. Ah, dammit. #BWF #RAW

@seraphalexiel I wanna know when Truth and Cena got so chummy. Did anyone know they were friends before Cena became a slave?

@HitTheRopes Umm, that’s not what “getting bucked” means, R-Truth. #wwe

@kickoutblog I’d really like to see Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel lock up in the future.

The guest star tonight is PeeWee Herman. And just this song is driving me crazy.

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head, too many limes, too many limes!

Sheamus says that everyone expected him to come out and throw a tantrum over Santino’s loss last week, but Santino didn’t beat him, he beat himself. Santino, he’s given you a week to bask in the glory of his fluke victory, but now he’s gonna pay. So, fella, come out here and try that one more time. And come out Santino does, in street clothes. Santino says that first of all, he would just like to say that he respects Sheamus as a human being. In fact, he is a little bit of a fan of his. Actually, he went trick-or-treating dressed as Sheamus. The only problem is that everyone thought he was a ghost. Sheamus smirks a little. Santino says that it was quite irritating and no wonder Sheamus is so angry. Sheamus isn’t grinning anymore. Santino says last night he consumed too much candy, and bad things happen. So, unfortunately, the doctor said that if he wrestles against Sheamus, he’s going to accidentally throw up in Sheamus’ face. He doesn’t think that anyone wants to see that, but the crowd disagrees. Santino says that he did find Sheamus a suitable replacement.

Yeah, you’re a stoopid boy…

Vladimir comes out and says that Sheamus talks funny. Now, Vladimir crush him. HULK SMASH!

Sheamus vs Vladimir Kozlov

Vladimir gets a good start against Sheamus, getting an early advantage, but Sheamus fights back. Vladimir wastes no time in getting it back, and Santino plays cheerleader for Kozlov. Sheamus gets Kozlov in the corner and gets Kozlov in the middle of the ring, hitting a back breaker and going for a cover. Kozlov kicks out at two, and Sheamus uses some rather Orton-like knee drops to the skull. Kozlov then grabs Sheamus and head butts his chest, going for the cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Sheamus fights back and hits the Brogue kick for the win.

Sheamus wins via pinfall.

Sheamus then gets Santino’s hand under his boot and steps back, only for Santino to scurry out of the ring. Sheamus follows him, and Santino offers Sheamus candy in exchange for safety, then offers to give him money. Sheamus drops the money and continues to stalk Santino. Santino then offers him the credit card, and Sheamus chucks that too. Santino then offers to write Sheamus a check, but Sheamus shoves him backward, and then kicks his stomach. Sheamus lifts Santino, and gets ready to hit the Irish curse, only for Morrison to come to his rescue, kicking Sheamus in the stomach and head. Santino trumpets the fact that he’s okay, and Morrison watches him.

Truth walks up to Orton backstage and Truth says that he’s cool with Orton, but he and Cena are friends. Truth says that he doesn’t like what he saw, and he thinks that Cena’s already made up his mind. Truth says that Cena’s not going to let himself get fired, and he has a funny feeling that Cena’s gonna count Barrett victorious. Orton says that tonight, he’s going to make Truth his tag-team partner. Cena and Orton have never gotten along, but Orton wants to see how he treats his friends. Orton says that tonight, they’re going to find out that Cena doesn’t have any friends.

@seraphalexiel Obviously, Truth’s new gimmick is Danny Glover. More hood, less awards

@Niki_Sushi Its a shameful thing, lost my shorts! Too much sun, too much sun! #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes When the Hell did R-Truth become Dr. Phil of the Raw locker room? Stop being an instigator, Truth. #wwe

@ThingsColeSays Hey Truth, who is Wade Barriet?

@FrankWWEClown “Odds are I will eventually throw up…….IN YOUR FACE.” –Santino #WWE #RAW

@bethsharae I’m not entirely positive that R-Truth speaks the English language.

Mark Henry is on the phone with PeeWee and says that things aren’t the same since Evan got hurt, because he’s not just his tag partner, but his friend too. PeeWee says that he felt the same thing with a splinter, and I don’t know what he’s talking about. Henry turns around and says it’s a great story, but he still has to find a tag partner, which is why he’s there to see him. Herman says he’d be glad to be his tag partner. Henry says that Herman is just the man to give him a big hug, and Henry crushes him. Herman says that he knows what may cheer him up, and that’s Diva Twister. The Bellas, Melina, an Eve. Dear, God.

PeeWee says he’s taking some time off from his Broadway show – the PeeWee Herman show – for plenty of surprises, and Lita shows up!, joining them for Twister.

@HitTheRopes Thank gawd they introduced the Divas because this segment had *PAUSE* written all over it. #wwe

@kickoutblog Ya know, as much as I love Pee-Wee, it’s probably a really bad idea to play Twister with him. Just sayin.

OH, RADIO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!

Well, Joe, you got part of a Ryder entrance!! That counts, right?

Zack Ryder vs Ezekiel Jackson

Ryder gets a small advantage, and Jackson takes that away without even blinking. Big Zeke wins.

Ezekiel Jackson wins via pinfall.

The main event is going to be Orton and Truth against Barrett and Otunga with Cena as special guest ref!

@Niki_Sushi Zack Ryder, meet your new pimp. Be sure to shave your legs and wax your bikini line; clients don’t like that shit.

@kickoutblog Ow, Ow, Ow… you know it! #BigZekeWillBreakYou

… PeeWee came out… but now I’m terrified.

Tonight’s secret word is ring. Apparently, we’re supposed to do something. And King is too excited about this. Scream, of course. I must have erased that from my memory. And I totally did just put arrested… Freudian slip.

AWESOME!

Cole welcome us to Miz-ville, and I want to punch him. PeeWee’s making some kind of noise in the mic as Miz climbs into the ring.

Miz says he thought RAW losing at Bragging Rights was the lowest point of the show, but he was wrong. Miz doesn’t like PeeWee – though Riley does – and he always liked He-Man. PeeWee asks why he doesn’t marry He-Man. Miz tells him to get out of the ring, and everyone screams. Riley tells him not to say the secret word, and Miz says that he doesn’t care about the secret word, and he wants PeeWee out of his ring – cue screaming. Miz says that he’s not a cultural icon, just a pathetic excuse for a man. Miz and PeeWee proceed to fight like kindergartners, and Riley says he’ll handle it, but Riley gets in PeeWee’s face and Miz has to stop him. Miz asks if PeeWee is stupid, and says that he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Miz doesn’t care who PeeWee is, and asks if PeeWee wants him to beat him into a pulp, and PeeWee says that he’s shaking, and that PeeWee is starting to get angry. He’s a loner and a rebel. PeeWee says that they should not anger the P. He got his cousin backstage, and Miz mocks him a little bit. Miz says that’s so funny he forgot to laugh, and to bring his cousin and the whole Herman family, because he will destroy them all. PeeWee says that he’ll be out there to wipe the smirk off his face.

WELL, It’s a Big Show!

Show comes out in a PeeWee imitation suit, and I die a little inside. Show double clotheslines Miz and Riley out of the ring and picks PeeWee up. Pee Wee asks if they had a nice trip out of the ring.

“Miz, you’re not getting out of this so easy. You said you’d beat anyone in PeeWee’s family, well, tonight’s secret word is pain. Because you’re going to face PeeWee Herman’s cousin, the big PeeWee, next.”

@kickoutblog If Big Show does the Pee-wee Tequila dance, I might have to stop watching wrestling since nothing will ever top that.

@HitTheRopes Okay, who came in and changed the channel. I could have sworn I was tuning in to watch WRESTLING. #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Oh fuck me. This is…. this is horrifying. Even Miz looks embarrassed for Show.

@RingsideRants Jesus, I miss wrestling. #WWE #RIPWrestling

@KKonvictionCom Oh it’s Pee-Wee. Hide yo kids, hide you wives, hide your husbands…cuz he’s rapin errbody up in hurr.

The Miz vs The Big Pee Wee Show

Show dominates Miz, which just hurts my heart even more than- no, less than that last segment. Show Irish Whips Miz, who ducks out of the ring for a moment, climbing back in the ring. Show then returns to dominating Miz, which we all know is because of his movie (alright, alright, I’ll stop being a fangirl. xP), and steps down on Miz’s throat, though Miz comes back, ducking under a clothesline and getting some hits to Show’s knee. Show comes back with a hard hit to Miz, then flips him onto the ground and hits a hard elbow drop. Show goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz looks a little dizzy, but continues to kick at Show’s knee, alternating between his head and knee. Miz hits a dropkick on Show’s knee, finally getting him down to his knees. Miz then gets Show in a headlock, holding it there tight. Show stands up, but Miz holds on, paying for it as Show falls backwards. Miz and Show both make their way to their feet, Show regaining momentum. Show climbs up to the second rope, watching Riley, and then dropping backward, only for Miz to roll out of the way. Miz then goes for the cover, but Show throws him into the ref. Miz attacks Show while he’s down, kicking him in the face before hitting some hard hits and going up to the top rope, aiming to knock Show down again. Miz goes up again, dropping his knuckles on Show’s head, once, and then doing it again for a third time. He goes for the cover, but Show throws him off again. Miz gets Show in a headlock, holding on tight once again. Show struggles to get up to his feet, flipping Miz off him and then clotheslining Miz once, twice, and Irish Whipping Miz and then throwing him over his back. Show makes a train noise and then runs across the ring, getting Miz set up for the choke slam, but Riley distracts Show, who uses the briefcase and gets disqualified.

The Big Show wins via disqualification.

Backstage, Cena is talking to Barrett. Barrett says after Cena raises his hand in victory, he wants Cena to clean his locker room: Sweep, mop, and then scrub Barrett’s back. Cena looks over and sees Otunga. Otunga says that Cena won’t be scrubbing Barrett’s back, because he’ll be raising Otunga’s hand. Otunga has more talent than anyone in Nexus, and more than Cena. Yeah, okay, Otunga.

@KeepItFiveStar John Cena’s also gonna shave Wade Barrett’s back and Barrett will purr like a Walrus

@kickoutblog Pee-wee + Big Show + The Miz = wrestling gold

That may have been a commercial, but it made me grin. Remember, DiBiase has a personal vendetta against Goldust for stealing Daddy’s belt. Which means daddy’s more pissed off.

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Daniel Bryan

DiBiase starts to get an advantage, but Daniel eats his advantage with his feet. … I don’t know what that meant either. Anyway, Maryse walks over to Cole and says something, and Cole says that he’ll let us know. DiBiase tries to get the advantage away from Bryan, and does so after a hard fight. He gets Bryan in the middle of the ring, holding Bryan in a headlock. Maryse looks like she’s got something in mind, so keep an eye on her Bryan, and not a creepy one. Bryan attempts a LaBell lock in mid-air, but turns it into a cover, twice, and DiBiase kicks out both times. Alright, that staircase flip thing off the ropes was impressive. Bryan pounds the mat as he avoids DiBiase, getting pumped up, and then kicks DiBiase in the chest once, twice, three, four, five, six times. DiBiase counters a jump into a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. DiBiase gets behind Bryan and tries for Dream Street, but Bryan gets him in the LaBell Lock, and DiBiase taps.

Daniel Bryan wins via submission.

DiBiase freaks out on Maryse and says that he can’t concentrate and he needs his title back.

@kickoutblog KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! #LeBellLock

@TheWWETweeter AHAHAH!! David Otunga just said he’s the most talented guy in @TheNexusWWE!! That was hilarious!! ..Oh wait.. He wasn’t kidding..? #WWE #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar #umad Ted. Its Daniel Bryan, there’s nothing you can do

Damn it. LayCool is here. I mean… No, that’s what I meant.

McCool says that she feels that LayCool got off on the wrong foot with everyone and she doesn’t care. They apologize for hurting the WWE Universe. They just need a fresh start, and the more they give, the more people take it the wrong way. Natalya, for example, is what they call special. She’s Canadian, and they’re going to be nice. They say that they’re going to give Natalya another chance at Survivor Series if she beats McCool tonight, but she won’t do that because they’re the best there was, is, and ever will be.

Diva’s Champion Michelle McCool vs Natalya

I really thought Cole was going to say it was time for the most exciting sixty seconds of RAW. I was going to cry a little as I laughed myself to death. Anyway, Natalya gets a pretty good start, but McCool yanks it away from her and beats the shit out of her for a while. Just when it looks like Natalya can’t get back in it, Natalya steals an advantage back and throws McCool into Layla, then moves out of the way so that McCool kicks Layla, and then sneaks a pin in there for the victory.

Natalya wins via pinfall.

We see a heart monitor beeping, and then Freddie Prinze Jr comes up, and says that the someone’s still in a coma, and he’s going to miss the election. Then, we see it’s Vince McMahon?!

@Niki_Sushi Michelle’s weave met some chlorine, apparently. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Look out, women are actually wrestling on WWE TV. #SignsofApocalypse

@CawCawBang THERE’S NO TIME OUT IN WRESTLING!!!!!

@BrdWrstlngFn As much as I can’t stand these two – I love the gimmick. It works.

@ThingsColeSays Oh God. That can’t be good.

@FrankWWEClown Aw, Layla is crying. How dare you Natalya. #WWE #RAW

@YourBoyDrew Vince..I just saw you at the appreciation show, what happened within that one day? Haha

Freddie talks to Vince and says that at least Linda comes over to visit, and she’s dedicated, even though she spent $50 million on a campaign. I was right. This is the obligatory Linda for Senate segment!! Now Freddie has to break the news that Taker was buried, Nexus is stronger than ever, Cena’s in Nexus, Paul Bearer’s back, Goldust is getting married, and RAW’s being taken over by PeeWee Herman. Vince says next, Freddie’s going to tell him Bryan is US Champion. Right on the money, Vince. Vince pulls off all the stuff keeping him hooked p and says that he has to go to the bathroom. Then again, if his wife can run for Senate, he can run to be the President. Oh, dear God. There’s a Blumenthal sign on Vince’s butt.

Stephanie suddenly shoots up in bed and says that she had the weirdest dream. She asks Triple H to make sure her dad’s still in a coma, and he says yes, and Thank God.

BRRRRRRRRRRRR What the hell is Creative on tonight?

Wade Barrett and David Otunga vs Randy Orton and R-Truth with Special Guest Referee John Cena

@HitTheRopes With the Blumenthal poster on his keister, WWE gave both candidates time in that segment. LOL

@RingsideRants Stay classy, Vince.

@kickoutblog Okay, Vince waking up after hearing his wife spent $50 million was pretty funny. Not digging the free Linda ads though.

@seraphalexiel D: I hate politics too. Go away

@CawCawBang Mr. Mcmahon is Mr. Krabs

@FrankWWEClown Cena would make a great ref if he wasn’t a Superstar, he just pulled out the tag ropes for this match. So vital. Eat that, Chioda. #WWE

@Lunna1969 Super Cena don’t look right in black and white stripes…

@KeepItFiveStar If John Cena destroys R-Truth I will love him for life

@ThingsColeSays Vince McMahon has lost his damn mind.

Otunga and Orton start out, locking up in the middle of the ring. Otunga backs Orton into a corner and beats on Orton for a while. Orton gets out, and hits a shoulder block on Otunga, getting him to his knees before kicking him in the stomach. He then Irish Whips Otunga and runs into an elbow. Otunga tags in Barrett, who gets a clothesline from Orton as he gets in. Cena gets Orton off of Barrett and Barrett takes advantage and rolls Orton up, only for Orton to kick out at two. It happens again, but Barrett tags in Otunga, who eats a scoop slam. Orton and Barrett lock eyes, and Orton drops his knee in Otunga’s face, then follows him out of the ring. Cena tells them to get back in the ring, and Orton goes to throw Otunga into the steps, only for Otunga to reverse it and throw Orton in. Cena tells Otunga to get Orton back in, and he does. Otunga goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Otunga tags in Barrett, who immediately begins stomping on Orton. Barrett gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton gets to his feet and gives Barrett a very hard throw to the mat. Both men are down and work toward their corners, Otunga and Truth tagged in. Truth hits a hard, two hard elbows on Otunga, then throws Otunga down. Otunga Irish Whips Truth, who jumps off the corner and does his fancy dance moves, and goes for a cover, only for Otunga to kick out at two. Truth throws Otunga into the ropes, and Barrett is tagged in. Barrett goes for the cover, but Truth kicks out at two. Barrett Whips Truth into the corner, and Barrett hits a back breaker. Barrett lifts Truth and punches him in the face, then going up to the second rope and missing an elbow drop as Truth moves out of the way. Both men are down, again. Truth tags Orton, but Cena never saw the tag due to Otunga climbing into the ring and distracting Cena. Barrett drags Truth over to their corner and the Barrett tags Otunga in. Otunga slams Truth onto the mat and hits an elbow drop, going for a cover only for Truth to kick out at two. Otunga tags in Barrett, Cena kicks Otunga to the apron, and Barrett beats Truth up a little. Otunga goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out at two, then puts Truth in a headlock. Truth fights back, and the two of them are down in the center of the ring after a double cross body. Otunga tags in Barrett, but Cena misses it because Orton distracts him. As Cena yells at Barrett, Orton hits the RKO on Otunga and takes Barrett out of the ring. Truth then gets the pin on Otunga.

R-Truth and WWE Champion Randy Orton win via pinfall.

For some reason, Truth’s music changes to Randy’s. The sound guys probably realized that playing Orton’s music made more sense since Orton really got them the victory. Either way, we end RAW with an epic staredown between Orton, Barrett, and Cena.

Overall, not a bad RAW, if you take away the scary ass PeeWee segments. See ya next week, ladies and gentlemen.

WWE Superstars Results

October 24, 2010 1:10 pm Leave a Comment

Hey, my Peeps! Sorry for the absence as of late. I’m in Colorado at the moment and have been really busy lately. That’s no excuse, but life happens. I’m here today to give you some results from this past week’s WWE Superstars. I understand that some people don’t get the channel that carries Superstars, so here we go.

Match 1: Santino and Kozlov vs The Uso’s

Santino picks up the win for his team with the Cobra on one of the brothers. This is good to see, since Santino has been built as a comical jobber throughout the majority of his career in the WWE. We all know he will continue to be that, but it’s good to see him get a win every once in a while.

Match 2: Darren Young vs William Regal

I’m glad Young is getting some face time here. He has talent, but needs to develop his character now that he is out of Nexus. Regal is in a good spot here with a YOUNGer talent…see what I did there??? Regal gets the win here with the running knee.

Nexus invades Superstars. Wade Barrett says that if Cena doesn’t help him win the WWE Title at Bragging Rights, then he will be fired.

Main Event: Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre vs MVP and Chris Masters

I like the pairing of MVP and Masters. I think they could work out if given the opportunity. This was a good match with Cody Rhodes getting the win with the Crossroads.

That’s it for this week. Peace out, Peeps.

Power Poll 10/20/10

October 21, 2010 12:37 am 1 Comment

I haven’t been voting the last couple of weeks, for whatever reason, and I apologize for not getting the poll up here on BWF last week, but here we go with this week’s!

1. Wade Barrett (Last week: 1)

Abusing his power over John Cena and The Nexus and utterly destroying the WWE Champion leaves Wade Barrett number one on the Power Poll for the second straight week.

2. Big Show (NR)

The Big Show led the entire SmackDown roster into RAW and led them to victory (along with Edge) over the RAW roster in a battle royal. Huge momentum for the World’s Largest Athlete heading into Bragging Rights on Sunday.

3. Randy Orton (3)

The Viper teamed with John Cena to defeat Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, but his failure to fight off The Nexus after the match leaves Randy Orton at number 3.

4. Edge (9)

So much for Smurfette – Edge saved The Big Show from certain elimination and helped win the battle royal for Team SmackDown Monday night.

5. The Miz (2)

Having the testicular fortitude to face The Big Show in a one on one matchup and then lasting as long as he did in the battle royal probably didn’t do as much for The Miz’s standing on the Poll as his Smurfy promo against Team SmackDown.

6. Kane (4)

The Big Red Monster was nowhere to be found Monday Night when SmackDown invaded RAW, but neither was his brother The Undertaker, so I suppose that’s not that surprising. As long as he is the World Champion, it seems Kane has a spot in the top 10. Will that continue after the buried alive match?

7. John Cena (6)

Cena’s subservience to Wade Barrett continues to push him further down the Power Poll. What I don’t get is why Cena looked upset Monday Night while the rest of Nexus destroyed his long time rival Randy Orton. Oh well.

8. Jeff Hardy (5)

It goes to show that as long as you’re a World Champion, you’re likely to be on the Power Poll. Of course, Hardy, despite slipping this week, is still riding that wave of momentum that winning a title will get you in this voting process. We’ll see what he does on iMPACT this week and see where he winds up on next week’s poll.

9. Undertaker (NR)

All the Undertaker has to do is make an appearance, and it seems that he’ll make the Power Poll. That’s the power of the Phenom.

10. Daniel Bryan (NR)

The WWE United States Champion made the WWE Intercontinental Champion tap out Monday on RAW, and then busted a move with the smart, sexy, and powerful WWE Divas. Bragging rights are on the line this Sunday!

Dropped out: C.M. Punk, Sheamus, Rey Mysterio

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wonderful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, Smarks Anonymous, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog,WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com, Wrestling Nuggets and Wrestlespective. Follow the Power Poll voters on Twitter. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective(at)gmail.com.

RAW 10.18.10

October 18, 2010 11:10 pm 4 Comments

Sorry about no RAW review last week. I originally planned to do it on Tuesday, but I completely forgot about a midterm, and real life caught up with me and bitch slapped be across the face. Anyway, there’s one gonna be up tonight, and that’s all that matters, right?

Tonight, John Cena will team up with WWE Champion Randy Orton against the men that got him into Nexus in the first place, Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris. How will Nexus feel about this?

RAW starts with Teddy Long, of all people, coming out. He says he’s here tonight because he can. Tonight, he’s going to take over RAW.

“Get out of my ring. Get out of my ring, now. You have no business being here.”

Teddy interrupts and says that Smackdown vs Raw this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and brings out the Bragging Rights trophy. Teddy says that the trophy belongs to Smackdown, and they laid the Smackdown on RAW last year.

“Get out of my ring, or else.”

Teddy says he’s not threatening him? He’ll show him, or else. Teddy climbs out of the ring and he starts arguing with Cole.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

Teddy shoves the mic at Cole and goes up to the podium. He says that the Smackdown General Manager has an announcement to make. Right now, the RAW GM is going to be disconnected. He then introduces the Big Show and the rest of Team Smackdown. Edge, Alberto del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio.

AWESOME!

Turns out Team RAW wasn’t too happy about that, and Captain Miz comes out with a laughing Alex Riley. Miz says this is the team that’s supposed to take over RAW? It looks like Smurf Village next to a power plant. Miz reminds us that he was the sole RAW superstar to win at Bragging Rights last year, is the team captain this year, and will lead RAW over Team Smackdown. The trophy and the Bragging Rights that go with it, will go over to the A-Show. Miz then brings out the rest of Team RAW: CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sheamus. Miz then tells them to get out of their ring, or they’ll make them get out.

Team RAW starts walking down to the ring, and then the brawl starts in the ring between the two teams. While they’re all killing each other, I wanna say that it’s really cool to see Ezekiel Jackson back. Miz then grabs his team and exits the ring, saving that they need to save it for Sunday. Show takes a mic and says, don’t go back there and start a ruckus. He gets it, it’s his ring. Smackdown will get out of the ring, willingly, if Miz will face Show one-on-one in a Captain vs Captain match. Miz agrees to it.

Still to come, WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty.

@legendkiller515 will someone please smack the hell outta cole #wwe #raw #bwf

@CawCawBang Go away Cole you ugly troll

@Lunna1969: Smurfette! Lmao! W2g Miz #RAW #WWE

We come back to the Tag Team Champions standing in the ring.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs The Hart Dynasty with Natalya

Rhodes and Kidd start out, Kidd going for McIntyre before Rhodes plants him and gets the advantage. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, who dominates Kidd. McIntyre plants Kidd’s face into the barrier before getting him back in the ring and tagging in Rhodes. McIntyre drops Kidd onto the ropes and holds him there for Rhodes to kick him in the ribs. Rhodes then tags back in McIntyre and they throw Kidd into the turnbuckle. Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who hits a drop kick on McIntyre and gets the momentum back on their side. He then hits two big kicks on Rhodes and McIntyre. He goes for a cover on McIntyre, but he kicks out at two. Smith hits a running power slam and goes for a cover, but Rhodes breaks it up. Rhodes goes to attack Smith, but Kidd attacks him. They set up for the Hart Attack, but Smith decides to attempt a Sharpshooter last minute. Smith gets distracted by Kidd and McIntyre hits the Future Shock DDT for the win.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

Natalya proceeds to yell at David Hart Smith about how they’re a team.

Backstage, Cena’s thoughtful and Randy Orton walks up. He says that they should lay all the cards on the table. He can tell that Cena being a part of Nexus is eating him up, but he doesn’t think that it would stop him from helping Barrett take the WWE Championship away from him. So, if Cena helps, Orton won’t have any problem punting him in the skull. Cena says that if he even tries, Cena will break that leg off.

@kickoutblog We need Bret to fix these… broken Harts. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

@HitTheRopes Look, Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre are offering their 2 cents…. Get it? 2 cents. (tag titles look like 2 pennies) #rimshot #wwe

Goldust with Aksana vs. Zack Ryder

Damn. I hate that they won’t play Ryder’s theme song. I jam out to it when they play it. Anyway.

Ted DiBiase and Maryse make their way out to the stage to watch the match as Ryder gets an early advantage over Goldust, which Goldust gets back by slapping Zack in the face. Goldust hits the final cut, and the match is over.

Goldust wins via pinfall.

Ted DiBiase makes his way to the ring and attacks Goldust from behind. Maryse went to grab the Million Dollar Belt, but Aksana got it. Maryse then chases Maryse out of the ring to try to get the belt back. Goldust gets up in the ring and hits the Final Cut on DiBiase too. I admit, I’m loving the weird Goldust’s return.

Still to come, Smackdown vs RAW starts early as the Big Show takes on The Miz.

@kickoutblog I kinda wish they would’ve done that video like those old Disney sing-a-longs with a bouncing R-Truth thread.

@WWEsAngel_Nef Bwahahahahahahahaha <—-My reaction to R-Truth’s video package. #WWE

@HitTheRopes Maryse and Aksana face to face. It’s as if Maryse was looking in a mirror…. a mirror that is worn, dusty, and doesn’t show sexy #wwe

Barrett is standing with Nexus and Cena walks in. Barrett says that he wants Cena to test Harris and McGuillicutty, to see if they’re good enough to join the Nexus. Cena said that Barrett just told him to go out there and give it everything he’s got, and those are his orders? He asks what the catch is, and Barrett says that there’s no catch: tonight he has the opportunity to show the WWE Universe the Cena they know and love, then orders him to get him a glass of water.

The kid from Role Models and the new Knucklehead movie, Bobbie Thompson, is playing Smackdown vs RAW with Show vs Miz, and Show wins. Miz then picks him up and to tell him that Miz has a surprise for him. Show then takes Bobbie, and puts him down. Bobbie then says that Show has to knock Miz out for him.

Cena comes back with a glass of water and hands it to Barrett, who says it wasn’t difficult. Barrett wants Cena to know that he’s really enjoying it, then splashes the water in Cena’s face.

@kickoutblog Miz is assaulting children now? #favoritewrestlerever

@FrankWWEClown Heath Slater, stop smirking, you little creep. #WWE #RAW

@CawCawBang When did little chris rock come in?

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WATER BOY!

John Cena and WWE Champion Randy Orton vs Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris

Is it just me, or does Husky look like a pedobear remake? Hmm…

Nexus come up to the stage to watch the match. Cena and McGuillicutty start, and Cena starts unleashing on McGuillicutty. Cena hurls McGuillicutty around the ring before throwing McGuillicutty after a vicious looking fisherman suplex.

@redsandman99 I think it should be illegal for Husky Harris to not wear a shirt

@kickoutblog Should be interesting to see what Husky & Imperfect can do when they don’t have to carry a keg.

Now Randy and McGuillicutty are in the ring, and McGuillicutty kicks out of a cover as Orton tags in Cena. Cena hits McGuillicutty, then goes to take Harris off the apron, then running into a dropkick. Harris gets his chance at retribution and beats up on Cena in the corner. Harris goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris tags in McGuillicutty who beats up on Cena and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out. Harris tags himself in and seems to get stuck for a minute between the ropes, throwing himself into Cena’s face. He goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris has Cena in the middle of the ring in a headlock, but Cena fights to his feet before Harris puts his knee in Cena’s spine. Cena’s flat on the ring floor, but rolls out of the way before Harris squishes him flatter than a pancake hits him. Orton gets in the ring with McGuillicutty and hits a scoop slam. McGuillicutty rolled out to the apron, hoping it would save him, and Orton pulls him between the top and middle rope before hitting the DDT. He points to Barrett, getting ready for the RKO, pushing Harris into Cena for an Attitude Adjustment. Orton then hits the RKO on McGuillicutty and pins him for the win.

WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena win via pinfall.

Cena seems content that he, for once, was able to fight in his own way and won, again. He offers Orton a hand, but Barrett tells him to hold it right there, and tells him not to shake Orton’s hand, and then tells him to get out of the ring, and it’s an order. Cena looks at Orton for a minute, then climbs out of the ring. Barrett says that Cena has the best spot in the house to witness the demise of the Viper, as Nexus surrounds the ring. Orton looks at Cena and then hits Barrett before throwing Slater out of the ring and then is ambushed by Nexus outside the ring. Nexus gets Orton back in the ring, but Orton manages to fight back for a minute before getting overwhelmed again. The crowd is cheering for Cena, but he hasn’t moved. Slater hits his finisher, for the first time since NXT, then Otunga does, then Gabriel. Barrett tells Cena to get in the ring, and Cena does so. Barrett says that he wants Cena to give Orton an Attitude Adjustment, and Cena says that that’s enough. Barrett says do it, or Cena’s fired. Cena gets Randy up to his feet, then on his shoulders. Barrett then tells Cena to give Randy to him. Barrett then hits the Wasteland on Orton. Cena walks out of the ring and starts walking up the ramp, shaking his head.

@kickoutblog Even better joke: Husky Harris is only heavier because he’s being weighed on the metric system. #Canada

@HitTheRopes Slater and Otunga need to go back to the lab and come up with a better finishing move. #wwe

Vickie comes out, just when everyone thought that it couldn’t get worse, but guess what! This is RAW!! Vickie says that she is happy to take credit for the Smackdown superstars appearing on RAW tonight, and there is one special superstar who has a special twinkle in his eyes, because his eyes are only on her: The Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph says that people confuse his cockiness when it’s really just confidence. He can’t blame them, he’s got it all: The looks, the shredded physique, gorgeous head of hair, and that’s not the best part. The most beautiful, intelligent woman on the face of this earth is with him. She’s the ray of sunshine when his skies are gray, she makes his heart go pitter-patter—

Daniel Bryan interrupts and says that he may not be a lady’s man (to which Dolph replies with, “I noticed”), and says that even he could do better than Vickie. Bryan says that he doesn’t have the movie star looks, peroxide infested hair, but he does have the ability to capitalize on any mistake in that ring, and the ability to make Dolph tap out. So, he proposes the United States Champion vs the Intercontinental Champion at Bragging Rights. Vickie seems to be encouraging this. Dolph says that he accepts, but why wait until Sunday? Why don’t they do this right- and then slaps Bryan. Dolph then steps behind Vickie, who steps in front of Dolph. Bryan then side-steps Vickie and tackles Dolph, preventing him from leaving. Bryan then locks in the LaBell Lock, making Dolph tap. Then, the Divas randomly come out and make their way into the ring with Vickie. The Divas surround Vickie and tell her to leave the ring. Gail throws a bucket of glitter at her, then Eve pours it on her. The Divas then seem to be paying way too much attention to Daniel, and they all start to dance with him… and it’s painful.

Anyway, hopefully Captain vs Captain can save RAW… because my head is already spinning.

@bethsharae Oh no! Not glitter!!! #WWE #Raw I guess I should scream all the time at crafts time.

@TKeep123 How can Dolph say this crap with a straight face? (Better check the Wellness policy again!) #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Vickie Guerrero is amazing, why does she need that many zippers? Because fuck you, that’s why!

@Niki_Sushi I don’t know which is more obnoxious – ‘EXCUSE ME!’ or ‘AND I QUOTE!’… #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes: Oh, @WWEDanielBryan, in wrestling you might be best in the world…. at dancing, not so much. LOL

Natalya vs Alicia Fox

Let’s see how short this match is! I’m going to time it!

Alicia slaps Nat a few good times and then tries to shout out to Calgary. Natalya then throws Alicia into the turnbuckle, twice, and then throws her across the ring. Nat tries to go for the Sharpshooter, but Alicia grabs the ropes. Natalya pulls her back, and locks in the Sharpshooter, making Alicia tap.

Natalya wins via submission.

LayCool interferes and says it’s a beautiful moment in a NOT beautiful hometown. LayCool says they would love Canada, but it’s so cold and they have watered down beer, and they say ‘eh’ all the time. And they see Harts everywhere. They say the Harts don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, but in the loony bin. LayCool then starts to go into the ring, but Natalya’s ready. Nat gets Layla, but Michelle comes in. Michelle then puts Natalya in the Sharpshooter, Layla takes a picture, and Natalya counters. Lay tries to help Michelle, and nearly gets put in the Sharpshooter herself. LayCool runs off.

Oh, overall Diva MATCH time, about a minute and fifteen seconds.

Teddy, Show, and Hornswoggle are talking backstage, and Josh Matthews says that it’s rather brazen of them to show up on RAW with Team Smackdown. Hornswoggle grabs a Team Smackdown flag and the entire Smackdown Roster starts heading out.

@kickoutblog If I were The Undertaker and had to listen Michelle McCool talk all the time, I’d want to be buried alive too

@CawCawBang Nattie don’t play along with Laycool’s bullshit

@bethsharae Alicia is gonna throw a hip out if she swings them any harder. #WWE #Raw

@WWEsAngel_Nef God I hate Alicia Fox’s walk. I can’t stand it. She’s gonna break a freaking hip. #WWE

So, the longest part of this show is the Stand Up For WWE video package. So… Yeah.

Oh, we’re back. Cena’s walking away and Barrett stops him, saying he’s not finished with him or Orton yet. There we go. Next up, Team RAW’s captain The Miz will take on Team Smackdown’s captain, The Big Show… and all of Smackdown?

@Niki_Sushi So.. I’m loving this video. Because it’s showing where the WWE goes, and not just on land and the airwaves. They reach hearts-who else does?

@CawCawBang I’m so happy and proud to be a WWE fan

@kickoutblog And “Do you smell what Barack is cookin?” is still amazing. #TheRockObama

@WWEsAngel_Nef LOL God Vince McMahon is good at what he does. Way to do some quick damage control. Nice video package. #WWE

We’re finally going to introduce the guest star, Bobbie J Thompson. Sweet. He says he loves the boos and to keep them coming. He says that he’s there to introduce the man who’s going to leave Team Smackdown to a victory over Team RAW: The Big Show. No, but seriously. Where’s the muzzle on that kid?

Show comes out with Hornswoggle behind him, waving the flag, and Team Smackdown follows him out. Actually, all of Smackdown follows him out.

Miz comes out, but tells Alex Riley to stay behind and walks down to the ring alone. He pauses though, grinning and motioning for everyone else to come out. Team RAW comes out, followed by the RAW roster.

The Big Show vs The Miz

Show closes in on Miz, rips his shirt, and slaps his chest. Show continues to rip up the RAW shirt and slaps his chest again. Show then Irish Whips Miz into a corner, and Show throws him out of the ring. Smackdown closes in, and RAW starts to close in too. Show attacks RAW, and when Smackdown comes in, Show rolls in the ring.

Teddy Long comes out and says that since Bragging Rights is only six days away and everyone from both rosters is out there, he says that they have themselves a Smackdown vs RAW battle royal, and they’re going to do it right now.

Now, I hate reviewing battle royals. So, I hope you watched RAW to figure out what happens, because I’m only going to tell you the winner.

@TKeep123 Ok, I’m old, but the Red and Blue is reminding me of “Rock’em Sock’em Robots!” #WWE #RAW #BWF

Hornswoggle beats Cole up and takes his spot as an announcer, and no one knows what the fuck is going on in the ring. I can’t tell you what’s going on, but Swagger loses his mind and puts Edge in an ankle lock. Toward the end here, a bunch of RAW guys got eliminated and Smackdown is doing a good job holding their own. The last Smackdown guy ends up as The Big Show against Sheamus, Bryan, Jackson, and Miz. Down goes Bryan, then Jackson. Miz and Sheamus work together to get Show over the top rope, and no one remembered Edge wasn’t technically eliminated. So, Edge and Show are the only two left in the ring.

Team Smackdown wins.

Nexus is watching backstage, and Barrett says that all of them, and Cena, are going to witness what’s going to happen Sunday when he’s crowned WWE Champion. Barrett tells Cena to raise his hand as a token of victory. Cena shoves Slater and Gabriel out of the way and raises Barrett’s hand before walking away.

And that’s all she wrote, folks. Daniel Bryan dancing is burned behind my retina, so I’m going to go watch… something to get the image out of my head. Good night.

Random Randomness

October 10, 2010 10:32 am 1 Comment

Well welcome all and a happy Columbus day for everybody here in the states and abroad if you celebrate it. Say what you will about but if it weren’t for him, than many of us wouldn’t be here, well at least not the way we are now. But since this is a wrestling site maybe I should talk wrestling shall we: (more…)

ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts

October 6, 2010 3:34 am 2 Comments

It’s been a long three weeks without cable at the ThinkSoJoE household. That’s three RAWs, the first SmackDown on SyFy, and after this Thursday, three iMPACTs that I missed – as they air, anyway. What really bugs me is the fact that for the first time in years (if ever), I’m going to miss the first three games of the Buffalo Sabres season. Well, on television. That’s what a radio’s for. I’ll finally have cable again next Thursday.

That’s not to say I haven’t been watching wrestling. In fact, I happened to see Hell In A Cell this past Sunday and RAW the next night. The problem with not having cable is, there’s only a limited amount of television you can watch via an antenna, at least in this area with the antenna I have, so your DVD collection gets old quick. So on Monday, between watching HIAC and RAW, I did something completely out of character – I watched a WWE Film.

Yes folks, I hit up my local RedBox (which, at Walmart, is actually blue) and picked up Legendary, which, of course, stars John Cena. And much to my surprise, it was actually good. I’m not saying we should give John Cena an Oscar nod for this, but he definitely played the role better than I ever expected him to. I certainly recommend checking this one out if you’ve got a couple hours to kill.

Now, after being surprised by Cena’s acting in Legendary, something happened. On Monday night, John Cena played his role as the reluctant ally to Nexus perfectly. I’m a cynic when it comes to professional wrestling sometimes, and because I know the business so well, sometimes it’s hard to suspend my disbelief and watch as a fan, but for the last few days, that’s exactly what I’ve tried to do. And as a wrestling fan, I was intrigued by the way Cena played his part following his loss to Wade Barrett at HIAC and the following night on RAW. I’m very interested to see how far the storyline with Cena in Nexus will go, and what the next step for the Barrett/Cena dynamic is. The smark in me wants to kick the fan in me’s ass for praising Cena right now, but oh well.

I’m glad to see that Goldust is finally getting a push and returning to his old “bizarre” persona, as opposed to his “La Resistance made me get electrocuted so I have tourette’s” persona. As AlyKat said in her excellent RAW review, only Goldust would send love letters to a belt.

Holy shit. Where did this John Morrison come from? The guy’s been into Parkour training for ages, and they’re just now making it a huge part of his in-ring style? Climbing that light board at HIAC and diving out onto everybody else from that high up? Where’s Joey Styles to scream “OH MY GOD!” when we need him, huh?

MacGruber came out on DVD and BluRay today. I hit the blue RedBox again and picked up the BluRay, for the sheer fact that a few WWE Superstars were in the movie. Chris Jericho, Mark Henry, MVP, Kane, and The Great Khali make up MacGruber’s team (he rejects The Big Show after seeing him kiss another man), at least until he inadvertently blows them up. The movie has it’s moments, but I wouldn’t waste my time on it. I’m sure the 10 minutes that the WWE guys are in the film will pop up on YouTube any time now.

As I like to do from time to time, I want to take a second and thank the staff here at BoredWrestlingFan.com – this is the best writing team on the internet, hands down! Also, thanks to all of our readers, we appreciate all of you!

RAW 10.4.10

October 4, 2010 11:15 pm 2 Comments

Last night was Hell in a Cell! Did John Cena join Nexus? Is Randy Orton still the WWE Champion? Was Daniel Bryan brutally mu-… I’ll leave that one to myself. Find out tonight, as Jackass star, Johnny Knoxville guest stars what is sure to be another amazing Monday Night RAW!

Nexus comes out and talks about their victory at Hell in a Cell. Barrett says the two men who helped were Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, which didn’t surprise anyone. Barrett says he doesn’t know them and they aren’t a part of the Nexus. Barrett then scolds Nexus for going down to the ring and potentially causing him his match. Tonight’s about inducting Cena into Nexus. Please welcome, the newest member of Nexus, John Cena.

He comes out with no music, which is just heartbreaking, to be honest. I’m upset. I wanted to make a joke.

Tarver says the joke is on Cena, because he failed. They have a gift for Cena: The Nexus armband. Cena looks at the arm band and puts it on. Slater says they know the transition’s going to be difficult, but they’re all there for him. The public wants to know exactly what his thoughts are. He says that he will read the official statement they made instead of saying what he wants to. Barrett says it’s not negotiable, and he’ll read it and read it now.

It essentially says that he acknowledges that he’s a member of Nexus, and an enemy of Nexus is an enemy of his. Barrett says that Cena has to participate in a tag match with a partner of his choice against Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. Cena picks Tarver.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. John Cena and Michael Tarver

Cena starts off the match with an offer to shake Bourne’s hand, and they do. Tarver’s pissed about it, but Cena doesn’t look like he cares. Cena then tags in Tarver and climbs out.

@KeepItFiveStar HEY! Where’s your Nexus Shirt Cena?! There’s a dress code damn it! Put it on!

@seraphalexiel I hope both men don’t suddenly get to join. The end of Season 2 was a failure for a reason, and it begins and ends with McGuillicutty

@Niki_Sushi Awwww. His own wittle armband. Are they slowly going to give him different parts to the ‘uniform’ or what? #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Geez, Cena sure likes to pick on the black Nexus guys. Wasn’t content with getting rid of your brother, now he’s going for Tarver. LOL #wwe

@CawCawBang Cena got something planned I don’t like it

@TKeep123 I wonder if Cena gave any secret signals while he was forced to read his (confession) speech. (Viet Nam era folks will get it.) #WWE #RAW

We come back to Tarver getting his ass handed to him by Henry. Cena really doesn’t seem interested in helping Tarver at all, to be honest, even mockingly reaching for a tag. Tarver manages to get toward Cena for a tag, but Cena leans away, and Henry seems amused by it, toying with Tarver. Tarver goes to tag Cena again, but Cena jumps down off the ring and begins signing signs in the crowd. Henry picks up Tarver and hits him with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.

Cena takes a mic after the match and says that he’s gonna make his own statement. As the newest member of Nexus, he plans on doing one thing and one thing only: destroying it from within. Like no one expected that. Tonight, he proves that you can be Nexus and against us. He hits Tarver in the head with the mic, and then body slams Tarver onto the steel steps. Twice. Then he gets Tarver back in the ring and locks in the STF.

“The terms of the stipulation for your match with Wade Barrett stated that if you lost, you must join the Nexus. Now, Nexus is clearly a group that takes direction from its leader, Wade Barrett. And thus as a member of the group, John, you must also take direction from Wade Barrett. If you don’t, as much as I would hate to do it, as much as it would be bad for business, as much as the WWE Universe would despise it, I would have no alternative but to terminate your WWE contract. Mr. Cena, no one man, despite his popularity, is bigger than WWE. In other words, Mr. Cena, I will fire you.”

@FrankWWEClown And who says Cena is boring, and not interesting? Are you watching this?! #WWE #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Cena’s looking at this all wrong. The Nexus have a great benefits package. Family picnics, BBQs, and other fun Nexus activities.

@HitTheRopes We CLEARLY see Michael Cole reading from a paper and NOT the computer screen. #fail #wwe

@TKeep123 For months we can’t keep #NEXUS away from the ring, and now Tarver gets a beat-down and NO NEXUS to be found? #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi Tarver is in Soul Sucking Position! YOU BETTA HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE! #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay. Say what you want marks but John Cena has the best fans. So devoted. I actually love that they chanted ‘Never Give Up’ #WWE

Alicia Fox vs Natalya

No warning on this one at all, but good to see Natalya in the ring. Natalya hits the sharpshooter pretty quick, and Alicia taps. Great 30 second match.

Natalya wins via submission.

WTF? 30 second match, 30 second reminder of the guest star, Johnny Knoxville, and now five minutes of commercials.

@RingsideRants That wasn’t even long enough for a bathroom break!

@CawCawBang wow that was quick

@kickoutblog My thoughts on Natalya vs. Alicia are longer than the actual match

@redsandman99 The good news is, Nattie won. The bad news is, the match was over in five seconds

@JoeyStyles What a match for Nattie…and I thought I finished fast.

Knoxville is talking with Gail and Melina, promoting Jackass 3D. Zack Ryder comes up, and Knox calls him a tool. He offers Ryder a high-five, only for him to get the shit smacked out of him by a giant hand. Knox mocks him a little.

Cena’s backstage with the Nexus armband again, and Josh Matthews comes up, asking what he’s gonna do. Cena says he doesn’t know. Cena suddenly takes off running after Husky and McGuillicutty, and Barrett says that there’s a lot he needs to talk about, concerning his future.

@TKeep123 FIRST time I was ever happy to see Zack Ryder during a Promo! “You know it!”…. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville just wtfpwn’d Zack Ryder without even getting in the ring. I DEMAND WEE-MAN VS HORNSWOGGLE DAMMIT!!!! #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 damn zach ryder got his ass kicked and he aint even in a match #wwe #bwf #raw

Daniel Bryan is in the ring with his crazy ass music. God, I wanna punch him.

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head! … Too many limes, too many limes!

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Sheamus beat the shit out of Bryan. Not even kidding.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via disqualification.

I think. Sheamus hits the High Cross on Daniel after beating the hell out of him. Sheamus climbs out of the ring and starts back up the ring. Dear, God. Was RAW booking only Nexus and Cena tonight? This is ridiculous.

Anyway, Edge makes his way to the ring to supposedly apologize to the computer.

@Niki_Sushi Oh. Damn. Forgot this fruit existed. Daniel Bryan, go awa-nevermind. GO SHEAMUS GO! #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Oh God, it’s the battle of wrestlers who don’t tan!

@KeepItFiveStar Did Daniel Bryan fail a Wellness test or something? Did he piss the Vegan police off? That was weird.

@Niki_Sushi OMFG! Who put a wrestling match in my commercials?! #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar “And THAT’s for fulfilling your indy dates while under contract!” – Sheamus after destroying Daniel Bryan

@TKeep123 Diva match… 90 seconds. Sheamus / Bryan 120 seconds… WTH? #WWE #RAW

And a Video Package of what we just saw, like fifteen seconds ago. Jesus Christ, RAW. I get that Cena joining Nexus is a big deal, but there are other Superstars…

Oh, God, Michael Cole’s in the ring. He’s now going to speak for the General Manager. I guess Stephen Hawking got pissed at the WWE for using his voice. Supposedly, it’s because of the events of the last few weeks, and will now communicate via email. So, the GM hates us all, is what I’m getting.

Awesome.

Before Edge comes out, the GM wants us to see the hilarious, I’m sorry, horrific events of last week.

The destruction of the GM last week was unacceptable. Two things are going to happen: Edge is “going to apologize”, and the GM will make a huge announcement regarding the WWE Championship.

You think you know me…

Edge, of course, says he won’t apologize. He’s on a personal crusade against all things stupid, and around here, there are a lot of things that are stupid. Michael Cole has been the personification of stupid since 1997. He’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole. And if the GM thinks he has attitude, then when Edge becomes WWE Champion, then he’ll see attitude. The GM says that tonight they will decide the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship in a 20-Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royale. Don’t expect me to keep up with that. The winner will face Randy Orton at Bragging Rights. Edge, however, has disrespected the GM one too many times, and won’t be in the battle royal tonight, because the GM has officially traded him to Smackdown.

Edge says it’s the greatest night of his career, because he now doesn’t have to listen to a computer, or this tool say, “And I Quote.” Cole flips out, and everyone boos him. Yeah, good job Cole. Cole says that now that he’s the official voice of the WWE, Edge needs to treat him with respect. Edge asks if he went off RAW after spearing Cole into next week would be respectful.

AWESOME

The Miz and Alex Riley make their way down to the ring. Miz says that Edge will do no such thing. Cole is a visionary, the one person that realized Miz’ awesomeness before anyone else. Cole leaves the ring, tripping. Miz tells him to go back to the announce table. Edge calls Miz an Edge-wannabe. Edge then goes through the checklist of Edge. Miz says that that was an interesting analysis, but they’re nothing alike. Edge says that he’s right, because Edge has been WWE Champion, and has been married, divorced, had a live celebration. He hasn’t even seen Miz talk to a woman, unless you count Alex Riley. Riley says that whether Edge likes it or not, Miz is the future of the WWE. Edge says that Miz is awesome at tapping out to Daniel Bryan.

Miz says that if Edge is trying to agitate Miz, it’s not working. Miz is either going to be competing in a WWE Championship match, or leading RAW into decimating Smackdown. So, why doesn’t Edge go to SyFy and tell all his new Smackdown buddies that he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.

Edge then attacks Miz and Alex Riley, Spearing Alex Riley, only to get a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz.

Cena backstage with Nexus, and Barrett says that Cena did him a favor in attacking Tarver. He wants Cena to help him with tonight’s battle royal. Cena asks what happens if he wins, and Barrett says that he’s ordering Cena to help him win. Otunga sticks his foot in his mouth and gets berated for it, and then tells Cena to either do as he’s told or get fired.

@TKeep123 Michael Cole has to stand on a box to be seen? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@seraphalexiel Fool. Hide yo paper, at least.

@TKeep123 “I’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole!” – Edge #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi That’s….. three or four laptops now? I seriously hope that’s included in the budget… I don’t think Nextel makes laptops. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Hey Otunga, know your role and shut your mouth. #wwe

@bethsharae I love Edge’s crusade. I shall join him. I now destroy all things stupid. #Raw #WWE

Oh, fuck me running… It’s the Bellas.

Nikki and Brie Bella vs. The Unified Divas Champions LayCool

Jesus Christ, someone put a mic on LayCool. My head hurts bad enough right now… I have no idea what the fuck is going on, okay? I don’t even care anymore. Oh, and there goes the Switcheroo again. Someone kill me. Seriously.

Nikki and Brie Bella win via the same old shit… er, pinfall.

Maryse is backstage, talking to Knox. He says that he doesn’t speak Spanish, and she accuses him of sending the messages. Ted then walks up and accuses him too, and Ted walks right into the huge hand. Maryse throws her shoes at Knox, and then Maryse is hit by the hand and lands right on top of Ted. Knox is apologizing repeatedly, and then runs away from a very pissed looking Ted.

@StrikerSays Are you serious. You just put the BELLAS over your champion. What is this fuckery.

@KeepItFiveStar This match is already longer than Natalya vs Alicia Fox

@ThingsColeSays They have found a way to make LayCool ever more annoying. Well done.

@inkincisions WHAT IS UP WITH DIVAS AND THROWING SHOES ?!?!?!?!?!

@divadirt LMAO! Maryse continues the shoe-throwing trend only to get hit by a giant hand. There’s a very un-PG joke in there somewhere. #WWE

@legendkiller515 that big ass hand is funny #wwe #raw #bwf

Please welcome the guest star of RAW, Johnny Knoxville. Oh, Jackass 3D is in theaters October 15^th. Yes, let’s put Knoxville in the ring. Because that went so well last time.

Knoxville’s talking really fast, is obviously freaked out by DiBiase coming after him, and tries to leave before he does. Too bad, because he’s here…

Knox says that he was just trying to make Maryse laugh, like Ted does… And proceeds to make a fool out of himself. Then smacks the taste out of Knox’s mouth. Then, it looks like he’s trying for Dreamstreet, but Knox just lays there like a limp noodle. Another message comes over the tron: You are mine. Goldust attacks DiBiase, and Maryse just stands there.

Goldust then tells DiBiase he doesn’t want him, obviously, and walks over to Maryse, who seems to be trying hard not to laugh. He does, however, say that he doesn’t want Maryse. What he wants, is the Million Dollar Belt. Only Goldust would send love notes to a belt. Seriously.

Next up: The 20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal.

Here are all the guys I think I saw. I’ll fix it as I can:

John Cena, Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz, William Regal, David Otunga, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Zack Ryder. That’s all I managed to catch, but I’ll do the best I can.

@HitTheRopes It’s amazing how great Raw started and where we are now. #wwe

@kickoutblog OMG IT IS GOLDUST! HE WANTS THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE!

@ThingsColeSays Hey Johnny, there’s a new joke going around have you heard it? What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAPPPPPPPPPP!

@StrikerSays So happy for the return of BIZARRE Goldie. He had dialed down to just “odd.”

King and Cole remind us that a shitload of stuff has happened… if you’ve been watching, you know. If not, scroll up. I’m tired of repeating the same shit.

And Cena’s backstage, brooding over the arm band. Otunga walks up and says that he knows he’s upset. He wants to tell Cena that Nexus isn’t all bad. Barrett is a bit demanding sometimes, but deep down, they can make it work. Cena may feel like this is the end, but it’s not. If Cena ever needs to talk, Otunga’s there for him. Just let him know.

Cole opens his mouth and reminds us of what we’ve already seen. It’s okay, Cole. I have the memory of a goldfish. Thanks a bunch, man.

Twenty Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal

Fuck keeping up with this, so here’s who in the damn match. I’ll just tell you who wins, because it’s easier.

Participants: John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, David Otunga, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Darren Young, and Primo.

@KeepItFiveStar CENA! WHERE’S YOUR SHIRT! You had time!

@bethsharae …. Truth doesn’t get to sing anymore?! HELL YES!!! #Raw #WWE

@HitTheRopes Otunga, don’t you pay attention!? Darren Young, Michael Tarver. What do they AND you have in common? Stay far from Cena. LOLZ #wwe

@legendkiller515 once again no one understands what the hell r-truth is saying in his damn songs #wwe #raw #bwf

Found all the damn contestants. I don’t know what’s going on… Don’t make me figure it all out. Cena eliminated Otunga, and now Barrett yells at him for it. Nexus just argues in the middle of the ring, and no one is aware of it, apparently. God, idiocy.

@KeepItFiveStar Why is Mark Henry asking why? Did he not see the first 10 minutes of the show?

@HitTheRopes I always wish for something unexpected like Santino to win something like this. #wwe

@kickoutblog Why the hell is Darren Young in this match?

@Niki_Sushi I look up to see Nexus, and totally went ‘GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!’ #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 this is the oddest collection of #raw superstars for a battle royal ive ever seen. most of them dont belong in this match #wwe #bwf

I don’t’ know what I’m supposed to say. The outcome was obvious.

Wade Barrett wins.

But, cutting his victory celebration short is none other than the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, who makes his way right up to the ring and right inside, like Barrett ain’t nothing. Which, he probably isn’t. Insert epic staredown, Randy holding up the title, and thus, RAW ends.

Proud of myself for getting this finished for you all tonight, even with a headache and some weird ass dizziness. Anyway, until next week!

Tag Archive: Nexus

RAW: 12/27/10

RAW 12.20.10

RAW 11.8.10

RAW 11.1.10

WWE Superstars Results

Power Poll 10/20/10

RAW 10.18.10

Random Randomness

ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts

RAW 10.4.10

Tag Archive: Nexus

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