Alright. I feel like shit. My back hurts, my wrist hurts, and I’m not even going to be around for BWF Radio this Sunday to read this review. Quite simply, this review is going to suck. Deal with it.
I watch 30 minutes of this show, then go to work, watch the rest at work, and write about it. Or some shit like that. Look, do you want to know what happened on RAW or not? Read on.
MATCH RESULTS
RYBACK DEF. TITUS O’NEIL – Total domination by Ryback, until Darien Young interfered by grabbing Ryback’s ankle. O’Neil hit one inverted Power Bomb for a brief one-count. Still, the match ended the same way all Ryback matches end; power-bomb, shell-shock, three-count.
After the match, Ryback refused to leave the ring until he got his hands on WWE Heavyweight Champion C.M. Punk, Paul Heyman, or the three men who jumped him two days in a row. A line of security guards come-out, but Ryback tossed the biggest one first, and the rest scattered.
RAW Supervisor Vicki Guerro came out to order him out of the ring, Ryback told her to shut up (which won him a ton of new fans,) and demanded revenge. Vicki gave him a match against Punk at TLC. Ryback demanded that it be made a TLC match (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.) Vicki agreed, and Ryback left the ring.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF. THE GREAT KAHLI – This match was set up with a pre-recorded backstage segment, where Rosa Mendes demanded an apology from Hornswoggle, for squirting water in her face, with trick flowers last week. Hornswoggle called her conceited, and Alberto Del Rio stepped in, offering to beat him up. Kahli stepped in to scare him off. Kahli actually dominates most of the match, but a distraction by Roberto Rodriguez (Del Rio’s personal ring announcer,) sets up Kahli for an attack from behind. Del Rio hits the arm-bar for a win by submission.
TAMINA DEF. ALICIA FOX – Basically, Tamina slaps Alicia around and ends this with a splash of the top, for a three-count.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF. TENSAI – Wade Barrett, Kofi’s next challenger, Wade Barrett joins the commentary team at ringside. Tensai’s size advantage gives him an edge for a good amount of time, but Kofi hits a big kick and a flying body press for the three-count.
After the match, Barrett walked into the ring, gave Kofi the title belt, and then walked off without incident.
REY MYSTERIO DEF. WWE TAG-TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN – One of the best matches on TV this year. Both men relied on their agility and quick last-second escapes and counters to keep the tide turning back and forth. Bryan focused on beat-downs and wearing down the arm, Mysterio countered with bursts of fast-paced offense. Match ends with a 619/Dropping a Dime combo by Mysterio for a pin on Bryan.
JOHN CENA DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER – This match was set up after a segment with Vicki Guerro offering Cena and AJ matching bathrobes (see below.) People, who criticize Cena for his “five moves of doom,” need to acknowledge Ziggler does the same thing (if not everybody in WWE,). That said, this was a good, solid match. One point of contention is Cena NO-SELLING the “bad knee,” until a specific spot at the end. Going for the “five knuckle shuffle,” Cena stumbles out of the ring, the ref and another WWE official check to see if he can continue, while Ziggler exposes a turnbuckle. AJ runs out to stop him and Vicki runs out to pull AJ off the ring. The ladies have a stare-down while Ziggler goes after Cena with his MiTB briefcase. Cena ducks Ziggler’s swing and hooks the “AA,” for a three-count. Cena celebrates with AJ, FORGETTING ALL ABOUT THE BAD KNEE.
SHEAMUS DEF. U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO – This was a straight up brawl between two big workhorses. Highlight of the match is Cesaro catching Sheamus and hoisting him up, and dropping him hard. Picture a combo of Lex Luger’s “torture rack” and Ryback’s “Shell-Shock.” Match ends with Sheamus escaping the “neutralizer” with a back-drop and a Brogue-kick to Cesaro. Cesaro goes out to the floor and gets counted out.
World Heavyweight Champion Big Show comes out with a chair. Sheamus grabs the mike and tells Big Show he will be happy to retire him at TLC, and just how barbaric he can be. Show responds by destroying the chair with his bare hands.
DAMIEN SANDOW DEF. ZACK RYDER – Not much more than filler. Ryder had a decent showing here, but the match ends with Sandow using his neck-breaker variant to get the three-count.
Side Note: Ring announcer Justin Roberts waited for Zack Ryder to get in the ring before announcing him, Michael Cole slipped back into “heel” mode to give him grief about it.
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION C.M. PUNK DEF. KANE – Our Main Event for the evening. And yes, this did take the show over three hours, again. There is a weird spot in the match when Punk slides to the outside, and starts favoring his right knee. Kane was as close to Punk as THESEWORDSARETOEACHOTHER but did NOTHING to him. Kane let Punk slide back in and pull him neck first into the top rope. Now here’s the weird thing, the announcers (Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler,) never acknowledged ANY of this, even though Punk was right in front of the camera, limping and acting like he was hurt for real the whole time. It’s weird because this is, to my understanding, standard procedure when someone gets legit hurt during a match, gloss over it, don’t call it, and keep the show going. So, I have to wonder if Punk really was hurt. The match ended when the three NXT talents, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Reigns (now called “The Shield”) came out to distract Kane. Punk hit the GTS and got the three.
After the match, the Shield teased going for Punk, but pilled on Kane. Daniel Bryan tried to make the save, but got beat down. Ryback charged down and took over on the Shield. Punk took a cheap shot at Ryback, but Ryback caught him. Ryback went for a power-bomb, but Reigns took him down with a spear. Monday Night RAW ends with C.M. Punk holding his belt in the air; and his foot on Ryback’s chest; for the second time in a week.
ANGLES AND SEGMENTS
1.) RYBACK/VICKI – Our first interview segment would have to be Vicki Guerro trying to talk Ryback out of the ring after his match (setting up his match w/Punk at TLC.) Not a shining moment for either one of them. Huge gaps between the dialogue and you could tell they didn’t talk over each other when they were supposed to. Seriously, don’t give Ryback more lines than he needs.
2.) Backstage: Hornswoggle, Rosa, Del Rio, and KHALI – Basic segment just to set up their match, seemed pretty damn elaborate for a match that wasn’t anything special.
3.) GM’S OFFICE: VICKI, HEYMAN, PUNK – Punk came in to complain about having to face Ryback, Heyman suggested Vicki was trying to compensate for her bias against Cena and AJ, and Vicki flat out accused Punk of calling in the “Shield” to cover his ass. Vicki sets up a match between Punk and the winner of a RAW-active Twitter Poll, #WWEKane or #WWEBryan (see above.) Interesting to see Punk get the shaft from a “fellow” heel; it gives Vicki an extra character dimension, and it makes you wonder what it is EVERYBODY hates about Punk.
4.) THE SHEILD SPEAKS – We see a pre-recorded interview with Michael Cole and the three NXT talents who’ve taken it on themselves to attack Ryback twice, (Ambrose, Rollin, and Reigns.) They deny any affiliation with C.M. Punk, and claim they were acting against injustice. They accused WWE of being an elaborate popularity contest, and stated that C.M. Punk had every right to celebrate his One Year anniversary as champion, arguing they would’ve done the same thing if Ryback or Cena had been champion and Punk tried to disrupt them. They declared themselves The Shield and cut the interview short. Interesting aspect; as the Shield’s mission statement seems to have themes in common with the IWC’s constant complaints about WWE.
5.) VICKI, CENA, AJ, AND ZIGGLER – Basically, Cena comes out to address the “kiss” from last week. Vicki comes out to trash AJ and present Cena with a “gift,” of matching bathrobes and to warn Cena about the inevitable implosion. She points out AJ’s relationship drama with Punk/Bryan and Kane. AJ comes out to tell off Vicki and blatantly shoves her attraction to Cena in everyone’s face. Ziggler comes out to remind everyone that he took out Cena last week in the locker room, and Cena jumped him from behind on Smackdown. Cena tries to go after him, but Vicki orders him to stop and makes a match between Ziggler and Cena later that night. The match ends with Cena getting the win. CAN WE END THIS NOW!? I am PRAYING that this is the end of the AJ “scandal,” and I will spend the rest of my life wondering WTF this was supposed to accomplish.
On paper, this was a good RAW, with a lot more actual wrestling and a lot of solid match-ups, however the angle segments really weighted down the show.
This will be brief.
We open with a recap of WWE champion C.M. Punk running away from Ryback on last weeks’ show, leaving his team to be decimated by Team Foley. Backstage, Miz tells Heyman he quits.
We go to the ring for a six-man tag with Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and R-Truth against U.S. champ Antonio Cesaro and the Prime Time Players (Young/O’Neil.) Truth and the masked men win the match with a head scissors, 619, and a “little Jimmy.” During the match, Re and Cara seemed to have some legit confusion over a double team.
Lawler returns next week.
Vicki Guerro came out to talk about AJ and Cena some more. I think the crowd was chanting “QUIET!” I’m not sure. Cena came out and brought up her being GM on Smackdown while being married to Edge, and hooking up with Dolph Ziggler. He calls her something I don’t understand. We get videos of AJ in a bathrobe knocking on a door, and John in a towel opening and closing a door. Vicki demands AJ come out. AJ, on the tron, threatens to attack Vicki if she comes out, Ziggler steps in and implies AJ is a whore. Cena heads to the back. Vicki laughs manically.
https://sandynjrelieffund.org – Because they decided to do at least ONE WORTHWHILE THING TONIGHT.
Backstage; Heyman talks Wade Barrett into joining Team Punk. Barrett hints at a favor.
Hell No comes out. We get Daniel Bryan against Cody Rhodes. A brawl on the outside sets up a win for Cody. Cody grabs the mike and brags that Sandow could beat Kane. Kane grabs Sandow.
We get Kane verses Sandow. Bryan chases Cody into the ring. The ref throws them both out. Kane wins with a choke-slam.
Cole interviews referee Brian Maddox. Maddox screwed Ryback out of the title at Hell in a Cell so he could be famous. Vince comes out and says if Maddox can beat Ryback next week, Maddox will get a $1,000,000 contract. He sends Maddox out and calls out Vicki Guerro. He scares Vicki into booking Punk into a three-way defense against Ryback and John Cena.
We get Sheamus against Miz with Big Show at ringside next. Miz looks good, getting in a lot of offense and dominating the match, but it ends with a brogue kick and a three-count for Sheamus.
Backstage; Vicki comes out of Vince McMahons office and tells Dolph Ziggler he’s the new captain of Punk’s team. Punk steps in to voice his objections; Vicki tells them they’re facing Ryback and Cena in tonight’s main event.
We get a promo for FANDANGO?
Backstage; we have Sheamus; thanking Stephen Regal for all his support, and agreeing to have dinner with him.
We get a recap of Vicki’s “evidence,” against AJ, and then we watch Aksana and Eve walk to the ring.
Our next match is Layla/Kaitlin vs. Divas champion Eve and Aksana. Kaitlin pins Eve and no-one cares.
Backstage; Alberto Del Rio and Roberto Rodriguez discuss being on Team Ziggler when Rosa Mendez bumps into ADR. He smiles and they hit the ring.
WWE IC champ Kofi Kingston comes out, followed by Ricardo announcing ADR, who drives out in a $500k Aston Martin. We get a recap of last Friday’s Smackdown, where ADR cost Randy Orton a loss against Wade Barrett, and Randy responded by attacking him backstage.
Our next match is Kingston vs. Del Rio. It’s a hard fought match, with the tide going back and forth until Orton’s music hits and distracts Del Rio, allowing Kofi to get the pin, and Orton to run in and RKO Del Rio.
We get a recap of the Maddox interview and Co-Bro (Santino Morella and Zack Ryder,) come out.
We get a tag team match with Co-Bro vs. Mo-Co (Primo/Epico) w/Rosa. We get a chant for Ryder and Santino gets the pin w/the Cobra.
Next up is Wade Barrett vs. Brodus Clay. Barrett is clearly the crowd favorite, despite the “Funkadactyls,” embarrassing attempt to rally the crowd. Barrett wins with the “souvenir.”
We get footage of people in a pub for some reason, and then we get Heath Slater w/Jinder Mahal vs. Jay Uso w/Jimmy Uso. Slater wins with the “Smash Hit,” (wide swinging DDT.)
And now, our main Event
WWE heavyweight champion C.M. Punk comes out with Paul Heyman. Punk recaps his victories over Ryback and Cena, and mentions his reign has been 351 days and he is the best in the world. Ziggler comes out followed by Cena (to a hostile crowd) and Ryback.
Our main event is a tag team match, Ryback/Cena vs. Punk/Ziggler. Cena carries most of the match as the face in peril. The big finish is Cena making the tag and Ryback devastating their opponents. He tosses Ziggler out of the ring like a doll, and pins Punk with the Shell-shock. The show closes with a Cena/Ryback stare down and Ryback going “Feed Me More…Feed Me More…etc.”
It seems the last couple of months have been building up to this Monday. Meanwhile back in Smackdown Land, I’m sure most viewers are going into this just waiting for RAW. 
It’s kind of a bit of a joke though, because after next week’s Monday does the three hour tour… they are going to be scrambling for things to do to fill that extra hour. And let’s be frank for a moment here, they are having problems filling two hours. So what are we in store for tonight? A holding pattern? Two hours of vanilla tout videos? Ryback squashing someone? Momma’s being called? The answer to all of these questions is likely, “Yes,” but since it’s backstage dance time, let’s hop to it shall we?
The show opens with a run through of the season so far.
Each of the three rookies gets a moment to give their thoughts.
(more…)
We open up with a replay of last weeks Keg carry and the elimination of Titus O’Neil.
Honestly, I’ve heard nothing about another elimination, so I think that week’s elimination was just them realizing he was to green and needed to go for more training.
(more…)
We open with the NXT rookies being brought out. Tonight is the Pros and Fans Poll.
I’ve voted but unfortunately you only get to vote for who will be the next breakout star. You don’t get to rank them.
(more…)
Straight to the intro tonight
We have out first Pro vs Rookie match tonight as Cody Rhodes take’s on Mark Henry’s rookie Lucky Cannon.
We open with the new announcer Ashley Vallence, a rather generic new diva. She tells us about the Pros Poll next week and when voting will open.
The Pros come out. Mark Henry is wearing a shirt the says I Got Lucky.
The first match is a tag team match, Alex Riley and the Mizand their opponents are MVP and “Showtime” Percy Watson.
Thes guys really do look right together.
Riley wants to start and wants to face Percy Watson, instead of MCO. Watson dancing around. He eats a knee and a headlock and is run over with a shoulderblock.
Headlock by Riley. Another shoulder. A leapfrog by Watson then he gets a dropkick on the reboud. Followed by a second. Front facelock and MVP comes in. Double hiptoss.
MVP tosses Riley, even saying “Annnndddd Out you go,” as he does it.
Miz yells him, then tags in. Watson comes back in. Suplex. Watson loses his glasses. Forearms by Miz. Riley in with a shot to the gut. Hard whip to the corner and a corner crush. Miz chokes him on the ropes.
Riley with a rear chinlock. MVP chant by the crowd. Jawbreaker by Watson. MVP in. Belly to belly throw. Asiatic thrust. Facebreaker. Ballin Elbow. Riley with a kick to the hamstring and he tags out.
Watson in. Flying clothesline. Leaping splash. It’s like he dropkicks the air then turns over as he falls.
Hotshot by Miz. Skull crushing finale for the win. By the way we learned the Riley calls himself the Varsity Villain.
We get Titus O’Neil’s promo. He talks about his troubled youth and his twin sons. He’s in the University of Florida’s Hall of Fame.
He’s up next.
Cole mentions NXT season 1’s attack on Vince.
His opponet is Michael McGillicutty. He was interviewed earlier. He called his mother last week after his first win. It’s a moment he’ll never forget.
Tie up. Titsu throws him to the corner and hits a choulder. Mike with a kick to the knee and a headbutt. He hits the ropes but is caught. They’re just fighting it out.
Big clothesline. Rear chinlock. Fights out but there’s a botch and he gets dropped to the mat. Bodyslam by O’Neil but Mike McPerfect gets hits knees up on a splash. He hits his neckbreaker finish for the win.
Next up is Kaval vs Eli Cottonwood, which gets a tale of the tape. Matthews says it’s a Porche 911 vs a Mac Truck along with other superlatives.
Laycool comes down to ringside with Kaval. Morrison with Cottonwood.
Kaval with kicks. Gets backed up but hits a double kick to the chest and a rolling kick.
Cottonwood throws him to the corner and then stomps him. Bearhug. Rams him into the corner. Chokes. Kaval gets an armbar to the rope. Kick to the chest.
Springbaord kick to the chin. Eli throws him over the top. He lands on the apron. Double stomp to the back of the head. Two count. Front chokeslam by Eli for the win. And the crowd doesn’t mind.
Lucky Cannon promo again. In 2004 he got hit in the back of the head with a lead pipe helping a friend and he talks about the rehab.
Next up is the update about the attack.
Laycool is giving some support to Kaval. Michelle says thrid times the charm. They give him a pink shirt that says property of LayCool and he tries very hard to be polite.
Next we get a replay of the setup for the Rhodes/Cannon match. Striker just wants to put Rhodes smacking him behind him.
I really don’t have anything to say about the replay of the beating. No comment on Vince’s health. AnonGM says these actions will be met with appropriate consequences.
Hucky Harris accompanies Cody to the ring.
Henry accompanies Cannon. Both are wearing the I got Lucky shirt.
Cody on the mike. He says he said Lucky would be lucky to last five minutes with him. So this is a five minute challenge.
Cannon into the corner and Rhodes points at the clock. Armbar. Slaps Lucky. Headlock takeover.
Michael Cole won’t stop praising him. Dropkick to Lucky who roles outside. Punch by Rhodes. Double leg takedown by Cannon. Rhodes grabs a facelock and rolls over. Rhodes with a knee to the side of the head. Elbow to the back of the head.
Rhodes sets up an upside down Gorybreaker. Cannon slips out and gets a rollup. Lucky ducks a punch, hits a flapjack. Kick to the face by rhodes who then runs into a big boot.
Matthews points out he’s doing it to a former tag champ as Cole kept talking about that.
Cannon over the top, Rhodes with a kick to the face. Crossrhodes with 1:02 minutes left.
The rookies now get a chance to talk before the poll next week. Each guy gets 45 seconds.
Alex Riley does a stereotypical jerk jock. Kaval apparently tried to get in WWE ten years ago but was told he was to small. Titus O’Neill had to work just like everyone else in the audience. Always told what he wouldn’t do. But he will make it. McGillicutty possesses no weaknesses and he’s undefeated. And he times his promo PERFECTLY. Cottonwood is the baddest and meanest. He’s patient. He’ll lie in the weeds and hide in the shadows until he can strike with a vengeacnce. But this means nothing because his actions speak louder than his words. Percy Watson likes to have a good time just like the WWE Universe. He’s getting better and better and he’s got two words for us. Oh yeah. Lucky is lucky because he stands on his own two feet and he knows and appreciates everything he has. Hucky Harris doesn’t need 45 seconds. He beats down Striker.