Santino Marella Archives - Page 5 of 8

RAW 12.13.10

December 13, 2010 11:29 pm 6 Comments

Hello everyone! Tonight is that special night once a year where Superstars and Divas – and now Guest Hosts/Stars? – are given that award that they all hope to attain! A championship?! Don’t be silly!! The Slammy for… Whatever Category They’re Nominated In!! And, because someone, somewhere loves me, here are the categories and nominees!

SHOCKER OF THE YEAR!
The Miz cashes in Money in the Bank and becomes the WWE Champion
Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho in the head
The Nexus debuts
Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker
KNUCKLEHEAD MOMENT OF THE YEAR
Big Show unmasks a bald CM Punk
Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov
Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble
Lay-Cool gets beaten by Mae Young
DESPICABLE ME AWARD
CM Punk sings Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
Drew McIntyre faces and humiliates Teddy Long
Kane buries The Undertaker alive
Mr. McMahon makes truce with Bret Hart, then kicks him in the groin
HOLY %&^*%&* MOVE OF THE YEAR
Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with a leg drop off ladder through announce table
John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments
Randy Orton delivers an RKO to a flying Evan Bourne
John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz
GUEST STAR SHINING MOMENT OF THE YEAR
Wayne Brady gets RKO’d by Randy Orton
Pee-Wee Herman vs The Miz
Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho
William Shatner sings WWE Entrance Themes
“OH SNAP” MELTDOWN OF THE YEAR
Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies
Edge destroys the RAW GM’s laptop
Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with a steel chair
Batista quits WWE
WWE MOMENT OF THE YEAR
Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind with a lead pipe
Edge Spears Chris Jericho through the barricade
The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels in Michaels’ final match
John Cena counts 1-2-3 as Orton defeats Barrett and Cena is fired from WWE

As well as these categories, there’s also Diva of the Year and Superstar of the Year! But, alongside the Slammys tonight, we also have to find out what Wade Barrett’s decision is concerning Nexus. Will he rehire John Cena, or will he be outcast from the Nexus?

However, before RAW went on the air, the following Superstars won the following awards:

Best Performance By a Winged Specimen RAW Chicken
Best Use of Exercise Equipment Rosa Mendes – Shake Weight
Most Menacing Haircut Tyler Reks
Best Family Values Kane destroying Swagger Sr. as Jack Swagger looks on
Superstar/Diva Most in Need of Makeup Sheamus
The “Cole in Your Stocking Award” Daniel Bryan attacking Michael Cole on NXT
Outstanding Achievement in Baby Oil Application “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Frequent Tweeter Award Goldust
Best WWE.Com Exclusive Show WWE NXT <-Because this needed a category…
Most Annoying Catchphrase Zack Ryder’s Woo Woo Woo, You Know It

David Arquette is introduced, and says that there’s no one better to kick of the Slammy Awards than him. Arquette says that he beat Eric Bischoff, and then says that he should have won an Oscar for his role in “Ready to Rumble”. The first category of the Slammys is the Shocker of the Year! Is it The Miz cashing in on Orton? The Nexus debuting? Paul Bearer’s turn against the Undertaker? Or, will it be Randy Orton punting Chris Jericho in the skull?

Wade Barrett comes out and says nothing for a few minutes. Then, he speaks and says he accepts it on behalf of the Nexus. Of course, the Nexus wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. If he wouldn’t have won NXT Season One and brought them with him, then they wouldn’t have become the most powerful group in the history of the WWE. And speaking of power, he is the one man with the power to rehire John Cena. Of course, the other members of Nexus have informed him that if he fails to rehire Cena, he’ll be excommunicated from the group. That is, of course, the group he created. He hasn’t made up his mind yet, but he will be making his decision before the night is over. In the mean time, everyone can rest assured that Barrett will be creating many more shocking moments in the WWE.

“Mr. Barrett, I’m going to give you the opportunity to give us yet another shocking moment in a match right now against this man.”

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, it’s a Big Show!

Wade Barrett vs The Big Show

Big Show took Wade’s Slammy, and Barrett looks upset. Punk says that Show thinks there is chocolate under the Slammy, which is why he took it.

Show goes for Barrett, but Barrett ducks under the rope. And then again. Barrett then slides out of the ring and walks around it. The ref starts counting. Barrett gets back in the ring at nine. Show then fakes a hit and kicks Barrett on the stomach, then smacks him hard in the chest. Show then goes to do it again, but Barrett pokes Show in the eye. Barrett takes advantage and attacks the legs. Show misses with a right hand, and Barrett continues to attack his legs. The crowd has a Cena chant going, and Show swats Barrett away from him. Barrett gets show on one knee, but Show gets up and is pissed, throwing Barrett all over the ring, and then out of it. Show climbs out and smacks Barrett again. Barrett is thrown back in the ring, and Show makes his way in as well. Barrett rolls back out and grabs his Slammy. Then, he proceeds to walk out of the match.

Big Show wins by count out.

The Superstar of the Year Nominees are Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Edge, John Cena, World Heavyweight Champion Kane, and WWE Champion The Miz.

@Niki_Sushi ‘It’s not fair! It’s not fair!’ Bitch, this is professional wrestling, not dodgeball. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 did I just see ANGRY MIZ girl in the crowd??? #WWE #RAW #Slammies

Oh God. And again, the Diva of the Year will be determined in a battle royal… again.

Kelly Kelly’s presenting Despicable Me Slammy of the Year with Tyson Kidd and Jackson Andrews, or whatever his name was.

God, it’s been so long since I’ve had to listen to Kelly Kelly talk, and she still sounds disgustingly stupid. And I agree with Tyson as he congratulates her for using more big words right now than ever in her life. I like Tyson now. The nominees are: Drew McIntyre humiliating Teddy Long (I want this one, just for Drew to talk to me), Kane burying the Undertaker alive, Mr. McMahon turning on Bret Hart after seeming to accept him, or CM Punk singing happy birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.

CM PUNK!

The crowd doesn’t seem to know whether to cheer or boo him.

Punk says this just goes to prove that if you work hard and believe in yourself, you’ll make all your dreams come true. People ask him why he did it, and he did what he did because Rey wronged Punk, and when people wrong him, he gets even. Right now, there’s another individual who has wronged him, and he’s going to talk specifically to this person, so he wants them to watch their back, because he will get even. And if you think what he did to Rey and his family was despicable, you haven’t seen anything yet.

Kofi comes out, and Punk says that it’s his moment.

@WWEsAngel_Nef LMAO @ CM Punk #wwe #slammys Punk is fkn gold man!

@kickoutblog Quite convenient that the Despicable Me award is one day before the movie comes out on DVD.

@xescapeartists Did Tyson just make fun of Kelly Kelly? OMG TYSON. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. And Kelly, you suck on the microphone. kthnks.

@redsandman99 And the Bellas STILL think Daniel Bryan is the guest host!

Kofi Kingston and United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler and Ted DiBiase with Maryse

Daniel and Dolph start out, Ziggler with Bryan in a headlock. Bryan fights out with elbows, but Ziggler takes him down, only for Bryan to kick out of the cover. Ziggler tags in DiBiase, who holds Bryan against the ropes, distracting the ref while Ziggler delivers a cheap shot. DiBiase goes for two covers in a row, but Bryan kicked out. DiBiase tags in Ziggler, who runs right in and goes for a cover, only for Bryan to kick off. Ziggler tags in DiBiase again, and kicks Bryan in the stomach. DiBiase goes for another cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. DiBiase gets Bryan in a headlock, and Bryan kicks out, ducking two clotheslines, and then both men running into one another in a cross body. DiBiase rolled right out of the ring, and Bryan tags in Kingston. Ziggler comes in, only to get a bunch of kicks to the face. Kingston Boom Drops Ziggler and then calls for the Trouble in Paradise, which connects. Kingston goes for the cover and DiBiase just barely misses breaking the cover before the ref smacks the mat in three.

Kofi Kingston and the United States Champion Daniel Bryan win via pinfall.

Later to come, Sheamus and John Morrison meet one on one.

@kickoutblog But speaking of Despicable Me… IT’S SO FLUFFY!

@Niki_Sushi Vickie, Bellas, Daniel, Kofi…this could only get worse if Truth came out. #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef I love how everyone has a woman at ringside except Kofi. Maybe he should ask DB if he can borrow a Bella Theres enough 2 go around #bwf #wwe

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov are going to present Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year! Santino says that once again RAW was host to top performers in sports and entertainment. Santino says that Kozlov was humiliated by the cast of MacGruber, and then Kozlov says the time that he destroyed Santino. Santino apologizes, kisses his cheeks, and then steps away from an angry looking Kozlov. The Nominees are Mike Tyson for punching out Chris Jericho, Pee Wee Herman vs The Miz, Wayne Brady getting an RKO, or William Shatner singing Superstar Entrance Themes.

Via satellite, Pee Wee says he just received word that he won. He’s never won anything like that before and he’s overwhelmed, and he’d like to thank The Miz, Big Show (AKA Big Pee Wee), and he’s ready to come back anytime, and it’s incredible, and he’s going to burst, and thank you, and all that good stuff.

Backstage, Barrett puts his Slammy up and is confronted by Nexus. Otunga says they want his decision. If he doesn’t hire Cena back, Nexus will be just fine, but Otunga can’t say the same thing for Barrett. Taking that beating from Show didn’t look too promising for Barrett’s singles career. Barrett thanks Otunga for opening his eyes and says he knows exactly what he has to do.

@JoeyStyles William Shatner was robbed of a Slammy

@WWEsAngel_Nef WILLIAM SHATNER WAS ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #WWE #bwf #Slammys

@RingsideRants That crowd could not care less about Pee Wee Herman.

@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville should win, just for knocking Ted on his ass. I’m just saying. #BWF #RAW

Mark Henry vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes

Rhodes can’t even get his jacket out of the ring before Henry runs after him. Henry goes after Rhodes, and Rhodes ducks under the ropes. Rhodes ducks a clothesline, and then is thrown across the ring, and then is hit with a clothesline. Henry then screws with Rhodes’ face, and Rhodes goes Hulk on him. Rhodes rips Henry and then jumps all over him, literally, and then puts him in a headlock. Henry refuses to submit, and manages to get up to his feet. Rhodes goes to kick him, but Henry pushes him back and then clotheslines him a few times. Rhodes thrown into the corner, and then gets Henry’s giant ass in his stomach. Henry goes to do it again and Rhodes hits Beautiful Disaster, then takes him down. Rhodes then jumps off the top rope and plants his knee in Henry’s spine for the win.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes wins via pinfall.

Next up is the Holy %&^*%&* Move of the Year.

@Niki_Sushi I really… really… want some kool-aid right now. HE’S DANCING MY FACE, DAMMIT! >:O #BWF #RAW

@seraphalexiel At this point, I’m positive that a win over Mark Henry should no longer be considered an upset victory

Jerry “The King” Lawler is presenting us with the next award!… along with Vickie Guerrero. Don’t worry, King, you aren’t the only one upset. King says he’s glad to see Vickie and he’s lucky to be there, because he was up all night with his pet lizard who had reptile dysfunction. I laughed. Vickie says Holy…. Is the exact reaction she had when Cole caused Jerry the WWE Championship. King says that that’s probably the reaction Ziggler has when she models lingerie, or goes into the restaurant and says she’ll take it when given the menu. Vickie says she’s lost weight, and Jerry says to look around, and she’ll find it.

Nominees! Morrison jumps off the set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz, Kingston leg drops Drew off a ladder through the announce table, Cena AA’s Batista through the stage, and Randy RKO’s Evan in midair.

John Cena! King says hold up, because Cena is fired and can’t be there, so they’re going to accept it.

Barrett comes out and says that he’ll take that. If Cena wants it, he can come and get it. The whole world is hanging on Barrett’s every word, because he’s about to decide whether or not to rehire John Cena. Barrett says his decision is… … … … Barrett says that he’s not going to make his decision unless John Cena comes down to the ring and faces him. The crowd starts screaming and Barrett’s eyes dart around to try to find Cena. Cena hugs a bunch of people and high fives people and makes his way to the ring. Barrett tells him to keep his distance, and that if Cena attacks him now, his decision will be obvious. Barrett says that he’s thought long and hard about this decision, and it affects a lot of people: Cena, Barrett, and the Nexus. The Nexus comes out, but John doesn’t seem scared. Nexus surrounds the ring again. All these long pauses of silence are getting on my nerves. Barrett says that Cena is officially rehired… on two conditions: 1) Cena agrees to face Barrett this Sunday at TLC in a chair match, which Cena agrees to. 2) Cena gives the whole world what they’ve been waiting to see: Tonight, he goes one-on-one with David Otunga. Otunga looks shocked, but Cena laughs and agrees to that too. Barrett says he wants to show Cena exactly why he wanted to rehire him. And Nexus climbs up on the apron, and Cena fights, and Nexus gangs up on him. Barrett slides in the ring with a steel chair, and smacks Cena with it when he goes to get up. Then again. Barrett and Nexus leave the ring. Welcome back, Cena.

@Niki_Sushi Slipped that carpet right out from under Mr. Orange Face, now didn’t he? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 “Paging Wade Barrett…paging Wade Barrett….you can claim your testicles at the ticket office. ” #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

Next week is WWE Week on USA! Monday night at 9 is RAW, Tuesday night at 9 is Smackdown, LIVE, and Tribute to the Troops is Wednesday at 8!!

David Arquette is back, with a change of clothes, to say something: he’s opening a theater at the historic Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. They’ll be debuting on Valentine’s Day 2011. He wants to introduce the WWE Universe Fan Reaction of the Year. This encapsulates what makes the WWE Universe so great. Nominees: Weird Kid Reacting to Cena joining Nexus. Loser Crying when Shawn Michaels’ career ended at Wrestlemania, some Kid, and then the Angry Miz Girl.

I officially hate her. She thanks her dad and her sister, and-

AWESOME

I really hate her right now.

Miz kneels in front of her, to a rather unimpressed face, and asks if she remembers him. He says she looks so pretty, and compliments her Slammy. He asks if he can take a look at her Slammy, and the girl looks half dead. He says that he should take it for safe-keeping, and then asks if she can do him a favor: show him the face, and then mocks her for the face. He makes Riley hold it, and says that he deserves a Slammy, not a nine-year-old girl. Nobody’s worked harder than him. He’s held the United States, Unified Tag Team, Money in the Bank, and WWE Championships. That’s called a Grand Slam. He finds it amazing that tonight is the Slammys when there are still three weeks left in the year, because if you want a moment of the year, tune in this Sunday to TLC where he’ll beat Orton so bad, Orton will beg him to put him through a table. He’ll prove why Miz is the reason they’re here tonight-

“I decided that six days before your tables match at TLC, both you and Randy Orton are going to face former champions tonight. And Miz, your match against a former World Champion, begins right now.”

WWE Champion The Miz vs Rey Mysterio

Miz and Rey go to lock up, but Miz kicks Rey, then beats him into the corner. Miz then whips Rey across the ring, but Rey throws him out of the ring, and then sentons him outside the ring.

@Niki_Sushi It’s like taking a Slammy from a very angry 9 year old girl who would love nothing more than to beat you to death with it. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Did Miz just steal Miz Girl’s Slammy?! Hilarious.

@HitTheRopes Where’s Kalee’s dad? Just for realism, dad should have gotten in Miz’s face. #wwe

@TKeep123 ANGRY MIZ GIRL…..LIVE!!! ….and she WINS!! …and she still ain’t happy! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@AngryGirlWWE I WIN! I WIN!!!!! #angrygirlwwe

@RingsideRants Miz Girl is a better actress than Dixie Carter.

We come back to Rey fighting and throwing Miz across the ring. Miz went to counter one of Rey’s moves, but Rey countered that one. Rey shoves Miz into the ropes and gets ready for the 619, but Alberto Del Rio interrupts, and Miz climbs out of the ring. Rey slides out of the ring, but gets face planted into the apron by Miz. Miz throws him back in and goes for a cover, but Rey kicks out at two. Miz dominates Rey, putting him up on the top rope, and climbing up after him. Miz sets up a suplex, but Rey throws him off and hits a seated senton, then flies into a lateral press on Miz. Miz shoves Rey back and then kicks him in the stomach. Rey kicks him in the head and Miz kicks out of the pin. Miz goes to hit him, but Rey gets a drop toe hold on Miz and goes for the 619, but Alberto is on the apron and distracts him. Rey set s up again, but Riley distracts the ref and Alberto takes Rey down. Miz sneaks up a cover.

WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.

Rey chases Alberto Del Rio down the ramp.

“As I said earlier, both The Miz and Randy Orton will face former champions tonight. Miz just faced Rey Mysterio and later tonight, Randy Orton will compete in a handicapped match against Alex Riley and his partner, former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, David Arquette.”

Well, way to give a match to Randy. Because legitimately building up momentum is overrated.

Still to come, the Diva Clusterfuck Battle Royal for the Diva of the Year Slammy. And John Morrison and Sheamus have yet another match next.

@kickoutblog Miz Girl should do a run-in and cost Miz the match.

@TKeep123 Is it wrong I’m looking forward to the Cross-brand DIVA Battle Royal? …Ok, and hoping for wardrobe malfunction? #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

Edge is here to give out the Slammy for the Oh SNAP! Meltdown of the Year, a category he is nominated for. He says that it’s an honor to be out there tonight to present the Slammy and he’s pretty sure Kane was supposed to be his co-presenter tonight because he’s probably having a Meltdown of his own right now. Right now, Edge needs a co-presenter, one he’s comfortable with, one that he knows well and has had chemistry with…

If you close your eyes you’ll find naked truth revealed…

I marked out right here. I really did. Edge asks how his pec is and Christian says it’s fine. Christian says that he hopes Del Rio wins, because he and his Peeps haven’t forgotten what happened. The nominees are: Show destroying Swagger’s trophies, Alberto del Rio freaking out all over Rey Mysterio, Edge destroying the RAW General Manager’s laptop (“You’ve got the crazy eyes!”), or Batista quitting the WWE.

Edge!!

Edge says that he appreciates the Slammy, but for Meltdown of the Year? He doesn’t get it. He’s always been calm and rational, but sure he may have lost his cool a few times because of a RAW General Manager who hides behind a computer, and has no guts and Christian tries to stop Edge. Christian’s phone goes off and he says that he’s just received an email… nah, just kidding. He is the RAW General Manager.

Sunday, Edge will be the World Heavyweight Champion, but after all these years one thing has remained the same: Michael Cole is still a massive tool.

King Sheamus vs John Morrison

Sheamus shoves Morrison right into the corner, then slaps him hard, and then proceeds to just beat the hell out of Morrison. Morrison then beats the crap out of Sheamus. Sheamus goes right through the damn ref to get to Morrison, then Morrison gets the momentum… I don’t even know.

Nobody wins due to double count out.

More refs come out to try to get them apart, but the two of them are vowing death to the other, but still.

“Sheamus, Morrison, it’s obvious this issue of yours isn’t going to be resolved tonight, so I’ve decided to raise the stakes. Not only will the two of you will compete at TLC Sunday, but the winner will become the next Number One Contender to the WWE Championship. The winner will be the man who gets the contract that is suspended above the ring. That’s right, the two of you will compete in a Number One Contender’s Ladder Match.”

Sheamus yells at Cole, then grabs a ladder. He then slams it into Morrison, who walked right the hell into it, and then climbs in the right to further beat the hell out of Morrison, and throws him out of the ring, into the ladder.

Still to come, Randy will face Riley and Arquette, Cena and Otunga will face up.

@Niki_Sushi How do you win an award for beating up a computer? How do you win an award for puking on someone? The same way, akshully. #BWF #RAW

@seraphalexiel Honestly, I would have preferred if Del Rio and Mysterio got the ladder match

@RingsideRants Oh damn…. a potential Morrison-Miz title program in the works??

@kickoutblog Christian > Edge. Always

@WWEsAngel_Nef Why yes. Yes you are a tool Michael Cole. Edge is ftfw! #WWE #bwf #Slammys

@TKeep123 Christian get’s a Anonymous GM message on his iPhone … ok, just kidding! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@HitTheRopes Damn, that sh*t had to hurt! #Sheamus #Morrison #wwe

Presenting the Slammy for Knucklehead Moment of the Year is… JTG and William Regal? SERIOUSLY?! I love Regal, but seriously? With JTG? Regal at least just shakes his head at JTG.

Nominees: Show unmasks a bald CM Punk, Mae Young PWNS Lay-Cool, Beth Phoenix eliminates Khali via… kiss?!, and Santino Marella is out-danced by… Vladimir Kozlov?!

Mae Young beating LayCool… But Lay Cool is totally here. God. Layla says she’d thank Mae Young, but they don’t get basic cable at the nursing home, and the award is Flawless.

@HitTheRopes JTG screws up the announcement. #ReadingReadingYeahYeah

@WWEsAngel_Nef You know JTG needs to fire that gimmick and be more Regal ish. #bwf #WWE #Slammys

@kickoutblog A battle royal to determine Diva of the Year? Doesn’t that just determine the Diva of December 13th?

Diva Clusterfuck Battle Royal to determine Diva of the Year

Layla, Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Maryse, Brie and Nikki Bella, Melina, Eve Torres, Diva’s Champion Natalya, Gail Kim, Kaitlyn, and Tamina? Anyway, Kaitlyn and Rosa are eliminated first, Tamina, Bella Whore 1, Eve Torres, Bella Whore 2, Maryse, Kelly Kelly, Melina (after a Glam Slam into the ropes), Layla, Beth Phoenix, Gail, Alicia Fox, and Diva’s Champion Natalya.

Michelle McCool wins.

“Celebrate all you want tonight, ladies, but this Sunday may be a different story. At TLC, LayCool will meet WWE Diva’s Champion Natalya and her partner, Beth Phoenix, in the first ever Diva’s Table Match.”

Next up, Edge takes on Jack Swagger.

@kickoutblog How long have they been using the “HERE COME ALL THE DIVAS!!” music? It needs to go

@Niki_Sushi …. I think LayCool just got royally fucked. #justsayin #BWF #RAW

@seraphalexiel Wait. Did they say Divas tag team tables match? Did I hear that right? DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?

@TKeep123 Kaitlyn! Welcome to #RAW! Oops, bye. #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

I’m a horrible person for continuing to laugh at Kane pushing Paul Bearer off the edge of the second floor… I really am.

You think you know me…

Edge vs Jack Swagger

Edge and Swagger lock up, but Swagger gets the momentum and slams Edge down to the ground. Swagger keeps momentum over Edge, throwing Edge across the ring and into the opposite corner. Edge, however, takes no shit, and beats Swagger, who manages to come back by dropping Edge stomach-first into his knee. Swagger goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Swagger then puts Edge in… a submission my brain isn’t providing a name for right now, but Edge fights to his feet and then eats the heel of Swagger’s boot. Swagger goes for another cover, but Edge kicks out. Here, Cole points out to us that TLC means Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Thanks Cole! :B Edge fights off of Swagger’s shoulders and drops Swagger straight to the mat. Edge ducks a clothesline and slams into Swagger before dropping him to the mat and going for a cover. Swagger kicks out at two, and Edge goes to Whip him, but gets thrown to the mat, and he kicks out of Swagger’s cover at two. Swagger runs across the ring and goes to drop on Edge, but Edge lifts his legs and Swagger tries to lock in the ankle lock, but Edge rolls over. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench Powerbomb, which we haven’t seen in forever, and Edge counters out of it, dropping Swagger to the ground. He sets up for the Spear and hits it.

Edge wins via pinfall.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage talking about David Arquette. Miz says that he’ll be out there too. Arquette runs up and says that he and Miz have a lot in common: they have Hollywood careers, they’re both awesome. Riley says that Orton is dangerous and Arquette is delusional. Miz says he has one goal in mind: To put Orton through a table.

@kickoutblog Edge vs. Jack Swagger will be preempted for Jack Swagger vs. his t-shirt.

@Niki_Sushi I’ve always wondered what exactly they stare off into the distance at… is there a target saying ‘LOOK HERE’? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Edge v. Swagger …not a bad match tonight! Edge wins! THPEAR! THPEAR! THPEAR! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

Cool Smackdown vs RAW 2011 award thing.

WWE Moment of the Year Slammy will be presented by The Big Show! Show walks over to get a better mic, and says that there are many legendary moments in the WWE, and here are this year’s nominees: Cena rules fairly and is fired from the WWE. Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind during Triple H’s farewell speech. Edge Spears Jericho through the barrier. Shawn Michaels’ final match against The Undertaker.

Shawn Michaels!

Shawn couldn’t be here tonight, but he is on the Tron!!! Shawn says he can’t give away his location for fear the WWE would try to get him to come back, and he thanks everyone for making his life worth living, and Shawn tweeted that this part was taped earlier, so it’s NOT LIVE YOU LIARS! Shawn thanks everyone for the ride, and says that he doesn’t miss it, but misses the fans. Hopefully, we can all see each other very soon, and says good luck!

Later tonight, Cena takes on Otunga. Up next, Randy Orton will get great momentum going into TLC by defeating these two nobodies in Riley and Arquette… I mean… Will have a match.

@FrankWWEClown The moment of the year HAS to be HBK/Taker. I was blessed to see it live, and I will never forget it. Brought tears to my eyes. #WWE

@TKeep123 Birth of AUSTIN 3:16 ….. still sends a chill down my spine.. Thank you Steve Austin! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@seraphalexiel Shawn Michaels, you were like no other. I’m happy that you’re happy. Thank you for everything

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley and David Arquette

Looks like Riley will start out with Orton, because he didn’t learn last week, and the two go to lock up, but Orton is obviously pissed, and he beats the hell out of Riley in the corner. He then Whips Riley, who counters it, and then Riley is smacked to the ground. Orton uppercuts him, then goes for the cover, but Riley kicks out at two. Riley is then hurled around the ring, but Orton runs right into Riley’s feet. Arquette gets tagged in and jumps on Orton, who looks at him like he’s an idiot, and then kicks him in the stomach. Orton starts pounding the mat, and wisely tags in Riley who looks at him like he’s an idiot, but Orton drops him in a back breaker. Orton then smashes his foot into Riley’s face. But, Riley moves when Orton goes to drop his knee in Riley’s face, but Orton still kicks out of the cover. Orton fights back against Riley, and then delivers a knee to Orton’s midsection as Orton goes to him. When the ref isn’t looking, Arquette has Orton in a headlock. Riley then walks into Orton’s fist, but then Riley runs into the clothesline. Orton then scoop slams Riley and jerks around, chucking Riley back to the mat. Riley gets up, Orton hits the RKO, and that’s all she wrote.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

After the match, Miz slams the Money in the Bank briefcase into Orton’s’ head, and Arquette is going to help him this time around. Like a dumbass. Miz gets the table set up, and gets Orton up. Punk pretends that he has no idea what Miz is going to do, and Miz and Arquette go to double suplex Orton into the table, but Orton counters and beats Miz down. He goes to power bomb Miz, but Arquette gets him out of it. Miz rolls out of the ring, and Arquette is left to take the power bomb through the table.

Coming up, John Cena takes on David Otunga.

@TKeep123 David Arquette….rocking Evel Kenevil ninja-style! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy

@Niki_Sushi Tool of the Year award. Who would win? David Arquette or Michael Cole? #BWF #RAW

Cole comes out and says that 2010 had some great quotes. The Nominees for the And I Quote Line of the Year are from Santino, Cena, Edge… and so many others. My favorite is Cody’s “Don’t breathe on me”.

Seriously? Michael Cole. I think he’s lying. He pulls the ‘I wasn’t expecting this’ thing and pulls out a paper. The thanks the non-existent Cole Miners and The Miz, and the sound guys cut him off. Good. Anyway. Superstar of the Year awards is next.

@kickoutblog “Crack binge with Amy Winehouse” and “Of course you have an email you idiot, just read it.”

@HitTheRopes Wooo!!! @TitusNXT always makes it a win!

@seraphalexiel “Duct tape? Are you serious?”

@FrankWWEClown I’ll be accepting my award for “And I Quote of the Year” for….”I HATE YOU HEATH SLATER, I HATE YOU!!!” Tootin’ my own horn. 🙂 #WWE

Teddy Long is going to present the Superstar of the Year Slammy! The nominees are Edge, WWE Champion The Miz, World Heavyweight Champion Kane, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton.

John Cena.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUFFLES TOO!

Cena comes out and thanks everyone for not giving up on him. He says that this award was our award to give away and he finds it amazing that we gave it to him because up to an hour ago he didn’t have a job. It’s been a crazy year: he was forced to join the Nexus (only good thing being that he could pee in Barrett’s coffee), he was fired (and got to tailgate with the WWE Universe), and there’s magic on Bourbon Street. Cena says that what happened to him was his own fault, but he is now back fulltime on RAW. He will continue to be a man of his word. He has gotten to each and every member of the Nexus except Otunga and Barrett. Tonight, when Otunga steps in the ring, he doesn’t care if he brings Hasky, McG, the dude from something (AXE MURDERER!) or the chick from Wendy’s, Otunga is getting hurt. Sunday at TLC, every ounce of frustration, misery, anger will be unleashed. This Sunday, at TLC, we have his word: Wade Barrett will be destroyed.

John Cena vs. David Otunga

Barrett takes the mic and says that before the match starts, he wants to remind Cena what happened earlier, what’s going to happen tonight, and what will happen on Sunday.

Otunga turns around and high fives Nexus, or forearm bump, or something, except Barrett. Otunga walks down to the ring. Fina-fuckin-lly.

And now, like last week with Barrett, the Nexus slowly walks out on Otunga.

Cena, however, wants to fight, so he forces Otunga into the ring and smacks Otunga Show-style., then again on the back. Cena knees Otunga in the stomach, and chucks Otunga to the mat. Cena Whips Otunga across the ring, then runs his shoulder into Otunga’s face. Cena throws Otunga into the corner, then Whips him back around the ring, and Otunga finally moves. Otunga wails on Cena, bouncing around like a ping pong ball, and then goes back to Cena. Otunga goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out. Otunga goes to lift Cena, but Cena drops him with a drop toe hold and locks in the STF. Otunga taps out.

John Cena wins via submission.

Cena grabs a chair as Barrett walks out with a chair again. Cena then proceeds to use that chair on Otunga. And again. And again. And again. Cena then drags Otunga to the middle of the ring, and then massacres Otunga with it. Barrett seems more amused than scared, Cena.

So, there’s the Slammys! I have an idea in mind for something for those of you who tweet for me every week, but I have to see if it’ll work out. Keep an eye on my Twitter, and on the BWF website, because I may post it there if I don’t wait until next week. Thanks a lot, and I’ll be back for you next week!

ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts: Ride it ’til the wheels fall off

December 9, 2010 3:04 am 3 Comments

Welcome once again to the show that never ends, I’m so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside!

Yes folks, it is I, the patron saint of Bored Wrestling Fans around the world, ThinkSoJoE, back with another ThinkSoJoE’s thoughts. If you’re wondering about the title of this week’s article, “Ride it ’til the wheels fall off,” which you’ll recognize as a line from R-Truth’s “What’s Up,” I actually literally did just that to my car this week. Actually, I wasn’t in the car when it happened, and luckily the people who were borrowing my car at the time weren’t hurt. A lesson for those of you who, like myself, don’t know a damned thing about cars – if you must use a donut spare, it goes on the rear wheels of a front wheel drive vehicle. Nobody told me that, and three struts broke off of my car and the wheel fell off.

Anywho, NXT Season 4 started up this week. Nobody in the United States gives a crap because we don’t get it on television anymore, and I don’t know about any of you, but the web feed on WWE.com is extremely pixelated on my computer. Rumor going into last week’s announcement of this season’s rookie/pro combinations was that Michael Cole was initially slated to be a pro, but was nixed at the last minute. So here’s my take. Rather than have Cole start the season off as an NXT pro, he gets RKO’d on RAW the night before the season premiere. Cole will undoubtedly seek some kind of protection from future attacks, so have him interrupt an NXT broadcast (webcast?) and proclaim himself as a pro, have his rookie destroy one of the other rookies, and take their spot. Cole mentors the guy, and in exchange, the rookie watches over Cole on RAW. Sound good?

Ahem. CO-BRA, CO-BRA, CO-BRA! New WWE Tag Team Champions this week in Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov, with the major assist to John Cena, who distracted Justin Gabriel just long enough to allow Santino’s Cobra to strike.

Ah, John Cena. Looks like he’ll be fired for all of four weeks – you know that The Nexus isn’t going anywhere and that without Barrett, there’s nobody fit to lead the group, in my humble opinion. Look, factions don’t work well without their original leader, save for an HBK-less DX in the late 90s. Nexus without Barrett would be like The 4 Horsemen without Ric Flair, the nWo without either Hogan or Nash at the helm, or the Straight Edge Society without CM Punk. Besides, the t-shirts they just released last week feature Barrett’s picture right on them. He ain’t going anywhere.

I do love the Top Rope Nexus t-shirts that they were all wearing this week on RAW. Too bad they cost $40. BTW, if you’re looking for something to get me for Christmas, get me something for the benefit of those with flash photography.

Hmm. Edge got to pick the stipulation for his match with Kane at TLC and picked – wait for it… wait for it… – a TLC match! You’re kidding!

Jeff Hardy allegedly showed up in no condition to perform this past Sunday at TNA Final Resolution. Yet, he still managed to go out and wrestle. I didn’t see the match, but I’ve heard that Matt Morgan carried him through it. Good thing for TNA and Jeff Hardy that Matt Morgan does have a pretty good wrestling mind. Hardy was back in court earlier today, but I’ve heard no more info as of this time.

Hey, here’s some interesting legal news. The Tennessee Titans are planning to challenge WWE’s trademark of the word “Titantron.” Here’s the problem with that. WWE was using the word “Titantron,” and likely had the trademark, at least two years before the NFL franchise changed their name to the Titans. The team adopted the name in 1999, nearly 11 years ago, and are just now challenging this trademark. Good luck with that one.

Hey, here’s a random thought – if Jeff Hardy is supposed to be in court, isn’t that something that would prevent him from leaving the country and going somewhere like, say, Abu Dhabi? Ah well, I digress.

I guess that’s it for now. I’ll see you all again real soon!

Power Poll 11/10/10

November 11, 2010 6:04 am Leave a Comment

Power Poll No. 23 11/10/10

1. Wade Barrett (5)

Barrett’s assertive leadership over The Nexus has gained him more power amongst the Power Poll voters. (My vote: 2)

2. Edge (2)

On the face side of the proverbial fence again, Edge has once again started to run roughshod over the Blue Brand. Pinning David Otunga to give Team SmackDown the victory over The Nexus helps The Rated R Superstar maintain his position at number two. (My vote: 6)

3. Randy Orton (3)

The voices in his head may not be enough come Survivor Series with the odds stacked firmly against him. Despite finding himself on the losing end of a Wade Barrett pinfall victory for Nexus, The Viper stands strong at number 3. (My vote: 5)

4. The Miz (7)

How do you bounce back up the ranks of the Power Poll? Dropping the WWE Champion skull first into the canvas when you’re supposed to be his partner certainly helps. (My vote: 4)

5. Kane (1)

The World Heavyweight Champion drops way down this week, finding himself on the winning end of a tag team match that was dominated by another member of his team, who happens to be his Survivor Series opponent. (My vote: 9)

6. John Cena (6)

Hilarious promos and wins over future endeavor fodder are fun sometimes, but not when you’re John Cena, apparently, as Mr. Invisible once again charts at number 6. (My vote: 3)

7. Alberto Del Rio (10)

Del Rio continues to impress the Power Poll voters every week, and has found his way back up to number 7. (My vote: N/A)

8. Jeff Hardy (9)

Despite having to face Matt Morgan instead of his scheduled opponent Mr. Anderson, Jeff Hardy shined in the main event at Turning Point, retaining his gold in the process. (My vote: 7)

9. Daniel Bryan (4)

With yet another strong showing in a big match setting, Daniel Bryan continues to show the world that he is the absolute best at what he does. (My vote: N/A)

10. Santino Marella (NR)

Living proof that non-wrestling segments can be just as – if not more – entertaining as the matches on a wrestling show, Santino’s tea party with “Shay-moose” was hilarious enough to boost the Milan Miracle – for the first time, I’m willing to bet – onto the Power Poll (My vote: 1)

Dropped out: Matt Morgan

I also voted for: Rob Van Dam (8) and Vladimir Kozlov (10)

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wonderful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, Smarks Anonymous, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com, Wrestling Nuggets and Wrestlespective. Follow the Power Poll voters on Twitter.

SmackDown 10/22/10

October 24, 2010 1:22 pm 3 Comments

It’s the go home show before Bragging Rights – Does SmackDown Know the Enemy? Indeed, it’s RAW, and tonight the Monday Night superstars invade the Blue Brand! It’s Randy Orton vs. Kane in our Main Event tonight, and the two teams for Bragging Rights kick things off in the ring as Teddy Long presides over them.

(more…)

RAW 10.18.10

October 18, 2010 11:10 pm 4 Comments

Sorry about no RAW review last week. I originally planned to do it on Tuesday, but I completely forgot about a midterm, and real life caught up with me and bitch slapped be across the face. Anyway, there’s one gonna be up tonight, and that’s all that matters, right?

Tonight, John Cena will team up with WWE Champion Randy Orton against the men that got him into Nexus in the first place, Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris. How will Nexus feel about this?

RAW starts with Teddy Long, of all people, coming out. He says he’s here tonight because he can. Tonight, he’s going to take over RAW.

“Get out of my ring. Get out of my ring, now. You have no business being here.”

Teddy interrupts and says that Smackdown vs Raw this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and brings out the Bragging Rights trophy. Teddy says that the trophy belongs to Smackdown, and they laid the Smackdown on RAW last year.

“Get out of my ring, or else.”

Teddy says he’s not threatening him? He’ll show him, or else. Teddy climbs out of the ring and he starts arguing with Cole.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

Teddy shoves the mic at Cole and goes up to the podium. He says that the Smackdown General Manager has an announcement to make. Right now, the RAW GM is going to be disconnected. He then introduces the Big Show and the rest of Team Smackdown. Edge, Alberto del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio.

AWESOME!

Turns out Team RAW wasn’t too happy about that, and Captain Miz comes out with a laughing Alex Riley. Miz says this is the team that’s supposed to take over RAW? It looks like Smurf Village next to a power plant. Miz reminds us that he was the sole RAW superstar to win at Bragging Rights last year, is the team captain this year, and will lead RAW over Team Smackdown. The trophy and the Bragging Rights that go with it, will go over to the A-Show. Miz then brings out the rest of Team RAW: CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sheamus. Miz then tells them to get out of their ring, or they’ll make them get out.

Team RAW starts walking down to the ring, and then the brawl starts in the ring between the two teams. While they’re all killing each other, I wanna say that it’s really cool to see Ezekiel Jackson back. Miz then grabs his team and exits the ring, saving that they need to save it for Sunday. Show takes a mic and says, don’t go back there and start a ruckus. He gets it, it’s his ring. Smackdown will get out of the ring, willingly, if Miz will face Show one-on-one in a Captain vs Captain match. Miz agrees to it.

Still to come, WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty.

@legendkiller515 will someone please smack the hell outta cole #wwe #raw #bwf

@CawCawBang Go away Cole you ugly troll

@Lunna1969: Smurfette! Lmao! W2g Miz #RAW #WWE

We come back to the Tag Team Champions standing in the ring.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs The Hart Dynasty with Natalya

Rhodes and Kidd start out, Kidd going for McIntyre before Rhodes plants him and gets the advantage. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, who dominates Kidd. McIntyre plants Kidd’s face into the barrier before getting him back in the ring and tagging in Rhodes. McIntyre drops Kidd onto the ropes and holds him there for Rhodes to kick him in the ribs. Rhodes then tags back in McIntyre and they throw Kidd into the turnbuckle. Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who hits a drop kick on McIntyre and gets the momentum back on their side. He then hits two big kicks on Rhodes and McIntyre. He goes for a cover on McIntyre, but he kicks out at two. Smith hits a running power slam and goes for a cover, but Rhodes breaks it up. Rhodes goes to attack Smith, but Kidd attacks him. They set up for the Hart Attack, but Smith decides to attempt a Sharpshooter last minute. Smith gets distracted by Kidd and McIntyre hits the Future Shock DDT for the win.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

Natalya proceeds to yell at David Hart Smith about how they’re a team.

Backstage, Cena’s thoughtful and Randy Orton walks up. He says that they should lay all the cards on the table. He can tell that Cena being a part of Nexus is eating him up, but he doesn’t think that it would stop him from helping Barrett take the WWE Championship away from him. So, if Cena helps, Orton won’t have any problem punting him in the skull. Cena says that if he even tries, Cena will break that leg off.

@kickoutblog We need Bret to fix these… broken Harts. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

@HitTheRopes Look, Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre are offering their 2 cents…. Get it? 2 cents. (tag titles look like 2 pennies) #rimshot #wwe

Goldust with Aksana vs. Zack Ryder

Damn. I hate that they won’t play Ryder’s theme song. I jam out to it when they play it. Anyway.

Ted DiBiase and Maryse make their way out to the stage to watch the match as Ryder gets an early advantage over Goldust, which Goldust gets back by slapping Zack in the face. Goldust hits the final cut, and the match is over.

Goldust wins via pinfall.

Ted DiBiase makes his way to the ring and attacks Goldust from behind. Maryse went to grab the Million Dollar Belt, but Aksana got it. Maryse then chases Maryse out of the ring to try to get the belt back. Goldust gets up in the ring and hits the Final Cut on DiBiase too. I admit, I’m loving the weird Goldust’s return.

Still to come, Smackdown vs RAW starts early as the Big Show takes on The Miz.

@kickoutblog I kinda wish they would’ve done that video like those old Disney sing-a-longs with a bouncing R-Truth thread.

@WWEsAngel_Nef Bwahahahahahahahaha <—-My reaction to R-Truth’s video package. #WWE

@HitTheRopes Maryse and Aksana face to face. It’s as if Maryse was looking in a mirror…. a mirror that is worn, dusty, and doesn’t show sexy #wwe

Barrett is standing with Nexus and Cena walks in. Barrett says that he wants Cena to test Harris and McGuillicutty, to see if they’re good enough to join the Nexus. Cena said that Barrett just told him to go out there and give it everything he’s got, and those are his orders? He asks what the catch is, and Barrett says that there’s no catch: tonight he has the opportunity to show the WWE Universe the Cena they know and love, then orders him to get him a glass of water.

The kid from Role Models and the new Knucklehead movie, Bobbie Thompson, is playing Smackdown vs RAW with Show vs Miz, and Show wins. Miz then picks him up and to tell him that Miz has a surprise for him. Show then takes Bobbie, and puts him down. Bobbie then says that Show has to knock Miz out for him.

Cena comes back with a glass of water and hands it to Barrett, who says it wasn’t difficult. Barrett wants Cena to know that he’s really enjoying it, then splashes the water in Cena’s face.

@kickoutblog Miz is assaulting children now? #favoritewrestlerever

@FrankWWEClown Heath Slater, stop smirking, you little creep. #WWE #RAW

@CawCawBang When did little chris rock come in?

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WATER BOY!

John Cena and WWE Champion Randy Orton vs Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris

Is it just me, or does Husky look like a pedobear remake? Hmm…

Nexus come up to the stage to watch the match. Cena and McGuillicutty start, and Cena starts unleashing on McGuillicutty. Cena hurls McGuillicutty around the ring before throwing McGuillicutty after a vicious looking fisherman suplex.

@redsandman99 I think it should be illegal for Husky Harris to not wear a shirt

@kickoutblog Should be interesting to see what Husky & Imperfect can do when they don’t have to carry a keg.

Now Randy and McGuillicutty are in the ring, and McGuillicutty kicks out of a cover as Orton tags in Cena. Cena hits McGuillicutty, then goes to take Harris off the apron, then running into a dropkick. Harris gets his chance at retribution and beats up on Cena in the corner. Harris goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris tags in McGuillicutty who beats up on Cena and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out. Harris tags himself in and seems to get stuck for a minute between the ropes, throwing himself into Cena’s face. He goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris has Cena in the middle of the ring in a headlock, but Cena fights to his feet before Harris puts his knee in Cena’s spine. Cena’s flat on the ring floor, but rolls out of the way before Harris squishes him flatter than a pancake hits him. Orton gets in the ring with McGuillicutty and hits a scoop slam. McGuillicutty rolled out to the apron, hoping it would save him, and Orton pulls him between the top and middle rope before hitting the DDT. He points to Barrett, getting ready for the RKO, pushing Harris into Cena for an Attitude Adjustment. Orton then hits the RKO on McGuillicutty and pins him for the win.

WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena win via pinfall.

Cena seems content that he, for once, was able to fight in his own way and won, again. He offers Orton a hand, but Barrett tells him to hold it right there, and tells him not to shake Orton’s hand, and then tells him to get out of the ring, and it’s an order. Cena looks at Orton for a minute, then climbs out of the ring. Barrett says that Cena has the best spot in the house to witness the demise of the Viper, as Nexus surrounds the ring. Orton looks at Cena and then hits Barrett before throwing Slater out of the ring and then is ambushed by Nexus outside the ring. Nexus gets Orton back in the ring, but Orton manages to fight back for a minute before getting overwhelmed again. The crowd is cheering for Cena, but he hasn’t moved. Slater hits his finisher, for the first time since NXT, then Otunga does, then Gabriel. Barrett tells Cena to get in the ring, and Cena does so. Barrett says that he wants Cena to give Orton an Attitude Adjustment, and Cena says that that’s enough. Barrett says do it, or Cena’s fired. Cena gets Randy up to his feet, then on his shoulders. Barrett then tells Cena to give Randy to him. Barrett then hits the Wasteland on Orton. Cena walks out of the ring and starts walking up the ramp, shaking his head.

@kickoutblog Even better joke: Husky Harris is only heavier because he’s being weighed on the metric system. #Canada

@HitTheRopes Slater and Otunga need to go back to the lab and come up with a better finishing move. #wwe

Vickie comes out, just when everyone thought that it couldn’t get worse, but guess what! This is RAW!! Vickie says that she is happy to take credit for the Smackdown superstars appearing on RAW tonight, and there is one special superstar who has a special twinkle in his eyes, because his eyes are only on her: The Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph says that people confuse his cockiness when it’s really just confidence. He can’t blame them, he’s got it all: The looks, the shredded physique, gorgeous head of hair, and that’s not the best part. The most beautiful, intelligent woman on the face of this earth is with him. She’s the ray of sunshine when his skies are gray, she makes his heart go pitter-patter—

Daniel Bryan interrupts and says that he may not be a lady’s man (to which Dolph replies with, “I noticed”), and says that even he could do better than Vickie. Bryan says that he doesn’t have the movie star looks, peroxide infested hair, but he does have the ability to capitalize on any mistake in that ring, and the ability to make Dolph tap out. So, he proposes the United States Champion vs the Intercontinental Champion at Bragging Rights. Vickie seems to be encouraging this. Dolph says that he accepts, but why wait until Sunday? Why don’t they do this right- and then slaps Bryan. Dolph then steps behind Vickie, who steps in front of Dolph. Bryan then side-steps Vickie and tackles Dolph, preventing him from leaving. Bryan then locks in the LaBell Lock, making Dolph tap. Then, the Divas randomly come out and make their way into the ring with Vickie. The Divas surround Vickie and tell her to leave the ring. Gail throws a bucket of glitter at her, then Eve pours it on her. The Divas then seem to be paying way too much attention to Daniel, and they all start to dance with him… and it’s painful.

Anyway, hopefully Captain vs Captain can save RAW… because my head is already spinning.

@bethsharae Oh no! Not glitter!!! #WWE #Raw I guess I should scream all the time at crafts time.

@TKeep123 How can Dolph say this crap with a straight face? (Better check the Wellness policy again!) #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Vickie Guerrero is amazing, why does she need that many zippers? Because fuck you, that’s why!

@Niki_Sushi I don’t know which is more obnoxious – ‘EXCUSE ME!’ or ‘AND I QUOTE!’… #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes: Oh, @WWEDanielBryan, in wrestling you might be best in the world…. at dancing, not so much. LOL

Natalya vs Alicia Fox

Let’s see how short this match is! I’m going to time it!

Alicia slaps Nat a few good times and then tries to shout out to Calgary. Natalya then throws Alicia into the turnbuckle, twice, and then throws her across the ring. Nat tries to go for the Sharpshooter, but Alicia grabs the ropes. Natalya pulls her back, and locks in the Sharpshooter, making Alicia tap.

Natalya wins via submission.

LayCool interferes and says it’s a beautiful moment in a NOT beautiful hometown. LayCool says they would love Canada, but it’s so cold and they have watered down beer, and they say ‘eh’ all the time. And they see Harts everywhere. They say the Harts don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, but in the loony bin. LayCool then starts to go into the ring, but Natalya’s ready. Nat gets Layla, but Michelle comes in. Michelle then puts Natalya in the Sharpshooter, Layla takes a picture, and Natalya counters. Lay tries to help Michelle, and nearly gets put in the Sharpshooter herself. LayCool runs off.

Oh, overall Diva MATCH time, about a minute and fifteen seconds.

Teddy, Show, and Hornswoggle are talking backstage, and Josh Matthews says that it’s rather brazen of them to show up on RAW with Team Smackdown. Hornswoggle grabs a Team Smackdown flag and the entire Smackdown Roster starts heading out.

@kickoutblog If I were The Undertaker and had to listen Michelle McCool talk all the time, I’d want to be buried alive too

@CawCawBang Nattie don’t play along with Laycool’s bullshit

@bethsharae Alicia is gonna throw a hip out if she swings them any harder. #WWE #Raw

@WWEsAngel_Nef God I hate Alicia Fox’s walk. I can’t stand it. She’s gonna break a freaking hip. #WWE

So, the longest part of this show is the Stand Up For WWE video package. So… Yeah.

Oh, we’re back. Cena’s walking away and Barrett stops him, saying he’s not finished with him or Orton yet. There we go. Next up, Team RAW’s captain The Miz will take on Team Smackdown’s captain, The Big Show… and all of Smackdown?

@Niki_Sushi So.. I’m loving this video. Because it’s showing where the WWE goes, and not just on land and the airwaves. They reach hearts-who else does?

@CawCawBang I’m so happy and proud to be a WWE fan

@kickoutblog And “Do you smell what Barack is cookin?” is still amazing. #TheRockObama

@WWEsAngel_Nef LOL God Vince McMahon is good at what he does. Way to do some quick damage control. Nice video package. #WWE

We’re finally going to introduce the guest star, Bobbie J Thompson. Sweet. He says he loves the boos and to keep them coming. He says that he’s there to introduce the man who’s going to leave Team Smackdown to a victory over Team RAW: The Big Show. No, but seriously. Where’s the muzzle on that kid?

Show comes out with Hornswoggle behind him, waving the flag, and Team Smackdown follows him out. Actually, all of Smackdown follows him out.

Miz comes out, but tells Alex Riley to stay behind and walks down to the ring alone. He pauses though, grinning and motioning for everyone else to come out. Team RAW comes out, followed by the RAW roster.

The Big Show vs The Miz

Show closes in on Miz, rips his shirt, and slaps his chest. Show continues to rip up the RAW shirt and slaps his chest again. Show then Irish Whips Miz into a corner, and Show throws him out of the ring. Smackdown closes in, and RAW starts to close in too. Show attacks RAW, and when Smackdown comes in, Show rolls in the ring.

Teddy Long comes out and says that since Bragging Rights is only six days away and everyone from both rosters is out there, he says that they have themselves a Smackdown vs RAW battle royal, and they’re going to do it right now.

Now, I hate reviewing battle royals. So, I hope you watched RAW to figure out what happens, because I’m only going to tell you the winner.

@TKeep123 Ok, I’m old, but the Red and Blue is reminding me of “Rock’em Sock’em Robots!” #WWE #RAW #BWF

Hornswoggle beats Cole up and takes his spot as an announcer, and no one knows what the fuck is going on in the ring. I can’t tell you what’s going on, but Swagger loses his mind and puts Edge in an ankle lock. Toward the end here, a bunch of RAW guys got eliminated and Smackdown is doing a good job holding their own. The last Smackdown guy ends up as The Big Show against Sheamus, Bryan, Jackson, and Miz. Down goes Bryan, then Jackson. Miz and Sheamus work together to get Show over the top rope, and no one remembered Edge wasn’t technically eliminated. So, Edge and Show are the only two left in the ring.

Team Smackdown wins.

Nexus is watching backstage, and Barrett says that all of them, and Cena, are going to witness what’s going to happen Sunday when he’s crowned WWE Champion. Barrett tells Cena to raise his hand as a token of victory. Cena shoves Slater and Gabriel out of the way and raises Barrett’s hand before walking away.

And that’s all she wrote, folks. Daniel Bryan dancing is burned behind my retina, so I’m going to go watch… something to get the image out of my head. Good night.

WWE Superstars

July 30, 2010 9:55 am Leave a Comment

Hey everybody. It’s your favorite WWE Superstars reviewer. I am here this week with actual thoughts this week instead of the generic results. Enjoy!

Match 1: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and Primo Colon

In the opening minutes of the match, Santino pulled off a Primo cartwheel and started power-walking off the ropes as William Regal just watched in confusion. Fear the Cobra! If he wasn’t funny, he would have been released a long time ago. I think this might be a last ditch effort to do something with Kozlov. Everything else has failed, so why not put him in a tag team. Primo has seemingly found a home on Superstars and lucky to still have a job. Regal is being underutilized. He was perfect as the GM on RAW.

As far as the match goes, the end comes when Primo goes for high flying cross body off the top rope and Kozlov catches him and drops him with the Iron Curtain. The winners of the match are Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella.

Match 2: Chris Masters vs Caylen Croft of the Dudebusters

Why haven’t they done more with Chris Masters? He’s the type of guy who should be in the Mark Henry role or chasing the US Title. I can’t stand the Dudebusters. They suck hard! Croft spends the majority of the match getting beat down like the jobber he should be, but he gets the victory after hitting a chop block and a DDT. The world is in complete disaray now as Caylen Croft picks up the victory over Chris Masters.

Main Event: MVP w/Percy “Oh Yeah” Watson vs Chavo Guerrero

Once upon a time there was a heavily hyped new superstar on Smackdown. He was pushed and eventually became a multiple time US Champion. He then was moved to RAW and is now lost on Superstars most weeks. That superstar is MVP.

Once upon a time there was another superstar who was part of a great wrestling family. He was a very good Cruiserweight, but then he became Kerwin White. After tragedy struck, he re-adopted his God given name and became the WWECW Champion. He lost in 8 seconds to a Big Red Monster, became a forgotten member of another family (La Familia), and then became a forgotten member of the WWE roster. He is now a staple of Superstars too. His name is Chavo Guerrero.

MVP picks up the win with the Play of the Day. Let this be a lesson; If you have a heavily hyped debut on Smackdown, you will probably end up on Superstars eventually. This means you, Alberto Del Rio. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon enough on WWE Superstars. And I’m hoping to see all of you again next week for another exhilirating show.

RAW 6.14.10

June 15, 2010 1:35 pm Leave a Comment

Sorry this took so long everyone. I was fighting with technology all night.

What’s up everyone!! Tonight, RAW comes from my home state of North Carolina!! What is going on with the Season One NXT Rookies?! What’re the matches going to be to prepare us for Fatal 4Way? WILL SHEAMUS EVER TAN?! All questions will be answered tonight… Not really.

Raw starts us off with a rewind of what happened last week. If you didn’t see it, YouTube it, because I’d really rather not cover it again. It was the NXT rookies beating the hell out of everyone, and that’s all I’ll say about it. I saw enough of it reviewed and talked about and replayed in the past week that I’m so over what’s happened.

We start out with Wade Barrett in the ring, and he introduces himself as the Season One NXT Winner. He says he’s out there because RAW General Manager, Bret Hart demanded that he come out and apologize for lats week. He says that the rest of the NXT Rookies need to come out too so that they can apologize properly. The NXT Rookies fill the ring, and Jerry “The King” Lawler and Michael Cole leave, along with Justin Roberts and a few other people. Barrett starts with Heath Slater, asking him to apologize. Slater says no, and he would do it again in a heartbeat. Barrett moves to Justin Gabriel, who says never and he still has goosebumps. Skip Sheffield says no apolgies, no regrets. Michal Tarver says that the look of fear lived on the sweetest of his dreams, and there is no one in the WWE who can make him apologize. Darren Young says not a chance, and he had the time of his life last week. David Otunga says apologize? For what? After how the NXT Rookies were treated, they need to apologize to them. Barrett takes the mic back and says it looks like it’s unanimous. The rookies were treated like dirt, animals, and sooner or later, people will behave like animals. They were made to change in a small locker room, do ridiculous challenges, and were at the mercy of overzealous pros. The rules changed at a moment’s notice, they were eliminated on a whim, and they were made an international joke. Last time he looked, jokes were supposed to be funny, but no one was laughing after RAW last week when they destroyed the ring and John Cena (Obviously, this guy doesn’t read through the Twitter feed I was getting…)

Bret Hart makes his way out and says that they look proud of what they did. Where he comes from, eight on one doesn’t make you tough, just makes you look more cowardly. He reminds us that last week, they attacked John Cena, the Straight Edge Society, security, Justin Roberts, a timekeeper, and a Hall of Famer. Wade Barrett says that Daniel Bryan showed some remorse for it (because apparently that’s how they’re going to play off his firing…), and we’ll never see Daniel Bryan again. Bret says that despite everything, John Cena will still be competing this Sunday at Fatal 4Way. Wade says this had nothing to do with Cena, or the people in the arena. It’s between the Rookies and WWE Management. Aside from some of the pros, they don’t have a problem with anyone in the locker room. The Rookies could stay out arguing all night, but they need to get down to business. Wade has a contract, and a title opportunity at a Pay-Per-View of his choosing, but the other Rookies have their own demands.

David Otunga takes the mic and says their demands are guaranteed WWE contracts, private dressing rooms, and first class travel accommodations. If they fail to comply with even one demand, last week was just the beginning. Barrett takes the mic back and says that before Bret says anything, two weeks ago, Vince McMahon informed him that he would have difficult decisions to make as RAW’s General Manager. This isn’t a difficult choice, because behind him are a group of highly-polished athletes, who could be the future of the WWE. They’re dressed, here, and ready to fight. All they need is a contract.

Bret says that Barrett is right. It is his job to find new, fresh talent. But, with that in mind, his answer is no. He’s not hiring anyone. Barrett says he’s making a mistake. Bret says that it’s the Rookies who made the mistake by attacking Cena. He’s not signing any of them and on account of his actions, Barrett is no longer the breakout star of the WWE (Though Bret said WWF and it made me laugh), and he doesn’t get a title shot, because he’s fired. As for the rest of the Rookies, they can get out of the ring, or Bret will call the cops to physically remove them for trespassing, and they’re all through, whether they like it or not.

Everyone’s back ringside, and King says you can’t bully your way into the WWE.

Fatal Four Way Match for the United States Championship
United States Champion R-Truth vs John Morrison vs Zack Ryder vs The Miz

Ryder focuses on Morrison, and Truth focuses on Miz. Truth and Morrison get Miz and Ryder out of the ring, and go at it. Truth and Morrison lock up, and Truth gets Morrison in a headlock. Truth goes for a cover, but Ryder breaks it. Ryder whips Truth, and Miz grabs his ankles. Truth kicks him off, and Morrison rolls Ryder up. Ryder kicks out at two. Miz, Ryder, and Truth are outside the ring. Miz gets up on the apron, and Morrison flips outside the ring, grabbing Miz and throwing him out and into Ryder.

Miz and Morrison are in the ring, and Morrison goes for the cover. Miz kicks out at two, only to be covered again, and Miz kicks out at two again. Ryder’s up on the turnbuckle, and Morrison goes up with him, going for a superplex. Truth pulls them down and everyone’s down. Truth goes for a cover on Miz, who kicks out at two, then Ryder, who kicks out at two, then Morrison who kicks out at two. Miz goes for a cover on Truth, but Truth kicks out a two. Miz is attacked by Truth, but Ryder pulls him off. Truth starts wailing on him, then goes for Morrison and salms him down. Ryder misses a clothesline, but Truth hits Ryder with a scissor kick. Truth covers Ryder, but Miz breaks it up. Truth goes for Miz, but Miz pulls on the top rope, sending Truth out. Miz then hits Morrison with a baseball slide. Miz then runs at the opposite tunbuckle and hits Ryder with his swinging corner clothesline. Morrison pulls Miz out and hits him with a clothesline. Truth and Ryder are in the ring, and Truth hits the Lie Detector on Ryder. He goes for the cover, but Morrison breaks it. Morrison went to do something to Truth, but Miz distracted him, and both Truth and Morrison throw Miz out. Truth knocks Morrison down and goes for the cover, but Ryder breaks it up. Truth knocks Ryder in the corner, Ryder moves, Truth hit with Rough Ryder. Ryder goes for the cover, but Morrison breaks it up. Morrison hits Startship Pain on Truth, Miz throws him out, and covers Truth for the win.

New United States Champion, The Miz!

The main event tonight will be Randy Orton vs Sheamus!

Randy is backstage with Josh Matthews, and Matthews asks how Randy’s shoulder is, considering that Randy is competing tonight. Randy says that anything can happen at Fatal 4Way, as was just proven. He says to watch, wait, and see about his shoulder, when he fights Sheamus. Matthews then asks about the NXT Rookies. Randy says part of him has to respect it, because he understands why they’re making a point. But, a bigger part of him just thinks they’re a bunch of punks. They deserved to either be fired, or have their brains beaten in. But, considering Barrett only got fired, they got off lucky.

We come back to a Royal Pains package with Big Show, and Mark Feuerstein is with the Bellas. We’re reminded that this Thursday, on USA, at 10/9 Central, the Big Show guest stars. Ted DiBiase comes up and interrupts . He says that Mark could have a shiny new car of his choice waiting for him in the parking lot if he makes Ted co-Guest Host for the night. Mark says that unlike some people in the room, he has integrity. The answer is no. Mark then admits he’s a little scared of Ted, but then sees Big Show. He says that he would love to let Ted co-Guest Host, but there’s no chance he’s going to let him do that, because Ted’s a spoiled little daddy’s boy. Mark says that he was a wrestler in high school, and they called him Main Event Mark. Show clears his throat, and they shut up. Show says that they can do a match tonight: Show and Mark vs Ted and Virgil. Ted says done, and he and Virgil leave. Mark admits to Show that he was really an ice skater. He does a move where he jumps into Show’s arms, and the Bellas see it. Show says next time, Mark catches him, because it’s much more impressive.

Up next, John Cena will talk about last week’s attack!

Rewind to last week’s first Viewer’s Choice Match, the Body Slam Contest between Show and Jericho.

Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne

Chris an Evan start viciously. Chris kicks Evan, then rams him into the turnbuckle. Chris Irish Whips Evan, who counters with a hurricanrana. Drop toe hold, dropkick to the face, and then Bourne goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at one. Jericho clotheslines Bourne, and goes for the cover, but Bourne kicks out at two. Chri then drops Bourne, stomps on his back, gets him in a headlock. Bourne gets up and kicks back, but Jericho smacks him and runs him into the turnbuckle. He throws Bourne over, but Bourne lands on the apron, kicking Jericho. He goes for a sunset flip, but Chris counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho, only for Bourne to kick him away. Bourne goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho hits the Codebreaker, and goes for the cover, but Bourne kicks out at two. Jericho starts attacking Bourne, and the ref tells him to stop. Jericho shoves the ref away and keeps going against Bourne. Jericho threatens the ref the next time he comes over and keeps kicking Bourne. The ref calls for the bell.

Evan Bounre wins via Disqualification

Jericho picks Bourne up and smacks him. Bourne kicks him and hits the Shooting Star Press.

Next up, Cena will respond to the NXT attack.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHUT THE DOOOR!!!!!

Cena comes out and makes his way to the ring as we flash back to earlier tonight when Barrett was fired.

Cena says that he had the night off, and he thanks Bret for having his best interests at heart. Thanks to Bret for not caving into the demands of the Rookies, because they’re demands that shouldn’t even be put up for negotiation. A portion of him respects them for doing it, and they needed a target. He says he’s the biggest target (and I blame the orange shirt for this), and he’s used to it. He goes on to say that their plan was almost brilliant, because their genius was blinded by their ignorance. The problem was with management, and they took RAW away from the WWE Universe, which was a bad move, because they made five million new enemies. They destroyed the ring, considered sacred ground, and now every WWE Superstar wants their head on a plate. Wade was fired tonight. Bold decision, but it won’t fix the problem. If the group was lawless enough to stop a broadcast of RAW, he says that getting arrested for a misdemeanor is the least of their problem. They’ve been kicked out, but he’s still there, and he hopes their watching. He’s going to Fatal 4Way, he’ll be on RAW the night after, and he’ll be standing in the ring, demanding they finish it. They’ve been fired, and all Cena has is his word. His word is this: If they fight, he won’t press charges.

The NXT Rookies show up from the stands again. He says that they thought he was a target? They put the target off him and put it on their own heads. King gets into the ring joined by Evan Bourne, William Regal, R-Truth, and Santino. A full out brawl starts, and Mark Henry, Randy Orton, and Edge all join. Sheamus even runs in with his lead pipe. The NXT Rookies run away, but the Superstars chase them backstage and out of the arena.

Sheamus is backstage with his lead pipe and Josh Matthews walks up and asks why he helped. Sheamus says that he won’t let the NXT Rookies ruin his match at Fatal 4Way, and if anyone’s going to take out Cena, it’s going to be him.

Rewind to last week’s Battle Royal.

Diva’s Champion Eve Torres & Gail Kim vs Maryse and Alicia Fox

It’s been announced that the Diva’s Championship is on the line in a Fatal 4Way as well on Sunday. Diva’s Champion Eve Torres will defend against Gail Kim, Maryse, and Alicia Fox.

Maryse shoves Eve before the match has even started, and the two start attacking as soon as the bell rings. Eve kicks Maryse in the stomach and throws her down. Eve bounces back, but Alicia grabs her hair. Eve tries to pay her back, but turns around to get hit by Maryse with a spinning back kick. Alicia gets tagged in and they hit a double team, before Alicia covers Eve, but Eve kicks out. Alicia hits a superplex and then goes for the cover, but Eve kicks out again. Alicia puts Eve in a headlock, Eve fights out, and Alicia throws her onto the mat. She drags her by her hair to the corner and tags in Maryse. I missed some part or another here, but Alicia’s back in, she kicks Gail away, and then Eve is thrown into the corner. Alicia goes for a kick, but misses and ends up kicking Maryse. Eve hits a neckbreaker on Alicia and wins.

Diva’s Champion Eve Torres and Gail Kim win!

Turns out John Cena has decided to compete tonight after all, and the main event is now the one we missed the other week: John Cena and Randy Orton vs Edge and Sheamus. But, next up, Mark and Big Show will take on Ted DiBiase and Virgil.

The Big Show & Guest Host Mark Feurstein vs Ted DiBiase & Virgil

Ted and Show start out this match. Ted tries to get Show in a submission, but Show powers out and shoves Ted into a corner. He then proceeds to put his ass in Ted’s face. He stands Ted up and slaps his chest once, twice. Ted is throw into the opposite corner, and manages to poke Big Show’s eyes. Ted tries to pick him up, but Show just throws him. Ted then tags in Virgil, who looks at Ted like he’s nuts. He gets off the apron to talk to Ted, but Show grabs his head and just hurls him into the ring. Virgil rolls to the other side of the ring and out, but Mark grabs him and throws him back into the ring. Show bodyslams Virgil, then steps on him. He picks him up, throws him into the turnbuckle, rips her shirt, and slaps him too. Show gets Virgil with the chokeslam. While Ted’s yelling at a motionless Virgil to get up, Show tags in Mark. Mark breakdances in the ring for a minute before he does the worm over to Virgil. He winds up, and then drops… next to Virgil in an attempted elbow drop. Anyway, he covers Virgil for the win.

Big Show and Mark Feuerstien win!

Ted looks both humiliated and pissed. He starts to just walk right by Virgil, but then he stops and pulls $100 out of his boot, walking over and sticking it in Virgil’s mouth. He then walks away, but goes back, grabs the money, wipes it on Virgil and puts it in his trunks, reminding me of a hooker, before he walks out.

Showstopper by Toby Mac is the official F4W theme!

William Regal vs Santino Marella with Vladimir Kozlov as the Special Guest Referee

Kozlov starts the match and Santino, reminiscent of the other week, attempts a few kicks on Regal before Regal nails him with a shoulder block, stomping on his arm. Santino’s flipped, and Regal’s back on his arm. Regal’s focusing on Santino’s arm, but Santino manages to get Regal down with a handful of tights, and Kozlov gives him the three count. Regal argues, but Kozlov rolls out of the ring.

Santino Marella wins.

Bret comes out and says that he wants every Superstar out on the stage to prevent history from repeating itself. Up next, the main event!

<COMMERCIAL>

Edge & Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena & Randy Orton

Sheamus starts with Cena. They lock up, Sheamus gets Cena in a headlock. Cena pushes down on Sheamus’ knee with his foot to get out, and reverses it. Sheamus gets to the ropes. Cena reaches out to Sheamus’ hand like he’s going to lock up again, then goes around him for a full nelson, but Sheamus gets to the ropes again. Cena moves over and tags Orton in. Orton punches Sheamus, then puts him in a headlock. Sheamus pushes Orton into the turnbuckle and gets him down, kicking at him. Sheamus tags in Edge, but Oton hits Edge with a backbreaker. He goes down, pounding on the mat, then gets up and goes for the RKO, but Edge pushes him away and rolls out of the ring.

Cena gets the upperhand on Edge, hits a fisherman suplex and goes for the cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge gets out and goes for a clothesline only to miss. Cena hits a clothesline, however, and goes for a cover. Edge grabs the ropes. Cena punches Edge a few times and then knocks Edge out of the ring. Edge gets back in, but stays on the apron, grabbing Cena’s head and jumping off the apron. Cena falls back, and then Edge drags Cena to the other corner. He gets him in an arm bar before he tags in Sheamus. Sheamus kicks Cena, then goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Sheamus delivers a running high knee to Cena, then shoves his head down. Sheamus distracts the ref, and Edge holds Cena in a headlock. Sheamus then tags in Edge. Edge tries to get Cena up, but Cena hits a superplex on him. Edge then tags Sheamus back in, and Sheamus hits an elbow drop. Sheamus, once again, distracts the ref, and Edge takes advantage outside the ring. Sheamus rolls out and throws Cena into the barrier. He gets him back in the ring and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two.

Sheamus hits a clothesline and goes for another cover, but Cena kicks out at two again. Sheamus gets Cena in a headlock and wraps his legs around Cena’s torso. Cena stands up, holding Sheamus and reaches for Orton, but falls. Sheamus goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Sheamus tags in Edge and Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Sheamus drops him, and Cena is set up for the Spear, but moves last minute. Orton and Sheamus are tagged in. Orton keeps dropping Sheamus to the mat, and then hits a scoop slam. Orton gets Sheamus between the ropes and drops him face-first into the mat. He drops to the ring again, and then gets up to RKO Edge. Sheamus hits Orton with an Ax Handle, and then hits what King (I think) called the Irish Curse Backbreaker, and goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out. Sheamus gets Orton in a submission, but Orton fights out. Sheamus puts his knee in Orton’s gut, and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Sheamus drags Orton to his corner and tags in Edge. Orton fights Edge and Sheamus, and Edge hits a drop toe-hold and beats on Orton’s shoulder. Orton gets to his feet and then is Irish Whipped. He kicks Edge, who hits a clothesline. Orton tags Cena. Cena hits two shoulder blocks when the lights go down.

The NXT Rookies are destroying the backstage area. Two of them, I’m not sure which two because everyone started looking the same, get Bret in the back seat of a limo, which then proceeds to rear end a bunch of cars. They pull him out and say they want an answer by Sunday, and then they scatter.

So! What will the answer be at Fatal 4Way? Will the Rookies ever go away? STAY TUNED!!

NXT 4/11

May 11, 2010 11:07 pm 1 Comment

Of course the big news for NXT is that Daniel Bryan broke his losing streak last night, pinning Santino Marella.

Oh, yeah and someone’s going to be eliminated tonight.

We start off with a review of some of the show’s hightlights.
(more…)

WrestleMania XXVI – LIVE and in living colour.

March 28, 2010 5:48 pm 3 Comments

Welcome, welcome, welcome. When the big events come, they call in the big guns. The Howard Finkel of BWF, if you will. I’m back, for my first appearance since Jan 4th. See? What’d I say about Big Time events? With superstars like Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart, Shawn Michaels, Triple H and the Undertaker appearing, you’d think it was 1997. But, it’s 2010, and we are LIVE from Phoenix, Arizona.

Tune in, after the turn, for LIVE, unedited, uncensored, and Pro-HBK coverage of WrestleMania XXVI. Oh, and a quick note for Jack Korpela. Why do you have a job?

(more…)

Random Randomness

March 7, 2010 10:08 am Leave a Comment

Welcome all and how is everyone? Things are all well here in JTland , but enough about me, I have a whole week of wrestling to to talk about. So without further ado, lets get this show on the road:

1. More releases this week. Last week I forgot to mention the release of WWE referee Scott Armstrong. For those who don’t know, Armstrong was the referee who made The Undertaker “tap out” to CM Punk at Breaking Point. This is a shock because you don’t hear about referee’s being released that often. Also released this week was Charlie Haas which is really no surprise because we barely saw him on TV in the last year, so it was coming.

2.RIP Angelo Poffo, father of The Genius and Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

3. TNA released Awesome Kong, Traci Broooks, and Roxxi. I guess they won’t be focusing hat much on the Knockouts anymore.

4. Sean Morley (aka Val Venis) has left TNA to work in Mexico saying TNA had nothing solid yet. Damn, I figured that TNA would have him under some kind of contract seeming that he just went over TNA founder Jeff Jarrett this past week on iMPACT!

5. So, tomorrow is the “big night” where iMPACT! goes head to head with RAW. While I wish them all the best, unless they air the replays on Thursday, I won’t be tuning in.

6. Rob Van Dam is scheduled to appear on tomorrow night’s iMPACT!

7. What was with the squash match Money In The Bank qualifying matches on RAW this week? Ok, I understand Jack Swagger killing Santino Marella, because Marella is a jobber, but MVP squashing Zack Ryder shouldn’t have happened especially after pushing him to the moon on ECW.

8. Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon in the inductee into the class of 2010 WWE Hall Of Fame.

9. I’m still not really into the NXT program. I just don’t get what everybody likes about it.

10. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch the Goldust/Chris Jericho match from this weeks Superstars. Hell the whole show was goos, but the Jericho/Goldust matchup was awesome. Lets hope WWE does something with Goldust now that he’s on Smackdown.

11. Ok, so WWE now stops matches when someone gets a cut (Chavo was cut during his match with Kofi Kingston). Come on, this is stupid. Even the live fans didn’t like it. It’s one thing to do it during a live show, but to do during a taped show is just stupid.

12. John Morrison and R-Truth are facing Show-Miz for the WWE Unified Tag Team Titles. I think someone said that a couple weeks ago in his Random article. I wonder who that could be?

13. We have a Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang sightings, yet they weren’t jobbing together. In fact Slam Master J didn’t even wrestle.

14. I don’t know why people give Matt Hardy crap for being fat, he really isn’t. He’s in better shape than most of us are.

15. Apparently now you can get your losses removed from you record no in the WWE, even when you lose clean, twice. Who knew.

16. On a final note, for all of those interested, I will be hosting the Wrestlemania 26 Roundtable and I would like to make this a big one, so all are welcome, but please get me your picks by no later than Friday March 26, 8pm eastern so I can have it up Sat morning.

Ok that all for another week, thanks again for reading and see you all next week.

Tag Archive: Santino Marella

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